Presumed Interests
Ennaly didn't have a great night's rest. Her dreams were once again consumed by the horrors she had seen in the twisted future, when she and Dorian were sent forth in time. Bull and Varric, together with their Spymaster Leliana, were glowing softly, tainted by the red Lyrium they were forced to ingest. They were standing around Ennaly with outstretched hands, scrabbling towards her. Behind them loomed a thousand more red shimmering figures, all begging for help from featureless faces. Desperately, she took Leliana's hand, but the moment they touched, the figures overran them both, clawing and tearing and biting, dragging her down…
Startled, she shot awake and gasped as her ankle moved. Clearly, it hadn't stopped hurting. And it wasn't just her ankle bothering her. Sharp pain stung her hand like piercing daggers, that somehow managed to touch both body and mind. The mark on her palm sparked softly and with every little burst of light, a new jab of pain shot through her body. Ennaly gasped again as a sharp sting flashed brightly enough to illuminate the canopy of trees overhead.
"Are you alright?" a quiet voice spoke from her side, almost startling her.
It was dark, but the embers of the fire illuminated the clearing just bright enough to see. On a nearby rock sat Solas, holding guard. No red shimmering ghouls surrounded them, their presence only images conjured by the Fade.
"I've been better," Ennaly replied truthfully.
"Is your leg acting up?" Solas asked.
At that moment, the mark flared again in green light. "And this," Ennaly said, gritting her teeth during the wave of pain. Wiping away the strands of hair that were plastered to her face, she looked around, fearful that she had interrupted anyone's slumber. Most of the others were sleeping soundlessly, but Dorian was twisting and turning, like she must have done, moments ago.
Solas rose from the rock. "I can assist with that, if you like. I have helped before."
A little uncertainly, Ennaly sat up and readjusted the strap of her shift. "I won't say no," she said. Solas kneeled down next to her and took her hand. The green light shone on their faces, making them almost appear like spirits in the dark forest. He held her hand palm-up in his left, with his right hand held above. Quietly, he chanted his spell and tendrils of magic erupted from his fingers, a similar green colour to the mark's light. Ennaly closed her eyes and let the sensation of his magic wash over her, soothing and dulling the ache.
Half a minute later, she opened her eyes again. Tendrils of light were circling both her and Solas' hands, curling around like friendly spirits. Solas was commanding them with whispered words that sounded faintly Elvish.
"Even after all these years, I can still be amazed by how beautiful magic can be," Ennaly said softly.
Solas looked up at her, his eyes reflecting emerald green as a smile spread on his face. "It never bores me, either."
It was fascinating to watch him perform magic. He looked strangely relaxed, different from his normal stoic expression. Not even her Keeper had ever looked so effortless while performing magic.
He needed a few more minutes to finish his spell. "It should remain calm now," he said when he was done. With the magic faded, the green of his eyes dimmed back to grey.
Tearing her gaze away, Ennaly flexed her hand. It no longer hurt. "Thank you."
"Try and get some more sleep," Solas said as he returned to sit on the rock.
"I'll try," she sighed. "Those things Dorian and I saw, a week ago... you just don't forget about that easily."
It was supposed to be a simple distraction, to keep the Magister busy, while Leliana and her troops entered the castle. Only a few of them had been able to join them, and they had decided that Varric and Bull were probably best to help with distractions.
And then they were sent forward in time, forced to witness a future they managed to reverse. Terrible as it had been to endure, it had helped them uncover the plan that this Elder One, whatever it was, had its eyes on the Orlesian throne.
"If you'd like some distraction, I can offer a tale," Solas suggested.
"Yes, please," Ennaly replied gratefully. "Something about spirits, if you have?"
"I know just the one," he said.
Ennaly saw his eyes glimmering in the moonlight, and for a moment it made him seem oddly serene. He started a story about benevolent spirits helping the people around them, that remained unaware of their positive effect. His voice was calming and his accent carried just enough Dalish to make her think of home, or what home once had been. After a while, she again drifted back to sleep, this time without unpleasant dreams.
Their day's journey was comfortable enough. At times, a chilly wind blew, but the ground was firm and their horses had an easy time traversing. Loyally, every time they either got on or off their horse, Bull was there to help Ennaly.
The sun had passed its highest points several hours ago as they arrived back in familiar territory. Scouts had already seen their approach and for the last part of their journey, Cullen and a few soldiers rode to meet them, like an honour guard, welcoming them back.
