In the day and a half that Rodney had been in the orphanage, the kids had already reeked havoc on the broken spirit. Two older boys had tried to beat him up, but their words were enough to damage the pour soul, causing Rodney to only recede further into himself, building his inner walls up that much higher. When Elaine had arrived at five Wednesday evening, she barely recognized the poor child. He brought his small duffle bag, tossed it in the back seat and climbed into the driver's side.

The sarcastic child, full of bite and arrogance, now sat in the passenger's seat of the sedan. His face pensive perhaps a little nervousness showing as he stared out the window. Elaine looked over at the boy and took a deep breath, praying this would be the only time she would ever have to drive him to a foster home.

"I'm only a call away from you…you know that right?"

"It's fine," he growled.

"Don't shut me out Rodney! This isn't my fault…"

"Of course not! It's no one's fault, it's just so easy to leave poor Rodney all alone! You and Dr. Byers are always telling me I need to open up more, how am I supposed to do that when everyone I try to get close to leaves me or dies!" he barked.

He was becoming bitter, feeling sorry for himself, but she wouldn't let him. She wasn't going to sit here and watch him turn into a bitter ten year old boy. Too cynical for his own good. Rodney was better than that, better than this. She pulled the car to a stop in front of the house and glared at him, "Rodney I am not leaving you! I'm trying to help you if anything; but I need you to cool your heels and lose the attitude. We will not go in until you do, I'm not going to let you treat these wonderful people badly. They're opening their hearts and home. You are a guest here and they're trying to help."

His face had returned to it's stony expression, his anger, and bitterness controlled. She sighed, sensing this would be a long evening, "Rodney, your best behavior," she reiterated.

"Fine!" He barked in return.

She shook her head and got his bag out of the back, taking it she handed it to him and led him up the walk way to the house. His face was blank, showing no signs of the fear and intimidation he no doubt felt. He was moving in with strangers, people he hadn't ever met before. Then again his father had been a stranger to him for his entire life, why should he suddenly feel any different towards these people, they were bound to be nicer to him than his father ever was.

Sighing she rapped on the large oak door and looked down at him, "I got it!" she heard a cry from the other side of the door. Suddenly it was flung open to reveal a raven haired boy. A taller man came up from behind the boy and placed his hand on his son's shoulders.

"Elaine, nice to see you again, you remember my son John. This must be Rodney, I'm Luke Sheppard," Luke said holding out his hand.

Elaine prodded her charge in the back until he got the boy to extend his hand in response and shake Luke's hand. Luke smiled softly and looked back at Elaine, "come on in, Lauren's just finishing up dinner, your welcome to stay."

"I can't, I'm just here to drop this little punk off," Elaine replied as she ran her hand over his silky hair. Sighing she knelt down in front of him, straightening his light summer jacket slightly and looked at him, "best behavior."

"I said fine," he grumbled again.

"Terd," she replied softly, "Rodney, I promise I will visit okay," she wasn't surprised when he simply shrugged, as though her leaving him here on someone's front door step didn't bother him. "Well, don't let anyone ever tell you that you aren't smart, we both know that isn't true. I promise to see you again, but if for some reason we don't, make me proud okay, I want to see your name in the papers one day for a good reason okay?"

A simple nod confirmed her statement, god she wanted to hug the little turkey; to give him all the love in the world. However, her job was to simply provide him with a good home and hope for the best. She looked into those blue eyes and knew that Rodney McKay was one little boy, one case she would never forget.

"Be good, and take care of yourself," with that she stood and shook Luke's hand. With one final glance at the boys she made her way back to her car.

"Well, are you hungry?" Rodney looked up at the man and nodded hesitantly. "John, would you please take Rodney's luggage to the guest room?"

"Yes sir," John said, taking the luggage from a reluctant Rodney.

Smiling a little sadly, Luke led the boy through the beautiful house. Rodney took it all in, memorizing every feature, every picture. Pictures were everywhere, pictures of John's various stages in life. Most of them had a plane somewhere in the picture. There were also pictures of Luke and his wife, that's the one Rodney found himself staring at for a moment. She was a beautiful woman, friendly and kind looking.

