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Trigger warning for abuse
Lexi shifted in bed that night, in that state between being half awake and half asleep. She reached over to the other side of her bed, eyes still closed but felt her hand hit Ryan's form. He must be awake too, because he took her hand and kissed the back of it. Something felt different though…had he shaved?
Something was wrong though, as the gentle hand holding turned into a violent grip on her wrist. Her eyes snapped open, seeing not Ryan in her bed with her, but Matt.
"Found you," he said menacingly, before pinning her down, hands on her neck like he had that night in San Francisco.
…
Lexi sat up gasping, reaching for her neck. She instinctively looked next to her, but there was no one there. No Matt, but no Ryan either. He had been hanging out with the guys that night; she didn't want to be that girlfriend that crashed everything all the time so she said she would see him the next day. She was off work and knew they would be doing most of their work around the corral.
Every creak in the house unsettled her though. She got up and decided to see if anyone else was up, though it was after midnight. She passed Lee and Kaycee's old doors as well as Jamie's, those three rooms empty. Beth's bedroom door was open, indicating she was out, though Lexi knew after her comment about Rip's feelings her sister probably wasn't feeling the "big sister thing" toward her at the moment. At the very end of the hall was her dad's room, door also open, room also empty. She went to see if he was in his office late, but he was gone all together, likely with the Governor.
She was alone in the house and that made her uneasy. She went back to her room, contemplating calling Ryan's phone but that would wake the rest of the bunkhouse. She grabbed his football sweatshirt, pulled it on with her pajama pants and slipped on some shoes before heading for the bunkhouse.
Slipping through the door quietly, she found the house to be completely dark. Good thing she knew the way like the back of her hand, though she did use her phone light to make sure she didn't run into anything.
Ever the light sleeper, Ryan woke slightly when he felt her sliding in next to him.
"You alright baby?" he asked sleepily, eyes still hazy with sleep.
"I can't sleep," she told him as he put his arms around her, resting her head against him. He rested his chin on top of her head.
"Wanna tell me about it?" he murmured, hand rubbing her back.
"I wanna sleep," she murmured back, eyes already heavy with sleep as she had found her safe place. He simply nodded, kissing the top of her head as he felt her heavy breathing as she drifted back to sleep; he wasn't far behind her.
The next morning, he climbed out of bed quietly, getting ready with the others before heading back over to his bunk. He sat on the edge, kissing Lexi's cheek which woke her slightly.
"Heading out, I'll be right outside," he assured her and she nodded, eyes still closed. The others were quieter than usual that morning, politely allowing the youngest Dutton to sleep in. Obviously, something was off since she typically didn't sleep there.
"She ok?" Rip asked Ryan as they got outside. It was no secret he saw her as a younger sister. He'd been ready to tear San Francisco apart looking for Matt.
"Nightmare I'm guessing," Ryan told him with a slight shrug. "She didn't say but said she couldn't sleep." Rip nodded silently, both figuring what it was about. Having been through abuse himself, Rip knew that that trauma didn't just disappear.
The guys got to work that morning, with Kaycee having to go up to the main house to talk with his dad about becoming a livestock agent; they were heading into town soon with Ryan and another agent to complete fingerprinting and a background check.
It wasn't long after that when Lexi got up, stopping at the fence to tell Ryan she was headed up to the house to shower and she would be back later. He nodded, not pushing her to tell him what was bothering her. As she went into the house she found her dad and brother in her dad's office.
"I know I asked you for discretion sweetpea," John said as he watched Kaycee sign the necessary paperwork. "But, I'd rather you both stay up here than down there." Lexi rolled her eyes but her dad didn't notice. What did he think she was going to do in a room full of people? Or what did he think would happen to her when Ryan was there?
"I had a nightmare, couldn't sleep," she shrugged from the doorway where she leaned against the frame. "The house was empty."
"What about?" Kaycee asked in concern.
"One guess," she shrugged, shoving her hands in the sweatshirt pocket.
"He can't hurt you here sweetpea," John assured her, voice gentler than before.
"He sets foot in this state, he ain't leavin'," Kaycee said, more to the point. Matt coming there would be a massive mistake, one he wouldn't be likely to make.
"Thanks guys," she smiled weakly. "Just didn't want to sleep alone after that." She shrugged now. "I'm heading to shower," she said, leaving the office for her room.
"What are you thinking?" Kaycee asked John as he seemed to be contemplating something.
"Maybe making some more changes around here," John murmured as he took the paperwork back from Kaycee.
…
Ryan got back that afternoon from the livestock office after helping get things set up for Kaycee. John stayed at the office to do some other work while Kaycee and Ryan went back to the ranch. Kaycee told Ryan to go check on his sister before heading down towards the barn to see what progress they had made on work that day. Ryan found Lexi in her room on her window seat, reading.
"Hey," he got her attention with a slight smile from her doorway.
"Hi," she smiled weakly, pulling her feet back towards her so he could sit on the long seat with her. She kept her knees pulled to her chest.
"You wanna tell me what last night was about?" he asked gently, resting a hand on her knee.