Ennaly thought that the Templar looked quite dashing on his large white horse. She remembered meeting him, and he had terrified her. He was everything her clan had always warned her about: a handsome, strong Templar, with all the abilities to cancel hers. He would drag her off to a life of imprisonment, at least when the circles still existed, or worse, kill her.
But he hadn't, of course. And soon, he would stutter and blush when talking to her, and that made her blush, and it wasn't long before he didn't seem so intimidating anymore.
A week ago, when they had been in Redcliffe, Leliana decided it was best for Ennaly to travel back ahead of the main group. It would ensure she wouldn't be overwhelmed by the mages asking too many questions of her, it and would keep her mystique higher. The mages would focus more if she wasn't around to distract, and Ennaly and her group could help prepare Haven for their arrival.
Ennaly hadn't protested. She certainly preferred Haven to a group of intimidating mages. The little settlement had grown on her and everybody around, soldiers, civilians, visiting nobles, seemed to align with their cause. Some were certainly apprehensive of her, and others still called her knife-ear and rabbit behind her back, but that was already less than she dared hope.
During their ride, Cassandra and Ennaly informed Cullen of all that had happened. "They should be there in a few days, three if everything goes according to plan," Cassandra concluded. "They then need to settle in and prepare, so we will likely be ready to take on the Breech in five days, possibly six."
"We'll be ready. We've already set up new tents and have increased our inventories. Josephine's been arranging the Lyrium as well," he replied.
Ennaly swallowed as he looked at her expectantly. She was the one that was supposed to do all of this. "Good to hear," she said with a somewhat feigned smile.
The path narrowed, and Cassandra moved behind them. They were finished with their official debriefing anyway, but they still had a bit of road ahead before reaching Haven.
A little awkwardly, Cullen looked around. "So, did you have a good journey?" he asked, clearly trying to keep his voice normal.
"Well enough, until the end," Ennaly replied, and told him about the battle and her injury. He seemed concerned, but she shrugged. "It should be healed soon enough. I've had worse, I'll be fine."
Cullen smiled, but dropped it as he remembered something. "Right," he started. "Josephine told me that there's some Ferelden noble who wants to see you. Apparently, he has money and soldiers to offer the Inquisition, under the condition that he gets an audience with you, first. Josephine and I will be there as well."
Ennaly sighed. "Great. I cannot wait."
They halted their horses as they reached the stables. Ennaly threw her good leg over her horse's neck and sat sidle-saddle when she realised that jumping down would make her hit her foot. Cullen was the closest person around and she couldn't help feeling nervous about that. It was odd how a simple thing like a touch could be considered so differently, depending on the person. Bull had never made her nervous, all those times he helped her off and on her horse. But the thought of Cullen helping her felt very different.
He turned around, surprised that she hadn't jumped down, when he glanced down at her foot and seemed to remember her injury. Awkwardly, their gazes met, but neither of them moved or said something.
Bull's sudden voice startled both of them. "Got you, Boss," he said, appearing next to them. He gently picked her up from the saddle and gave a nod to Cullen. "Good ride, Commander."
Ennaly and Cullen shared a lingering look before she averted her eyes. Gods, she hated herself for wishing he had been the one to help her down, after all.
They could leave their horses and gear to be tended by the stable hands, and Cullen remained with them. Cursing herself, Ennaly hobbled forward with the help from her staff. The six of them wanted nothing more than to reach their respective huts and tents and rest before duties would whisk them away.
Bull found his way next to Ennaly. "Did my eyes fool me, Boss, or did you actually want to be helped by Cullen?" he said, soft enough so only the six of them could hear.
Dorian released a laugh. "Those looks have been going back and forth for longer, if I am correct," he teased.
"Really Herald, Curly?" Varric said surprised, actually looking around. Cullen was still at the stable, chatting with the soldiers that accompanied them.
Bull grinned widely. "Just go this his tent tonight. Or, you know, I don't think he would mind carrying you back. I sure made an appointment with that pretty stable hand just now."
"Really," Ennaly said, her voice higher than normal. "If we're all done discussing my presumed interests, I'm going to take a bath."
Cassandra gave her a tense smile and continued onwards when they reached the steps to the walled village. They all went their own way, Dorian helping Ennaly ascend the stairs. All she wanted was a bath and a nap. There were only a few hours of respite left before she needed to meet whatever noble requested her personally. She envied the others in her party, who weren't forced to sit through hours of boring bureaucracy.
