Hey there! Yes, I am still among the land of the living. I know I haven't updated Scoundrels in a bit and Fear the Old Blood in far too long, but I am trying. I have a lot of work to do and haven't found much time to write, so if any of you follow those stories and are reading this, rest assured they are not forgotten, it's just that I don't have a lot of time anymore. Still, I'm trying to fix that and will try to get some chapters out as soon as possible.

Anyway, here's more funny Space Marines. Enjoy!

TodTownsend40k: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!

Generation Zero: I'll look into that one. If you've got any ideas I'd love to hear 'em.

the metaphysical god of heroes: I mean... yeah, fair. I hope you like these ones as well!

Dovahwolf13: Oh, that's a great idea. I'll have to think up some. In the meantime, enjoy these!

merendinoemiliano: Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed them!

Skorpionrehkitz: Yes, our brothers are quite sad about that one. Nevertheless, the chapter shall endure!

gread dxd: I'm trying my best! It's not forgotten, rest assured, it's just that I have no time to write and a whole different story on top of that, but I'll get there!

THAT brother: Indeed, brother. May the Emperor bless you in your firefighting duties!

oOo

251. You are a Space Marine, and thus no longer allowed to substitute accuracy for enthusiasm.

252. No longer allowed to sign up annoying brothers for space hulk exploration duty.

253. Despite all Marines possessing omophageas, eating an Eldar will not give you psychic powers, and you are not allowed to try this.

254. No longer allowed to tell the Recclusiarch he takes himself too seriously.

255. No longer allowed to take portable speakers with you on deployment to play BFG Division every time you enter the battlefield.

256. No longer allowed to strike up conversations with Assassinorum operatives.

257. No longer allowed to speculate on who the Blood Ravens' Primarch is.

258. No longer allowed to call the Master of the Forge "snookums". You might just find your power armor not working the next time you need it…

259. The Librarians are not Ghostbusters.

260. No longer allowed to have a private army of Grots.

261. Or Guardsmen.

262. Or Tyranid Rippers.

263. No longer allowed to speculate on what a Tau/human hybrid would look like.

264. No longer allowed to use the phrase "y'all".

265. The fortress monastery does not require a karaoke machine.

266. The Apothecaries are no longer allowed to quote M*A*S*H.

267. No longer allowed to go big game hunting on Catachan.

268. There is not a Chaos god called 'Aaron Demski-Bowden'.

269. Even if his retconn of the Emperor was atrocious.

270. You are to remember the Inquisition doesn't have a sense of humor.

271. No longer allowed to get the Ultramarines and Lamenters to fight together to 'balance out the plot armor'.

272. No longer allowed to request service studs in neon colors.

273. 'Oops' is not an appropriate excuse.

274. No longer allowed to try and modify earthshakers to fire your brothers instead of shells.

275. Even if it's arguably more destructive.

276. The Librarians are no longer allowed to try and put on a pyrotechnic show using Warp lightning.

277. No longer allowed to take dancing lessons from mortals in your downtime.

278. Sunbathing does not work for Astartes.

279. My correct title is Chapter Master, not Supreme Overlord.

280. Or 'Big Boss'.

281. Our battle cry is not "WAAAAGH!"

282. No longer allowed to try to get interred in a dreadnought.

283. Kidnapping Guardsmen for a scavenger hunt in the fortress monastery is not allowed.

284. Even if they're okay with it.

285. There is no such thing as a were-Tau.

286. No longer allowed to pose for mortal pin-up calendars. Despite the obscene money we can get from it, we have a reputation to maintain.

287. No longer allowed to offer to trade the remembrancer to the Eldar.

288. No longer allowed to call Inquisitors "immoral, lying slime" even if you are right.

289. No longer allowed to fire Whirlwinds at the Marines Malevolent if they show up in-system.

290. Warning shots with bolters are acceptable.

291. No longer allowed to start a fast food chain.

292. The Apothecaries are no longer allowed to "mix and match" gene seed from different Primarchs.

293. No longer allowed to call the Minotaurs the "High Lords' B*tches."

294. Even if you are correct.

295. None of our brothers have the same names as any daemons' True Name, and it is wrong for the Librarians to insinuate otherwise.

296. No longer allowed to allow Guardsmen to take your watch shifts.

297. Even if they could use the experience.

298. The Apothecaries are no longer allowed to give Librarians hallucinogenic drugs for any reason whatsoever, including medical purposes.

299. No longer allowed to get Cato Sicarius to fight Lucius the Eternal to "see whose plot armor will win."

300. No longer allowed to go near the Angels Penitent.

oOo

There we have it! I hope you enjoyed. As always, I greatly appreciate any comments, questions, concerns, criticisms, and reviews!