TFP: Youngling

Ch.3~ Missing Ja and Prower

I sat on the medical berth watching Ratchet as he worked at the console, something about him looked familiar. Tilting my helm, I stared particularly at his faceplate. I know what he's reminding me of, Ja used to stare at space with the same blank expression and blandness in his optics that still looked focused. What was in space that required the same attention one gave a monitor screen?

Scratching my chinplate, I started to swing my pedes over the edge of the berth. Pouting I rubbed my helm in frustration I tried to move on from my jumbled memory files. I don't need to think about those things I should be paying attention to the here and now.

Here I have Ratchet, Optimus and Bee who always care for me, Ja's gone. My pout turned to a full frown as I tried to rid my processor of my last image file of Ja. His eerie look of peace but still sadness was enough to make my processor glitch and give me night terrors. Why can't I ever focus on the moments like Sunny and Sides pranks? Or playing with Replay?

"Star is something the matter?" Ratchet asked, looking at me worriedly.

"Ja," I muttered, he looked at me sadly before pulling me into a hug.

"I know, it'll all be alright now Star." he hushed as I gripped onto his chassis sobbing loudly.

(Ratchet's POV)

Star liked to stay close to me, so I decided to teach her some things, she has taken quite an interest in medical treatments. Maybe when she is a bit older I will take her on as an apprentice. For now, she needs to focus on sorting through her memory files, to unscramble them and understand them.

I have no doubt this will make her quite a mature youngling, so far she has been very mature for her age. She takes care to not be a nuisance, asking for very little. Only when she plays with Bumblebee and the children does she really show her true age. I normally would find this great but it felt wrong to me, that someone as young as her could rarely act her age.

"What's the matter old friend you seem deep in thought?" Orion asked I looked up at him surprised.

"I didn't know you got back," I replied, he looked at me questioning me. "It was nothing, I was just a bit lost in thought."

"Where is Stargazer?" he said.

"She's with Bumblebee in the training room, he wanted to show her a bit of dodging maneuvers," I stated.

"And the others?"

"Bulkhead and Miko went out, and Jack had work tonight so Arcee is waiting for him there."

"How is Stargazer?"

"She's doing great considering everything, she slowly trying to unscramble her memory files."

'Ratchet.' Bee called, I turned to see him carrying Star who was crying holding her knee joint. 'She fell and dented her kneeplating.'

"Come here so I can fix that," I said, picking up Stargazer and setting her on the med berth. "Take your servo off so I can make it better."

'I have to go get Raf from school now.' Bee stated, I heard him transform and drive off.

"I promise it'll feel better once I fix it now move your servo." I hushed, slowly she moved her servo off her knee joint to reveal a fairly large dent over her knee joint. "Alright now it'll hurt a bit when I pop it out but once I'm done it won't hurt anymore."

She nodded wiping her tears away with her palm plating, reaching to the dent I popped it out quickly. Looking up I saw Star touch the spot where the dent had been before looking to me smiling. Smiling back she shot forward and hugged me and I slowly hugged her back.

"Thank you Rache." she thanked letting go I kissed her helm.

"Be more careful next time." I lectured, she nodded.

"I promise." she replied, Optimus rubbed her helm.

Rubbing her backstruts I noticed two nubs in her plating, looking at her back I saw what appeared to be connectors for doorwings. Looking at her faceplate I saw how confused she was.

"Star did you have doorwings?" I asked she took a moment then nodded.

"Aid took them off." she answered, "they hurted me."

"Your doorwings had hurt you?" I replied she nodded again.

"Uhuh if I moved them they hurted or when Ja touched them so Aid took them off. I couldn't sit or crawl for a long time it wasn't fun at all," she explained, frowning I scooped her up holding her close. The poor thing...

(Flashback Jazz's POV)

The bond between a Carrier and their creation is strong, I've always known this to be true. Now holding my sleeping sparkling close to my chassis rubbing her helm just above her wing nubs, I finally knew first-hand. I held her close trying to forget that tomorrow her small wing were being removed due to a problem in the nerves controlling them. Looking down at my creation I saw her peaceful sleeping face and smiled softly one tear falling down my cheek.

Prowl, please tell me you're watching over us right now because our daughter will need you tomorrow. Aid's gonna do everything to minimize her pain but I know even if the physical pain is lessened she'll still be so confused. She'll have to relearn to sit up and crawl, which will undoubtedly frustrate her.

Especially since she'll see her best friend Replay sitting up and crawling but be unable to do the same. Although I know Replay will try and help her and be as patient as he can, encouraging her in his own way. Still, she likes to move around and play with Replay now she won't be able to play with him like she normal does.

She let out a click of pain as I grazed the oversensitive wings; even my most gentle touches caused her pain. After so many painful baths I'm glad that I won't be hurting her anymore but still, I wish there were another way. Primus Prowl, look after her, make sure she's okay while Aid works on her. If she dies I'll join you both in the matrix so please Prowl make sure she doesn't pass on to the Well where you are, and Prowl, I love you.

