Chapter 11. First Day
Most of this chapter is a flashback of the first day after Bucky and Noelle met.
When Bucky awakened in his hotel room that morning and saw the tousled blonde hair of Noelle nestled against his shoulder his first reaction was one of relief. She didn't leave at first light. It meant he likely didn't have a nightmare and must have slept through the night after what had been an incredible experience with this beautiful woman. Breathing in the essence of her hair, he closed his eyes, savouring her presence while resisting the urge to run his hand through her tresses, and indulging himself in the touching of her.
In his journey of learning to be human again he had read a lot of different self-help and psychology books, as well as writings on relationships. One of his favourites; The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate had posited that five actions would determine how a person shared love with another; compliments, quality time, gifts, acts of service and physical touch. For Bucky, he strived for a combination of all of them, but he also acknowledged a marked preference for physical touch, both giving and receiving. Considering the years of physical abuse he received, and the amount of death he inflicted using his own hands it was both an effort to rewrite the programming which conditioned him to accept the abuse, but also to counter that abuse in the form of offering gentleness instead.
During his time in Wakanda he barely had the opportunity to put it into practice before they battled Thanos, and he became one of the decimated. After his return to the United States, there were more important things to take care of, his arrest, plea deal, and court ordered therapy, a process that was almost more regressive than helpful. Getting used to living in Brooklyn again had taken much of his energy and the fast-paced world of dating left him confused at best. Moving to Delacroix and living with Sam had been a way to step back and re-evaluate how he wanted to proceed with his life. Then, with the call to restart the Avengers, it seemed that fate was bringing him back to the New York area once more, even though it was just a short visit.
Noelle sighed in her sleep, and he hesitated for a moment, his fingertips poised beside that soft hair that beckoned to him. God, he wanted to touch it, wanted to see her eyes flutter open and the intake of breath she would make when she focused on him. He fantasized about her smile, as she realized that he had kept his word, pleasuring her and pleasing her in the several rounds of lovemaking they had indulged in, while always checking in on whether any of it made her uncomfortable. For a moment, he smiled, remembering how surprised Noelle had been when he drew her a bath, putting in lavender scented epsom salts, then offering to wait in the bedroom area until she was done. Instead, she had invited him to share the tub and showed her trust by leaning back on his chest, as he used the store-bought sea sponge to gently squeeze the warm soothing waters over them.
Their conversation during that downtime was quiet and contemplative but also informative. He learned her full name, Noelle Émilie Belanger, born in Paris to a French restauranteur couple who relocated to New York when she was five. She spoke fluent French and was pleased to learn that he did as well. Although she grew up in the restaurant business, she was more interested in science and medicine, choosing to go into nursing, now working as an ER nurse. Her older brother André took over the restaurant after her parents retired and moved back to France. After telling Bucky that much she caressed his left hand.
"Tell me something that isn't generally known about you," she asked.
He watched her fingers gently play with the vibranium plates on his hand, liking her light touch on him.
"I read, a lot," he admitted. "When I was young, I read a lot of science fiction and fantasy literature. I imagined what it would be like to live long enough to see rockets, and robots. I really hoped to live long enough to ride in a flying car. Of course, I always pictured myself as an old man when I did."
"Do you feel robbed of your life?" she asked, then she squeezed his hand. "Sorry, that's kind of personal."
"It's a valid question," he said. "During the years I was not myself, I was aware of time passing but I had no idea of the year or the current events that were happening. Although memories popped up there was no sense of how long it had been since the moment actually occurred. When I got away from HYDRA, I went through a period of time feeling out of place and out of sync with everything. I was angry about never seeing my parents or sister again. Steve was the only one that looked the same. Then he left me here."
For a moment Noelle thought he was upset, and she turned to face him. When their eyes met, she saw the incredible sadness in them, so she reached out, placing her hand on his cheek, then resting her forehead against his chin. Running his right hand up her back he said nothing until she looked at him again.
