-XXX-
The bustle of the courtyard died down incrementally as the sun dipped lower into the sky, light orange shifting to deep pinks and purples as night crept upon the castle. Servants hurried to get their last minute chores done while new guards took over for the old, preparing for a long vigil in the oncoming darkness. Out past the main gate, the lower town lit up as each household lit candles, no one quite ready to sleep yet. Bawdy, off-key tunes carried from the ever-busy tavern throughout the town, merriment and drunkenness forming the evening's entertainment for anyone nearby.
Merlin lounged in the alcove of Arthur's window, watching the goings-on down below and taking comfort in the familiarity of it all. The stones which made up the castle were barren of warmth and the corridors were littered with cold, empty spaces, but there was still life to be found. Nobles, knights, guards, servants, and common folk all coalesced to form Camelot's beating heart. It's that heart which Merlin had adopted as his own so long ago and had sworn to defend until his last breath.
He closed his eyes, fighting off sleep as he imagined soaring above the city, keeping watch over Camelot and her people. When yellow light limned the edges of his lids, he blinked them open to find a small dragon made up of red and gold sparks perched upon his bent knee. It tilted its head at him curiously, bursts of color swirling around it with the movement.
Merlin grinned, holding out his hand palm-up. The little dragon opened its maw in a silent screech and hopped onto the proffered hand, curling its tail around his pinky. He could feel its minuscule weight as well as the heat it gave off. His magic had a tendency to have a mind of its own when he was distracted, so he wasn't all that surprised to have the living creation appear out of thin air.
It flapped its wings and began grooming itself like a bird, even though it technically didn't need to seeing as it was made up of magic. Merlin observed its routine with a soft smile, images of Aithusa automatically coming to mind. He hadn't seen her since he'd sent her to Kilgharrah, but he could always feel her presence in the space behind his heart if he focused on it. She felt warm and full of light and, above all, safe. He missed her like he would a limb, but he knew she was better off with Kilgharrah. The old dragon could protect and teach her, something Merlin couldn't do as long as he resided in Camelot. Dragons would never be welcome here. He would just have to visit her at some point, make sure she knew he hadn't abandoned her. The urge to see her again was like an itch under his skin, and he wouldn't be surprised if she felt the same way. Perhaps it had something to do with Merlin being the one to hatch her from the egg, since he certainly didn't feel such a compulsion to see Kilgharrah's cranky mug. Hopefully she understood why he had to send her away. He didn't think he could bear it if she resented him for it.
He glanced out the window again, searching the blackening skies for a shape he knew he wouldn't see, and thus missed the door opening across the room. It was only when he heard it slam shut that he realized someone had entered. He flinched and spun around, his head smacking against the wall in the process. The dragon in his palm faded into nothing, and he snatched his hand back and curled it into a loose fist on his thigh.
Arthur had paused by the table, his gaze trained on where the dragon had just been with his fingers lightly gripping the clasp of his cloak where he'd halted in the process of removing it. His expression held an odd mixture of curiosity and discomfort, though he quickly tried to smother the latter when he realized Merlin was staring at him with wide, panicked eyes.
"Skipping chores again, Merlin?" Arthur cleared his throat, moving into the room and taking off his cloak like there had never been an awkward pause in the first place. He chucked the expensive piece of cloth in Merlin's direction, and the servant scrambled forward to catch it, his brain still catching up with the fact that Arthur had seen him performing magic and wasn't calling for the guards.
Merlin bit his lip, twisting the smooth fabric in his hands as Arthur continued to take off his crown and open the wardrobe to search for a more casual tunic. He sifted through his options for only a few moments before lifting out a plain white tunic that he often wore for his evening dinners with Gwen, then he disappeared behind the changing screen.
"Um…I was…That wasn't…" Merlin gestured toward the alcove where he'd been sitting, even though Arthur couldn't see the motion. Various explanations popped up in his head, his mind used to coming up with unbelievable and downright preposterous reasons for such a situation. He winced at the natural habit, reminding himself firmly of the promise he'd made his king yesterday: no more lies. "That was magic," he mumbled defeatedly, folding the cloak neatly and tucking it away in a chest.
