Chapter 12: Kiss and Smell
Fifi was doing some clothes shopping at the mall. She was going to buy some new dresses, hoping she can attract a potential boyfriend if she wears one of them. Each time she found a dress she liked, she would try it on and look at how she looks in the mirror. After trying on at least five different dresses, she decided to buy three out of five of them. "I know my true love would definitely become attracted to moi eef I wear one of zese dresses. Zey're all so pretty I can't decide which one I want to wear first," said Fifi. As she was exploring more of the mall, she heard a familiar voice.
"Bonjour Fifi," said the voice. It was Pepé Le Pew.
"Oh, bonjour Pepé," said Fifi. But her voice didn't sound all that cheerful.
"What's ze matter, ma student?" asked Pepé.
"I'm steell troubled about what Fluttershy's manager at ze animal shelter said to moi ze other day. She says your teacheengs about romance ees . . . wrong," said Fifi.
"Le what?! What do you mean wrong?!" asked Pepé in disbelief.
"She says zat your methods of wooing somebody ees too aggressive and eet's scareeng ze opposite sex. But what I don't understand ees zat eef eet's wrong, how come a boy does like moi, which ees Hamton?" asked Fifi. Pepé thought for a moment.
"I don't know. But I'm still trying to figure how come moi hasn't found ze skunk fatale of ma dreams," said Pepé. He then put a hand on Fifi's shoulder. "You are my student. So don't let anybody tell you any different," said Pepé. Suddenly, Pepé found himself getting hugged by Fifi.
"Bless you, Pepé. I nevair should've doubted you," said Fifi. Pepé smiled. Elsewhere, Furrball the Cat was wandering in the city since Elmyra was still under house arrest.
"Things are sure quieter since that animal abusing oaf is confined to her home," said Furrball. But unbeknownst to him, a baker was working on frosting a cake. He was trying to squeeze out more frosting when a bunch shot out of the tube. It hit Furrball in the back, forming a perfect skunk stripe, but he didn't feel it. On the other side of the street, Fifi was turning a corner when she spotted Furrball. But to her, since he had a stripe, he looked like a skunk to him. Fifi's eyes turned into pink hearts as the love bug bit her, hard.
"Ooh la la! My pepperoni of passion! He's come back at last! Now's ze perfect opportunity to wear one of new dresses!" cried Fifi. She ran all the way back home and washed her new dresses. Fluttershy and her parents were out right now. The skunkette picked one out and put it on. The dress was a bright shade of red and had a scoop neckline. She sprayed le stink perfume on herself and applied red eyeshadow and blush. "Now for ze final touch," said Fifi. She applied red lipstick on her lips, making them ruby red. "My blue beau will definitely find me attractive lookeeng like ziss," said Fifi. She then exited out to find her so called skunk hunk. "I'm comeeng for you, my cuddlicious cutie!" cried Fifi. Furrball sat down under the shade of a tree at the Acme Acres Park. Just then, he felt a tap on his shoulder.
"Huh?" asked Furrball. He turned around, only to get kissed by a pair of red lips. And those lips were Fifi's. She delivered a big wet juicy kiss on Furrball. Furrball's eyes widened as the purple skunkette smooched him. Fifi's lips came off of Furrball's with a loud POP! Furrball's lips were stained with Fifi's lipstick.
"Bonjour. Eet's been too long. Where have been? Life has been ze misery weethout vous. But ze important theeng ees zat we're reunited, my love," said Fifi.
Oh no! I must have a white stripe, so she thinks I'm a skunk again, thought Furrball. She wrapped her arms and her tail around Furrball and gave him a big hug. After that, she began to deliver more kisses. And each kiss left a red kiss mark on the spot he was kissed. It wasn't long before Furrball's face was covered in red lipstick marks. At that moment, Fifi started to let off her stinky scent. Furrball tried to ignore it. But the smell formed a hand that began to squeeze his nose. Furrball finally burst free and began to run away, screaming.
"Le sigh. He wants moi to work hard, non?" asked Fifi. She then began to hop on all fours after Furrball. "Ready or not, here I come, my shy skunk hunk!" called Fifi.
