Truth

"Ennaly?" A curse. "Oh, Ennaly!"

A familiar voice woke her with a start. She jolted upwards but regained her balance as she was perched on a branch yards up in a tree, one leg dangling down. It was past sunrise already, and the sudden light felt like an attack on her senses.

She wiped the sleep out of her eyes, but still felt terrible. Last night, she had found this particular tree to rest in, but it had taken her hours before sleep could settle in. And when it had come, her dreams had been haunted, riddled with guilt.

Below the tree, she found Solas gazing up at her, relief clear on his face.

"What?" she said with an unsteady, hoarse voice. "I am here."

She jumped down the tree, landing close to Solas, the impact of the short fall hurting her head. She couldn't imagine that she looked anything better than dreadful. Somewhere during the events of the last night, she had lost her hairpin and her hair was loose along her face, pieces of bark and leaves stuck in it.

"I am so glad to see you are safe," Solas continued, his voice just a little bit hoarse, too. "We are all looking for you."

"Well, I have been here all night." She was annoyed, tired, and felt empty inside. Upon seeing Solas staring at her, she scoffed and folded her arms over each other, wiggling the fingers on her left hand. "Guess you found me because of this, is it?"

He took a step closer to her. "Yes, I did. Ennaly, we were all worried for you. This morning, that... Dalish Elf returned, alone. We assumed you had been... with him, but he said you had left him. So we went searching for you."

Ennaly felt a flush creep on her cheeks. "Right. Well, here I am. Healthy and unscathed."

Solas kept his eyes locked on hers, but his expression was impossible to read. "Anything could have happened. Wildlife, demons, bandits. You should not have left by yourself."

She averted her eyes, feeling herself shrink under his gaze. "I can take care of myself. And there are many things I should not have done, but did anyway."

"Ennaly –" Solas begged, stepping closer.

"I forgot," Ennaly said scathingly, unfurling her arms. "You're just here to make sure I'm not distracted from my duties, if I'm not mistaken." She raised her left hand. "Precious little Anchor needs her heroes for protection."

"Ennaly..."

Anger flared up in her body at hearing him say her name with so much emotion and she took an angry step closer. "No, I told you, you don't get to say my name like that anymore." The last words were stressed as she poked him in the chest with a finger. Every consecutive poke lessened the anger she felt, leaving a hollow feeling behind. She knew she was being unfair to him, but she felt so hurt that she wanted him to feel some hurt, too.

She stared at her own hand as her palm flattened against his chest, her fingers outstretched. The cloth of his tunic was warm as always and his heart beat rhythmically against her hand. Against her better judgment, she could feel herself leaning closer to him. She didn't want to leave.

Solas exhaled, moving her hand with his escaping breath. His voice was a little hushed as he spoke. "We should get back, now that I have found you."

"Yes," Ennaly replied, her voice quiet as well, her hand still on his chest. "We probably should."

Neither of them moved.

The sunlight shone softly through the trees, warm already in early morning, and the birds around them chirped happily. Everything was a stark contrast to how Ennaly felt inside. She looked up to Solas' face and found a tender, compassionate expression gazing down at her. A part of her wanted to lean in and kiss him, and for a moment, she thought he would let her.

"Right," a voice to their side said.

Startled, they both turned and saw Soran standing there, looking from one to the other, to Ennaly's hand on Solas' chest.

"I assumed you would be in this area after last night. Did you just use me to make him jealous, is that why you left?"

Ennaly stared at him aghast and took a few steps away from Solas, the hand that had been on his chest pulsing with his warmth, held high as if it committed a crime. "No, Soran, that is not –" she started.

"Really?" Soran interrupted. "Because I saw him looking at you last night. His jealousy was clear. And just now, he blamed me for doing… something to you." He scoffed. "Am I mistaken?"

She didn't reply, and instead kept staring at him. He didn't have the truth, and she opened her mouth to correct him, when she closed it again. The truth wasn't much better, and was certainly a lot more complicated.

