Disclaimer: Don't own the og characters.

Traditionally man have always decided for us as women. They decided whether we were allowed to work or what we had to cook. They decided about our health care and education. As time changed so did our rights, but there is still this fundamental idea, that women can't make their own choices. That a woman needs a man to tell her what to do. That the man are the ones who chose our paths.

- Meredith Grey

Derek was sitting in some sort of basement, thinking about what Kathleen had said. Was she right? Maybe Meredith did really just want to have a say in her own life. And maybe Derek has been taking this right away from her. What kind of guy forces his wishes on his sick girlfriend? He's got to apologize.

"Hey," Derek said as he knocked on the open door. "Can we talk?"

"Sure," Meredith said putting the book she'd been reading to the side.

"I'm really sorry for not asking you, whether we'd want to stay at my mum's. I just assumed you'd be fine with it," he apologized.

"I'd say it's okay, but Derek it really isn't. This has happened so often. You always assume to know what I want instead of just asking me and it's gotten worse. Ever since the accident happened you have treated me like a child. And I know that I'm more vulnerable and need more help than before," Meredith said looking into his deep blue eyes, "but Derek, that is exactly why I at least need you to let me make my own decisions. I need a lot of support physically and now it seems that I need it emotionally too. But I'm still completely capable of thinking for myself. So please, promise me to ask me next time before you decide these kinds of things for us."

"I promise," he answered.

Half an hour later Meredith's psychiatrist came into the room.

"Meredith, would it be okay if Dr. Härtl performed a short exam on you? I'll be here the entire time. If it becomes too much and you want him to stop you can just say so, anytime. Okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, I think so," Meredith said signaling Derek to get out of the crampy hospital bed.

When Dr. Härtl entered you could see the dread in Meredith face.

Derek saw that the exam was hard on Meredith, but it was better than the time before. Having Dr. Harrison there apparently helped but it was still not a pleasant experience. Dr. Härtl could never touch her for more than a few seconds without Meredith interrupting. But Derek was glad she did and did not just hide her feeling.

"Okay, I'm now through with the unpleasant part. Could you please try to wiggle your toes for me?" As Meredith did as she was told and her feed actually moved, she looked at Derek happily. It was just such a great feeling to regain control.

"You'll be released tomorrow, but before that I'd like to get a last set of scans. The day after that you'll start your pt sessions and in one week I'd like to see you for a follow up exam," Dr. Härtl told Meredith and she nodded.

"We've talked about it, but I'll just say it again. For now, I want to see you at least once every three days. In addition to that, I'll be there, whenever you come to see Dr. Härtl. If you have any problems just call and I'll try to find some time. I will most likely also prescribe you some anxiety medication, but before I do that, I'd like to see how things develop once you have left this hospital, is that okay?" the psychiatrist asked.

"Yes, thank you, Dr. Harrison," Meredith responded as she didn't know what else to say.

"Can someone please hand me the drill?"

"Here you go sir."

I lay there, I was screaming, but no one seemed to notice. I tried to move but I couldn't. People looked at me so unsure of what to do next.

"What am I supposed to do with the drill, I guess I'll just place it here. But is that right I could also drill here or maybe there. Meredith what should I do?"

I could not answer.

"What should we do Meredith? What should we do? What should we do?"

I screamed but again no sound was produced by my vocal cords.

"We don't know what to do! What should we do?"

When Meredith finally woke up, she was drenched in her own sweat. Derek had left for the night after she had insisted for hours that he'd leave to visit his mother. Although she would have liked to have him there, in that moment, Meredith was glad he wasn't. Shortly after she had woken up a nurse came running in, probably because she had heard the screams. She helped Meredith into a new gown, since her old one was completely sweaty and changed the bed sheets, which were also wet. Then she paged Dr. Harrison, who luckily for Meredith was on-call. When the nurse was about to leave Meredith requested her to please not tell Derek about this, under no circumstances.

Dr. Harrison made Meredith talk about what happened, but she accepted, that she couldn't talk about everything just yet and she didn't want to stress her during the night or trigger another night terror. Finally, Dr. Harrison gave Meredith something to calm her down, so that she would be able to sleep through the rest of the night.

AN

Here is a new chapter. I haven't started the next one yet, since home schooling really stresses me out right now.

I really appreciate everyone who is actively supporting this story by adding it to their favourits and reviewing. It really means a lot to me.