- Well, Lana, we arrived at Labmed, but we couldn't get in with the piece of granite that was stopping your bleeding. When we removed the piece, not even with telekinesis could Jean stop your bleeding and the tissue degradation in your legs. She didn't understand why it was happening, and that made me really worried! I ran ahead, asked Hank to gather all the available synthetic blood stock, and we prepared to at least try to keep you from dying. We weren't sure if we'd be able to bring you back, you know? The tissue damage was so extensive that amputation seemed almost certain. When Bobby asked why I didn't donate my blood to you, I almost kissed that popsicle! Hank looked at me with a "well, of course" expression, and I thought, "how stupid was I?" I grabbed the nearest gurney, started inserting an IV in myself while Hank prepared yours, and we began the transfusion... Of course, we didn't think about all the potential problems that could occur, especially since you had already received a transfusion when you were a child and might have some rejection! Besides, it seems my type 'E' blood isn't as good once it leaves my bloodstream, but the fact was that we were losing you, part by part, and didn't want to risk overthinking and miss the chance of a miracle.

- Is that what happened, Logan? Was your blood a miracle for me? - she asked, continuing to narrate:

- As soon as your body received it, you had two epileptic seizures, and I was mentally saying goodbye and cursing you for talking about how short your life would be. It sucked that you were so smart, both in your damn calculations and in your lifespan predictions. But after that first shock, your blood loss stopped, and your tissues, using my healing factor, began to regenerate. Hank and I didn't expect the speed to be the same as my body, seeing the effect of my blood in another body made me so proud, like I wasn't just a machine made to kill the enemies of peaceful coexistence, but also a being capable of providing salvation. Who knows what Hank could do with my blood after analyzing it more calmly? He collected samples and ran various tests. But he came back with a desolate look, quoting Shakespeare or some other writer. According to him, none of the tests produced the same results as with you. He said once taken, my blood changes its properties when in contact with other cell cultures and does nothing significantly different from the synthetic blood we use. According to him, the fact that we are so opposite might have been the reason for the success. But he couldn't scientifically explain the fact. "There are more mysteries between heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy." After six hours, your functions were restored, and the big blue guy brought you out of the induced coma, hoping that the blood loss before the transfusion hadn't affected your brain somehow... I think you can narrate from here, right?

I nodded and continued:

- I opened my eyes, feeling no pain, with an energy and vitality I had never felt before and saw you sitting on the sofa next to me, taking such a nice nap, I didn't dare interrupt. But I was thirsty, and when I moved my hand towards the cabinet next to me, I made some noise that woke you up. You asked how I was doing, and strangely, I responded: fantastic, but very thirsty. You got up, seemed a bit dizzy, and grabbed a bottle from that same cabinet, but not before asking Beast if I could drink water. Slowly, he answered; less than a sip at a time and then you disappeared with my water bottle and only came back when you found a straw in that chaos. While doing that, I noticed the amount of blood in the room, the IVs and blood bags scattered on the floor, and realized how much you all fought for me. Until that moment, I didn't know about the "fresh" transfusion, but when I managed to sit up on the gurney to drink the water and realized the perfection of my legs, I knew something very special had happened. I thought it was the S'hiar technology responsible for that miracle, touched my legs, crying, and thanked Hank from the bottom of my heart; his response stunned me: "It's not me you should thank, Lana. It was thanks to Bobby's idea and Logan's consent that we performed the transfusion with his blood, if it weren't for that, even with all our technology, I wouldn't have been able to bring you back whole... Your legs were shattered, my dear."

- And, incredibly, your eyes lit up, and you said: Bobby?! You did it on purpose, didn't you?

I laughed sarcastically:

- Of course, I did it on purpose. Coming back from the dead to see your devastated face is priceless, Logan! You keep such a safe distance between us that I don't dare break it, you know? But at that moment, when my eyes were filled with tears, I really wanted to hug you!

And not waiting for any response from him, I did what I wanted to do a few minutes ago, carefully moved my legs off the gurney, touched the floor with my feet, and in front of him, hugged him, crying copiously. The Canadian didn't immediately return my hug. I felt the energy of his hands not knowing where to touch me, going first to my head, then to my shoulders and back.