Arthur walked out from behind the screen, an eyebrow raised in amusement. Merlin automatically went over to help him with the laces of his tunic, keeping his gaze resolutely on the task in front of him.
"Yes, thank you, Merlin. I'm not a complete idiot," Arthur snorted, batting the warlock's hands away when they lingered unnecessarily at his neck even after the laces were tied. Merlin huffed, marching away to set the table for two. Usually Gwen arrived shortly after the final council meeting of the day, so she should be here soon enough.
Arthur ambled along after him, crossing his arms. "You don't have to hide it from me anymore, you know," he said softly, ducking his head in an attempt to catch his servant's gaze.
Merlin pressed his lips together, shaking his head as he placed utensils beside each plate with trembling fingers. "It's still against the law," he pointed out quietly.
Arthur scoffed good-humoredly, resting both hands over the back of a chair. "Like that ever stopped you before," he remarked.
Merlin's lips twitched upward. "Different circumstances," he argued half-heartedly.
Arthur nodded in exaggerated agreement, leaning forward until his elbows held his weight and his hands dangled in front of him. "I see. So…you don't use magic for chores, then," he presumed with a teasing lilt, his blue eyes sparkling with laughter.
The tips of Merlin's ears heated, and he scowled at the king. "It's not my fault you always give me a list of chores long enough to put the entire castle to work!" He grumbled.
Arthur chuckled, dipping his head in acquiescence. "Fair enough. But perhaps the reason you have trouble finishing your duties is because you're too busy making pretty shapes out of thin air," he quipped, slapping Merlin on the back hard enough to send him nearly face-first into the table before walking over to his desk and sitting down to begin sorting through the stacks of parchment that had accumulated over the day. Merlin made mocking faces at him when he wasn't looking, realizing belatedly that he truly was as childish as Arthur subtly accused him of being.
"Shall I go fetch your dinner, Sire?" He asked, imbuing the title with as much insolence as he could muster.
He almost missed Arthur's smile when he replied, since the king didn't raise his gaze from his work. "Yes. Have some other servants help you with everything. We're having dinner with Gwen as well as the Knights," he said casually.
Merlin nodded. It wasn't really a strange occurrence for Arthur to dine with the Round Table Knights some evenings. He took a step toward the door, then froze when the rest of the king's words filtered through his understanding.
"We?" He questioned, his voice pitched a little higher than he'd intended.
Arthur glanced up at him, suddenly looking quite nervous. Merlin narrowed his eyes, a sense of dread pooling in his stomach.
"I thought it would be best for you to join us tonight," Arthur started, tapping his quill against the desk distractedly. "I want you to tell them about your magic," he finished in a much softer tone, somehow both pleading and demanding at the same time.
Merlin's eyes nearly bulged out of his sockets as he squeaked, "What?!" His balance faltered, and he hastily lurched over to the nearest chair, collapsing into it with a distressed whine.
Arthur rolled his eyes. "Don't be so dramatic, Merlin. You told me , right? And the world didn't end." His words did not reassure the warlock in the slightest.
"What if they hate me? Gwaine will feel so betrayed that I didn't tell him! And Leon, gods, Leon! When he finds out I'm the one who released the dragon he'll never forgive me!" Merlin fretted, burying his face in his hands.
It had taken every ounce of his courage just to admit the truth to Arthur! How could he possibly go through all that again? Lancelot had taken it well enough, but he hadn't been lying to him for years when he found out. If Gwaine ended up hating Merlin for deceiving him all these years, Merlin would never forgive himself. And Gwen! What would she think? He understood in the grand scheme of things how important it was for the queen to know such vital information, especially since Arthur would loathe having to keep secrets from her, but she'd been his first friend in Camelot. Merlin could imagine all too well the hurt flicker in her gaze when she realized he hadn't trusted her enough to tell her the truth.
Merlin startled when he felt calloused hands wrap around his own, pulling them away from his face. Arthur was crouched in front of him, expression sympathetic yet disapproving.