"Sam became my friend and that helped but when I saw you at the club it was like the perfect moment of clarity. Without even knowing your name or anything about you, something inside of me said I had finally found my home. It's crazy and totally unrealistic but it's how I feel, Noelle. All those years I spent enduring pain have led me to you."
Noelle said nothing but stayed in his arms, while keeping her hand on his cheek until she placed it on his chest. When the water became too cold to stay in, they got out, drying themselves off before returning to the bed. The nurse part of her straightened the sheets and covers of the bed, fluffing the pillows for good measure, then she curled into Bucky, placing her hand on his chest again as she rested her head on his shoulder.
"My ex-husband cheated on me," she said, with the softest of sighs. "I got sick and found out I had a sexually transmitted disease. Devastated doesn't even begin to describe what I felt when the doctor told me that. When I confronted Mark, he just shrugged then admitted he had been seeing street prostitutes, exploring his darker fantasies. He didn't even apologize for what he passed on to me. No one knows about that, not even my best friend. The worst of it is that although I was treated, and I don't have the disease anymore it damaged my fallopian tubes. I likely won't be able to get pregnant. You should know that before we go any further."
She turned away then, leaving space between them, and huddled into herself on the other side of the bed. Gently, Bucky pulled Noelle back towards him, so her back was firmly against his chest. He kissed her shoulder, then wrapped his arms around her, feeling the tenseness slowly leave her body.
"So, trust is hard for both of us," he whispered. "I'm not sure I can be a parent, not after what I've been through. If it's not meant to be then being only with you is enough, more than enough." He pulled her hair off of her neck, kissing the spot under her ear. "When do you have to go back to work?"
"Tuesday," she said. "I took today, tomorrow and Monday off."
"Spend that time with me," he suggested. "On Tuesday morning, if you decide we don't have a future I'll go back to Louisiana and I'll never bother you again."
"I have things to do," answered Noelle. "Laundry, grocery shopping, ordinary things."
She could feel Bucky smile against her neck. "Sounds perfect. I can do ordinary." He could feel her jaw move as she smiled in response. "Is that a yes?"
"Yes," she replied.
They slept after that and she was still sleeping, as Bucky watched, still amazed that she said yes to three days with him and was still here in his bed, still not believing that he didn't have a nightmare and strike out in his usual panic.
"You're staring," she murmured, then lifted her face to him, sleepily opening her soft brown eyes and making his heart flip at how she smiled.
"Sorry," he replied, then finally caressed her hair that had enticed him for the entire time he had been awake. "I'm a morning person."
"So am I," she answered then raised her head. "What time is it?"
"About 7:30, I think. Do you want to freshen up?"
"No morning sex?" Her impish grin went straight to his core. "I won't say no."
Not one to refuse such an offer, Bucky pulled her on top of him, so he could look at her as she hovered over him. The press of her breasts into his chest as she kissed him, while her hair tickled the sensors in his prosthetic shoulder in a way that he had never felt before, all added to the pleasure he was taking from the contact between their bodies. She pulled away briefly, noticing how he looked at her at that moment.
"What?" Her eyes scanned his whole face before settling on his lips.
"You're so beautiful." He bit his lower lip for a moment, hesitating to say anything more but she kissed him softly before pulling away again. "I want to wake up next to you for the next 50 years ... longer."
"You have such a way with you," she murmured as she began kissing him again.
He proved it over the next hour, in more than one manner. When they finally both fell onto their backs, the sheets almost pulled off, the duvet askew, and their bodies both bathed in a fine sheen that made them feel like they were glowing, she looked at this man she had barely known for 12 hours, thinking that he might be right about them.
"Est-ce que tu va bien, chérie?" he gasped then repeated in English. "Are you alright?"
"Je serai," she replied, touching his hand with her fingers and intertwining them together. "I will be." She rolled onto her side, so she was facing him. "Are we crazy for thinking we have a future?"
