CHAPTER ELEVEN
( BLACKBIRD )
A YAWN ESCAPES from Quinn's lips as she squints through hued glasses that rest on her nose at the glowing computer screen on her desk. The coding to the new update hadn't been hacked yet, but Edith had explained to them earlier in the day that people were constantly trying to crack it. No one asked why people wanted to get into their database; everyone had different reasons. Some people wanted to know the truth, wanted to get it out into the open and expose their deepest secrets - secrets that even she didn't know about.
Others were just bored and wanted to accomplish something, much like when news got around that Tony Stark had hacked into the pentagons system, he didn't do anything all he did was get a slap on the wrist. He just wanted to accomplish it and say that he actually did it. If only she had the guts to do something like that.
She'd know where Steve was with Agent Barton, and she'd know if there had been casualties on the mission and if they were part of the casualty list. Steve and Agent Barton have been gone for nearly a week and a half, she wasn't provided with information on how the mission was going - she wasn't an agent, she didn't have access to that.
She had become numb to the situation, it wasn't as if she had known Steve for very long. But he was right about them becoming fast friends. She would often go back and recount the night that she had taught him about the moon landing, how she had been so closed off to him. She felt guilty for snapping at him for asking her personal business but at the same time, she couldn't risk letting people know about it.
Her mother was her weakness and if anything happened to her because she blabbed something to the wrong person she'd feel accountable for it. She already felt guilty about what had happened to her brother, and her father. She sniffled at she continued to type in the pattern of the code, she hadn't realized she had begun tearing up as she thought of them. She couldn't help it, she had missed them so much.
Her hands instinctively raised her glasses up and placed them on her head as she rubbed her eyes out of exhaustion and to wipe away what would eventually be tears. Even if no one was there she couldn't break down at her work, she needed to get the code done or at least mostly completed. She was just over halfway done with it.
Her head shakes as she tries to snap out of her sleep deprived state. She always felt sorrow when she was tired. Her fingers ran along the edges of the leather jacket that Steve had given to her as 'incentive to return', pulling it tighter amongst her body as she feels a chill run through her.
She rolls her eyes as she remembers him stating that he'd be back for the jacket, she had hoped it would've been sooner - if not at all. At least she had a memento of him in case they were informed that the mission had been a failure. She couldn't think about that now, she had to go home eventually. It was twenty-three hundred and she had been up at five.
Overtime was starting to take its toll on her. She noticed that she was becoming more irritable than usual, instead of her naturally competitive self she found herself lagging behind the group as they jogged. Of course Maddox had asked if everything was all right to which she had defensively lied about and said everything was just peachy. He hung close to her at every stop on their group jog, asking her personal information that she wasn't ready to release to him. He was trying to prepare himself for their group date in two days.
She could see where he was coming from, but she didn't want to think of it as a date - she was purely going out of respect for Jo, who thinks she may have found the one. She was really going to be Jo's sense of comfort, if she needed it. She has never seen Jo more flustered about a guy in her time of being around her, each day she had either seen Jo going over to his apartment or Josh had been over to their loft.
Quinn found Josh admirable since he didn't do anything about her punching him in the face on first meeting, in fact it's become a running joke. Even Rudolph liked the man, usually he stood away from the guys Jo would bring into the house, Josh was different. Quinn hoped everything would turn out okay for the couple, if that's what they called themselves. Jo had mentioned to her that they hadn't labelled it yet.
The soft strumming of guitar flew into her ears as the song on her phone changed, making her guilt ridden feeling return. At her state of exhaustion mood swings were more common.
"Blackbird singing in the dead of night,
Take these broken wings and learn to fly"
The song struck a nerve in her that made tears start to well up in her eyes, the song used to be something her brother would play her as a child. She had forgotten that she had put it on her phone. She remembered sitting at the edge of the twin bed that resided in his room, watching him strum the instrument as he tried to sing along - she would laugh when he let out a curse when he messed up while learning to play the song. Something she hadn't even to the day told her mother about.
She smiled as she remembered him playing the song, effortlessly for her numerous times after that. It had always put her in a good mood after she had a hard day that he knew about. He'd come into her room and play her it, even if she was crying. She felt herself mumbling the words out softly as she continued to type away the code.
"Blackbird singing in the dead of night,
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see"
She couldn't help but sniffle at the song, being sure not to let any tears out as she remembered the fond memories the song held. She smiled to herself as she continued to sing along with the song.
"All your life,
You were only waiting for this moment to be free"
There was a sudden knock at the door that had her heart thumping wildly in her chest as she was caught off guard by the sound. She looks down at the clock on her desk to check the time: twenty-three; twenty-eight. It was pretty late, she thought about the possibility that it could be the janitor doing nightly rounds to see if anyone was in the office. She didn't pick up a stapler this time to protect herself like she had the first night she was caught off guard, she didn't need to fear anyone in the building, she had learned that.
