Hey, everyone. I've been alerted about some issues with this story appearing and things like that, honestly it's probably so old that it's causing issues. I've checked and everything looks right on my end, so I'm just going to keep posting it and assume that will resolve itself. I know I don't get emails about it, so that could be an issue too. Anyway, onwards and upwards.

Hope you enjoy! Let's get to it

Bo was silent on the ride back. Lauren contemplated speaking a few times, but honestly couldn't figure out what to say. When they arrived back, Bo quietly got out of the car and headed to the bathroom to shower. Lauren looked around the living room, taking in the weak light and the shadows, thinking of this time the day before when she had been unaware everything unfolding.

Lauren went into the kitchen and started the coffee. Her eyes felt puffy and irritated, and she knew it was from lack of sleep. Nowhere near Bo's level, but still… She flipped on the news while the coffee was brewing.

"…beat his fiancé and her children with a hammer. After fleeing the scene he evaded capture, injuring at least four officers in the process. Sources say he was taken into custody yesterday morning and is being held pending charges. The metro zoo is seeing an upgrade this year, officials say, with the…" Lauren shut the TV off.

Bo came out a short while later, dressed in fresh clothes. Lauren took in her black pencil skirt, her unwrinkled white blouse, and thought that if she didn't know the events of the last twenty-four hours she might not be able to guess them. As Bo walked towards the kitchen she was fitting earrings in her ears, long silver ones that reached to the edge of her jawline. She approached the coffeepot and, finding it full, gave Lauren a grateful smile that almost reached her eyes.

"Thank you," she said, quietly, pouring a mug and taking a long drag of it, black. Her voice sounded steady, sure.

Lauren surveyed her for a moment. "You don't drink your coffee black."

Bo looked at the cup like she was seeing it for the first time and shrugged. "It's fine." She took another deep drink and refilled the half she had finished.

Lauren stood up and approached her as Bo reached in the cabinet for a travel mug.

"Bo?" Bo retrieved the mug and set it on the counter. She then looked at Lauren, and Lauren appraised her, trying to decide what to say next. As she gathered her thoughts, she found herself trying to mentally grip on to the parts of Bo that looked normal – the skirt, the earrings, they way her fingers curled naturally around the handle of her coffee mug. Anything but her eyes. Anything but the defeated set of her shoulders.

As Lauren was desperately trying to pull the threads of Bo together into a cohesive, healthy whole in her mind, Bo reached for the pot and filled the travel mug. "I know."

"You know what?" Lauren asked, shaken askew from her own mind, not sure where Bo's thoughts were headed.

"I know you're angry. I'm sorry."

"I don't want you to be sorry."

Bo sighed, the weariness tugging at her shoulders further down, and she took another drink from her mug. "Then what do you want me to be?" It wasn't said angrily, or in frustration. It was somehow naked, like Bo was a coloring book page waiting to be filled in.

Lauren walked over to Bo and removed the mug from her hands, resting it on the counter. She then took Bo's face in her hands and pulled her slightly in, giving her a kiss. She tried to pour herself into it, communicate through it her fear, her frustration, her anger at the thought that Bo would dare not take care of herself, because she didn't see how important she was? How much Lauren needed her to be well? She slid her hands gently up Bo's jaw, reaching towards her hair, her fingertips skimming Bo's scalp.

Bo kissed her back, almost tentatively. She didn't urge Lauren forward, or attempt to deepen the kiss. She participated, but…

Lauren angled herself and opened her mouth under Bo's, her tongue attempting to search Bo out. Her body naturally fell into rhythm, the instinct of how to hold Bo, how to kiss her, feeling so natural, even now when everything was wrong. She tasted the bitterness of the wrong coffee and tried to force herself not to register it.

Bo barely responded and Lauren felt tension rise in her, like Bo was a rubber band about to snap.

Lauren pulled back and looked at Bo, whose eyes were closed. She saw the track of a tear quietly moving down her cheek. When Bo opened her eyes, she didn't acknowledge it, seeming to not realize it was there. Lauren reached up to wipe it with her thumb, and the action jolted Bo toward awareness. She took a step back and wiped her face with the back of her hand.

"Sorry," Bo said, reaching for the mug again and taking another drink.

"Bo, please, let me…help you with this, or something. Talk to me."

"I can't."

Lauren's nerves were shot. "Can't or won't?" she asked again, her irritation not hidden.

"Can't," Bo answered, her voice cracking like she was going to start crying.

Lauren felt like her heart was shattering. She gathered Bo in her arms and held her tightly. Bo sagged into her, her face in crook of Lauren's neck. Lauren felt her draw in a few deep breaths as she attempted to keep herself together.

"I'm so sorry, Lo," Bo said into her shoulder. "I just…I'm sorry."

Lauren smoothed a hand down the back of Bo's her, her anger fleeing her. "Shhh…" she whispered into Bo's ear.

Bo took a shaky breath and Lauren felt her arms squeeze tighter for a too brief moment before Bo stepped back. She took another gulp of coffee and when she looked back at Lauren, Lauren noted that she looked like she was waking up, although it seemed physically impossible.