(End Flashback Stargazer's POV)

"Star this isn't such a good idea," Jack warned as I hung from the steel banisters looked down at them grinning.

"Don't worry about me this is in my coding," I assured pulling myself up to latch my pedes onto the beams.

"Ratchet isn't going to like this," Raf stated as I began to crawl across the ceiling trying to touch the vent.

"Come on you two this is epic; you can do it Star, touch the vent and I'll bring The Little Mermaid tomorrow." Miko cheered, my servos slipped and I fell screaming as I did but my pedes were stuck in place.

"Rache!" I cried in terror as I looked down at the ground in fear.

"What's the ma.. scrap how did you get up there!?" he yelled I tried to turn to see him but that only freed my pedes and plummeted down screaming the whole way.

I felt something catch me, I onlined my optics that I couldn't remember offlining and looked up at Ratchet's worried faceplate. Whimpering I grabbed onto his chestplates as he pulled me close scanning me.

"I told her not to," Jack affirmed, Ratchet glared down at me.

"What were you thinking?" he questioned, I avoided his optics ashamed of myself.

"I talked her into it," Miko admitted, Ratchet turned his glare to the human girl. "I know it was stupid of me and I'm sorry..."

"Miko do you understand how dangerous that was, she is only a child." Ratchet lectured, I looked at Miko who nodded hanging her head in shame.

"Sorry Ratchet." she apologized, Ratchet vented heavily looking away from Miko angrily, muttering incoherently.

"Sorry Rache," I added, he vented again looking me straight in the optics.

"Never do anything that dangerous again," he ordered, I nodded his only immediate response was to pull me closer to his chassis. "Optimus will deal with punishments once he returns from his patrol."

"Okay," Miko muttered.

(Optimus's POV)

I felt an air of tension as I walked into the base, Miko looked at me with a look of pure sadness. Odd, she is usually questioning me about my mission by now. She appears to be sulking, Stargazer ran over and latched onto my pedes seeming upset as well. What had happened to make this usually bubbly duo so upset?

"Ah, you're back. Miko explain to Optimus about your good idea." Ratchet lectured, what had Miko done this time to earn Ratchet's ire?

"I kinda talked Star into climbing up to the ceiling and crawling along the beams to touch a vent," she explained apologetically. "I'm really sorry, I wasn't really thinking."

"I'm sorry too," Stargazer added, I rubbed her helm before giving Miko a slightly stern gaze.

"Miko that was very immature thing for you to suggest, even though Stargazer is larger than you are she is still a child and looks up to you. You have to be a better role model and keep her out of harm's way. As her elder, you should teach her more mature lessons, and I expect you to act accordingly from now on." I lectured, she nodded clearly ashamed.

"I know, and I won't let it happen again," Miko said I nodded.

"As punishment Miko tomorrow you shall clean up the human platform," I ordered, she nodded.

"Yes Optimus." she affirmed, I heard Bulkhead drive into the base.

"Time to head home Miko!" Bulkhead called, she collected her things and ran to Bulkhead.

"Bye Miko." Stargazer murmured, Miko waved to the small femme before her and Bulkhead drove out of the base.

"Anything else happened while I was out, old friend?" I asked he smirked faintly.

"No that was most of the excitement today," he answered, turning to me he shook his helm. "Although I think that was for the best. Now I think it's time for you to go into recharge Stargazer."

"I can put her to bed old friend." I proposed, he nodded.

"Night Rache." Stargazer chimed racing over to hug Ratchet's pedes.

Kneeling down he hugged the small femme close, he placed a small kiss on her helm before pulling back and rubbing her helm. She giggled at his affectionate gestures, he smiled at her fondly nudging her back to me. Hesitating a moment, she ran to my side quickly reaching up to grasp my servo.

Leading her toward her berth room I glanced down to see her looking back toward Ratchet. Smiling I gave her servo an encouraging squeeze, she looked up at me looking a bit lost. Opening her berth room door, I stepped in with her following after me, scooping her up I laid her down on her berth. She curled up a bit on the berth looking at me still seeming lost.

"What is the matter Stargazer?" I asked she vented pouting as she curled onto her berth.

"I don't like sleeping alone, I feel safer with Rache." she answered, I reached over to rub her helm.

"How about I tell you a story?"

"Yes please."

She squirmed down on the berth giving me room to sit, taking a seat I pulled her back up so her helm was resting on my lap. Rubbing her helm, I tried to think of a decent tale to tell her. A war story was definitely out of the question this late in the cycle, perhaps a story of Ratchet before the war would calm her.