"I had a nightmare about Matt," she shrugged slightly, resting a hand over his. "He was here, you weren't," she elaborated a little more. "I'm sure you can piece together the rest."
"Mmm," he nodded sadly, taking her hand and tugging gently so she would come closer to him, moving so she could sit leaning back against him, his arms around her. He kissed her head above her ear before softly saying, "You know I'll never let him hurt you again, right?"
She nodded silently, blinking back tears at the memory of the nightmare.
"There's no world he's here," he nodded towards her bedroom. "And I'm not, ok?"
"Ok," she verbally agreed this time, grateful he was there now.
"C'mon," he nudged her to sit up fully. "Let go out for a ride or something, take your mind off it. Ok?" He seemed to be searching her eyes to make sure she was really ok.
"Ok, yeah," she agreed with a small smile.
"Ok," he confirmed, kissing her before leading the way out the door.
…
They went for a ride just the two of them that evening after work was done before coming back for supper just the two of them, what was left at her house for them after the others already ate. She felt much more at ease now than she had last night, especially now that Ryan was staying with her that night. She was woken again that night though, not by a nightmare but by Ryan alerting her that her phone was ringing. It was close to two in the morning.
"I don't know if it's the hospital," he was saying as she sat up, reaching for her phone on her bedside table in the dark. Flipping it over she saw that it was Jamie.
"Hello?" she answered, propped against the pillows as Ryan continued to lay next to her, arm stretched over her lap as he had been spooning her before she woke.
"Lexi…hey," Jamie hesitated. They hadn't talked much since the Christina incident.
"Are you ok Jamie?" she asked worriedly.
"I," he started but wasn't exactly sure how to explain what was racing through his mind right now.
"Are you hurt?" she asked quickly.
"No, no," he reassured her. "I just, um, I need some advice I guess."
"Is Christina pregnant?" she asked now.
"What? No," he said quickly. "Where would you get an idea like that?"
"You're asking me for advice at two a m," she said like it was obvious.
"She's not," he reiterated. "It's just….career advice," he settled.
"….ok," she agreed. Her eyes had adjusted to the dark and she looked down to Ryan who she knew could hear everything in the silence of her room and he just shrugged.
"It's just, you've always followed your career," he explained his thought process. If anyone was going to understand his drive for this election, it would surely be his sister.
"Mmm, well, look what that got me," she reminded him. "I got the shit beat out of me." She paused in thought. "So did you, technically," she said, recalling the night he left home.
"Yeah, only one of you had it coming," Ryan said and Lexi nudged him; he turned onto his back, giving her some more space.
"Was that Ryan?" Jamie asked as he had heard.
"Yeah, we're back together," she shrugged simply. "And he's gotta be up in like two hours so…" She hinted for him to get to the point.
"I'm not running unopposed anymore," he started.
"Who could have seen that coming," she reminded him of her warning the night of the Christina incident.
"I don't know what to do," he lamented. "I can't attack her, she…she's…"
"Perfect," she agreed with him. "So, you'd have to go after her backers instead. Meaning dad," she said, her voice serious. "You ready to do that?"
"My new backers are," he explained cautiously.
"Well, I'm glad at least you found some," she said lightly. "I was hoping you weren't asking for a donation." He was silent. "Who's your new backer Jamie?"
"Thomas Rainwater," he admitted.
"You can't," she jumped on him immediately. Even Ryan sat up now at the mention of Thomas Rainwater.
"Your dad will lose it," Ryan couldn't help but add.
"I know that," Jamie agreed. "But-"
"But nothing," Lexi cut him off, tears brimming her eyelids; she blinked them away. "That whole cattle fiasco is why Lee died. And you want to accept money from him?"
"I didn't think about it like that," Jamie admitted softly. Their father and Rainwater hated each other; he never really thought about the root of why.
"Then you didn't think at all," she snapped, voice shaking with the threat of tears. "You might as well ask the Morris's for money," she referenced Matt's family. "They're loaded, and-" Ryan took the phone from her before she could start bawling.
"Goodbye Jamie," he said before hanging up.
"What the hell is he thinking?" she demanded, a few tears slipping out of her eyes.
"I don't know," Ryan said, his voice gentle as he wiped the tears away. He was glad none replaced them.
"I mean, shit, did he actually think I was going to agree with him," she continued.
"I don't know," he repeated sadly, not sure what else to say.
"Do I tell my dad?" she wondered out loud.
"Ah, not unless you want him to have that stroke you're always warning him about," he pointed out and it was true; she was always on top of her dad about his blood pressure.
"I want to punch him in the face now," she grumbled.
"That I can help with," he said lightly and she rolled her eyes playfully at him as he put an arm around her shoulders, kissing her forehead before encouraging her to go back to sleep.
…
"Sorry I'm late," Lexi apologized as she got to supper the next evening, still in her black scrubs from work. She took her seat next to Beth, grabbing a plate.
"It's alright sweetpea," John assured her, sipping from his wine glass. "How was your day?"
"Is she allowed to talk about work?" Beth questioned. "Since she doesn't work at the ranch." There had been a blow up on a different night that week about what was and wasn't to be discussed at supper.
