Note:
As promised, here is chapter one!
Thank you so much to Lils and Jarek for the research help!
(This chapter is not edited, nor proofread. 1/23/24)
See end notes for detailed explanations and comments on changes made from the original.
part I: palingenesis
chapter one: the offer
Her feet are in pain. The constant running, the constant pounding against the cobblestone flooring is beginning to take its toll on her. But she knows not why she's in such a rush, why it feels imperative to hurry.
The halls are dark. What would be chasm of darkness are lit only by the flames of the torches attached to the walls. Her shadow chases after her as desperation claws itself deeper into her skin, wanting to draw blood, feeding on her panic.
Suddenly, the pounding comes to an abrupt halt. The earth beneath her begins to shake.
An explosion rips through the space, threatening to burst her eardrums, yet she does not run the other direction. She stays in place.
"What was that?" A blond man appears, not looking as alarmed as someone should when a blast is a small distance away.
Another man comes up, his brown eyes set in concentration. "That's Sai's chakra."
"And it's up ahead." She hears herself saying.
Who are these people?
They all run towards the epicenter, the sounds of their dashes echoing through the halls.
They are so close!
Where is this urgency coming from? What is she doing here? Who is she looking for? She finds herself questioning her own subconscious mind.
Her thoughts whisper to her, urging her to go faster, assuring her that he's there. And while, she's mystified, she can't argue against the mutterings. Somewhere, deep inside her, she feels it. His presence.
But who is he?
She's momentarily sidetracked, however, seeing a pale skinned man at the end of the path where part of the hideout has been blown into a crater. He's staring up at something. Someone.
But before she could think, anger rises from her throat, her teeth clenching at the mere sight of him.
He is supposed to be on their side. The new addition to their team, and though she was optimistic at first, he had gone behind their backs to please whoever it is he is truly under. And that betrayal cuts deep.
But how do I know this? I have never met this man before. What team?
She doesn't even attempt to stop herself. It would be no use. She has no control. It's as if she's a bystander, watching her fury get the best of her from within her own body. She feels everything, hears thoughts that could only be her own yet are not. All she can do is watch. As she has multiple times before.
"Sakura!" One of the men yells out, his hand outstretched as if reaching for her.
She runs fast, rapidly reaching the man at the middle of the crater and roughly grabbing him by his collar. Her fingers, though covered by gloves, grazes his skin, the sheer strength of her grasp causing his head to pull back.
The strength is unfamiliar to her.
"Alright, enough! Tell us what you're really up to! How many times were you going to betray us before you-"
"Sakura."
Her heart stops, her eyes widening in complete shock and her chest tightening at the mere sound of his voice.
She has seen this play out so many times, yet every single time his voice emerges, the feeling never changes. That deep, heavy sensation in her chest that portends to rip her heart out. It's an intense reaction, one she cannot comprehend her ever experiencing in real life. But it feels too real. It always feels too real.
Her name sounds like a command, an order to stay still, an order to acknowledge him.
Even to this day, even with all that had transpired, he still rouses such emotions from her.
But what happened? Her feeble attempts to make sense of it all are never successful, though. Constantly forced to watch, constantly forced to feel, yet she can never fully understand the true severity of the scene unfolding in front of her.
She's surmised some things though. She hasn't seen this man in years. Yet despite the years between them, her mind tells her his way of speaking is the same. No greetings, no small talk, he's always straight to the point. And even with just a simple call to her, her name upon his lips, she thinks deep down perhaps he hasn't changed. But his goal remains, and to achieve it, some things must have been sacrificed.
She turns her head, her hand loosening the fierce grip she had on the stranger's collar as reality sank in.
After years of his absence, their eyes finally meet.
And with the sight of him came all the pain rushing to her in one blow, causing her chest to ache with the sudden onslaught of conflicting emotions crashing into her. She is happy to see him again but hurt to see who he became. She's glad that after all these years, he's okay but still upset that he left.
Why did he leave? Why do I care so much?
She's angry at him. She's sad for him. She's all that and more towards herself for not being able to stop him the night he left. But despite all of that, she knows that with his mind made up, there was never a chance she could have stopped him.
His hair is longer, though the familiar way some of it stuck up in the back was still present. His white top was open, closed by the time it reached above his waist by a purple rope used as a makeshift belt that allowed him to secure a katana by his back.
He looks grown-up. He looks empty. He feels dangerous.