"Totally," he smiled.
His phone buzzed and he reached for it, holding it in his hand as he read the text. A small smile creased his face, and he looked up at Noelle.
"It's Sam, asking if we want to go for breakfast." He looked at her, expectantly. "It's up to you."
"Well, I would rather have the chance to go home and change," she replied. "That dress is kind of too much for a breakfast buffet."
"We can have it in the room. Tell me what you want, and I'll order it while you shower. I think he just wants to make sure you're not toying with my heart."
There was a soft grin on his face as he said it and Noelle laughed, a sound that he wanted to hear often.
"Alright." She snuggled in close again to him, watching as he texted Sam. "He's leaving today?"
"Yeah, for Delacroix, near New Orleans," said Bucky as he sent the text and turned towards her again. "He co-owns a fishing boat and promised his sister he would be back today."
"You live there as well?"
"I sleep on their couch, although her two boys are supposed to be doubling up so I can have one of their rooms. I did live in Brooklyn after we took care of Thanos. Part of it was for legal reasons but I also thought being there would be familiar." He breathed out. "It wasn't the same."
"I can understand that," stated Noelle. "I missed Paris when we moved here but when I helped my parents move back it wasn't the place I remembered. Maybe I became too Americanized, growing up here." She kissed him, then pulled the covers back and stepped out of the bed. "I should have that shower. You can join me if you promise to be good."
"Darlin', I'm always good," he grinned. "What should I order you?"
"A cheese omelet, glass of orange juice and some yogurt, please," she answered, as she walked away from him.
He watched her as she stopped at the counter and picked up some toiletries. Despite her protestations the previous evening about being a bigger woman, he thought she was perfect. She was obviously comfortable enough in her own skin to be naked in front of him, not trying to hide or cover herself from his view. When the bathroom door closed behind her, he phoned room service, having received a text from Sam regarding his food choice and ordered breakfast for all three of them. With a delivery time of 45 minutes, he notified Sam not to be early, then put the phone down and entered the bathroom.
Noelle had put her hair up in a bun, then put a shower cap on. At that moment she was washing her face in the shower, smoothing the cleansing lotion over it and rinsing it off, with her eyes closed.
"I'm here," announced Bucky. "Just getting in behind you."
"Okay," she answered, moving closer to the wall.
She opened her eyes, looking up at him as he stepped closer to her. Without her heels she came up to his eyes.
"How tall are you?" he asked.
"5 feet, 10 inches. Tall for a woman. How tall are you?"
"6 feet even." He lowered his face to her neck and brushed his lips against it. "Perfect for each other."
"You promised to be good."
"I'm keeping that promise. Doesn't mean I can't touch you."
The grin he gave her then became very familiar to her over the next three days, as he used it often. Not that she put up much resistance, as she felt the same level of attraction to him, as he did to her. When she finally got out of there, after he left, dried himself and stepped back into the room, she was surprised to see her clothes neatly folded on the bathroom counter, along with the moisturizer he insisted she buy and the hairbrush. She could hear voices from the other side of the door, interpreting it to mean they used most of the time they had for delivery of breakfast while in the shower. It was a wonder the water didn't run cold. Quickly, she dried, put the lotion on her face and got dressed, then brushed out her hair. She came out to a table set for three. Bucky was in jeans and a T-shirt that emphasized his physique, his metal arm on full display.
"I heard voices," she said.
"Room service," replied Bucky, coming over to her. "I just texted Sam to get over here." He pulled her into his arms and once again kissed her neck before kissing her on the lips. Noticing the smile on her face he smiled back. "You don't mind, do you? I just really like how you feel in my arms."
"I don't mind. You don't mind if I eat barefoot, do you? Breakfast is meant to be eaten in a sunny room, near a window, barefoot so I can bring one foot up on the chair if I want. It's part of my Parisian upbringing."
"Tous ce que vous voulez," he replied. "Whatever you want."