"Once there had been a very smart doctor who ran a large hospital on Cybertron. Every cycle he cared for the weak, the hurt and the sick. This doctor was very kind, but he was quite hotheaded. His patients respected him but they also feared to anger him. One cycle one of his youngest patients took a turn for the worse, not knowing what was making his patient sick he rushed to the Iacon Hall of Records. There he met a young archivist that he had met a few times before who helped him find out what was wrong with his patient. While working together the young archivist fell in love with the older doctor, when the doctor left to return to his hospital the archivist found himself going to visit the doctor at his hospital every cycle. As the cycles passed by the archivist fell deeper in love with the doctor who he had become good friends with. The archivist tried to confess to the doctor but failed each time to tell the doctor. Finally, one cycle he confessed to the doctor who had been shocked at his friend's confession."

"Did they stay together?"

"Yes, they did. One stellar cycle after the archivist confessed he and the doctor bonded, they have been bonded ever since and even as the war started and they became a soldier and a medic they stayed in love with one another."

"How come the archivist fell in love with the doctor?"

"The doctor was loving, very generous, and in the optics of the archivist beautiful. The archivist loved the doctor's sense of humor and admired his dedication to his patients. Even though the doctor was hotheaded and worked himself far too hard the archivist loved him. Everything the doctor did made the archivist smile and he could not image a single cycle without seeing the doctor's faceplate."

Looking down I saw that Stargazer was fighting recharge and quite clearly losing as her visor dimmed. She murmured something I couldn't quite hear as she drifted off in my lap. I couldn't help a smile grace my faceplate as she finally fell into recharge, carefully I settled her onto the berth and got up. Taking a final look at her sleeping form I left her berthroom shutting the door behind myself and headed back to the main room.

"Did she power down easily?" Ratchet asked, stood behind him placing my servo on his shoulderplates kissing the top of his helm.

"Yes she did, after a short story," I answered I could tell he flustered as his typing stalled as I rubbed his shoulderplates. "I love you."

"I love you too; Primus you're a sentimental glitch." he muttered embarrassed as usual.

"I may be that but I cannot help it being so deeply in love with you."

"The others are going to come back any click so do not get any ideas."

"I was thinking no such thing, I just hoped to have your company."

"Do you not always have my company?"

"I may but I am always happy to be in your company old friend."

"Fragging glitch."

(Dream Stargazer's POV)

I saw before me Carrier crouched down with his servos outstretched as if calling me into his embrace. Not hesitating a second longer I ran to embrace him, he held me close for a moment then I felt a wet warmth from Carrier. Pulling back, I saw energon leaking from a cavernous hole in his chassis.

"Carrier no!" I screamed, looking up I saw his flickering golden optics looking down at me with pity.

"Stay here with me sweetspark." he hushed, I shook my helm stepping back.

"No.. I can't stay here… I don't want to watch you die again..." I sobbed, I felt him grab my shoulderplate roughly.

"I swore I'd be with ya forever, I swore to Prowler I would stay with ya, and I will." he stated, I began to shake as he began to look more deathly.

"Go be with Sire, you can be happy now, I'll be okay Carrier. I found Rache, remember you told me he would look after me, and he is. It's alright, I'll be okay."

"No that will never be enough, I'm yer Carrier, I bore ya inside me. No one can replace what we are."

"And no one ever will, but Carrier I can't stay here with you, even though I want to. Rache will look after me, don't worry I'll be okay. I love you, Carrier."

"No!"

I felt Carrier pull me close and I felt the energon from his injury cover my frame making me want to purge. Yet oddly I still felt comfort from his gentle hold. I guess this was where I had always belonged, looking up I saw a Sire looking down at us smiling with half of his helm gone and his once proud wings sagged in a deathly way.

"We're going to be a family sweet spark." Sire hushed, I shook my helm in horror.

"No... How can I stay here... You're both dead! I'm still alive, aren't I!? How can I live with you when I'm the only one still alive!?" I yelled in horror.

(End Dream)

I woke with a start backing into the corner of the berth that was also in the corner of the room. My optics were still wide in horror and I could still feel a ghostly feeling of my Carrier's energon over my frame. Before me was Ratchet who was looking at me in concern, reaching over he rubbed my helm.

"Another nightmare?" he asked, I nodded and ran into his servos, clinging to his chassis. "It's alright Stargazer, I'm right here with you."

"I can feel Carrier energon all over me! I don't wanna see him like that anymore! He and Sire are in peace aren't they, why do they haunt me?!" I cried, he rubbed my backstruts.

"I assure you those two are at peace, and they would never ever haunt you. All they would ever want for you is for you to be happy. It's just a nightmare sweetspark." he soothed, I nodded into his chassis.

"Can I stay with you Rache, I don't want to be alone?" I asked he nodded picking me up.

"Of course, whenever you're scared you can always come to me." he answered, I nodded into his chassis.

"I miss them Rache..." I muttered.

"I know.. I know... Don't worry I'll be here for you." he murmured, I nodded drifting off in his comforting hold.