Emerald green finds itself hypnotized by the black onyx irises she knew so well. In that brief moment, she searches for something, something that will give her great relief if it remains within him, something that could tell her that there is a chance for him to return.
She stares straight into his eyes and, right there, hidden from view, she feels that a part of the boy she knew lingers.
She feels her heart begin to beat again, the moment her eyes found his felt like it had lasted a lifetime, yet it could not have lasted more than a second. She's searching for a sign, a chance that things could change. And somehow, she finds it. That alone made their reunion less painful.
There's hope, however small it is.
"It really is you." The words come out as a whisper, soft, in awe, and yet, also in fear. "Sasuke-kun."
Who are you?
Sakura jerks awake, heart pounding as beads of sweat rolled from her forehead down to her cheeks. She places a hand on her chest, feeling the vibrations of her rapidly beating heart as she wills herself to calm down.
She's had this dream before, but as of late, it's been a nightly occurrence. She shouldn't be waking up like this. She shouldn't be so affected by a dream. She knows what happens. She knows the faces that appear. She's memorized his face by now. Yet she still feels the effects of what her imagination has conjured.
Her breath is labored, as if she had run that distance. Her muscles are sore, her limbs tired. The soles of her feet ache. But all of this, she can handle. It's the trembling, she cannot.
Rays of sunlight filter through the blinds covering her window. Her eyes trace the lines of light on her ceiling as she urges herself to come back to reality. Leaning her back onto the bed frame, she lets out one long, deep sigh.
She's seen their faces so many times and can only name two. But of the two, it's Sasuke that she can't stop thinking about. A man borne from her own mind. A man that doesn't exist. Yet, every single emotion in that dream was so visceral.
These odd dreams are nothing new, the first one she remembers having when she was four. At first, they came sporadically. The dreams would come every other month, or there would be a long stretch of time before another one would hit. But by the time she turned 12, they began appearing more frequently. And for the past month, it's been every night.
The dreams used to be flashes of images. One moment, she would see herself saving lives in a war-torn battlefield, then out of nowhere, as if it's a quick scene transition in a movie, she would see a younger version of herself in class surrounded by faces that were vaguely familiar but didn't have much of a lasting impression on her.
She didn't hear voices. She didn't feel pain. They were just dreams.
Until a month ago when this specific one began haunting her. Suddenly, she could hear their voices. Suddenly, she was no longer viewing it from the sidelines, but experiencing it, feeling every movement, every emotion.
She never knew just staring at someone straight in the eyes would cause such an effect on her. The way he looked at her was almost painful. She saw the recognition in his eyes, but the way they looked blank, empty, feels foreign.
He isn't real, she reminds herself. He isn't real.
She has half a mind to get checked, but aside from the dreams, nothing else has changed in her life.
That's if she doesn't count the mysterious offer she received from the dean of her medical school. The offer isn't from the dean, though. The dean was asked to extend the offer to her, much to his confusion and hers.
She has already made the dean's list, and he commended her for her part in the research she participated in when she was an undergrad. But still, a fellowship? Who in their right mind would offer a clinical fellowship to a medical student? And who had enough notoriety for the dean to actually go through and send the offer?
One mystery after another, it seems.
Maybe the stress and anxiety over the offer meeting later has finally gotten to her. Has her mind resorted to such fantastical scenarios to shift her mind from work and school to something unbelievable and add some excitement in her otherwise work-filled life?
She shakes her head.
Or maybe the stress is making me delusional. She thinks, blaming her odd internal escapades to the recent extra work she put herself through.
Glancing at the clock on her bedside table, she sees that it's about time to get ready to depart. Stretching her arms above her head and giving out a sound of satisfaction as she felt her body start to wake, she leaves her bed.
Her room is small, but it's enough for a twenty-four-year-old med student on a budget. She found the one-bedroom apartment near her university and thought its location was perfect and the price doable. She doesn't need anything fancy, nor could she afford it. Plus, she's only ever in her apartment to sleep, eat, and shower. The rest of her time is spent on campus. Whether it was in the research lab, the library, or in a classroom, most of her days are focused on doing everything she could to prove her worth, especially with this once in a lifetime offer.
From the beginning, she knew medicine was the right fit for her. Ever since she was a child, her heart was always set out on being a doctor. Her parents are wholeheartedly with her on her aspirations in life, especially since the pay for such a job was great, and her determined nature is a great fit for such a taxing occupation.
