Bo
The brunette stretched and noticed she had fallen asleep and been left alone in the dining room. Pulling a blanket off of her lap, she stood and walked up the stairs. She looked towards her room and turned towards it. Something in her turned her back around. She walked towards Lauren's room and gently knocked on the door. Vivian and Megan weren't at their posts which means everyone but Bo had retired for the night. When Lauren didn't answer her knock, Bo opened the door. "Lauren!?." She gently called out for the doctor. She walked the room looking from corner to corner. She sighed when she found the blonde. She was passed out on the floor. "Hey, Lauren." She gently nudged her. Lauren groaned in her sleep and opened her eyes. "What have you been doing, Lauren? What is all of this?." Bo pointed to needles and other medical equipment scattered about.
Lauren rolled her eyes. "It is nothing for you to be concerned about, Bo. Honestly, it's nothing." The doctor stood and dusted her clothes off.
"Lauren, I'm not leaving this room until you tell me the truth. So, unless you want me to sleep in your bed, tell me what's going on? I thought we had turned a corner." Bo folded her arms.
"I'm trying to fix my own screw up. I'm trying to fix my blood so that I don't and won't need your help." Lauren explained.
"Lauren, you will always have my help whether you want it or not. I know you must feel like a shit monster. I know that feeling very, very well. But I'm here for you. Here to help you in any way that I can." Bo dropped her arms and her accusatory voice.
"I don't want to have to be dependent on you or anyone else, Bo. That's why Vivian and Megan aren't at their posts. There's no threat. Nothing here. I want my freedom back. My own life. My own choices. I chose you over leaving the Fae world and I nearly died for it. I lost the use of my legs and used your blood as a knee jerk solution. I should have used as little of it as possible. That may have staved off my hands instantly melting things." Lauren brushed her face with her hands.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there, Lauren. I will always carry that guilt but you shouldn't carry the guilt of what you've done. It is dangerous for you to be experimenting with whatever the hell all of that is. I am not a scientist but all of those needles and strange equipment doesn't look or sound like it is going to help you like you want it to. I will help you. Let me be your medical equipment. Your labs. Whatever you need. Don't harm yourself again trying to reverse what has already been done." Bo stepped towards the blonde.
"I have never had to be dependent on anyone. I was stuck in the fae world because Nadia had to be dependent on me. I had to reverse her curse to free us both. I have cursed myself and I'm stuck with it. The only difference is, I am not in a coma. I'm a walking pod patient." Lauren pushed some papers to the floor and Bo jumped at the violence behind it.
"There is nothing wrong with you that we can't fix together, Lauren. I am not suggesting a relationship because you are far away from needing or wanting that. I'm here as your friend. We will figure this out. You want to poke and prod someone? Here are my arms and veins. I am dark and light. That has to account for some good and bad inside of me. You are a good woman, we will help you get better, together." Bo held her arms up and dropped them.
"I don't know, Bo. That still sounds like dependency." Lauren shook her head.
"It is not. We are friends. I am a friend helping a friend. There is nothing more important to me than that. Nothing more important to me than your happiness and well-being." Bo spoke softly as she started to clean up Lauren's mess all over the floor.
Lauren watched the succubus stack papers and pick up broken equipment. She almost smiled at the irony. Bo is being the patient one and Lauren is a time bomb. "Go to bed, sweetie. We'll start in the morning." Bo spoke softly as she walked out of the room and closed the door behind her. Lauren stood watching the door as if it would open again. As if Bo would walk in again with answers to Lauren's burning question. She sighed, showered and climbed in bed.
Bo
Bo had showered and plopped down on her bed. The shower had failed her just as she had failed Lauren. Failed to take the pain away. Failed to stop Bo's tears from falling. She let them fall too. They deserve to fall. When Lauren is hurting, she hurts too. She closed her mouth when it suddenly dawned on her that she had been failing the blonde since their first time. Had she stayed and let Lauren explain her intentions, she wouldn't need to be trying to get the doctor to trust her again. Bo has never been wordy with her feelings. She felt her actions spoke them clearly. But what action had they spoken when she walked out on Lauren? Leaving her dressed in nothing but her bed sheet. They had spoken of pettiness and cruelty. When Dyson told her about Saskia, she stormed out but turned around long enough for him to explain. She even went to the Dal to hear Trick's side of the story. She promised Lauren a talk that was weeks in the making. If the blonde has lost her trust in Bo, Bo gave her the blueprint for it. If love is never having to say you are sorry, Bo has to say it and keep saying it until Lauren knows the real Bo again. "Damn it." She whispered and slammed her head against her pillows, repeatedly.
