Chapter 3:
Castle bristled as Alexis rolled him down the hallway. She wasn't going fast enough for his anxiety. His shattered sternum had basically screamed when he tried to use his arms in any meaningful way, he had had no choice but to relent to assistance.
Ryan's first text to Alexis had announced that Kate was out of surgery. It had taken about an hour for the next text to arrive, relaying that she was considered awake. The second text had prompted another burst of mad panic from Rick - his IV had ripped out accidentally as he had attempted to get out of his room, making it as far as the door before the nurses had stopped him, forcing him into a wheelchair. There was no negotiating; no matter how much they pushed him back, he would only settle if they allowed him to see her. All other things would have to wait, including his own recovery. If anyone needed him, they could find him in the ICU, next to his wife. His Kate.
Detectives Ryan and Esposito were both posted guard outside of the door of her room, worried and stoic expressions painting their faces, Lanie sobbing softly into Esposito's chest. Although it had been a few hours since they had arrived at the chaotic scene within the Castle's loft, neither man had had the chance to change clothes, Ryan's knees stained with blood. The sight only intensified Rick's panic. Was that Kate's blood? His own? Why wasn't anyone in the room with her? He reached for the wheels of the wheelchair himself, ratcheting up the speed and overpowering Alexis. If no one was going to tell him what happened or how she was doing, he was going to find out for himself, his own pain be damned.
Alexis struggled to direct him into Kate's room and drew back the privacy curtain, leaving him to sort through the scene on his own terms. Everything and everyone was in his way until he could get to Kate.
There she lay on the hospital bed, pale, fragile, and so small - he hated the way her normally formidable form curled into vulnerability when she was hospitalized. His own heart skipped a few beats, painfully recalling the nightmare inducing picture from only a few years ago when she had been in a similar situation. Rick forced himself to focus on the positive differences in the here and now. As before, heart monitor cords lead out of the top of her gown, the persistent beeping steady and reassuring. There were multiple IV's leading to her right side, delivering extra units of blood, pain medication, and whatever else was necessary, her left arm confined to her chest by a sling. Her bare foot peeked out from under the hospital sheet closest to him. He reached for it, the first part of her he could touch. It was cold, the type of cold and clammy that freaked him out. The chill of a dead body. Ignoring the screams of pain from his own wounds, he desperately rolled himself to the side of her bed.
"Please Kate, don't be dead!" He begged the universe. "Please….. Kate."
He launched his body forward onto hers, leading with his hands aiming for her serene face. He was bigger and taller than her, the goal being to fully engulf her in his love. Make sure she was alive. In his haphazard attempt, his hands pushed the oxygen cannula off her ears, pressing the tabs further up her nose. Ignoring the hurried and persistent beeps assaulting the quiet of the room, his thumbs rubbed circles over her cheeks, his whispers pressed into her neck prayers to whatever or whomever was responsible for keeping her alive. Under his hands her face contorted in pain, a small grunt escaping her pale pink lips.
"Ow…" her whisper required great effort through the thick black fog of the post surgical pain medication.
Rick's gratitude could be heard, muffled and mixed with the tears pooling into her neck. His fingers were tangled into her hair, the palms pressing to feel her weak heartbeat through her ears. Kate was able to tilt her head up slightly, shifting in response to the waves of perception of the large weight flopped across her sore body. The point where the bulk of his torso was pressing began to pulse in incredible pain; she was trying to recall why it might hurt there, but couldn't. All she remembered was pain and blackness. A state she had been in before.
"Ow," she repeated, a bit louder and breathier this time. Rick finally heard this one, easing himself off of her body and flopping back into his wheelchair with his own loudly pained gasp. He didn't even attempt to hide the tears streaming down his face; relief, pain, anxiety, and panic all mixed together. Kate could barely imagine what she might look like to warrant that kind of response from him. She struggled to use her tethered hand to fix the contraption prodding her face.
"Here hun. Let me help you," Rick offered, stopping her hand halfway and tenderly fixing the cannula he had tangled. These movements had prompted another round of unconscious gasps.
"You're hurt." Her voice was coming back a bit stronger, rising slightly with compassion, but still tinged with exhaustion.
"Not as bad as you apparently."
