Let me know what you think ;) your reviews get me through my writing blocks every time

Sorry about the lateness :(

--

It was strange, how such a short time in my life could affect me to the point where I couldn't function. Until I was broken from the humiliation of James's words and his bite. Which was funny considering all the shitty things that had happened before Forks. Perhaps it was because when I had moved to Forks, my life had improved to the point where I knew what real safety felt like for the first time. An absolute certainty that I would have a bed and an uninterrupted night of sleep.

I don't think that I can ever forgive those fucking vampires for taking that from me.

"Bells? C'mon, please say something." Giant hands fawned over my face in a helpless gesture.

And I was at last lucid enough to be embarrassed by my position; Jake cradling me in Emily's kitchen with several people bustling around as if trying to stop a house fire. Jesus.

I wiggled out of my best friend's grasp. "I'm good. All good." An unreal amount of sweat allowed me to slip quite easily out of muscular arms and onto my feet. "My bad." I gasped.

Jake's face warred between relief and something darker. "You told me this stopped happening." He growled.

All the commotion stopped and all eyes landed on us. Jared and Ember looked like they had been sorting through a first-aid kit while Emily had a melting ice pack in her hand. My face flamed.

"It had for awhile, but-"

The door burst open before I could finish defending myself.

It was Paul and he looked as panicked as I'd ever seen him. Between his ruffled hair and cutoffs riding dangerously low on his hips, it was also the closest to naked I'd seen him. "Bella?"

Jake turned purple, his frustration at last finding a target. "She's fine, Lahote."

If Paul heard him, he certainly didn't show it as he sliced through the room in front of me, effectively forming a shield from the audience of strangers. He then placed a hand on my shoulder before giving me a thorough look-over. His demeanor lightened after a few seconds.

"Are you okay?" He murmured.

"Yeah, think I'm over it now." I whispered, wanting once again for the Earth to swallow me whole. Only a day has passed since Sam's group had taken me in and already I was making an ass out of myself.

Paul looked like he was about to say something before Jake crept around me to talk over my head. "Her panic attacks are back."

I shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot.

My imprint scowled at him. "No shit, Dr. Phil. I think she'd appreciate it if you didn't go shouting her business to everyone. People tend to not like that." He then turned around to face Embry and Jared. "Can either of you take my shift? I'll get you back for the night of your choice."

"I got you," Jared shrugged, "hope you feel better, Bella." He sauntered away after nabbing a muffin off the counter.

Emily and Embry echoed similar sentiments before vacating the kitchen, leaving me, Jacob, and Paul standing alone. Which meant I could let loose.

"What the hell, Jake?" I turned on my friend, hands on my hips so that his Neanderthal brain could catch up to his actions.

His eyes widened. "What? I was worried."

"So you had to give me the third-degree in front of your friends? Gee," I snarked, "really helped me get my bearings."

He had the grace to look remorseful. "Sorry, Bells. Shit was flying out of my mouth and I was being a dumbass. With these fuckers in my head all the time, never occurred to me to watch what I was saying."

Paul shot him a dirty look as I stared at the two large men in front of me. Processing the information which had been unleashed upon me in the most casual way imaginable. "What," I said, "do you mean by 'in your head'?"

My imprint stepped up to the plate. Literally as he stepped up so close to me that I couldn't see my idiotic best friend — which was most likely his goal. "Wolves have a pack mind when we're transformed. We can see what everyone else sees, eavesdrop on each others' thoughts. It makes hunting vampires easier when we can sync up in an instant."

God if only there was some kind of encyclopedia of supernaturalness so these surprises stopped popping up like some kind of sick game of wack-a-mole. The sweat was still drying on my skin, but sudden inspiration struck. Here I was with two guys whom I trusted implicitly, so why couldn't they be my sources of information? Running from all of the weird shit was a strategy that had ended in complete failure, so maybe it was time I armed myself with it, used it to my advantage.

Which meant it was time to confront what I'd refused to acknowledge ever since Paul found me that night.

"A female vampire with wild red hair." It felt like I was speaking past rocks lodged in my throat. "Have you ever seen her on your patrols?"

Seconds clicked away into almost half a minute. Neither of them answered. Paul was still blocking Jake from my sight, a shame since he was so much harder to read than my childhood friend. His face was stoic and controlled.