"How was it?" John asked, ignoring his oldest daughter.
"Ah, good," she nodded, taking a bite of her food. "They're thinking of giving me a resident to train so…" She shrugged, trying not to talk too much about work.
"Good," John nodded. "And…how are things with Ryan?"
Lexi looked across the table at Kaycee curiously who just shrugged. Their dad didn't normally ask these kinds of questions; must be something new, maybe making a point about not talking about work.
"Things are good," she nodded.
"Oh, Lexi, don't sell him short," Beth told her. "You and I share a wall, things sound like they're going-"
"Beth, c'mon," Kaycee jumped in for his twin. John shifted uncomfortably, but continued to look at Lexi to continue.
"He's great," she said, drinking from her wine glass. "And a perfect gentleman," she added on for her sister, though she didn't know why.
"Good," John nodded again. "You'll have to have him come to supper some time."
"Or breakfast," Beth chimed in. She was clearly still bent about Lexi's comments about Rip.
"Well, at least I'm not screwing an ex-con out in the hay," Lexi shot back.
"Oh for God's sake you two," John groaned, rubbing his forehead. Beth opened her mouth to have the last word but they all turned when they noticed Jamie in the doorway.
"….I dropped out of the race," he admitted, looking to their father.
"Did you eat yet?" John asked, nodding for him to take his seat.
The rest of supper continued on in silence. Afterwards, Lexi excused herself to her room to change before going to hang out with Ryan in the bunkhouse. Once she was changed, she heard a knock at her door.
"Come in," she called as she was tossing her work clothes into her hamper.
"You sure?" Jamie asked from the doorway and she nodded for him to come in. He joined her in sitting on the end of her bed. "I'm sorry," he told her.
"….for?" she questioned; there were a few things after all.
"All of it," he admitted. "The stuff with your paperwork, the Christina thing, the….money stuff," he said cautiously.
"Ok," she nodded. "Um, thanks Jamie."
"One of the reasons I wanted to come back was to fix this," he continued. "I can't stand the idea of you or Kaycee hating me."
"I don't hate you Jamie," she assured him. "I'm just…mad at you," she admitted.
"Fair," he agreed. "I don't want to keep you," he acknowledged her having plans.
"We'll talk more later," she promised, both of them heading out of the room together.
…
Two nights later, Ryan joined the Duttons for supper. He had plenty of times before, many times in this exact seat next to Lexi. Originally he sat there when he first moved in, in the empty seat across from Lee. He had supper in the bunkhouse once he moved there, but then when he and Lexi were together he would sometimes join the family then, though they sat one chair up as Beth was never home. Tonight though, it wasn't Jamie that seemed most irritated by his presence; it was Beth.
"I'm glad you could join us tonight Ryan," John was saying to him.
"Yes sir, absolutely," he nodded. "Thank you." John just nodded. He was careful not to bring up the clover in the fields as Lexi warned him work was off limits at supper. They were going to have to prove who killed all the cattle though; he and Kaycee had been following up on leads all day.
"We'll need to talk, after supper," John continued now. Ryan wondered what about; maybe about the cows?
"You going to ask him his intentions daddy?" Beth asked sarcastically.
"Beth," John warned. He wasn't sure what her problem was with her sister lately, but it had been enough.
"I'm only saying," she shrugged. "Isn't there an expression about buying the cow?"
"Oh my God!" Lexi exclaimed in exasperation. If her sister wanted to embarrass and get a rise out of her, it worked. "I'm sorry about what I said about you and Rip," she continued, though her tone implied sarcasm. "Where I would get the idea you're selfish and vindictive is beyond me!"
At that, Jamie nearly choked on his drink. Even Kaycee was trying to suppress a smirk.
"All right, supper's over," John said, tossing his napkin on the table. "Everyone out." He nodded to Ryan. "You, follow me." Ryan realized this wasn't about the cattle as Kaycee didn't follow.
"Sit son," John urged, and Ryan sat on the other side of John's desk from him. "I'm sorry about that, I'm not sure what's going on with those two," he said, a bit annoyed.
"Anyone's guess," Ryan agreed.
"I know there's been a lot of changes around here," John continued now. "Mainly with Kaycee taking over as foreman."
Ryan nodded.
"I'm sure you've noticed the tension between Rip and Kaycee," he continued. "With your being on livestock association with him, I want you to be a bit more of a right hand for him as well."
"Yes sir, absolutely," Ryan assured him.
"With all that responsibility, I think it requires a change in living situations," John continued. Was he going to ask Ryan to stay in the main house again? That seemed like a stretch since he and Lexi weren't married.
That was when John pulled a set of keys from his desk, setting them in front of Ryan. He recognized the keys.
"You've been a member of this family a long time," John went on as Ryan stared at the keys. "Lee loved you like you were one of his brothers. So…" He trailed off a moment. "There's no one else I would give his cabin to."
"I…are you sure?" Ryan asked him.
"It's yours," John assured him. "And I'm sure my daughter's too," he said lightly.
"Thank….thank you sir," Ryan said, still shocked as he took the keys.
"You're welcome," John assured him.