DISCLAIMER: I do not own any part of Harry Potter! I only own my original plot and the OCs. I repeat, I do not own any part of Harry Potter
TRIGGER WARNING: CHILD ABUSE, ADDICTION, CHARACTER DEATH (later on), SUICIDE (later on). Do not read if you don't like.
The next night he left the house again. Part of him hoping to meet Helena and experience that silent comfort, and part of him just wanting to run away. Tonight was no longer clear starry skies but angry gray rain clouds hanging over his head. As he headed towards the playground the rain fell, faster and harder. Cold heavy raindrops pelted his bruised back but Severus continued walking. 'Anything to get away from that man who calls himself my father.' he thought bitterly. Upon reaching his destination, he saw a soaking wet Helena sitting under one of the roofs in the playground. The light smoke rising from the cigarette in her hand wafted in the air before being dragged down with the rain. Giving Severus a nod as greetings, she moved over to let him sit beside her.
"Cigarette today Severus?" Helena asked in a nonchalant tone of voice, offering one between the tips of her fingers and holding it out to him.
"Yes please," he said, taking hold of the offered cigarette in his cold trembling hand. "Was it that obvious I needed one?"
"Not at all actually, I can just tell better." she said while lighting it. "I'll warn you this time, it is so addictive."
He awkwardly held it up to his mouth and breathed the smoke in, internally bracing himself for the horrid taste of smoke. Although he tried not to, Severus still coughed violently and smoke was hacked out of his lungs. The corners of Hel's mouth twitched as she took a drag of her cigarette and let small wisps of smoke stream out of her mouth. Severus managed to still glare at her even when he was coughing his lungs out. It only served to make her smirk more. He straightened up to minimize the stretch on his scars and took a drag of the cigarette again. This time he took a much smaller drag, determined to feel that sweet release from his mind. Severus coughed once but let the smoke out in a stream that floated in the air. It was his turn to smirk, he was getting the hang of it. Now, they waited, watching the rain fall around them, lit dimly by the streetlamp. The smell of cigarettes was hanging in the air. They both twitched occasionally, Severus wincing at the nagging pain in his back and head. Sharp bursts of pain radiating from the back of his head made him close his eyes.
He hissed and suddenly dropped the cigarette. Putting it out with his foot, he looked down at his slightly burnt fingers. He had let it burn too long. Raspy giggles came from beside him and he once again glared at Hel. "It's not funny," Severus muttered. "You could have told me but you never have anyways."
"Exactly. You get it Sev," she said. "Plus I thought you knew not to let it burn you with the speed you put it out the first time." He just glared harder but didn't really care as the nicotine high hit him. The clear mind made him feel so relieved and almost happy. A sense where nothing in the world could bother him now. In the back of his head, the pain also disappeared and faded away. "Such a bliss isn't it?" Helena asked with a ghost of a smile on her face.
The sun peaked out of the horizon and they went their separate ways once more. Night after night they came to the playground. Many times it was Severus or Hel alone in the playground. Severus came to love the bliss of the nicotine and wished they met more often.
They met again and shared a smoke, laughing and smiling under the stars. Severus never thought he would feel the same happiness anywhere else. Days later without seeing Helena, he started to feel numb and cared nothing about his beatings or bullies. The only blissful moments smoking with Helena made him crave the acceptance and belonging he felt with her.
One night, shattered glass scattered all over his room. Throbbing pain rang out from his body and a sticky trail of blood from his head matted his long hair. 'Away. All I want is to get away. Far from this, far from this bastard that is no family of mine.' he thought. When he sat up and moved towards the window to escape to the playground, he suddenly felt faint. Crumpling to the ground, he looked back at the drying blood pooled under where he stood up from. Struggling to get up, his hand slipped and ran along the jagged glass, the skin ripping under his arm. Blood dripped down onto the floor and his vision blurred and darkened at the edges. Who would love you even if you ran away? You useless freak. A voice whispered to Severus. You can't even use your freakish powers. Useless freak. His eyes rolled back and all went black.