Chapter 10
The Emperor's... Dismay?
AN: Yes I am aware that Lion El'Jonson is now awake in the WH40K canon. Saw the model and everything. And we already established that he is awake in this series.
As the battle over in a new section at the galaxy continues, the Emperor of Mankind is waiting patiently while on the Golden Throne. He is in pain, but a new pain came in the form of Vulkan hugs that nearly crushed his rib cage. Right now, he is just sitting there. Contemplating on what is in the new area that have remained hidden for so long.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS TAKING THEM SO LONG? THEY'VE ONLY BEEN GONE FOR THREE MONTHS. OR WAS IT THREE YEARS? DAMMIT, MY CHRONOMETER IS ON THE FRITZ AGAIN. WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT TECHPRIEST WITH THE DINOSAUR SKULL?"
Vulkan appears and is cheery as ever, "Fear not, father!"
"OH HELL NO."
"I will find one of the techpriest to ensure that your throne is stable and we won't have to worry about another Eye of Terror on Terra."
"YES! PLEASE DO!"
"But I'm afraid I can't."
"WHY THE FUCK NOT?!"
"Because I do not want you to be all alone in your loneliness."
"CAN SOMEONE OTHER THAN VULKAN PLEASE REPORT TO THE THRONE ROOM AT ONCE!? I'LL EVEN ACCEPT THE FUCKING LAP-DANCERS!"
"Hello?" the Techpriest with the dinosaur skull appears. And his name is Cyberdong for those that don't know.
"THANK GOODNESS."
"What are the Dark Angels and their successor chapters doing? Are they approaching Terra? Yes, but why?"
"WHAT?"
"The children of the Lion are coming here?" Vulkan questions. "That is good news! I would like to make some Dark Angel friends along with their fellow successor chapters."
"BUT WHY THE FUCK ARE THE DARK ANGELS HERE? YET I SENSE SOMETHING. SOMETHING I HAVEN'T FELT SINCE..."
The doors of the throne room open followed by the sound of heavy footsteps coming in. Vulkan and Cyberdong are taken a step back by what they see. Completely shocked by the figure who hasn't been seen for untold centuries.
"HOLY FUCKING SHIT. IS THAT REALLY YOU?"
"Can this really be possible?"
"IT IS!" Vulkan shouts for joy, "It has been such a long time, brother!"
"Yes. For it is thee! The Lion has returneth to Terra!" Lion El'Jonson has returned to Terra.
After the many millenniums, sleeping within the Rock, the Primarch of the Dark Angels has awoken at long last.
"Father!" says Lion, "Thou has gotten terrible over thine slumber. Thou been reduced to bare bones while still alive upon the Golden Throne."
"AFTER ALL THIS FUCKING TIME, YOU HAVE TO POUR SALT ON AN OPEN WOUND LIKE THAT? I ALREADY KNOW I AM A FUCKING SKELETON THAT IS IN ETERNAL AGONY UPON THIS THRONE AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO FUCKING REMIND ME!"
Cyberdong is passed out on the floor.
"Forgeth me, father!" Lion quickly reconcile, "I donth not mean to offend thee!"
Vulkan approaches Lion, "Brother! Let me give you a hug!"
Vulkan gives Lion a big hug and squeeze him really tight.
Lion tries to be calm while being crushed by Vulkan's bear hug, "And it is goodeth to see you too, brother of mine! Thine am glad to be in thee's warm embrace! Vulkan, brother of compassion and empathy!"
"YES! It is good to see you! And I still have 11,000 more hugs to give!"
Vulkan then continues to squeeze Lion tight with his hugs. But Lion breaks out of it.
"That's enough brother of mine! Thank you!" He then looks at the Emperor, "Father, I understand that many of thy brothers have returned and gone to a new realm. Is dis true?"
"INDEED, LION EL'JONSON. MANY OF YOUR BROTHERS HAVE RETURNED. JAGHATAI KHAN, ROBOUTE GUILLIMAN, VULKAN, ROGAL DORN AND LEMAN RUSS. EVEN MAGNUS HAS BEEN REDEEMED AND RETURNED TO THE FOLD."
"Thy has heardeth of the Red Cyclops' redemption."
"WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP TALKING LIKE THAT? IT IS ONLY US THREE AND THE TECHPRIEST HAVE PASSED OUT FROM YOUR ENTRANCE."
Lion takes a very deep inhale followed by a long exhale before speaking. "Thank goodness!" Lion dropped his knightly talk, "To be honest, I was getting a little tired of being a knight all the time. But I have to to inspire chivalry towards the Imperium's populace."
"GOOD."
"But tell me, what the hell happened during my long slumber?"
"... OH SHIT. YOU BETTER BE SITTING DOWN FOR THIS."
SEVERAL PAINFUL HOURS OF EXPLAINING LATER!
Lion just stood there completely dumbfounded after a long explanation of what happened after the Horus Heresy.
"What the fuck!" Lion shouts.
"KNEW THAT WAS COMING."
"All that crazy shit happened?!"
"AFRAID SO."
"Fuck! And Roboute is banging a fucking Eldar bitch!?"
Vulkan says, "Not sure, but they are the greatest of friends!"
Lion gives Vulkan an awkward stare before he looks back at the Emperor, "Does Vulkan know about-"
"TRIED TO, BUT HE STILL DOESN'T GET IT."
"Fair."
"What are you two talking about?"
The both of them say, "NOTHING/Nothing!"
"ANYWAY, THERE IS NOW AN UNEASY TRUCE BETWEEN US AND THE ELDAR BUT AS LONG AS THE GREAT RIFT IS STILL THERE, IT MIGHT LAST. PROBABLY. HOWEVER, WE ARE CURRENTLY TRYING TO GET NEW RESOURCES FROM THESE NEW SYSTEMS IN THE FAR WESTERN PARTS OF THE GALAXY THAT HAS SHOWED UP."
"Shame me and my Dark Angels, and these bizarre successors, aren't participating in the crusade to claim more for the Imperium."
"BUT YOUR DARK ANGELS AND ALL THEIR DESCENDANTS ARE SECRETIVE AS FUCK. THEY MIGHT JUST KILL HALF A COMPANY JUST BECAUSE THE OTHERS GET TOO CURIOUS ABOUT WHAT THE HELL THEY ARE DOING. BUT YOUR CHILDREN COULD DEFEND SOME SECRET PLACES LONG AS THEY CAN SHUT THEIR FUCKING MOUTHS. I HAD A TALK WITH BELIAL AND THAT GUY IS SUCH A WHINY BITCH."
"You said it." Lion agrees, "But he is one of the few level-headed Space Marines that doesn't repent everyone by killing everyone. Azrael is fucking paranoid and Asmodai is just fucking unstable."
Vulkan suggests, "Perhaps they need a friendship hug."
The both of them say, "SHUT UP, VULKAN!"
"Anyway," Lion continues, "I did spoke with the rest of my children and...fuck! They are fucking paranoid, unstable, and so fucking secretive that they hide things from me. I'm their fucking Primarch!"
"YEAH. SERIOUSLY. I MEAN IT IS LIKE A FUCKING CONSPIRACY CON OR SOMETHING."
"Indeed." Vulkan states. "The Dark Angels and their successors are a little insane. They even tried to declare war on the Adeptus Mechanicus. And lets not forget that they tried to purge the Primaris Marines. Even my Salamanders and their successors tried to purge a few for not looking, you know, like me."
"Being...cheerful?"
"No, they are and they can harness the power of friendship."
"Wait, why do I have a feeling that it is about to be ra-"
"ENOUGH!" the Emperor ordered. "GOOD NEWS IS THAT YOU ARE HERE AND AWAKE, AND I AM GLAD YOU ARE."
"Glad to be here. But I cannot believe the state of the Imperium has gone down. I mean, without our guidance, the Imperium has been in a state of stagnancy and barbarism for ages. And not to mention the shit that has happened to our galaxy with all these Warp Storms. I mean, holy shit! Do you have any idea how hard it was just to reach Terra nowadays?"
"I DO. BECAUSE I AM FOREVER TRAPPED IN THIS PORTA-POTTY LIGHTHOUSE AND MY OTHER SOUL REFUSE TO SWITCH WITH ME."
"He is more popular than you are." Vulkan says to his father.
"FUCK YOU!"