- Thank you, Logan! You saved my life! No one has ever done something so great for me before. - I kept whispering thanks, knowing that with his super sharp senses, no word escaped. We stayed like that for several minutes, until my crying stopped, and I was able to take a step back, raising my face and looking into his eyes. I noticed slight moisture on his lower lashes, and when he looked at me, I was flooded with the most genuine sense of gratitude. The loss of senses in those blue sapphires was incomparable to anything I had felt before, again, I lost the ability to breathe, but this time it didn't bother me, my heart slowed down, and a serenity filled me, but it lasted only long enough to understand the reason for what came next, when he blinked a bit slower and, with his characteristic thunderous voice, said:

- Where were you thinking, going into the eye of the storm, Lana?! You could have died, you stubborn girl!

None of this shook me. I replied:

- I couldn't delegate tasks, you understand... When I realized the madness I had done, I was already there. Then it was too late, you know? I acted on impulse, I think you understand...

- Her... Of course, if there's one thing I understand, it's acting on impulse. Even so, girl! You were next to the greatest telepath on Earth and did one of these?

- What do you want, huh? An apology? I can't undo what I did, Logan. I needed to prove to myself that I was capable. But from the outcome, it's clear that I'm not, right? So - I replied still calmly, as if analyzing myself from outside -, sorry, okay? I never needed to play on a team to come out winning, I always managed that through the strength of my arguments and my own effort. I thought this situation could be the same. Sorry.

- Okay, girl... It's not that big a deal. With the right suit, a plan in mind, and self-defense training, it's possible to do a bit more than just sit on the bench. - he comments, realizing how much he overreacted in his concern.

- Oh, no! I will make sure to stay on the bench next time, you know? And I hope not to have any correct calculations for many years... This one took eight and a half years, so, may the next one take at least that long, amen? - I imitated a cross sign. - But, curiously, now I just want to get out of this infirmary! I want to see the sunset we helped create, you know? I'm so full of energy that I could eat a lot of pita bread with salad!

Logan laughed and asked Hank if I could leave the infirmary, but I didn't wait for the answer. Even wearing a hospital gown, I took my first steps, sure that there was nothing broken or even slightly out of place in my legs. The recovery was perfect, really, like a miracle! When both turned to say I was cleared, I was almost at the door, and Logan, with a short run, quickly caught up with me, holding my hand:

- Hey! What's the rush?

- Well, if I miss this sunset, I'll never see another like today's, right? We need to go now, come on!

Smiling to the side in such a charming way - how had I never noticed before? - he walked ahead of me, making the door open automatically, and we talked about trivial things until we reached the hill. There, he took off his jacket for me to sit on. Only then did I realize how much my backside was showing and blushed! This made him laugh, but left me feeling very uncomfortable. During my adolescence, I was led to believe that any intercourse with the opposite sex would make me bleed to death due to the breaking of my hymen. Out of curiosity, despite taking a long time to investigate this concept, I discovered that my mother's fear was unfounded, as half of women do not bleed during their first sexual encounter... But how was I to know if I was part of that 50%, right? Consequently, I postponed my love life, stopped seeing myself as romantic material, and completely blocked these thoughts from my mind, burying myself in studies and calculations to fill the void in that part of my existence. Sensing my silence, the Canadian asked:

- Are you okay, Lana? Did I hit a nerve? Don't leave me in the dark here...

- Yeah, that's not fair, right? Expecting people to guess or figure things out.

- Ah! You're not going to get anything from me; my mutation is far from involving the mind, especially the female mind... Sorry... - he said this without looking directly at me. He was watching some birds, probably storks, flying in a "v" formation. I observed them for a while before commenting:

- There's no easy way to say this, you know? But I need to know something before I tell my side: do your provocations have any basis in that reverse psychology crap you talked about earlier? Every time you try to push me away, is it because you actually want me close, Logan? - and my brown eyes looked at him with all the sincerity I could muster. After a few moments of suspense, he turned to face me. He took a deep breath, licked his lips, and replied:

- Look, I'm a complicated guy, as you've probably noticed by now, Lana. But I do like having you around more than having you away... I just don't know how long it can last, you know? Until I feel some pressure and run away. I've already told you I have that tendency, right?

