I'm sorry, I've had no internet at home for the past 6 weeks! It nearly killed me, I can tell you! I tried posting from my phone but that all went horribly wrong :( So anyway, here's the next chapter. It's unbeta'd - I'm still looking for a new beta if anyone is interested :) - and so possibly a bit sketchy in parts, but I hope you enjoy it anyway.

Chapter Fifteen: I Never know If I'm Right Or Wrong.

The weekend had dragged by unbearably slowly for Rachel. Not that she wasn't used to spending much of her free time alone, but after the thrill and excitement of last weekend this one had just felt incredibly lonely.

It had been harder to fill her time than it usually was and she'd needed to fill it more than ever, to keep her mind busy and away from things it would do her no good to dwell on.

She'd had no concentration for homework, which resulted in three separate versions of her History essay, none of which she felt correctly answered the question set. She'd read through to the end of The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. Although in hindsight that might have been better left to distract her from Quinn in class.

She'd doubled the lengths of her daily workouts until her lungs ached and her thighs begged for mercy.

She'd made two videos for MySpace, uploading one Friday night and the other on Sunday but she hadn't bothered checking back for comments on either of them – because what if there was one? And by the same reasoning she had stayed away from Facebook altogether. It wasn't as if her mood would be improved by living her social life vicariously through her Glee-mates status updates right now.

The rest of the weekend had been spent listlessly on the couch in the family room. Her thumb bouncing restlessly on the TV remote, changing the channel at random. Trying her best to forget that Quinn had been right there by her side just a week ago.

Now it was Monday morning and it was here too soon and why couldn't her lifeless weekend have just dragged on for eternity?

Squaring her shoulders, Rachel entered the school and made her way with a purposefulness she didn't feel through the chaotic corridors to her locker.

Finn was leaning there, waiting for her.

She instantly felt a little better. They'd had a very pleasant conversation on Friday following the performance of Keep Holding On and re-capturing her friendship with her leading man might be the only bright spark she had left to hold on to now and so she skipped the final distance to reach him with a beaming smile.

"Good morning, Finn. How was your weekend? I hope it was every bit as restful as mine. I feel quite energized and ready to tackle this week's Glee club assignment with gusto." She beamed even harder. "Perhaps we could work on it together, depending on the nature of it, of course."

"Wouldn't you rather work with Quinn?"

Her bubbly enthusiasm dropped at the tone of his question. "W-why would you think that?"

"Why do you think? I read your interview, Rachel. I can't believe you lied to me about it or that you'd do that to Quinn! I almost broke up with her because I thought she'd cheated on me when it was you all along."

Oh boy. Stupidly she had neglected to plan for this and now that she was trying to think her way through it fast her brain was filling up with all the other things she had been deliberately not thinking about all weekend too – like how everyone once again thought it was she who had pounced on Quinn in the bathroom and naturally following that was the memory of how neither of them could pounce on the other anymore.

"I'm sorry, Finn. I truly didn't mean to hurt you with my actions."

"Just Quinn?"

"Exactly . . . No! I mean . . . I didn't really think about the consequences, I was scared and . . . and reacted in a way I'm not proud of." From the look on his face it wasn't enough. "I came clean in the end, doesn't that count for anything?"

"Only when you didn't have a choice."

"That's not . . ." True? It wasn't, but she had done an excellent job of making it look like it was. To deny it vehemently now would only confuse the matter even further. "Look," she checked her watch, "we have ten minutes before class, would you like to go somewhere private and talk about it in detail?"

"You want to tell me in detail how you kissed my girlfriend? No thanks. I don't want to talk to you at all right now."

Slamming his palm into her locker door so hard she was surprised he didn't leave a Hulk-sized handprint in the metal, he stormed off, leaving her to slump against them in his place. So much for picking up their friendship where they'd left it. The only upside was a lessening of the guilt she'd been carrying around with her for so long. Finn knew the worst, or the worst he could ever be allowed to know anyway, and somehow that served to alleviate a large amount of her culpability in deceiving him.

It was an extremely thin silver-lining though.

