TFP: Youngling

Ch.44~ The family we make

I awoke to the sound of Orion entering the room, onlining my optics I turned to him. He smiled at me and leaned down to kiss my forehelm, I smiled at the affectionate gesture. He leaned further down and kissed Stargazer's helm before rising back up.

"How was your patrol?" I asked.

"Uneventful." He answered, I sat up and laid Stargazer down. "Something wrong?"

"Can I talk with you before you recharge?" I quizzed, he nodded and offered me a servo.

"Of course." He replied, I took his servo and he helped me off the berth with ease. "Shall we talk outside?"

"Yes, thank you," I said, he nodded and led me out of the room and toward the storage area.

"What is troubling you, my love?" he asked, I sighed.

"Sunstreaker and Sideswipe are hiding something from me, they came in last night both of them in quite a state. They wouldn't tell me what they were doing but is clear they're targeting Decepticon groups." I explained, he turned away looking upset. "You know what they're up to, don't you?"

"I do." He admitted, he turned to me with a sad expression. "I told them not to, but they were adamant that there was nothing I could do to stop them."

"What in Primus' name are they doing?" I demanded, he looked hesitant. "Orion, please."

"Raiding Decepticon mines." He stated, I felt my spark skip a pulse. "The others have joined in their plans."

"Those fragging idiots!" I screamed, "Raiding Decepticon mines is beyond dangerous! One stray shot could blow them and their target sky high! What in the world are they thinking?!"

"In their minds, they're doing it to help you and Stargazer, and nothing I say will sway them." He stated I ground my denta.

"Idiots the lot of them…" I grumbled; he cupped my cheekplate pulling me to meet his gaze.

"I'm worried for them as well." He assured, I sighed.

"I know you are." I soothed, I leaned into his palm. "I'll try talking some sense into them, they may listen to me."

"Perhaps, you've always been more persuasive than me," he stated, I scoffed at that.

"I'm just more stubborn and vocal," I stated. "Besides those two have always been more willing to listen to me."

"You are the closest they have to a grand-creator," Optimus stated, I smiled sadly.

"I suppose so, their Carrier was my bratling after all." I mused.

I hadn't thought about Jazz in a while. He was my bratling in everything but CNA, reuniting with him was one of my happiest memories. Even though it had been so long since I saw him, and yet, he still saw me as he did when he was young. I did too. He was my creation, and I loved him dearly.

Now he was gone and I've adopted his youngest creation. How cruel. He deserved so much better. I felt tears build in my optics, I haven't cried much over his passing. I kept pushing it back, not allowing myself to think about it. But it was fact, he was gone and never coming back.

"Love, it's alright." Orion hushed, I choked back a sob.

"I've known it for so long, why is it just hitting me now… Primus, he really is gone." I rambled between sobs.

"You've never given yourself the time. You have the time now." He soothed, I chuckled but it changed into a sob.

Sure, I had cried, I'd been sad about his passing but I never paused long enough to really grieve him. He was my creation, even if we were separated for so long. He was mine. And now he was gone, and I'd never see him again. See that sweet smile or hear his infectious laugh.

He was gone.

(Flashback)

"Carrier?" Jazz said, I turned to see him huddled up in the corner of the safe room.

"Yes Jazz," I replied, he pulled his pedes as close to his chestplate as he could manage with his swell.

"I'm scared." He admitted, I moved to sit next to him. "Prowler and my bitlets are out there and I can't do nothin' fer 'em."

"You and Prowl raised some tough mechlings, they can handle themselves, same with Prowl. Besides it's not just them out there, they are tons of bots out there who can help them." I soothed wrapping my arm around him. "You worry about the bitlet in your forge, they need you most right now."

I felt him cuddled into my side, I gently stroked his plating as he settled against me. It's not often he calls me Carrier, he's a grown mech after all. But when he does, I know he needs me. Carrying a newspark during this war has been hard on him.

"Carrier, me and Prowler are gonna go on the ships leaving the planet. Come with us." He pleaded, I reached up to stroke his helm.

"I can't, I'm needed here." I apologized; he nuzzled my plating.

"Don't want ta be apart." He admitted, leaned down and kissed an audio horn.

"I know, but it's only until this is all over." I soothed, he cuddled into me more.

"I know, just gonna miss ya." He mumbled; I rubbed his helm again.

"So will I, but you and that newspark need to be as far from this as you can and I need to be here to fix up the idiots fighting to end this. But once it's over, I'll be there."

"Promise."

"I promise, now try to get some recharge, you need it."

(End Flashback)

Megatron, this war, it's taken so much from me. Two of my creations, my brother, countless friends. What else does it want from me?!