The kitchen was a warm yellow, a woman stood at the counter top, "Lauren," Luke called.

The pictures had done her no justice, she was more beautiful than Rodney could ever remember any woman looking. She had dark raven black hair and bright beautiful sparkling blue eyes, "you must be Rodney, I'm Lauren Sheppard, you can call me Lauren. I know this is probably all really overwhelming, but take your time. Are you hungry?"

"Sorta," he replied quietly, causing Luke to smile.

"Well, I heard from someone you liked Meatloaf and mashed potatoes. So I made you meatloaf for dinner, along with mashed potatoes and green beans, no lemon at all. We also have milk, which I thought would be the safest thing for you? Does that sound okay?"

"Yeah," he replied.

"Great, why don't you take a seat," the boy nodded and made his way over to the table, moments later John joined him at the table, making a sad attempt at social conversation, but Rodney quickly retreated into himself.

Luke and Lauren joined finally, and soon the family dug in. Lauren watched idly as Rodney shoveled the foot into his mouth as though he wouldn't get anymore for a mighty long time. She didn't have the heart to scold him, she figured she'd tell him later if he did it again, but for now he could eat as much as he desired. He finally slowed down, and looked up at Lauren. She smiled softly at him, hoping to crack the wall. He looked at her for a moment, trying to gauge the response he should give to her, finally he allowed a tiny smile.

"Can I be excused?" John said full of excitement.

"Ah ah, it's your turn to help with the dishes tonight young man," Luke scolded.

"Rodney, sweetheart, are you finished?" Lauren asked, watching as he looked down at his plate then slowly nodded.

"Yes ma'am, I s'pose so," he replied.

"Why don't I show you around."

He nodded and hopped off the chair he had been sitting on, Lauren looked at her husband, smiled and reached out. She honestly expected Rodney to pull away at the outstretched hand, but was pleasantly surprised when he reached back and took it tightly I his hand.

"You're going to be staying in the guest room, we have it set up currently for my mom and dad, but if you're up to it tomorrow, we'll go shopping and get whatever you want or need to make the room your own," she offered.

"Is John gonna come?"

"No, John goes to work with Luke during the summer, why?"

"He's bigger than me," Rodney whispered almost frightened.

"Give him a chance sweetheart, he's a good boy."

"I'll try…" he whispered as she led him into the room.

"Now, I know some things about you, but why don't you tell me more."

"Like what?" he questioned as he crawled up on the bed and sat down.

"I don't know, what's your favorite color?"

"Blue," he replied grinning.

"That's John's favorite color as well, although I think hunter green comes next in line."

"What's your favorite color?" Rodney asked, as though this were a game.

"Purple. What's your birthday?"

"April 18th, 1968," Rodney answered.

"Good, now I'll know, What's your favorite movie?"

"Well…I don't have one…I used to watch…I used to watch Sound of Music with my mom," he whispered, "before she died, but dad burned the tape." Tears welled in his eyes.

"We have that movie, if you'd like to watch it sometime?"

He looked up at her, "my dad told me crying was for babies," he whimpered.

"Oh honey," she lifted him into her arm;, as though he was a small child, and held him tightly as he leaned his head against his shoulder, "don't believe that for a moment. You can cry in this house whenever you need to. It's okay, you're not a baby, we all miss our moms," she whispered as he began to sob into her shoulder.

The broken hearted child buried his face into her shoulder, sobbing his heart out. Lauren didn't speak, she just rubbed his back, hoping to bridge some sort of gap there. It didn't seem fair that such a young child could have such a broken heart. She tried to think of her Johnny like this, and couldn't imagine her little angel so lost in a world of pain and sorrow.

Lauren realized ten or twenty minutes later that Rodney's breathing had evened out, proving he had cried himself to sleep. She removed his shoes and socks, and then slipped his thin body under the covers. Pressing a kiss to his forehead she looked at him for a moment. He looked so young and innocent. She couldn't understand how anyone could justify hurting such a sweet boy.