- Yes, and that honesty is a big positive in you. If someone creates expectations, it's at their own risk. You never hid your feelings for Jean, even when you knew so little about me; you also made it clear you're not attached to anything or anyone, while still considering these people and this place your home. I feel like your home could be on the other side of the world too, you know?

- Look, that's a pretty good guess. I've got my stories in Japan and Madripoor. Yeah, I guess being almost immortal makes me not hold on to anything because I know I'll eventually lose everything I get attached to... - and he let out a long sigh.

The hues of the sunset were still there, even though the sun was no longer visible. We watched those colors for a few minutes before I asked:

- And what if I accepted and could be detached? You know, because of my mutation, I ended up avoiding relationships for fear of getting hurt - and he raised an eyebrow, interested in hearing more -, you know? The first time...

- Oh! That... No, then I'm not the ideal person for you, you know?

- What do you mean? That choice isn't yours...

- Look, I think the words "virgin" and "detached" can't be in the same sentence. Would you want a jerk taking your virginity and disappearing afterward? Because I could very well be that guy, you know? And you'd remember me for the rest of your life. Is that what you'd want?

- Let me get this straight: you're assuming that I, as a virgin, want the same man by my side every day? Like a little princess dreaming of Prince Charming? Oh, come on!

- You almost described Scott, and I'm the opposite of him, Lana!

- Exactly! The opposite of him, my opposite; my father used to say that opposites attract and complement each other, you know? I don't think you'd be a jerk while taking my virginity, right? You'd be one if you disappeared afterward; but by then, I'd already have the experience with "the best at what he does" to remember forever...

- You know that phrase doesn't end well, right? Since "what I do isn't nice"... And you're a nice woman! You deserve a nice guy, got it? Even though my hormones are screaming to accept your laid-back proposal, my other senses think it'd be really unfair to do that to you...

- And that just makes me even more certain that I want you to be the first, Logan! Imagine, even before anything happens, you're already thinking you're unworthy, you could give me something magical, as magical as saving my life. You know I'll remember this forever, right? Your image is already ingrained in me, I could even say in my veins, without risking being called a liar, huh?

He chuckled lightly, lay down on the grass, and I lay down beside him, feeling the night's chill on my backside. He offered his arm for me to rest my head on, and when I looked at the sky and saw it filled with stars, my focus almost automatically shifted to numbers. I had to shake my head to stop being a "nerd" and enjoy the moment.

- What was that? Are you okay?

- Sure! I can't look at the sky without starting to form a bunch of equations in my mind, you know, nerd stuff - and we both said the word that most defines me at the same time.

- Look, girl, once you open that other door, let's say, the back door - and we laughed - your concentration on equations might never be the same. Doesn't that worry you?

- Logan, you should know I'm not a man, right? Men have difficulty multitasking; well... I don't think it would affect my mathematical abilities that much. But thinking about whether it will or won't is the same as not investing in this area until now out of fear of something that might not happen.

- Hey! We don't think about sex 24/7, okay?... Aren't I here, lying down with you on the grass, just chilling?

- Because I haven't provoked you yet, right? I'm just chilling too...

- So we can agree on this: when you're sure of what you want, try to provoke me, and we'll see if I respond, kitten... - and he went back to looking at the sky, somehow knowing that the provocation wouldn't come that night.

The next two weeks flew by. The X-Men had to go on almost three missions a week. Because of that, I focused on my studies and calculations. On Fridays, we had self-defense classes with Professor Kitty Pryde, who proudly said she learned everything from Wolverine. Another big fan of the Canadian was Jubilee, who defended him even when everything was against him. Even when Scott accused him of unnecessary violence. I also noticed Ororo's affection for him, and despite his certainty, I saw how Jean always flirted with him in Scott's absence. He was surrounded by the most powerful women on the planet, and I had a very good theory that even Wonder Woman might have thrown some charm his way! What chances did I have? It must have been easy for him to turn me down that night on the hill... This slowly drove me away from him, and when I completed a month at the school and was called to the Professor's office, I had no doubts that I didn't belong there. I noticed he could sense my pain but didn't ask for explanations, perhaps because I didn't have any at that moment. This wasn't me, I never felt defeated in life, but being among those incredible beings made me feel so small. When I mentally replayed my dialogue on the hill, I felt ashamed of myself. I went to my room to pack my things, and when I was almost done, I heard a knock on the door:

- Come in.

