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trigger warning for abuse

Lexi texted Ryan early the next morning that her flight got cancelled and they couldn't rebook her until that night. He was a little disappointed to not see her right away, but it wasn't like the day on the ranch wasn't going to be busy anyway.

That night as they all settled into the bunkhouse after supper there wasn't much to do but wait for her to get back. He was playing poker with some of the guys when they heard someone at the door.

Rather than Lexi though, it was Kaycee looking for a bunk. They pointed him in the direction of one and he went over to drop his stuff on it. Ryan knew Monica was due to get discharged that day, but didn't know what could have happened.

"You want in Kaycee?" he offered as he shuffled the deck. He knew not to ask what happened and figured this was the next best thing.

"I think I'd rather just…" Kaycee was declining but then felt his phone in his pocket. "Hey Lex, what's up?"

Ryan had gotten a message from her about an hour ago that she landed but that was it.

"No, I'm at the bunkhouse," Ryan heard Kaycee saying. "Long story," he answered when she must have asked why. "Why, you need a ride or somethin'?"

Ryan noticed how confused Kaycee looked by whatever his sister said; it worried him.

"Why are you wanting to stay at my place?" Kaycee asked; then he rolled his eyes. "Long story, cute," he informed her, not amused by her throwing the long story answer back at him.

"Well, are you all right?" Kaycee asked. He was starting to get worried like Ryan; vague answers with his sister were rarely good. "Yeah, he's up," Kaycee said, looking to Ryan; she hadn't answered him though. "Do you need me to come get you?"

"I'll be there soon," she answered before hanging up on him. Kaycee didn't have a good feeling about this; he nodded for Ryan to follow him outside.

"She ok?" Ryan asked, unable to mask his worry as they stepped outside.

"Wouldn't say," Kaycee shook his head. "So, not good."

"Why did she want to stay at your place?" Ryan asked, wondering if they could figure it out from that.

"Just said long story," Kaycee shrugged. "She's only stayed over there if she's wantin' to avoid our dad."

"You think it has to do with him being sick?" Ryan wondered. She had sent Monica's medical files to her friends in San Francisco, maybe one of them saw something on her dad's file that she couldn't face.

"Maybe," Kaycee agreed, though something caught his eye. It was Beth and Walker disappearing around the side of the barn.

"That can't end well," Ryan commented, glad for a brief subject change; Kaycee chuckled but then noticed Lexi's car coming to park behind the bunkhouse.

"One sister at a time," Kaycee said, heading around the side of the bunkhouse with Ryan. Lexi met them nearly halfway, both of them stopping dead when they saw her.

"Holy hell," Kaycee said.

"What happened?" Ryan asked worriedly, going over to Lexi and gently taking her face in his hands. He used one to have her turn her head, using the other to brush the hair away.

Her left eye was black and blue, along with the left side of her jaw. Her lip was busted as well. From the way she had walked over they could tell she was stiff, indicating there were more bruises on her they couldn't see.

"I got jumped last night," she said, her voice tired. She took Ryan's hands from her face and squeezed them before letting go. "I wanted to crash at your place so dad doesn't have a stroke when he sees me," she told her brother. "Can we go inside?"

"You need to go to the hospital," Kaycee stopped her.

"Is that your professional opinion?" Lexi asked lightly, trying to ease the tension.

"Funny, smart ass," Kaycee told her. "After everything with Monica getting hit-"

"I'm sorry," she stopped him. "Listen, like, ninety percent of my friends there are doctors. That's why I didn't fly out this morning, they ran just about every test on me." She shrugged. "Clean bill of health, if you can believe it."

"You sure?" Ryan asked her.

"Promise," she assured them. "One thing I didn't let them give me though was a pain prescription." She nodded towards the bunkhouse door. "I know there's stuff floating around in there stronger than a Motrin, so…"

"C'mon," Kaycee nodded for her to follow, Ryan walking with her, guiding her inside with his hand on her lower back.

"What the…" Colby started but trailed off when he saw Ryan shaking his head; he motioned for the others to clear out and they took the hint, abandoning their card game to give the other three space.

