Disclaimer: Don't own the og characters. Not a native speaker, so don't hesitated to correct me.

Author Note: Sorry about any inconsistencies (please point them out if you see any) I've been working on this story for so long that I might have forgotten one our the other detail.

Listening, according to the oxford dictionary means: "To pay attention to somebody or something that you can hear". That is more than physically hearing what someone is saying. To actually be listening to someone, you have to try to understand what they mean instead of interpreting their words the way that suits you best. Sadly a lot of people have yet to understand that.

- Meredith Grey

Meredith wakes up to the smell of freshly cooked breakfast and although most people would be happy about this, she isn't. Because the feeling in her legs still hasn't returned yet and Derek cooking breakfast means it's his day off which means she won't be able to postpone talking to him any longer.

When she get's downstairs, Derek greets her with a bright "Hey, good morning!" and places a kiss on her forehead. Then he asks caringly: "Are you still not able to really feel your legs?". When Meredith just looks down into her lap instead of answering, he decides to reopen their conversation, "I know that you're scared of surgery, but this episode has been lasting for so long, that I'm scared that it might cause lasting damage."

"I'm fine, really. I'm pretty sure I'll be able to walk again by tonight, some of the feeling has already returned." Meredith fibs.

"You know as well as I do that this probably won't be over this fast. Please let us at least do new scans, that doesn't mean that you'll have to have surgery."

"No…" Meredith started, but right in that moment a searing pain ripped through her back and she bend over.

"That's it. This is no longer a conversation I'm having. I'm taking you to the hospital right now!" Derek said leaving no room for discussion.

Seeing as Meredith was still bend over in pain, he picked her up from her wheelchair and carried her over to the car. He then went back in to get her a pillow, in the hope that it would provide her a tiny bit of comfort, before driving of to the hospital.

When they arrive Derek considers getting her chair out of the trunk, where he had placed it right before they left, but decides against it and instead carries her inside. He is pretty sure that she'd hate this but he wants to get her inside and laying down as fast as possible. That Meredith isn't even protesting only makes his concern grow lager.

After placing her on a stretcher he has a resident administer an epidural and book a CT. He is mad at himself for forgetting to take her back brace with them, because stabilizing her spine has in the past helped to relieve at least a little bit of her pain.

When Meredith's test results came back they e-mailed them right to Dr. Härtl. So now they're just waiting to hear back from him. Obviously Derek would be able to assess the scans as well, but one thing that has become very clear to Meredith and Derek is that he can't be both her husband and her doctor and since the first one of those is supposed to be till death do them part, they'll have to wait for the consult of another doctor, as any other patient would have to do too. In the meantime, Meredith insisted that Derek would get her wheelchair from the car so that she could at least go to the bathroom on her own.

"Hi Meredith, hi Derek, I've just finished analyzing your scans, but let us first talk about your symptoms please."

"She's been…" Derek starts, only to be interrupted harshly by Meredith. "I know that these days you sometimes think that I'm not able to do anything on my own anymore, but I can still speak for myself."

She focuses and then continues: "I'm sorry Dr. Härtl. As you know after the surgery I pretty much completely recovered, except for a few episodes of paralysis which always came with a low to moderate level of pain. Recently these have been becoming more frequent, longer in length and more painful, with the current one being the longest and honestly also the most painful one I have had to experience."

"When did this one start?"

"I haven't really had any feeling in my legs for three days now." Meredith says, guiltily looking away from Derek, who in turn says: "What?! This morning you said that you'd regained some feeling, you need to be honest to me about these things."

"Why? So that you are even more willing to push me into having surgery?"

"No, so that I know how my wife is feeling."

"Oh as if you'd cared about that so much in the past, when you decided that we'd be staying with your mother, without talking to me first or when you prevented me from doing the few things that I was still able to do after my surgery by 'helping' me, again without asking me about it. Maybe, Derek, you're sometimes to focused on being my 'night in shining whatever' to listen to what I actually need." Meredith yells.

Derek is speechless, they have discussed this matter before but this is the first time that he really understands what she is saying and that is embarrassing as specially because they are yelling at each other in front of one of his colleagues, who takes this moment of silence to get back to the matter they had been discussing.

"Okay, I'm very sorry to interrupt this, but we have to carry on." Dr. Härtl's voice is sounding from the tablet. "As you can see here," he says while showing a spot on the CT of Meredith's spine, "a few of the screws and plates have become loose. Meredith I'm sorry but on this matter I have to agree with Derek. If you're not having surgery, you will damage your spinal cord in a way that will leave you permanently paralyzed and probably in a lot of pain for most of the time."

"No, I can't do this. I, I just can't." Meredith says, leaving the room.

AN

I was almost convinced that I wouldn't continue this story, but yesterday, after three years, covid finally got me too (luckily I barley have any symptoms (for now))

The people who have been following this story for a while now have probably noticed that I've thought, more than a few times, that I wouldn't update again. Should I rep this story up to make sure that it's got a proper ending or just keep going?

Oh and what do you think about the "voice-overs" at the beginning of the chapters? I personally often skip them when reading stories and don't think that this story benefits that much from them. On the other hand they've been in this story for the past 18 chapters so it would be a bit weird to stop them now.

Don't forget to mark it as a favourite, follow and especially review :)