TFP: Youngling
Ch.4~ Purpose
I found myself unable to leave her alone once she fell into recharge, so I had brought her back to my own rooms for the rest of the night. Even when I awoke early the next morning I could not bare to leave her alone, so I cradle her with one servo and went to work at my station.
She fit perfectly on the crook of my forearm plating and had rearranged herself to cling to me in her sleep. She looked so peaceful even though I knew that at any moment she could awaken from another terror.
"Good morning old friend, how was the night while I was on patrol?" Optimus asked I turned to him in surprise I hadn't even noticed him pull into the base. "Did she have a nightmare?"
"Yes, I went in to check on her when I finished my work last night and found her shaking in her recharge. I haven't had the spark to leave her alone since." I admitted, he reached down to rub her helm and kissed my own.
"She is quite lucky to have you to watch over her old friend." he stated.
"I do my best.. she is used to Jazz, and I can only imagine how doting he was to her... I feel sorry for the bratlet, he could have gotten such a good life.. he deserved that.. all of them did." I mused, Optimus lifted my chin up looking me in the optics fondly.
"We will end this war," he assured, I nodded as he kissed me softly. "If I know Jazz he would only want a bright future for his creation and the mech who raised him and so many others like him."
"I know Orion.. you better go get some sleep before your patrols later." I soothed, he nodded kissing my cheekplate.
"Have a good cycle old friend."
I watched as Optimus trotted off to recharge, his movement still very graceful but his pedefalls were definitely heavier. Smiling I turned back to my work only to feel a definite shift from the small form in my arms. Looking down at her I saw her visor light up and she looked up at me smiling tiredly.
"Good morning Stargazer." I greeted, she sat on my servo gripping onto my shoulderplates for balance.
"Morning Rache, you working?" she asked looking up at me with an innocent smile.
"Yes, I am little one."
"Sorry about last night.. didn't mean to bother you."
"It's not a bother bitlet, you can always come to me with these things."
"Are you sure?"
"Of course I am, did you have any more nightmares?"
"No, I didn't, you scared them all away."
"That's good."
"Did you mean what you said last night, they aren't haunting are they?"
"Of course not, those two loved you so much they would never do anything like that."
"Okay.. Rache is it okay that I miss 'em.. it's okay that I want them back.. even though they're together again..."
"Of course it's alright."
She gripped onto my armor silently crying out her woes, forgetting my work I cradled her close. Rubbing her helm soothingly I listened as he sobs became louder and her fame trembles with the force of her sobs. Her small frame shook almost violently as she clung to my frame and sobbed.
"Ja... Prower..." she sobbed, I kissed her helm as I rocked her gently.
"It's alright sweetspark, you're not alone, I've got you." I hushed.
(Bumblebee's POV)
Stargazer had been abnormally silent today, sure she still happily chatted with Raf and the others but she seemed more reserved. When I came back from driving Raf home she had led me into the training room where we now stood.
'What's the matter Stargazer?' I asked, she held my servo tighter.
"Bee you knew Ja didn't you?" she muttered.
'Yep, I used to be a spy for him before I became a warrior. Why the sudden interest?'
"Do you think Ja would be happy for me?"
'Of course, he would, although I bet he'd wish for something even better for you.'
"Would he be proud if I became a great spy like him or a great tactician like Prower, would he be proud of me if I became a strong warrior?"
'He would be proud of you no matter what you did. Although I think he'd hope you wouldn't have to fight.'
"Can you teach me how to fight? I wanna be strong like my creators."
'Sure I can teach you a bit, but until you're older it just is for self-defence.'
"I know."
'Let's get started then, show me your stance.'
(Stargazer's POV)
Awaking I placed a servo over my spark as I looked around myself hurriedly. All I could hear was an alarm blaring in my audios. I covered my audio's screaming as I jumped from my berth and out into the corridor. Running down the hall I let out a shrill squeal as a shadow stepped in front of me.
"Calm down little one." Optimus hushed, rubbing my helm soothingly. The alarm stopped but my receptor's still rung.
"I saw stuff blowing up around me and I heard shooting the alarm was blaring and I ran from my room," I explained, clinging to him for safety.
"Calm down Stargazer..." he soothed.
"I heard a scream what's going on?" Ratchet asked.
"So did we," Arcee said I turned to see Bulkhead and Bumblebee behind her.
