Ta dah, enjoy

As much as we wanted to press on towards the ocean right away, this new development threw up complications. The Sword Toothed Titan. We had the shifter in our grasp, and it was the bitch that had tortured me and Levi during our captivity. In the few hours deliberations went on, it was decided we would make camp for the time being. I wanted to object, so did Levi, neither of us wanting to impede progress, but really, we had no argument. Both of us had been thrown through a loop by this. Suddenly our tormentor was right in front of us. Bound. Gagged. Entirely at our mercy. But to have that suddenly presented was jarring, and we did our best to rally.

Jean kindly set up a tent for us, and we went inside to collect ourselves. They were all being so understanding. I suppose most of them likely didn't know what to do, how to react. They knew the stories. They knew exactly what that woman had done to us – maybe not all of it, but most. I sat with my head between my knees for a few minutes, just trying to take a steady breath. For one thing, panic was exhausting. For another, that damned connection between me and Eren had kicked off and the poor kid had felt the full brunt of my reaction to seeing the woman again. Mikasa had said she'd managed to talk him down a bit, but there was no doubting that connection now. It was there. Poor kid.

Levi had been sat on the other side of the tent from me, needing his own space to breathe. But once his breathing had evened out as well, he came over and sat beside me. Not coddling. Not crowding. But being near, his shoulder grazing mine ever so slightly. I leaned. He did too.

"At least we don't have a whole new enemy to be dealing with." His voice was still a little rough, but it was even. I put my head on his shoulder. "I didn't recognise her."

"How much did you ever really see her? Whenever I saw her with you she was behind, whispering in your ear or shoving more drugs into your system." I looped my arm around his and squeezed. "You'll likely react to her voice more, so brace for that."

"Mm, I'll do my best." He kissed my hair. "How're you feeling? Kind of guessing the full extent of your reaction was easier to read on the Jaeger kid?"

"Yeah. Can't deny the connection now."

"Don't deflect with the weird magicky bullshit we're dealing with." Levi murmured, nudging my head so I'd look at him properly. He put a hand to my cheek, searching my eyes. "You were terrified, right? It's okay to admit that, brat. It really is."

"Doesn't help anyone." I shrugged, but he just waited till I met his gaze again and he leaned in to press his lips to my forehead. He was right. Admitting it wasn't shameful. "Yeah. I was scared, terrified even. It was like being presented with some monster from under the bed, claws and everything. But showing that… I dunno, it's become instinct to keep it under wraps. Eren never stood a chance."

"Looked like he'd been punched in the gut and the balls simultaneously." Levi chuckled and kissed again before sitting back. "If you don't want to be there for the questioning it's–"

"Bugger that." I snorted. "I'm dealing with this bitch. She just caught me by surprise, that won't happen again."

"Alright, but if it does–"

"I'll be okay, Levi."

He wore a patient smile. "I know you will, of course. But if you're not, that's fine as well. We can't know for sure how it'll affect us being in that bitch's presence again. Neither of us."

"Hm, so you're extending that understanding to yourself too?"

"I'm trying." He shrugged. "Gotta count for something, right?"

"It counts for a lot."

"Mm, so then… shall we go talk to the bitch? Get some answers?"

"Sounds like a plan." I kissed his cheek and got on my feet, helping him up after.

The tent holding our adversary was a few more huge branches upwards, and as we landed we found several Scouts positioned outside as guards. No one was taking chances. Brand new shifter, brand new set of headaches. As we passed under the threshold, I touched Levi's hand and he returned it. Together, we'd do this together. Hanji was sat doing paperwork to pass the time, the gentle scratch of her quill and the slight rustle of the prisoner's clothes breaking the close quiet.

"Commander." Levi greeted.

Hanji looked up and gave a pleasant smile. "How're you both feeling?"

"Good, thanks for the respite." My eyes darted towards the small cloth partition between us and the bitch herself. Hanji gave a small nod and I turned, reaching for the partition. Valerie was bound. Gagged. I was fine. We were fine. I pulled back the partition.

Dark hair scraped back in a now rather frazzled braid, with several large streaks of grey running through it. Dark eyes glared. Pale lips set in a thin line against the metal bar gag. The biggest difference was the lack of glasses, but as soon as she tilted her head and warped her mouth into a cruel grin, memories trickled down my spine.

Levi stepped forward. "You can remove the gag for now, I can take the bitch down if need be."