She left the room quietly, leaving the door open a crack so some light from the hall could filter through. She was pleased to hear her son laughing with Luke in the kitchen, she sat and watched him for a moment, he was growing so fast, she felt like she had no control anymore. She missed his clinginess, although there were days when he still needed a good hug from his mom.

By nine Johnny was tucked into bed and fast asleep, Mr. Independent got ready all by himself but still wanted his dad to tuck him in once in a while. Luke never hesitated; after all he missed when his son would beg him to read another story about the airplanes.

By eleven thirty Luke had retired for the night, as always Lauren would be the last to bed, she had to make sure her family was asleep before she headed off to bed. But she was just as over protective of her family as they were of her.

She had been sitting comfortably curled up on the sofa when she heard a creek on the stairs. It wasn't loud enough to be her husband, and John usually slept through the night, which left only one option. She looked over towards the door and grinned, there stood Rodney peering around the corner.

"Hey sweetie, what's wrong?" he moved over to the couch, but looked hesitant to join her, almost waiting for her to yell at him to go back to bed. That's what his father had always done, ever since his nightmares had started many years ago. Eventually he had taught himself to wake up before the nightmare got out of control.

"It's okay, come on, you can keep me company," she offered as she patted the spot on the couch beside her. Rodney instantly climbed up beside him, curling to her side. Lauren instinctively wrapped an arm around his slim shoulders, "you okay?"

"I couldn't sleep…"

"That's okay. I baked some apple pie while you were asleep, how would you like to share a piece with me and a glass of milk?"

The boy nodded almost instantly and Lauren grinned, sure that she had a little eating machine at her side. She plopped him down on one of the bar stools and took the pie out of the fridge.

"Do you like it warmed up in the microwave?"

"Yes ma'am," he replied quietly.

Lauren watched as the boy dug into the apple pie, seemingly thrilled to have the small snack.

"So, why don't you tell me a little more about yourself?"

"Like what?" he asked, suddenly curious what she'd want to know.

"I don't know anything, tell me about anything, you said you like music, do you play?"

"I've been taking piano lessons, but my teacher told me I should stop…I have no sense of the art, just the ability to play well."

"I'm sorry."

Rodney shrugged, "It was my only escape," he muttered.

"What Rodney? What's making someone so young draw into himself so quickly?" she asked, it was the ultimate question and she wanted the answer.

"I don't know. I guess I-" he sighed. "I guess I'm still trying to figure this out," he whispered almost wisely.

"Figure what out?" she probed, hoping for something more than what he was giving her.

"This…everything…you don't even know me, you never met me, yet Elaine said you wanted to take me in…why?" he asked looking at her seriously.

She was surprised to say the least, it was the most he had said to her and he sounded almost bitter, "What do you want us to be doing?"

"I don't know, I don't care…as long…" he paused, a loss for words.

"I think you care about everything that's happened to you, I think you care more than you want to believe."

"Maybe I do, but so what, I can't do nothing bout it anyway."

"Why would you believe that?" she questioned

"Because people are going to decide what's best for me, whether I like it or not. They're gonna tell me what to do, where to live, how to act. 'Cause they always have," his reply was so nonchalant that it almost frightened her.

"So you tell me-what do you want?" she repeated.

He sighed on a big breath. "I want for none of this to have happened."

She felt so sorry for him, but tried not to show it. "Well, that's kind of hard, since what you want is impossible. We can't do that-we can't turn back the clock, however much we may want to."

"Then maybe I want to understand what's happening. I want people to tell me the truth."

"I'll tell you the truth, Rodney. You only have to ask.," it was a simple statement, but she was still surprised she was having a conversation like this with a ten year old boy.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked promptly.

"Doing what?"

"All of this—the taking me in and everything. What's in it for you?"

"Does there have to be a hidden agenda to everything?"

"There always is," he insisted. "Everybody's always looking for something, no one does anything without a reason."

"I didn't say we didn't have a reason, just that there's no hidden agenda-our reason is a simple one; we like you, we want to help you, we're able to help, so we are."

"But-why?" he repeated in an almost desperate tone.