She shrugs off the jacket that had been lent to her and places it on the back of her chair, as she stands up she rubs her eyes clear of any signs of tears that the song brought to her, placing her blue-light glasses on her head once again. She can hear the song still faintly playing as she pads away towards the door.
"Blackbird fly, blackbird fly,
Into the light of the dark black night"
Her hand doesn't tremble as she grabs onto the handle of the door like the night she was caught off guard. It could have been the pure exhaustion she was feeling that made her numb and oblivious to the situation.
As she opens the door her eyes widen with shock, as the breath is knocked out from her lungs, making it hard to breathe. Her eyes instantly start to well up with tears as she gazes into Steve's eyes. He's still in his suit as he stands in the doorway, a small cut is on his forehead but other than that it looks like he has cleaned up.
"Sorry I'm late," he apologizes with a smile. Before he can even register what happens, he's being pulled into the office by Quinn. He looks down at her puzzled as she continues to take in deep breaths, trying her best not to let any tears drip down her face, which is completely red. Her arms wrap around his torso in a tight embrace as she buries her head in his chest. He's taken back by the action, his brows raise in surprise as he stares down at the girl holding on to him, his arms sticking out to the his sides.
"You could've texted me," she scolds him, her voice muffled from the suit. It takes him a moment to realize that she's been worried about him for the whole length of his mission. He smiles warmly as he returns her embrace. It's nice. Quinn can still hear the music from her desk playing.
"Blackbird singing in the dead of night,
Take these broken wings and learn to fly,
All your life,
You were only waiting for this moment to arise"
Quinn breaks the embrace as the song ends, looking up at Steve. "What time did you get back?" she questions as she leads him towards her desk. "Just a couple hours ago, head to debrief with Fury, cleaned up, and I figured you'd still be here," he answers as they approach her desk. "Any chance you can tell me what it's about," she wonders playfully. "Not a chance," he replies with a smile.
He notices that his jacket is hanging from her chair, clearly it served of use to her. He points to it with a small smile, as she turns to face him again. Her brows raise as she realizes what he's looking at and she grabs it and tosses it to him. "Sorry," she apologizes as she sits down in her chair. "It gets cold in the office at night, so I grabbed it from my car as soon as everyone left. Hope you don't mind that I used it," Steve lets out a small chuckle. "It's partly why I left it behind,"
"You also left it behind because you said it would give you incentive to come back," Quinn reminds him as she puts her glasses back on and turns to face her computer screen. "And here I am," Steve remarks, pulling out a chair and sliding it next to her. She smiles yet tries her best to hide it form him. "And here you are," she repeats gazing at him before turning back to coding. As she begins typing, she can feel Steve's eyes resting on her as if he's waiting for something.
She yawns as she gazes at the clock once again. It's getting late. She locks her computer as she turns to face him, his eyes instantly locking on hers. "I'm sorry, I don't have a lesson planned out for today that I can do in less than twenty minutes. You'll have to come back another time for that," she apologizes as she tries her best to stifle back another yawn. "I didn't just come here for the lesson, I didn't expect one. I just wanted to see you," he responds to her honestly, which makes her cheeks turn a tint of pink as she listens.
"You didn't want your jacket back?" she asks with a smirk. He shrugs his shoulders as he thinks about it. "And I wanted my jacket back," he adds making her chuckle. "Well, I'm getting ready to leave. I've been here more than enough and I'm tired,"
"You look tired," he notes, watching her roll her eyes. "Thanks," she replies sarcastically. She turns off her computer and picks up her belonging. She scans his features one last time to make sure everything about him is correct, he's even got his jacket in his hand before she turns off her desk lamp. It takes Steve by surprise and the office in almost complete darkness aside from the dim lights that came from the hallway.
They make their way up to the front door where Quinn takes out a set of keys and sticks it in the lock. "If you come back tomorrow I'll have something planned for you," she promises him, as she turns the lock, making sure she locked up correctly. "Sounds like a deal," he states, walking beside her in the empty hallway towards the elevator.
They stand in a comfortable silence as they wait for the elevator to come down to grab them. Quinn starts swaying from side to side to keep herself busy as Steve watches her with a smirk, leather jacket hanging off of his shoulder.
The elevator rings as the doors open to reveal no one inside, something of a relief to Quinn. Quinn steps inside, while Steve hovers from outside, leaning in and hitting the button that'll take her to the main lobby. She gives him a questionable look to which he responds to, "I have to change still,"
"You don't get to take the suit home?" she questions, her voice incredulous.
"Wish I could," he says as he shakes his head.
"That sucks," she replies with a smile. She gazes at him momentarily, scanning his eyes for any sign of distress - the same way she would with Jo but she doesn't find any. Just comfort. She relaxes against the back side of the elevator, clutching on to her purse.
"It's good to have you back, Rogers," she hums out, smiling at him. He returns her smile, she notes that it seems just a tad more smitten than usual. Her heart seems to beat faster as she memorizes the smile. He let's go of the elevator doors, letting them slowly close in front of him. "It's good to be back," he smiles at her just as the elevator doors slide shut.