"Lloyd," Ryan got his attention from his bed, nodding at Lexi. Figuring what she was needing, Lloyd grabbed a bottle from the stash he kept in case one of the guys was seriously hurt.

"You all right darlin'?" Lloyd asked as he dumped two pills into her hand.

"I'll be fine, thanks," she said gratefully as she popped the pills, dry swallowing them though she winced. Lloyd nodded to her, giving the original three their space in the kitchen.

"What actually happened?" Kaycee was asking her.

"I got jumped walking to my hotel," she reiterated, adding more detail.

"You think I can't tell when you're lying?" he questioned.

"You think you're gonna pull some twin ESP shit on me right now?" she asked sarcastically. Ryan wondered what Kaycee's problem was, but the more she deflected the more he believed him.

"What aren't you telling me?" he asked.

"You wanna talk about not telling each other shit?" she asked, motioning to the bunkhouse, referring to his long story comment earlier.

"Monica kicked me out because I told her what happened with her brother and Lee," Kaycee told her bluntly. "Your move."

"Kaycee," she shook her head at him.

"I'm not a cop, but I don't know a lot of muggers that choke people out," he said, pushing her hair off her neck to point out he saw those bruises now too; she knocked his hand away.

"Baby, we can go outside," Ryan was saying to her, his protective instincts in overdrive right now. What happened that she didn't want to say?

"Whoa," Walker commented as he came into the bunkhouse now, seeing her face.

"Thank you," she told him, eyes narrow, tone annoyed. "And can we just drop it, please?" she asked the other two.

"You have a run in with an ex or something?" Walker continued. It suddenly dawned on both Ryan and Kaycee what happened. It never occurred to them before because it was too horrific to consider.

"Did Matt do this to you?" Kaycee asked her. His tone had changed from annoyed at her deflection to serious concern.

Lexi didn't say anything, but teared up as she felt Ryan's hand on her back again.

"….yeah, ok," she admitted. "He found out where I was staying, I let him in by mistake. I thought it was the food I ordered."

"Did he-"

"No," she cut her brother off. That hadn't happened but she didn't want to think about if it had.

"C'mere," Ryan said, hand sliding from her back up to her shoulder to pull her into him. He kept an arm around her while she put both of hers around him.

"….this isn't the first time," Kaycee started hesitantly. "Is it?" Lexi let out a heavy sigh before starting.

"Why do you think I left the way I did?" she asked back, though he had his answer now.

It all made sense to them now; her coming home so suddenly, abandoning her fellowship, how scared she was to answer the phone the other night, how upset she was she had to go to California.

Kaycee grabbed the nearest object, a glass from the counter, and threw it at the wall.

"Where's he at?" Kaycee asked now; he'd gone now from concerned to furious.

"Let's see, Friday night," Lexi started off, having let go of Ryan; he withdrew his arm as well. "He's probably hanging out at the corner of what are you actually planning on doing about it?"

"I'm serious," Kaycee told her.

"I am too," she snapped, crossing her arms. "What, you heading to California? Just right now, alone," she listed.

"I'm goin' too," Ryan told her seriously.

"You two aren't going anywhere, you aren't doing anything," she told them. "I knew this would happen, I knew I shouldn't have even said-"

"Why are you protecting him?" Kaycee asked.

"I'm not protecting him, I'm protecting you," Lexi told them.

"No offense sweetheart, but if he's beating up on you, I think we can take him," Ryan informed her.

"There's no taking anyone," she continued. "There's nothing to do about it, all right? It's like it never happened."

"How can you honestly say that?" Kaycee told her. He and her started arguing, inaudible over each other. Lloyd whistling drew them back to attention.

"Enough," he stopped them. He wanted this guy dead as much as anyone, but they needed to stop piling on her and listen to what she had to say. "I'm sure your sister's friends at the hospital called the cops," he said to Kaycee. "Right?" he looked at her to confirm.

"No," she shook her head.

"My God, Lex," Kaycee said in exasperation; Ryan was also in disbelief. Something had to happen to this guy, it had to. He put her in the hospital!

"There was no point," she continued to Lloyd. "No point in filing a police report with cops that work for his police chief uncle to end up on the desk of his DA brother."

