Jennie

Monday afternoon, I was alone in the house for the first time since Lisa had come over for dinner. I didn't have to look out the window to know the crew was working next door—I could hear them.

I went into Nayeon's room to borrow a pair of shorts. I wasn't brave enough to take her skimpiest pair, but everything she owned was shorter, tighter, or lower-cut than anything in my closet. I picked some from Tommy Hilfiger and held them up to my waist in the mirror.

Nayeon'd been right the other night about Dad. The morning after their fight, Mom had made bagels and coffee, Dad read his Wall Street Journal, and Nayeon had waltzed into the kitchen like nothing'd happened. She'd even mentioned going out to look for jobs that day and he'd kissed her on the forehead on his way to work.

I put on the shorts. In a tank top and Converse, I grabbed my Young Cubs flyer before heading out the door. The first time I'd met Lisa, I didn't remember being nervous. Now, though, as I walked to the curb, I had butterflies in my stomach and sweat on my hairline.

There was lots going on, but I couldn't see Lisa. I walked through the dirt, passing under scaffolding into the house. A man in goggles glanced at me as I ducked into the frame of the house, but he didn't stop me.

I found Lisa toward the back, her profile to me, arms raised, a drill in her hands and a screw between her teeth. Goggles, a hardhat, and a red bandana around her mouth hid her face, but I would've known her anywhere.

She drilled into a wooden beam. Her navy shirt rode up, tan skin slivering over her waistband, bicep muscles bulging from the effort. I covered my stomach, unaccustomed to the violent way it flipped. Lisa lowered the drill to inspect her work.

"Hi."

She jerked her head to me and ripped the bandana off her face. "What are you doing in here?"

Shit. She looked not only unhappy to see me, but kind of pissed. Maybe I shouldn't've barged in like this—I mean, I could've just waited for her at the wall until her break. "I—"

"Don't ever walk onto a construction site without the proper protection." She tossed the drill onto a worktable, her boots pounding the concrete as she came to me. "It's dangerous."

"I—I'm sorry. I hadn't really thought about it."

"Why do you think we're wearing all this?" She punctuated her question by removing her hardhat and dropping it on my head. It was hot, sweaty, and heavy—and it was Lisa's. With a heavy hand on my shoulder, she pushed me out of the house, walking with me. Her warm, rough palm on my bare shoulder gave me that tightening feeling again, only it started lower this time, not in my stomach like before.

"Watch your step." She grumbled her words. "There are nails, and—just . . . watch where you're going."

I inhaled men's sweat and sawdust. Outside in the dirt again, she pulled the hat off my head and tossed it on the ground. I looked up at her as she removed her goggles. Her black hair stuck up everywhere. Despite the heat, she wore a dark, long-sleeved t-shirt with the construction company's logo printed across the pocket. A cigarette butt peeked out the top, and dust dirtied her collar.

"Is it time for your break?" I asked.

"I already took it," she said but led me over to the wall.

"How was your weekend?" I asked.

She leaned back against the brick and took out her pack. "You're not supposed to be over here."

It definitely wasn't the greeting I'd been hoping for. "I didn't know how else to get in contact with you."

She wiped her face with her shirt, flashing her flat, hard stomach. A tool belt weighed down her pants, and my heart nearly stopped. She dropped her shirt, but there was still dirt on her face. "Your sister, maybe?"

I swallowed, dumbstruck. "What?"

"She could've called me if you'd needed something."

But you're my friend, I wanted to say. "You're mad I came?"

She looked into her pack of cigarettes a while, and then set them on the wall. "Was everything all right at home?" she asked. "After I left?"

"It's fine." Sure, Dad had threatened to kick Nayeon out, but he didn't do it. I didn't want Lisa to feel worse than she probably already did because of that night. "I brought you something."

She looked over at me. "What is it?"

I pulled the flyer out of my back pocket, unfolded it, and gave it to her.

She used her sleeve to dry her temples. "'Young Cubs Sleepaway Camp,'" she read.

"It has all the info for being a counselor," I told her.

She scanned the page. "Except what it pays."

"Eleven dollars an hour."

"Eleven?" She sounded surprised. "That's high."

"The days are eight hours long, even though you're kind of working the whole time. Even at night."

"But you get to do stuff outdoors, right?"

"All that stuff I said, like canoeing and fishing and more. There's also campfires. You even sleep in the cabins with the kids." I was rambling, but I couldn't stop. "The cut off to apply was last week, but she said you should try anyway because she thinks they're understaffed."

"She?"

"The receptionist at the Y," I explained.

She peered at the flyer more closely. "YMCA puts it on? My sister and I used to go to our local Y after school."

By the way her stance and expression eased, I guessed that was a good thing. The problem was that camp started soon. I didn't know much about construction, but our new neighbors' house didn't look quite finished. "The next two weeks we have training and meetings for the counselors. Then we leave. It doesn't look like you'll be done in time."

She folded up the flyer. "Can I keep this?"

I nodded. "The first meeting's tomorrow night at six-thirty."

She picked up her pack and slid out a cigarette.