Soran shook his head, and looked defeated at her lack of response. "Don't think I didn't catch you almost saying his name last night." He made an attempt to turn around and leave, but thought the better of it and faced her. "You could have just been honest, you know. I wouldn't have minded then, but now I just feel used."

That last word rang through the trees like the stab of a dagger and Ennaly could do nothing more than stare at him in horror.

"I am sorry," she managed to say.

"Well, that's something, at least," Soran replied bitterly. "I shouldn't be surprised, really. It's what they always say. Leave the bare-faced women to the bare-faced men. Is honesty that hard to come by?"

He looked up to Solas and a icy half-smile appeared on his lips. "Know what you're starting with. Clearly, she likes to lie. Or perhaps you're like that too. I don't know what flat-ears are like. Amazing tits, thought."

He averted his eyes, turned around, and disappeared between the trees, before any of them could reply.

Ennaly clasped a hand in front of an open mouth and stepped back, landing against the trunk of the tree she had slept in. A large tear rolled down her cheek.

Once, she had considered herself an honourable person, someone who valued the truth, but clearly, she was wrong about herself. Slowly, she began to lose grasp of her sense of self.

"I did use him," she stammered. "I didn't want him. We just... I didn't really..."

She wanted to explain to Solas that they hadn't really slept together, that they had just kissed, but what did it matter? Last night, she had come so close to actually sleeping with him, twice. But that last time, when she was staring at him from the edge of the clearing after meeting Solas, she had turned around, dressed, and continued walking until she had found this tree to sleep in.

"It is alright," Solas said, taking a step closer to her again.

"Is it?" she asked harshly, looking up to him. "You saw his reaction. He was hurt, and that was my doing. I hurt him like you hurt me. At least it keeps paying forwards." She closed her eyes briefly but opened them abruptly at remembering Soran's words. "I didn't try to make you jealous," she said without looking at Solas. "I just... foolishly thought he could fill a void. He wore my Vallaslin."

"Ennaly, I know..." he said soothingly.

She cast her eyes upwards. "Were you jealous?"

Solas looked at her, stoic as a statue. "It matters not what I feel."

"It matters to me!" she exclaimed. The absence of anger in him made hers flare up and she felt the storm inside her starting to roar. "I wish you would show emotion, just once! Shout at me, berate me, anything but this stoic treatment!"

It was unfair of her, and she knew it. She'd seen enough emotion from him, but right now, she wanted him to yell at her, to accuse her.

"I am not angry at you, Ennaly."

Her eyes met his again, sorrow, regret and compassion visible in them. "Then what? You must feel something!"

"Of course I feel something," he said with some urgency in his tone. He moved his hands, almost as if he was going to touch her, grab her hand or anything, yet decided against it. "But whatever I feel, I do not blame you for anything."

But she wanted him to, and her storm was still raging. "You don't even blame me for lying? Because I started lying the moment we met those Elves. What could I have said? They wouldn't have believed the truth, and so I lied. Blame me for that, at least."

"I cannot. It was an impossible situation."

At the word impossible, her storm quelled. Too many impossible things turned out to be possible. But this was Solas, her Solas, and in the wake of her storm she felt a new kind of tension growing inside her. "Impossible... Yes, like everything else this last year," she muttered and tilted her face upwards to look him in the eye. Something had broken through his stoic façade, but she couldn't quite name it. "But you never told me lies."

"I do not believe I have."

The tension inside her grew, almost closing off her throat. She felt like this was the moment, she had to know. She took a step closer to Solas, gazing sharply into his eyes to study any reaction from him. "Then tell me, how old are you?"

He didn't flinch, he didn't alter his expression. Clearly, the question didn't surprise him, or he was very capable of hiding it. "Are you certain you want the answer?"

That was almost a confession already.

She cursed. "Yes, Solas, I want this answer. I think I deserve the truth."

He kept her gaze, his expression neutral. "I do not know how old I am."

Her eyes pleaded with him, confused by his answer. "You do not know how old you are?" she asked in disbelief.

"In the beginning, time flowed ever-lasting. Nothing perished and there was no reason to keep track of time, no method to do so if one wished. That changed, eventually. By this time, at least several thousand years have passed."