"I have to read over some things before this meeting," Bo said quietly.

Lauren nodded. "Okay. I have to start getting ready for work too."

Bo nodded back. "Yeah, okay."

After a few moments, Lauren reached out and squeezed Bo's hand before heading back towards the bathroom to start getting ready.

Lauren finished her morning routine and headed back into the living area where she found Bo sitting on the couch. Her laptop was open on the coffee table, with papers strewn about, as she was working with determination. Lauren cleared her throat lightly when she walked into avoid startling Bo.

Despite her effort, she still saw Bo jolt ever so slightly before she looked up. "Oh, hey, sorry, I'll be taking this all with me so it'll be cleaned up…"

"You live here, you don't have to clean up after yourself like an unwanted houseguest."

Bo nodded but continued gathering the papers quietly.

Lauren hesitated. "How bad?" she asked, her voice pitched tentative and low.

Bo slid the papers into her bag and took a deep breath. "Really bad. Really, really bad."

"They might make the ER staff do PTSD counseling."

"They should," Bo answered reflexively, unplugging the laptop.

"You may want to look into it, too."

Bo glanced up at her before returning to the task at hand. "I'll be fine."

"Bo…"

Bo stood up, slinging the strap of her bag on her shoulder. She smoothed her hands down her front and then stepped forward. She pulled Lauren into a kiss. This one was…real. Lauren wanted to sob in relief against the terror she hadn't quite realized had gathered within her.

Bo stepped back, releasing her slowly. She reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind Lauren's ear. "I'll be home as soon as I can," she said, quietly. Lauren gave Bo a look, and Bo nodded in understanding. "I promise."

"Okay," Lauren said. She stepped forward to attempt to give Bo another kiss when Bo's phone sounded, making them jump.

Bo lifted her phone and looked at the screen. "Walters is here, I have to go," she said. She gave Lauren a quick kiss, and rested her forehead on Lauren's for a moment. "I promise," she said again, before turning to leave.

Lauren finished getting ready, drinking more coffee than she would ordinarily admit to Bo. By the time she arrived at work she felt jittery but focused. She quickly found herself in the flow of the day, but time seemed to be moving sluggishly. As she performed her usual tasks she got updates on the victims from the day before.

Four officers had come in, and three were expected to recover in varying amounts of time. The fourth was not as fortune and had died during the night. With a sick feeling in her stomach Lauren instantly thought of Bo, wondering if she knew him. She felt angry with herself for thinking that first – a man had died, presumably a man with a family and with people who loved him – but her first thought was only for her own loved ones.

It was natural, she knew, but she still felt the dregs of guilt.

The mother and children had been transferred to other hospitals, so she wasn't sure of their status, but she had sinking dread that it wasn't good news.

Lauren checked her phone throughout the day, hoping for a text from Bo, anything that would reassure her that she was…well, surviving, at this point would have to suffice. She wanted to believe she wasn't hearing from Bo because she had gone home and gone to bed, but…

By lunchtime Lauren felt ready to jump out of her skin. Bo hadn't texted her, and she just wanted the reassurance that she was okay. Hoping against hope that she was at home, Lauren left the hospital to go home for lunch.

As she pulled up at home, she saw Bo's car parked in front and her heart momentarily soared. Lauren parked and got out, quickly making her way inside.

Once in, she quietly walked around, trying not to make any noise in case Bo was asleep. With no signs of her in the kitchen, Lauren made her way to the bedroom. There she found the bed made. With a sigh, Lauren pulled out her phone and was about to text Bo when she received a text from Dyson.

Dyson: Hey, Kenzi and I dropped off Bo's car. We have the keys at the Dal.

Lauren wanted to drop her head against the wall. Of course Bo hadn't come home. Obviously.

Lauren: Thanks, Dyson.

Lauren threw her phone with more force than was strictly necessary into her purse. She knew she should just go back to work – there was nothing to be done here, and she wasn't hungry, anyway – but for some reason she found herself driving to the house instead.

Dimly, she had an awareness that she was following the ghost of Bo's steps from the night before. When she pulled up outside she saw the house, still and impassive. She turned off the ignition but didn't get out of the car right away, her hands still resting on the steering wheel as she looked at the quiet building.

Eventually she got out, tossing her keys into her purse as she walked to the door. When she entered she could still smell the sharp scent of paint from the night before. She closed the door behind her and rested her purse on the floor. She walked through the house, her eyes taking in everything and nothing.

She passed the hallway where she had sat with Bo, feeling as though she could see the echo of their interaction there. She saw the partially painted wall, the bizarre combination of colors where Bo had stopped with one and begun another. She walked further down to the office that she and Bo had decided would be Bo's, noting that nothing had been started in this room.

She wandered into their future bedroom, the living room, the kitchen. In each room Lauren felt a moment of near déjà vu, the hollow feeling of an imagined memory or a dream. She could feel Bo's dreams for their future here, like she could see the story unspooling across the air.

She space was suffused with midday light, the brightness making her mind think it should be warm, even as a chill crept over her arms, making goosebumps raise. She cast her eyes around one last time before finally turning to go back to work.

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