Sorry, Charlie

by CHOOSELIFE

Third story in the Charlie series. This story picks up two and a half years after Drake's last overdose. Ricardo has forced him to clean up his act, but still Drake can't seem to get away from his past. Everyday is a fight to stay clean and now that he doesn't have his favorite red pills, his depression and anxiety are just as hard to kick as his drug addiction.

20. Recovering, Reconnecting, Revenge

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I just received a really nice review from a guest on this story, which has been inactive for quite a while. I did actually already have the full thing written, but editing was such a chore, so I never got around to posting the end. I was just talking to a friend the other day about how I pretty much abandoned the story, so that plus the new review made me feel like I needed to finish posting so the story is available in full.

The thing is, my writing style has greatly changed since I wrote this, so I wouldn't even know how to begin going over it and fixing it up. Therefore, I'm just gonna post it as is. If you see a word or phrase marked with (*), that was just a note for myself that something needed to be italicized. I tried to go over it and catch them all, but I might've missed some. If you see any I missed, let me know and I'll fix it.

Guest, I hope you're see that this story has updated.

Previously: Drake and Dahlia/Clementine/Clem stay having drama. The latest is that she tagged him in a Facebook post revealing intimate details and half-truths about their relationship and sex-life, and she included a video of Drake having sex with a random guy.

---

Oof.

A bitch snapped!

[laugh emoji] [laugh emoji] [laugh emoji] [laugh emoji] [laugh emoji] [laugh emoji] [laugh emoji] [laugh emoji] [laugh emoji] [laugh emoji]

Drake felt sick to his stomach as he scrolled through the many comments. It was unreal how much traffic Dahlia's Facebook post was getting, even with their popularity put together. More and more comments and reacts appeared each minute.

SIS DRAG HIMMMMMM!

damn

so the weddings off?

Wait is drake gay?

This is really low and unnecessary. Handle your problems off the internet.

[see-no-evil monkey emoji] [laugh emoji] [laugh emoji]

what a douche

Ur disgusting sharing his experiences like that

I dated him for like 2 secs in high school until my dad caught him raiding our medicine cabinet and stealing our shit

kys drake

Oh shit, girl! [laugh emoji] [laugh emoji] [air horn emoji]

He's really enjoying himself in that vid...

so srry u had to go thru that baby girl [cry emoji] call me if you wanna talk

SPILL. THE. TEA. [tea emoji]

delete this

Reported

Drake, where ya at?

[surprised emoji] [popcorn emoji]

thought this guy died 3 years ago?

I like to eat at the truck stop diner and I def used to always see him there hanging outside the bathrooms

Are you serious? As your former roommate, I just wanna say that you left out way too many of the facts to make yourself look good. drake did everything for you and you manipulated him and treated him like absolute garbage. Unlike you, I'm not gonna air out a bunch of your dirty laundry. I mean, I would but drake wouldn't want that and I don't wanna embarrass him. I just wanted to say my piece and let it be known that this entire post is a load of shit. drake, if you're reading this, you know me and brett love you and we're here for you.

OMG DAHLIA! [laugh emoji] [laugh emoji]

ngl i'd smash. drake hmu if you need money [laugh emoji]

now THIS is how u suck a dick. ladies please take note some of ya need some help

kys prick

You can tell he's done this before

Say no to meth, kids.

Josh Nichols ur bro?

Better get checked. He's got to have at least 5 std's.

who knew all of that was hidden in those tight jeans u always wore [wink emoji] dm me. I like to party too

[fire emoji] [fire emoji] [devil emoji]

And I oop—

Freakyyyy

Addiction is hard on everyone involved and if you haven't actually experienced what it's like to have a loved one go through that, then you shouldn't be talking.

[laugh emoji] [laugh emoji] [laugh emoji] [laugh emoji] [laugh emoji]

what a fucking jerk. what he went through doesn't give him the right to treat people like that. he'll get what's coming to him, girl. karma's a bitch!

[crab emoji] [crab emoji] [crab emoji]

DIE WHORE

You have such a kind heart, Dahlia. Sorry he didn't treat you right, but you'll find the right one someday.

anyone know this guy's address? [fist emoji]

Winston Samuels probably in an alley somewhere now

Someone tell me if this guy responds plz [popcorn emoji]

these comments [laugh emoji] [laugh emoji] [popcorn emoji] [popcorn emoji]

NOT YOU SPILLING HE SUCKED ON A DILDO [laugh emoji] [laugh emoji] [laugh emoji]

I love to look back at all the assholes who were popular in high school and see how fucked up their lives are now

I can literally see the crabs swinging around on his pubes

WHO TAGGED HIS BROTHER?! I HATE YOU [laugh emoji] [laugh emoji] [laugh emoji]

drake used to be hot. what happened?

heroin or meth?

smdh yall wrong for this [laugh emoji]

TRASH [vomit emoji]

Didn't u get the memo? Drugs stopped being cool in 10th grade bro

And this guy really had the nerve to call ME the loser in high school

MY EYES! [see-no-evil monkey emoji]

its the facial expressions for me

DAAAAAAAAMMNNNN!

DAHLIA YOU DIDN'T [laugh emoji] [laugh emoji] [laugh emoji]

so this is what drakes been doing since high school

Fuck him! You're better than him and you don't need that toxic shit in your life! Call me, girl.

junkie whore

How embarrassing [embarrassed emoji]

Dated him in 9th grade. Guess I really dodged a bullet with that one.

[laugh emoji] [laugh emoji] [laugh emoji] [laugh emoji] [laugh emoji] [laugh emoji]

"Dude, are you reading the comments again?"

Drake had been so glued to his phone that he hadn't even heard Julio open the sliding glass door. Before he had time to hide it, his phone was snatched out of his hands.

After one glance at the screen, Julio looked at him with disappointment. "Bro..."

Drake realized that his half-burned cigarette had gone out sometime during his reading, so he picked up the lighter and relit it. His hands were shaking he was so upset. It was obvious that he was trying with everything in himself to keep from crying, but it wasn't long before he broke.

Julio sighed, then sat down in the chair next to him. It'd taken him a long time just to calm the boy. One quick trip to the bathroom and Drake was working himself up again. Julio leaned in close and wrapped his arms around him, allowing his friend to put his head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he said sympathetically.

He could hear that the young man opened his mouth to speak, but for a moment, there was only silence, which was then followed by sobs. Drake tried to muffle them by hanging his head, hiding his face against Julio's shirt.

"These idiots don't know shit," said Julio. "They weren't there and they're just fucking ignorant. You're not a bad person. Dahlia is. Besides, you have tons of shit on her that could ruin her life like she's trying to do to you. The difference is that, even though you fuck up and make shitty decisions sometimes, you don't intentionally hurt people and you have a conscience. Fuck what all these nosy drama-seekers are saying. You're a very kind and caring person. I know it. My brother knows it. Your family knows it. We're the people who matter and we all think super highly of you."

He squeezed him tight, then went back to rubbing his back until he calmed himself enough to pull away and take a drag from his cigarette. Drake shakily blew out a cloud of smoke, then sniffled. He kept his head low.

When he was able to speak, he said, "I guess I'm mostly upset because I know my mom saw it...and my little sister." He tried to picture what their reactions had been and whether or not they had really clicked on the video. "Fuck," he whispered to himself and just imagining what their faces had looked like whilst reading the post brought more tears to his eyes. He hunched over in his chair so that he could rest his forehead on his hand. His backed jerked as he bawled some more and, when Julio saw this, he placed his hand on his shoulder for support. "Who knows how many of my mom's friends or Megan's friend's saw that? I'm such an embarrassment—" He couldn't say more because the sobs erupted from deep within his throat.

"Hey, you're not an embarrassment." Julio leaned forwards, matching his posture. "No one's embarrassed of you."

"I went back home because I thought I was fixing my life, but instead, I've just given myself a bigger audience to watch me humiliate myself. I'm so. fucking. ashamed. of everything I've done — of everything that's been done to me."

It wasn't like Julio to get emotional too often, but he felt a warmth gathering in his eyes.

"And every time I relapsed, I've always thought I was doing the wrong thing because of where the drugs always lead me, but I was wrong. I've already fucked myself beyond repair. I'm a fucking joke. Getting clean will never ever fix that, so why am I even fucking trying?! At least when I'm high, I don't reflect too much on what other people think of me. When I'm high, I'm okay with being a piece of shit, but when I sober up and have to come to grips with who I am...with what I've done..." his voice squeaked. "My dad should've fucking killed me."

"Hey, don't say that! Are you kidding me? What would I do without you?"

"Your life was great before I ever moved in and I was doing just fine at Tad's."

"That's not true. I was struggling with depression and anxiety before you came — it wasn't caused by you — and you know you hated having to let Tad touch you whenever he wanted. You moving in was the best thing that could've happened to either of us."

Drake wiped the water from his eyes, but that in no way stopped the tears. He put his finished cigarette into the ashtray, then went for another one and lit up. "This is such a shit time to be getting clean." He sniffled, then wiped his nose on his shirt sleeve.

"You've got this," Julio assured. "I know you do."

Drake took another drag, then another, then another, then he said, "Should I call her?"

"Who?" It was obvious who, but the mere notion of talking to that psycho baffled him. "Dahlia?! Hell no! Don't give her the satisfaction of letting her know she got to you."

"Is it that much of a secret? She knows I cry about everything." It was one of his least favorite qualities. "She's probably hiding in the bushes, watching me already anyway." Reminding himself how stalkerish she was made him paranoid again and he really did feel like he was being watched. The nausea he'd already felt grew as his eyes scanned the yard, searching for some kind of hint that she was nearby.

For a long time, the Santos home had been his safe haven, but not anymore. He no longer felt safe here after what she had done to him...in his own room...his own bed... After spotting the camera, he couldn't even get himself to go back in there. For days, Julio had gone inside to get a change of clothes or whatever else he needed until, finally, he packed up all the essentials and moved Drake into his bedroom until further notice.

His paranoia had him so on edge that, when his phone rang, he nearly jumped out of his seat. As he attempted to calm himself, he had thoughts of one of Ricardo's employee's, a southern woman named Wendy, who had moved across the country to get away from her stalker ex. He wondered if he'd have to do the same thing one day just so he could stop living in constant fear.

"It's Josh," said Julio, who had taken the phone from him when he'd caught him reading the comments. He could see his friend tense up because they both knew why he was calling. "Let it go to voicemail?"

Drake thought about it for a moment, but then he decided against it. "He'll probably think I'm doing something I shouldn't be doing if I don't answer." He sniffled and wiped his nose again, then took his phone and answered it. "Hey."

Julio only heard half of the conversation.

"Yeah, I did... Yeah... I don't know..." Sniffle. "Mm-hmm... No, I'm okay. Sorry... No... No... Yeah..." He felt snot dripping down his nose, so he had to sniffle again. "I'm really okay... You don't have to do that... Josh... Okay... Okay... Yeah... Bye." He set his phone down, then responded to his friend's questioning gaze with, "He's coming over."

"Are you okay with that?"

"Yeah. I just need to stop crying." He hooked his pointer finger underneath the end of his sleeve and then rubbed the line of his bottom lid in hopes that he could dry it up.

Josh went three years without seeing his step-brother, but now, every time he sees him, Drake's always crying about something. Josh didn't yet know this Drake too well. The addict used to numb himself with drugs — that's who Josh knew — but without the substances, Drake was an emotional ball of nerves and it embarrassed him.

---

"Hey, your brother's here," Julio said from the doorway of his bedroom.

Drake exhaled with irritation. "Fucking hell," he mumbled to himself, his back to the two as he stopped rifling through his suitcase and stood.

"What's wrong?" He watched his friend walk over to his dresser and move some things around.

"I can't find my fucking cigarettes."

"Didn't you have them outside?"

"That pack's empty. I came in here and got my last pack and I guess I put it down somewhere and got distracted and now I can't fucking find it." He ended his short rant by aggressively tossing down whatever was in his hand. "Shit!" Drake huffed with frustration and the other two boys could see he was stressed as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"I can help you look," offered Julio.

"It's okay." He didn't want to be a bother despite how desperate he was for them. "I'm sure they'll turn up. Hey, Josh."

"Hey."

Julio left them alone. Josh took a seat in the desk chair and his brother continued looking.

"This is your room?"

"No, it's Julio's," the young man said without looking at him. "I've just been bunking with him for a little bit."

"Oh."

Things were quiet for a moment. Drake knew why he was there and he knew what he wanted to talk about, so he started the conversation that Josh couldn't seem to figure out how to begin himself.

"Did you watch the video?"

"What?"

Drake didn't repeat himself.

"Oh. No. I didn't."

The older boy looked at him so that he could decipher how honest he was being. Even after all these years, Drake could tell when his ex-step-brother was lying. He didn't call him out, but Josh knew he was caught.

"I mean, I clicked on it, but I turned it off the second I realized what it was."

"Mom saw it. And Megan."

"The video?"

"They said they didn't watch it, but they saw the post. They read what she said about me."

Josh spun in the desk chair, turning from one side to the other to keep up with his anxious brother. "Surely, they didn't believe any of it."

"Did you?" Drake knew the answer. With this question alone, he was proving the boy wrong and, indeed, Josh had no reply.

He was let off the hook when Julio entered again. "They were in the bathroom." He tossed the green pack and Drake eagerly caught it with a breath of relief.

"You wanna go outside?" he asked his step-brother.

Josh followed him downstairs and they went out the front door. He took a seat in one of the rocking chairs, but Drake continued to pace back and forth. Now that they were in the bright sunlight and his step-brother was closer to him, he could see the pink color of his nose and the redness in his eyes, which told him that Drake had been crying earlier.

"Can you quit pacing?" said Josh. "You're making me nauseous."

Drake stopped and slid up onto the banister to sit. Both stayed quiet. Josh couldn't quite seem to find the right words and the other was too preoccupied to really care. Maybe he didn't want him here. Actually, Josh knew he didn't. He could tell during his call. However, he felt for Drake and, after the talk they'd had back at his apartment the other night, he felt like he was supposed to be here. Drake's acknowledgement and apology had broken Josh's shell of hatred and bitterness, and now, all Josh knew was that his brother was hurting and he wanted to fix it.

"It's true — what she said about me," Drake said, continuing the conversation from upstairs as if no time had passed. "Well, most of it." Talking about this — with Josh of all people — made his anxiety grow, so, forgetting about the boy's request, he slid off the banister and paced some more. As he did this, he kept his eyes low. "I mean, the role-plays she was into were...uncomfortable, but...I did it anyway because I loved her. I would've done anything for her. And now she's using it against me, like...like I'm..." His thoughts were moving too fast to stay on one topic. "And I just know she had fucking cameras in there. She's been fucking spying on me this whole time." He felt like he needed a long shower. He felt like he needed to scrape off a layer of his skin with sandpaper until he became someone different...someone new...someone Dahlia hasn't seen...someone all of Facebook hasn't seen...someone clean. "It's so gross." He subconsciously folded his arms over his chest as he smoked like it was an extra barrier he could hide behind.

"Did you report the post?" asked Josh.

"Julio did it for me, but it's still there. I had to delete my account because I was getting all these messages."

At that moment, Josh's phone dinged, alerting him of a message as well. After a glance, he pressed the button on the side so the screen went dark. Maybe it was his paranoia, but Drake felt like he was the subject of the message.

After being pulled away from his earlier thoughts, he remembered that Josh didn't like his pacing, so he sat down in the rocking chair next to him, got rid of his cigarette butt, then picked out a new cigarette. Josh watched silently as his stepbrother grabbed his lighter. It was weird seeing Drake smoke, although it wasn't his first time seeing it. When they were teenagers, he'd caught him smoking once or twice. Josh chewed him out as if he were his parent. Maybe instead of focusing on what he was doing, he should've focused on why. He'd thought Drake was just trying to be cool. However, just like most kids, Drake had hidden anxieties inside him, although the cause of his was more abnormal than most. Josh had thought he was going for some cool "look" to improve his reputation, but instead, he'd just been trying to ease the stresses of young adulthood any way he knew how. Drake was just as scared as any other teenager. Josh just wished he would've seen that sooner rather than thinking he was some unfazed superhuman.

Once again, Josh received another alert. This time, since Drake was seated next to him, he could read the words on the screen when his phone lit up. He just got a quick glance before his brother took it away, but he definitely saw that his name was mentioned. Josh silenced his phone and, instead of setting it back down on the table between them, he slipped it into his pocket. Things were quiet between them for a moment, but once again, Drake broke the silence, his voice quiet and filled with shame.

"I'm sorry I embarrassed you." He wondered how many more people had tagged Josh in the comments of the infamous post since he'd gone through them about half an hour ago. "I wish I never would've started using drugs." After a moment, he said, "But that's not even true. I want it to be true, but the years I spent high were some of the best years of my life. I wouldn't have made it this long without it. It's like, drugs have ruined my life, but they also saved it. Even after everything it led me to — after all the people I've hurt...after all the horrible, disgusting shit I've done — I still want it so fucking bad."

He leaned forwards in his chair and hid his face with shame. Josh wasn't sure what to say. He had always been an awkward guy and he wasn't the best at offering comfort. Back then, Drake never really needed a lot of comforting anyway — at least, so he'd thought. Now he did, though, and his brother didn't know how to give it.

Moments later, Josh heard the sound of weeping coming from Drake's slumped form and his heart broke. Maybe he didn't understand Drake and he didn't understand addiction, but he did understand so badly wanting something he couldn't have. In his case, it was Mindy. Although he was the one who had ultimately ended things between them, he didn't feel like he really had a choice, for it seemed that she had ended things long before when she'd cheated. Josh used to think about her everyday, probably similarly to how Drake thought about drugs. After meeting Rochelle, things changed for him and he started thinking about Mindy less and less. However, Drake didn't have anything to fall back on. Nothing could ever come close to that feeling of euphoria he had experienced on drugs.

For lack of knowing anything better to do but wanting so badly to show his support, Josh placed his hand on the addict's shoulder. It was like his silent way of saying I'm with you. He hoped Drake understood.

---

Even if he wouldn't have heard the front door open, Julio would've known that Drake had finally entered the house again due to the reeking smell of cigarettes. He turned and, when he saw the two boys, he said, "I'm making meatball subs. They're almost done."

"I'm not hungry," said Drake.

"Josh?"

"Yeah. Thanks."

They both took a seat while Julio checked on the sandwiches, but the oldest almost immediately excused himself when his phone rang.

"It's Ricky," he said before disappearing into the foyer and sitting down on the the steps. "Hey."

"Hey. I was just calling to check on you. How are you doing?"

"I'm okay," the boy replied. "Well, I mean, I'm not gonna relapse." He knew that's what his friend was really checking on.

"Were you and Julio able to figure something out?"

"I deactivated, but he doesn't want me to call her," said Drake.

"Do you feel like you should?"

"I don't know. Maybe. Like...maybe I can convince her to delete it. Maybe all she wants is for me to kiss her ass or something. She just wants to feel that power again."

"Would you feel right doing that?"

He hesitated for a moment, then he sighed, but he didn't answer him. "You don't want me to call her?"

"I don't want to tell you what to do." After how far Dahlia had gone last time, he didn't want another of her vengeances to be caused by him convincing Drake one way or the other. He already felt partly responsible for the sexual assault and all the other bad things that had followed whilst the boy was stuck in jail and the psych ward.

"But you don't."

"I didn't say that."

"I'm just supposed to do nothing?"

"I want you to do what you feel is right," Ricky said. He could tell his friend didn't like his answer by his frustrated exhale, but he left it at that and moved on. "How do you think she got that video?"

"Julio said someone said that guy posted it on some porn site. I guess she found it or someone showed her. I don't know," he said, expressing the stress he felt. That on top of everything else, just made matters much worse.

"Who is he?"

Drake was quiet for a moment and he was clearly too ashamed to answer. He spoke in a voice that sounded like he was too stubborn to feel regretful, although they both knew that wasn't true. "I don't know."

"Where'd you meet him?"

Again, there was hesitation, but when Ricardo pried further, he sighed, then snapped, "He approached me when I was begging for spare change on the side of the road and he held up twenty dollars and told me to get in his car and I said 'Only if you let me suck that cock,' and I got in his car and he took me to this house and I sucked his fucking cock." He suddenly realized that his volume had increased and he knew the two boys in the kitchen had heard him, so he spoke softer. "Is that enough information or would you like more detail? Better yet, why don't you just watch the fucking video?"

"Look, I don't know why you're getting pissed at me. I'm just trying to help. I just need to know who this guy is so I can get him to take the shit off the porn site."

It made Drake even more upset that he was acting like an asshole to someone who was just as upset about everything as he was. "I don't know who he is, okay?!" And suddenly, he was crying again. "All I know is he's just some fucking realtor and he took me to some house for sale in that new neighborhood by that lake and I even asked if there were cameras and he told me there weren't. I don't know his name. I don't know his age or what company he works for. I don't know anything about him. I was so fucked up I hardly remember what he looks like."

Now it was Ricardo's turn to sigh. "Drake, you know you don't have to feel ashamed around me. We've all done shit that we're not proud of. I'm not judging you."

"I know. I just..." He sniffled. "God, I fucking hate myself. I'm tired of fucking up. I'm tired of disappointing people. I'm tired of humiliating myself. And I'm tired of fucking crying." He wiped his nose rather aggressively.

"I know. Look, this is just a little bump in the road. You have been doing so much better over this last week. What you did while you were in a bad place doesn't matter. What matters is how you proceed from there. You can let it destroy you, or you can forgive yourself and let it go."

Drake was wiping the wetness from underneath his eyes, but it wasn't doing much good. "I don't know how," his voice cracked.

"It's not easy. Believe me, I know it's not easy," Ricardo said, "but it's possible." His constant positivity was both annoying and encouraging to his friend. "Hey, I need to get back in there, okay?"

"Okay."

"You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah."

"Call me if you need me."

"Okay."

"I'll be home at four. I'll probably pick something up for dinner, so I'll call when I leave."

"Okay."

When they ended their call, Drake stood and headed upstairs. He didn't want to face Josh and Julio like this, so he needed to collect himself first. He went into the bathroom and splashed some water on his face, then hung out in there for a few minutes to calm down. When he rejoined the two, they were finishing up their meatball subs.

"You okay?" Julio asked.

"Yeah." His eyes landed on his green pack of cigarettes that were on the counter. He grabbed them, then opened the kitchen door and stood right outside it. After he lit up and took a couple drags, he said, "So what have you been up to, Josh?"

It was such a weirdly-timed question that it caught the young man off guard. He had been here for at least forty-five minutes, and usually, this kind of question would get asked much sooner. Honestly, he didn't expect it at all with everything Drake had going on, but maybe he felt the need to take a break from his own misery for a while.

"Not a whole lot," he answered. "Working mostly."

"Do you like it?"

"Yeah, I like it alright."

"That's good," said Drake before taking another hit. "What do you have to do?"

"I gather research. It's a lot of reading, for the most part."

Drake wondered if he had ever bought drugs from any of the places that Josh had later helped bust. It was weird having a DEA agent for a brother. It was like they were on opposite sides, like strong-willed vs. weak-minded, good vs. evil, righteous vs. wicked. Drake didn't want to be weak-minded or evil or wicked. He'd never wanted to be one of the bad guys.