Ennaly just stood there, unsure if she was perfectly still or trembling, unsure if she had taken a step back or if Solas had. The answer wasn't a surprise to her. She had known it since the Temple of Mythal, yet even so, the revelation felt like another incomprehensible truth.

What did it mean, really?

She found herself turned around without memory of doing so and felt like the equilibrium of the world had shifted, like the air inside her lungs and outside were foreign to each other, incompatible, like she wasn't adapting alongside a changing environment. But a few breaths later she felt strangely calm again.

She spun around to find Solas exactly where she had left him, his eyes following her around. She had once deemed him immutable, but only now did she realise the extent of it.

"Solas... Why did you not tell me this sooner?" she pleaded.

He took a second to answer. "Would you have believed me?"

She took a step closer, just a foot of distance between them now, close enough to touch without effort if they wanted. "Solas, I loved you. I would have had you trust me." She wanted to turn around again, but his hand brushed against hers, involuntary or not, and instantly, she halted to meet his eyes again. "I knew ever since we met Abelas and left the Temple. I almost thought that was what you wanted to tell me when we were in the ruined garden."

Pride shone through in Solas' weak smile. "Of course you figured it out. You are smart, you have always been." The pride left and his smile turned wistful. "I had wanted to tell you."

"Then why didn't you?" she begged. "You could have helped me understand, but now it's just... I could have been there for you. Do you honestly think I wouldn't have?"

He stood without moving. "Then you would have carried the same burden I did. You already carry too many burdens."

"Solas..." she placed her left hand on his chest, the hand carrying the Anchor, her burden. "You helped me lessen my burdens. I could have helped lessen yours."

She leaned her head against his chest, eyes closed, and just stood there for a few breaths. Even after this knowledge, he still felt the same, and she had missed him more than she had thought possible. A few seconds later, he lifted an arm and settled his hand in the small of her back, pressing her against him ever so slightly.

As they stood there, she slowly allowed herself to process this truth. Even if she had known it before, she had always dismissed it, and never quite allowed herself to explore the full meanings. She had always seen it from his side, his age, without ever realising...

He was immutable by time, but she wasn't.

After a shuddering breath, she leaned back and sought his gaze. "My life must be like a seasonal blossom to you, blooming and withering in a month, while your life endures ever-lasting, eternal. Is that what I was? A flower to be picked?"

"No," Solas replied, his voice now clear and resolute. He removed his arm from her back and trailed it tenderly along her cheek, before he dropped it to his side. "You must understand... I lay in dark and dreaming sleep while countless wars and ages passed. I woke still weak a year before I joined you. And when I did, I found that everything had changed. The passing of time had quickened. Actions that once spanned seasons were rushed into minutes. The flow of time has adjusted itself to the lives of the current people."

She frowned as she lifted her hand, uncertain what she wanted to do, and dropped it again. "You woke still weak? You're the most powerful mage I know. You can do things no one else can."

His smile gained a hint of bitterness. "You have not seen what I once could."

A faint darkness passed over his expression, a hint of the power he might have once possessed. Ennaly had only seen it once before, that night in the Dales after they shared their very first dream.

Everything started to fall into place. He always carried a little bit of sadness, hidden away at times, but always close to the surface, and now she knew why. He woke up in a world where everything he knew had crumbled, where most of the world he knew was twisted memories by Elves that wrongfully remembered the past.

"Is that what you fell in love with?" she asked. "My powers, the memories of the ancient ways?"

Solas made a move as if to grab her hand, but seemed to reconsider at the last minute. "Is that what you think of me?" He cast his eyes downwards, but smiled as he met her eyes again. "I fell in love with your heart. Your power is just a little part of you. It helped me see everything else."

She took another shuddering breath and looked up at the canopy of leaves above her, imagining how many times Solas would have seen them turn from green to orange, fall down, and then regrow again.

His greatest fear was dying alone, and she understood now what that alone meant. If he only woke a year ago after ages of slumber, he had woken to find that everything had changed, and she couldn't imagine anything that sounded lonelier than that.