Furrball ran until he came to a fountain. He used the water to clean the lipstick marks off of his face. Then, he saw a nearby scrub brush. He tried to scrub off the frosting, but it was very sticky and it wouldn't come off. "Zere's no need to change you appearance. You're perfect just ze way you are," said a familiar flirty voice. Furrball turned around and saw Fifi standing behind him a flirty pose. Plus, her tail was wrapped around her like a furry boa. She made some kissy faces at Furrball as a way of flirting. Furrball gasped and prepared to run. But Fifi used her tail to snag him. "What's ze rush? Ze night ees young and so are we," said Fifi. Fifi puckered her ruby red lips, ready to kiss Furrball again. Furrball struggled to keep Fifi's lips off of his face. But Fifi was too strong. She then forced a big, wet kiss on Furrball's lips. After the kiss, Furrball began to gag and spit on the ground in disgust. "Come on. Don't spit out my keesses,"
"Well I didn't ask to be kissed," said Furrball. But Fifi ignored Furrball and was ready to kiss him again. But then, Furrball got an idea to escape Fifi. He began to tickle the skunkette's sides. The instant she started getting tickled, Fifi burst into hysterical laughter.
"Stop eet! Stop eet! You're keelleeng moi!" cried Fifi. She continued to laugh as Furrball tickled her to the point that tears poured from her eyes. Fifi finally let go of Furrball and he ran away again. Fifi regained her composure. She saw that her tears ruined her mascara. "Zat little sneak. He ruined my mascara," said Fifi. After fixing her mascara, Fifi resumed her search for Furrball.
Now Furrball was at the lake. He hoped lake water would do the job of washing the frosting better than the fountain water. But it didn't. He then heard a familiar giggle. He turned around and saw Fifi. Fifi giggled again. Furrball began to back away nervously. But Fifi just walked closer to Furrball, with a lovey dovey look on her face. Furrball began to run for it, with Fifi running after him. He then hid behind a street pole. Fifi walked up to him. "Kind of bashful, aren't you? Eet's not everyday you get to meet a pretty girl like moi," said Fifi. She fluttered her eyelashes in a cute manner. Furrball trembled as he peeked from behind the pole. "What's ze mater? You're not afraid, are you?" asked Fifi. Furrball shook his head. "Zen come out and say sometheeng nice," said Fifi. Furrball slowly crept out from behind the street pole.
"T-t-that's a b-b-beautiful d-d-dress you're w-w-wearing," said Furrball. Fifi began to giggle uncontrollably. She then began to chase after Furrball until he fell through some tall grass and into a small pond. Furrball just sat down, looking annoyed. As Furrball looked around, Fifi peaked her head through the tall grass. She giggled before disappearing before Furrball could spot her. Furrball could hear Fifi's giggling, but couldn't find her. Fifi then went behind Furrball and quickly kissed Furrball on the cheek, leaving a red lipstick mark before disappearing again, still giggling. Man, what's with this girl?, thought Furrball as he looked for any sign of Fifi. The purple skunkette reappeared behind Furrball, smiling with amusement. She giggled as she disappeared before Furrball could spot her. Fifi then kissed Furrball on the forehead and vanished again, still giggling. That kiss left a red lipstick mark too. Furrball began to wipe the kiss marks off his face. He was getting annoyed at this point. Fifi giggled as she peaked through the grass, but Furrball spotted her this time. She blinked her eyelashes rapidly. "CUT IT OUT!" cried Furrball. Fifi then began to run for it, giggling with Furrball running after her.
"Come ahnd catch moi!" laughed Fifi. Fifi then stopped running and held out her arms to catch Furrball. Furrball gasped when he saw Fifi hold out her arms and puckered her lips for a kiss. He then turned around and ran for it. "Le sigh. Ziss ees getteeng old," said Fifi. She then ran after Furrball. Furrball didn't stop running until he hid in a tree.
"Whew," said Furrball. He then heard Fifi's voice down below.
"Where are you, my handsome hubbie? Come out and get your keesses!" called Fifi. She made kissing sounds as a way of flirting. Furrball trembled as he saw Fifi was approaching the tree. Fifi didn't see him, yet. She sat down to take a rest. ""Le sigh. You theenk he'd want to spend time with moi since he was willeeng to come eento ma arms ze day we met," said Fifi. Furrball continued to wait for Fifi to leave.