The price for her education was the only thing standing in her way, which was why she dedicated so much of her high school years working part-time and trying to get all the scholarships she could get before graduating.
All of that to see herself end up where she is now.
Enough overthinking, Sakura. There's no use dwelling on a dream. That's all it is. It isn't real.
Sakura turns the TV on as she makes her way to the bathroom, hearing the voices of the morning news anchors drift into the bathroom. Staring at herself in the mirror, she touches a strand of her oddly colored hair.
"The International Business Awards was held in Singapore last night," the female news anchor's voice reverberates throughout the apartment. "Men and women at the top of their fields were present for the ceremony, including the night's biggest winner, Itachi Uchiha."
"Right this way."
Sakura follows the receptionist through the floor's busy waiting area and past the double doors that lead towards a few offices. Walking past them, finally they reach a small conference room.
Perhaps she should have expected the more corporate feeling this is emanating. They did require her to sign an NDA prior to accepting the meeting. But NDAs are not uncommon in research fellowships. It's only common sense to want confidentiality during medical research.
No, I'm just in unfamiliar territory.
There are only two other people in the room. Two men in suits on the opposite side of the table. They both regard her curiously, no doubt scrutinizing her because of her youth.
Brushing off her nerves, she smiles.
"This is Ms. Sakura Haruno," the receptionist says.
It looks as if one of them wants to comment on something but decides not to. Instead, he dismisses the receptionist, and she leaves, the door closing softly behind her.
Okay, that's a little scary.
Sakura takes her seat, and men in suits stand, not even bothering to introduce themselves.
"Before we begin with the basis of this meeting, we must reiterate that confidentiality is of utmost importance."
She nods. "Yes, I understand."
"We have your signed agreement here, however, with the request of our client, we will need another document signed upon the end of the meeting should you accept the offer."
"Oh," is all she can say.
The other man walks towards her, tablet in hand, and places it in front of her, propped up by its case. There's nothing on the screen but a name and a call button. "Once you are ready, begin the call."
"We will be outside by the door."
"You're not sitting in on it?" Trepidation mounts in her chest.
"As requested by the client, we are not to be part of this conversation."
The two men leave the room, the door closing with a click in a tell-tale sign it's been locked.
This is unusual. She didn't think a meeting regarding a clinical fellowship would need this much secrecy. But she doesn't know what goes on during these kind of things to begin with. This is her first fellowship offer, a very rare opportunity for someone who has yet to complete medical school. Which begs the question, why her? Who recommended her?
As nervous as she is, she had made up her mind when she agreed to the meeting. Her curiosity battled her anxiety and won. She may as well get answers now that she is here. And if she ultimately decides not to accept, then there is no harm.
Right?
With a deep breath, she presses the call button and waits as the screen morphs. Her face stares back at her as the call connects, and she does her best to appear as confident as she could.
Two seconds. Three. The wait is short, but the few seconds eat at her.
Come on, Sakura. You can do this.
The ringing stops, most of the screen shows three dots, her visage now relegated to smaller box in the corner. And when the three dots disappear, the face that stares back at her makes her stomach drop.
Scrutinizing brown eyes, blonde hair framing her face, and the infamous purple diamond tattoo in the middle of her forehead.
Tsunade Senju.
She's on a call with Tsunade Senju.
She is a legend in the field. Perhaps one of the most renowned living medical scientists in the world, she's won multiple awards particularly due to her discoveries in antimalarial drug treatments.
Sakura has always seen her as an inspiration. The reason she decided to aim to become a physician scientist is because of the doctor. She wants to deliver patient care through research for patients while continuing to seek new knowledge.
From the moment she had first heard of the woman, she has been drawn to her. Her renown in the medical field and her reputation of being a tough woman are things she strived to achieve as well. But there's something. Sakura doesn't know what to call it, but it's as if she has always known the woman, as if she sees certain aspects of the doctor within herself.
She laughs about it at times, her weird parasocial tendencies towards Doctor Senju. But to think that eventually she'd actually be face to face, albeit virtually, with her was unthinkable. If only her past self could see this situation now.
"Sakura Haruno?"
Wordlessly, she nods, still stunned.
"I am Doctor Tsunade Senju."
As if I don't know who you are! Her thoughts scream.
"I trust that you are the only one present within hearing distance, correct?"