A bath was one of those Human habits she secretly loved. She always revelled whenever the Dalish camped near hot springs, and a bath was almost like a portable hot spring.
After a nap and a good bath, Ennaly hobbled over to the formal dining hall. Well, formal dining hall sounded grander than it actually was. A single side room in the Chantry hosted their official affairs, able to offer more privacy than the communal benches in the main hall.
Ennaly had taken a few careful steps in the newly fallen snow when Cullen appeared, his hair freshly cleaned and combed back. "I don't think this Lord will give us too hard of a time," he said, offering his arm for support to help Ennaly up the stairs. "He observed this afternoon's training, and seemed pleased. I think he's mostly just interested in you, however, so he can boast back home of having met the Herald. Not uhm… Not that you're not actually interesting yourself, of course."
Not all awkwardness was awkward, she was happy to find. "Of course," Ennaly replied with a grin. Together, they entered the Chantry and took a seat in the dining room, waiting for the others. Half a minute later, Josephine entered and started to fret over Ennaly's staff. Surely, they couldn't leave it visibly out in the open, such a symbol of magic that might frighten the Lord away? Perhaps they could place it in her office for the time being?
At the sound of footsteps approaching, Josephine panicked and stashed the staff behind the tall curtains, out of sight. A second later, when the Lord entered, she had made a full recovery to calmness and politeness. Ennaly could only admire the Ambassador for her skills in diplomacy, for without her, they would all have been lost.
In the end, Cullen turned out to be right. The evening wasn't too bad. The Lord was polite enough and showed a genuine interest in their cause. After their long-winded dinner and stories, he proclaimed that he was pleased to offer his help and resources.
Ennaly knew this was her cue to leave. Josephine and Cullen always dealt with official business and her lingering presence was only a distraction at this point. As she got to her feet, she remembered that her staff was behind a curtain. Resigned to leave it there, she walked as steadily as she could. The last thing she wanted was to appear weak and tempt their chances just before the officials were finished. Cullen shot her a worried look, but she silently emoted that she would be fine.
And who knew? Perhaps Cullen would bring her staff when he was finished here, since he would practically be passing her hut on the way to his tent anyway. Now that was a thrilling thought.
With the communal dinner hours over, most people left the Chantry in favour of the Singing Maiden, or to whatever shelter they had. Therefore, it surprised Ennaly to see Varric and Dorian still sitting at a table, a card game between them.
"There she is!" Dorian exclaimed, waving at her.
Varric turned around in his chair. "Up for a nightcap before bed?" Varric asked.
For a moment, Ennaly remained rooted to her spot. Varric and Dorian must have cared enough about her to wait in the empty Chantry, while she knew they greatly preferred the tavern.
"Come on, we'll go back to my hut," Dorian added in encouragement, misinterpreting the emotion she felt for hesitation.
Ennaly couldn't help but smile brightly. They even cared enough to forego their own preferences for her comfort. They knew she wasn't fond of crowded places. "With you two?" she said. "Always." Who'd ever thought she could be friends with a Dwarf and a Human?
"Well, hop on then," Dorian said, turning his back to her, while Varric gathered the cards. "I won't be waiting forever. It's dark outside and you'll just stumble again, and then both your feet will be injured, and… It won't be easy to carry you all the way to close the Breach."
Shaken from her musing, Ennaly grinned and hopped on. Laughing, they made their way towards Dorian's hut. Inside, he lit the fire with a flick of his wrist and soon it was mercifully warm. Ennaly hobbled over to the bed in the corner so she could stretch out her leg while Dorian and Varric took the only two chairs at the table. Dorian poured them all glasses of some questionable liquid and soon they were exchanging stories.
"Herald, you have to tell us something about your younger year," Varric said, finishing a second glass. "You left us all hanging with your stories about dancing. Nothing you'd wish to share?"
Nothing but the stiff drink could have persuaded her to give in. "Fine," Ennaly replied, trying to make herself more comfortable. "Understand that this was half a lifetime ago. I was barely sixteen, before I got my Vallaslin." She touched the purple lines on her cheekbones for emphasis. "I had always been taken by stories. Dashing princes, beautiful enchanters, brave Grey Warden heroes, the courageous Emerald Knights... Even in my teenage years, I dreamt about being swept away by a hero or a prince.