But their silence was all I needed for an answer, and any shred of hope I'd been harboring was destroyed. Paul's arms were around me the second my brain completed the circuit, the horrific picture of my father's dead body underneath a vampire's fangs. Numb, I could at last meet Jake's eyes. He looked as grief-stricken and as angry as I felt. For the first time in a long time, we were on the same page.

It was Jacob who knew and loved Charlie just as much I did, so it only felt right to ask him the question. "So she killed him, huh? Charlie died because Victoria couldn't separate me from those fucking asshole Cullens."

"Yes, the redhead got to him before I could," His voice was shaky and my best friend was close to tears, "I found him too late, only caught her disgusting stench on him when he was cold. The sirens were loud and I had to get out of there and I tried to track her. For days. I tried for days, Bells." A dam broke and Jake turned away from us.

Paul released me. And then I was hugging Jake, pressing my tears into his bare abdomen. "It's okay, Jake. I know you tried. She has a talent for escaping — I doubt there was really anything you could've done alone. I'm so sorry...I'm sorry that my actions made her target Charlie."

After awhile, Jacob regained control and was stroking my hair. His eyes were red-rimmed. "It's not your fault. Evil is evil, Bells. She was going to drain someone at some point, whether it was because of you or the Cullens is just a dumbass excuse. Shit happens."

I found myself nodding. His words matched Paul's all those months ago. Maybe if they kept repeating them, I could truly move on with my life. "Charlie was a good person... I miss him so much."

"Me too."

"I'm glad that Paul found me that night." A whispered confession.

Jake's hand froze in my hair and he began to tremble. "Please never do something so reckless again. I know you were hurting, but I can't lose someone else." He let me go, his massive body still shaking. He then exited out of the back door without another word.

Which left me with Paul. The tall man was leaning against the counter with his arms crossed. His face was perfectly neutral, his eyes trained on my face. Somehow I could tell he wasn't trying to intimidate me, he was just trying to be unobtrusive, like he knew how close I was to my breaking point.

My feet closed the distance between us on their own accord. They stopped about six inches away, close enough for me to feel the heat waving off of his muscular frame.

"I don't know everything yet."

He didn't blink at my statement. "Do you think you're ready?" His voice was a purr of sound.

He still seemed so distant, so careful with me.

"What can be worse than knowing that a vampire from my past murdered my father?" I asked, a little frustrated from his overprotectiveness. "It hurts, hurts like a bitch, but I need to know if she's alive. Am I safe, Paul? Are we safe? Do I need to leave LaPush so she doesn't—"

A growl split through the air, raising the hairs on the back of my neck. A hot hand shot out and gripped my chin.

Paul's eyes, no longer neutral, blazed into mine. "You're not leaving me." The quiet statement shook with contained passion and fury.

Shock filtered into my system at his words and his expression. He cared. "Like I could get away from you."

A feral smile curved the edge of his lips, and his hand tightened on my face. He looked like he was about to lean down and do something that would short circuit my nerve-endings, most likely give me a stroke from sensation.

Every muscle in my body tensed in anticipation. "You're not answering my question."

Pure male aggravation twisted his features. "You won't like the answer. But you're safe. That's all you need to know."

Everything came to a standstill, and I knew I had a real choice to make. I believed Paul about keeping me safe, but was that enough? The image of his blood on my hands answered any doubts I had. As much as I would like to be Paul's little rag doll to protect from all harm, I wanted to protect him from anything and everything in this world even more. He was mine.

Backing away from his touch, so distracting and possessive, I glared up at him. "Tell me — is Victoria still alive?"

"The bloodsucker is ash in the wind, she can't harm another human being again." All light in Paul's eyes was swallowed into blackness and he looked close to feral.

Relief and confusion slammed into me simultaneously. "Then why-"

"I could hear your breathing, your fucking footsteps, your blood dripping when I smelled her. She was running towards you full-speed, and I was the only wolf within miles of you. She was going to kill you." Paul's breath was beginning to grow shaky and unstable as he continued to stare at me. "I ripped her to shreds. Beheaded her. Then the others came to make the fire."

He took away the space between us in one step, lifted me up by my butt with one arm while his other hand splayed into my hair, forcing me to look at the fierce anger and possessiveness on his face. "She tried to take you from me." His chest was vibrating with growls. "And for that she died. I left once the first flame started and I found you. Cold and bleeding and so destroyed. I knew why you cut yourself, Bella. Not one tries to take you from me. Not even you."

His lips crushed to mine before I could tell him how wrong he was.

I didn't like his answer. I loved it.