"It's crazy how life works out sometimes," Drake said quietly.

Julio's eyes were squinted as he studied him, as if trying to latch onto his thoughts so that he knew which way his friend's mood was heading. Despite the boy's promise of chemical abstinence, they couldn't be too careful.

Drake exhaled a final cloud of smoke, then he dropped the cigarette butt and stepped on it to put it out. Afterwards, he picked it back up to dispose of it properly because, otherwise, Ricardo would get onto him. When he went inside and shut the door behind himself, he announced, "I'm gonna do the restraining order."

Julio was taken aback. Relief filled him and he even almost smiled. "Really?"

The young man gave a short nod. "Yeah," he said, but he didn't sound as happy about it as Julio.

"What changed your mind?"

He shrugged. "I don't know."

That wasn't true, though. The Santos brothers have been pushing for the restraining order for a while. Drake even agreed that it was a great idea, but his fear of what Dahlia might do had stopped him. However, what she had done this morning just reminded him that he was scared of her either way.

Another reason was because his roommates, Ricardo especially, had constantly warned him about Dahlia. Drake should've listened. He didn't trust himself anymore. So many things seemed to go wrong when he listened to himself. Had he heeded Ricky's advice, he wouldn't have had to deal with what had happened at the psych ward, he wouldn't have been raped by his fiancée, he wouldn't have had his heart broken. He wouldn't even have known Clementine as more than a one-night-stand at all. He wished he could go back to that moment and end things before they'd started. He wished he could erase the year and a half he wasted trying to please her.

---

"Yo."

"Hey, bro. I was just calling to let you guys know I'm gonna be a little later than I thought," Ricardo said as he parked the car next to the curb.

"That's okay. We're not home anyway. Drake decided to get the restraining order. Josh was at the house, so he drove us up here and he's inside with him now."

"Really?" the man said with surprise.

"Yeah, I know. Like, fucking finally."

"Did Josh convince him?"

"I don't think so. He just randomly said it not long after getting off the phone with you. I thought you said something."

"I didn't say anything," replied the man as he removed his seatbelt, slowly because he was lost in thought. "Well, damn, I don't know what changed his mind, but that's good."

"Yeah, we've been here for at least an hour or something. I don't know. Maybe it won't be too much longer."

"I shouldn't be too long either. I went ahead and picked up a couple pizzas."

"Alright," said Julio. "See you when I see you."

Ricardo hung up the phone, then looked up ahead a few houses away. In the driveway, two men and a woman exchanged goodbyes, then the couple got in their car and the businessman headed back into the house. After getting a good look at him, Ricky looked down at the photo on his phone. It matched the identity of the man he was watching. The picture was a screenshot from the sex video Dahlia had posted. Now that he was sure he had the right place, Ricardo reached into the floor of his backseat and retrieved a baseball bat. After a quick glance around the empty neighborhood, he got out of the car and crossed through a couple yards, wiggling the bat around in his hand to loosen himself up.

The door was left open and the realtor was standing in front of a kitchen island and placing things inside his suitcase. He glanced at Ricardo so shortly that he didn't notice the baseball bat.

"Showings by appointment only," he said.

However, Ricky entered anyway and closed the door behind him.

---

When Julio entered the house, the first thing he noticed was the blood-stained baseball bat that was propped up against the bar-stool. He then saw Dee. "Who the hell's blood is that?!"

Drake and Josh were right behind him and both were equally as shocked.

"I just got here," Dee said, holding up his hands. "I don't know what the fuck is going on."

Right then, Ricardo came bouncing down the kitchen staircase with blood on his shirt. He looked up from his injured knuckles and greeted the new group.

"You didn't," Drake said.

"Didn't what?" Julio asked. He knew his brother was hot-tempered and he didn't like him getting into fights. Maybe it was unresolved trauma leftover from many years ago when he learned that his big bro was in prison for nearly killing someone.

Ricardo replied with, "Beat the shit out of the realtor who posted the video on the porn site. And yes, I did."

"Oh my God," said Julio.

"Fucking hell, Ricky." Drake grabbed some paper towels and started wiping off the blood on his knuckles. "You didn't have to do that."

"He deleted the video."

Josh hadn't moved. He stood where he was while Dee went over to the laundry room and grabbed a clean tee. He brought it over to his boyfriend as Drake got some more towels and wet them.

Julio asked the question everyone wanted to know. "He was breathing when you left him, right?"

"Barely."

"Ricky..." said Drake.

"He'll be fine." He rolled his eyes. "He'll just have to rest for a week and then figure out what he's gonna do about fixing that house because that place is trashed now."

"What if he calls the police?" Dee asked.

"And tells them what? Some angry guy beat him up and broke a bunch of shit because he was recording videos of himself fucking people and posting them without permission?" He turned to Drake. "You weren't the only one."

"Jesus Christ," Julio sighed as he sat down in one of the bar-stools. He opened one of the pizza boxes and reached for a slice. "You stress me out."

Drake tossed the bloody napkins away, then he washed his hands. Ricardo removed his shirt and switched it out for the clean one. Dee made plates for himself and his boo, then they headed upstairs. Ricardo was probably in a bit of trouble, but his excuse is valid. Julio disappeared to the living room, and that left Drake and his brother, who hadn't moved a single step.

"I'm sorry," Drake said. "This isn't a normal thing with him."

Josh knew Ricardo, but he didn't know him well. He had been to the old house a few times during rehearsals or to check on Drake after his dad's death. The only thing Josh really knew about him was that he broke up bar fights and no one ever messed with him, and now Josh really never wanted to mess with him.

"Here, sit down. I'll get you some pizza."

He pulled out a chair for him at the small dining room table, then he started making their plates. He didn't have to ask to know what kinds of toppings Josh preferred because he remembered. He grabbed the supreme pizza for him, then got himself a slice of Dee's vegan pizza. He wasn't really hungry, but he didn't want to make Josh feel uncomfortable by not joining him. When he got their drinks, he sat down across from him and passed one over, then looked up at him to see that his eyes were on the baseball bat. He apologized again.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know he was gonna do that. I know you hate violence. We don't usually do stuff like that here."

"No, I know." Josh shook his head and put his eyes down on his food. "It's not that. I guess I...it just kinda reminded me..."

Drake waited, but he didn't get an answer. "Reminded you of what?" he prodded, but then he didn't like that he had, so he backtracked a bit. "I mean, you don't have to tell me. I know I haven't really earned your trust back."

Actually, he had earned a little back. Otherwise, Josh probably wouldn't be here now. He wanted to show this by opening up to him.

"I don't know. It's kinda dumb. I don't know why...just when I saw the bat, it was like...it kind of reminded me of that night."

He didn't need to go into detail to describe the specific night he was referring to. Drake already knew. It was the night Drake had left — the night the family came close to being killed by the dealer that the addict owed money to.

"What do you remember?" the younger brother asked.

When Josh looked up at him, he hung his head. "I remember everything."

"I just remember things in bits and pieces. The doctor said it was normal because of the head trauma. Things just run through my head like a movie that skips. I remember coming downstairs and seeing them kicking you, and my dad was knocked out on the floor next to this bloody baseball bat."

Josh's eyes subconsciously moved to the one Ricardo had used earlier and he could see the image clear as day as if he were back there again. Drake had experienced PTSD like this before and, if Josh was anything like him, he knew he needed to calm him before his emotions got out of hand, so he got up and moved the bat into the laundry room, then closed the door. This did seem to snap the boy out of his memory.

"Sorry. I know you have a lot going on right now and I'm not trying to add to that," said Josh as his stepbrother sat down again.

"No, it's okay." He'd caused Josh a lot of pain. The least he could do was listen.

"I don't want you to feel like I'm blaming you."

"But it is my fault," said Drake. "It's okay to say that. I know what I did. You don't have to pretend I didn't hurt you to spare my feelings."

Josh studied him and, this time, the boy kept eye contact. "You're so different now."

"I've learned a lot of hard lessons," said Drake. "And I never thanked you for what you did for me that night. I don't think I would've ever been able to face any of you guys again had you not stopped me." He hoped Josh remembered so that he wouldn't have to remind him of the time when he'd hit Marcellas to draw everyone's attention and stop Drake from blowing Andy. "It was really brave of you, and I know you did it so that Mom and Megan wouldn't have to see it, but I'm just really grateful that you were there."

"I guess that sorta makes me some kinda superhero," Josh joked to lighten their conversation.

Drake chuckled. "It was totally badass."

"Not as bad as you. I heard you got in between Mindy and a loaded gun. That was really brave."

"Yeah, right. I was so close to pissing myself."

"Yeah, but bravery doesn't mean not being scared. It means being scared to do something but doing it anyway."

"You must eat a lot of Chinese to have all these fortune cookie quotes stored in your head like that."

"Oh, shut up."

For the first time today, Drake smiled a real smile and Josh couldn't help but join in. It was nice to be able to share this moment together after all these years.

"What on earth are you eating?"

"Pizza," Drake answered with his mouth full.

"Why does it look like that?"

"It's Dee's."

"You're vegan, too?"

"No, I just don't think meat belongs on pizza."

"That actually kind of offends me," Josh joked.

"Hey, you remember you were a vegetarian when I first met you?"

"Oh my God. Yeah, that didn't last long at all."

They continued chatting for the remainder of dinner and then some. Josh didn't get ready to leave until dark and, even after all the time they spent together today, Drake still didn't want him to go. It was kind of like old times when they shared a room. Josh was always there when he needed something, whether it was encouragement or a cure for his boredom. Back then, Drake used to always say how he wanted his space, but not anymore. It actually kind of saddened him that they didn't live together anymore. Even if Josh forgave him and stopped feeling angry and bitter about everything, they still wouldn't be as close as they were because the responsibilities of adulthood would get in the way. Josh had a girlfriend now. He couldn't be with his stepbrother twenty-four/seven. He had a job, he had bills to pay, and one day, he might even have a kid or two. Life would only get busier for him and Drake would fit into it less and less.

"I wish you didn't have to go," Drake said as he closed the front door behind him. He felt vulnerable and exposed due to his openness, but he said it anyway. "You being here really kept my mind off of all the other shit and..." He lowered his head and pulled a cigarette from his pack to give him an excuse to avert his eyes. "I don't know. I guess I just... I've missed you." He put the end of the cigarette between his lips, then lit it. When he exhaled, smoke left his mouth and dissipated into the night sky. "I'm really glad you came."

Josh couldn't help but smile. He could tell Drake was nervous saying those things because he never used to be real with his younger brother. Josh had always thought he was genuine, but then he learned about the boy's double life, and then everything felt like a lie. He was being genuine now, though, and Josh could tell it wasn't easy for him.

"I'm really glad I did, too," Josh said. "I'd love to stay the night, but I do have work in the morning."

"Yeah."

"Maybe soon, though? I can talk to Rochelle and we can figure something out?"

Drake nodded, his head still hung. "I'd like that."

There was a short moment of silence, then he heard Josh's voice say something he hadn't heard in years. "Hug me, brutha?"

Drake let out a laugh and more smoke wafted into the air.

"Come on. For old time's sake?"

Maybe the cheesiness of it all is what made him hesitate, but once he was wrapped up in Josh's arms, it was almost like he didn't want to part. The memories flooded in of all those brotherly moments they had shared. Tons of emotions surged through him: regret, gratitude, self-loathing and love. Maybe it was just a hug to Josh, but Drake would never forget how this moment had made him feel.

When they finally pulled apart, the older of the two sniffled.

"You okay?"

"Yeah." His eyes were watery, but he was able to keep the tears back. "I cry about everything. I don't know. My dad got me fucked up." He sniffled again and tried to wipe away some of the wetness. "I just started this new medication, so maybe it'll balance me out a little." He forced a smile to assure his brother that he was alright. "I guess we'll see."

"You know you can call me if you need me."

"Yeah. I know." Drake took a drag from his cigarette and, when he exhaled, the smoke moved in Josh's direction. "Shit, sorry." He fanned it. "I hope your girlfriend doesn't think you were smoking. You probably reek. I don't know. I can't smell it, but—"

"It'll be okay," Josh said, completely unfazed. "Goodnight, Drake."

"Goodnight."

With that, Josh made his way down the porch steps and headed to his car. Drake sat down in one of the chairs and gave him a little wave in response as he backed out of the driveway.

---

After work the next day, Ricardo saw a strange car in the driveway. When he entered the house, he saw Drake in the living room with a man he had never seen before. The conversation looked pretty serious, so he let them be and went into the kitchen, where he found an eavesdropping Julio.

"Who is that?" Ricky whispered.

"The judge approved a temporary restraining order and that guy just served Dahlia the papers. Now Drake's gotta sign some shit."

"Why temporary?" was his most pressing question.

"They've both gotta appear in court before he makes it permanent. Since he filed for a domestic violence restraining order, they had twenty-four hours to approve or deny a temporary one. After he leaves, Drake's probably gonna have to go turn these papers in and then I guess he'll get a court date."

"Man, I would've liked to've seen her face."

Julio cracked a grin. "Me, too."

"What do you think she'll do now to get her revenge? Post more shit about him?"

"She can't. It's in the restraining order. She's not allowed to do that."

"Good!"

"Yeah, and she has to stay so far away from all of us. It protects him, Charlie, me and you, his mom and Megan, and Kenzly. She can't go near any of our houses, jobs, schools — whatever."

"Already, it feels like a weight has just been lifted."

"I know. He covered all the bases," Julio said. "He sat in there and thought everything out. I read over the papers. We all got copies because we're under the protection." He picked up a stack that was on the kitchen island and passed it over. "She literally can't do shit to him anymore."

Ricardo flipped through the papers. After a few minutes, Drake entered, having just shown his guest out.

"There he is!" Julio greeted with a wide grin.

Ricardo was much more sensitive and considerate. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Drake said, but it didn't sound too convincing.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm gonna have to go to court and see her and it's just..." He sat down at the table. "I'm just dreading that. Plus, he said I need to go ahead and gather all the paperwork I need and proof documenting the abuse. I don't have any of that. What if I get to court and she tells a bunch of bullshit and then he denies the restraining order. She's gonna come at me ten times as hard."

"You've got people who will vouch for you — people who have seen what she's done to you."

Julio named them because he didn't want his friend regretting taking this step. "Right. You've got us, Samantha and Brett. Kenzly was here one time when she beat the shit out of you. Remember?"

"Is it gonna be enough to just have my friends — people who are obviously gonna be on my side — vouch for me? Clem's got fucking pictures of bruises that she gave herself and I don't have shit. She's called the cops on me multiple times and that's on record. I never did that. Any evidence I might've had was her text messages and those are gone after I broke my old phone."

"Let's not worry about that now, alright?" Ricky said. "We'll just take these papers where they need to go and find out when your court date's gonna be, then we'll go from there."

"Besides," said Julio, "Samantha and Brett were Dahlia's friends and they hate her."

"Hate's a strong word. They're Christians," said Drake.

"Whatever. I'm just saying that the fact that they stopped being friends with her and even moved out of their house because of the way she treated you is gonna mean something to the judge."

"Look, let's get going before they close," Ricky said, "because I'm starving and we can pick up dinner on the way home."

"I call shotgun!" said Julio.

"Sike!" Ricardo replied teasingly. "My feet hurt and I'm tired, so Drake's driving, which means I get shotgun."

"It's my car!"

"Too bad I'm faster!" With that, he was gone.

---

Audrey exhaled, then smiled. "Well, is everyone ready to eat?" Her daughter was right behind her, for they had just come from the back porch, where Drake smoked and apologized for what Dahlia had posted about him.

"Food's done," Kenzly said.

"Thanks for having us over on such short notice," said Ricardo.

"I'm glad you all came. It's about time we all sat and shared a meal together." She moved over to the cabinet and pulled out some plates.

Julio stood. "I'll help you set the table."

Drake was back in his mother's room. He laid down on the bed next to a sleeping Charlie and started rubbing her back. When he could tell she was waking, he said, "Hey, sleepyhead."

The child craned her neck and saw her father's face above hers. "Daddy?"

When she turned over, he took her in his arms and hugged her. "Hey, baby."

"You'we hewe?"

"I'm here," he said. "I missed you."

She rested her head on his arm and rubbed her sleepy eyes. Drake leaned down and gave her hair a kiss. He held her close and they stayed like that for a while until she gradually got more and more awake. Pretty soon, she was talking more and, when she seemed to have gotten her sleep out, her dad asked if she was ready to eat dinner with Icky (Ricky) and Ho Ho (Julio). When she said she was, he changed her diaper, cleaned up, then they headed to the kitchen together.

"Look who's up," Audrey said as she saw the two.

"Daddy's hewe," Charlie announced

Drake set her down in one of the empty chairs and then took the seat between her and his mom. She had already made their plates and cut the toddler's food into small bites.

"Have you heard from your brother?" the woman inquired, curious to know if Josh had heard about the previous day's events.

"Yeah, actually. He came over yesterday and hung out."

"How was that?"

Drake thought back to the day before. He remembered the way Josh had invited himself over because he refused to let his stepbrother spiral like he'd wanted to — taking charge kind of like in the old days when he would get control of any sticky situation Drake would find himself in. The fact that he was there made things way better than Josh could ever even begin to understand.

"It was really good. We talked for a long time and he said he wanted to get together again soon."

"That's great, sweetie," his mother said and she could tell that Drake was grateful. When she'd first learned what he had done with his stepbrother's girlfriend, she had been disappointed. It wasn't until her own infidelity that she started to understand him a little better. She would never forget the moment Drake had walked in on her and Martin despite her vows to Walter. He never once brought that incident up with her afterwards and, when he looked at her, there was no judgement in his eyes. If only she had treated him the same way for his mistake, maybe their family wouldn't have gotten so broken.

As the afternoon went on, the family finished up dinner and Drake helped Megan with the dishes. Despite it being a chore, it was actually kind of fun to spend the time alone with her and it improved his mood. She was witty and sarcastic as she threw out innocent jabs about him, and he laughed a lot. Afterwards, he spent most of his time with Charlie. They stayed until late so that Drake could lay down with his daughter and get her to sleep. This was a challenging feat because she was so excited to see him and all she wanted to do was play. After a lot of bawling and screaming on her part and a lot of promising and singing from him, he managed to get her to sleep. He laid there for a long time after, not wanting to part with her. He felt incredibly guilty for slacking on visiting her due to his drug use and Dahlia paranoia. On top of that, he had lost his right to take her home for a sleepover, plus he wasn't yet ready to stay the night here. He vowed to himself to keep the promises he had made her about showing up early tomorrow and staying all day. He couldn't keep disappointing her.

When he finally rejoined the others, he hung out for another half hour or so, but he and the Santos boys soon headed home. For the first time in weeks, Drake slept in his own room.

---

Drake lifted his head when he heard his bedroom door open.

"You up?" It was Ricardo. He was checking in and making sure Drake was going to his mom's just like the boy had asked him to the night before.

"Yeah." He straightened after he finished up with tying his shoe.

"You take your meds?"

Drake grabbed the bottle off of his nightstand, opened the cap, then tossed one of the Prozacs into his mouth. He chased it down with some of the water leftover from last night. "Depression cured," he said sarcastically, and his friend could tell he was irritated.

"Drake, you're the one who asked for these pills. No one's forcing you to take them."

The boy sighed. "I know." Little did Ricky know the influence he had on Drake's decision to finally get medicated. Drake was done listening to himself. All that ever did was get him into trouble. Ricardo seemed to always know what was best for him and maybe this would get the addict on the right path.

Ricardo crossed the room and took a seat next to him on the bed. "There's something I wanted to talk to you about."

He kept his head low and faced forwards instead of at the man. "What?"

He hesitated for a moment because he wasn't quite sure how to start. "When you got out of the psych ward, you had some bruises on you, so I took pictures in case, you know, in case you wanted to do something about what you went through."

"Like what?"

"Like take them to court. Sue them. Make them pay for what they did."

"You think I should?"

"I just think it's fucked up for them to get away with it. They saw what happened and, instead of punishing the fuckers who did it, they doped you up to silence you, so it kept happening again and again and you couldn't even fight it."

Drake closed his eyes as the memories flashed through his brain. He could only recall bits and pieces, like the way he had reached out for help or to grab hold of something so he could pull himself away, or the way he was pinned down and his head was forced against the mattress, or the way he tried calling for help but could never seem to raise his voice loud enough or speak clearly, or the way he squeezed the pillow in his fist as he was penetrated. When he opened his eyes again, they were glistening with tears.

"I didn't really know when a good time to bring this up would be, but I've been meaning to talk to you about it." Ricky watched as his friend stood and went over to his dresser in search of his cigarettes. He heard Drake sniffle. "I should've given you some type of head's up that I wanted to talk about this," he realized.

"No, it's okay," Drake said, clearly doing everything he could to keep his voice steady. He wasn't going to fucking cry today. "I'll do it," he agreed quietly. He left the room before Ricardo could say anything more, surprising the man with his lack of protest.

---

When Drake got home that night, he looked worn out, which was to be expected when running after a kid all day. He took a seat in one of the bar stools while Ricardo spread tomato sauce onto his flattened pizza dough. The room was quiet for a moment, then he said, "So what do I need to do?"

Ricardo knew immediately that he was picking the conversation they'd started nearly ten hours ago back up. "Well, first we get you a lawyer."

"I don't have money for that."

"Don't worry about the money. I'll pay for it," the man said. "I'll find someone tomorrow and call."

Again, the room was silent, but Drake broke it. "If I do this," he said, "then everyone's gonna know." By everyone, he meant his family.

He tried his best to break it to him gently. "Honestly, Drake, I think they already do."

"How?" he asked quietly. He didn't want to sound accusatory, but he couldn't quite help it. "Unless you told them."

"No," the man replied softly because he knew it was a delicate subject. "You've just been acting a little differently — a little more jumpy and twitchy. I think they've noticed."

He knew his friend was right when he thought back to the time he blew up on his mom for touching him. She'd asked him if something had happened. He never answered, but she must've made her own assumptions.

"That's embarrassing," he mumbled and lowered his eyes with shame.

"You know you don't have to feel embarrassed around them. They fucking love you, bruh."

"I'm gonna have to sit down with them and tell them, like, what happened."

"Yeah," said Ricky, "or you could wait until we meet with a lawyer to make sure this is something you really wanna do."

"I do."

Ricardo looked up from his pizza to gauge his honesty. "Do you?"

"Yes," Drake said a bit defensively.

"Drake—"

Suddenly, Julio joined, interrupting their conversation. "Pizza done yet?"

"I haven't even put it in."

"Bro, I'm fucking starving," he groaned, and he grabbed a sweet snack from the pantry. Afterwards, he approached the island. "I finally got off the phone with dad. I think he was drinking. He just talked forever."

Ricardo looked rather pissed off at this. "You okay?"

"Yeah." He huffed, then finally acknowledged the other guy in the room. "You're home. Come play video games with me." He turned to head upstairs without waiting for a response.

Drake meekly glanced at Ricardo almost like he was asking for permission to cut their conversation short, but also expressing that he'd rather drop it anyway. The man made no objections, so he followed his friend to his room.

---

"Well, look who it is," Alice said the next morning when her former student stood at her doorstep. She received a smile that didn't reach his eyes and the first thing that she noticed was that he seemed tired and depressed and definitely sober. "Come in." After she closed the door behind him, she said, "I was so glad to get your call. Sorry I didn't answer the first couple times. If the number's not in my contacts, I just assume it's a spam call."