A gentle knock on the door revealed Sam on the other side, carrying a suit bag and satchel-style bag. He stepped in, dropping them off on the bed, which Bucky had taken the time to straighten a bit.
"Good morning," he said, waving his hand at Noelle. "How are you?"
"I'm good," she smiled. "It's all good. Please sit."
Like the gentlemen they were, they waited for her to sit first, then sat. She noticed the pot of coffee and picked it up, offering some to Sam first, then Bucky, while she stuck with her orange juice. Bucky lifted the covers off the plates, switching his and Noelle's, and the three of them began eating. They had quite a lively conversation, with a lot of teasing between the two men, but also a lot of laughter. When Sam checked his watch and said he had to get to the airport, Bucky cleaned up the table, pushing it out to the hallway. Sam took her hand, then kissed it respectfully, before looking seriously at her.
"Il est mon ami. S'il vous plaît, ne lui faites pas de mal."
"Your French is very good. How did you know I spoke it?"
"Your friends. I care about him, and he hasn't been with many women since he got away from HYDRA." He looked back at the door, noticing Bucky was talking to someone in the hallway. "I know you've been hurt as well."
"He's lucky to have you as his friend and I wouldn't hurt him," said Noelle. "As crazy as it sounds, I think he's the man I'm supposed to be with. These next three days will help decide that."
"I'll hold you to that," he said, then he kissed her on the cheeks, French style.
"You makin' moves on my girl?" asked Bucky, striding back inside. He stood proudly next to Noelle; his hand poised just above her lower back. "I'll see you Tuesday, okay?"
"You bet," replied Sam, picking his bags up. "Have fun."
With the table taken care of Bucky packed his two bags, while Noelle put the toiletries he bought her back in the shopping bag. With a final check of everything they left the room and headed down to the lobby where Bucky checked out. They headed out to the front, where the doorman opened the door to a taxi at Bucky's nod. Sitting in the back together he grasped Noelle's hand, as she gave the driver her address.
He pulled up in front of a building in the DUMBO neighbourhood in Brooklyn. Bucky raised his eyebrows slightly, as it was a desirable area to live that was more expensive than the area he had lived in. After paying the driver he helped her out and stood at the entrance.
"This was our home," she said. "Mark was a stockbroker. Although I got the condo in the divorce, he pays the HOA fees in lieu of alimony as I didn't want him thinking I needed his money to survive. Eventually, I will sell this place and I won't take another penny of his. He owns another condo in Manhattan where he entertained his ... friends."
She took his arm, and they entered the building after the doorman opened the door, greeting Noelle. Getting out on the fourth floor she unlocked the door and stepped inside the 1-bedroom open plan apartment, allowing Bucky to close the door behind him. It was very modern in appearance, although it was homey as well, without appearing staged. It looked lived in, and he smiled, feeling very comfortable there.
"Bathroom is here, and this is the bedroom, if you want to put your bags in here," she said. "I'm going to get changed into something comfortable."
Bucky dropped his bags onto a chair in the bedroom, then went out into the living room area of the apartment, looking at the view out the window. If he looked far enough to the left, he could just see the Brooklyn Bridge. A few minutes later he could hear the soft pad of bare feet on the hardwood floor, that became muffled as Noelle walked on the rug. Then he felt her arm snake around his waist, and he turned to her, liking how she looked in blue jeans and a tunic-style top.
"I like your place," he said. "It feels comfortable."
"Mark took his ultra-modern furniture with him, and I replaced them with pieces that I liked."
She went up on her toes to kiss him as he pulled her closer into his body, liking how she molded herself to him.
"So, what ordinary thing do you have to do first?"
"I need to get my laundry started, then I usually do groceries while the first load is going," she replied, pulling away from him.