"Yeah..." Lion is a bit skeptical, "About that. How the hell did you get that part of your soul into the material realm again? I mean, I did only heard it once but I was still confused by half the nonsense you said. Although I do like the part where Leman Russ was found. And the part where the Dark Eldar nearly died out from kindness and joy."
"Friendship is the best medicine to conquer loneliness and darkness."
"THAT IS NOT TRUE, VULKAN. BUT I CANNOT DENY THE FACT THAT IT NEARLY KILLED THEM."
"And speaking of the Primarchs returning, I find it hard to believe that Vulkan had his soul infused with billions of Orks. Then lost track of himself on his own home planet, then realizes that he was on his own planet with most of his memories intact, and a bunch of shit and giggles that has happened. Even the part about Corvus Corax being in the Engine of Woe the whole time. Does he still make depressing poems and make up new curse words?"
"YES HE DOES."
Vulkan looks a little down, "Shame that we cannot fixed his broken heart."
"Yeah, that is definitely Corvus Corax. It is even more dumb that Rogal Dorn was here as a Centurion the whole fucking time and staying silent. Now can we go back on topic on how the fuck did your soul piece?"
"I AM BACK!" Kaldor Draco has returned.
"Who the fuck is this guy?" Lion asks.
"That is Kaldor Draco, former Supreme Grand Master of the Grey Knights."
"The what and the what? The fuck are the Grey Knights?"
"SOME FUCKING CHAPTER THAT WAS MADE WITHOUT MY KNOWING THAT USE TECHNOLOGY THAT ARE MORE ADVANCE THAN ALL THE OTHER CHAPTERS, WHICH ARE NOW BACK TO BEING LEGIONS. THEY ALSO KEEP THE TECHNOLOGY AWAY FROM THE MECHANICUS AS WELL... AT LEAST I THINK THAT'S HOW IT IS. THEY JUST TOOK SOME OF MY DNA AND USE IT TO CREATE THEM."
"I must leave!" Kaldor says as he slowly levitates in the air, "My planet needs MEEEEEEEEEE!" and then disappears.
"STILL HAVE SOME PROBLEMS WITH HIS BRAIN AFTER BEING IN THE WARP FOR SO LONG."
"Yeah." Lion agrees, "I completely agree." He then changes the subject, "But what about our other brothers? I heard some vague details yet not much is cleared."
"WELL, ROGAL IS STILL ROGAL AS HE CONTINUES TO TAKE METAPHORS SERIOUSLY."
"He is autistic."
"I ALREADY TOLD YOU ABOUT MAGNUS AND HOW I GOT HIS SOUL BACK. AND YOU ALREADY KNOW ABOUT VULKAN AND CORVUS."
"Yeah, I find it kinda weird that you just did that. And I am not surprised that they haven't changed much."
"Adventure!"
"Not now."
"LEMAN ALSO RETURNED FROM THE WARP YET HE IS MORE SANE THAN KALDOR FUCKCO."
"At least that's comforting. But is he still obsessed with wolves and-"
"YES."
"Some things never change."
"WAR NEVER CHANGES. JAGHATAI HAS RETURNED FROM THE ELDAR WEBWAY AND TAUGHT THE DARK ELDAR ABOUT REAL SPEED BUT HE HAS SLOWED DOWN A LITTLE HIMSELF."
"That's a bit different."
"FERRUS AND SANGUINIUS ARE DEAD."
[Super Uncomfortable About the Subject]
"AND ROBOUTE HAS RETURNED WITH HELP FROM THE ELDAR."
"Yeah, so... Is that Eldar our new sister or...?"
"STILL UNSURE ABOUT IT."
"And I take it that our traitorous brothers are dead."
"HORUS IS. I PRESUME KONRAD CURZ IS. MAGNUS HAS RETURNED TO THE FOLD. THE REST ARE FUCKING ABOUT IN THE WARP."
The Cyberdong wakes up, "But my lord, surely you have heard of the deed of Magnus the Red did with Fulgrim?"
"...WHAT?"
The door opens and a majestic figure wearing tyrian purple armor with gold trimmings with the knees having screaming faces and white leather straps with small metal spikes. His chestplate also has the Imperium's aquila on it with a circled red gem below the aquila. He also has a golden hawk on his right shoulder. His hair is long that is white as snow and dark violet eyes.
