A/N: MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Shy

PS. By the way, this is an outtake from WAY in the future where Calypso has arrived at Camp Half-Blood, met everyone yada yada and is purely for my own amusement :D

TRADITIONAL

PART ONE: SANTA CLAUS, REINDEER AND CHRISTMAS OFFERINGS

The first time Calypso celebrated Christmas, she was bewildered, to say the least.

She started to see the decorative lights and pine trees being spread across the strange new city she found herself living in around a month before the year's end. At first, she decided it must be a new trend but as the days grew cooler, she became curious as the trees were strung up with glittering baubles and brightly wrapped boxes lay at their bases.

"Christmas." Calypso pronounced the word carefully when Leo tried to explain it to her. "What does that mean?"

Leo squinted, trying to think of how to explain the holiday to someone who'd been figuratively living under a rock for the past three millennia. "It's…a celebration." He began. "For the birth of Jesus Christ."

"So it is like a name day?" she interrupted.

"Kind of. Mostly, now people celebrate it as a season of peace and goodwill and all that mushy stuff. You give gifts to each other and do good things, yada yada yada." He said, shrugging. He would always remember Christmas in foster homes as the most depressing time of year when the real kids got to enjoy gifts and family and a Christmas tree and then there were the orphans who were half-heartedly handed a new pair of socks or something equally lame and a muttered Happy Holidays.

"That is a lovely thought," she mused as Leo guided them toward the forges. She'd cornered him as he was coming out of his cabin but he was itching to start work. A lot of the campers had gone home for Christmas and with the forges mainly empty, Leo was free to get started on his latest project in peace. But first he had to get rid of his girlfriend.

Yeesh, that sounded bad.

"Hey, why don't you go ask Malcolm more about it?" he suggested, off the top of his head with a gesture towards the Athena Cabin. "He's a history buff, he could tell you all about Christmas."

Calypso paused, frowning as they reached the doors of the forge. "Leo, you dislike it when I speak to Malcolm." She pointed out, slowly.

Leo fought not to wince. "No I don't."

"Yes you do." Calypso argued, raising a brow. "You call him the pretty owl boy and upgraded the Stoll brother's chariot in exchange for them targeting him last race."

Without meaning to, Leo's face turned into a smirk at the memory of Malcolm Anders, second-in-command of Cabin 6, being tossed out of his chariot after one of his more explosive upgrades to the Hermes chariot. "I owed Travis a favour." He evaded. "Look, why don't you ask Annabeth then?"

Now it was Calypso's turn to look uneasy. "I-I don't think I'd feel comfortable with Annabeth." She said, keeping her voice steady. To be honest, she hadn't spoken to the blonde since she'd arrived at camp. Speaking to Percy had been difficult enough, Calypso privately decided confronting the intimidating blonde warrior was unnecessary.

"Now is a good time to hang out with fewer people around." Leo said, obliviously. "After all, Percy's invited us all to his mom's apartment for Christmas this year."

"He has?" Calypso echoed, her stomach sinking.

"Sure did." Leo replied, cheerful as he kissed her cheek and backed up into the forge. "I'll see you later, Sunshine!"

Calypso did not go to Annabeth. Instead, she snuck into the library at the Big House and settled into one of the chairs and read.

The selection wasn't particularly vast- she found around three or so books relating to the holiday. There was the book of rhyming poems called 'carols', another relating to recipes and yet another dedicated to traditions of the celebration. Calypso read through them intently although the more she read, the more she began to realise how ridiculous such traditions were- particularly the stories about a fat god in a red and white suit who dropped down chimneys to deliver offerings to children across the world. She'd never heard of such a god but then, she'd missed out on several new god-births while she'd been trapped.

Since she'd never really had much to read on Ogygia, it was a skill she'd practically forgotten when she arrived at camp but like riding a Pegasus, it came back bit by bit. Her godly background allowed her to learn English and any other language she put her mind to but it was still tiresome at times. By the time she'd finished, evening had settled over the camp. Closing the door to the Big House quietly so as not to attract Mr D's attention, Calypso found her way back to the forge, mind buzzing with questions. And who better to ask than her own personal rescuer?

When Leo finally retreated from his work, she pounced.

"What does the tree signify?" Calypso asked in a rush and Leo practically leapt into the air with surprise.

"Gods above, Sunshine," he gasped. "Can you make some noise next time?"

"And the lights? And what is the function of these bells, do they summon the god of Christmas?" she continued, holding out an illustrated image of a sleigh with jingling bells attached to it.

Leo frowned. "Err…what god of Christmas?" They fell into step with each other and he felt his hand reach for hers immediately. He couldn't really explain it but he enjoyed the warm strength of her fingers laced between his.

She rolled her eyes and flipped the page with her free hand while he held the other two books for her. "This god. He has several epithets but I believe Santa Claus is the most commonly used."

He took a glance at the illustration she was pointing to. He couldn't help himself; Leo burst into laughter right on the front steps of the forge. "You think Santa…is a god?" he wheezed, choking for air.

Calypso scowled. "It is not funny! I want to know more about this celebration and you're not being very helpful!"