A small tear trickled down Ennaly's cheek. "I could have consoled you. You consoled me so many times. I could have been there for you, too, you know. I would have, I wanted to."

"I know." Another mournful smile.

But that sorrowful acceptance just angered her more. He'd known she could have consoled him, and yet he never allowed her to really do so, to explain how he really felt? That night in the Dales when he clung to her, it must have been because of her story and problems he must have never encountered before, Humans, Templars... The hardships of her life were foreign to him.

Agitated, she turned around, too frustrated to face him. "Then why didn't you let me!"

Solas grabbed her hand this time, preventing her from stepping away. She found herself unable to hold back her tears and pounded against his chest, frustrated and helpless by everything. He recoiled a little, but took it, and supported her arms as her sobs slowly subsided. During her pounding, her right hand had become entangled with the leather strap of his jawbone amulet, but she paid it no mind. The streaks of tears decorated her bare cheeks.

"But you did," he whispered tenderly. "Ennaly, you consoled me more than I can admit." He gently stroked her hair as her sobs quieted, and gently tucked a few stray strands of hair behind her ear. "You meant more than I can admit. I... wanted to keep my distance from you, knowing that I could not tell you... So I told myself I would never give in to desire. Desire, I could endure."

"Not that one night," Ennaly said sulkily, remembering him pinning her to a tree after she had mistaken him for a desire demon in their first shared dream.

Despite everything, a chuckle escaped him. "No, not that night." He sighed, and it was almost happy. "I told myself that I wouldn't do that again, not before I was sure that..."

His next line lingered in the air, hesitant to speak out loud, when Ennaly tilted her head upwards again. "That you loved me?"

"That I loved you." His voice was quiet, almost a figment of her imagination as his hand came to rest on the nape of her neck.

A sharp pain coursed through her right palm and Ennaly gasped. In a reflex, she jerked her hand back and a soft snap entered her ears. The leather cord that held Solas' jawbone amulet broke at her sudden movement, after she had clutched it so tightly, the teeth cut her skin. The paleness of her palm, the darkness of the bone, and the vibrant red of her blood made a beautiful contrast together.

But it was also a stark reminder of her own mortality.

Certainly, Solas bled just as she bled, but eventually, age would catch up on her, while Solas was frozen in his appearance.

"It - it isn't fair," she said with a wavering voice. "I - I'll die. I'll grow old, wrinkled and grey, and you will stay the same. There's no cure for age, is there?"

"Ennaly..." Solas's voice soothed her as he took her hand and healed the cut.

She watched the light green magic flow from his hand to knit back together her skin, warm and pleasant, softly tingling like a tender caress. She flexed her fingers, but the wound was nothing more than a memory. His magic, like always, was strong.

But it wasn't his magic she had fallen in love with. Rather, she could boil it down to a moment. The spark started when he had complimented her eyes, called them beautiful, after which she began to see him in a different light. But it was his calm, his wisdom, the pool of hidden emotion, his unexpected cheek, even his sadness, that she had fallen in love with. And of course, that moment had been in a dream.

With bated breath, she raised her hand and traced it gently along his jawline. "You never told me you didn't love me anymore," she whispered. "I - I still love you."

Solas gently took her hand away from his face and kissed it tenderly. "Ennaly. You understand now, do you not? My love for you has never faded, but..."

A renewed tear ran down her cheek at his unsaid words. Solas wiped it away, and his lingered on her skin. His eyes carried this look of tenderness, of devotion, and if only he had been able to steel himself and mask his emotions, then she wouldn't have…

Hesitantly, she wrapped her arms around his shoulder. As an almost thoughtless response, he pulled her closer to him with his free hand. She swallowed. It felt so good to have their bodies touching, to feel his warmth, his scent. "Why not live in this dream a little longer?" she pleaded quietly. "Just until this all is over."

Moments of silence passed, and Ennaly thought he would pull away. But then... The breath of his words touched her lips before he leaned down to kiss her. "I am so sorry," he replied remorsefully.