"Yes." Sakura finds her voice. "It's an honor to speak with you!"
The older woman smirks briefly at her jubilance but quickly shifts back to seriousness. "I trust that you have read over my offer letter thoroughly."
"Yes, doctor. It's truly an honor to be offered a fellowship from you."
"I assume it came as a surprise."
"You assume correctly," she replies. As starstruck as she is, her mental acquisitiveness cannot be surprised for long, especially now that she is aware of just who extended the offer. "It's relatively unheard of to offer a clinical fellowship to someone who still working on her MD."
Tsunade catches her underlying question. "That's true, but I highly doubt this is the first time. Besides, it's also not every day that a close colleague recommends a student. Let alone, a promising one."
"A colleague?"
"You were in pre-med when you were credited as a co-author on Villanueva's research on sepsis." Tsunade leans back on her chair, arms folded. "That's impressive, but to be published in the Annals of all places is a feat. Most research done by pre-med students are hot garbage, so to do any meaningful research and get published is just as rare as a student receiving an offer like this, don't you think?"
"Well, when you put it that way…"
"Be more confident, Haruno. You've gone above and beyond as a student from what I've seen. This field is filled with egotistical assholes, so there's a considerable amount of bullshit you're going to have to deal with."
That, she knows. Even in school, some professors are as she describes.
Sakura nods. "Yes, doctor."
It's as if the doctor wants to laugh. "You always this serious, kid?"
"Well, considering the circumstances, shouldn't I be?" She challenges. "I still don't know the details about this offer aside from the fact that it's a confidential infectious disease research fellowship."
"Already taking my advice. Good." She's impressed. "Very well. Once again, it's imperative to repeat that this is confidential information as this research and what it pertains to is still not public knowledge and only very few people are aware of it."
Tsunade looks like she is pressing something and, on the screen, appears a third box, a photo of the map of Japan.
"An emerging infectious disease is presenting a continuing risk to the health of the people within a small mountain village in Hokkaido. The local government had requested aid and upon initial tests, this disease has similarities in symptoms of sepsis and pneumonia; however, it cannot be identified as such yet seeing as the CT scans, thermal scans, and ultrasounds done on now comatose villagers all look normal."
The map is gone, replaced by example scans and test results. Sakura looks closer. "Positive urine drips for sepsis… Are the patients still alive?"
Tsunade nods. "Sepsis kills fast, and considering the organ failures many of the patients in critical care currently have, they should be dead. But that's not the case, and they're holding on for longer than anything I'd ever witnessed. This could be something like sepsis, but instead is more of a symptom than the main cause."
Sakura's previous apprehension has faded, replaced by intense curiosity at the prospect of something as life-threatening as sepsis possibly having mutated. "That's why you sought me out?"
"You've done your research on sepsis. Your participation would be valuable."
"But I was co-author. Have you reached out to Dr. Villanueva?"
"Let's just say Villanueva and I do not get along."
"That hasn't stopped doctors and researchers from working together before."
She shrugs. "He refused."
So she did reach out. "Was he the one who recommended me?"
"Surprisingly, no."
"Who was it?"
"Someone I trust implicitly."
"You're not going to tell me?"
"When you officially accept the offer, you'll get to meet her."
'When', not 'if'.
The confidence she exudes, it's as if the doctor knows the inner workings of her mind because despite her concerns, her inquisitiveness is winning out. She would love to be part of something like this. It would be groundbreaking research, yes, but there's something inside of her that's willing her to say 'yes', and it isn't just because this is a big opportunity.
Call it a strong intuition, something in the deep recesses of her brain is sending whispers of approval.
Do it, it cries. Do it. You'll regret it if you don't.
"Do you have an estimate of how long this will be?"
"As of right now, no. But it could take years."
"What about school?"
"I did briefly discuss this with the dean. You are required to become actively involved in independent research under the direction of a faculty member, but some strings can be pulled. With your advisor, your academic plan can be altered. You'll most likely be required to attend classes remotely." She lets out a breath, as if amused by her thoughts. "If anything, you'd probably graduate during this research fellowship. But that's going to be a shit ton of work."
"You think I can do it?"
Tsunade raises a brow. "You're looking for encouragement? Out of the two of us, only you know the answer to that."
She does. And while there's remnants of doubt, her decision has already been made.
Yes. Her thoughts urge her. You'll find the answers soon.
It's as if the decision had been made long ago.