Ryan and Kaycee looked at her in shock.

"You guys go out there," she continued. "You get arrested and thrown in jail where Jamie can't help you. Then you get hurt, or worse, by one of their many connections in the prison system. They are connected politically, legally and financially to most of the Bay Area. And if you manage to lure him here," she laughed this part cynically. "And he goes missing? They'll have feds in here faster than you can blink and they dig up everything about this place," she finished, blinking tears away. "So it's better for everyone if we pretend nothing happened."

"Dad won't go for that," Kaycee told her quietly.

"Well, that's why I wanted to hide out on the res," she reminded him. "I was gonna say I was helping you with Monica after her discharge, but," she said with a shrug. "I can't go up there," she said, voice just above a whisper, shaking with the threat of tears. Ryan put an arm around her again, pulling her in to kiss the side of her head.

"You don't have to alone," he murmured into her hair.

"This isn't a secret you should have to keep," Kaycee told her, then nodded at Ryan. "We'll go up with you, ok?" She nodded silently, blinking away tears again.

Kaycee led the way out, with Lexi following behind then Ryan. They got into her car, driving up to the house. She parked and hesitated before getting out but knew she had to tell her dad. They all got out, Ryan grabbing her bag from the back for her before they went into the house.

"…dad?" she called into the house as they were right inside the door, Ryan dropping her bag there.

"In here sweetpea," he called from his office where he was going over something with Rip. Ryan and Kaycee followed her to the door. "How was your flight?" John asked as he was still looking at the legal papers he had been served.

"Holy shit," Rip said from where he stood, John looking over now.

"What the hell happened?!" he asked, nearly knocking over his chair as he rushed over to his youngest child. He moved her chin with one hand so he could get a good look at her eye and jaw; he saw her neck then as well.

"Alexa," he said seriously, though his tone was more horrified.

"I, um, I ran into Matt while I was out there," she said, wiping at her eyes quickly.

"Looks more like he ran into you," John commented as he took in the sight of her. "C'mon," he said and they went out to the main room together. John sat in his usual chair while Kaycee joined his sister on the couch. Ryan stood behind her, on red alert even if she said there wasn't anything to be done. Rip stood near her father.

"Tell me what happened sweetpea," John encouraged her, one of the rare times anyone got to see the Dutton patriarch be gentle.

And she told him everything.

She started with how Matt had been controlling at first, all but forcing her hand to move in with him when her lease was up. After that, things turned physical. She explained what Jamie saw when he visited her back in October.

"Jamie knew?" John asked.

"I told him not to say anything," she said quickly. "It was my decision."

"He left you there," John said, his tone level but angry.

"It wasn't that simple," Lexi went on, explaining Matt's family and connections, how she had to leave quietly. She told him everything she told Ryan and Kaycee before about the legal system and everything that could happen.

"He got me out the way I needed," she finished, knowing her dad hadn't been happy with her brother lately. He was often hard on her brothers.

"But you went back?" John asked now, not sure how Jamie had allowed that. That's when it hit Ryan as he had been the one around for the phone call that started all this.

"The paperwork," Ryan said and they turned to him. "Jamie had to file something for your license?"

"It wasn't all about my license," she admitted. "Matt filed a missing person report on me and I had to appear in front of the police to get it dropped." She shrugged now. "Montana can't give a medical license to someone that's missing."

"Montana has police though," John pointed out.

"…that's where the paperwork comes in," she admitted, though John had started to piece it together as he knew she had been upset with her brother over going back.

She explained the call she got from Chris the other night, how she didn't want her missing person report to hit the news. She then relayed the story about her hotel incident with Matt and how she missed her flight that morning because her friends had her in the hospital.

"I shouldn't have gone alone," she said of her secret.

"You shouldn't have to have gone at all," John said, noticing headlights outside. "Speak of the devil," he said, knowing it would be Jamie.

"Dad," she tried to say. She didn't want Jamie to get in trouble with their dad over all this but it seemed unavoidable at this point.

"Ryan," Rip was saying at about the same time.

Ryan saw red as he went outside. How could Jamie let that happen to his sister? How could he be so negligent to put her into that situation? He was the only one that knew, the one she trusted with what happened.