"Yeah, I broke my old phone and got a new number."

"Is that why you've been such a hard man to get ahold of?" She was fishing for an answer that she seemed to already have.

"Uh...I guess not. I kinda...I kinda slipped up," he admitted.

"I figured something like that had happened."

"Because I ghosted?"

"Well, yeah, that; and because I did talk to you one time when you answered Julio's phone. You were slurring your words."

"I don't really remember," he said apologetically. "The past month or so is pretty fuzzy."

"Let's sit in the living room. Would you like something to eat or drink?"

"I'm good. Thanks." He followed her down the hallway and then took a seat on the couch.

"Are you clean now?"

"Yes, ma'am. Ten days today."

The woman smiled genuinely. "Good for you."

"Yeah, I guess."

"Hey, getting clean is hard and it's something to be proud of."

"I know. I just... I'm so pissed at myself for letting this happen again — for putting everyone through this again," he said. "I feel like I've lost my mind. I can barely remember anything and, what I do remember — I can't tell if it's even real or not. I'm so paranoid I can't sleep without medicine, and I shower with fucking swim shorts on. I'm constantly looking over my shoulder and I'm so tired." He hadn't expected to reveal himself this much and he exhaled at the awkward silence. "Sorry. I just..."

"Don't be sorry."

The stress and anxiety and fear never seemed to stop clinging to him, but every now and then, it would squeeze tighter until it smothered him. A lump rose in his throat, and he knew there was no stopping the waterworks. He sniffled and wiped his eyes, then sighed. "Shit," he whispered, annoyed with himself.

Mrs. Hayfer was concerned. "What's going on, Drake?"

"I don't know." He sniffled again. He didn't want to cry, but the fact that he couldn't get control over himself only made him more frustrated and upset.

"You can tell me," she assured.

"It's just so hard being sober," his voice cracked. "I don't even know why I try at this point. We all know it won't last. I just wish I was dead. Every day, I wake up and immediately have to start fighting and I'm so tired of fighting. I live in constant fear of Dahlia...of my dad...of myself...of every man I walk by on the sidewalk or at the store. I'm scared that my family will stop loving me and I'm scared of what I'll do next to hurt them if they don't stop loving me. I'm scared of going to sleep alone because of what Dahlia did to me. She holds so much power over me and she can ruin my life without batting an eye. She's been stalking me, and she had a hidden camera in my room, and no one believes me, and I don't even know if I believe myself because I was so fucked up on Xanax. Every time I get a little bit of free-time to breathe, my mind goes back to the psych ward. Ricardo wants me to take them to court to hold them accountable for what happened to me, so I'm gonna have to relive that nightmare and everyone's gonna know what they did. On top of everything, I'm supposed to be a dad and I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. My dad didn't teach me this and I just wish he were here because I miss him so much. I think he would've loved Charlie and maybe he would've been proud of me for once. It's pathetic that I still think of ways to buy his affection, but I just feel like I need that and I need him here." He sniffled, then choked out a sob as he frivolously wiped his eyes with both hands. Embarrassed, he hunched over forwards and lowered his head to hide behind his bangs.

Alice didn't know the right words to say, but she didn't want to leave him hanging. She scooted closer and pulled him against her as if he were her own son. "Let it out," she said. "It's okay. Let it out."

And he did. He bawled so hard that she could feel him shaking in her arms. Her heart broke for him and everything he had gone through in his young life. No one deserved the cruelty he had endured.

They remained that way for many minutes, but her embrace really did comfort him and he gradually calmed down. He pulled away from her and wiped his eyes. "Ughhh," he groaned with frustration, then he sniffled. "I cry too fucking much." He still kept his head low out of shame. "It's, like, every single day."

"There's nothing wrong with crying."

He didn't quite agree, but he felt like it was pointless to argue. He sniffled and continued gathering his composure. To take the spotlight off of himself, he casually asked, "So how are things with you?" He couldn't help but chuckle at how nonchalant he was trying to act suddenly, and it make his teacher smile.

"I've been alright. Excited about Christmas break coming up. I could definitely use some time away from the classroom for a bit."

"Yeah, I bet that'll be nice," he said, still wiping the wetness from his eyes.

Mrs. Hayfer watched him for a moment, then she said, "You know, Drake, if you ever feel unsafe at home or anywhere, you're always welcome here — even if you need to stay for a night or a few nights or more than a few. I want you to know you can always come here."

"Thank you," he said, finally meeting her eyes. "That's really nice of you."

"Your ex wouldn't happen to have anything to do with the cast, would she?"

Drake looked down at the neon pink cast that covered from his palm down to his forearm. Kenzly and Megan had signed it as if he were back in school or something and they drew little doodles. Charlie also left her mark as well, although it wasn't as legible as the others'. "No, I punched a picture frame. It's pretty stupid. Ricky was trying to help me and, being the selfish asshole that I am, I threw a temper tantrum and broke a bunch of Dee's stuff." He said, "It was when I found out they knew I was using. I guess I got mad because Ricky was mad, and I just wanted them to give up on me so I could give up on myself. Sometimes I purposely try to push people away so I don't have to worry about all the pressure to not disappoint anyone, but no matter what I've done, Ricky and Julio would never let me go." Sometimes he still wished they would. "I guess I'm grateful." Drake corrected himself. "I am grateful. It's just that there's also a part of me that...isn't." He lowered his eyes guiltily. Softly, he admitted, "Maybe there's even a part of me that resents them for it."

"I think, in time, that part of you will start to show itself less and less until it fades out. Even though you decided to change the way you were living years ago, sobriety and learning how to cope with things are still relatively new, but when you're older — maybe in ten or twenty years — you're gonna look back at everything you've accomplished, and you'll understand why it was all worth it."

Usually, he would focus on the negative — that being the fact that he could be in his forties before he felt like he was even beginning to make a dent in revitalizing his wasted potential. However, her words were very encouraging and reassuring.

"You're right," he said.

Her eyebrows lifted. "Did Drake Parker just admit that I was right?" she joked, and it made him grin.

"Don't get used to it," he playfully bantered in return, and from there, their conversation moved on to more lighter subjects.

---

When Drake opened the door, he was immediately met by a meow and a cat trying to run out. He put his leg in its path and slipped through the small opening, then he picked up the animal and held it against himself.

The house was dark and empty. Julio had gotten dropped off earlier at Hannah's and Ricardo's car was still in the driveway, so he probably went out with Dee. It wasn't often that Drake got alone time anymore. After his recent relapse, everyone was watching him like a hawk. Without turning on the lights, Drake carried Macaulay upstairs and headed to his room. Once there, he saw his other cat curled up. He went over to pet it, then noticed the envelopes on his nightstand. Ricardo always brought his mail to his room. It was usually junk mail or old doctor bills, but this time was different. Sitting there was a decorated envelope. It was black and there was a paper glued to the left half that was black with shiny silver moons. There was a crescent moon sticker in the top center and some thin, silver washi tape underlining his name and address, which was written in a silver metallic marker. He set Macaulay down on the bed next to Agent Jack Bauer, then picked up the envelope and flipped it over in his hands. This is where he read, Sender: Megan Parker and his mom's address.

Drake let his backpack slide off his shoulder and he made his way to his desk, then sat down in the chair. He opened the envelope as delicately as he could because he didn't want to ruin it, then he pulled out its contents, which included dope astronaut stickers, a magazine article about astrology and skincare, and a coloring book page with a quote that read, "Shoot for the moon because, even if you fall, you'll land among the stars." There was a letter inside as well, but it was made like a little booklet using graph paper. There were more space-related stickers on the front, including a soft blue crescent moon and the cancer constellation.

Hey, Drake

What's up? I know this is probably random, but I recently started doing this penpal thing and I thought I should write you a letter. It's so much fun because I get surprise mail every once in a while and, sometimes, my penpal even sends me Brazilian candy. I've also been going to Hobby Lobby with Mom or Kenzly or my friends, like, every chance I get. I have so many stickers. I'm starting a collection. And you should see all the pretty papers I bought. I have a whole stack. It's kinda become my obsession. My desk is a mess.

Anyway, that's mostly what's been up with me. I've also been journaling and taking a lot of pictures. What about you? I know you got a lot going on that you probably don't wanna talk about and that's okay. I just feel like we don't really get the chance to hang out — just me and you. You're having to adjust to a lot of new things and I'm at school or a friend's house a lot. Even when we are together, it still feels like we don't really talk. Well, we talk, but it kind of just feels more like chatting with an acquaintance sometimes. I think you and I both have always had a hard time saying what we're feeling and being open with our emotions — well, not so much you anymore. You're probably crying now, I bet.

Drake couldn't help but laugh despite his watery eyes.

I think we both got used to closing ourselves off, especially towards each other. I don't know why, but I just have a lot of trouble letting myself look so vulnerable, even if I'm just in front of mom. Like, remember that guy Ryan I was dating a few years ago? We were together for almost a year, but he broke up with me because he said I never opened up to him and he felt like he never really knew me. It's usually the opposite. Usually, the girl's always begging the guy to be open and communicate his feelings. And Ryan wasn't even that sensitive or emotional himself, so I guess I was just THAT closed off. I don't know. Do you have the same issues?

It's okay if that's too personal. I just felt like, if anyone understood what I was going through, it would be you because, let's face it, Dad kinda screwed us up big time. Just in different ways.

Or I don't know. I can't even say that because what I went through was nothing compared to what he did to you. I just feel like he's the one who divided us. I just wish we would've been closer. I don't think I could ever say what I'm feeling to you out loud, though, so that's why I wrote it down. I just don't want us to be so distant anymore.

Anyway, I love you and I miss you. Hopefully, I don't sound like one of those angsty, whiny pre-teen girls.

Your favorite sister,

Megan

Drake reread it, then admired the art pages in the booklet, which had collages and quotes. His heart ached at the thought of everything his little sister had gone through. Sure, maybe their father hadn't treated them the same way, but it didn't mean she didn't suffer. Everyone was always so focused on Drake that no one really bothered to check in on how Megan had been affected by everything that had happened. At least, Drake had never once asked, and he felt bad about that now.

Megan was right. They weren't close at all. He loved her to fucking death, but having an actual conversation with her wasn't easy and he didn't know why. Maybe it was like she said. Maybe it was because they both put that wall up, thanks to Martin. Whatever it was, he wanted to change that now.

He decided to write her back. It was probably much easier than having this conversation in person. Plus, it would be a nice surprise because she probably didn't expect him to bother with sending her snail mail. First, he needed to get some artsy supplies to make her letter look nice. He stood and grabbed his backpack again, then headed downstairs, where Julio had just come through the front door.

"What's up, bro?" he said, then he was concerned. "Dude, have you been crying?"

"It's nothing. I'm going to the store to get stickers. Wanna come?"

"Uh...sure." Confused but intrigued, he followed his friend out to the car. Once they were inside and heading down the street, Julio asked, "Sooo what are we doing this for?"

"Megan wrote me a letter and she decorated it and it's really pretty, so I wanted to write her back."

"Oh, that's why you were crying? Did she say something hurtful?"

"No. I mean..." Drake started. "I mean, kinda, but like, it was true, though. She talked about how we've never really had a relationship and she thinks our dad had a lot to do with that and she wants one. It just made me sad. I feel like I should've treated her better."

"You weren't the only one who didn't put in enough effort. You can't take all the blame."

"I know, but I never even tried. That's actually super fucked up when I think about it. I couldn't be bothered to have a simple conversation with her ever. Meanwhile, Josh and I were practically connected at the hip. Mom and Walter got married when I was fifteen. Josh and I became best friends so fast and I just felt like we were always at war with Megan. It's taken fifteen years for one of us to admit that we want the relationship me and Josh had within months of knowing each other. That's fucking crazy."

"What are you gonna say to her in the letter?"

"I don't know yet. I just want her to know that she's not alone and that I want a relationship, too."

"That's good. I'm proud of you, dude. I feel like you're really starting to heal — and not just yourself, but your relationships as well."

Drake felt a burst of self-confidence rush through him. "Hey, how did it go with Hannah?"

"It was good. Like, I think we even flirted a little."

"You think?"

"You know, she's so shy and awkward. I don't think she knows how to do it, but it's cute when she tries."

Drake cracked a grin.

"I'm telling you right now. Like, I'm gonna marry this girl. It's gonna happen, bro."

He genuinely felt happy for his love-struck friend. "So you have Hannah; Ricky has Dee. Now we just have to find my soulmate."

"Are you kidding? Dude, you're definitely gonna marry Kenzly.

"What?" He laughed nervously as his attempt to cover his wide, toothy grin.

"Bruh, see? You're blushing! Look at you. You have feelings for her!" Julio teased.

"Shut up." Drake playfully swatted the boy's hand out of his face.

"You can't even deny it. Gimme the tea. What happened?"

The driver rolled his eyes like he was annoyed, but still, he couldn't stop smiling. "I guess...maybe...I might have caught feelings for her."

"I knew it! When did this happen? You never tell me this stuff."

"I don't know. She's just so cool and kind and...weird. We've been through a lot of the same things and we've both dealt with shit from a parent, but despite the way her mom is, she's so good with Charlie. Charlie loves her and Megan's her best friend and my mom looks at her like a daughter. Plus, she accepts me despite all my bullshit and she doesn't judge or pry. It's just like...everything about her is... She's perfect."

"You should tell her," Julio pushed.

"No. No way."

"What? Why?! Come on, bro."

"I can't. She doesn't feel the same way. We've tried before and things didn't work out."

"You guys dated, what, ten years ago? You're both totally different now."

"I'd rather just keep my feelings quiet because I don't wanna make things awkward and ruin what we have. I don't wanna lose her again."

"Okay, but I think you're making a mistake, dude." Julio then bluntly added, "And I think you're full of shit."

"How am I full of shit?"

"The reason you don't wanna get with Kenzly is because she's a nice girl and you think you're just gonna end up hurting her. You don't think you deserve her. This is why you end up with girls like Dahlia."

Drake opened his mouth to speak, but he honestly couldn't really argue with that. He sighed. "Yeah, I guess you're right. I think we both subconsciously seek out toxic relationships. If we were to get together, I don't think either one of us would be able to let ourselves be loved like that."

"Shut up. Yes, you could. All you gotta do is try, man."

Drake still couldn't see Kenzly having feelings for him. She was never the type to settle down and commit. "Eh. We'll see."

---

Kenzly craned her neck when she heard a knocking coming from a direction she had never heard it in before. She looked at the thin window towards the upper corner of the basement and could see Drake. "What the fuck?" she whispered to herself as she set her phone down and got out of bed. The young woman made her way over to the window and unlocked it, then pulled it open. "Uhhh, what's up?"

After Drake slipped in and his feet touched the basement floor, he closed the window— "Hey." —then turned to her. "You busy?"

"Not really. Why?"

"I just thought we could hang out." He shrugged.

"There's a perfectly good front door upstairs."

"Yeah, but I thought the window would be a little more exciting — like I had to be stealthy so your parents don't catch you with a boy in your room."

She laughed. "Oh, shut up." Kenzly gave him a playful shove, then led him over to the bed.

"What were you up to?"

"Just got off the phone and was looking at Pinterest."

"Who were you talking to?"

"Nunya beezwax."

Drake sat down next to her and put some pillows behind his back, then he rested against the backboard.

Kenzly answered him anyway. "My sugar daddy." She busted out laughing and it was contagious.

"You still do that?"

"You think I paid for all this stuff with babysitting money? Anyway, I don't know why you're judging me when a portion of that money was always donated to the Drake Needs Drugs Foundation."

"Okay, that was, like, *two* times."

"More like ten. Your memory's just shit." She asked, "You wanna see the dress he got me?" She got up, then went over to her clothes-rack and picked a short, red dress.

"That's really pretty."

"Guess how much it was."

"Uh...five hundred?"

"Two thousand!"

"Shit."

"And this thing looks good as fuck on me. It hugs my curves, and you know I have small boobs, but it still makes them look good."

"Hmm...I'm having trouble picturing it. Maybe you can model it for me?" He smirked and Kenzly grinned.

"He might get mad if he finds out I'm wearing this dress for anyone else," she said, starting the role-play.

"He doesn't have to know."

"Well..." She turned her back to him. "I guess if you can keep a secret..." She started by unbuttoning her jeans, then wiggling her hips as she started to slide the tight pants down. She pushed them down her long legs slowly and bent over as she got lower. The underwear she was wearing were cheeky purple panties.

After she straightened, she began removing her shirt. Again, she moved slowly, lifting the cloth up her back until, finally, she got to the point where Drake could see she wasn't wearing a bra. Her skin looked soft and golden, and he wanted to touch her and squeeze her and hold her against himself. Kenzly reached for her dress and began to slip it on. Once that was done, she turned her neck in his direction without turning her body. "Can you help with this?"

Drake got out of bed and stood behind her. The young woman pulled her hair over to the side so that it wouldn't get caught in the zipper, revealing her shoulder and neck. He gripped the zipper and carefully closed it up. Once he was done, he pressed his lips against her bare shoulder and slid his hands down her arms. Kenzly tilted her head to the side and the boy's lips moved towards the crook of her neck. His arms wrapped around her waist, and he squeezed her close in a hug. After a moment, his hands began moving upwards to cup her breasts.

"Not yet!" She pulled away, then pushed him onto the mattress. "I have to strut the catwalk." She then pretended she was in a fashion show. The girl walked fiercely and stroke sexy poses for him until, finally, she shoved him onto his back. Kenzly pulled up her tight dress so that she could straddle him. "So what do you think?"

"You're gorgeous," he said, and he really meant it. He pushed himself up a bit so that he could connect their lips. Once they were joined together, he slowly started to lay back down, and Kenzly's lips followed.

They made out for many minutes and there was a lot of heavy petting going on. Drake's hand was underneath her dress as he rubbed her through her panties. She moaned into his mouth. With his free hand, he began sliding down the zipper. This loosened the upper half of her dress. Her spaghetti straps fell down her arms and the top part went right along with it so that her breasts hung out in front of him.

Despite how aroused he felt he should be, he was having some trouble getting all the way hard. There was some blood rushing down there, but his medication really hindered his sexual abilities. Refusing to give up, he suddenly flipped her onto her back and got on top of her. Kenzly pulled off his shirt, then began on his belt. Once that was undone, she slipped her hand inside the waistband and started stroking him.

"What do we do if he catches us together?" Kenzly whispered in his ear.

"Let him watch."

"We'll show him how a real man does it. He'll be so jealous of you." She bent her knees on either side of his hips and pulled him closer.

Drake's lips began making their way over her jaw, down her neck and to her breasts. As his mouth worked up here, his hand slipped inside her purple panties, and he penetrated her with his finger. Kenzly let out a pleasure-filled sigh.

This went on for another thirty seconds or so, then they both heard the basement door open.

"Shit!" the boy whispered. He got off Kenzly as she pulled her spaghetti straps back on. He quickly buttoned and zipped his jeans.

"Kenzly, you still u—" Megan froze like a statue. "Oh. Sorry."

"No, it's okay." She could tell by the girl's voice that she was weeping. "What's wrong?"

Drake lifted his eyes to look at her and he could see that her cheeks were wet, and her eyes were red and puffy. "What happened?"

"Never mind. It's nothing. We can talk about it tomorrow." She turned so that she could start back upstairs.

"Wait a second," the blonde called, then she told her ex, "Zip me up."

Drake slid the zipper on the back of her dress up so that she could get up and talk to Megan, then he buckled his belt.

"Megan, wait, what's wrong?" Kenzly asked.

"It's not that big of a deal. It can wait. I didn't hear you come in," she said to her brother.

"Did something happen with Ryan again?" the other girl asked. "Or did that bitch Melanie say something?"

"Uh..."

Drake could tell she felt uncomfortable talking about this with him present. If he'd learned anything from her letter, it's that she didn't like to look vulnerable, especially not in front of him. Maybe that could change in time, but he didn't want to push for it immediately and make her feel uncomfortable. He reached towards the floor and grabbed his shirt, then slipped it over his head. "I'm gonna go smoke."

"You don't have to do that," Megan said guiltily, but he was already up and walking past her.

"Don't worry about it. But if a boy is messing with you, you let me know and I'll kick his ass," he said, "and Kenzly can kick bitch Melanie's ass."

"Damn right," Kenzly agreed.

This made his little sister smile through her tears and Drake was just glad to be able to ease her troubles at least somewhat. He left them alone for their girl time and headed to the bathroom first to clean up. Afterwards, he quietly snuck outside for a smoke, then went into the living room to watch tv.

---

Drake took a sharp breath in when he felt a hand on his cheek. He opened his eyes and saw a sleepy Charlie gazing down at him. He smiled. "Hey, baby."

"I snuggle you."

The young man held out his arms so that she could climb in, then he pulled her against his chest and held her as he rested his eyes. The sun was shining brightly through the windows, so he couldn't go back to sleep. He didn't mind. He enjoyed this time with his daughter, and it made him feel loved.

Drake gave her a kiss on the top of her head. "Are you okay?"

She nodded.

"Just sleepy?"

"I want juice."

"You want juice? Okay, I'll get you some. Are you hungry? Do you want me to make you some breakfast?"

She said she did.

"You want...eggs and toast?"

"I want hash bwowns."

"Ooh, hash browns are yummy. I want hash browns, too." He was enjoying this moment with her so much that he didn't want to get up, but he gave her head another kiss and stood. "Do you wanna watch cartoons?"

He turned on the tv, then headed into the kitchen to start on the food. He decided to make bacon as well. As he did this, he felt arms wrap around his waist and a body press against his back. He knew it was Kenzly.

"Sorry about last night." She kissed the spot on his neck behind his ear.

"Is Megan okay?"

"Yeah, she felt better after we talked, but when I came to get you, you were already asleep."

"Yeah, I guess I didn't realize how tired I was."

"But believe me. When Charlie gets put down for her nap this afternoon—" She pulled away. "It's on." Kenzly smacked his ass, then headed towards the basement to put on today's outfit.

Drake smiled when he saw her walking by. She wasn't wearing make-up and she still had bedhead. Her pajama tee and pants were a bit large, but she looked absolutely stunning. He thought back on what Julio had said to him yesterday about marrying her. He definitely wouldn't mind waking up to this view every morning. She was his best friend and she made him feel like he could be himself around her. He felt a warmth inside of his heart as she disappeared downstairs. Already, he was longing for her presence.

He tried hard to push those feelings aside and focus on cooking, but that wasn't going so well for him. He knew things wouldn't work out between himself and Kenzly because they'd tried before. Sure, it'd been nearly a decade ago, but still. Kenzly wasn't the type to commit. Because of her mom's shitty relationships, Kenzly thought it was best to just forget about doing any of that. It's not that she didn't want to have a serious relationship, although she didn't; she simply just didn't know how to be in one and she was too scared that it would fail.

Maybe if he got lucky, they'd both still be single when they hit thirty. That's when their marriage pact would come into play anyway. This thought brought another smile to his face.

---

"What's wrong?" Kenzly asked after she slipped her shirt back on.

"What? No, nothing."

However, she could tell by the tone of his voice that he was feeling down. "You weren't into it?"

"No, I was." After he put his feet in the legs of his jeans, he stood to pull them up and button them.