I felt Orion wrap his arms around me pulling me into a warm embrace. I clung to his plating as I sobbed out my grief. Each sob made my whole frame shaking. My vocalizer hurt from the force of each sob and wail that left me. But I couldn't stop, all the things I've held back it was all hitting me.

"It'll all be alright, let it all out." He hushed; I buried my faceplate into his armour. "I'll be here."

(Orion's POV)

I held my love closer; his sobbing had died down but I could still his frame trembling. This was the first time he ever properly grieved the loss of Jazz. Sure, he had taken moments to acknowledge the loss, but until now he'd only done so briefly. He always had trouble allowing himself the time to grieve.

He began to pull back and I let him, he reached up and wiped at his faceplate with the back of his servo. He pressed the back of his servos over his optics as he took a shaky vent. I resisted the urge to pull him into another embrace, instead, I rested my servos on his hipplating.

"Thank you, I needed that." He said slowly lowering his servos.

"Anytime my love." I hushed, he smiled and leaned back into me.

"I think it's time we called it a night." He stated.

"I couldn't agree more," I replied.

I reached down and hoisted him up, resting his weight on my hips I secured one arm under him as the other wrapped around his backstruts. He chuckled and I felt his servos snake around my neckcables. He buried his faceplate into my shoulderplate as I began the trek back to our room.

"You know I'm much too heavy for you to carry around like this." He lectured half-heartedly.

"Would you like me to set you down?" I posed, he leaned into me more.

"No," he admitted, I kissed his helm fondly.

Entering our room, I paused as I saw a pair of small optics looking at us. Carefully I sent Ratchet onto his pedes, he turned around and paused at the sight of our currently awake creation. He strode over the berth and quickly picked up the small feme.

"It's late sweetspark, did something wake you?" he asked, she cuddled up to his plating.

"Cold." She muttered; I suppose it was getting colder now that winter has set in.

"Let's go get your thermal blanket." He hummed.

"I'll go get it," I stated, I believe I saw it in the main room.

Leaving our room I made the trek toward the main room, entering I saw the twins at the monitor. Sideswipe turned to me and gave a small wave before turning back to the monitor. I looked to the screen; they were planning another raid.

I went to the crates Stargazer usually laid on and grabbed her thermal blanket. I paused before I left the room, I feel like I should say something. Even if my words do not reach them, I need to say something.

"He knows what you are up to," I stated, turning to the twins. "While I'm sure he will tell you himself how much he disapproves I need to reiterate that I do not approve. I understand your reasoning, but I cannot approve of it. Both of your lives are more important than having a full stock room."

"We made up our minds," Sunstreaker stated turning to me with a hard expression. "And nothing either you can say or do will change that."

"We shall see," I stated and turned to leave them.

While I am certain my words cannot reach them, I doubt that it's the same for Ratchet. Despite all their bravado, I know they both are too fond of Ratchet to not take his opinion seriously. Also, as stubborn as they can be, I know he is far more stubborn.

I stopped before our berthroom and reached up and ran a servo over my faceplate. I must have a dour expression on after that exchange. Stargazer was far too perceptive to the emotions of others to go with an expression like this. I need to think of something else, this will be addressed soon enough.

Perhaps when Stargazer is feeling better, I can take her to finally meet the Rescue Bots. I'm sure she would enjoy the trip, and I can see her and young Cody getting along well. I shall also have to take the twins there as well, I know they will be happy to see Blades. Yes, once things settle I can take a few days to do that.

I stepped into our room and I saw that Ratchet had Stargazer wrapped in a warm embrace. I smiled fondly at them, he looked to me with a smile. I leaned over and kissed his cheekplate before gently draping the thermal blanket over his front. He kissed my cheekplate back before I pulled back.

"Warm now?" Ratchet cooed, she chirped back happily. "Well, now that you're all warm and cozy I think it's time to get back to recharge. Right Orion?"

"I couldn't agree more love," I affirmed.

I will make a safe world for them.

(Ratchet's POV)

Orion took Stargazer for the morning shift as I went to confront the twins. She didn't need to be around for this. I have no doubt this will be a loud argument. I walked around till I found them in the training room. Upon seeing me they both tensed and avoided looking at me.

"We need to talk," I stated, Sunstreaker growled plating puffing out in his frustration as Sideswipe seemed to try and hide behind his twin. "Got a problem with that Sunstreaker?"

"You won't change our minds." He snarled; I rolled my optics.

"Oh please, you wouldn't be looking so defensive if you actually believed that." I countered; his engine roared as he snarled at me. "You couldn't scare me off if you tried bratling."