She eyed him coldly, and even flinched when a cadet stepped forward to remove the gag. Either she was a good actress, or she was genuinely unnerved by all this. I hoped the latter. Then again I wanted her to feel as small as possible. I wanted her shaking in her boots, wishing for even a grain of hope, like she'd done to me. Like she'd done to Levi. But that was my cruel streak speaking, I had to keep the professional at the forefront. Or at least try.

The gag was removed and some water offered. She sipped. Then she locked her eyes back onto me and Levi and that signature smirk pulled at her lips. "Hello again Miss Sanshi, you look well."

My nails bit onto my palms. That voice. Ice crept along my veins. There was no room for doubt anymore, it was definitely her. We'd seen her in the Underground, but there had been distance, there had been so much more chaos going on around us. Here, there was no distraction. I kept my mask in place though, no point in letting her see weakness now – though I suppose she had already seen me every kind of broken while I was in her captivity.

She seemed unnerved by my silence at least.

"What's your name?" I asked calmly, voice at ease. We had the first name, but needed more.

Her eyes tightened. "What's that matter–"

"Name?"

"Valarie Sanshi."

I raised a brow and couldn't help the snort. "Bullshit."

"It's true. I'm your Aunt dear little Rob—"

"Bull. Shit." I repeated with another chuckle.

She frowned. "Does it really seem so impossib—"

"Really?" I groaned, and enjoyed her confusion at my tone. "He never mentioned a sister, even on his drunkest ramblings. There's no mention of you in his work either. So what… He just deleted you from his mind?"

"My brother abandoning the family is not my concern. Can't you see any resemblance?"

"He was a generic bastard. So sure, you have dark hair and…" I stepped forward and peered into her eyes, glad to see her flinch back a little. "Hazel eyes. Hardly odd aesthetic. So I doubt it, it's some dumbass ploy you're attempting. But keep in mind I'm hardly going to go easy on someone simply due to them being family. You know what I did to Vincent, don't you?" I tilted my head.

She pursed her lips. She nodded.

"Good." I stepped back. "Next lie and I will happily rip your hair out." I glanced to my Captain and Commander, but neither looked worried or concerned about my tone. So I looked back to 'Valerie Sanshi' and smiled, showing a good amount of my teeth. "Name. Now."

She set her jaw. "Valaire Sanshi."

"Oh for–"

"Just because you deny it, doesn't stop it being true." She snarled. "We are blood Robyn, we are family."

For a few moments I stayed quiet, before I raised a brow and looked her over. "Why work this angle? Seriously?"

"Angle? Excuse me?"

"Even if you are my long-lost, never before mentioned, bitch of an Aunty… I care less every second I look at you. If anything, it makes me want to hurt you more." I winked. "We are blood you say. As if it's meant to sway me to something. Didn't sway you though, did it?"

"I had a job to do."

I just laughed at that one, I stepped back, tapped Levi's shoulder and let him have his turn. This was madness. Of all the things to try and convince me of, this made no sense. It might well mean it was true instead, but I had no idea how to digest that information currently. Had my mother found out Vincent had a sister in the White Cloaks? Was that why my mother had sought them for help? Maybe. It mattered very little though. Just another shite relative to endure.

"Why did you take us?" Levi asked, voice cold. Her eyes sparked a little being addressed by him. Intrigue or fear, I can't really tell. But it was certainly a reaction. "I'd suggest answering promptly, I don't need mind-tricks or six months to get you to comply."

As much as I hated this woman, I probably had no way of even beginning to understand how much Levi hated her.

She swallowed. "Our serum… it required work. And we had to take down the Scouts. Two birds, one stone."

I shivered. "You were using us for experiments."

"That was the intention. But when Captain Levi here didn't respond to the serum upon our first try, and when we attempted it with you…" Her nose wrinkled. "Let's just say we changed tactic."

I didn't even recall a serum being used on me. Levi, yes. He had begged me to kill him if need be, rather than him killing me as a mindless Titan. But I didn't remember a serum. Not once. Shit. That had a lot of ramifications behind it. That meant I didn't recall everything yet. My shivering started in the base of my spine, but my mask stayed in place.

Valerie gritted her teeth. "Us Sanshi's, our bloodline, it's whole purpose is to serve. And so when Vincent struck out on his own, it was quite the shame to us all. I had to leave Marley barely a year after he did, seek out this wretched place, and try to make things right. Needless to say, I didn't manage it."

Levi stepped closer, looming over her. "So instead you shacked up with the White Cloak maniacs."

"They captured me, questioned me, and I realised my own goals were in line with theirs. To realise the full potential of Eldians and free us, from everyone. And… Well once I found Vincent, scurried away with that bloody peasant, I realised his work was going to be vital. And that if I tried to get him on side too soon, he might run again."