Squaring her shoulders again, because Finn's anger was something she was just going to have to accept for now, she opened her locker and the waterworks that she had resolutely refused to give in to all weekend sprang forth like someone had turned her inner-faucets on full.

Grumpy Bear was waiting for her; a folded note propped up on his legs.

The outside of the note read: Free To A Good Gnome. Which made her laugh even as hot tears were coursing down her cheeks.

Leaning into her locker, she unfolded the note.

I figured you might need this little guy more than me right now. Finn's on the warpath about you trying to kiss me. I wanted to warn you earlier but you weren't on Facebook all weekend :(. Just avoid him if you can until I've managed to calm him down. I hope you're okay.

xx

PS. I've been sleeping with him all week so I'm sorry if he smells like me.

Beneath that, hastily added in a different shade of ink was:

PPS: Grumpy Bear! I've been sleeping with Grumpy Bear, not Finn!

x

She laughed again because, well she didn't know what was more adorable, the thought of Quinn sleeping with a teddy bear or the thought of Quinn getting flustered thinking Rachel might get the wrong idea.

She tucked the note into a book at the back and then, shoulder deep in her locker for the sake of privacy, she brought the bear to her nose and inhaled deeply. She hummed in pleasure as she exhaled; yep, that was Quinn,. Sweet, earthy, like an alpine forest after the big spring thaw. It was the most exquisite torture and she was going to give Quinn a piece of her mind for inflicting it on her the next time they were able to speak. For now though she was just going to squash Grumpy's face as hard against her nose as she could and . . .

"RuPaul?"

Wow, her skull clanging off of the side of her locker in shock echoed enough to make her ears ring. Shaking her head to try and clear it, she pushed the bear as far back into the darkness as she could, behind the plastic bag of emergency clothes that she hadn't had to use last week and then wiped her sleeves hastily over her eyes and cheeks. Only then did she slowly pull her head out and turn to look at Quinn.

She was flanked by Santana and Brittany, which certainly explained the nickname and probably the reason she'd stopped at all. Rachel braced herself for what might come next.

"Yes, Quinn?"

"The bell already rang. You're going to be late for class."

Wait, that was it?

"Oh, I didn't hear it. I was miles away there for a minute."

"Really? Do you have, like, a secret Narnia back there?" Brittany moved closer to look in her locker and then huffed when Rachel slammed the door closed in a panic. "I wasn't going to try and go through it or anything."

"So did Finn the Clueless challenge you to pistols at dawn yet, Stubbles?"

"Why would he do that, Santana?"

"Uh, because you admitted to wanting to fuck his girlfriend?"

Rachel's eyes bugged, jaw dropping in . . . well, shock was probably the closest thing to what had just shot through her at those words. "I did no such thing!"

"Sure, so you're trying to tell me your big fantasy always ended right after the oh-so romantic face-sucking?" Santana rolled her eyes but then added, "Actually, you are that lame."

"My fantasies are not lame, thank you very much! Not that I . . . I . . ."

"Can we please stop grossing me out now. You're going to bring back my morning sickness."

Santana didn't seem to know which one of them she wanted to smirk at the hardest. Oh yeah, it was going to take more than an article on Jacob's blog to convince her that their feelings weren't mutual. She winced a little because the answer was going to be freezing. Quinn was going to have to slushie her, maybe more than once to sell their story.

"I have this fantasy where Santana dresses like a . . ."

"Come on, we're gonna get detention for being late!"

Or Brittany could just keep doing that, she mused as she watched Santana hustle her best friend down the corridor. She looked curiously at Quinn who just grinned, winked and turned on her heel to follow the other two.

Finn had been slushied! And while she had been standing right there. Some of the grape-flavoured ice had actually hit her arm.

Okay, so she'd been slushied a few times now, but the first two had been by accident and the last time had been Rachel which kind of made it okay – she had sort of asked for it after all – but this . . . this was not okay!

Karofsky had taunted him, about Glee club and about Rachel, pointing out with great pleasure how he'd been played by the 'fugly midget' – her fury had actually outweighed Finn's at that point! – before declaring a new world order and strutting off like he was actually worth something to anyone.