He tried to stop but the snickering overtook him again. "Oh gods, you think- and he- bronze bulls, Sunshine, Santa isn't a god."

"Don't be absurd." She dismissed him, flipping through her book until she found the page she was looking for. "It clearly states that he is capable of flying to every home around the world in a single night. There is no earthly way a mortal could accomplish such a feat."

Leo felt like his belly might split from laughter. "Oh man…" he coughed between chortles, wiping tears from his eyes. "You are a real riot, Sunshine."

Her scowl grew bigger, filled with a kind of embarrassment that she'd obviously not understood the texts as well as she'd first thought. She ripped the texts from under his arm. "You are utterly useless, Leo Valdez." She snapped angrily, turning on her heel. "If you won't help me, I'm going to find someone who can."

"Aww…Calypso, wait!" he called out. "Come back and we'll talk about Santa-" Leo tried to continue but his chuckles just consumed him again.

The following morning, Calypso decided not to bother Leo with any more of her questions, considering his reaction to the last lot. Instead, she planned for around noon when a certain Roman arrived in New York.

Naturally, when Hazel asked if Calypso was busy, she nearly leapt at the opportunity to pick the daughter of Pluto's brains. Even though it had been for considerably less time than Calypso, Hazel too had been…out of commission for a long time and much of the modern world confused her as well.

But in this respect, even Calypso had to admit, Hazel was about as helpful as Leo. "I don't know why we use trees." She said, helplessly. "We just…do." They'd ventured out of camp into New York where Calypso had once again scoured the book stores for more resources and finally settled down for a cup of…what had Hazel called it again? Ah yes…coffee. Calypso decided the drink was very…invigorating.

"But there must be some meaning." Calypso complained, looking through her new books. "I mean, they aren't even burned as offerings, they must serve some kind of purpose to the festivities."

"Offerings?" Hazel echoed, confused.

"For the god of Christmas." Calypso replied, dismissively. "The one known as Santa Claus."

A tiny smirk crept onto Hazel's face despite herself. "Santa Claus huh?"

"Leo was his usual ridiculous self when I asked him," Calypso muttered, angrily. "I don't know why it was so funny but he just wouldn't stop giggling like a little girl."

Hazel tried to keep her snickering from exploding out of her mouth with a cough. "Maybe you reminded him of something funny." She suggested, struggling to keep a blank face. "What else do you want to know?"

"Well, I can't figure out why the god would leave gifts instead of taking the offerings left at the foot of the tree." Calypso sighed, confused.

Hazel shrugged. "That's easy. Santa leaves gifts for all the good, kind children of the world and punishes the naughty ones by handing out lumps of coal."

"Ah," Calypso breathed, with realisation across her face. "So it's like a bribe?"

Her friend winced. "Err…not really."

"But that still wouldn't explain why children leave socks on the hearth…" Calypso murmured under her breath, not entirely listening.

"They're stockings." Hazel corrected. "For gifts."

"Why would they need these…stockings? Surely they're too big for mortal feet." Calypso asked, lost again as she traced a picture of Santa's sleigh. "And why does this god use these bizarre creatures instead of horses?"

"I don't know, it's just tradition." The daughter of Pluto said, flustered. "And they're called reindeer."

"Reindeer…" Calypso repeated, narrowing her eyes at her books. "What an odd name."

Chiron blinked. Then blinked again. Then sighed, took off his glasses and rubbed his forehead.

"I'm sorry Calypso," he said, calmly. "But reindeer are not monsters."

"But they have these bizarre horns and show a remarkably unkind temperament!" Calypso protested, displaying her books to the centaur. They sat in his office at the Big House, on either side of his desk with Calypso's sources spread between them.

"Unkind temperament?" Chiron repeated, weakly.

"Yes, look here," she pried a book from beneath the stack. "In this poem, they mock one of their own and only change their behaviour out of fear when the god looks upon him favourably for his enchanted nose."

"Enchanted nose…Calypso, that is a Christmas carol-" He tried to explain but one word tickled his ear. "Wait, god?"

"Yes, the god Saint Nicolas." She replied. "I tried calling him by one of his other names but everyone turns into snickering buffoons at the sound of it. I'm beginning to think it's a rather out dated version that people mock."

"Oh I can assure you, it's current." Chiron replied, trying to balance the guilt and amusement which lay conflicting inside his chest.

Calypso threw up her hands and rolled her eyes. "Mortals nowadays." She muttered. "Anyway, you are certain these reindeer creatures are not monsters? They could be some kind of griffin-hybrid?"

"I promise you Calypso," Chiron said, standing up to his full height as she collected her books. "Reindeer are mortal animals."

"Thankyou anyway then," she sighed, exiting his office. "I suppose I should try getting more answers out of Leo. Gods knows he's buried himself in the forges long enough, maybe that infernal banging has knocked some sense into him."

When she left, Chiron sat back down in his enchanted wheelchair and let out a helpless chuckle.

A/N: Naw, Calypso believes in Santa Claus. Ain't she adorable?

Part Two coming soon!

Thankyou for reading ;)

Shy