We Dalish don't stay in a single place for too long, for fear of Humans and Templars. This particular spring, we were travelling in the forest north of Starkhaven. We had just done some trading in a Human village, and I, as the First, was always present during those. I had to learn diplomacy, after all. My eye had fallen on a Human boy, a woodcutter. He was tall with strong arms and golden hair. I thought he looked like a prince from Human tales."
"Like another Human we all know," Varric smirked. "Got a type, Herald?"
Ennaly narrowed her eyes. "I have a large list of types, I'll let you know, Dwarf."
"Can't fault you for liking the blondes," Dorian said with a grin. "We saw the King of Ferelden in Redcliffe. Just your type then, too."
Ennaly stared daggers at him and he cleared his throat apologetically. Satisfied, she took the last sip of her drink, feeling it burn as it descended to her stomach. "At that time, I knew the effect I had on some Human boys. I'd seen this boy looking at me during our trade. So, the next day, I took a hike in the woods. I found him, sleeves rolled up, hair in a ponytail. I let my hair loose and started to dance between the trees, letting him see little glimpses of me before I moved closer. I knew the tales of forbidden love between Elves and Humans and at that moment I deemed myself one of the Elven princesses from the tales.
The boy was enchanted. He followed my dance, and found me in a little clearing near a small stream. He had never seen an Elf before, living in a small village away from the large cities, and he found me as exciting as I found him. We danced under the moonlight and it was really quite sweet."
"Sweet?" Dorian repeated, somewhere between exasperation and delight.
Ennaly grinned. "I'll let you fill in the details for yourself."
It has been a while since she revisited the events. She was still amazed at how her teenage bravado had given her enough courage to do what she did. They were both teenagers, fumbling around, unsure of how things were supposed to happen, but they had a few days of seeing each other to improve.
Dorian's chuckle broke her short-lived reverie. "What happened next?" he asked.
"We... We moved away," she responded, almost lamely. "I never saw him again after a weekend of forbidden encounters."
Dorian released a disappointing sound, but Varric just laughed. "I'm wondering now what his story is, sitting near the campfire and telling his friends. Who would have thought, our Herald, an Elven Enchantress!"
"Please don't repeat that anywhere," Ennaly said meekly, partly regretting sharing the tale. "It feels like memories from a different person."
It had been, in a sense. Those events were a turning point in her life. Because while they did meet up multiple times, Ennaly didn't say it was exactly because of her that her clan moved away.
It was her Keeper that found out what she'd done. Ennaly was never able to lie to her. It was one of the only times her mother had been truly angry with her. She'd been with a Human? What if she'd fallen pregnant? It would have been a disgrace. She was a gifted mage, and magic was waning in the clans. Her Dalish duty was to find another Elven mage and... make more Elven mages, basically.
In the beginning, she had been so angry. At that moment, there wasn't yet another in their clan that showed signs of magic. It was just her and her Keeper for all her life. And so her Keeper decided they would quickly move on, and declared that her responsibilities would increase. It was time she turned into an adult, and two weeks later she received her Vallaslin. And the older she got, the less fairytale-like her encounters with Humans had become.
She only partly listened to the stories Dorian and Varric were telling, and shortly after, she fell asleep.
Two hours later, she woke abruptly, still curled up on Dorian's bed. At the table, Varric and Dorian both were asleep, their heads resting on the tabletop.
It was warm in the hut and Ennaly's head was spinning. That one drink was stronger than she wished it had been. She got up, regretted the absence of her staff, and hobbled on one leg to exit the hut. For a moment, she closed her eyes and leaned back to the door. It was late at night and it was blissfully quiet around. The cold air on her face felt good and cleared her mind of the fog left by the drink.
Inside, Ennaly felt a gnawing feeling she couldn't quite explain. Digging up old memories had left her feeling melancholic, and she couldn't shake them away. Varric and Dorian were dear to her, but they could never understand the life she led before with the Dalish. Dorian would always look at it with the glasses of a Tevinter, those that destroyed what the Elvhen once had been. He and Varric had their sympathies, sure, but they just could never truly relate.
When she opened her eyes, she noticed dim light shining through the curtains in Solas' hut, on the opposite side of the little square. That must mean that the mage was still awake. He was an Elf. Perhaps that's what she needed right now. Another perspective, or simply a face with familiar features.
In the dark, it was a lot harder to hobble on uneven ground. Unsteady, she found her way to his door and knocked.