He rushed forward and winded up a punch but he froze as I stood my ground. Honestly, in some ways, he hasn't changed at all since he was youngling. He lowered his fist and instead tried to intimidate me by leaning over me snarling. I rolled my optics again and reached up and flicked his forehelm. He looked surprised and pulled back absently touching the spot.

"I've known you both since your Carrier brought you both back with him after a mission when you were barely a cycle old. Sunstreaker, I know you too well to fall for your slagging tough mech act." I stated, he turned away looking more ashamed than angry. "Now, explain to me why you thought it was a good idea to go around raiding Decepticon mines?"

"You and Star need to the energon," Sunstreaker muttered, I walked over and cupped his cheekplate pulling his gaze back to me.

"I know you want to help, but this isn't the way." I hushed; he broke away.

"Then what is the fragging way?!" he shouted, "Just keep doing what we always do, and end up back in the same fragging place! I am sick and tired of losing!"

"What's the point of winning if no one is left!" I yelled, I marched up and pointed a finger at his faceplate. "Both of you are too fragging young to get blown up in so Decepticon mine! By the pit, don't throw away the lives your Carrier risked his life to save! Your Carrier carried you both out of the heart of a Decepticon base after your birth creators gave you both to him! He didn't do that for you both to die in this fragging war!"

"H-he w-what?" Sunstreaker stated and backed up looking shocked.

Jazz never told them…

"Were our birth creators…?" Sideswipe began.

"Decepticons? Yes." I stated, they both looked hurt. "You both know by now that not all of them are evil. From what your Carrier told me your birth creators gave you both to him because they knew they couldn't escape with you. I don't know their names, Jazz refused to name them. All I know was your birth Carrier was a medic, and thus was installed with a tracker. A safeguard so that no Decepticon medic could defect, and your birth Sire refused to leave him behind."

They both looked devastated as they huddled together before me. I understand why Jazz had always hesitated to tell them. But he always assured me he would tell them. I assume he had. Seems he hadn't.

I stepped closer and wrapped my arms around them pulling them into a comforting embrace. I could feel them both trembling. I gently reached up to rub their helms soothingly.

"You're still Jazz and Prowl's creations, you're both still my grand-creations. Nothing will ever change that." I hushed, I felt them grip onto my plating. "Which is why I can't sit back and let you both do something so dangerous. I'm done watching fools die."

"We don't want to lose you and Star either! You're all the family we have left!" Sides cried, I teared up a bit at his words. "Please… Don't leave us too…"

"We aren't going anywhere, I promise," I assured; I felt them push closer their grips tightening.

Primus, please let me keep the last of my family through the end of this miserable war. I'm not strong enough to lose anyone else.

(Stargazer's POV)

I turned from the book Sire was reading me to see Carrier and my brothers walking into the room. Something felt off, I looked up to see Sire looking to them in relief. Whatever happened it seemed to be a good outcome. Sire turned his gaze down to me and smiled before rubbing my helm gently.

"Is your Sire reading to you?" Carrier asked, I turned to see him walking over to us.

"Uhuh, Sire's reading Comet in Moominland," I replied; Carrier knelt down before us and reached over to rub my helm.

"Having fun?" he hummed, I nodded.

"After this story, I believe it will be time for my patrol." Sire stated, I pouted but nodded. "We can read the next story tomorrow."

"Promise?" I quizzed looking up at Sire.

"I promise." He assured.

(Later)

I whimpered as Carrier set me down on the berth, I was scared. He grabbed my servos in a gentle hold and kissed my helm crest. Raf had been hurt, and everyone was scrambling. Something was happening. Was I going to lose everyone? He hushed me as I whimpered.

"Everything is going to be okay sweetspark. But I need you to stay in here until I come for you. You have your datapad and your thermal blanket. Can you wait here for me?" Carrier asked, I sniffled nodding. "Can you use words, sweetspark?"

"I'll wait here," I affirmed; he kissed my cheekplates.

"Such a good feme, I'll be back as soon as I can." He soothed, I nodded and he pulled me into a warm hug. "I love you."

"Love you too," I murmured, he pulled back and rubbed my helm.

"Everything's going to be okay." He reminded; I nodded.

He kissed my helm crest again before pulling back, he paused in the door for a moment before leaving the room shutting the door behind him. I pulled the thermal blanket off the berth and wrapped myself tightly in its comforting warmth.

Carrier said everything is going to be okay.

Why? Why do I feel like I'm about to lose someone again?

I felt hot tears fall down my cheekplates in steady streams as I curled up into a ball. I felt my frame shake as I began to sob violently.

I'm scared!