"You know how much Guinevere and the Knights care about you, Merlin. I have no doubt that they'll accept your magic just as I have. Especially Gwaine. We both know he's always been more loyal to you than me," Arthur stated, pretending to be exasperated at that fact. Merlin's lips twitched in amusement, knowing deep down that he was right. "As for everything else…" Arthur trailed off with a shrug. "You can tell them as little or as much as you'd like. As long as they know about your magic, nothing else needs to be said. Although I fully intend on making sure they know just how many times you've saved our arses over the years," he warned lightly, squeezing his hand.
Merlin frowned. "They'll think differently of me," he murmured despondently.
Arthur nodded. "As they should. You're not just the prattling fool you pretend to be, and they deserve to see that as well as I. And you should be able to be yourself around us. No more hiding," he ordered gently.
Merlin sighed, simultaneously relieved to be recognized as more than the clumsy servant who scampered after the Knights where he didn't belong and dreading having his lies exposed for the second time in two days.
Arthur rose to his feet, briefly ruffling Merlin's hair. "Go on and get the food. Guinevere and the Knights will be here soon. And Merlin?" He stopped and turned back from where he'd walked a few paces back toward his desk. "Don't forget. Tonight, you're not a servant. You're sitting down with the rest of us." He pointed a finger at Merlin, waiting for his acknowledgment.
Merlin gave a vague murmur of agreement, pulling himself out of the chair so he could go down to the kitchens. Despite the anxiety filling him due to his approaching announcement, he couldn't help the small bounce in his step at the prospect of eating a real meal. He stole food off of Arthur's plate all the time, but it wasn't the same as actually sitting down at the table to eat with his friends, all of which outranked him by quite a bit.
For tonight at least, they would be equals.
-XXX-
-XXX-
Gwen was the first to arrive, escorted by Elyan. Gwaine and Percival followed shortly after, still wearing their hauberks but lacking the rest of their armor. Leon was the last to show up, nodding a greeting to Merlin when he opened the door before striding over to Arthur. The two conversed quietly for a few minutes, most likely about training or upcoming patrols. Merlin flitted around the table as everyone took their seats, filling their goblets with wine and trying to calm his racing heart.
When Arthur and Leon finally pulled away to join the group at the table, the king smacked Merlin's chest lightly with the back of his hand and pointed at the chair to his right.
"Sit," Arthur commanded. Merlin gulped, glancing around awkwardly as everyone's voices petered out once they realized that he would be dining with them. Leon, who had originally moved to sit in that chair himself, pulled it out for Merlin without hesitation, instead sitting in the next chair over. Merlin set down the jug of wine hesitantly, casting about in his mind for some reason he might have to leave the room altogether, but Arthur's glare threatened him with bodily harm should he try to weasel his way out of dinner, so he capitulated without another word, slumping into his seat.
He folded his hands in his lap, feeling too queasy to even attempt a single bite of food. The Knights shared confused glances and Gwen tilted her head at him questioningly, but no one spoke up to break the loaded silence. They could all probably tell that something was going on, especially when Arthur nudged Merlin's foot underneath the table and jerked his head at the others. Merlin had been hoping they could at least finish the meal first, but apparently Arthur was determined to get this over with as soon as possible.
Gwaine was, as always, the first to brave the tense atmosphere. "Is it just me, or is there something we're missing here?" He asked, smirking lightly to diffuse the tension. "You okay, Merls? Princess hasn't been riding you too hard, has he?" It was said as a joke, but there was no masking the very real concern underneath.
"Why do you always assume everything's my fault?" Arthur muttered around a bite of chicken.
"Well, he does spend nearly every second of the day with you. I'm just going with probability." Gwaine shrugged, either not noticing or choosing to ignore the irritated look Arthur sent his way.
"It's not Arthur," Merlin cut in, reaching out to take a long swig of his wine. There were a few raised eyebrows at that, since he was never one to drink. Even when Gwaine managed to drag him to the Rising Sun, he stuck with water. He wasn't sure lowering his inhibitions was ever a good idea where his magic was involved. It was hard enough to keep it repressed when he was sober.