When morning came, Lauren found Bo fully dressed and sitting on the stairs. "Bo?."
"If we are going to talk about blood, who better to talk to than the Blood King." Bo gently tapped her foot.
"No. I don't want his help. I don't want to owe him or anyone back there anything." Lauren shook her head so hard it looked like she was trying to relieve tension in her neck.
"It was just an idea. Time for breakfast, then." Bo pulled her jacket off as she walked down the stairs.
"Lauren." Vivian approached the doctor. Lauren simply held her hand up as the four of them walked to the dining room for breakfast. Bo hated it, but she couldn't pick a fight and upset Lauren. She thought they had turned a corner but she turned one last night. Every thought in her head will be about helping Lauren. Not just because she loves her but because it is the right thing to do. That includes not looking at Vivian and reading her aura around the doctor. It is almost amusing since she knows that Lauren doesn't need a relationship right now. She needs support and she's going to get it.
"I just want to eat." Lauren replied as she picked her fork up.
"We have orders to protect you. We won't fail at that." Vivian picked her own fork up and started eating. Bo ignored the jab at Lauren needing to be protected from her. She doesn't need to respond because Lauren's silence did it for her.
"I shouldn't have to say this, but I will. I don't want a relationship right now. I don't even want to date anyone. If there is a succubus here that can't accept that or doesn't want to accept that, she is free to leave, right now." Lauren looked every woman in the eye and went back to her food. Their silence and keeping their seats spoke for them.
Bo bowed her head and ate her food. Her succubus has always wanted to ravage the woman at any given moment. Having Lauren speak directly to her, sparked her nature for a brief moment.
"I actually do need all of your help. I want to try and stop this." Lauren used a fork to show them what she was talking about.
"I suggested going to Trick but Lauren doesn't want that. If you two have any ideas or know someone that can help Lauren, let's hear it or call the people you know." Bo spoke up.
"If I solve this on my own or with your help, a relationship with me, won't be the payout. My heart is not up for grabs right now. Not as long as my body is doing this." Lauren made eye contact around the table again.
"Trick is a good idea but if you don't want his help, we can ask around, privately of course. Or summon the Ash and the Morrigan." Megan leaned forward.
"Evony, she can melt shit. Want to ask her, Lauren?." Bo turned to the woman.
"Same as Trick, no." Lauren shook her head.
"Just a thought." Bo spoke softly. She finished her food and rubbed her chin. "There has to be a way. Something to stop that."
"How did you stop it the last time?." Vivian asked.
"You don't want to know." It took all Bo had not to smile but she restrained herself.
"I see." Vivian raised an eyebrow. "Well, I still think we should reach out to Hale or Evony. They have to know someone that can help."
"I don't want to owe anyone or feel the need to have to pay them back if they help." Lauren pushed her plate forward and drank her milk.
"Put that as a condition." Megan suggested.
"No. I don't want that either." Lauren replied.
Bo rubbed her chin again. A thought dawned on her but she needed to get Lauren alone for her to speak it out loud. "Lauren, may I speak with you in private?."
"Bo." Lauren sighed.
"It is important, Lauren." Bo held her hands up innocently.
"Okay." Lauren stood and Bo followed her.
"No, Vivian. You heard what Lauren said, she doesn't want a relationship. Be her friend and maybe someday it will get to that point for the two of you. But Bo has years with the woman. Think about that while you're thinking about Lauren." Megan drank some juice and set the glass down.
"She's just so wonderful and Bo doesn't deserve any relationship, friendship or otherwise with her." Vivian watched the birds playing outside.
"That may be true but it's not your decision. It is not Bo's decision. It is Lauren's. Accept her as a friend, now, or lose her forever." Megan stood and finished her juice. Vivian nodded and stood when the staff approached the table. The women walked to the living room and took their seats waiting for Lauren and Bo to return.
Lauren and Bo.
"What do you want to talk to me about, Bo?." Lauren asked.
Bo stood watching the woman. Realizing she had taken too long to reply, she did. "Lauren, I have two suggestions to help you. You might want to sit while I explain them." She gestured to a plush couch behind the woman. Lauren half rolled her eyes and dropped down on the couch.