"Why what? Why are we helping, because we can. Because we like you."

"How do you know? You've only known me four hours!"

"You can't analyze some things, Rodney, some things just are."

"No," he shook his head. "There are always reasons, always."

"Well, then maybe sometimes the reasons can't be explained."

"That's not an answer," he stated almost arrogantly.

"It's the only one I have-I'm sorry if it's not good enough for you."

"See, that's what I mean-treating me like I'm some idiot."

"I am not-I'm being honest with you. I don't know how to explain why someone likes someone else. Liking isn't something you can decide on, it just happens. Elaine came to us and told us about how you were hurting. That's what started it, I knew I wanted to help you."

"But what do you get out of it?"

"A friend-someone to talk to, maybe. And you may not realize this, but making someone else happy is a wonderful way to make yourself happy. If we can help make you happy, then we're pleased."

"Oh, I get it-you feel sorry for me." The words were bitter.

"No. I'm sorry for what's happened to you in your life, but I'm not sorry for you. You're a bright enough boy to be able to take any adversity and get over it-go on. I like you a lot, Rodney, but it's got nothing to do with pity. I fought that same fight for years of my own life."

"What do you mean?" he asked shocked.

"Look at me. What do you see? Describe me."

There was a pause. "You have raven colored hair, you're medium height, thin but not disturbingly so..." There was another pause. "You're pretty."

She smiled. "Thank you. Now do you want to know the rest of it?"

"What?"

"My mother died when I was two, my father killed himself a year later. I spent the next eight years of my life in an orphanage, very much like the one you have been in for two days. So many people who took me into their homes did pity me, until I met the Larson's, they were good honest people who cared about me for who I was. They adopted me. Four years later I met Luke, my sweet Luke he knew I was an orphan but he didn't care."

"But there's more to you than that."

"Exactly. Just like there's more to you than just being an orphan. But an orphan is what you are, however little you want to admit it. You can no more change that that I could when I was an orphan. You've got to stop caring that people know, or even think about, your being an orphan, or else that will become the only thing you are. If I were to believe everyone who tagged me as an orphan above everything, I never would have done anything. But that's no kind of life. If you decide that all you are is an orphan because that's how everyone describes you, then you'll never let yourself be more than that. You'll always attract their pity, but not their love. And you won't ever let yourself become involved, because you'll be too afraid of being hurt by them. Sure there are going to be those people who will hurt you by being insensitive. But there are lots more who will be able to get beyond the label and see the real you. Once you stop defining yourself by one word, so will everybody else."

There was a long pause, and when Rodney spoke again, there was uncertainty in his voice. "So what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that just because Elaine came to us and told us you needed a place to be, someone to love you, doesn't mean that's the only reason we wanted to take you in. You have to stop assuming that everyone only wants to pity you, or else you'll make them not even want to be around you. I want to be around you, Rodney, I want to get to know you. But I don't want to pity you. And I hope you can accept our friendship without looking for hidden motivations that aren't there. Because that will only frustrate you-and us," she said looking at the ten year old seriously.

"What if I don't get as lucky as you did?" Rodney questioned her.

"You found us didn't you?"

"Yes ma'am."

"That's the first step, we will never ever abandon you unless you no longer want to be here. You are welcome in our house any day you want Rodney, just say the word, and we'll let you free. But starting four hours ago when you walked into that house, you became a member of the Sheppard family, and nothing is going to change that."

"What if I…I want you to adopt me?"

"Then we'll do it, in a heartbeat. My adopted parents wanted me to be happy, and I wanted to make children like myself happy. That's why I became a foster parent, and that's why I would gladly become your adopted mother, if you wanted one."

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Don't be Rodney, you're young, so very young to be tortured this way. Now, I think it's time for you to go back to bed, we've got a long day ahead of us."

"You remind me a lot of my mom," Rodney whispered softly.

"Thank you, that means a lot honey," he smiled and hurried back up to his room.

Lauren watched him hurry off and shook her head, unable to believe he could be so cynical and yet so smart, he was a very smart young man. She was only about to find out how smart he really was.