Chapter 16- Apologies
Maxie sat at her desk at Deception a few days later staring at her computer. She'd been having trouble focusing on work since her conversation with her mom. And on top of that, Georgie had been very moody all week.
She glanced up when Mac walked in.
He beamed. "Maxie, hi!"
"Hi Mac." She got up and hugged him.
"I was wondering when your break is?"
She shrugged. "Anytime, I guess. I haven't got much work done today."
He sat across from her. "Are you okay?"
"I'll live." She cleared her throat. "So… how's Mom?"
"Well, that's actually why I'm here."
She nodded. "I figured as much."
"Your mom has been very down this week."
"Yeah. So have I."
"You both received quite the shock this week," Mac said. "Are you okay?"
"Not really, but I'm managing. I know I was harsh with Mom."
"She feels like she's failed you. She feels like she's failed all of us. Including Esme."
Maxie puffed out her cheeks. "I don't trust Esme."
"Okay. I can understand that. But your mom… she doesn't want to lose you."
"Yeah, well, I never wanted to lose her either, but we all know I did."
"I just want to challenge you to try to look at it from your mom's perspective," Mac said.
She nodded again. "Yeah, I've been doing that the past few days. I should've been more compassionate when she told me what Ryan did to her. But that was back then. Why has she been keeping this from all of us all this time? Not just the assault but…" she shifted awkwardly "Esme too?"
"It couldn't have been easy for her to talk about. She told me she felt ashamed because she feels she's hurt all of us."
"We needed her."
"I know," Mac said. "But try to look back. She returned annually to make sure you and Georgie were okay. Remember when Bailey Lou was in danger from Peter?"
"Yes."
"And everything you did to protect her. That's what your mom was doing with Esme."
"If you want me to feel sorry for Esme, that's not going to happen," Maxie said.
He sighed. "Okay, don't worry about Esme right now. But can you try to mend things with your mom? You need each other."
"Okay. I will talk to her."
GHGHGH
Felicia arrived at the hospital and went into Ace's room to find Esme sleeping on the bench and holding the stuffed horse close to her chest.
Ace was sitting up in his crib and smiled at Felicia. He no longer had an IV nor the monitors. "Looks like Mommy is sleeping." She walked over and covered Esme with a blanket. She gently tucked some of her hair behind her ear, then went over to Ace. "Hi sweet boy. Hopefully you and Mommy can go home soon. And I hope I can still see both of you."
"No. No…." Esme stirred. "No more…. I—I just want to know. Tell me, Daddy, please…."
Felicia frowned and felt a heaviness in her chest.
"No!" She woke up sobbing.
"Esme?" Felicia slowly moved over to her. "Are you okay?"
She quickly pushed away her tears.
"I think you were having a bad dream," Felicia said softly and gently touched her shoulder. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Esme shook her head, then jumped up and picked up Ace, holding him close.
The door opened and Laura walked in with Dr. Randalph.
"Hi Esme," Dr. Randalph said. "I have good news. Ace can go home today. We're very pleased with his progress. But I'd like to see him on Tuesday for a follow-up. You'll just need to go to the desk and sign some papers, then he's free to go."
Laura wrapped her arm around her. "This is great news, Esme. Come on, I'll take you home." Laura smiled at Felicia. "Thank you for all of your support."
"Of course," Felicia said.
Laura gathered their things and led Esme and Ace to the door. Esme looked back at Felicia before they left.
GHGHGH
"Hey hon." Mac kissed Felicia when she got home. "How were Esme and Ace today?"
She shrugged. "Well, Ace is good. He was released from the hospital just before I left. But I'm very concerned about Esme."
"Did something happen?"
She nodded. "She was sleeping when I arrived. Then she started talking in her sleep and woke up sobbing. It was hard to make out exactly what she said. But it sounded like she wanted Ryan to stop and to tell her something."
"Stop what?" Mac asked.
"I don't know. But anyone with half a brain who spends even the tiniest bit of time with her can see that Ryan got into her head. She's clearly traumatized."
"That must be really hard to watch."
"And I don't know where to go from here," Felicia said. "She thinks I was just their health aide."
"Maybe keep getting Kevin's advice? Since he's in her close circle."
"Kevin has been great, but I'm not even sure Esme has a circle. I don't think she trusts anyone. Laura is kind to Esme, but she and Spencer were really only there for Ace. And she's terrified of Kevin. It's breaking my heart to see. My baby deserved so much better than this."
"Well, maybe she needs to know," Mac suggested. "Maybe you should tell her who you are."
"I want to. I just want to make sure it's the right time for her. But I'm worried about her and Ace living on their own. I don't agree with Spencer on everything, but maybe he's right that they should go back to Laura's. But I understand why Esme doesn't want to because Spencer seems controlling and she's afraid of Kevin. So, I don't know what the answer is."
Ring. Ring.
Felicia pulled out her phone and smiled. "It's Maxie! Maxie?"
"Hi Mom."
"How are you, sweetheart?"
"I'm okay," Maxie said.
"I'm sorry I upset you," Felicia said. "I think I broke it to you in the wrong way."
"I'm sorry Ryan did that to you. I should have said that the other day."
"Thank you. And it's okay, I know it was a shock for you."
"I just know that I don't want to lose you," Maxie said. "I do love you."
"I love you too, always. And you won't lose me."
"Which is why I want to warn you about Esme."
Felicia took a deep breath. "Maxie…."
"I don't trust her. I'm worried she's going to hurt you. You should stay away from her."
"I really appreciate your concern, sweetie. But I know what I'm doing."
Maxie sighed. "Okay. I don't want to talk about Esme anymore. But I do want you in my life and my kids' lives. I can't promise I won't get upset again, but I'm sorry for some of my harsh words."
"It's okay, honey. I'm just so glad to hear your voice."