I was surprised to see Jean Grey:

- Sorry, I couldn't help but overhear your cry of pain, and since you're leaving, I think this is the best time for us to talk, Lana...

- Sure, Jean. Would you like to sit down? - I offered her the chair by the vanity, while I sat on the bed.

- What you did on that battlefield, Lana, is far from being something "small"... Especially considering the difficulties of your mutation. - and my lips twisted into a wry smile - I've never been prouder to assist someone than at that moment because you were playing with all odds against you! And I've never seen Logan so absorbed and worried about anyone before. He cares about you, and his concerns are legitimate because he doesn't think like us mere mortals, you know? Whenever he realizes he's interested in someone, he self-sabotages. Why do you think he claims to like me so much? Because he knows it's platonic, Lana! I can flirt with him, but I'll always prefer Scott. Now, you want to know something scary? Being the first for someone much younger than him! Leaving such a mark, knowing he will take a long time to age and you, like me, will probably die long before him. You can keep certain memories for a while; he, however, will keep that moment forever, Lana!

- Let's be honest, it's a very poetic way to describe a coward, isn't it?! - and we both laughed.

- Yes, I said the greatest feeling is fear... But we're always dealing with the unpredictable here, aren't we? He can't know what being with you will bring up until he tries and vice versa... I heard how his blood behaved differently after it entered your body, didn't it? So, who can guarantee that the romantic experience wouldn't be a turning point?

- No, Jean... I don't want to have that hope because that's not what I proposed to him. I said I was okay with being unattached, and even so, he rejected me on that hill... He told me to provoke him when I was sure of what I wanted. The thing is, my certainty never changed, but I realized the reasons for his refusal the more I stayed here and got to know you all. This place doesn't belong to me, any place that puts you down doesn't belong to you. And that's how I feel here, someone beneath everyone and who will never have a chance with him. So, I appreciate your attempt. I know myself, I know my feelings haven't changed, and if he wanted, I would do my best to be "cool," after all, I already feel him inside me, in my veins, pumping so much energy and well-being that it even makes me feel bad!

- I understand, Lana... I disagree with your conclusions and understand that both of you are scared of the consequences of something like this, but I respect your decision to leave. I wish you much success on your journey, okay? I think the Professor might have mentioned it, but I reiterate that you'll always have a room here. Always! - and she got up, waving goodbye.

I packed my bag, stopped by the Professor's office, and received an invitation to continue being a consultant for the X-Men, which I gratefully accepted. He also told me about a building in the city's suburbs, owned by his family, where I could live. Since he noticed how much I liked motorcycles, he lent me a very stylish one, with several "X" designs embedded and a matte black color. I clumsily strapped my bag to the passenger seat of the bike and left, without looking back. The farther I got from the mansion, the more my self-confidence returned. Being there was definitely toxic for me...

The address led me to a very quiet neighborhood, in a four-story building. I noticed Logan's bike parked and stopped mine beside it. When I opened the door, he was in the small hallway, sitting on the step, fiddling with his phone. He quickly put it away and stood up, looking a bit awkward. I had to start talking:

- Hello, Logan. Good to see you here, do you also escape here when you can't stand the crowd at the institute?

- Is that what you did, darling? Ran away?

- Well, actually, no. I was going to leave without knowing where to return, I was going to try Texas again, but then Professor Xavier said the institute has a grant for consultants, and we came to an agreement. - noticing the change in the Canadian's expression, I realized something. - Wait, this grant doesn't exist? - he shook his head.

- Nope... He made that up to give you some security but, at the same time, not lose you... You said you couldn't stand the crowd?

- I said that about you, Logan...

- Yeah, but maybe there's a mirror in that sentence. Why did you leave the institute, Lana?