"Merlin, you know you can tell us anything. We're your friends," Gwen reassured him once he'd emptied his goblet and set it down. She was sitting directly across from him, and Merlin took comfort in her encouraging smile.
"Right. Well…the thing is…" He pressed his tongue against his teeth, mulling over the best way to put it out there. For some reason, it had been much easier to say the words when it was just Arthur. Now, with so many eyes on him, he found his tongue incapable of movement. So, instead of letting the silence drag on, he held out his hand palm-up. Elyan, Percival, and Leon observed the movement with absentminded attention, Gwen twitched like she wanted to grab his hand in her own, and Gwaine's eyes went wide and he shot a wary look in Arthur's direction.
"Lēoht," Merlin murmured. A bright white ball of light winked into existence, growing in size until it hovered over the edges of his splayed fingertips. The reactions were instantaneous. Gwen gasped, her hands flying to her mouth as she looked between him and the light with pure wonder in her brown orbs. Percival, Elyan, and Gwaine all froze, the latter's gaze trained on the king instead of the blatant magic in front of him. Leon, who sat closest to Merlin, instinctively grabbed at his sword hilt, which rested against the leg of his chair, but didn't actually make any move to attack. Merlin still shied away from him, leaving the glowing light to float in place as he leaned back. Images of a scowling Uther and a flaming pyre flitted through his mind, and he tamped down the natural urge to flee.
"Magic," Leon whispered in shock, for once not presenting the calm, steady aura he usually did. Merlin gulped, eyeing the knight's grip on his sword. It was so tight that the leather of his glove creaked.
He jumped in surprise when arms wrapped around his neck in a delicate embrace, and he just barely managed to wrangle his magic back from lashing out at the unexpected touch when he was already so on edge. The scent of lavender invaded his senses, sending a wave of calm through him when he realized it was Gwen who was currently squeezing the life out of him.
"Oh, Merlin!" She breathed, burying her face in his neck. Due to the awkward angle, he couldn't hug her back, so he simply rested his hands on the arm around the front of his neck, biting back a smile. The Knights watched them with surprise and even a bit of fond amusement, and Leon reluctantly let go of his sword, unwilling to pull a weapon with his queen nearby.
Gwen pulled back so she could look at him, turning his head gently so he would meet her gaze. Her eyes were watering slightly. "It was you, wasn't it? You saved my father," she guessed, pressing her lips together to stave off an emotional breakdown.
Merlin stiffened, her recollection of something that had happened years ago completely unexpected. He still couldn't believe how stupid he'd been, first in healing Tom and then admitting he was a sorcerer before Uther and his entire council, not that he regretted any of it. Well, he regretted the fact that Gwen got in trouble for his actions, but he was glad he was able to give her more time with her father.
He blushed, his gaze skirting briefly to the side to see Arthur's soft smile, illuminated by the hovering light. The king had been silent thus far, allowing his wife and friends to express their opinions on the matter without his interference.
Merlin returned his attention to Gwen. "And almost got you killed in the process," he admitted shamefully.
She looked at him through her lashes disapprovingly. "Oh, stop that. You saved my father. Having that extra time with him meant the world to me, Merlin," she insisted quietly. For a moment it felt like they were all alone, and his anxiety eased until he could breathe properly again. He hadn't had a proper conversation with Gwen since she became Queen, and he suddenly missed her so much his chest hurt.
She must have read the solemn expression on his face, because she pressed a soothing hand to his cheek. "I'm sorry you felt you had to hide that part of yourself from me," she whispered in self-recrimination.
"I hid from everyone," he corrected, refusing to let her believe she was at fault for his lies.
Gwen regarded him for a few seconds, her mouth working like she wanted to say more but couldn't quite find the words. In the end, she leaned in for one more hug before pulling away completely, walking back around to her chair to sit. "Not really a psychic, then?" She asked as an afterthought, smoothing her skirts. Merlin didn't miss the mirthful twinkle in her eye, and chuckled as he remembered the poor excuse he'd given her back then.