"It's fine I believe Stargazer had a bad dream," Optimus stated, Arcee looked at me in tired concern before venting.
"I'm going back into recharge then." she replied, I waved her off meekly.
"Me too night Star, if you need me you know where to find me." Bulk added, I nodded and waved at him as he left.
'Don't worry Star dreams are just dreams, night.' Bee soothed, before heading back to his room.
"What was your dream about?" Ratchet asked kneeling in front of me.
"I was in a room with the other sparkling and then we heard loud explosions and the alarm blaring. Outside I saw these purple guys shooting everyone, then they came in and began to shoot us. Ja came in and saved me after getting rid of the purple guys, he ran me toward a pod. Closing it I saw him fall energon coming out his chest then I saw this clawed servo and red optics..." I explained, sobbing slightly.
"Hush Stargazer, you are safe." Optimus soothed.
"I don't wanna be alone again!" I cried, Ratchet scooped me up resting my helm over his spark I felt Optimus rub my helm.
"Don't cry Stargazer we are here, you're safe." Ratchet hushed, I felt my optics close as I listened to Ratchet's spark.
(Ratchet's POV)
I laid Stargazer now fully in recharge onto my berth, sitting at the edge. I offered Optimus a seat next to me. He sat next to me, as I turned to check on her. I saw her slow intakes and still form. Good, she was still in recharge, for now.
"Optimus, I believe these could be memories, we both knew her ship had been attacked," I stated.
"That event will scar her memories for a long time, won't it?" he replied, I vented.
"Yes, I doubt she will ever forget what happened, she knows they are memories but she is still scared that this event will happen again. She will most likely have nightmares like this often, looks like I won't be getting a full cycle of recharge anytime soon..."
"Can we not do anything to help?"
"Make her feel safe and secure, that will help ease her fears."
"The poor thing, I hate to see someone so young like her be so scared and to be drawn into this war. Too many die so young now, my spark aches for every single one."
"We both know with war these things are inevitable, the best we can do is try to give her as close to a normal life as we can. Sadly, that seems so hard, look at Bumblebee."
"Yes, our poor scout is a perfect example, he is luckier but yet unluckier than most."
"How long has it been?"
"Far too long... Do you wish for me to stay with you both tonight?"
"Yes."
Picking up Stargazer I laid down onto the berth scooting back to let Orion crawl in next to me. He pulled me into his chassis, and I nuzzled into his neck cables as Stargazer lay nestled between us cuddled up to my spark. Closing my optics, I shuttered as Orion rubbed a particularly sensitive part of my back struts.
"What are you doing Orion?" I questioned.
"Helping you relax." he answered innocently.
"Well stop before I decided to show you that I can still kick your aft..." I muttered, he chuckled stopping his ministrations and simply holding me close.
"I love you Starwatcher." he confessed.
"I love you too Orion," I admitted, offlining my optics I left recharge finally claim me.
(Optimus's POV)
I found myself unable to fall into recharge with my bond-mate and his charge. Maybe it was my concern that the small femme would wake again from her recharge. Or maybe I just wanted to gaze at the peaceful expression the two had when they slept.
Stargazer murmured in her recharge and tried to bury herself more into Ratchet's chassis. Who in turn pulled the small femme closer to himself, this made me smile fondly. Leaning over I kissed his helm and pulled the two closer.
"Hush now my Stars, my galaxy, recharge peacefully my bright sparks." I soothed.
(Stargazer's POV)
"Rache, can I ask you something?" I queried from my seat on his med berth.
"Of course, what is it?" he said.
"I know you told me that they're not haunting me, but I want to know why. Why were they taken? Why did they die for me? Was I worth it? Rache would they still be alive if I wasn't born?" I asked I felt my tears roll down my cheekplates.
"Stargazer..." Ratchet started but when he looked at me he paused before walking over to scoop me up. "Sweetspark, let me tell you something about your creators. They both wanted nothing more than a creation when they found about you, they had never been more happy. Your Carrier never stopped smiling and your Sire began to smile more. Creators love their creation and would do anything for them."
"It hurts so much Rache, all I want is my creators.. but I'll never see them again. It's unfair! I hate this war!"
"I know, so do I. Hating it won't make it go away, I've tried. How about this Star, I'll teach you how to be a medic so you can help people. Would you like to be able to help people?"
"Uhuh, I wanna help everyone.. I don't want to be useless."
"You're not useless, you are hope, and hope is never useless."