Bo rubbed just beneath her eye and began. "First, none of this is meant to be insulting but you wouldn't have been in this position had you listened to me about Tamsin and not felt the need to run. I probably could have helped you before you used my blood. That's not an insult to you as it is more to me. I need to be more vocal and you need to know the real me. When I first met all of you, I found your weaknesses. Kenzi's was because of my succubus being able to fight people. Dyson's was because of my succubus and how easily I gave myself to him. Trick's was being my grandfather. You. Being a doctor, you weren't that easy but I was drawn to you in a way I wasn't with anyone else. What I'm getting at is, you didn't get the chance to explain about the Ash because I didn't give you the chance too. Not like I did with Aife and Dyson. He got his talk the same day he told me the truth. You had to wait weeks. Well, I'm done doing that to you because it is the reason you didn't let me explain about Tamsin. You knew how to push me away because I gave you the blueprint on how to do it.
I'm getting to my point." Bo raised a hand as Lauren sighed. "Lauren I can still help you. I am just not sure you will like how I propose to do it. The first is that we get police fingerprint equipment. That way you can take my fingerprints and touch the results to calm your own hands down. Sounds silly but that's my first suggestion. Two." She took a long breath before she started again. "We can get started on those babies that we both want. Now, I know. I know. You aren't ready to date. But I know I want you for the rest of my life. People have kids without being a couple yet. It sounds cheesy and far presumptuous but those are my suggestions. I didn't want to mention this in front of the others because these are my private thoughts and I know Vivian is as hungry for you as I am."
Lauren watched Bo. The succubus was sweating and tense through her whole speech. While Lauren did recognize most of what she said to be true, the rest left her spellbound and stuck to speak. The fingerprints idea sounds genius but it's so messy and would take up too much of Bo's time and the need for Bo to be around to even give fresh prints for Lauren to use. "Bo, your ideas are very thoughtful and good but I don't want a baby until I marry and the fingerprints thing sounds complicated because you would be stuck with black fingertips and the need to be wherever I am when an episode strikes. So, I'm sorry that you had to say all of that."
"Lauren, I love you. I will be wherever you need me to be. Not off on some case that should have been my last priority with you at first. I thought of those things because they made sense and the kids thing will always be there for me with you." Bo took a seat and leaned forward.
"I know you love me, Bo. Otherwise you wouldn't have been here this long. This is my mistake to fix. I just have to figure out how to fix it without owing favors to anyone." Lauren spoke as softly as she could. Fae Bo wants a child with human Lauren. That itself is touching and genetically impossible. Or so she thought long before having Bo's blood in her veins. She is half Fae herself, now.
"I can wait. I will wait. I will be right here with anything you want to try to fix this. Your health and happiness is more important to me than anything." Bo leaned back in her seat when the blonde did. They sat looking at each other. Bo blushed thinking she was looking too intently at the blonde.
"I don't know." Lauren sighed looking at her hands. They weren't glowing or warm at the moment but the thought of them doing that again stays on her mind.
"I would hold your hands. I would hold you. Anything to keep you happy and at peace with your own skin and body. I know what it is like to be scared of what you are, what you can be or what could happen next. That's how I was until I met you and you told me what I am. Then you helped me to control her. Until the Lich and those freaks at the sex club thought they could touch you and she came out. We may not be a couple, Lauren, but our lives have been linked since the day I met you. They will stay that way as far as I am concerned. Friends or not. New relationship or not." Bo whispered.
"Bo, I know this is all hard for you. You want me but I'm not ready. You love me but I'm not sure. I can't ask you to stick around given how I am right now. You can't deny your nature and I can't deny mine of wanting to find answers. It is how I think. How I always think. Everything has to make sense to me. I have to know answers to every question that I have. I didn't stick around to hear your apologies and answers about Tamsin because I felt smothered by your whole clique. Kenzi was okay but Tamsin and Dyson swarmed around you like bees to honey. I know Vivian likes me. While it is flattering, it is not reciprocated because I need to fix myself before I can damage someone else's life while I am not me." Lauren licked her dry lips.
Bo leaned forward and took Lauren's hands. She gently squeezed. Nothing was happening. They weren't getting warm. They weren't changing colors. "I see."
"It won't happen while I'm touching you." Lauren shook her head.
Bo lifted her head and leaned towards the woman. When Lauren didn't move, she kissed her. They felt it. Lauren's hands turned warm, dulled and Bo's eyes turned blue. The only thing melting between them was Lauren's feelings towards the brunette.
"Well." Bo cleared her throat as she pulled back. "We've still got work to do." She frowned as Lauren sat watching her hands. Bo nodded knowing as long as Lauren doesn't know how to control her hands, she won't think about them being more than friends at all. Her kiss wasn't the same either. Bo's succubus felt the pull when her hands warmed and dulled during their kiss. Everything about them is in Lauren's hands. Everything about Bo and her heart certainly is.
TBC