"Afraid not," he acknowledged with a grin.
His mood dimmed once he registered that the Knights were still staring at him in bewilderment. He sighed, waving the light back out of existence. He supposed he got lucky with Gwen's reaction. The Knights, however, were understandably gobsmacked. They were the ones who'd seen him on the training field getting absolutely pummeled during a sparring session, or tripping over himself on a hunt, or prattling complete nonsense on a patrol. They'd always treated him as a little brother of sorts. And now he had shown them his magic, something they tended to kill other people for quite often. Leon still appeared primed and ready to run him through on a moment's notice. Merlin probably should've been more upset about that, but he mostly just felt resigned.
"I never wanted to lie to any of you," he said, forcing himself to look at each of them in turn. "And I want you to know that you're truly my closest friends. That part was never a lie. I'm still Merlin, I'm just…more," he explained, shrugging helplessly. He didn't know how else to convince them that his friendship with them hadn't been some kind of manipulation.
Elyan glanced uneasily around the table, shifting in his seat. "So, you've had…magic…this entire time?" He questioned incredulously.
"Why act like a servant then?" Percival added, purely curious.
"I am a servant," Merlin told him pointedly. "I do the laundry, I bring the meals, I polish the armor. I am a servant," he repeated emphatically. "And I was born with magic. I don't know what it's like to be without it." Elyan and Percival shared a shocked glance at that, and everyone else seemed reasonably astonished at his statement, Arthur excluded.
"Born with it? That's possible?" Leon exclaimed, looking to Arthur for confirmation. The king nodded, which was apparently the only proof the First Knight needed. Leon leaned back in his chair, staring at the table with furrowed brows as he thought over the consequences of that revelation.
"Why come to Camelot, then?" Gwen wondered.
"I needed to learn to control my power, and my mum thought Gaius could help," Merlin answered succinctly.
"So Gaius knows, too?" Percival concluded, propping his forearms on the table as he grew more engaged in the conversation. Merlin nodded, grimacing as he thought of his mentor. He hadn't had a chance to speak to him since he told Arthur about his magic. The old man would probably have a heart attack at the news. He'd been advising Merlin for years to keep his gifts a secret, just like his mother always had.
"Gwen said you saved our father. Why would a sorcerer do something like that?" Elyan asked, narrowing his eyes in suspicion.
Gwaine snorted, tossing the hair out of his face. "Isn't it obvious?" He retorted with a grin, the first outward reaction he'd given since Merlin revealed his magic. "It's Merlin. He's got a bleeding heart for every person he meets. I've no doubt he's saved all our arses at some point."
"Many times, in fact," Arthur piped up with smug satisfaction. Merlin groaned internally, never one to accept praise easily. Especially when he'd done so many terrible things in the name of protecting those he loves.
"How, exactly?" Leon inquired hesitantly, finally lifting his gaze from the table.
Merlin's cheeks heated in embarrassment. "It's really not important—"
"He protects us on every patrol," Arthur interrupted, earning a scathing glare from the warlock. "He's the one who defeated Cornelius Sigan and the High Priestess Nimueh, and he's thwarted Morgause's multiple attempts to take over Camelot. He knew Agravaine was a traitor from the start. His list of deeds is impossibly long, but suffice it to say: we would've been dead a long time ago if it wasn't for him," Arthur declared, clapping a proud hand over Merlin's shoulder.
"I've made mistakes," Merlin argued, pulling away. He glanced sideways at Leon, softening his voice. "I released the dragon," he confessed.
Leon swallowed heavily, clenching the fist that rested on the table. Everyone held their breath for a few moments, waiting to see what the knight would do. Merlin was willing to accept whatever came his way. He deserved some kind of punishment for his foolish actions. Arthur hadn't forgiven him for releasing Kilgharrah, and he doubted Leon would be any different.
The First Knight dragged his wary gaze from Merlin to land on his king. "You knew of this, Sire?" He asked quietly and respectfully.