He met Jamie at the top of the porch steps with a punch to the face, knocking him backwards onto the front walk.

"Ryan, what the hell-" Jamie started but Ryan hit him again, this time in the mouth, sending him stumbling back into the grass. Jamie stayed up, shoving him back and they started fighting, falling to the ground. Ryan got the upper hand pretty easily, hitting him two more times in the face before he felt Rip grabbing him.

"Ryan, stop!" Lexi was shouting. That's what actually got him to let up, with Rip pulling him away from Jamie now and nudging him in the direction of Kaycee to the other side in the grass. John was on the porch steps, holding a hand up to keep his daughter from leaving the safety of the porch.

"You trying to get fired?" Jamie snapped, spitting blood into the grass.

"Shit, I might promote him," John informed him, coming down into the front yard with the other three; Lexi remained on the porch near the steps. "You should get a face to match your sister." Jamie looked to Lexi now, the porch light fully illuminating what happened.

"Lexi, what…" he started but trailed off when he realized. "Matt?"

"You knew," John started to accuse.

"She told me in confidence," Jamie stopped him. "I wasn't going to break her trust by telling everyone in the family what was going on."

"You broke it instead by forgetting her paperwork?" John countered angrily, which was going to be his initial point. He didn't care that Jamie kept his sister's secret; he cared that he left her alone to handle it.

Jamie looked as if a lightbulb just went off, like this was the first he thought of that paperwork in weeks.

"Lexi, I am so sorry," Jamie apologized. "There's just so much going on right now, I-"

"This is the shit I'm talking about," John was saying to Rip, having just vented his frustrations before Lexi had come to his office. "And what about you leaving her there for five months?"

"There was more to it than any of you realize," Jamie stopped him. "To help her disappear quietly took time. And none of you know how hard it was to leave her in California."

"It must have been really hard for you Jamie," Ryan spat at him. "Leaving your sister with a monster while you're in the safety of your daddy's house."

"You wouldn't know anything about that would you?" Jamie countered about the dad comment. It took Kaycee behind him and Rip in front of him to hold Ryan from lunging at Jamie.

"Jamie!" Lexi screamed in horror. She couldn't believe Jamie would sink so low. John was the one to take a swing at Jamie now, hitting him in the face.

"Dad!" Kaycee shouted, going over to keep his dad and Jamie apart.

"You're no better than anyone on this ranch," John told Jamie. "Till you realize that, I don't want you representing this family in office."

"You can't be serious," Jamie accused.

"Your campaign focus led to this!" John said angrily. "Look at your sister, look at her," he emphasized.

"I've done everything you asked," Jamie argued.

"Do you think Kaycee would have let this happen to her?" John went on. "Or Lee?"

"Daddy," Lexi begged him to stop.

"You quit this campaign," John continued. "You put this family first or you get the hell out of here."

Jamie looked stunned, from his father to his brother then his sister. He shook his head then, walking away.

"Jamie!" Lexi called after him. She never wanted this, any of it. "Jamie!" she called again, coming down the steps but he didn't stop.

He ignored her, getting into his car and leaving. He never even looked in her direction.

Somehow that was the final straw for her. All the pushing things down, fighting the tears away, telling everyone it was better to believe nothing happened. It all caught up to her and she started sobbing. She turned and ran for the house, nearly taking out Beth in the doorway as she finally came to investigate what all the shouting was about.

"What happened to you?" Beth asked, trying to get her sister to stop. Lexi pushed by her and ran for her bedroom. "What happened?" she demanded of the four men outside. "Jamie didn't do that to her, did he?" she asked in disbelief.

"More or less," John answered.

"Dad," Kaycee said seriously. That wasn't fair. John looked at his three cowboys.

"You three have an early morning tomorrow," he said finally. "Go get some rest." He nodded at Beth. "Go check on your sister."

…

Lexi woke up the next morning after bawling her eyes out to Beth the entire night before, falling asleep as she cried. Looking over she spotted Beth sitting on her bed, in her robe but she had her laptop, working on something. The side she was sitting on showed signs of someone sleeping there.