"You don't have to lie." She knew something was up when it had taken him longer than normal to get an erection.

"I mean, it's not you. You were great. As always. It's just these fucking meds." Once he was zipped up, he sat back down, and she joined him by sitting down at the foot so that she could face him.

"It feels different?"

"It hardly feels like anything at all. Like, I know I'm having an orgasm, but I can't really feel it. It's just so frustrating."

"Maybe it'll get better as it gets in your system," she said, trying to offer a positive outlook.

He didn't tell her he was considering not taking the pills anymore.

"You wanna shower with me?"

"Lemme check on Charlie and make sure she's still sleeping, then I'll be in there."

---

When Audrey got home from work, Drake was sitting in the living room floor with damp hair and wearing his ex-girlfriend's pajamas. In between folding laundry, Charlie was giving him toy cars, and Kenzly was cooking dinner.

"Hey, Mom."

"Hey, sweetie." She smiled. "How have you been?"

"Eh, okay. How was work?"

"It was really busy today. I didn't think I was gonna get off on time." She entertained Charlie for a moment when she ran up to her and started talking about one of her toys, then she excused herself so that she could change into something more comfortable.

Drake pushed himself out of the floor and went in the kitchen, then he started setting the table. Afterwords, he said, "I'm gonna smoke. You got Charlie?" With Kenzly's approval, he headed outside and lit up. After a couple drags, he pulled out his phone.

Drake Parker: estim din moms

Drake: eating fuck

Julio Santos: ok but ur gonna miss out on my special chili

Drake Parker: guess there is a god afterall

Julio Santos: friendship revoked, hav a nice life

Drake couldn't help but let out an airy laugh through his nostrils. He put his phone away, then looked up when he heard a loud vehicle approaching. It was a school bus and it stopped in front of the house. He felt awkward and now wished he would've gone out back. He tried to hide his cigarette next to his side. While Megan was let out, someone pulled down a window and yelled, "Hey, Drake!"

He waved as the bus drove off. "Who was that?" he asked when Megan approached.

"She likes your band. She plays the songs all the time on the bus."

Had he not gotten so lost in addiction, he could've had that on a much more massive scale. Instead of being recognized as a local celebrity — sometimes for his music and sometimes due to things he'd much rather not be remembered for — he, Julio and Stevie could've made it big. Not only did he screw that up for himself, but he fucked his friends over in the process.

He scooted over when he realized his sister wanted to sit down, then he put the cigarette between his lips again. "How was school?"

"It's school."

It was a pretty stupid question, he supposed. If this was the content of their conversations, they'd need a lot of work before they could really open up. "Yeah. Don't high schoolers usually get out sooner?"

"The band had a field trip."

"Where'd you go?"

"Orchestra concert. It was pretty boring, but at least I got out of class."

"You're starting to sound like me."

"I guess I'm kinda just not into the band thing anymore," she said.

"Really? You're so good at it, though."

"You're good at it, too, but you quit."

"But that's different."

"How is it different?"

"I never wanted to stop. Using just got in the way of that. I wish it didn't." His voice took on a more melancholic tone as he reflected. "Besides, I don't really know how good we were. People just came to the gigs because I was a total shit-show."

"You're letting Dad get to you again," Megan said, catching her brother by surprise. "You're a very talented musician. Where do you think I get it from?"

She could see that he was both taken aback by her words about their dad and flattered by the compliments. No one used to ever really talk about Martin after everything got out. No one wanted to make Drake uncomfortable, but they also didn't want to be reminded of the horrors that had happened to him right under their noses. Not giving Drake any sort of outlet for these things probably contributed to why he'd relapsed before Walter had kicked him out. Now he felt like he could talk about these things without making anyone uncomfortable.

"I'm gonna go in. It's cold out here." The girl stood. "Has someone started dinner? I'm hungry."

"Yeah, it's almost done." Drake soon finished his cigarette and got up to go inside. When he opened the door, he was met by his mom and both were startled.

"You scared me," she said. "You already finished? I was about to come join you." Audrey was carrying her cigarettes.

"I'll smoke another one."

They lit up, then the woman said, "I've been thinking about quitting."

"Really?"

"Yeah, it's just too expensive. I shouldn't even have picked them up again. Things were just very stressful, but now I don't feel like I really have to have them anymore."

"I guess I need to quit, too. I just feel like it's not the right time."

"I don't think it'll ever feel like the right time."

"You're probably right." He let go of a breath of smoke, then stood to stretch his muscles. He had been sitting in the living room floor for a while and his body was starting to ache.

"Quit with me," she said.

"What?"

"We'll stop together. It'll be easier with an accountability partner."

"You're serious?"

"Yes, I'm serious."

"Like, now?"

"We can start on January first. That could be our resolution." She could see that he wasn't too fond of the idea. "Come on," she pushed.

He wanted to reject the idea, but this is something that he wanted, especially now that he had his daughter's eyes on him all the time. He also really wanted his mom to quit because he loved her and wanted her to be healthy. He felt like she started back because of him. Drake looked at his feet with defeat and sighed. "Alright."

"Maybe Kenzly will join us, too," Audrey said.

The young man laughed at the thought. "We're all about to be so irritable."

"Poor Megan."

The smile on her son's face filled her with a happiness she couldn't describe, and it got her wondering how he was actually doing on a more consistent basis. Sure, he was chatting and joking around now, but was this how he usually was? If so, was it genuine?

"How have you been?" she asked him.

"Good," he replied simply.

"What about the cravings? How have they been?"

He realized now that this was a deeper conversation rather than a casual one and his smile faltered a bit. He looked down at his feet, then towards the road — anywhere but at his mother. "Um..." He wanted to be honest with her, but this was all pretty new to him. Not the honesty thing. He had been doing that for a while now with the Santos brothers. It was just a strange feeling being so open and transparent with anyone else. Back when he used to live with his family, he had been the biggest liar on the planet. "It's been kinda rough, I guess," he admitted, "but I get through it. I take the Prozac first thing in the mornings, and I take the sleeping pills at night, and they've been super helpful because I get sleepy pretty quick and don't really have time to lay there and start thinking about everything that's going wrong."

"How's the Prozac doing?"

"Well...I kinda hate it."

"Really?" she said. "I didn't like it either actually. I always felt like I was walking around like a zombie. I guess I wasn't sad or stressed, but I couldn't feel joy either. I take Zoloft now and it helps a lot."

He knew his disappearance years ago was the reason she'd started taking antidepressants and he hated the way he'd made her feel.

Audrey's next question seemed to come out of nowhere. "Are you and Kenzly going together?"

"Going together?"

"Is she your girlfriend?" she elaborated, although his need for specification already told her that they weren't a couple although they were sleeping together.

"No." He wondered why everyone kept thinking that, but honestly, he liked the idea. She was everything he needed in a partner, yet he couldn't stop chasing psychos who didn't treat him right. Well, maybe Dahlia had been the only one so far, but when he was ready to get back into the dating world, he couldn't imagine not being with Clem or someone who was just like her. He wasn't sure he could ever hold on to a relationship with a "nice girl," as Julio had called them. Take Meelah, for example. She was a nice girl and look what he'd done to her. He needed someone who wouldn't put up with his bullshit. He'd fucked Mindy's life up, too.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when Ms. Nichols asked, "You're using protection, right?"

"Mom, oh my God."

"Well, I just wanna be sure you're being safe. I'm glad Charlie's here, but we don't need any more hyper kids running up the walls just yet."

He answered her question. "She's on the pill."

"I was on the pill, too, but look where we are."

Drake scoffed. "My mommy didn't want me?"

She laughed. "Of course I did, baby."

Just then, the door opened, and Kenzly said, "Dinner's done." She reached for Drake's cigarette, and he let her have it. "It feels nice out here."

"It's freezing," Drake disagreed.

"Well, I've been standing by the hot stove for half an hour." She took a quick third drag, then passed the cigarette back as she blew out the smoke. "I'm gonna go ahead and make Charlie's plate. She's hungry. She said she wants food 'right this instant'," she mimicked, and the others laughed.

"The audacity," said Drake, although he thought it was kind of cute.

"Right?! Like, excuse me, ma'am, it's not even that serious."

Suddenly, they could hear Megan's faint voice, "Charlie, oh my God, get your hands out of that. Kenzly's about to get you."

The blonde groaned. "I am about to come down on this child like the hammer of Thor! The thunder of my vengeance will echo through these corridors like the gusts of a THOUSAND WINDS!" With that quote from her and Drake's favorite show It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, she disappeared inside, leaving Audrey stunned and confused and Drake in awe.

"She's so hot," he said with admiration.

---

When Drake got home that night, he noticed a strange car in the driveway. Dee and Ricardo were in the kitchen, and it looked as though they were being flirty while they waited for their popcorn to pop. They greeted him as he checked the clock. He made it just a few minutes before curfew.

"How'd it go at your mom's?" Ricky asked as he separated from Dee a bit.

"Good."

"How was Charlie today?"

"She was really whiny and grumpy today for some reason. Like, I had to get her in legit trouble for the first time and then she just started crying her eyes out and I felt bad. I don't really..." He paused to consider his words. "I don't really know how to deal with that kinda thing, you know?"

Living with Martin had really messed him up. He was trying so hard not to be his dad that maybe he was letting Charlie get away with a lot more than he should be. He needed to discuss it with his mom, he supposed. Maybe she had some pointers he could go off of.

"Do you believe in spanking?" Ricardo asked.

"I don't know. I feel like I definitely would've turned out so much worse if I wouldn't have gotten whoopings when I was little, but I don't have the heart to do that. Like…I can't. I literally can't." Even just the thought of mirroring his father in this way made him sick. "What do you guys think? Would you spank your kid?"

Both answered at the same time. However, their answers weren't in sync.

Ricardo: Yes

Dee: No

"What?" Dee was shocked. "You would hit a child?"

"It's not that serious. It's just a little pop. You have to let them know they did something wrong."

"And you can't do that with words?"

"Kids won't give a shit about that. When I was a kid, do you think I would've listened to anyone? I never cared about anything until my mom took off her flip flop or got the wooden spoon. Now that always shut me up."

"Or you could let the kid know they did something wrong and explain why it was wrong. I wouldn't want our kid to be scared of us."

"They have to be scared of you or they'll walk all over you. I mean, when you were little, wasn't there a part of you that was scared of your mom? So when you get an F on your report card or get sent to the principal's office, you're scared of her because you know she's about to whoop your butt. It's not like that fear gets in the way of the relationship," Ricardo said as he opened the microwave and pulled out the bag of popcorn, "unless they do actually go overboard and get abusive. There is a difference. Charlie's young. If you just give her a little pop—" He shrugged. "It's not gonna hurt her."

"I never got whoopings," said Dee.

"You were one of those sensitive mama's boys that had no friends, though. I've always had a temper problem. Words weren't gonna work for me."

"So maybe it depends on the kid?" Drake said. This brought up a whole new question: Which kind of kid was Charlie?

Dee grabbed a large bowl and set it down so his boyfriend could pour in the popcorn.

"We're about to watch a movie," Ricky said. "Wanna join?"

"Nah." He didn't want to impose on what looked like a date night at home. "Whose car's outside?"

"One of Julio's friends. Hannah, I think."

"They're in his room?"

"Yeah."

"You sure you don't wanna join?" asked Dee. "We're gonna watch Tenet."

"It's Christopher Nolan," the oldest persuaded.

Tenet was Drake's most anticipated release of the year, so he almost accepted their invite, but he knew they had planned this alone time together. "I'm pretty tired. I'll probably watch it tomorrow before you turn it in."

"I'm gonna spoil it."

"I would cry."

Ricky chuckled and gave him a playful shove, then he and his partner headed into the living room with their popcorn and sodas. Drake made his way upstairs. He was pretty bored, but Julio's door was shut, so he went into his own room and sat down on his bed. He pulled out his phone, hoping for a distraction, but he had deactivated his Facebook, so there wasn't really anything to do. He stared at the screen for a moment before giving up and dropping the phone with a sigh.

Ricardo was downstairs getting all nice and cozy with his boo thang — no doubt setting themselves up for an intimate night after the movie — and Julio was probably in the next room fucking his brains out right now, and here Drake sat alone. It was moments like these that actually made him miss Clementine and just having a girlfriend in general. He always had a revolving door of girls since his preteens — perhaps due to his inability to commit at the time. After what he'd been forced to do in the mental hospital when he was thirteen, he'd been too scared to stay in a relationship too long with any one girl for fear that she'd want to go all the way with him. After that traumatic experience, he'd never wanted to have sex again...until Meelah. Ever since experiencing true love with her, he's been desperately searching for that same feeling again, and he did find it a couple times. He no longer cared for one-night-stands, hook-up apps, picking girls up at the bar. All he wanted was someone who could accept and love him. He was ready for his forever girl.

Sadly, there wasn't one. It was just himself alone with his cats. Pathetic. Not knowing how else to cure his boredom and knowing he needed to distract himself before he spiraled, he reached into the drawer of his nightstand and pulled out a bottle of lube and a box of tissues, then he unfastened his jeans.

---

It was just after midnight when Drake woke up with his hand in his boxers. He stretched and moaned, then sat up and stretched again until his bones gave a satisfying pop. He took his cigarettes with him on his way to the bathroom because he knew he was going to smoke. Usually, he would dread getting up in the middle of the night to pee because he hated being woken up, but he actually felt well-rested and probably wouldn't even be able to go back to sleep.

After relieving his bladder and washing his hands, he headed downstairs and into the kitchen. Once there, the front door opened, and Julio entered.

"You're still up?"

Julio entered the kitchen as well and plugged in the deep fryer. "Yeah. Hannah just left."

Drake opened the side door and stepped out, then lit his cigarette. He inhaled...exhaled... "How'd that go?"

"It was really good."

"Well, at least one of us is having a nice sex life."

"We didn't have sex. She's waiting until marriage." Julio added, "Besides, we're not even together anyway."

"She's waiting until marriage?"

"Yeah."

"You would do that?"

"For her, I would."

Drake understood that, he supposed. He would've waited for Meelah had that've been her wishes. He took another drag, then hugged himself as he bounced on his feet. "It's cold."

Julio saw him trembling and heard his teeth chattering. "Why didn't you put on pants, stupid?" He opened the laundry room door.

"I was hot." When Julio tossed some sweats at him, he picked them up, then slipped them on.

"So what's wrong with your sex life?" he asked as he grabbed the bag of chicken strips out of the freezer. "You hungry?"

"Yes, please." His knees were still vibrating, but he did feel at least somewhat warmer. "These stupid pills keep fucking with me. It makes it not even feel that great. And it's so embarrassing because I can hardly... It's just embarrassing and it's fucking frustrating."

"You sound like you're gonna stop taking the meds."

"I want to," Drake admitted. "I just feel like Ricky's gonna be disappointed and I hate doing that to him."

"He's not the one struggling to get an erection, though."

"You think I should quit, too?" This made him feel more validated.

"I'm not saying that," said Julio, "but I'm also not saying that you shouldn't."

"My mom was telling me about Zoloft. Maybe I could give that a try, I guess. I don't know. Maybe I should just stick with what I'm doing. I know Ricky would want me to at least wait a month to see if it does improve my mental health."

"Why are you so obsessed with what my brother thinks?"

"I'm not."

"You definitely are."

"No, I just... He's been right about everything else."

"Not everything."

"I don't really trust myself anymore." After a moment, he said, "Don't...don't tell him I said that." He put his cigarette out, then brought it inside to dispose of it to keep the yard clean. "When I first got clean all those years ago, it's because Ricky told me what to do all the time. You both did," he said, "and I listened. That was the longest I had ever gone without Charlie since I started taking the pills at sixteen. Everything that's been happening lately has been caused by a choice I made despite being warned by you two. It just keeps piling up and it feels impossible to stay sober. You were right and I should've listened to you guys. I want to now. That's what worked last time in getting me off drugs. I've gotta stop. Every time just gets worse and worse. I keep hitting these rock bottoms and then discover I can still go lower with each relapse. Like, being high around my daughter? Being fucked up on Xanax while she's in the car with me? That's the worst thing I've ever done and everyday, I think about what could've happened." Just talking about it got him teary-eyed. "I just don't wanna be that person anymore."

"I feel you," his friend said, "but if you do decide to quit, I don't think my brother would mind that much as long as you switch to something else."

"Don't all antidepressants lower your sex drive?"

"I'm not a doctor."

Drake rolled his eyes. "Right, just an asshole."

Julio scoffed. "I made you some chicken tendies, didn't I?"

The oldest hopped onto the counter and sat there waiting for his food. While he did this, he started picking at and biting his nails. "You staying up a while?"

"Maybe."

"Wanna watch Tenet?"

"We can."

---

Drake was pretty tired when he got to his mom's the next morning, but he managed to hold out until Charlie's nap time. When it came to being here — at his dad's old house — some days were better than others and today was not one of those good days. Maybe it was due to his frustrating sex life that unwanted thoughts from the past were coming to the surface extra hard today. Or maybe it was just that the lack of sleep wasn't good for his mental health. Whatever it was, he had a hard time deciding where to lay down for their nap. Every single room in this house came with haunting memories, but it was especially the bedrooms. Audrey's room is where he had nearly been killed. His sister's room — his old "safe space" — was constantly invaded by a drunk, raging Martin. In what is now deemed Kenzly's room was where a lot of the cruelest, most gruesome beatings and torture had taken place. Everywhere was tainted and it didn't make a damn bit of difference that the furniture and decor were new and arranged specifically to not mirror what the interior of the house used to be.

He ended up deciding on his mother's room. It's the one that had undergone the most drastic change. Despite his tiredness, it took him a bit longer than he'd expected to fall asleep because he couldn't help being on high alert. When he did manage to sleep, it might have lasted half an hour tops before he woke up from a nightmare. He'd actually yelled out in his sleep, which, of course, had woken Charlie and attracted the attention of his mom and Megan.

"You okay, sweetheart?" the woman asked gently from the doorway.

"Yeah," Drake answered shakily. "I'm okay." He was already sitting up and he turned to pet his frightened, weeping daughter's hair. "I'm okay." However, his trembling said otherwise. He tried to push away the awful nightmare and intruding thoughts, but being in this room wasn't helping. It felt like the walls were closing in on him and he just wanted to curl up into a ball. "Um..." He hated that his voice cracked right then. The young man sniffled. "Could you...?"

"Yeah." Ms. Nichols entered the room and took his place.

"You okay?" Megan asked.

"Yeah, I just need to smoke," he said, brushing off her question as he moved past her.

He went out back and immediately lit a cigarette. He paced for a while as he tried to clear his mind, but he couldn't stop replaying the dream in his head. Even just being out here took a toll on him. He had bad memories on this porch as well as in the backyard. No matter where he went, he couldn't escape the atrocious things that had happened to him here. It was probably twenty minutes and five cigarettes later when Audrey came outside to find him seated on the steps, apparently so deep in thought that he hadn't even heard her.

"Drake?" she tried softly, but he didn't respond. She reached out and just lightly touched his shoulder.

The young man snapped back to reality in an instant. He gasped with fear, slung her hand away and jumped to his feet. When he turned just to find that it was only her, for the short moment that it took for things to click, he couldn't stop swatting at his shoulder as if to rid it of Martin's invisible grasp.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" She clearly felt extremely guilty and surprised with herself, for she had her hand covering her mouth slightly. "I'm sorry! I forgot!"

"Sorry," he said robotically, feeling guilty because she felt guilty. He anxiously combed his fingers through his hair.

"I just wanted to come check on you."

Drake bent over and picked up the cigarette that he'd dropped, then he took a hit. "I'm okay," he said.

"I'm so sorry, sweetie."

Her son sucked on his cigarette like a vacuum until it had burned all the way down to the filter. He picked up his pack on the porch floor next to where he had been sitting and, upon opening it, found it to be empty.

"You can have one of mine," she offered, desperate to fix the situation that she'd made worse.

"I'm just gonna go to the gas station up the street. You don't smoke menthols."

"Kenzly does."

"It's okay. I'll be back in a few minutes." He didn't really give her much time to respond. He went around rather than going through the house, then he got in Julio's car and left.

---

Ahmed's wife was working today, which Drake was honestly kind of relieved about. He really wasn't in a chatty mood at the moment. She did recognize him, and they spoke long enough for her to let him know that Ahmed had a horrible flu. Afterwards, Drake walked outside with his new packs of cigarettes. He'd parked at the far end of the lot so that he could sit on the curb and be alone for a while. He wasn't quite ready to go back to his mom's just yet and he couldn't smoke in his friend's vehicle.

It took a while of chain-smoking to calm the anxiety within him. When he got through the roughest part, he reflected on his morning and felt most regretful for how he'd treated his little sister. It's not that he was rude, per se. He just felt really bad about totally brushing her off when she'd tried to check on him. It's just that he'd wanted to get out of there as quickly as he could, and he didn't want to appear as weak as he was. This was the exact issue Megan had written about in her letter. She'd opened up to him and, despite swearing to do the same, he'd gone back to his same old ways.

He wasn't sure why it was so hard to talk to Megan specifically. It wasn't easy talking to anyone, but it especially wasn't easy with his her. Perhaps it was because society had drilled into his head that, as a male, he was supposed to be the strong, fearless, protective older brother. However, he was none of those things. He was weak and fragile, scared of everything and everyone, and he couldn't even protect himself.

He flinched when he heard Born Slippy playing in his pocket suddenly. Even after all the cigarettes, he was still on edge. Drake pulled his phone out of his pocket and saw Ricardo's name on the screen. He pressed the green button, then put it to his ear. "Hey."

"Hey, what's up?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"Yeah, nothing." He picked up the small white sack he'd set on the ground between his legs and absently swung it. He held on tight as if he was suddenly concerned with the danger of losing its contents.

"Where you at?"

Drake was starting to feel like this was an interrogation. "I'm at a gas station," he said. "Why?"

"I just wanted to check in to see how you were doing."

"I'm okay."

Ricardo paused a moment, sighed. "Look, Drake, your mom called and said she was worried about you."

"Oh," he said softly.

"She said you left upset, and you've been gone nearly an hour and a half even though you said you'd just be a few minutes. She tried calling and you didn't answer, and she was really concerned. She asked me to check the tracker to see where you are." It was the first time since the boy had gotten clean that he felt like he'd needed to do this, and he wanted to be open and honest about it.

"Well, I'm here."

"I know," he said softly. He had his own concerns, but he hated sounding so distrusting. "Are you meeting anyone?"

Drake's eyebrows furrowed. "Like who?"

"I don't know. Your Xanax guy or something."

The young man shook his head in disbelief and quietly chuckled with bitterness. "You think I relapsed?"

He'd tried to go about this cautiously, but the addict caught on quickly and it had struck a nerve. He sighed. "You tell me, Drake."

"No, I haven't fucking relapsed. I haven't taken anything," he replied angrily.

Ricardo bravely added for him, "...yet."

"I had a nightmare about my dad trying to fucking kill me, so I had to leave until I could calm down. I've been sitting here trying to muster up the courage just to go back and see my daughter and I can't even do that because of what happened to me there — what that house means to me. I spent my whole morning just waiting for him to walk around every corner and grab me and pin me down and take off my pants. I'm sorry that's taking a little more than a couple minutes to recover from," he said sarcastically.