"He told me everything last night," Arthur replied honestly. "I've accepted it. All of it."
Leon nodded in acknowledgement, then straightened in his seat and let go of his sword. "Then so shall I," he decided.
Merlin's eyes widened, having expected some hatred at the very least. "But—"
"Have you ever purposefully aimed to harm Camelot?" Leon cut him off.
"Of course not, but—"
"Then I see no reason to dwell on the past. We've all made mistakes, Merlin. It doesn't make us evil. It makes us human," Leon said firmly. Merlin stared at him, gaping like a fish. Leon had been the one raised in Uther's Camelot, the knight most likely to fear and despise him for his magic, yet here he was, defying all expectations. Merlin's eyes burned with unshed tears, but he resolutely shoved them back, unwilling to cry in front of his friends. It was bad enough when Arthur witnessed it.
"Thank you," he murmured sincerely, then glanced around the table. "Thank all of you. I…really thought this evening would go differently," he admitted, chewing on the inside of his cheek.
"I didn't grow up here, so I never had the same prejudices against sorcery that others might have," Percival said, casting a nervous glance at Arthur like he expected the king to jump to his own or his father's defense. Arthur's lips merely twitched upward in a small smile.
"I'll be honest," Elyan began uncomfortably, "I didn't think sorcerers could want anything but power or revenge. It's…nice to know that isn't always the case," he muttered, ducking his gaze.
"I think it's bloody fantastic," Gwaine announced, pouring himself some more wine and raising his goblet in a toast before downing its contents in one go. Merlin huffed out a laugh, running a hand through his hair. The carefree knight sent him a wink. "I always knew there was something special about you, Merls. No ordinary servant tags along on quests with no concern for their own safety like you do."
"I'm too worried about protecting the lot of you to think about myself," Merlin complained half-heartedly.
Percival chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief. "That's going to take some getting used to," he remarked.
"What?" Merlin wondered, tilting his head.
"You, protecting us," Leon answered for him.
"Oh." Merlin frowned, trying to imagine things from their perspective. "I suppose it must be rather odd."
"Just a bit," Elyan agreed wryly.
Merlin shrugged sheepishly. "You all have saved me plenty of times, so it evens out in the end."
"Would you have even needed saving, though, if you hadn't needed to keep your magic a secret?" Leon pressed, raising an eyebrow.
Merlin paused, considering the question. He'd lost track of how many dangerous situations he'd found himself in over the years. He seriously doubted he would've been able to scrape through all of them with magic alone.
"I need you all watching my back," he responded eventually.
"That we can do," Arthur assured him, the other knights voicing their agreement.
"Man, Lance sure chose the worst time to volunteer for border patrol," Gwaine tutted. "I want to see the look on his face when he finds out."
Merlin cringed, sinking in his chair. "Well, actually… He kind of knows already," he admitted.
Arthur and Gwaine released twin exclamations of "What?!" and shot out of their seats.
"You told Lancelot before you told me?" Arthur demanded, Gwaine echoing the sentiment across the table.
Merlin raised his hands defensively. "Calm down, you prat. I didn't tell him anything. He found out on his own, back when he first came to Camelot. He saw me enchant the weapon he used to kill the Griffin," the warlock explained, rolling his eyes at his friends' behavior. Arthur harrumphed, only slightly mollified, but sat back down.
Gwaine snorted, shaking his head as he followed suit. "Figures Lancelot would know this entire time and not say a word. Honorable bastard," he muttered. Elyan rolled his eyes, flicking Gwaine's temple.
"Who else knows?" Gwen asked, picking at the remains of her food absentmindedly.
"Just Gaius, Lancelot, and you guys. And my mum, of course," he added. "There were others, but…" He trailed off, clenching his jaw as he thought of all the people he'd lost. Arthur reached across and squeezed his wrist comfortingly, drawing Merlin out of his memories. Everyone was sending him sympathetic looks now, with no small amount of curiosity, so he cleared his throat and shrugged. "Amelie as well, now, I suppose," he said, smiling when he thought of the kind sorceress. He wished she could stay in Camelot so he'd have another person with magic to talk to. Gaius might understand magic, but it wasn't the same as talking to someone who still practiced it.