He released her with a kiss on her forehead, waiting while she put her first load into the washing machine, located in a closet in her hallway. Then she unapologetically pulled out a fold-up shopping cart from a storage area, along with some cloth shopping bags and grabbed her purse, slipped on some sandals and presented herself at the hallway to the door. On the elevator down they said nothing, but he took the cart, shifting it to his left hand. They walked to Dumbo Market, located in the area between the Brooklyn Bridge and the Manhattan Bridge. It was busy as people were out enjoying the warm day or doing their own grocery shopping. Bucky drew a few glances, apparently recognized, but no one approached them, and they were soon on their way back, with the shopping cart loaded with fresh vegetables, fruit, pasta, and assorted cuts of chicken and beef.
Back in the apartment, Noelle transferred the clothes from the washer to the dryer and started another load, while Bucky took the food out of the shopping cart, placing the items on the kitchen counter.
"That seems like a lot for a single person," he noted.
"I have a guest," she replied, putting things away, as he watched her process. "I sure hope he likes my cooking."
"I'm sure he will." He stood behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. "Perhaps he can cook something for you."
"Has he been schooled by Michelin starred chefs?" she asked, a cheeky grin on her face, that was kissed when she looked back at him. "Don't worry, I like a good cheeseburger every once in a while. There's a great diner nearby that will likely never earn a Michelin star but their burgers are to die for."
"Good to know. Now, come here. I've waited long enough."
Firmly, he turned her around, and placed his hands on her cheeks, kissing her on the lips before drawing her tightly into his arms. She held him just as closely, running her hands under his T-shirt and over his back. His body heat enveloped her, making her feel like she was baking on a sandy beach. When the kiss ended, somewhat reluctantly, Bucky gazed at her face, his blue eyes reflecting the blue skies outside. Stroking her face, Bucky placed his hand in hers and led her to the bedroom, where he began to undress them, methodically removing her top, then his T-shirt, followed by her bra, then his socks, and ending with their jeans. Gesturing to the bed, he climbed on after Noelle, caging her inside his arms before he lowered himself to kiss her. They were interrupted by the sound of a phone ringing and stopped to look at each other.
"That's mine," she said. "Ignore it."
Picking up from where they left off, they began making out again, taking the time to touch each other sensuously as things ramped up between them. The phone ringing again, interrupted them and Noelle sighed, shifting to get off the bed. Bucky took her hand.
"It could be work," she said apologetically. "Sorry."
She stepped out into the open plan area and answered the ringing cell phone.
"Oh, it's you," she said, her voice becoming coldly neutral. "What do you want, Mark? I'm kind of busy." She paused. "No, you can't come over. We're divorced. The final decree came in a month ago, the condo was officially transferred to me, and I expect to see the HOA payments continuing to be paid on my behalf." Bucky could hear her breathe out angrily. "So, what if I was? I'm supposed to stay at home and play the role of the martyred spouse? Which one of your sleazy friends was there?" Getting off the bed, Bucky came out to the doorway, leaning against it as he watched Noelle sitting on her couch, with her phone to her ear. She looked at him, trying to stay civil to the man on the other end of the line. "No, you can't. It's over and I'll never take you back."
A few seconds later she hung up and tossed the phone on the coffee table, then buried her face in her hands. Bucky sat next to her, pulling her onto his lap and cradling her as she cried. The phone rang again, and this time Bucky picked it up but didn't say anything. Instead, he just listened, putting the phone on speaker.
"Get this straight you bitch," said a man's voice. "Because of you, I lost my job. Because of you, I was made out to be some kind of psycho because I was exploring an alternative sexuality that you wanted no part of. If I want to come over to my condo and see my ex-wife, you're not going to stop me. Do you hear that, Noelle?" There was a pause as he waited for her to answer. "Noelle, answer me, you fucking bitch."
"If you come near here, you'll have me to deal with," said Bucky. "Do you hear that, Mark?"
"Who is this? Are you the guy who picked up my wife in the bar last night? You don't know who you're dealing with, Pal."