Come on. Leave so I can leave this tree too, thought Furrball. Just then, some dust was blown at Furrball's nose. He struggled to hold in a sneeze. He knew that of he sneezed, it would give away his presence to Fifi. The sneeze then didn't happen. Furrball sighed with relief. But without warning, the urge to sneeze came back and he sneezed. He fell out of the tree and on top of Fifi.
"Le ouch!" cried Fifi. When Furrball recovered, he saw he was accidentally lip locked with Fifi. He gasped and got off of her. Fifi's eyes turned into red hearts due to the accidental kiss. Her heart pounded with love. And the stripe on her tail turned red like a thermometer. Now she was really in love. "Le squee! I knew you cared for moi!" cried Fifi.
Oh no! I made things worse!, thought Furrball.
Fifi once again seized Furrball and began smothering him with lovely lipstick kisses. Now she was kissing him not just all over his face, but the rest of his body too. So now, Furrball was getting covered in lipstick marks from head to toe.
"Oh, my lipstick covered lover. You're so cute zat I could keess you for hours," said Fifi. She then began to kiss Furrball on the lips. And as Fifi kissed Furrball, her smell was growing stronger. Furrball's face started to turn green. He finally couldn't take it any longer and burst free. He screamed as he ran from Fifi. "Wait for moi, my cheese soufflé," said Fifi as she hopped merrily after Furrball. Furrball didn't stop running until he reached Fluttershy's house. He slammed the door and locked it. He panted heavily. Just then, he heard Fluttershy's voice.
"Furrball, you're back," said Fluttershy. Jewel was with her. Jewel smiled when she saw Furrball entirely covered in lipstick kisses.
"Ooh. It looks some girls really likes you," said Jewel. She giggled.
"Actually, it's just one girl who likes me. Too much if you ask me. It's Fifi. She thinks I'm a skunk due to frosting forming a stripe on my back," said Furrball.
"Oh my. I better give you a bath right away and tell Fifi about the misunderstanding," said Fluttershy.
"Please don't tell her! I'm afraid about the result if we do!" cried Furrball.
"Okay. But one day, we're gonna have to tell Fifi the truth," said Fluttershy. It wasn't long before Fluttershy started to give Furrball a warm bath to clean off the frosting and the kiss marks. She was just finishing up when she and Fluttershy heard the doorbell ring. "I'll be there in a minute," said Fluttershy. She then went to answer the door while Furrball dried himself with a towel. When Fluttershy answered the door, she saw it was Fifi, still in her red dress and makeup. "Oh. Hello, Fifi," said Fluttershy.
"Excuse moi, Fluttershy. Deed a cute skunk weeth blue fur went by your house by any chance?" asked Fifi. Fluttershy shook her head.
"No. He probably went home," said Fluttershy. Tears began to form in Fifi's eyes.
"Aaw man. I lost my chance to go out weeth heem again. I put ziss dress on all for notheeng. Le boo. Le boo hoo hoo," cried Fifi sadly. Fluttershy picked up her pet skunk.
"Don't cry, Fifi. I'm sure you'll run into him again. But maybe you can go out with Hamton so that you can still wear the dress for some occasion," said Fluttershy kindly. She wiped Fifi's tears with a tissue. Fifi smiled a bit.
"Okay. I'll give eet a try," said Fifi. Fifi dialed Hamton's number on the phone. Hamton answered the phone.
"Hello?" asked Hamton. "Bonjour. Eet's moi, Fifi. Are you busy tonight?" asked Fifi.
"No. Why?" asked Hamton.
"Cause I was wodereeng eef you and moi could go out to dinner tonight. Can we, please?" asked Fifi. Hamton thought for a moment.
"Okay. We can," said Hamton.
"Le squee! Merci, Hamton. I knew you wouldn't let moi down. See you tonight!" said Fifi. And she hung the phone. Fifi then went to touch up her makeup. Furrball went up to Fluttershy.
"Does she?" asked Furrball.
"She doesn't know yet. But like I said, she has to know the truth someday," said Fluttershy.
I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter. I couldn't resist spoofing the scene from Bambi when the said character first met Faline. Eventually in the story, Fifi will learn that the blue skunk is Furrball. Next chapter, things will start to turn a bit dark cause there will be creeps who try to make sure Fluttershy doesn't undo the cat segregation . . . by any means necessary.