"I know it's hard," the older boy said. "I know I will never be able to understand what it's like to go through what you did, but that doesn't mean you can't talk to me. I'm here, Drake," Ricky said rather desperately, begging him to open up. "I'm right here."

"I know where to find you if I wanted to," he responded harshly. "I know I said I was okay with you tracking me and checking in, and I am. I just need some fucking room to breathe sometimes. Let me breathe."

"So you're not meeting anyone?" Ricky asked.

"No!"

"Is that because you already have?"

"Oh, fuck you!" the young man spewed with outrage.

"Drake—" Ricky started just as aggressively, his own frustration finally showing. He stopped and sighed as an attempt to calm himself. It only worked a little. "Drake, you know you gave me your debit card info and you told me two weeks ago that you wanted me to check your recent transactions if I ever felt suspicious. Well, I did. I know you just got sixty dollars out of the ATM. I'm gonna ask you one more time. Did you already or do you plan to meet someone to buy drugs?" He was met with a few long seconds of silence before he received a reply.

"Fuck this!" Drake hung up the phone.

When his friend tried calling back, he didn't answer it. He felt completely enraged...or maybe he wasn't enraged at all. Maybe he was scared, but, refusing to show fear, he expressed anger instead. It was a tell he sometimes had. When he got caught, he'd panic and, in that panic, he would unintentionally overdo the fury just to hide the fear. If they heard the fear, they'd know immediately. However, they knew him enough to know what the anger meant as well.

The young man opened the little bag in his hand, then reached inside and retrieved an orange pill bottle.

---

When Ricardo heard his phone ring ten minutes later, he stopped dead in his tracks. He, Julio and Dee had been spending the last few minutes deciding whether to give Drake the space he wanted or go pick him up now. After careful consideration, they decided on the latter. However, before they had time to grab their shoes and the car keys, they were surprised with a phone call.

"It's Drake," the older brother said. "He's FaceTiming me."

Julio came around to look over his shoulder and he answered it. However, Drake wasn't anywhere in sight. Instead, the camera was pointed towards a toilet. They knew he was there, though, because they could hear him sniffle.

"Drake?" Ricky said.

The young man's crying got harder.

"Drake, can you hear me?" he asked. "Hey?" After a moment, he said, "Look, just stay there, okay? We're gonna come meet you."

He was interrupted by a frustrated growl, which was an irritated Drake trying to get himself under control. There were a few sniffles...footsteps...then there he was. Well, somewhat anyway. His arms and stomach at least. He held up a pill bottle so that they could see. It took the phone a moment to focus.

Finally, their best friend spoke. "I just bought thirty," he said, "and they're the footballs. He threw in five extra." This could've been because he hadn't called in a while and the guy was hoping to get Drake's business again, or it could simply just be that he had some leftover from a previous prescription that he never sold and gave them to the boy because he had been a valued, trustworthy customer. "I just wanted you to see that I'm getting rid of them. I haven't taken any yet, but I know you can't really trust me. He could've given me ten extra and it's possible that I kept five. He didn't, but I can't prove that by giving you anything other than my word, which I know doesn't mean much right now. I'm still gonna count these so you can see I'm not lying about these." He pulled the bottle away and popped the cap open, then poured the little blue pills onto his palm. He counted each one and, as he did this, he dropped them into the toilet. Once or twice, he got choked up and it broke his friends' hearts to hear how hard this was for him. When he finally finished counting all thirty-five pills, he flushed the toilet. "I'm sorry I did this," he said. "I'm sorry I broke your trust for the hundredth time. I'm sorry I blew up earlier," Drake said. "Please don't come. I just wanna be alone. I won't do anything. I promise. Just let me be alone."

---

The boys did grant Drake his wish, but as the hours passed, they got more and more worried. It got dark at six. They gave him until seven before deciding to go look for him. While Julio was making dinner, Ricardo and Dee made their way to the gas station after checking that their friend was still there. When they got there, they saw Julio's car, but Drake wasn't in it. They went inside and looked around, but he wasn't there either. Ricky checked the tracker once again and it continued to confirm that this was where he should be. He peaked through the window and saw the boy's phone sitting in the cup-holder.

Ricardo sighed. "He left his phone. Damn it!"

Dee knew he was growing more and more worried by the second. Who knew how long the boy had been gone? The last time they'd spoken to him was nearly five and a half hours ago. He could've made it anywhere in that time.

"Maybe he just went for a walk," Dee suggested optimistically.

"Without his phone?"

"He said he didn't wanna be bothered."

"Where would he have walked to for five hours?"

His boyfriend looked around the area as if maybe he could find some sign as to where Drake had disappeared to.

"Maybe I should call around. He could've gone to Gemini's or Theo's."

"Wait, is that him?"

Ricardo whipped around and looked in the direction of the park across the street. Sure enough, he saw a thin figure sitting on one of the swings, his head hung as he gently rocked back and forth on his heels. The two walked to the edge of the parking lot, then crossed the street when it was safe to do so. Drake didn't even notice them approach until they were just a few feet away.

"The hell are you doing?" the oldest asked.

"Nothing," Drake answered quietly.

"Why'd you leave your phone?" He still felt panicked due to all the terrifying possibilities that had ran through his mind just moments ago, which is why he came off so aggressively right off the bat. However, when he felt his boyfriend's hand on his back, he knew he needed to take it down a few notches. "Are you okay?"

"I don't know."

Luckily, Ricardo knew him enough to know that this meant no. It was his way of saying it sometimes when he felt the need to distance himself. He didn't want to say he wasn't okay because he didn't want to come off as whiny or needy, but he also didn't want to lie and say he was. This was something Drake had always wished Clementine had understood. Perhaps she did, but didn't care enough to do anything about it since he'd given her an out by not confirming he wanted her to stay during these hard times.

"Do you wanna talk about what happened today?" he asked gently as he sat down on the swing next to him.

Instead of answering him, Drake asked, "Did you tell my mom?"

"About the Xanax? No. I just told her where you were and that you wanted space for a while."

"Why have you been sitting at a gas station all day?" asked Dee.

The addict hesitated. "I guess I'm just embarrassed. Calling you crying like that...over fucking pills. It's pathetic."

"It's not pathetic," Ricardo said. "I'm really glad you called."

"I just told Julio last night that I needed to stop doing this bullshit. I even convinced myself that I was serious. It only took half a day to throw all of that out the window."

"Maybe it felt a little easier last night. You know these things aren't always consistent. Sometimes shit happens. Sometimes cravings hit. Sometimes you have good days and don't feel the urge to use at all. Maybe you meant it yesterday, but you had a different mindset yesterday."

His words must've really meant a lot to Drake because the boy got up and wrapped his arms around him. Perhaps he felt like his friend understood him. Ricardo stood and hugged him back tightly and this, too, comforted the addict.

"I'm so thankful to have you in my life," the youngest said. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You know I love you and I would do anything for you."

"I love you, too." Drake sniffled and, after a long moment, he pulled away, then he embraced Dee. "Thanks for coming to get me. You've been a really great friend to me despite all my bullshit and you have no idea how much that means to me. I love and appreciate you so much."

"Aw," Dee said, his sensitive heart melting. This made him feel like he belonged in the Santos family. Of course, he'd felt that with Ricardo for several months, but despite a great friendship, Drake had never hugged him or expressed himself like this towards him before. "I love you, too." He met his boyfriend's eyes over Drake's shoulder and received a smile, and Ricardo supportively placed his hand on the young man's back.

---

When the door opened, Julio greeted the crew with a rather bizarre, "Who dares enter thine castle?" His booming voice mirrored one of someone in a medieval movie involving knights and kings as he marched down the steps.

Drake played along. "Tis I, king of fuck ups."

"I see, and what fuckery hast thou committed on this eve, my lord?"

Ricardo interrupted with, "Y'all are so fucking weird."

Julio pulled his best friend into a hug as his way of offering comfort and saying he wasn't mad. To add a bit of comedy and lightheartedness to the situation, he lifted his legs and wrapped them around the boy, too, forcing Drake to hold his weight.

"Bro, you don't have to keep hiding in the closet," Ricky said. "You can come out any time."

He put his feet back on the ground and pulled away with a smile. "If you can't do gay shit with your best friend, are you even best friends?" Without looking, he gave Drake's groin area a sudden rough thump and the young man crumpled to the floor, the lack of warning catching him by surprise.

"Fuck," he groaned, taking deep breaths and then holding them. "You son of a bitch!" Everyone was laughing except him.

"Why did you hit him so hard?" Dee asked, suddenly very aware of where everyone's hands were.

They left him there on his knees and went into the kitchen, where the smell of tacos emanated from. Everyone grabbed a dish and crowded around the stove to make their plates.

"The vegan meat's in this one." Julio picked up the bowl and passed it over.

After a couple minutes, Drake was able to join them. They all dogged on him some more, filling the room with laughter once again, then they made their way into the living room for a movie. Despite being the recipient of their teasing, Drake was glad to be welcomed home with such open arms. It didn't feel weird and he didn't feel judged. Every time he fucked up, he always managed to convince himself that he couldn't come back here, but every time he finally did, he was always reminded that here was somewhere he would never be turned away from.

"Wait for me, please." Drake set his plate and cup down on the coffee table. "I need to call my mom." He headed outside and called her, then lit up a cigarette while he waited.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Mom. It's me." Obviously it was him. She had his name in her contacts. "Um—"

"How are you, sweetie? Are you still at the gas station?"

"I'm back at home. I'm sorry I freaked out."

"Don't be."

"I'll come back tomorrow."

"Would you rather have Kenzly come over there tomorrow?"

This was definitely a more ideal option for him. He wasn't sure how ready he was to go back there again. He was pretty sure he would've stayed outside on the back porch all day, but this way would be much better. "If she doesn't mind."

"I'll talk to her," she said. "I can drop them off in the morning and pick them up on my way home."

"Okay," he replied. "Well, I won't hold you too long. I know you gotta get to bed soon. I just wanted to call and let you know I'm back home and I'm okay."

"Thanks, sweetie. I'm glad."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

He didn't want to keep the guys waiting any longer, so he put out his cigarette and headed back inside. "Who picked the movie?" he asked.

"I did," the youngest said.

"It was supposed to be my night," Dee chimed in, "but I had to come get your dumb ass."

"Damn." Drake sat down. "Well, I just wanna apologize in advance to everyone for being responsible for whatever trash we're about to wat—ow!"

Julio said, "I don't know how you have the guts to talk when you're sitting on the floor right next to my feet, bruh."

"You need to cut your fucking toenails, dude." Drake was just able to dodge a playful foot to the face. He moved away so that he could eat in peace.

"Kids, settle down, please," Ricky broke in. "Daddy's got a headache."

Dee took this as an opportunity to flirt. "I think I can make you feel better later, Daddy."

Both of the single guys immediately started gagging and fake vomiting, much to the couple's amusement.

---

Drake was leaning against his nightstand with hair-bows and butterfly clips and glitter all in his hair. Kenzly was sitting in front of him, currently undergoing her own Charlie Parker special make-over. Her eyelids were a bright blue and pink and her lipstick was pink as well.

"How come he got red lipstick?" Kenzly asked. "Pink's not my color. I rock red lipstick."

"Not as good as this face, honey," Drake replied, then he blew her a kiss.

"Get out of here."

"I really like my nails, though," he said, examining Kenzly's work. "Like, I might actually keep these."

"You should!" she exclaimed. "And then we could get our nails done together."

"I thought you didn't like nail salons."

"Well, I didn't, but when we stopped being friends, I didn't have another peasant boy to do my nails for me, so I had to fork over eighteen bucks for a pedi."

"Eighteen? Oof."

Suddenly, the bedroom door opened. It was Julio. His mouth was open, but he never got the chance to speak. Instead, he just busted out laughing. Even after he closed the door, they could still hear him all the way down the hall.

"Okay, done!" Charlie said.

"Ooh, I can't wait to see!" Kenzly said. "Do I look beautiful?"

"No."

She scoffed so hard that it sounded as if she'd lost her breath from shock for a moment. Meanwhile, Drake was laughing. When he was able to get himself under control, he scooted closer to his ex.

"I think you're beautiful. She's beautiful, Charlie. You did a great job."

His daughter smiled, then she got occupied with putting some make-up on herself.

"I have never been so hurt," the young woman said, but she was chuckling as well.

"I think you're absolutely stunning," he said, and the way he held her gaze made her believe that he was being genuine. "I'm mad crushing on you right now."

"Shut up," she said with a grin.

Drake leaned in and closed the gap between them. He kissed her on the lips, once...twice. He felt her hand on his cheek. She kissed him back a couple times, then slid her thumb under his neck and pushed him away by the jaw.

"I can not take you seriously right now," she said.

The boy chuckled and went back to leaning against the nightstand.

"But when Charlie takes a nap, do you wanna sneak off and fool around a little."

"Hmm...let's ask the magic eight ball, shall we?" He reached behind him and picked up his little bottle of Prozac, then shook it. "Outlook not so good."

She laughed, then got on her knees and sat in his lap, straddling him. She was hot and she knew it and Drake knew it, too. "I never said you had to get off."

The young man grinned as he looked up at her. "Well, that's hardly fair," he joked, then he received a kiss. "It would be my pleasure."

"Daddy! Ooooooh!"

He pushed Kenzly off and rushed over to his daughter, who had an upside-down bottle of liquid foundation in her hand. "Charlie, what are you doing?!" He took it from her, then set it on the dresser.

"I just bought that!" Kenzly exclaimed.

"I'll buy you another one," said Drake. "Bruh, oh my God, Charlie," he said as he looked from the foundation puddle on the floor to her artwork. The wall was her canvas and make-up was the media. "Damn it."

"Ooooh! You said a b-word!"

"I know, I know. Sorry." He wiped at some of the lipstick lines and saw that it left a stain. "Shit, Ricky's gonna be so pissed."

Unfortunately for him, the last person he wanted to see just so happened to be walking by and, upon hearing his name, he opened the door. The sight before him was unexpected. He saw Kenzly and her wacky make-over first, but when he stepped in and peeked behind the door, he saw the disaster.

Before he could say anything, Drake started. "I'm sorry. I'll clean it. I wasn't watching—"

However, Ricardo said nothing and left the room. He didn't seem excessively angry, but he wasn't enthused about the redecorating either. He'd probably left before he blew up. Drake would definitely get one of those calm Ricky lectures later tonight. The man was definitely anal when it came to the cleanliness of his home.

"Dude, all my make-up is ruined!" Kenzly said. She was trying not to be frustrated because she was partly to blame, but she couldn't help it.

"Sorry, I'll replace it," her ex said.

"Daddy, you wike my pikchuw?"

"It's very pretty," he said, "but Charlie, you're not supposed to draw on walls. That's what paper is for."

"Oopsie daisy."

He wasn't sure where this new phrase had come from, but it was so adorable, and all his anger always melted away when he heard it. He sighed. "You're gonna help me clean this up, right?"

"No."

"Um, yes."

"I don't wanna cwean it. It wanit to stay fowevew."

"I wish it could, but Uncle Icky is upset about it."

"Upset?"

"Yeah, so we have to clean it up."

"But I like it!"

"You can draw another one," he said. "On paper this time."

"I don't want to."

"It'll be fun. I'll get you some pretty crayons and, when you're done, I'll hang it on the refrigerator so everyone can see it," he said. "Doesn't that sound cool?"

"Okay," she agreed sadly.

"I'll try to get this out of the carpet," Kenzly offered.

---

"Are my green striped pajama pants over here?" Dee asked as he led his boyfriend up the stairs. "I haven't been able to find them anywhere."

"Yeah, they're in your drawer."

"I'm so tired, I don't even feel like changing into pj's."

"You had a long day at work. I'll give you a shoulder rub before bed."

"That sounds nice."

"Lemme just talk to Drake and see how he's doing."

"Alright." Dee gave his boyfriend a kiss, then headed into the bedroom.

Ricardo stopped outside of his roommate's door, then softly knocked with his knuckles. He opened the door and found his friend putting his phone on the charger. "Hey."

"Hey." When he saw that the man was coming in, he scooted back against the headboard and folded his legs to let him sit.

"The wall definitely looks better."

"Yeah, it actually came off much easier than I thought. I'm gonna have to get some carpet cleaner tomorrow, though." It was silent for a moment, which made Drake realize that that's not what he'd come to discuss. "What's up?"

"How are you feeling?"

"I guess I'm okay." He shrugged.

"I meant about tomorrow." Tomorrow was when the young man had to go to court, at which he hoped he could get the restraining order made permanent.

"A little nervous." He opened up even further. "Kinda scared. Who knows what tricks she's got up her sleeve for this one?"

"Do you regret doing this?"

After a moment's thought, he said, "I don't know yet. I just don't wanna get put back in psych."

"They won't do that. All they're gonna do is talk to both of you, talk to your witnesses, then they're gonna give you a yes or no. You're not on trial here."

"What if he says no?"

"We'll deal with it as it comes...if it comes. We just gotta take this one obstacle at a time," said Ricardo.

"You're still coming with me, right?"

"Of course."

"Thanks."

"Have you taken your sleeping meds yet?"

"Yeah."

"Alright, try to get some sleep." He stood. "You know where I am if you need me."

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

---

"Jesus, I'm so sweaty," Drake said, anxiously wiping his palms off on his pants.

"Just relax," Ricardo said and his calm, deep voice did bring the boy some comfort. "Everything's gonna turn out fine."

"I feel like she's up to something. Like, she's in my room planting something."

"You've got your security camera in there. She's not gonna do anything."

"Why isn't she here?"

Ricky was wondering the same thing. "I don't know," he admitted. "I'm sure she's just running late."

Drake couldn't shake the feeling that his ex-fiancée was in his bedroom, going through his personal things. The fact that she's done this multiple times already made him feel violated. His muscles were tense, and he moved about restlessly. He felt sick to his stomach. She was probably in his room right now, moving things around, touching things, going through his underwear drawer, leaving behind some falsified evidence that could incriminate him in a future revenge scheme.

"Hey," the man spoke louder than before. "Snap out of it."

"Do you think you can call Julio? Just to check on him? And maybe see if he'll check on my cats?"

"Yeah. Lemme step outside. Just take a breath, okay?" After the boy nodded, he got up and headed out of the courtroom door. He pulled out his cell phone, then called his brother.

"Yo."

"Hey, what are you doing?"

"I'm eating Drake's stash of sour fruit gushers. Don't tell him." He froze, then said, "I'm not on speaker phone, am I?"

"No, it's just me."

"Is it over yet? Did he get the restraining order?"

"Not yet. Dahlia's not here."

"Isn't she like..." After checking the time, he continued. "...ten minutes late?"

"Yeah. I'm not sure how much more time they're gonna give her."

"What happens if she's a no-show?"

"I don't know," the man answered.

"Do you think she'll get in trouble? I thought you had to show up for these things," he said. "You don't think she's got something else up her sleeve, do you?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know. Her dad's rich. She could probably do anything she wanted."

"Like bribing the judge?" he asked, unsure of exactly what his little bro was insinuating.

"I don't know. Maybe. Anything."

"I don't think we should be entertaining these paranoid what-if situations, especially when Drake's around."

Julio disagreed. "I kinda feel like we have to at this point. Every time we let our guard down, she does something. It's like, no matter how dangerous we know she is, we're always still five steps behind her and somehow surprised by how much more psycho she gets every week. I mean, just take the time she gave him a bunch of muscle relaxers. His fucking heart stopped. She's going to school to be a doctor and she doesn't know not to give someone a bunch of muscle relaxers? There's no way that wasn't on purpose."

Ricardo was still on the fence about this. "What would she have gained from having a dead fiancé?"

"I don't know. Sympathy? A dramatic storyline? I don't know what the fuck she wants."

"Who knows? I'm just so tired of all this Dahlia drama."

"Yeah, me, too."

"Anyway, I was calling because Drake asked me to check in — see how you were doing."

"Everything's good here, bro."

"He wanted me to see if you would check on his cats."

"Damn, he really is paranoid," Julio replied. "They're good. I don't know for how long if they keep trying to eat my sour fruit gushers! That's right. I'm talking to you."

"You mean Drake's sour fruit gushers."

"Eh."

Ricardo shook his head. "You're horrible. You know that? This is a big day for Drake and you're eating all his comfort food."

"Well, he used up all my bubble bath on Charlie, so he'll get over it. Hey, pick up some Chinese on the way home."

Ricardo heard the door open behind him, so he quickly stepped out of the way, then turned to see Drake. "Alright. Lemme let you go. Text me what you want." He got off the phone, then looked at his friend quizzically. "What'd they say?"

"They just called it a no-show," the boy answered.

"What does that mean for the restraining order?"

"Since she wasn't here to rebut any of my claims, they had to go by what I said, so they made it permanent."

"That's good!" Ricky exclaimed. He felt like a heavy weight was lifted from his chest and he knew Drake must be feeling it, too. "See, it was easier than you thought."

"Yeah."

When the man saw his smile, he felt relieved to know that he was happy with the outcome as well.

---

Drake was startled when he stepped through the door and was met by a sudden loud sound. "There he is!" Julio said, wearing a kids' birthday party hat. He put one on his best friend, who stood there in submissive confusion.

"What the hell is this?" Ricardo said.

"Dee and I are throwing a surprise happy Restraining Order Day party."

He looked at his boyfriend, who was seated on the couch. Dee didn't even turn his eyes away from the television. "I had nothing to do with this shit."

"I had mamá make tamales! Come on. Let's eat. I'm starving."

He headed into the kitchen and, still confused, Drake started to follow him, but he was stopped by the older brother.

"Are you okay with this?"

He honestly didn't know how he was feeling. This was so sudden and off the wall that he hadn't had time to process anything yet. "Sure, why not?" He shrugged, then went to join Julio.

Dee turned off the tv and got off the couch, then greeted his boyfriend with a kiss. "Did he do okay?"

"Yeah, he was really nervous, but he kept it together. He's glad Dahlia didn't show now that he knows he'd still get the restraining order."

"Oh my God," they heard Drake call from the kitchen. "Ricky, he got a fucking cake!"

The couple laughed, then went in to join them.

---

"—and I know I said I wouldn't, and I meant it at the time. I know I always say it and then I do it anyway and I hate that I do that. I don't know what would've happened had Ricky not called. I'd sat there for an hour trying to talk myself out of it, then into it, then out of it again. I might've done it."

"But you might not have," his mother said as she listened to her guilt-ridden son's latest confession. "I don't believe you would've."

She said this because she still believed he was good when he didn't feel that way about himself. He felt like she was kind of naive to believe in him knowing that he was a completely different person on drugs. It's almost like it couldn't be helped. He did a lot of awful things sometimes just to acquire the drugs and somehow she still had faith that he was strong enough to say no to something he was willing to go so far as to pimp himself out for.

"Julio said I didn't have to tell you if I didn't want to because I didn't end up doing it," Drake said, "but I just wanna be completely transparent. I know you always have Charlie's best interest in mind and I wanna say I do, too, but I don't and I know that. As much as I want to have the freedom to pick her up and take her out and have her spend the night, it's probably better that we keep going with the supervised visits. I keep thinking every time that this will be the one where I get better, but I don't and I hate that I'm putting you through this again and I'm putting Charlie and Megan and Ricky and Julio through this again. I hate that I'm putting myself through this again."