For a moment, just a short moment, everything seemed alright again, the air in her lungs in harmony with their surroundings, Solas' heart beating in a rhythm with hers, and just then, the dissonant tones of reality fell into a beautiful harmony.

"You will be sorry!" a voice sounded.

The kiss only lasted a second before it shattered, before they leaned away. Solas' hand lingered on Ennaly's face, still tear-streaked, as they turned their head to the source of the sound.

Standing between the trees to their left were Dorian and Bull, Dorian's face twisted in anger. "Haven't you hurt her enough?"

"That's crossing a line," Bull grumbled behind him.

Solas took a step backwards and the touch between them broke. There was a slight frown on his face, but his voice was emotionless as he threw his façade back up again. "I never meant to hurt her."

"Perhaps you should have thought about that before you kissed her," Dorian said with disdain, taking a step into the little clearing.

"Dorian!" Ennaly exclaimed in desperation. "That's unfair, I kissed him too. Don't blame him for shared actions."

Dorian's gaze shifted to a spot on Solas' tunic and the pitch in his voice raised. "Is that blood?" he asked, pointing at Solas.

Ennaly followed his finger to find a red mark on Solas' tunic, over his heart. It must have been her blood, from when the jawbone cut her palm. She glanced down at her right hand, and found it empty. She was no longer holding the amulet, but she didn't know what she had done with it. Had she dropped it? It wasn't anywhere near her feet. "It's my blood," she explained. I'm fine."

"What hurt you?" Dorian asked as he took a second step into the clearing.

"It doesn't matter, I'm fine," she muttered. She glanced up at Solas, wanting his comfort, but his expression was hidden behind his stoic mask. He was too far away, and she wanted to touch him, feel him against her like just now. But as she took a step closer to him, he took a step back, keeping his distance.

Something inside Ennaly broke as she realised that he wouldn't give her the comfort she wanted. "Solas?" she begged. His mask started to break, showing regret and sorrow through the cracks. Yet, when she took a step closer, he took another one back. Desperation started to flood her as she realised that he would deny her what she needed. "Solas?" It was almost a silent plea.

But he gave no answer, and the Anchor on her hand began to ache.

"No, Ennaly," Dorian continued, his gaze serious. "Don't defend him. He's just taking advantage of you now."

A dark shadow passed over Solas, and finally, the mask broke fully. "No," he replied, his eyes on Dorian now. "I would never."

"Dorian, it wasn't like that!" Ennaly exclaimed. Reality swam before her eyes. Solas didn't deserve Dorian's wrath, not when she was just as complicit. A dizziness overtook her as the Anchor flared again, seeming to push and pull at the world around her.

Dorian looked at her with a glimmer of compassion. "Ennaly," he said, his face serious. "You're too compassionate. This is not on you. This is on him. He's just jealous because of that Dalish Elf. I could see it yesterday when you were dancing, and then this morning. His pride –"

While Dorian was talking, Ennaly turned back to Solas. Dorian didn't know of his age, didn't understand what had happened. Nobody really understood Solas the way she did, or had seen the different aspects of his character like her. She felt helpless, insignificant as she gazed at Solas and understood that she didn't have the words to explain what she had learned. For all she cared, nobody else had to know the truth about what he really was, not if he didn't want to tell them. This was his secret to share.

A new tear trickled down her face as the skies above them turned dark.

Solas turned away from her. "Dorian," he stressed, interrupting him, the dark shadow extending beyond him. "You do not understand what is –"

"I understand very well what is going on here," Dorian cut in heatedly. "You ended things, and you broke her heart, not the other way around. She's vulnerable, she's crying. You either should not have kissed her, or you should not have let her kiss you. It's really not that hard to understand."

Ennaly's tears were streaming down her face. "Dorian, no! You don't know what happened," she cried.

Bull took a step forward in the clearing. "But I know," he offered. "I have a pretty good theory on what's been going on."

Ennaly glanced at him. Had he figured it out, like she had done? Bull was perceptive and much more capable of reading people than she was. He had been at the temple. Perhaps that was all he had needed to figure out the truth.