"Was Grisha Jaeger working for you as well?" Hanji asked, and Valerie frowned, looking her up and down as if she were outright mad. "Answer."

"You really are that ignorant?" Valerie looked between us all, shoulders moving with laughter.

I gritted my teeth. "Answer the Commander."

"No, Grisha was not working for us. Another Marley run away, yes, but until very recently we hadn't realised he had been working with my demented brother."

Levi clicked his tongue. "Fine. But why the hell are you still following us? Clearly you have the serum working to some degree, you're a shifter."

She looked horrified. "Good gods no! Why the hell would I allow myself to become one of those disgusting half-breeds? I've only used the temporary serum to allow me to track you lot. The very idea…" she shuddered, "Shifters are vermin."

The laughter bubbled out of me. Now we knew we could safely implement pain to get answers. Without risk of her shifting. My laughter must have triggered the same realisation in her, as she paled. Oops. Said too much?

"All right, next question." Levi cleared his throat. "Did you send in Sarah?"

"Sarah?" she repeated blankly.

I glared, but it was perfectly possible the woman wouldn't know the names of her subordinates.

Levi continued. "Sarah; short, brown hair, completely average looking for someone sent into our regiment to ply Robyn with another shot of shifter serum."

Slowly the penny dropped. "Oh… her. Right. Yes, she's one of our younger recruits, her family have been avid followers of us for generations."

How many followers did they have? Never mind. One headache at a time…

"How is she doing?" Valerie asked as if inquiring after her child at school.

"Stuck in a cell rambling about being a sinner."

"Splendid."

My patience thinned. I stepped forward again. "Just what exactly is your group anyway? A cult? A religion? Both?"

That god damned expression turned to patronising of all things. "We are loyal to the true state of Eldia. To the wondrous cycle. Eldians are the true form of Humanity, we–"

"The fuck are you on about? If you're trying to help Eldians, why're you attacking us? We're helping the people here, within the walls, we've been trying to keep them alive."

"The only thing you lot are good for is causing civil upheaval. To stay within the walls is to stay loyal." Valerie hissed. "Every time you head out here, slaughtering the immortals, you put pressure on the cycle. And we know you're trying to break it."

Oh. How stupid of me. Cycle. That was what she meant; Human to Titan, Titan to Human. Right. Their supposed immortality.

"Yes. Of course we're trying to break it. To stop it completely. To eradicate the pain that the Titans are, and all that they cause."

"You're committing blood betrayal every time you put that god damned uniform on! You are a Sanshi, and that used to mean something in this world."

I grinned. "It doesn't mean shit now."

"Evidently…"

"Sanshi's are just a bloodied mess."

Those dark eyes stared long and hard, before slowly, those lips warped into a deranged grin. She threw her head back and laughed loudly, to the point that her gut had to be aching as a couple tears leaked down her grubby face.

"Family is everything. Do you have any idea the lengths the original rulers went to in order to create good heritage? The purges of bad blood from our civilisations, the cleansing of our genetic pool? The Jaegers, the Ackermans, the Reiss's!" She listed them, on and on. "And finally the Sanshi's. Elite groups of families were chosen to maintain the cycle. It just so happens a couple went AWOL. Or indeed proved that they couldn't be trusted." She added, glaring at my Captain.

"So why—"

"Your mother was a Reiss, a low level watered down one by all accounts, but still a Reiss. And your father—"

"Your brother. Right?" I interrupted, and she gave a shrewd smile. That lie hadn't help up for long, had it?

Levi took a long breath."So your organisation seeks to… what? Create a shifting potion to rebuild an army? To dismantle the Scouts? What? You talk of shifters being vermin and yet use them for your fucking chores, and actively seek the serum to make them. Stop speaking about shit-useless heritage and give us some clarity."

I glanced at Hanji, noting how hard Levi's voice had grown towards the end. He was always going to be better at getting answers than me, because quite frankly Levi knew how the game worked better than I did. But that didn't mean he would definitely keep it together with the bitch right in front of him. I was amazed he hadn't killed her already.

Valerie sighed heavily.

I snapped my fingers in front of her face. "I suggest you answer his question, or neither me nor Commander Zoe will be able to hold him back. Not that we'll particularly want to."

"Answer." Hanji snapped.

Valerie began shaking. "The Scouts were getting out of hand. We knew if something wasn't done soon, the shift of power could be devastating. You don't realise it, but you're not freeing humanity, you're dooming it. You need to be controlled in order to–"

"Wait." I choked. "You're still working on the serum. You… You want my phrasing."