"It's okay," Audrey said. She reached across the patio table to give him a comforting touch, but stopped herself. "Sweetie, I know you feel like you keep failing, but you're not. Recovery is not linear. You're gonna have your good days and you're gonna have your bad days, too."

For the first time during their conversation, he met her eyes. He processed her words for a moment, then he looked down again and nodded.

"How are you feeling today?"

"Um—" He inhaled...exhaled... "Kinda better. I don't know. Everything still just sucks. I'm frustrated about how these meds are affecting me and I'm frustrated that I blew sixty dollars and I'm frustrated that I don't even feel comfortable going inside to put Charlie down for a nap." He flicked the ashes of his cigarette into the ashtray. "I still think about it and I dream about it. It feels like I can't ever get away from it."

At this point, she wasn't quite sure if he was talking about the drugs or the things his father had done to him. "I wish I knew how to make it easier."

"You already do," he said, "by talking to me and listening to me and letting me back into your life after everything I've done."

"You're always welcome into my life," his mother said, "no matter what. Don't you forget that."

"I won't."

Back inside, Kenzly closed the front door behind her as she sifted through the mail. Junk, junk, junk... "Hey, Megan," she called.

"Hey, Kenzly," Megan sarcastically replied back just as loudly even though she was nearly right next to her in the living room.

The blonde looked up, then held up a pink envelope with flower stickers on it. "You got a letter."

"Oh, cool." She stood. "Which one's it from?"

Kenzly checked the top left corner and was pretty surprised by the name she saw. "It's from your brother."

Megan took the envelope and read it for herself, almost as if she didn't believe it. Sure enough, she saw Drake's awful handwriting. That's what happens when you use your charm to get all the girls to do your homework for you. He always hated writing, so the fact that he took his time to do this made her feel loved. When she saw Kenzly's questioning gaze, she said, "I sent him a letter just to surprise him. I didn't think he was gonna write back, though."

The girl went into her bedroom and closed the door behind her. She was actually kind of nervous to see what he'd written. He never mentioned the letter and he didn't seem to act differently towards her, so she didn't even think he'd received it yet. Knowing that he had read it and still continued to see her daily after knowing some of her inner thoughts felt kind of strange and even embarrassing. Now she was wondering if what she'd said had made him mad.

She couldn't put it off another second. Megan peeled open the envelope, then pulled out the letter.

Megan! Your letter looked so cool! I love the space theme you did and I was super surprised. It actually made my day.

It also made me sad knowing you felt this way. First off, I just wanna say that you're allowed to feel however you feel about Dad. It's not about comparing. He wronged us both. I know I haven't been the best brother and I've always been pretty self-centered. I haven't even realized until now that I've never really talked to you about what happened and asked how you felt. I was always so caught up in my own shit and I guess I just brushed off what was going on with anyone else, especially you, and I'm sorry.

I do understand what you mean, although I guess it's not much of an issue with me anymore because I can't seem to control my emotions if my life depended on it. Dad used to always tell me that crying was weak and I guess that's always stuck with me. I closed off when everything started and I stayed that way until I met Meelah, then I told her everything. I was open with Clem as well, but I know now that she never really cared. She always threw things back in my face or used it against me later somehow to manipulate me. I know how scary it is opening up to people and fearing how they're gonna judge you, but when you find someone that really cares about you like how Meelah cared about me, it's actually kind of a relief to get everything out there. If a guy judges you for things in your past and how you feel now, he's not the one. This is something I'm just learning. Maybe it's common sense. Maybe you already knew that. I don't know. You've always been a lot smarter than me.

I have had a lot of things going on lately, like you said. I know I don't always volunteer this information, but I'll work on that. I've gotta go to court soon so they'll make the restraining order against Clem permanent, but that'll probably be over by the time you get this letter. Hopefully everything turned out fine and future me is sitting pretty without a care in the world. Right now, though, I'm honestly kinda scared to see her again. I changed when we got together. I matched her crazy and we were both crazy together. We fought so much, but when she started hitting me, I pretty much turned into an obedient lapdog. Looking back on it, I know I should've left, but she wasn't always that way. She made slow, calculative moves until it all just became normal. My normal. I think I was always just looking for someone to replace Dad with because I miss him so much, which is crazy because I used to hate him. I used to wish he was dead or that he abandoned us to live it up on a beach somewhere. Now I just want him back, even if it meant that no one found out about anything and it was still happening. Do you ever miss him? I'm so sorry for what I did and I know you'll say it's okay because you wanted me to make it out alive. I just wish things could've happened differently. I always replay that night in my head and think of a hundred other choices I could've made and I wish I could go back.

Anyway, other than that, I've been working on this sobriety thing and I've gotta be honest with you. It is so hard. I don't wanna use because I keep hurting everyone, but living with that guilt of what I've done makes me wanna use. I just keep going in circles with it. I know you're at an age where experimenting is normal and maybe all your friends are doing it and maybe you're doing it, too. I know that what adults say doesn't really matter because we've been hearing since elementary school that drugs are bad. It's different when you're in the moment and you're feeling that pressure from your friends or you're just wanting to numb some kind of pain. They lied to us and told us that drugs are horrible, but the truth is that they feel fucking great. The problem is that, once you've felt that feeling — the second you realize that you can feel so much better than you feel now — feeling regular content or regular happy just doesn't cut it anymore. After a while, it takes more and more just to get to a point where things are alright and you start really risking your life just for a tiny bit of okayness. I keep waking up everyday knowing I could feel so much better than I do and I'm fighting that feeling from the second I open my eyes in the morning until the time I go to sleep, then I dream about it. I know that what I have to say on the subject is just whatever. Another lecturing adult. Blah, blah, blah. So I'm not gonna do that. I just hope you're making smart decisions and I want you to know you can always ALWAYS come to me, even if you didn't make a smart decision. If you don't feel like you can come to me, you can trust Kenzly, but I'm sure you already knew that. I just don't want you to feel like you've ever done something so bad you can't tell someone about it.

Bruh, I wrote so much and my cats are begging for my attention. I hope you like the decorations. I did my best, but you were always the artsy one. I'm honestly kind of ashamed to say I don't know any of your interests other than photography, so I picked out the camera stickers especially for you. Do you even like flowers, though? Is pink still your favorite color? Or was it ever? I suck, but I promise I'll get better at paying more attention to you and learning what you actually like.

Thanks for writing me and reminding me about what's important. I love you so much more than I've ever been able to show. Shit, I'm crying again. I'm sure you knew that already.

Megan couldn't help that she was grinning. This was the most open her brother had ever been with her, and she felt relieved knowing that he took her seriously and didn't blow her off like she was being whiny or overdramatic. She never expected him to write back, so when he never mentioned it, she had been worried that he'd read and ignored her letter. The fact that he'd taken the time to write her back — actually write something heartfelt and real — and decorate it made her feel like he wanted the same thing she did for their relationship and that they were making progress.

She picked up the envelope and dumped out the rest of its contents, then looked through them. Drake had put the stickers he didn't use inside because she had given him some extra goodies in his letter as well. In addition, he added the lyrics to a song he thought she might like: Dance In The Dark by Au/Ra.

After listening to it, she loved it. Drake always did have an understanding of music. Despite not knowing her interests or hobbies or how she was feeling, he did know her music taste well and this song was spot-on.

She put everything back in the envelope, then admired it once more before putting it in one of the drawers. She liked to process and give it some thought before she replied. Plus, she needed to plan her next theme. The letter kind of got her feeling like she missed her older brother even more, so she wanted to hang out with him a little before he had to leave. She got up and headed out the door, but when she did, she heard a scream.

"Ah! Oh my God, Megan! You're so annoying! Fucking hell!" It was Drake, who had been walking by after having just left the bathroom. He was clearly very nervous and unsettled about being inside and was trying to get back to his comfort zone as quickly as possible.

From somewhere in the house, Audrey called, "That's two dollars for the swear jar!"

The young man rolled his eyes and Megan laughed. "You see what you did?"

"Hey, it's not my fault you're such a wimp," she teased.

He whispered so quiet that she could hardly hear him when he said, "Fuck you." He didn't mean it seriously and she knew this.

"Mooom!" she joked.

"No, I didn't!" No longer able to tolerate being inside, he made his way to the back porch and lit a cigarette to calm his nerves.

Megan followed him out there, then sat down even though he remained on his feet. Things were quiet for a moment. She was hoping he would start the conversation, but he didn't. She wondered if he was too lost in his own thoughts or if he was stressing trying to come up with a talking point like she was. She didn't want to jump into anything too personal. She liked leaving that to the letters. Plus, mentioning the letters in person would make her feel awkward. She also didn't want to start with a lame "What's up?" or anything like that. She could talk about a game she played, but that felt so out of the blue when things were this silent and it would sound like she was trying too hard, which she was. Why was it this hard to have a simple conversation with her own brother?

She was beginning to get a bit frustrated when he suddenly broke into her thoughts with a sneeze. This was her in. "You getting sick?"

He sniffled. "I don't know. I hope not."

It was probably because he had been sitting outside in the cold all day, but she didn't say that because his reason was valid. He wasn't comfortable going inside, but at least he was here. At least he showed up to see his daughter. He was wearing thick, blue, plaid pajama pants, which told her that it took effort for him just to get out of bed this morning. Getting dressed this morning had seemed like too much of a feat for him, but at least he came through.

The conversation went stale again. Screw it. I'm bringing up the game. "I played this cool video game at my friend's house the other day."

"What was it?"

"Life Is Strange."

"Oh, yeah, I know that one."

"Really?" she asked with surprise.

"I watched Julio play it. He likes those kinds of games. It's funny because he always acts like his choices are life or death."

"They are!" she agreed and her brother smiled.

"You saved Chloe?"

"Of course."

"He did, too, because he thought she was hot."

"You wouldn't have?" she asked.

"No way. Chloe was a brat. I liked her mom. She was nice."

"Hashtag mommy issues."

"Hashtag shut the fuck up."

"Hashtag that's a dollar for the swear jar."

Although he lit a second cigarette, he now felt comfortable enough in their conversation to sit down. "What did you think of Mr. Jefferson?"

She answered quickly as if she had thought about this plenty of times before. "He was hot as fuck."

Drake chuckled. "He was my favorite."

"Really?" She raised her eyebrows with surprise.

"I always like the villains. I don't know why."

"Me, too!"

"Dad got us fucked up." He blew out a cloud of smoke and flicked away the ashes.

"I liked him and I liked Chloe and Max and I liked Warren."

"Warren was a sweetheart. The soundtrack was really good, too." Of course he would bring up the music.

"Which song was your favorite?"

"I really like the one that played at the end of Kate's suicide episode. Mt. Washington. I think that's when it played anyway."

"Did Julio save Kate?"

"No. Did you?"

"Yeah. I explore everything. There was a letter in her bedroom that tells you which family members she was close to. I think that was the deciding question."

"He doesn't really have the patience for all that."

"Has he played any of the other games?" she asked. "The sequel or the prequel?"

"He played the second one with the two brothers. I liked that one better. The characters were more likable."

"I still like the first one better because of the atmosphere of Arcadia Bay and all the characters, but the brothers' story was really good."

"Have you ever played Detroit: Become Human?" Drake asked.

"I haven't. What's that?"

"It's, like, these robots start to think for themselves and want freedom. I don't know. I suck at explaining, but I think you'll like that one."

Megan pulled her phone out of her pocket. "I'm gonna watch the trailer."

As she did this, Drake finished up his cigarette. After putting it out, he sneezed again, then zipped up his jacket to get warmer.

A minute later, his sister said, "Okay, let me stop there because I don't wanna know too much. It looks super awesome."

Sniffle. "Do you have plans this weekend?"

"No." She shook her head. Finally, they were going to hang out.

"You wanna come over Friday or Saturday and maybe spend the night? I can order take-out and buy a bunch of junk food and I'll watch you play."

"Sure," she said casually, but she was excited to finally spend quality time with her brother.

---

Ricardo lifted his eyes from the pizza dough with concern and confusion when he heard the front door fly open suddenly. A second later, Drake entered the kitchen and seemed to be in a frenzy.

"I know what you're gonna say," the young man started. "I'm late. I am so sorry. Charlie was crying and I was gonna call you in the car, but my phone was dead because I didn't wanna go inside to charge it, which won't happen again." He pulled his backpack off his shoulder and set it on the island in front of his accountability partner. "You can check my bag."

"It's okay."

"I know you don't wanna have to feel like you need to and all that stuff. It's okay." He started to unzip it himself, kind of out of breath due to the rush he had been in and his panic.

Ricardo spoke quieter. "Let's do this later, alright?"

Drake followed his gaze, turning around to see Julio and Hannah seated at the table. "Shit, hey. Sorry. That's embarrassing."

"I've told her," Julio admitted. Besides his brother, Hannah was really his only other outlet when he needed to vent about his worries or frustrations about Drake. She didn't know about his fucked up family life, but she knew about his addiction and that he was shortly imprisoned on a false accusation.

Drake knew the Santos brothers didn't go around spilling his secrets to just anyone. Hell, he had to tell Dee himself because Ricardo wouldn't do it even though it had led to a break-up. Julio wasn't willing to do that, but Drake was okay with that. She wouldn't even have to stick around that long to find out herself that he was a mess, so it was probably better that she'd been warned prior to meeting him.

"This is Hannah?" he asked his friend, who nodded. "Oh."

The girl couldn't help but smile at the awkwardness. "Drake?"

"It's that obvious?"

"Just a lucky guess."

Suddenly, Drake sniffled and the kitchen seemed to be deafeningly silent. He could tell by the look on Julio's face that he had done something suspicious. He turned back to Ricardo to see that he was thinking along the same lines as his brother. "I think I'm getting sick," Drake tried.

"We're gonna go up to my room and play video games," Julio said. "Call us when dinner's ready." He stood and led his crush up the staircase.

Once they were gone, Drake said, "I promise I didn't do anything. It's just cold outside."

"Why are you so jumpy?" the man questioned gently. He didn't want to make this feel like an interrogation although it kind of was.

"I've just been really anxious today," he said, "and I thought you would be a lot madder than you are." Again, Drake unzipped his bag so that Ricardo wouldn't have to feel awkward about checking it. He started pulling everything out and setting it on the island. It wasn't much: a wallet, a journal, a pack of cigarettes. "I couldn't go inside like I thought, so I stayed on the back porch the whole time and it's cold." Next, he went through each individual item. He opened the little green pack and showed him that it was empty other than three cigarettes. He picked up his wallet next and held each pouch open towards the homeowner, but other than some cards, his license and a photo of Charlie, it was empty.

"You don't have to do this. I believe you," the man said.

"It's okay." He fanned through his journal like it was a flip-book, then picked it up and held it so that, had anything been hidden between the pages, it would fall out. After a good shake, he set it back down and took a step back, then began turning his pockets inside out.

Ricky sighed as he watched his friend remove his shoes and shake them to show that they were empty. "Drake, it's really okay."

"I know, I just..." Maybe he'd done it so quickly so he wouldn't have to be humiliated by the fact that it was necessary, but now that he was standing there shoeless with his pockets out and his belongings all over the countertop, the feelings were catching up to him. "I just want you to trust me."

"I do trust you."

Drake fixed his pockets and started putting away his things. "I know you hate doing this and I'm sorry I've put you in the position where you felt like you had to. I'll be on time next time for sure."

"I just don't like feeling like I'm some kind of tyrant."

"You're not. I asked you to do this. I want you to hold me accountable," he assured. "I know I get annoyed with the whole thing sometimes and I don't mean to. It's not you. It's—" To avoid completing that cliche breakup line, he restarted his sentence. "I just get frustrated with myself for having fucked up in the first place, but I want to stay clean. I want to get better. For you, for Julio, for my mom and Megan, for myself, for Charlie. I don't want another person to walk out of her life because of drugs. I don't wanna do that a second time and make her feel like neither of her parents love her," he said. "When you check up on me and keep up with my spending and search my room and my bag, that's all it is. We're just doing this for Charlie and I'm okay with that. Even on the days I'm frustrated, I am grateful. If you don't wanna do it anymore, though, that's okay. I know it's a lot of work and it's like keeping up with a kid and, if I do relapse, I say hurtful shit and start lying and blaming. I get it if it's too much to deal with right now."

"I mean, I can do it. I guess I just needed the reassurance that I'm doing the right thing. I don't want this to mess up our friendship. I don't want you to feel like I'm being bossy."

"But you are bossy," Drake said with furrowed brows and a grin. When his friend scoffed, he said, "Is this news to you?"

"I mean, I was bossy when I was a kid, yeah."

"Oh, you thought you grew out of that?"

"Shut up. You're supposed to be the one cooking tonight anyway. Why don't you take over?" He held out the rolling pin.

Drake stared at him, pondering whether this would've been the outcome had he not started teasing his friend. He sighed, then accepted it.

"Not so funny now, is it?"

"All I'm saying is it was pretty bossy of you to tell me to do this."

"I didn't tell you. I asked you."

"We both know I didn't really have a choice."

"That's right," Ricardo said, and now it was his turn to smirk.

---

"Hey hey," Kenzly said when she answered her phone.

"What's up?" her ex asked.

"Leaving Mister A's."

"Shit. You had a date or something?"

"My sugar daddy wanted to go out."

"Damn. Please ask if he's into emotionally-wrecked men with low self-esteem."

"Should I mentioned your daddy issues?"

"Definitely, and tell I'm I'd probably smash if he tells me I'm cute."

"Is that all it takes?" she flirted.

"Sorry, it only works for men."

Kenzly laughed. "The food at Mister A's is so expensive, though. I was just trying to get some chicken tendies, but Marcus orders for me. He's such a tool."

"But he's a rich tool."

"That's very true. The mac and cheese was, like, twenty bucks."

"He ordered you mac and cheese?"

"No." By the sound of Kenzly's voice, it was clear that she was pouting, but her mood quickly got better. "It was fun, though. He usually takes me to Fleming's, so it was nice getting to try something new. Anyway, what are you up to?"

"Nothing. Dee was wanting to do a game night. Julio's got a girl over, so I need a plus one."

"Sure, sounds like fun. What are we playing?"

"Um, I'm not sure yet."

"Let's play strip poker," she suggested.

Drake chuckled. "I don't think Julio's friend's gonna go for that. She's really shy."

"Damn. I was really hoping to catch Dee in his birthday suit."

"Oh my God, Kenzly." But he couldn't help but smile.

"You jelly, bro?"

"A little bit, yeah." He said it jokingly, but he meant it.

"Hey, when I get there, can you bring some clothes out? I don't wanna come in looking like a rich bitch because that's embarrassing."

"Okay, just text me when you're close."

"Alright," she said. "Lemme let you go so I can see if this Uber driver will switch up my destination."

"Call me back if you need me to pick you up."

"See you soon."

---

Drake saw headlights coming down the dark street, then a car stopped in front of the driveway. He stood and put his cigarette out so that he could pick up the things he'd brought for his best friend. He headed down the steps and met her by Julio's car. As the Uber started to drive away, the girl's dress glittered and flashed, seemingly dancing in the bright light, reminding Drake of the night he had taken this very dress off of her.

"I couldn't find any makeup wipes. You sure you left them?"

"Maybe not. I need to get some and leave them here, I guess." When he unlocked the door to Julio's car, she grabbed her things and got in the backseat, then turned away from him. "Unzip me, please."

He got in and closed the door so the light would turn off just in case there were any creeps watching. As he did this, she unfolded the tee she was about to change into.

"It was you who had my John Lennon shirt!" she exclaimed.

"It was mine first!"

"And then it was mine!" She slipped her dress off, then put on the shirt. Afterwards, she put on the pants. "You got me pajamas?"

"I didn't wanna be the only one wearing them."

"Can you unclasp this necklace? I'm gonna take it off. It keeps getting tangled in my hair. It's so annoying."

Drake did what she asked, then he handed it over. "Is this from Marcus?"

"Yep. He gave it to me today."

"It's really pretty." Had he still been with Dahlia, seeing this and knowing he could never afford to give her something so extravagant would've made him feel like a loser. If he were with someone like Kenzly, though, it wouldn't bother him all that much because she hated that kind of stuff anyway.

"Oh, you still got your nails painted," she noticed.

"Yeah, I'm too lazy to remove it, so I decided to keep it."

"I like it. Alright, I'm ready. Oh, wait. Let me text your mom and tell her I'm here. She gets worried when I meet with that guy or someone from online."

"That's my mom for you."

"It's sweet, though. My mom never gave a shit. When I get dropped off in the mornings, we go out back after she gets ready for work and we drink coffee and smoke and I tell her about how ridiculous some of these guys are and we just laugh."

"That's nice." He wished it was just as easy for him to talk to his mom about his love life and his relationships. Maybe one day when he has a healthy one, he'll be able to do this with her. He didn't want to tell all of his Dahlia stories because it was embarrassing when he looked back and thought about how pathetic and naive he was.

"Okay." Kenzly put her phone away. "Scoot."

They got out of the car and Drake locked the door back, then headed up the driveway.

"I invited you because Julio's competitive as shit and you're the only one that can match that. He wanted to do a bet with me and Ricky. Losers have to do the winner's chores for a month."

"Well, I'm ready to kick some butt."

When they got inside, Julio greeted the girl excitedly. "Kenzly's here! Finally!"

He introduced her to his (hopefully) soon-to-be girlfriend and it seemed to make Hannah more comfortable to no longer be the only girl. The two actually seemed to hit it off quickly when Kenzly thought she recognized her through a mutual friend on Facebook, which turned out to be Hannah's ex. Kenzly had laughed because he had also been one of her exes, too. Hannah loosened up even more upon hearing this and they talked about how much of a douche that guy had been.

Drake joined Ricardo and Dee in the kitchen and Julio was soon behind him.

"What are we playing first?" the youngest asked.

"I liked Pictionary," his brother said.

"Well, there goes my chance at winning," said Drake.

"Why?"

"Kenzly can't draw for shit."

"Hey!" the girl said. She had heard him upon entering the kitchen with her new friend.

"I mean..." Drake shrugged innocently.

Ricardo spoke up. "Kenzly, we have some pizza left over if you're hungry."

"I just ate. I'm stuffed."

"I got a game," Dee said. "It's that one you said you made up. We played it with just us four a couple months ago."

"Trivia Or Die?" Julio scrunched his nose. "Ugh."

"What's that?" Kenzly asked, intrigued by both the title and Julio's reaction.

"It's this horrible game where your partner has to answer trivia questions and, if they get it wrong, you get tortured."

"Ooh, that sounds fun!"

"That sounds fun to you?" Julio asked incredulously. "Not with Drake on your team. He sucks ass at trivia. I got hit with a paintball gun, like, five times because of him."

"The category was soccer!" Drake said defensively. "I told you when we made the cards that I was gonna suck at those, but you wanted to do it anyway."

"I don't think Hannah's gonna wanna play that one. It's pretty rough."

When everyone looked at her, she spoke up, giving Julio an apologetic look. "It sounds kinda fun."

"Hannah! You were supposed to be my out!"

"Don't be a wimp," his brother said.

"So Trivia Or Die?" Dee finalized and everyone agreed, even Julio (although hesitantly).

"So what's first?" the blonde girl asked.

"First, we have to see who is gonna be answering questions for each team and who's gonna be taking the punishments."