Finn refused to get cleaned up in the bathroom because it was time for Glee and so she had grabbed one of the Cheerios towels and was wiping his face off in the Choir room, trying to ignore the way Rachel was eyeing Finn dolefully. It would have been easier if she'd thought it came from jealously, but she was pretty sure Rachel was just devastated that a) Finn had been slushied, and b) he wouldn't look at her when she'd offered condolences.

He perked up though when Mr. Schue started rapping to Bust a Move because Mr. Schue rapping was always funny, and she happily went to dance with Santana and Brittany.

Rachel still didn't seem quite herself though. She was smiling and singing along but she was still in her seat, not getting up to dance with everyone else.

So was Puck for that matter, and sitting right next to her?

Quinn's eyes narrowed, but no, she was being stupid, because those two? Never! Puck had more . . . or Rachel had more . . . She really couldn't finish either of those sentences without making herself feel bad so she didn't even try.

She felt like such an idiot right now. Only losers and freaks made appointments with Guidance Counsellors and even they didn't do it willingly. And why couldn't Miss Pilsbury have a tiny cubicle in the basement or something instead of an office right off the main hall with gigantic glass windows that just anyone could look through?

This had not been her idea, but she'd been freaking out and Finn had suggested it and she was out of ideas and prepared to do whatever it took now to ensure they stayed on top. Everything she had worked so hard to achieve was at stake here and trying to keep her status felt like spinning plates in the dark – she knew they were all wobbling, but she couldn't see which one she needed to deal with first to keep her balance.

Miss Pilsbury looked like a confused rabbit. "But aren't you, like, two of the most popular kids in school?"

"We were," she shot back, "until we joined Glee Club, and that's why Finn got a slushie facial, I'm sure of it."

Finn chuckled uncomfortably beside her. "And because you lied and told everyone you tried to kiss Rachel."

Her jaw tightened, "Fine, that too."

"And, maybe, because everyone knows I got you pregnant."

"Right, right!" Miss Pilsbury clapped her hands before clasping them together and leaning on her elbows. "Perhaps that's what we should really be talking about."

"The gay thing or the baby thing?" Finn asked.

Miss Pilsbury made an either/or face and Quinn jumped in before she could speak.

"I'm not gay, so there's nothing there to talk about, and we don't need to talk about the baby. What we need is some advice on how to remain McKinley's IT couple until the day I graduate. Now can you help us or not?"

When they left the goldfish bowl of an office ten minutes later, Finn was gushing enthusiastically about how sunglasses were going to right all the wrongs in their world, and Quinn was swiftly stuffing unwanted pamplets into her bag before anyone noticed them. 'You're not an infertile fatty, you're just pregnant' and 'Why do I like other boobs more than my own' were not likely to right any wrongs.

"So, I was wondering if you, like, wanted to get together to help me work on the mash-up assignment?"

Rachel stared at him, and then down at the slushie that was still in the cup and not on her face and . . . was he serious?

"We could, maybe go to Breadstix, work on a few ideas and then back to your place to try them out."

This had to be a dream. One of those where you thought you'd already woken up and started your day only to suddenly jolt awake when the late bell ringing turned out to really be your alarm clock.

Please let that be the case.

"You would like to get take out from Breadstix and then go back to mine?" she asked slowly, wondering why her subconscious had cast Noah Puckerman in this role when it was clearly built for Quinn.

"No way! They only pack you, like, two breadsticks each if you get take out. If you want your money's worth you've gotta get a table and eat there."

The first bell rang; she didn't wake up.

Oh, this was really happening.

Rachel smiled, it didn't even matter that he was thinking more of his wallet and stomach than her, because he was also worrying more about his wallet and stomach than being seen with her. She watched as further down from her locker Quinn picked lint out of Finn's hair while affectionately scolding him for looking a scruff.

Why were they both wearing sunglasses indoors? Maybe this was a dream after all.

She looked back to Puck. "I accept."

"Cool." He returned her smile. "The Puckasarus needs to eat early though so I'll pick you up at six."

"That's perfectly fine."

Quinn turned from Finn to close her locker door just in time to see Puck smile at Rachel and then head off down the hall.

'What the hell?'