"Hellooooo~!" he speaks in a stereotypical gay and flamboyant voice, "Father, your fabulous son has returned!"
"WHAT THE FUCK?"
"FULGRIIIIM!" Vulkan shouts with joy, "Welcome back, brother! Glad to see you not all daemonized and in your Primarch form."
"Why thank you, my artisan brother~!"
Lion is confused, "I'm sorry, WHHAAAAATTT!? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?"
"Ah, yes! Allow me to explain! It all happened when Slaanesh was pierced by Ynnead."
Many years ago...
In the Warp, Slaanesh has been pierced (no sexual pun intended) by Ynnead, the Eldar god of the dead.
"OOOWWWW!" the Chaos God screams, "IT HURTS BUT NOT IN THE GOOD WAY!"
Souls started to pour of of her...his...its belly with Magnus identifying one of the souls.
"Yoink!" Magnus says as he takes away one specific soul.
"Oh fuck you, Magnus! And not in a sexual way either!"
"LOOKS LIKE HE DID WHAT I DID BUT WITH EXTRA STEPS."
"Well, now I am back and I have soooo many ideas on what to do with our shambled Imperium. We will have so much fun!"
Vulkan hugs Fulgrim, "It is good to have you back into the fold, Fulgrim!" He is super happy, "I have soooo many hugs to give you!"
"I missed you too, Vulkan!" then Fulgrim hugs Vulkan.
Lion does a disappointed sigh, "Yeah, this is cringe as fuck right now."
"YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN. AT LEAST MAGNUS DID SOMETHING RIGHT BUT I AM NOT SURE HE CAN DO IT AGAIN WITH ALL THE OTHER PRIMARCHS OR DO THAT WARP FUCKERY SHENANIGANS AGAINST THE CHAOS GODS. I'M NOT AS MAD AS I SHOULD BE. BUT MAGNUS WOULD HAVE THE DECENCY TO TELL ME ABOUT THIS."
"Yeah, but..." Lion looks at Fulgrim, who is still hugging Vulkan, "I don't exactly trust him after all the shit that went down during the Horus Heresy."
"Oh, you mean the sword I had?" Fulgrim replies, "I got rid of it. Yeah, I would not recommend using it because it corrupts the wielder and it was the reason for why I betrayed Ferrus. Who I am now seeing the ghost of Ferrus right now."
A small ghost of Ferrus appears, "You were weeeeeaaaaaak, Fulgrim!" he angry states. "You were weak back then and you are weak now!"
Vulkan slaps the ghost, "Shut up, Ghost-of-Not-Ferrus. You would haunt us no longer."
Lion has no idea what they are talking about, "Okay...? What do you mean by Ferrus' ghost? All I saw was Vulkan swatting the air."
"P-T-S-D. FERRUS MANUS WAS A HOT-TEMPERED PRICK THAT SEE FLESH AS WEAK JUST AS THE ADEPTUS MECHANICUS DO. HE USED TO MAKE FUN OF EVERYONE, REMEMBER?"
"You know what?" Lion asks before walking away, "I'm gonna go discipline a few Custodies for running around in nothing but their loincloths and not wearing their armor."
"PLEASE DO. AND ONCE YOU HAVE FINISHED, I WILL TELL YOU SOME OF THE SHIT THAT WENT DOWN."
"Story time!" Vulkan and Fulgrim say in unison and start to sit down.
"WAIT UNTIL LION COMES BACK. BUT I WILL TELL YOU SOME SHIT THAT HAS HAPPENED AFTER THE 13TH BLACK CRUSADE. AND WHEN MAGNUS COMES BACK, I WILL SCOLD HIM FOR NOT TELLING ME ABOUT YOU, FULGRIM."
Cyberdong says, "Doesn't the Emperor remember Magnus about it?"
"NO."
AN: Hey everyone! Hope you enjoy the story so far and this little surprise. Just to give you the heads up, I am gonna work on another story since I have cancelled my RWBY/Pokemon crossover remake. I do have a forum (link below) that list a whole bunch of cyberpunk derivatives. I'm still looking for some that start with an X. If you guys know a few or know some that aren't on the list, let me know in the forum along with the definition and examples. Till then, catcha' later!
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