"You probably can't smoke there," I said. "At least not where anyone can see."

"I'll manage."

"So you'll come?"

She studied me a moment. "You want me to?"

I squinted at the house. A flock of birds formed a "V" above us. Did a cloud want to float aimlessly? Did a sky want to be blue? I didn't know. I couldn't control my want for her. It just was. "Yes," I said.

"How come?"

"I feel safe when you're around."

Her eyebrows lowered. "Is it dangerous up there?"

"No, not at all," I said quickly. "I mean, there might be bears."

The wrinkles between her eyes vanished. "You think I can protect you from bears?"

"I . . ." I couldn't tell if she was teasing me or not. If anyone could take on a bear, it'd be her. "No? Maybe?"

She laughed, a rare sound that made me relax.

"Why is that funny?" I asked. "You're as big as a bear."

"Maybe to you, Birdy."

I couldn't contain my smile, even if I wanted to. "The meeting's at six-thirty."

"You said that already."

"We could meet there ten minutes early, and I'll introduce you to the director. Or I was going to have my mom take me, but I could go with you instead?"

She leaned back against the wall and crossed her arms. "What do you think, Jennie, that I can just pick you up in my truck and take you somewhere?"

Yes. Yes! A thousand times yes. I had never wanted anything more. "Why not?"

She shook her head, looking away. "Have you talked to Nayeon about this?"

Like a wet blanket, the mention of her name dimmed my mood. I stuck my hands in the back pockets of my jean shorts. "Can I ask you something?"

"Probably shouldn't."

"Do you like her?"

She paused. "That's something I should discuss with her, don't you think?"

My throat felt dry. I didn't care. I wanted to know. "She discussed it with me."

She studied me. "Oh yeah?"

"I'm not going to tell you what she said."

"I didn't ask you to. I'll talk to her about it."

I sighed up at the sky. Nobody ever told me anything. "But it's not fair. You and I were friends first."

"Friends?" she repeated. "Do you think that's appropriate?"

I frowned. "I thought we were."

"Your sister and I are friends. You and I—yeah, we are, too. But you have to think about how that looks. When you introduce me to the director of the camp, maybe say I'm your sister's friend. You know?"

"No, I don't know," I lied, just to hear what she'd say. "How does it look for us to be friends?"

Lisa exhaled deeply. "I'm older and wiser. Just trust me."

Of course I understood why we had to keep our friendship to ourselves. It wasn't anything to be ashamed of, but not everybody would understand it. That meant that to other people, there was only thing linking us: Nayeon. "Are you going to ask Nayeon to go to camp?"

"Yes."

"But why?" I asked. "She thinks camp is for losers."

"Because it would be good for her. Think about it. She's not working right now, maybe a little aimless."

"A little?"

"Maybe she'll end up liking it."

I looked over my shoulder at the house, surprised nobody at home had thought of it. It was a good way for Nayeon to make some extra cash and get some space from Dad. But it meant I'd be giving up a week alone with Lisa. I turned back to her. "Is that really the reason you want her there? Or is it because it looks bad for you and me to be friends?"

Lisa took out a cigarette. "I have to go back to work. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Fine." Frustrated, I walked back along the curb toward my house. I'd have to trust her. She'd been good to me so far. She'd won me a pelican. She made eye contact with me. She didn't talk over me like a lot of people did. Whatever her reason was for wanting Nayeon there, I'm sure she was looking out for all of us.

When I reached the front door, I turned and looked back. Lisa still leaned against the wall, arms crossed, a lit cigarette hanging between her lips.

--

Nayeon parked her car with a sigh and stared out the windshield at the YMCA.

"You don't have to do this," I reminded her.

"Lisa asked me to."

"So you like her again?"

She looked over at me. "I never stopped."

"After dinner last week, you acted like you weren't sure about her."

"And yesterday I hated overalls, but this afternoon, I went to the mall and bought two pairs because I saw them on Heather Locklear. It's not a crime to change my mind."

Thankfully for her. Nayeon changed her mind about a lot of things, like outfits and friends. She'd do the same with Lisa, too.

I got out of the car and looked around the parking lot, half-expecting Lisa not to show. But there she was, leaning against the side of her truck, smoking. I waved, but it was dusk, and I couldn't tell if she'd seen us, so I started over toward her.

When I was close, she put her cigarette out on the ground. "You're late," she said.

She didn't talk much, but when she did, my heart dropped into my stomach. All the time, when we were apart, I thought about her deep, rumbling voice and wondered when I'd hear it again. "I told you six-twenty," I said. "It's six-nineteen."

"Your clock's slow."

"No it's not," I said. Actually, I didn't know who set the clocks in my house, but I'd always been on time for school. "Is it?" I asked. "Are we really late?"

She lifted one corner of her mouth.

When she smiled, I smiled. "Are you teasing me?" I asked.

Her expression changed when she looked behind me. "Hey, Nayeon."

"Hi." She brushed by me and opened her arms.

"What?" Lisa asked.

"I'm trying to hug you."

Lisa raised an eyebrow. "Do I look like a ten-year-old girl?"

"Please?"