The couples chatted amongst themselves.

"I don't mind doing the punishments if you want," Kenzly offered to her ex.

"I'm down, but Julio's right. I suck at trivia. I feel like you're smarter than me. You'll be able to get more right and I really don't wanna get stuck with chores."

After their discussion, it was decided that Kenzly, Hannah and Ricardo would answer the questions. Julio offered because this was Hannah's first time playing and she had no idea what she was about to get into. Ricardo and Dee came to the conclusion that the younger of the two will take the punishments because, last time they played, it was the other way around.

"So do we just make up the punishments as we go?" Kenzly asked.

Ricardo said, "No. This is when we go into another room and come up with some good ones together and, normally, they would take this time to get as hammered as possible, but we cut that part out of the game. Watching them suffer sober is much more fun anyway."

"Bro, just know I will come for you twice as hard next time," his brother warned, but he only received a smile in return before the crew left.

"Guess we should go ahead and get the living room set up," Dee said.

Drake followed him into the next room, then helped him move the coffee table out of the way. Afterwards, they brought in chairs from the dining table and lined them up. Julio went ahead and took his seat while Drake went outside for a quick smoke. When he returned, the others still weren't back. He sat in the empty seat, which was between the other two.

"So I guess we got stuck on the dumb squad," Julio said.

"You're not dumb," his best friend replied almost mechanically, now distracted with biting his thumbnail.

"Is Hannah any good at trivia?" Dee asked.

"Guess we're about to find out."

---

Ricardo smirked when he heard more vomiting coming from the downstairs bathroom. He put the spoon into the sink, then closed the lid on the jar of mayonnaise and placed it back in the fridge. He was hoping Drake would get this punishment. He'd tried to evenly distribute the types of punishment and anything food-related was aimed towards Drake and his weak stomach. The painful ones were for Dee because, surprisingly, he was actually a big baby, and there were a lot of embarrassing consequences that Julio would hate.

"You alright?" the man asked when his friend came out of the bathroom.

He nodded absently, then excused himself upstairs to mouthwash, still clearly traumatized by the spoonful of mayo he'd been forced to down. When he returned, he was led into the garage to fulfill his punishment for not completing the punishment. The rule was that, if someone passed on or didn't complete his punishment three times, then the game was over. This was Drake's first strike. The other two boys had none.

"Bro, you're too close!" Drake's muscles tightened and he tried to make himself as small as possible as the paintball gun was aimed at him. He had his hands cupping his groin for protection because he knew Julio.

Julio stepped back only when his brother told him to, then he said, "Stop moving."

The boy wasn't meaning to move. It's just that, the longer he waited, the further he seemed to curl into himself. He was gradually becoming more and more sideways, and his feet shuffled ever so slightly. Drake knew his friend was fucking with him by making him wait so long and anticipate the pain to come and it was absolute torture. "Dude, hurry u—"

And in that moment when Drake let his guard down, Julio pressed the trigger.

"Asshole!" Drake exclaimed and everyone was laughing.

Julio had missed his mark, but only slightly. Right on the victim's inner thigh was a pink paint splatter and, underneath his clothes, was, no doubt, a large red welt.

The crew soon headed inside, then took their seats. Drake sat on Julio's lap, which was his punishment from a previous question. It actually was more annoying than embarrassing just because his friend kept pinching him and poking at his back. He was probably mad because he'd had to give Drake a lap-dance a few rounds ago and Drake may have teased him a little bit too hard. Needless to say, Drenzly was currently in last place. Deecardo was in the lead, with Hanulio close behind.

"Okay, Hannah's turn," Kenzly said. She was wearing her partner's clothes and vice versa since this was the punishment Drake had drawn out of the bowl when she'd missed a question about politics. "That was the third round, right? I get to pick a new category?" With this confirmed, she chose '90's pop culture, which filled her fellow loser with relief. Now that it was her turn to pick, she was going to make everyone pay and Drake will be safe for a while. "Let's start with an easy one. Which boy band has an album called Millennium?"

"Um..."

"Oh my God," Julio mumbled, lowering his head because he already knew he was about to receive some kind of awful torture.

"You didn't listen to boy bands?" Kenzly asked incredulously.

"Not really." Hannah smiled apologetically at her partner. She was the youngest person here, so she was born closer to the end of that decade.

"Just think of some of the most popular boy bands from that time," Ricardo said, sympathizing with her.

"Um...I guess...*NSYNC?"

Julio groaned loudly and his partner couldn't help but laugh.

"Oops."

"It's Backstreet Boys," Drake said. If the person who had to answer the question got it wrong, the partner of the asker got the chance to answer it. He received a high five from an excited Kenzly.

"So now you can reverse a punishment," Julio said, "so move."

"I could do that," his friend agreed, "or I can choose which one of you has to draw a punishment. And since you haven't stopped poking and pinching me—"

"Are you really that petty?"

"I might be."

"You can literally go sit in your own seat."

After making him sweat the threat of a punishment for a little while longer, he decided to reverse one of his own punishments rather than force Julio to take one because he didn't want his friend to be too mad at him. Drake returned to his own seat, then Hannah asked her question after finding one from Google.

"Who bit off part of Evander Holyfield's ear in a boxing match?"

It was Ricardo's turn to answer. "Mike Tyson."

"That's my man," Dee cheered as he held a microphone to his mouth. Thanks to his partner, he hadn't had to suffer too many consequences, but one did involve speaking into a mic.

"Okay, ready?" he asked Kenzly. He had a question ready on his phone. "I tried to find a hard one. What does AOL stand for?"

"American Online."

"Damn," Ricky said, and Drake grinned.

"Hannah—" Kenzly turned to her. "—what was the name of the girl Cory liked in Boy Meets World?"

"What?" she chuckled shyly. "I've never even seen that."

"You guys just wait," Julio said. "Hannah gets to pick the next category and you're all gonna be eating it next round."

When Hannah gave up, Drake answered Topanga, which was correct. He chose for Julio to take the punishment because, after walking in the way he had earlier and giving her a bad first impression of him, he felt like he couldn't pass a punishment onto her and give her anymore reasons to dislike him.

Julio drew a piece of paper out of the bowl, unfolded it... "Oh my God."

"Lemme see," Drake said.

"It says to let one of you pick a person in my phone and I have to call and sing happy birthday."

His brother laughed. Julio had been taking a lot of the embarrassing punishments lately and he was enjoying every minute of it.

"Pass it over." Kenzly held out her hand.

He hesitantly relinquished his cell. The girl smirked evilly as she scrolled through.

After a minute or so, Julio begrudgingly said, "You're thinking real hard for someone who doesn't know who half of these people are."

"Hush." Soon, she looked at him and asked, "Ready?" He didn't really answer, but she pressed call anyway and put it on speaker.

Not long after, there was a, "Hello?" and Drake recognized his sister's voice immediately.

"Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you." The boy's unenthusiastic voice made this all the more funnier. "Happy birthday, dear Megan. Happy birthday to you."

For a moment, there was complete silence, then, "You're such a dumbass."

No one could contain it anymore. The room exploded with laughter. Julio's face was turning pink and he rolled his eyes with annoyance.

"Okay," he said with irritation. "Bye."

Drake quickly stopped him. "No, don't hang up. Rude." He motioned for the phone and took it off speaker. "Hey, Megan. What's up?"

"Listening to music on my laptop. What's going on over there?"

"We're playing a trivia game."

Julio broke in. "Tell her I'm about to text her mom and let her know Megan needs to drop some money in the swear jar."

"Julio said he loves you and he thinks you're really funny."

The girl laughed. "Have you had to make any embarrassing phone calls?"

"Ugh, I had to call a random number and flirt for at least a minute or get shot with a paintball and the person that answered was a fucking dude."

"Did you keep him on the line for a minute, though?"

He scoffed jokingly as if he was hurt by the fact that she even had to ask. "I'm Drake," he explained. "I kept him on the line for four."

His sister laughed. Every now and then, a bit of the old Drake would rise to the surface and, although she was no longer sure if that person was ever really her brother or one of the masks he'd hidden behind, that piece of familiarity gave her comfort.

"Are you winning?"

The young man put his hand up to block his lips and quietly said into the phone, "With Kenzly as my partner? No chance."

"Hey!" his ex exclaimed. "Okay, bet. I'm about to get the rest of the questions wrong on purpose."

"I'm kidding," Drake said. He wasn't sure if she was serious or not, but he sucked up a bit just to be on the safe side. "She's had a few hard questions, though, but she got to pick the category this time and she's totally killing it. She's the smartest person ever. Okay? Don't sabotage me, please."

"Yikes. Good luck," Megan said.

This was their first casual phone conversation, so neither one really knew how or when to end it, but he could tell that she was about to and he felt bad for not checking in. "Anyway, how are you?" he asked.

"I'm okay."

He didn't really expect anything more yet. Maybe one day in the future they could move further than letters. "Is Charlie sleeping?"

"Not yet. Mom's laying down with her."

"Okay. Well, I'll let you go."

"Bye."

"I love you," Drake said nervously.

"Love you, too."

He could tell it was just as hard for her to say those words out loud as it was for him. It's not that they didn't love each other. It's just that they were never the type to say it. It made them both feel vulnerable.

"Goodnight." He passed the phone back to his friend. "Sorry," he said. "I just didn't wanna call and not talk to her. Where's Dee?"

"He went to grab dessert," Ricky answered.

"I'm gonna run outside really quick then." He stood and Kenzly followed.

"I'll join you."

---

"Sorry you got stuck doing Ricardo's chores." Kenzly was both frowning and smiling at the same time.

"Nah, it's not that bad," Drake said, folding his arm underneath his head. "Since he works all the time, I've pretty much been doing most of his chores anyway because I feel bad about not working. Now can pawn some of those off on Julio, so it's actually kind of a win."

"He wasn't as competitive as I remember him being."

"I think he was trying not to be an asshole in front of Hannah."

"Hannah's so nice. I love her," Kenzly said. "We need to triple-date again. I had so much fun."

"Yeah, she's super sweet. I don't feel like she judges me. Maybe it's because she was warned. I made the worst first impression today, but she was really cool about it."

"What'd you do?"

"I was past curfew and I was kinda freaking out, and I came in all frantic and apologizing and emptying my bag for Ricky, and I didn't see her and Julio sitting at the table."

"Embarrassing."

"It was," he agreed, "so I'm glad Julio told her about me because that would've been so much worse had she not known anything." When Drake's phone dinged, he reached over towards the nightstand and lifted it.

Julio Santos: yall busy [wink emoji]

His friend couldn't help but chuckle to himself as he rolled his eyes. "I think Julio's bored."

Drake Parker: nah

"Do you care if he comes to hang out? Or are you trying to sleep?"

"Only if he brings me a yummy surprise."

Drake Parker: come over

Drake Parker: bring snacks

"So I saw that you sent Megan a letter," Kenzly said.

The boy set his phone down. "Yeah, she sent me one and it looked super dope. Have you seen it?" When she shook her head, he opened the drawer of his nightstand and pulled out the envelope.

"She's super creative," the blonde said as she examined it.

"It was so nice. I only really get mail from Rhinestone. We exchange short letters just because he says most of what he has to say over the phone and they're not usually decorated, but he always makes a whole package and sends me, like, random stuff that made him think of me. I wasn't expecting Megan's letter at all."

"She was really surprised you wrote her back. I could tell it made her really happy — whatever you wrote. That was very sweet of you."

This made Drake feel a warmth in his heart. "We've known each other our whole lives and we've never really had an actual conversation with each other. I hardly even paid attention to her, especially after Josh moved in. We've been pretty shitty to each other, so we're working through some things."

"That's good." Kenzly smiled. She viewed Megan like a little sister, and seeing Megan so happy made her happy. She was genuinely glad that the siblings were finally coming together.

At that moment, the door opened, and Julio came in. "Why the fuck is your door shut? Did you know you locked your cats out? They've been in my room laying all over me for the last half hour. Fucking annoying." Drake grinned as Julio let the cats leap from one arm. He then dumped a box of Cheez-Itz, Honey Buns, flamin' hot Funyuns and Nutty Buddy's onto the bed. "I wasn't sure if you were going for sweet or salty."

Kenzly's eyes lit up. "Yum!" She pushed herself up and grabbed for a Honey Bun.

---

Drake opened his eyes and found himself looking at the ceiling. He exhaled a slow, calming breath, then turned his head to the side to see Kenzly. She was asleep with her back turned to him. On the other side of him was Julio. He, too, was asleep. Drake tapped him, but that did nothing, so he shook his arm. It took a moment, but this finally woke his friend.

"Hmm?"

Drake whispered, "You going to a meeting?"

There was a long sigh, then a strained, "Yeah."

"I need to leave early. I have to pick up Charlie before Megan goes to school."

The two got up and Julio headed to the bathroom first, so Drake went over to his dresser and grabbed some jeans. He removed his pajama pants and, as he stepped into the jeans, Kenzly turned over. Her eyes opened groggily.

"You going somewhere?"

"I'm gonna drop Julio off at a meeting." He buttoned his pants, then zipped them. He was still talking quietly. "I was gonna let you sleep. I didn't mean to wake you. Do you wanna stay or go?"

"I'll stay." The girl could hardly keep her eyes open. She had bad bedhead and some of the make-up from the night before was smeared.

Drake wasn't sure why, but he had the urge to kiss her, so he did. He got on the bed and crawled over to her, then leaned down and connected their lips. "I love you," came out of his mouth like an unstoppable force.

Kenzly grinned, still too tired to hold her eyes open. "Breath reeks."

The boy chuckled.

"I love you, too." She gave him a peck on the cheek. "Grab my card out of my bag. I'm buying breakfast." With that, she pulled the comforter up and snuggled with it, giving Drake an adorable smile as she did so.

He wanted to tell her that he really meant what he'd said. He didn't just love her; he was *in* love with her. He could tell she didn't understand it that way. Maybe she was too tired or maybe the thought never crossed her mind because it wasn't a reciprocated feeling. Either way, it hurt his feelings a little bit, but he didn't show it.

---

"I know. I'm almost there," Drake said into the phone. "I forgot to set the alarm. I'm sorry." He said, "About five minutes away. I'm stuck at a light." When the call ended, he set his phone down with a shaky sigh and his best friend could tell he was feeling anxious.

"It's okay. It's not a big deal," he reminded in a voice so calm and confident that it did help a little. "If we're late, so what? It's just school. Even if she misses a day, it's not gonna hurt her. Just take a breath. It's too early for that shit, man."

"I know. I just hate not being on time when people are depending on me." He didn't like the feeling of someone being disappointed in him. "I don't want her to think I'm doing something I'm not supposed to be doing."

"I'm with you. She's gonna know you didn't do anything because I wouldn't have let you get in the car."

When they finally made it, Megan opened the front door before the car came to a stop, and she met him in the yard to pass Charlie and her things along. "You're late," she said.

"I know. Sorry." Having a conversation with his sister was hard when Charlie kept trying to get his attention by turning his head in her direction and repeating, "You hewe? You hewe, Daddy? You'we wlate."

"I missed the bus."

"Shit."

"Ooooooh! Daddy!"

"Alright, go grab your bag. I'll drop you off."

"You said a b-word!" Charlie exclaimed as Megan made her way back inside the house.

"I know. Oopsie." He gave her a kiss on the forehead as he turned back towards the car. "I missed you," he said. "Did you have a good night?"

"No."

"No?" Her answer surprised him. He opened the back door and placed the child into the car-seat he kept there. It was much easier now that he'd gotten his own and didn't have to constantly lug the other one around.

"I had a nightmawe!"

"A nightmare? About what?" Drake asked as he buckled her in.

"The wowm!" She lifted her hands and curved her fingers in, imitating a scary monster.

"What worm?"

"The big wowm! It was so big! It eated me and then you eated it and you frew me up." She pretend-vomited to show her father what he had done in her dream.

Drake grinned, and he heard Julio chuckle. "That's right, because I would never let a worm eat you up." When Megan approached the car, he took his seat up front and buckled his seatbelt, glancing at the clock as he did so. "Are you missing anything important?" he asked his sister?

"Nah. I already took my finals earlier this week, so we've pretty much been watching movies until winter break starts.

"Then do you care if I drop Julio off first?"

"That's fine."

After they took the young man to his Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, Drake asked, since she was already late, if she wanted to get breakfast before school. When they got there, he ordered the food and Charlie got really excited about the play place. Other than taking Megan to school, the oldest had nothing to do but wait around until Julio got out, so again, since she was already late, he wondered if she minded letting her niece play. Of course she didn't. He asked if their mother would be mad, but she said she doubted it because she had good attendance, so that made him feel better.

So that Charlie would have time to play, Drake let her wait about eating until they got home. He took a few bites of his food so that Megan wasn't left alone the whole time, but then he got summoned to help his daughter climb up the triangle steps and he didn't come back until it was time to leave. Charlie was upset, of course, but ended up calming down in the car when he used the Bluetooth to play Yo Gabba Gabba! songs.

"Hey," Drake said when his friend got in.

"Hey."

For the most part, Julio looked fine, but his chauffeur knew him well enough to know when he had something on his mind. Maybe it wasn't that important, but something had him distracted.

Drake furrowed his brows slightly with concern. "How'd it go?"

"It was good."

Megan thought Julio was acting fairly normal, but she could tell by her older brother's curious eyes that maybe that wasn't the case.

"You sure?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah."

"Okay." Drake left it alone for now because Julio was still a bit embarrassed about his alcoholism, but he made a mental note to bring it up when Megan was gone because he didn't want a repeat of last time when he let his concerns go. He leaned over and picked up one of the McDonald sacks. "I got you a biscuit. Actually, Kenzly paid."

Julio took the bag and thanked him.

They dropped the girl off at school finally and Charlie got excited when she got to see the giant buses parked in the lane. She soon got distracted with her hash brown and Drake took this as an opportunity to check in on his friend before he got too far gone in some type of craving or something. However, instead of asking and receiving some closed-off response, he decided to open up first to make Julio more comfortable.

"I told Kenzly I love her this morning."

His friend's eyebrows shot up and he turned to look at him. He quickly chewed and swallowed. "What did she say?"

"Not much. I mean, she said it back, but...it wasn't the same. Like, she loves me as a friend."

"You think she misunderstood how serious you were?"

"Or she just doesn't feel the same way and now I just fu—" He glanced at Charlie in the rear-view mirror and saw that she was busy eating and watching a video on his phone. "—messed everything up. I think I'm just gonna leave it alone. She doesn't wanna be with me and...I don't really blame her. I mean..." There were several reasons he would make an awful boyfriend. Just look at his last two relationships. He caused too much chaos. He carried too much baggage. He didn't need to repeat it because Julio's heard it all before and he knew his friend would just disagree. He sighed. "...you know?"

Julio squinted his eyes as if he were looking through him rather than at him. "You get on my last damn nerve sometimes. You know that?" Luckily, the toddler was too focused on whatever video was playing on her father's phone to hear the swear.

Drake couldn't help but let out a nervous, confused chuckle. This is the first time he could remember hearing Julio say something like this and he wasn't yet able to gauge his anger and how serious he should take it. "What?"

"You know you two are perfect for each other. You know this. She understands you. You understand her. She's great with Charlie. She gets along with your family and friends."

"Julio, it's not—"

"No, listen. You know I'm right. You're not even scared that she's gonna say no. You're scared she's gonna say yes. You are literally sabotaging yourself because you refuse to let yourself have something good. You deserve a non-toxic, non-abusive relationship, Drake. You do. If you don't accept that, you'll end up with another Dahlia."

"And if I do, I'll end up with another Meelah," he rebutted quietly.

"That's not true," his friend disagreed, emphasizing each word. "Meelah had her own problems — drugs being one of those. I'm not gonna sit here and argue with you about whether or not it was your fault because I know your mind's made up," Julio said, "but not every nice girl is a Meelah. Kenzly doesn't have a drug problem. She never would've said yes in that scenario — which is nothing against Meelah. Believe me. I get it. The struggle is real. I'm just saying that they're different. A toxic bitch, on the other hand, will always be a toxic bitch. No matter which one you choose, the result will always be the same. Kenzly is so capable of handling herself. She knows how to say no. It's you that can't say no...to those ideas your dad has instilled in you...to the negativity you think you deserve. Do you really wanna live under that rain cloud forever? Bro, I love you, but I swear to god you're so annoying every time I watch you pass up on something great because you give into your masochistic tendencies. Leave that shit for role-plays and find someone who won't treat you that way outside the bedroom."

Drake was actually pretty stunned, and he was left quite speechless. Maybe Julio was right. He pushed away the nice girls, yeah, but could it be true that he was self-sabotaging? Is it possible that he could have a happily ever after with Kenzly, yet just convinces himself otherwise because part of him wants it to not be true? It was he himself who was in his own way.

"Damn," he finally whispered quietly. He thought maybe Julio would say something more just to soften the blow a little, but he realized his friend was waiting on him to speak. "That kinda hurt my feelings a little, but you're probably right." Actually, he felt like crying and, normally, he would be, but the tears weren't coming. He didn't want to cry in front of Charlie anyway, so that was probably a good thing, but he also didn't like the fact that he couldn't even have the release of crying if he wanted to. He deduced that it was the Prozac doing this to him.

Julio, too, felt like this was a moment when his friend would probably cry, but he wasn't seeing any tears. This made things seem off and he felt like there was something really wrong with Drake. It was rare that the boy had no reaction. Maybe Julio had gone too far. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," the oldest said. "I'll try talking to her again."

Julio sighed. "Shit. I made you sad."

"It's okay," assured Drake. "I needed to hear it. Who knows? Maybe Kenzly does feel the same way."

"Daddy?"

"Yeah, baby?"

"I'm thiwsty."

He picked up the kid-sized drink, then passed it back to her. "Be careful, okay?"

"Okay."

Julio felt the need to be more open and not leave his friend hanging. Plus, a change in subject was needed. "Today in AA, this girl was talking about how she used to wake up in a different person's bed every morning after a night of drinking, and she said she just found out she had, like, three STDs. I don't know why, but I kinda just kept thinking about that. I mean, that didn't really happen to me because of alcohol, but, like, I did do the Tinder thing a lot before me and Hannah started talking again. Plus, you know, Ricardo and Dee just got tested together because they're responsible like that. I've never been tested and I just feel like the universe is trying to tell me something — I don't know — because it keeps getting brought up around me... I don't know. Maybe I'm overthinking. It's probably stupid."

"It's not stupid. You should get tested," his friend encouraged. "It's most likely nothing, but it's better to be on the safe side. Shit, I probably should get tested again, too, after being in the psych ward."

"So you'd go with me?"

"Of course."

This made Julio feel a lot better knowing he wouldn't have to do it alone. "I'll call and make our appointments," he said, "and while I'm doing that, you can talk to Kenzly again."

Drake rolled his eyes.

---

Dee was at work today, so Julio tagged along when Ricardo left to do errands so that he could spend quality time with his big bro. That left Drake, Kenzly and Charlie alone. The homeowner had said it was okay for them to put the toddler in his bed for a nap so the non-couple could keep an eye on her while smoking and chatting on his balcony. They had been outside for roughly half an hour and Kenzly was telling some hilarious story about something that had happened to her the other day. It was hard for Drake to pay attention because he kept getting lost in her smile. He wore his own stupid grin as he admired her. Kenzly's enthusiasm was contagious. The way she used her body to tell her story was adorable. She was so funny and always knew how to make even the dullest days a blast. Her presence alone hyped him up.