Swallowing a sob, she turned and took a step in Solas' direction. Again, he took another step back. "Solas?" she pleaded again.

"Ennaly..." he said soothingly. But the expression in his eyes told her that he was set in his determination to distance himself. "It is better this way. You shall see."

From the skies behind Ennaly, a bolt of lightning crashed down in the trees behind her, the thunder rumbling in their ears. "But..." she tried, deaf to the magical disturbance in the air. She felt as if her stability was ripped away and she was unsteady, having a hard time regaining balance.

Dorian seemed oblivious to Bull's remark. It was clear, however, that Bull hadn't voiced his revelations to him. "Ennaly, you don't need to defend him. He knows what he did was wrong." Whispers seemed to press against the Veil around Dorian as he turned to Solas, fading the edges of his figure. "Don't you? You know nothing should have happened here."

"I am sorry," Solas replied. The area around him turned as frozen and constant as him, a stillness in the clearing.

Bull shifted around uncomfortably. "Uhm, are you all noticing this?" he asked, glancing around. "Perhaps we should all calm down before shit turns creepy."

But the three mages ignored him. "Sorry?" Dorian scoffed. "Well, there you have it. Such an easy thing to say. She deserves a better man who won't hurt her."

Lightning once again crashed into a tree behind Ennaly, and a branch came falling down.

"I agree," Solas said.

"Solas!" Ennaly cried, her fists clenched in her feeling of helplessness. More thunder flared behind her as her Anchor spiked brightly.

"We really should calm down," Bull commented while grabbing his axe. The whispers surrounding Dorian seemed to lick around him, too, but the mages were still deaf to him.

"Well then, don't you ever touch her again," Dorian spat at Solas. "If you do, I swear I will hurt you."

Solas looked at Ennaly. "You must understand now. It is for the best. I am sorry, vhenan, I..." The word seemed to slip from his lips without his intend, surprising himself into silence. In his emotions, the grass around him turned white in frost. He looked at her, shook his head once more, and turned around. The frozen blades of grass crackled mournfully under his feet as he walked away.

Helplessly rooted to her spot, Ennaly watched as he disappeared from her sight.

The Anchor on her hand fell silent. It was a strange sensation. It always tickled softly, and the absence of any feeling was almost worrisome. But without its influence, the frost melted away, the whispers turned to silence, and the electric tension in the air dissolved like a dying storm.

Ennaly fell to her knees, her cry of heartache silent, as a soft drizzle of rain began falling down.

Bull and Dorian shared a look and nodded. Bull holstered his axe and followed the direction Solas had taken and Dorian turned to Ennaly. He kneeled down and wrapped his arms around her, letting her cry on his shoulder.

It was unfair. Everything was unfair.

"Oh, Ennaly," Dorian said, gently rocking her back and forth while stroking her hair. "I've got you, okay? You're not alone."

But those words only made her cry harder. Alone. Like Solas was alone. "You don't understand," she sobbed.

"I understand enough," he reassured her softly. "You didn't see... but Solas was definitely jealous of that Dalish Elf. You didn't see how he walked away yesterday after you started to dance rather close to our Elven friend, or how he accused him this morning when you didn't return with him."

"Soran," Ennaly said, feeling like he deserved to be called by his name. "I didn't actually sleep with him, you know. We just... kissed and fondled a bit."

Dorian chuckled softly at her begrudging tone. "Oh, Ennaly, you are hopeless."

Her voice turned quiet again. "He... saw us this morning. Me and Solas, standing close. He... Thought I used him."

There was another small chuckle, but a compassionate one. "Well, I think he was into you."

"I did use him, thought," Ennaly continued. "It was foolish. He couldn't fill this void. I don't think I ever really hurt anyone like this before."

Dorian started to pick some of the pieces of bark from her hair. "He was likely just disappointed and acted out."

Ennaly shook him away, annoyed now. "Dorian! I'm no saint. I made a mistake. I hurt him, alright. You didn't see the expression on his face."