"You sleep in here?" Lexi asked her.

"I don't do the big sister thing a lot," Beth admitted and Lexi gave her a bit of a playful face as if to say no way; she closed her computer and put it to the side. "Just let me right now."

"Thanks Bethy," Lexi told her, slowly adjusting on her side to lay facing her sister. She winced as her whole body was still sore.

"What happened wasn't your fault you know," Beth told her. Among the things Lexi told her last night, a repeating theme was how she ruined everything.

"Beth, I-"

"Went to California for your career," Beth stopped her. "Met some guy because," she shrugged. "Needs, I'm assuming." Lexi rolled her eyes at her sister but smirked. "You couldn't have controlled what he did to you. It happens to women everyday, doesn't matter how smart or successful or whatever they are. Doesn't make it ok, but it's not your fault," she reiterated.

"Jamie-"

"Is slime," Beth cut in and Lexi gave her a face. "Don't tell me he didn't screw up, because he did. Bad. And that also isn't your fault, neither is everyone getting pissed at him."

"Thanks Bethy," she repeated softly.

"Anytime," Beth assured her, getting up now. "Dad knocked earlier, he wants to see you."

"Ok," Lexi nodded, getting out of bed slowly. She swapped her pajamas for still comfy clothes, leaving her hair down so she didn't draw attention to her neck. She found her dad in the kitchen, getting another coffee.

"Hey sweetpea," he greeted her. She was hard to look at, but he did look at her. "How did you sleep?"

"Ok," she nodded.

"I had Gator leave breakfast on the stove…"

"I'm not really hungry."

"Coffee then, with your old man," he offered her a mug now. She nodded in thanks, following him outside to the porch, sitting in the rockers that were right next to the door.

"I'm sorry sweetpea," John told her now and she looked at him, confused. "Sorry you didn't feel like you could tell me what was going on."

"I didn't think the state of California should burn over one person," she said lightly; she managed to get her father to crack a small smile.

"Thought's crossed my mind," he admitted. "I'm not angry you didn't tell me," he clarified. "I'm not even angry your brother didn't tell me. I'm angry he messed up and you suffered." She nodded quietly. "You don't worry about anything now but getting better, ok?"

"Ok dad," she nodded. John nodded ahead and she followed his gaze; Ryan was walking towards the house.

"Looks like you got a visitor," he told her, getting up to let them have a minute alone. He nodded at Ryan as he passed by on his way to see how work was going that morning.

"Hey," she greeted him, moving to one of the couches on the porch, the one they sat on together a few weeks ago.

"Hey," he said, sitting next to her. "I can't stay long, just wanted to see how you were?"

"Feel like I got hit by a car instead of a train like yesterday," she joked; she wished everyone would stop looking at her like that. She got Ryan to crack a smile like her dad had.

"Guess that's an improvement," he joked back, tucking her hair behind her ear. He saw her neck again and winced; to him that was easily the worst part. She noticed his hand, scraped up and bruised from the night before.

"How are you?" she asked, taking his hand to observe it.

"That's nothing," he brushed it off, flexing his hand as he took it back; it was a little sore. "I'm sorry…" He stopped when he saw her expression. "Not for hitting Jamie, just if it upset you," he clarified.

"Can't say I didn't think about hitting him after the license mess," she murmured. "I'm sorry he brought up your dad, that was shitty." He waved her off as if to say it was nothing and she saw his hand again; she took it in both of hers, noting the injuries.

"Guess this puts the nail in the coffin of me getting you two to be nice to each other," she joked, wanting to change the subject.

"I'm not expecting a birthday card," Ryan joked back.

"Hm," she laughed, kissing the back of his hand, hesitating now. "He was right about one thing though," she sighed.

"What's that?" Ryan asked.

"I don't think I would be a very good girlfriend right now," she confessed. "This has all kind of…messed things up, or me really and…." She felt bad, after all the time they spent together, after their kiss before she left.

"Hey," he withdrew his hand to run it over her hair again. "I'm not going anywhere, ok?" He nodded ahead towards the bunkhouse. "I'm right there, whenever you're ready." He put an arm around her to hold her and they were quiet for a while until he had to get back to work.