"Right," Gwaine drawled, looking at Arthur. "The sorceress. I guess this explains the trial today," he surmised. The others startled, not having made the connection yet themselves. Arthur suddenly found himself the center of attention, and even Merlin was curious to hear his thoughts.
Arthur cast a quick glance at his servant before setting down his fork and folding his hands in front of him, switching from casually attentive to stoically business-like in an instant, as only a true royal had the ability to do.
"Yes, that's actually the main reason I brought all of you here tonight," he announced. Merlin's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, everyone else appearing just as lost. "There's something I want to do, but I need all of you to help me with it, because it won't be easy."
Leon was the first to offer his support, ever the faithful knight. "Of course, Sire. Anything you require, it is yours."
Arthur paused for a moment, taking hold of Gwen's hand. She accepted the gesture automatically, running her fingers over the back of his hand soothingly. Merlin didn't know how, but he felt a monumental change in the air, one that would leave them all breathless.
"I'm going to repeal the ban on magic," Arthur stated at last, his gaze immediately flicking over to Merlin.
The warlock froze, feeling like he'd been dunked in a lake in the middle of winter. His blood turned to ice, and his tongue felt a thousand times heavier in his mouth. Memories began playing through his mind in rapid succession: asking his mother as a child why he couldn't help the crops grow, and being told his gifts would cost him his life if anyone ever found out the truth; walking into Camelot and his first sight being that of a sorcerer's execution; the Great Dragon informing him of his destiny to help bring about the greatest era of peace and prosperity this land has ever known; lie after lie after lie told to protect a secret that would be his death if it were ever brought to light. He thought of the Druids, constantly on the run in fear for their lives. He thought of Freya—beautiful Freya—and her death that he might've been able to prevent had he been able to openly use his magic.
Merlin scrambled out of his seat, his chest constricting more with each breath as he made a beeline for the window, desperate for some fresh air. There was an incessant ringing in his ears, and he wiped a sweaty hand across his forehead before shoving open the window, letting the cool night air wash over him and settle his nerves. The sharp bite of the wind was enough to bring him back to himself, and he rested shaky hands on the windowsill, working on evening out his breathing. His senses were on high alert. He could see every distinct outline of the clouds against the bright moon; he could taste the tavern wine in the air; he could hear the crickets and the occasional hoot of an owl; above all, he could feel the magic. It rushed into his lungs with every inhale and sparked in his veins with every beat of his heart. It was everywhere—the stone walls, the air, the fields, the trees—and it ached to be free once more.
Merlin didn't realize he'd lost himself in the pull of the magic until Arthur's face appeared directly in front of him, shouting his name. The king's eyes were wide with worry, and his hands were placed on either side of Merlin's jaw, shaking him none-too-lightly in an attempt to break him out of his trance. Merlin blinked, feeling the warmth of gold fade from his irises.
"Arthur," he murmured, the only thought he was capable of at the moment.
"Merlin!" Arthur exclaimed in relief, visibly sagging. "Thank the gods! What on earth just happened?" He questioned, his voice cracking from the sheer level of concern he felt.
Merlin licked his lips, taking quick stock of his surroundings. "I…I just let myself go a little too far, that's all," he reassured his king quietly. It hadn't happened in a long time, not since he lived in Ealdor. It was always easier to get carried away in the flow of magic when he was surrounded by nature. "I'm alright now," he promised.
Arthur huffed out a disbelieving breath, but pulled back his hands to rub at his own face. "Gods, Merlin. Never scare me like that again."
Merlin bit his lip apologetically, then his eyes widened as he remembered what caused his breakdown in the first place. "You said… You said you were gonna lift the ban," he whispered in shock, swaying slightly.
Arthur let his hands fall and peered at Merlin cautiously. "If I confirm that to be true, are you going to freak out again?" He asked warily.