- Because I've never felt so oppressed in a place before! At first, I almost considered it my home, there was such a strange and scary familiarity, but the next day I started having strange thoughts, of self-deprecation, of sadness. Well, I couldn't continue like that. That's not me. I'm determined and active, so yes. If you think of it that way, I ran away. Happy?

He straightened up as if he had been attacked by several ants and said:

- Of course, I'm not happy! I was waiting for some provocation from you, you know? - and he tried a smile that ended up looking like a grimace.

That phrase scared me a little... Could Jean be a gossip? If she was, I wouldn't take back anything I said to her. And with my silence, the mutant decided to speak, confirming my suspicions:

- And what was that Jane Austen talk about your feelings not having changed, huh?

- Gossip! - I spat, through clenched teeth, while making a surprised face at him mentioning Jane Austen.

- Actually, I heard your own words because Jean connected me telepathically with you before she entered the room. I said it wasn't a good idea, but she insisted, and out of curiosity, I agreed... And don't find it so strange, I was born a few years after "Pride and Prejudice" was released, and it was a very popular book. - trying to apologize. I shook my head and said:

- What parts, exactly, did you "hear"?

- Well, there was a lot of inferiority feelings. I saw the image of Jean, Ororo, and even Diana, imposing, strong, and you always representing yourself as frail and pale, something you're not, at least not to those who know you a bit... And then I heard the whole conversation.

- So you're here because I called you a coward?

- Heh, of course not! I know I'm not... And I'm sorry if I made you think I wasn't interested in you. It's... complicated... But if you're up for that no-strings-attached involvement, I'm in!

I bet he wanted to see my eyes sparkle, my arms open, and me running for a hug, then us having crazy sex. But instead, I said:

- No, Logan. - and he fell silent - On the way here, I managed to think clearly, and I'm not going to belittle what I feel for you to fit into your reality. Either you agree to seriously try some involvement with this opposite of yours, or I'll find someone who wants to. And I hope if I find a serial killer, you feel very bad about it!

We fell silent, he sometimes started to say something, but it all died before leaving his mouth. I don't know how he managed to keep that up for so long, but I ended up speaking:

- I'm not asking for exclusivity because I've understood for a long time how the human animal is practically incapable of that... Being descendants of apes, we have a lot in common with them, and most don't practice monogamy. But what I want is you choosing, sometimes, to spend the night, you know? That we start thinking about coming back, sharing some dreams or hopes, like when we watched the sunset. Now it's my turn to talk: think about it, and if you find that you can truly commit to doing that, just provoke me. - and I smiled at him, aiming to climb the stairs to the second floor where the Professor let me stay.

But as I passed by the Canadian and climbed one more step, he grabbed my bag and offered to help me. If that wasn't a provocation, I don't know what it could be. I accepted, and my body trembled slightly as I climbed the second flight of stairs. The door was right in front, with a Gothic number two, but before I started climbing those steps, I heard Logan placing my bag on the floor, and I thought: now he's going to run down those stairs, and I'll never see him again. But I don't regret imposing my rules! I sighed and turned to grab my bag from the floor, but the Canadian was still beside it, looking at me in a different way, one I didn't know yet:

- You're right, girl. There's no way we can know if something will work out if it starts wrong, and I was being cautious not to raise false hopes, you know? - I nodded while thinking, "better late than never!". - But you don't deserve that. You really deserve someone who is 100% with you, and, through thick and thin, I can be that someone. Do you really agree? Will you let this Wolverine into your life?

- Like I said, airhead, my feelings haven't changed much...

- Haven't changed much?

- Yeah. They've matured a bit more, you know? And if you think you're complicated, it's because you don't know me yet... I'm extremely slow when it comes to romance, dating, love, and sex.

- I noticed, you didn't catch my hint about the wolverine "entering" your life... - and he laughed heartily. I blushed!

- Ah, Logan! I don't know if you'll have that much patience...

- Hey, I will, Lana! Everything in its own time. This is something I can afford, and since you haven't had this part of your life, I can go a bit slow... If you want...

I stopped to think, even placing my right hand under my chin. I could see his eyes pleading with me not to want that, and honestly, the more stages I could skip, the better! I climbed two steps and turned to respond:

- You know what: I don't want all the mushiness of dating! I'm already over thirty! Come here, come on, wolverine! - and I opened my arms, throwing my head back and laughing.