"Earth to Drake," broke him out of his thoughts.

"Huh?"

She chuckled. "What are you thinking about?"

"Um..." This was as good a time as any, right? "You remember... You remember this morning when I...?" ...when I said I love you... when I said I love you... when I said I love you... when I said I love you. Just say it. "...um..." He looked at her, but he couldn't hold her gaze for long, so he turned his eyes towards the line of trees. Why was this so hard? Drake sighed. "I was late picking Megan up and I guess I kinda kept her out of school a while and dropped her off after first period. Do you think my mom would be mad?"

His question seemed to confuse her, but she answered anyway because she knew how scared he was of abandonment. "I mean, I don't know. I doubt it. If anything, she might be a little disappointed." She could see a sadness inside of him and she didn't understand where it had come from. "But that's not gonna change anything. She's not gonna shun you or yell at you."

"Yeah," he said quietly. He knew she was concerned due to his sudden mood change, so he brought back that old mask he used to wear when he lived with his father. Drake met her eyes again with a sudden mischievous smirk. "You wanna sneak off to my room and do nasty things to each other?" This would make him feel better.

Kenzly laughed. Of course she agreed.

---

Julio felt a small weight lift from his shoulders as he went back into the waiting room. He saw no sign of his best friend but knew Drake had been released first since he'd gone in first, so he figured he was outside smoking. Sure enough, that's where he found him.

Drake knew when he saw the smile, but he asked anyway. "How'd it go?"

"Well, I'm clean. From HIV anyway. They said it could take a week or two for the results of everything else to come in. I'm not totally in the clear, but I do feel a little better."

"Good. See, it wasn't that bad, was it?"

He shook his head and got into the car. Drake tossed his cigarette and got in after him. He cranked the vehicle, then backed out of the parking space.

"Thanks for taking me. I know I probably overreacted a bit."

"Don't worry about it."

"You going to your mom's today?"

"No, Walter's coming over, so I feel like it's best if I steer clear of that."

"Why's he coming?"

The young man shrugged. "I guess they still talk sometimes."

Julio was quiet for a moment, then he said, "Can you drop me off at Hannah's?"

"Sure."

"She had fun the other night. She really likes Kenzly."

"Kenzly said the same thing."

"Maybe we can double-date." He didn't receive a response. "Drake?"

"Hmm?"

"You wanna go out soon — the four of us?"

"Um...yeah."

Julio could tell he was distracted. "What's up?"

"What do you mean?"

"Come on, Drake. It's me," he said. "You thinking about Walter?"

There was a long pause before he replied. "I guess I just keep replaying how everything went down. I feel like the divorce was my fault. I mean, I know it was. I wish I could fix it. He didn't deserve that."

"Hey, just because they're divorced, it doesn't mean things are over for good. They did love each other. Maybe they just needed some time apart. Now that you're back home and you're safe and healthy, your mom might've forgiven him and something could spark between them again."

"Yeah, maybe," Drake replied and Julio could tell he didn't want to talk about it anymore.

---

When Ricardo pushed the bedroom door open, the two house-cats, who had been roughly play-fighting, bolted out, one chasing after the other. Drake was laying in bed and he had been all day.

"Julio and I are about to start a movie. Wanna come down and eat?"

"No," the boy said so quietly that he almost couldn't hear.

"It's supposed to be super scary. You sure?" He didn't get anything back from him, so he let go of the knob and approached him. "What's wrong?" He sat down on the bed and looked down at him with furrowed brows. "Julio said Walter was at your mom's today." Still nothing. "I know you blame yourself for what happened between him and your mom, but your mom seems to be okay, and who knows? Walter could already have someone else. This might not even be that big of a deal to either of them. It's possible that they're just friends now or they could be trying to work on things—"

"Ricky, I honestly don't give a shit, okay?"

The man was a little shocked to say the least. It's been a while since Drake had suffered from a mood swing like this. "Have you been taking your meds?"

"Yes, I've taken my fucking meds. I'm allowed to be sad."

"I know you are. I'm not saying that. You've just been doing better lately—"

"To you," Drake interrupted and he sat up. "I'm not better. I feel the same as I did. The only difference is that I can't fucking cry because of this stupid Prozac, so when I'm upset, you assume it's just a minor thing and don't take it seriously."

Ricardo was stunned. "Shit, Drake, I'm sorry—"

"It doesn't matter. I'm not taking them anymore."

The man paused, then said, "Can we talk about this?"

"Talk all you want. I've already flushed them."

"Where is this coming from?"

"This isn't out of the blue. I've always hated these pills. The only reason I took them was to please you."

"We went to the doctor for sleep medicine. You decided to bring up the depression and anxiety. I didn't even mention it."

"That day, but you're always pushing it on me."

He couldn't argue with this because it was true. He sighed, then hung his head, trying to choose his words. Despite his friend's irritation, he was still able to speak calmly. "I just care about you, Drake. I want you to get better."

"You want me doped up so you don't have to bother with me," he corrected.

Taken aback, Ricky said, "Drake, that's not true! You know that's not true."

"Just leave me alone."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes! Just go."

There was hesitation, but ultimately, Ricardo respected his wishes. He stood, but before leaving, he said, "When you're ready to talk, you know I'm here." He left him alone and rejoined his brother downstairs.

"What's wrong?" Julio asked when he saw the look on the man's face.

"Drake just blew up on me out of nowhere."

"What?"

"And he flushed his antidepressants."

"What did he say?"

"That I pushed him into taking the pills and haven't paid enough attention to him."

Julio could see that this hurt his older brother's feelings, so his feelings were hurt, too. "Look, yeah, you do encourage him to seek help, so you shouldn't feel bad about that, and you pay more attention to him than you should. You've had a hella busy week. You're working a lot and you've got your own life. He knows this. Something else is wrong with him. You know he starts throwing blame and saying hurtful shit he doesn't mean when he wants to isolate himself. He's gonna feel bad about it later."

"Maybe I put too much pressure on him."

"I don't think so. He told me the other night that he's scared he'll make wrong choices because that's all he feels like he's done so far. He doesn't trust himself to make his own decisions and he wants you to be happy with him. He told me not to tell you."

"So he's just been doing whatever he thinks I want him to do?" It was starting to make sense now why Drake had been less argumentative lately. "But I am happy with him."

"He probably just needs a reminder," said Julio.

"I just feel like there's something else going on, though. Something more that he's not saying."

"Like what?"

"Maybe we got it twisted and he's actually upset that his mom is still talking to Walter. He might feel bad that he's still angry."

"Maybe. He'll tell us when he's ready."

"Not always," said Ricardo.

"True, but we need to give him time before we try to push it out of him. Meanwhile, we'll keep an eye on him — make sure he doesn't start doing sneaky shit."

Suddenly, the front door opened, then closed. Dee turned the corner to the living room. "Sorry I'm late. Did you start without me?"

His boyfriend stood and greeted him with a kiss. "Of course not."

---

It was probably due to the scary movie, but when Ricardo was shaken awake at four in the morning, he nearly went for a punch towards the dark figure before him. Luckily, he realized it was just Drake before he did so. He pushed himself up, still on full alert. The boy's weeping made him even more nervous.

"What's wrong?" he whispered, ready to jump into action.

"I..." Drake's voice cracked. Already, he was crying so hard that he couldn't speak. Maybe the medicine was beginning to wear off.

"Hey, what is it?" He reached out and pulled him closer so that he sat in front of him. He brushed the boy's hair out of his face, then wiped the water from his cheeks. "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry." His voice went several octaves higher just so that he could force those words out. Sobs left him afterwards.

"No. No, don't be sorry." He grabbed him and wrapped his arms around him. "You don't have to be sorry." For a few minutes, he just held him as he cried. "Julio told me you felt like you have to make choices based on what you think I'd want you to do. I get why you were upset with me earlier. I have been putting a lot of pressure on you to do things you're not comfortable doing. You have to understand that I'm not always right either. I've made my fair share of mistakes. I love that we're all able to come together and listen to what each other has to say and we truly value each other's opinions, but we all have to make our own choices. I want you to do what you feel — not what you think I want you to do. Sure, I get frustrated when you disagree with me, but it's your life. You have to live it the way you want."

"I just feel like I always fuck up," Drake managed and his sobbing woke Dee.

"What happened?" He sat up with confusion.

"But you don't," said Ricky. "Sure, you mess up a lot — I'm not gonna say you don't — but you've done a lot of good things, too. I mean, just look at Charlie. Look at where you are. Look at the life you've built around you."

"You built it for me."

"All I did was give you a sturdy foundation, Drake. You did the rest." He didn't get a response, so he asked the question that had been nagging at him all day. "There's something else, isn't there?" There was no answer, which only confirmed his theory. "Is it Walter?"

Drake shook his head against his chest.

"Are you having a craving?"

Another no.

"Can you tell me what's wrong?" he asked gently.

Finally, the young man pulled away. He wiped at his bloodshot eyes and sniffled, but his nose was stopped up. Snot dripped down to his lips and wiping at it only smeared it around his skin. Ricky opened his nightstand and pulled out a box of tissues, then passed one to his distressed friend. Drake cleaned himself off, but he still looked a mess.

Again, Ricardo kindly pushed, "What is it, Drake?"

"Um..." he tested to see how badly his voice would crack. He cleared his throat. "So..." He almost broke down again, but he managed to hold it together for a little while longer. "Julio was upset yesterday after...ugh..." Drake grabbed a new tissue. "...after AA. He was worried about STDs and wanted to get tested."

The couple knew this much, so they waited for him to continue.

"And...um..." He was getting frustrated with how much water kept coming and he kept wiping it away aggressively. "...ugh!"

"Hey, it's okay," Ricardo comforted, handing him yet another tissue. "Just take some breaths."

Drake tried to swallow the lump in his throat. "Mmm..." Sniffle. "He wanted to get tested, and I thought I should do it, too."

The man was beginning to feel a sinking feeling in his gut. "Yeah...?"

"Mine came out positive," Drake said and he met the man's caring eyes. "I have it. I have HIV." He could no longer keep his composure. He broke right there in front of them.

"Oh my god. Oh, Drake..." Ricardo wrapped his arms around him again and held him tight. "I'm so sorry."

Dee's heart ached for him. He reached over and rubbed circles into the boy's back to soothe him. Minutes passed with the youngest crying and the couple trying to comfort him.

"This just sucks," he said. He couldn't get too many words out of his mouth at a time due to his bawling, but he couldn't really think to describe his feelings anyway.

"I know," Ricardo said. "I know it does."

"Who's gonna want me now?" He already had abandonment issues, and this just put his self-esteem at an all-time low. "Dahlia said no one could ever love me and I'd be alone forever, and it's true."

"That's not true, Drake—"

"Would you fuck me?" He realized it was a weird question after he blurted it out, but he got his point across.

"My cousin has HIV," Dee said softly, breaking the tension. "He got it when he was in his teens, and it was years before he knew. He was crushed when he found out, too, but he worked with a doctor and got treated for it. He later fell in love. He and his wife have been married for ten years and he hasn't passed it to her. With treatment, it's still possible to live a perfectly normal life."

Drake was still upset, but his weeping did lessen substantially. Dee noticed this, so while his boyfriend held him, he talked more about his cousin and what his life was like with HIV.

Ricardo eventually convinced him to take his sleeping pill and the boy was out pretty quickly. The couple, however, couldn't go back to sleep. They left Drake in their bed and headed down to the kitchen for coffee.

---

"Hey," Ricardo whispered and, when Drake's eyes slowly opened, he offered a kind smile. "Good morning, sleepyhead."

The boy took in a sharp breath and stretched, a moan leaving his lips. "Time is it?"

"It's a little after two."

Drake rubbed his eyes and stretched again. "I have to pee," came his tired voice.

Ricardo stood so that he could get up and go to the bathroom. The man was waiting for him when he got out. "Were you still gonna pick up Megan tonight?"

"Yeah."

"Your mom called earlier. I told her you had a rough night and would call her when you woke up." There was a moment of silence, then he motioned for his friend to come sit next to him at the foot of the bed, so Drake obeyed. "How are you feeling?"

"Not great," Drake admitted and it was obvious by the strain in his voice that he was still tired.

"Do you want me to make your appointment with a doctor so you can start treatment?"

"Yeah," he said sadly.

"I can go with you if you want."

"I don't know."

"Just give me a heads up if you do and I'll get someone to cover my shift."

"Thanks."

There was a moment of silence, then Ricardo asked, "Did they test you when you were arrested?"

"Yeah." He was given the all-clear then.

"Is Kenzly the only person you've slept with after you were released?"

"Yeah."

"And you don't think it came from her?"

"I mean, it's possible, but I highly doubt it."

"Have you told her yet?"

"Yeah. I couldn't face her, so I sent her a text yesterday and told her she needed to get checked."

"What did she say?"

"She didn't reply. She's probably scared." Drake sighed with guilt. "Maybe mad."

"I'm gonna call a lawyer and we're gonna hold the people that did this responsible," Ricardo assured, unable to hide his own anger despite trying. "I mean, is that still something you wanna do?"

"What good will it do? What's done is done. There's no cure."

"That place is crooked as hell and they can't get away with abusing their patients and trying to cover up an assault by keeping the victim doped up. They should take responsibility for what they've done. Those people need to be fired or the whole place needs to shut down. Who knows how many patients were treated like this? It's a psychiatric ward. They're supposed to help, but they only made things harder on you."

Drake's voice was quiet. "I can't believe this is happening. It doesn't feel real."

Ricardo frowned, then wrapped an arm around him and held him close.

"Does Julio know?"

"No. I wasn't sure if you wanted me to tell him or if you wanted to yourself."

There was a system in the Santos house. Usually, Drake would tell one person and that person would relay it to the next so that he didn't have to repeat hard things twice. If he was struggling with sobriety and mentioned it to Ricardo, the man would later update his brother so that he could be watchful. If Drake was upset and thinking about his dad and brought these issues to Julio, the boy would help him however he could and then fill Ricky in to keep him in the loop. This is the way Drake preferred it because he didn't want to have these conversations a second time. He didn't mind the two brothers discussing his mental health because he knew they both had his best interest in mind. Sometimes, however, when the news was really big, it was kept secret until Drake decided who should break it to the other brother.

"Can you tell him?" He'd hardly had the guts to mention it to Ricky and the only reason he found it inside himself to admit it to Kenzly was because he could've passed the disease to her.

"Of course."

Drake sighed. "I feel like too much is happening at once and I'm just trying not to ruin Christmas for everyone again." Ruining the holidays was so common with him that it was beginning to just be part of the tradition. One year, he ran away for two months due to a drug binge. Another year, he was high as fuck and beaten by drug dealers in his mom's front yard. It wasn't just Christmas either. There were countless other family events that he'd missed for some reason or another, like Megan's twelfth birthday, when he overdosed.

"Don't worry about that. You're not ruining anything. We're just glad you're here."

"I guess I'm gonna head over to my mom's so I can spend time with Charlie for a bit."

"Alright." Ricardo rubbed his arm and gave his shoulder a supportive squeeze. "Call me if you need me."

---

"We're on the way now," Megan said into the phone. Her mom was on the other end. "Yeah. Not yet. We split a slice of cake at the restaurant, so she's a little hyper. Yeah." There was a laugh.

"Can I talk to her?" Drake asked, then he was given the phone. "Hey."

"Hey, sweetie."

"I'm sorry we're so late. The restaurant was packed, and we had to wait a while before we got a table."

"Yeah, well, it's the weekend, so I figured."

"Yeah, I just — I know I missed curfew, but we're on the way. I'm taking back roads so we don't get stuck in traffic."

"It's okay. Just get here when you can." Audrey could tell he didn't want her to worry, and he felt anxious because of it. "I trust you, Drake. Just be safe. It's rainy and dark, so I don't want you speeding, okay?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"I'll see you when you get here. I love you."

"I love you, too." Drake passed the phone back to his sister, then turned his wipers up another notch.

When Megan got off the phone, she plugged the auxiliary cord in and went back to her playlist. "Oh, here's one you showed me a long time ago. Remember?"

"Mm-hmm." When she stared at him, he sensed this, so he glanced at her. "What?"

"What's up with you today?"

"What do you mean?"

"You've just been really quiet and non-responsive," she said. She wasn't angry, just concerned. "We can do this another night if—"

"No, I wanna hang out. Sorry, I've been — I've just had a lot on my mind, I guess."

"What's wrong?"

"It's nothing, Megan," he said, and his tone seemed to put an end to the conversation.

Once he used her name, it made things more serious, like it was her cue to back off and she did. However, Drake started to feel guilty about keeping her in the dark. During dinner, she'd talked all about her life and even discussed some of her struggles with him. She was trying to build a relationship with her brother, just like she'd said she would do. It was Drake who kept breaking the promise.

"Look, I don't mean to blow you off all the time," he apologized guiltily. "I just..." The young man sighed. "Yesterday, I got tested for STDs and it came out positive for HIV."

She was shocked. "Drake—"

"Don't," he interrupted. "Okay? Please. I just wanna have a fun night with you and I don't wanna think about anything else." Drake said, "Remember when everything about dad came out? You were the only one who talked to me like I wasn't some pathetic puppy. That's what I need right now. I just want things to be normal. You tease me; I annoy you. Like always."

There was a silence after he finished, but when Megan spoke again, it was just like her brother had requested. "Should I start with that ridiculous shirt or your god-awful driving?"

Drake couldn't help but chuckle and seeing his smile made Megan smile, too.

And then there was a flash of light.

"DRAKE, LOOK OUT!"

Everything after came in bits and pieces.

Tires screeching.

Metal against metal.

Glass shattering.

A girl screaming.

A child crying.

Drake's eyes squeezed shut tight due to the pain in his head. When he opened them, he found himself laying on asphalt and glass and looking up at the night sky. He couldn't keep his eyes that way for long because the water relentlessly beat down on his face. He lifted his arm to block the rain, then felt a sharp pain shoot through him. "Ah!"

"Shh..." he heard over the loud shrill of a child. "Shh, shh, shh."

He turned his head and saw his sister laying several feet away from him. Her hair was in her face and she had cuts on her skin. "Megan?" he tried. He didn't realize how close he was to crying until he heard his voice crack. "Megan, wake up."

This gave him the strength he needed to move. He put his arm out in front of him and tried pulling himself that way, but he still had his hand in a cast from when he'd broken a bone, so that wasn't much help.

The sobbing and squealing got even louder and Drake finally recognized that it belonged to his daughter. "Charlie!" He searched around some more and found Julio's car laying on its side against a tree. Part of it had caught on fire and the screams were coming from inside. "Gguh!" the young man grunted through clenched teeth as he dragged himself along. His fingernails broke and bled.

"Shh, shh, shh," came a woman's soft voice.

"Charlie!" Drake cried fearfully. "Megan!" A strangled sob left his throat as he continued across the wet asphalt. "Shit! Ow! Gmm!" he growled, his nostrils flaring.

"Shhhh..." Finally, he saw a figure come from around the car and it was holding a still-crying toddler in its arms.

"Charlie..." Drake tried to reach for her, but she was too far.

The silhouette moved towards a pick-up truck and placed the toddler inside. Next, it closed the door and, this time in its hand, it carried a tire iron. It then started approaching Drake. When it got near enough, the fire from Julio's car lit up its features. Even through the rain and his blurry, tearful vision, he could clearly make out the face.

"Dahlia?"

He knew immediately that she wanted to harm him. Drake began scooting himself back with his heels and elbows, negating the progress he had made. Still, she was much faster. It wasn't long before she caught up to him. To stop him, she stepped on his lower stomach, putting so much weight on him that he couldn't move.

"Please... Dahlia...please." He panicked when she lifted the tire iron into the air. Drake lifted his hands pleadingly and he helplessly looked up at her. "Don't! Please! Just give me back my daughter! Please! GIVE ME BACK MY DAUGHTER!" His anger soon yielded to his fear and he was sobbing. "Please. Please," he begged pathetically, his voice slightly higher-pitched than normal. "Give her to me. Please."

After that, everything went black.

---

AUTHOR'S NOTE: So I'm, like, two years late, but here's the update. Like I said, my writing style has shifted greatly, which is good because I did start this story three and a half years ago, and I started the Charlie series as a whole nine and a half years ago, which is crazy to think about. When I started, my focus was on practicing characterization, and I don't know about you, but I fell in love with these characters. I still think about them every day. When I felt like I got adequate at that, I moved on to trying to be more detailed, and I think I went a little overboard in this specific installment. I think my connection to the characters fueled that, and so this story is so much longer than the previous two. Now in my current works, I'm trying to focus on narrowing down what's important and not just, for lack of a better phrase, making fanfiction for my fanfiction (because that's what this one started to feel like to me).

My point is, I'm still writing in the Drake & Josh fandom after all these years. I just have too much of a connection to the Nickelodeon-less, angsty version of Drake I created in my head. Currently, I'm working on a meta slasher whodunnit that combines Drake & Josh with Scream. Basically, Drake is being targeted by an anonymous serial killer. Like Scream, there are several references to horror movies, so if that's your thing, you might enjoy looking for all the little easter eggs. My current readers (mostly on ao3 and Wattpad) all have their suspect lists, and they leave comments with their theories about who the killer can be and why. It makes me so excited when people catch the teeny tiny details. If you're interested in checking it out, it's called "Scream: A Drake & Josh Story". Don't worry. There's still PLENTY of angst. While you wait for the next chapter of this, I would love if you'd check this new story out, and let me know who you predict the killer might be.

To the guest reviewer, I appreciate you leaving a nice comment and pushing me to get back to this story. The Charlie series is the most important thing to me that I've written. One day, I would like to go back and rewrite everything to make it nicer and less graphic, and I hope to be able to publish it one day. I feel like, if I could only get out one story, it's this one. There are so many characters based off of real people and situations based off of real life, so this series just means everything to me. The fact that you were able to connect to the characters in such a way makes me so happy. I can't even describe how your review made me feel. It was so nice, and I super appreciate you.

Lastly, if you are still reading, I would love to know your thoughts, whether it's about the writing, the story, the characters, or whatever. If you're here, thanks for sticking around for so long. As always, CCC ya.

P.S. These are some reviews I've received on Scream: A Drake & Josh Story.

"It is very much sad and the type of gut-wrenching angst that I live for, but holy shit this chapter was just an emotional punch followed by an uppercut"

"omg, I am HANGING on the edge of my seat, ffs. Please this is the best thing ever combining Scream and D&J. I love the horror movie mentions and themes in true Scream franchise fashion"

"This is so freaking good I'm gonna scream omg. Your writing? Fantastic. Your characterization? Incredible. Your talent? Unimaginable. Your mind? Beautiful. I am so in awe of this. This is the first drake and Josh fic I've ever read and now all other fics are gonna be ruined for me because how could any of them possibly be as incredible as this one. This is just phenomenal in every single way. I've been on the edge of my seat the entire time and absolutely cannot wait for more"

"The TRAUMA ohmygod. The crowd is apparently not safe actually hoo boy"

"Ugh this is just so freaking good! Without a doubt one of the best fics I've ever read, for any fandom, and I've been reading fics for twelve years now"