A hysterical laugh escaped Merlin's lips, and he grabbed Arthur by the shoulders. "Just tell me, you clotpole!" He begged, sniffling away tears. So much for not crying. "Did you mean it?" Any idiot could hear the raw hope in his voice.
Arthur's expression softened. "Yes, Merlin. I'm repealing the ban on magic. It won't be an immediate change. I still have to convince the council somehow, and the people won't just accept a sudden change in the law, and I need to come up with laws to regulate the safe usage of magic, but—"
Arthur's breath was knocked out of him when Merlin yanked him into a crushing hug, the warlock scrunching up the king's tunic with his death grip. Arthur was motionless for only a second before he returned the embrace, rubbing Merlin's back to help him calm down.
"You don't understand what this means to me, Arthur. You don't—" Merlin bit his tongue, burying his face further in his friend's shoulder.
"I'm doing this for the right reasons, Merlin. I know now that magic is a tool, and that it doesn't make a person inherently evil, and that there are so many ways it can be used for good. I know that," he insisted, the words ghosting over Merlin's skin. "But I'm also doing this for you," he confessed in a low murmur, only audible to the two of them. "Because I care about you, and I don't want you to live in fear anymore," he said, tightening his hold.
Merlin's answering smile quivered with emotion, unseen by everyone but the moon. If he focused, he almost imagined he could hear it whisper to him across the vast distance of space and sky.
You shall be free.
-XXX-
-XXX-
The knights all gathered in Leon's chambers after leaving dinner with the king, all of them still reeling from the revelations of the night. Gwaine immediately headed for the jug of wine, while the others pulled up chairs around the hearth. A servant had already come in at some point, so a fire blazed happily atop the coals, coating the room in a comfortable warmth.
"I still can't believe he has magic," Elyan muttered with a short, amazed laugh, shaking his head.
"It's not exactly the news I expected tonight," Percival agreed, rubbing his hands together as he leaned closer to the fire.
Gwaine sauntered over with his cup of wine, collapsing into his chair a bit clumsily. "I can't believe none of you ever even considered it," he commented, snorting in amusement.
Leon scrutinized the knight's blasé demeanor. "Are you saying you knew Merlin had magic?" He questioned.
Gwaine shrugged noncommittally. "I wasn't sure it was magic, but I could always tell there was something different about him. Good different," he clarified, shooting a warning look around the semi-circle of knights. The elaboration was hardly necessary. Everyone was perfectly aware how loyal Gwaine was to Merlin. He'd never say a bad word about the manservant (unless he was under a bloody spell, but that didn't count one bit.)
"He's lucky to be alive," Leon pointed out with a grimace. "If Uther had discovered his magic back when he was King, Merlin would've ended up on the pyre." The idea distressed the First Knight much more than he would've expected, but Merlin was no mere sorcerer. He was their dear friend, their fellow brother-in-arms, despite the fact that he wasn't a knight himself.
"Ha!" Gwaine waved off the notion of any harm befalling the servant. "Like the princess would've ever let Uther hurt a single hair on Merlin's head," he objected, sipping at his wine.
The others nodded in agreement. Everyone who watched Arthur and Merlin interact for any considerable length of time could clearly see how much the two cared for one another. They were practically sewn together at the hip. It was sort of an unspoken rule in Camelot that you didn't harm one without facing the wrath of the other. Even before they knew of Merlin's magic, they knew how fiercely he defended his Prince turned King. And many new knights and visiting nobles had been subjected to Arthur's sword on the training grounds when they mistreated the king's manservant in any way. It was a lesson many learned quickly: don't mess with Merlin.
"I'm just glad Merlin has a means to protect himself," Percival said. "I always thought it a bit worrisome that he never wore armor or wielded any sort of weapon on patrols."
"Turns out he's more well-equipped to handle a bandit attack than the lot of us combined," Elyan noted wryly.
"It's like he said, though," Leon interjected. "We watch each other's backs."
"Always do," Gwaine remarked lightly, raising his goblet briefly. They all shared knowing looks, but Leon was the one to voice what they were all thinking.
"And always will."
-XXX-