The connection to Eren. Did the White Cloaks know about him commanding Titans on the field? If they could control me, could they influence him? And then all Titans beyond that?

My mind ached. And I stared at her with wide eyes as things clicked in my mind, in the same sickening way a gun's trigger did.

"You wanted to bring down the corps… Or make us all shifters?"

She stared right at me, mind ticking over. Likely trying to figure out if she could lie her way around this. I stepped forward and loomed. She pressed her lips together. I grabbed her hair and yanked back till her neck was arched painfully. She gritted her teeth. Stubborn.

I held so tight some hair much have snapped free. But I didn't care. This was a far greater threat to my family than I'd realised. One I could be used to implement. "Answer now, or you'll be mumbling around a lack of teeth."

She held out for a couple more seconds, dark eyes calculating up at me. But when I pulled harder, she winced and gave a squeak of submission. "Fine! Fine."

I released her and stepped back "So?"

"If you could be controlled… yes. The Scouts would be the prime candidates for our shifter plans."

"Sick bastards." Levi snarled, turning away, stepping back beyond the partition.

I kept my eyes on Valerie. How far did the White Cloaks reach? Was she as high ranking as she had appeared? Could we cut off the head of the snake here and now? Probably not. That would be far too convenient. No, they would be rooted deep, just like those who falsely posed as the royals. A sickness within the walls that needed surgically removed. I wasn't sure how many Titans Eren could control at once, but if he refined that ability, it could be dozens. And if I could be controlled via my phrasing, and him via that strange connection, there was no telling what the White Cloaks would be able to accomplish. Or destroy. The cycle would never end. The walls would be our tomb. Their control would be absolute.

"So… Why take Levi? Was that just the back up for destroying the Scouts, or something else? Now's the time for honesty, Valerie."

She sighed. "Ackermans are in short supply if you hadn't realised, and basically this is because we couldn't guarantee them being controlled. So we had to do tests."

So that was part of the reason for all the mind games – not just a mindless sick need to play with people, but an actual plan. I wasn't sure if that made it better or worse.

Levi stepped back in, presumably having taken some air. His mask was firmly in place. "So you wanted to see if I could be controlled as a Titan?"

"Humanity's Strongest as a Titan to be controlled and used as a weapon? As a man of strategy surely you can see the advantages to that?" She chuckled, and Levi's jaw went tight. Six months of torture being supposedly justified in a chuckle.

"So when you realised he wasn't compatible, after all your prodding and poking, what was the plan? Perfect the serum and what…?"

"We have our plan, and one way or the other, we will have our way. We always have and always will do. You're a fleeting thing Robyn Sanshi, we are eternal." She tilted her head, hair falling in front of her cruel eyes. "We will linger long after your bones have turned to dust."

"So by that point I won't give a shit will I?"

She laughed harder. "Such false bravery."

"This is pointless, we're getting nowhere else with her like th–"

"Are you still having fond dreams of all the fun we had together? We could always take you in again. Make you right at home my little niece."

"Shut up." I snapped, teeth bared. She was leaning back on basic shit, on my trauma and emotions. Though knowing that didn't mean it wasn't working.

She giggled. "Come now, I reckon you enjoyed it on some level."

"Stop it."

"Hm? After all you were moaning like a whor—"

"Fuck you!" I slapped her hard and strode out of the tent, eyes already blearing, chest tight, heart hammering.

Her laughter dimmed as I launched and headed to another branch, but a few notes still lingered, so I headed up. The canopy. Seeing the sky, the horizon. Surely then I could breathe. Branches whipped past, the air growing colder as I climbed, and at long last broke through the leaves above. Blue yawned atop me, arcing long and wide, as far as I could see, with only a couple fluffy white clouds skirting past. And then the green plains. Their expanse bringing new light to my mind as I drank in the fresh air. Endless. Open. Free.

I breathed deep.

And then I sobbed, letting the fresh air dry my tears as they fell, but with the freedom to run came the freedom to feel. And so I let myself do just that. The bruises remained. I was making progress, I was getting stronger, but the wounds remained. I braced against the thin trunk beside me and let it pour from my soul, the hate, anger, shame, violated dignity. All of it. Like running a tap in an old house, initially coming out clogged, brown and rancid, but eventually, clear and clean. My tears slowed. My breathing evened. And I managed to step back to once again marvel at how far we had come.

I could do this.

We could do this.

Cya next time!