Tsunade closes her laptop.
"Well?"
Looking over the desk, she notes the smile on her assistant's face.
"I like her," Tsunade admits, sighing.
Her assistant's smile grows into a full-blown grin.
"Don't get too cocky, now."
"No cockiness here. I could just tell."
"I don't have the time to read the Annals as often as you do." She stands, fixing her tied up hair in the process. "And first impressions aren't the end all be all."
"True. Still, I'm confident she'll be a great asset to the team."
"Where do you get this confidence from?"
"You're impressed. That's all I need."
"I swear, you can be a psychic sometimes."
Her assistant hands her a clipboard. "Call it good intuition."
"Your intuition better be right." Tsunade leads the way out of the office. "Is the driver here?"
"He's downstairs in the lobby."
"Good. The less time I spend in Tokyo, the better."
"A few of the other researchers have arrived at the site and are waiting for your arrival."
"Anything new happen?"
A shake of her head. "No. All of the patients are the same."
"Remind me again why this virtual meeting couldn't be done at the site."
"Aside from the fact that connection is shoddy at best there, you were the one that insisted it be done somewhere you know is secure."
"Just for that smart ass comment, you're going to be the one personally picking up our new recruit."
Tsunade doesn't see it, already marching through the halls and heading into the main floor, but there's a soft, almost melancholic smile lining her assistant's lips.
A week has passed, and Sakura's on her way to her flight.
The process to make such big changes in her academic plan was smoother than she anticipated. The dean, while perplexed at her being given the offer, seemed proud that she has accepted the opportunity. Her professors weren't given much information aside from the fact that it's too good of an opportunity to turn down.
It still seems too good to be true to her. Everything is going too efficiently that it's leaving her room for uncertainty.
And the dreams have stopped.
After the meeting, her nights have been dreamless. Not one oddly familiar face. Not even an image. It has been peaceful. Too peaceful. The abruptness of it all has left her with dread, lying dormant in her stomach but noticeable, nonetheless.
The car stops, and she realizes that she has made it to the terminal. Thanking her Uber driver, she gets out of the car, gathers her things, and steels herself.
This is happening, she thinks to herself. You can do this. You worked hard for this. Your efforts are simply being recognized now.
"Sakura Haruno?"
Jolted out of her reverie, she notices a woman in front of her.
"Yes?" She answers cautiously.
This makes the woman laugh. "Sorry to have scared you. I'm here to guide you to your flight."
She blinks, her confusion obvious. "Oh, you don't have to."
"There's been a change of plans. You're flying private now."
"Private?!"
"Doctor Senju insisted. You should have received an e-mail about this on your way here."
Sakura takes her phone out, and sure enough, there's a notification regarding a new message from the doctor. Briefly reading it and confirming the stranger's claim, she scrolls to a photo attachment. It's the woman in front of her.
There's something about her that interests Sakura. She can't quite place it but decides to ask anyway. "I'm sorry. Have we met before?"
The woman is stunned momentarily then collects herself. "Oh, no. This would be the first time. I'm also here to brief you on new developments while on the flight." She takes her hand out. "I'm Dr. Senju's assistant, Shizune."
Sakura swears she has seen her before.
Notes:
Phewwwww, that's done!
When I tell you, I had the hardest time trying to make sure the science stuff made sense bc author dumb, author no doctor, author primarily reads two ppl make kissy face.
But thank you so much to Lils and Jarek for helping me with the science/ medical parts! Without them, I would still be pouring through medical texts on Google and having brain malfunctions because medical jargon is a lot to me.
If you have read the original, this chapter is quite different from its first chapter. The dream and the scene proceeding it is relatively the same in terms of what recurring dream Sakura has and her initial reactions afterwards, but a few things have been omitted and added such as writing down Yamato and Naruto's names when she has no idea who they are yet and the names were not verbally named during said dream.
Also I've decided to age everyone up three years. The reason will be revealed later on.
I've also changed Sakura from being an undergrad to actually being a medical student so as to make the offer being given to her make more sense. Still crazy, but less crazy than giving an undergrad this kind of opportunity with no explanation as to why other than "bc plot".
Shizune also makes an appearance now! In the og, she was absent, but her presence here is much needed with changes I'm making.
Thank you so much for reading! Comments are much appreciated as I am now braindead and will need to be revived to lightly edit the upcoming chapters. Love you!