Bucky smiled slightly, looking Noelle in the eyes and nodding his head at her.
"You definitely don't know who you're dealing with," he replied. "I'm the man who's going to render you redundant. I'm the man who's going to worship Noelle like the queen she is and thank the heavens that I found her after you treated her like trash. I'm the man who made her come so many times last night that she lost count. I'm the man who knows a thousand ways to kill someone, but I wouldn't dirty my hands on a worm like you."
"Are you threatening me?" Mark was almost hysterical in his anger as Noelle looked alarmed at his tirade.
"Not at all, just stating a fact," said Bucky, calmly. "My name is Bucky Barnes. I used to be the Winter Soldier, but I don't do that anymore." There was dead silence on the other end. "You listening, Mark? Noelle isn't your possession. She's a living, breathing goddess who is much too good for slime like you, and for me too, for that matter. I just know it and accept it. Lick your wounds, pay her HOA fees like your divorce agreement detailed, and never call her again. If you do that, we're good. You come within a hundred feet of her, or call her in any way, I'll know, and we won't be good. That's not a threat ... that's a fact. You got it, Mark?" There was no sound. "I didn't hear you."
"Yeah, I got it." There was silence again. "Tell her I'm sorry and I won't bother her again."
"Good decision," replied Bucky and he ended the call, then looked at Noelle. "I'm sorry for intervening but I couldn't stand hearing him call you those names. Are we okay?"
She smiled. "Can I take you with me to shop for a car?"
Bucky laughed, with a smile so gorgeous that Noelle fell in love with him a bit more at that moment. He picked her up and carried her back to the bedroom where they remained for most of the day, alternating between making love, doing the laundry and making something to eat together.
That night Bucky woke up from a nightmare and pulled his boxers on, moving out to the living room area, lit only by reflected streetlight from outside. He looked out over the cityscape for a time until he eventually laid down on the couch. Soon, he fell asleep, curled up into a ball. Noelle woke to an empty bed about an hour later, and came out, seeing him on the couch. Gently, she draped a throw blanket over him. Then she returned to her bed, still feeling safe and secure because she knew the man in her living room had already committed to her. The idea of a relationship with Bucky wasn't an "if" anymore. It was a certainty.
--
The grey forms shifted as they absorbed the memories they had gathered from the three entities; one in this universe, two in the other. Their interactions, from the moment of their meeting in that place full of a sound, called music, had puzzled the One, at first. Unlike the first entities they took into their universe, those who initially pierced the barrier between them in an effort to lessen the One, these three entities had also intrigued them. The Barnes entity, who unknowingly shared a solid form with the Soldier, but both of them having a connection to the Noelle entity in a way that was previously unknown to the One. A thought rippled through the body of the One. Perhaps their shadow forms could be made more solid, like the duplicate form created for Barnes so that he would survive in their universe. If portions of the One could experience existence in a single form like Barnes, understanding could be possible. It might also improve communication which had been uneven and difficult so far.
"More data needed."
Yes, more data was needed, like the viewing of the small entity, Winnie. Barnes reaction to the Winnie entity had been alarming at first but the shadow form of the One who was with Barnes at that moment, cautioned against taking action against Barnes. They were close, so close to understanding what drove the inhabitants of that universe.
"What of the lost portion of the One?"
That thought spread throughout this universe, almost overwhelming the One which allowed the thought to undulate through and back again until it calmed. The lost portion had been ripped away so long ago and had likely undergone its own process of evolution in order to survive the inhospitable environment of that other universe. The presence of the solid form on Barnes in the other universe had proven that the sentient portion of the One may have survived. Despite the desire to reunite it with the main body, it might not be possible if it had evolved into a form that required a higher temperature to exist. That it was there in that other universe was certain but where exactly was unknown. More data was needed.
Author notes: Il est mon ami. S'il vous plaît, ne lui faites pas de mal. English translation from Google: He's my friend. Please don't hurt him.