With a sigh, she opened one arm. Nayeon snuggled into her side, wrapping herself around her torso.

My stomach soured like I'd eaten rotten seafood.

"I missed you," Nayeon said.

I turned away. If they were hugging, she might kiss her again—and I was certain I'd puke if she did. "We should go in," I said, walking off.

There was no time to introduce Lisa to the director before the meeting. Gary was already standing at the front of the small, crowded room, trying to get everyone to settle down. There was a podium in the center, but Gary never used it. I'd know him anywhere just by his thick, black curly hair that would've been down past his ears if it didn't grow straight out. A beach bum his whole life, he had a perpetual tan and bloodshot eyes, and he was the only person I knew who'd rather have a conversation with kids than adults.

There was only one pair of seats left, and the rest were singles. Fine. Let Nayeon and Lisa sit together. I took a seat near the front so I wouldn't have to see them hug.

"Welcome to the first Young Cubs counselor meeting," Gary said. He must've been at least thirty. He'd been running the program since I'd attended as a camper. "I'm happy to see familiar faces and some new ones."

Throughout the meeting, I refrained from looking back at Lisa. She probably thought all this was childish, bored out of her mind. Being a counselor was fun, though. Last year, I'd been in charge of one of the younger cabins, and the girls had been endless in their love and affection. They'd thought the world revolved around my co-counselor and me. There was no feeling quite like a group of little girls all arguing over who got to be the one to hold your hand.

The meeting lasted a half-hour and after, I found Lisa and Nayeon seated at the back of the room. "What'd you think?" I asked them.

"Outdoors for up to eight hours a day?" Nayeon asked. "Sounds awful. And dirty."

I shrugged. "Don't bring nice things, and you'll be fine. Lisa?"

She gave nothing away. "Let's find out if they have any openings first."

As if on cue, Gary wandered down the aisle between the seats, a big smile crinkling the corners of his eyes. "Well, well. Jennie Kim. We're lucky to have you for another year."

"Thanks. This is my sister and her friend." Lisa didn't even look at me as she stood. I'd done what she'd asked by introducing her as Nayeon's friend, and that was my reward—nothing. At least if I'd called her my friend, I would've gotten a warning glance.

They shook hands. "Gary, right?" Lisa asked. "Lisa Manoban."

"Nice to meet you, Lisa. You don't look like you're in high school."

"She's not," I said. "I was wondering if there were any paid counselor positions open for her."

"It's a little late for that. We've already done all the hiring." He twisted his lips. Gary was the kind of guy who liked to find solutions for everything. If he could help, he would. "We did discuss bringing on one more counselor due to a rise in campers this year."

"I'm interested," Lisa said. "I work construction, and we'll have a break for a few weeks during that time."

"Construction? Think you could help out with some projects around the campgrounds?"

"Absolutely," Lisa said.

"Great. Let me talk it over with the board and see if I can swing the budget. As for you—" He looked down at Nayeon. "I'm sorry. I didn't catch your name?"

"I'm Jennie's sister." She paused. "Nayeon."

"Hi, Nayeon. I'm almost certain I wouldn't be able to convince them of a second position. We've got plenty of female hires. I'm sorry."

Nayeon opened her mouth. I'd seen that look on her face before. Dad had taken her car away for a week her senior year because she'd snuck out in the middle of the night to go to a party. She'd gotten it back two days later. "But I really want to go," she said, glancing at Lisa. "And you just said you might need more help."

"We will." Gary smiled. "We'd love to have you as a volunteer."

Nayeon laughed nervously. "You mean for free?"

"For fun," Gary said, grinning some more. He turned back to Lisa. "We'll need some information from you guys. Background checks and things like that since you'll be around a bunch of kids."

"No problem," Lisa said.

"Good. Let me get your number, and if I can work it out, I'll give you a call."

Lisa followed Gary to the front of the room, and I sat next to Nayeon. "This is so dumb," she said, pouting. "I don't even want to go."

"You said you did."

"If Lisa's going, I want to. Obviously. A whole week away from Mom and Dad with her would be massive."

My entire plan dissolved before my eyes. "That's not really what camp is about," I told her. "Most of the time, you'll be so busy with kids, you won't have time for anything else. And like you said, it's dirty."

"They have showers, right?"

"Um, yeah. There are kids there. Personal hygiene is important."

"Well . . . I guess I don't really have any big plans that week." She flipped her hair over her shoulder and looked around the room. "I think I recognize some of these people."

"Almost all of them go to our high school," I said. "Some of them were in your class."

"Oh. What about hair dryers?"

"No."

"Makeup?"

"You'll just want to wear a lot of sunscreen."

"I didn't even think about that," she said. "I bet I'll get a killer tan being outside eight hours a day." She grabbed my hand. "Come on. Let's go tell that guy I'll do it."

I didn't have time to agree or protest. She pulled me up to the front. The year before, I'd asked Nayeon to come. She was fun, and I thought it might be good for her to be around kids. But now? All I could see was what I'd be missing. I wanted Nayeon to be happy, to find some direction. I just wished I could have Lisa to myself again, like I had when we'd first met.