It was simultaneous, as my head tilted back, I felt a breeze towards me and he lifted his face, from my belly up to be face to face with me, inhaling deeply as he hugged and kissed my neck. His stubble tickled and I kept laughing, even after returning the hug. I was taken aback when he picked me up and climbed the steps so quickly, stopping in front of the door and putting me down. I opened the door without knowing what to expect, but if you ask me to describe it, I have no idea! I turned back to him, who again gave me that unfamiliar look, was it lust? Desire? And then he picked me up again, while kissing my mouth urgently. I realized that I could still hold my breath longer than usual. Would his blood components last as if they were mine? For how long? Days? Or months? Certainly, for that moment, I would need his healing factor, and this thought made me stop trying to respond to the kiss, making him look at me:

- What's wrong? Too fast? - he put me down and I realized we were already in the bedroom, he caressed my hair.

- Sorry! No, it's perfect, really!

- Hey, a penny for your thoughts, girl... I'm not a telepath, help me out, will you?

- Right! - and I explained to him my doubts if I still had the healing factor or if I would bleed nonstop and turn that moment into a horror movie.

- I got it, see if my proposal is acceptable: I'll make an effort, take a cold shower and tomorrow we'll talk to Hank, so he can know if there's still a healing factor in you, what do you say? He had asked me to give you this message anyway. He wants to see you every month and today marks a month since your transfusion, right?

- You would do that?... Really?

- Of course! Maybe I lied about the cold shower and will have to take care of myself, but how I resolve it doesn't matter, right? After all, you gave me plenty of material for that! - and he laughed loudly, while heading to the bathroom.

- Ah! Logan! You don't need to tell me all the details, please! - I said, without shouting, knowing he would hear.

Then I paid attention to the loft I was in. Everything was very sober and impersonal, but nothing was missing. The floors, except for the open kitchen, were dark wood and all the structures were dark metal. The bricks were exposed and the furniture was light, contrasting with the construction. Curiously, I went to the fridge and it was full of fresh items. The Professor really thought of everything! I heard the shower running and started making a French press coffee, and when I was already holding my cup, I heard his footsteps coming down the stairs:

- What a fragrant coffee! - he declared.

I was going to say there was a hot cup waiting for him, but I couldn't articulate any words when I saw him only in a towel, drying his hair with a hand towel, and again, I stopped breathing. I needed to stop doing that... But what was that, by the gods?! I kept wondering if he did it on purpose, to give me material for a night of fantasies, or if he was simply perfect like that? Damn!

- Breathe, Lana! - he commented, blushing slightly and resting the smaller towel on the railing while serving himself a cup of coffee and making sounds of how delicious it was.

My breathing "kicked in" and I instinctively coughed, making him hug me, with his bare chest and lightly patting my back. I felt my neck burning, and when I tried to step away from him, he took my hands, which were small compared to his, and placed them on his chest:

- I think you better touch, take advantage of the fact that you don't have to pay anything, huh? - laughing at my lack of intimacy.

His muscles were firm and his chest hair, a bit coarser than his beard, was bristly; since he wanted to do this, I took the opportunity and slid my hands down to his "ripped" abs but didn't overdo it, he didn't deserve that, you know... When I heard a more desirous moan, I moved my hands to his back and rested my head almost at the height of his bare shoulder. I could swear I felt a slight tremor from him, but I decided to keep that sensation to myself. He rested his chin on my head and hugged me again. I don't know where his arms were before, but now, they were caressing my hair and part of my face. We stayed like that for a while. He was breathing deeply and I felt him move when my cheeks were less warm, he seemed to wait for my temperature to drop, since his was always a bit warmer due to his accelerated metabolism.

- There's a really good restaurant nearby for dinner, do you want to go?

For me, I could stay days hugging like that, "feeding" off him, but I nodded, still unable to speak due to the adrenaline of the moment. Another sip of coffee helped my dry mouth:

- I'll change. What kind of outfit should I wear for the restaurant?

- Surprise me, since I can always change plans about the place, babe.