"Alright," Dorian said, his voice soothing as he edged closer back to Ennaly. "I'll accept that. But we are all people... And we all make mistakes. I've done some things in my past I'm not particularly proud of. You don't have to deny your mistakes, as long as you learn from them. Try and do better next time. We both know you cannot turn back time, right?" He flashed a hesitant smile.

She sniffled. "Not unless you want to experience a future that's worse. This one already seems pretty bleak."

The drizzle around them died down, making place for a hesitant sun. Dorian squeezed her hand. "Things will get better, you know. Mark my words, in a few months everything is better and you've forgotten all about him."

"I doubt it," Ennaly said sadly. Her past life, from before the Inquisition, was gone. There was nothing to return to. What would she do when they had finally achieved their goal and defeated Corypheus? Besides, he was the only one who could calm down the Anchor. "Well, let's focus on our immediate goals first, and prevent the world from becoming as bad as whatever we experienced in Redcliffe." She sighed. "Only the both of us have ever seen the true extent of it. Well, let's go. We still have a dragon to tame."

"Well spoken!" Dorian said, and Ennaly wanted to rise, when Dorian grabbed her arm and prevented her. "Though... Not like that, dear. Let me fix your hair."

Compliantly, Ennaly sat back down, allowing Dorian to clear the dirt from her hair, comb it with a small comb he carried in his pocket, and braid it into neat braids to keep out of her face during travel.

"There you are, back to your beautiful self!" he declared when he was done. "That little pout only makes you more attractive."

Ennaly managed a faint smile. "Thanks, Dorian."

They both rose and Ennaly noticed something odd in her pocket. She took it out and held it in her hand, both palms facing up. In her left, the Anchor shone dully, barely emitting any light. In the right, was Solas' wolven jawbone amulet.

She frowned. She had a feeling of significance, a sudden heavy sensation in her stomach.

"Is that his?" Dorian asked indignantly when he saw the amulet. "Toss it, Ennaly, you don't need it."

"No," Ennaly said, disturbed from her musings. She clutched the amulet like it gave her power and looked up to Dorian. "Even if it is painful, it won't do to forget the past."

He sighed, defeated. "Just make sure it doesn't consume you."

"Don't worry, I won't let it," she said. She tied the broken ends of the leather cord at her belt as Dorian shot her a concerned look. When she was done, they started their way back to camp, realising they had taken their sweet time talking and fixing her hair.

Everybody was present already as they finally made it back. Varric and Cassandra looked up with concern and Dorian made a gesture that all was fine. Bull and Solas were sitting to the side, their gaze almost turned inwards, as they shot phrases back and forth, seemingly deeply concentrated.

"What are they doing?" Dorian asked with a frown, as if Bull was committing a crime in talking to Solas.

"They can see it in their mind," Cole replied. "White-and-black figures running over white-and-black tiles." He turned around to look at the two. "Solas just sacrificed the white queen. Bull realises he was baited. Solas wins."

Ennaly stared unseen at a spot on the ground. Solas just sacrificed the white queen, did he? She once likened herself to the white queen, what felt like ages ago. She could have cried, but swallowed the lump in her throat on time.

Cole turned back to her. "Oh. I didn't mean... He didn't mean –"

"Cole, it's okay," Ennaly said, not wanting to hear him trying to analyse anyone's feelings at the moment.

She understood. Solas and she couldn't be together. But knowing that didn't stop the feelings she felt for him. Not yet. If anything, knowing that Solas still felt some of the same feelings, too, only awoke them again.

But it couldn't be. Sometimes, love wasn't enough.

And yet he'd called her vhenan again.

She saw Solas looking up at her, and saw him noticing his amulet at her belt. Something in her told her she needed to return it to him. It had been a promise, he'd told her. To stand up for those who couldn't stand up for themselves. She had made a similar promise with her sylvanwood ring. Why were both effigies of a wolf?

Solas had years, literal ages, to live by that promise, and would do so long after she had died. He had one of her bracelets, and now she had his amulet. She could give it back, later. Right now, she needed it for strength.

"Come," she said resolutely, turning away from Solas. "Let's tame this dragon."