"What happened?" She tried to bring her hand up to her face again, forgetting that it was tethered, multiple IV lines emanating from the top of her hand and wrist, stretchy gauze wrapped around the area to keep everything in place. Her hand landed halfway up her chest instead, the fingers finding the pile of monitor cords. She unfortunately knew what these were for - even two plus years later, her heart was still considered a fragile thing to be watched carefully. The black fog from the pain medication edged her vision, threatening to transport her back to a different time but a similar place. The last time she was hooked up to such intense monitoring, she had pushed Rick Castle away, not wanting him to see her this vulnerable and in this much pain. But now? Now she needed him, welcoming his warm and large hands anchoring her to this reality, keeping the tunnel of panic at bay. The pain was starting to approach agonizing as she let out a resigned sigh, her other injuries tickling to make their presence known.
"Precautionary." A professional but kind voice offered from the corner of the room. Rick's hand squeezed hers hard as both turned to the familiar voice of Dr. Josh Davidson.
"Hello Kate. Castle." He nodded his greetings at each as he rubbed the sanitizer into his hands as he stepped further into her room. An older man, graying black hair announcing his experience, stepped into the room behind him, balancing a tablet under his elbow as he also ran through the sanitizer routine.
The older man spoke first, assuming an air of seniority. "Hello. I'm Dr. Quidely, this is Dr. Davidson. I was the attending surgeon that fixed you up." He pulled up a mock up of her body, digitized on the tablet held so both Kate and Rick could see, Dr. Davidson settled at the foot of the bed in a more supportive role.
"We called in Dr. Davidson - cardiothoracic surgeon- as precaution. When you came in, your heart rate and pressure struggled to stabilize." Dr. Quidely missed the blink of recognition that passed among the others in the room. It would be better for all involved to keep quiet about their relationship, keep the conflict of interests out of the conversation this time.
Both of Rick's hands wrapped tightly around Kate's free one; she hadn't realized until then that hers had been trembling.
"You received two bullet wounds," Dr. Quidely continued, "This one," he used a free hand to hover over the pile of gauze near her slinged arm, "ripped right into your right pectoral muscle and settled against the inside of your scapula. Clean surgery there. You'll have an interesting recovery, but that's not my department." He was the only one to chuckle at his attempted joke, his fingers dancing over the touchscreen, moving the focus to her torso wound.
"The left torso wound was more complicated. Tore into the stomach and spleen, with some damage to the intestines as well. The stomach and intestines stitched up easily, but we couldn't save the spleen. Bullet stopped there. Sorry." He paused to let the information sink in.
Neither Rick nor Kate was a doctor, so they just stared back at Dr. Quidely, unsure of what the information meant for her. Kate was struggling to stay awake as the pain meds began their journey further into her system.
Finally Rick spoke up, "What does that mean for her?"
"Well. She'll be on a restricted diet for a while to let the digestive system recover. Mostly the spleen runs the long term storage for the immune system, so she will be affected by common sicknesses faster and they may last longer. But long term, her body will adjust. Her immune system was already down anyway…" his voice trailed off, a look of judgment painting his face. A slight cramp like flutter moved near Kate's pelvis in response.
She was fighting to stay awake, the fingers of her slinged hand absentmindedly starting to drum closer to the heart monitor cords scratching her chest.
"And her heart?" Rick's voice was heavy with concern as he noticed her movements. She hated to admit it, but the memories from the sniper's bullet sometimes still kept her up at night. To him it was a reminder of her tremendous strength, to her, a reminder of the second worst time of her life.
It was finally Dr. Davidson's turn to speak, "The monitoring is just a precaution. Shock was causing her erratic rhythm and pressure changes. As soon as the other wounds were stabilized, everything returned to baseline."
Rick nodded, keeping Kate's hand gripped tightly as he brought his own up to wipe the tears gathering in his eyes. She would be okay. They would be okay.
As she silently fought the soothing siren call of the pain medication calling her to close her eyes and rest, her perception focused on thick gauziness between her legs, up against the underside of her pelvis. Her eyes shot open in a panic.
"There's one more thing." Dr. Quidely's voice softened. He grabbed for a nearby chair, pulling it closer to the side of her bed. The change in the pitch and emotionality of his voice caught everyone's attention and Kate's panicked face turned slightly toward him, "Did you know about your pregnancy when you were shot?"
The question hit Kate harder than she expected it to. She felt her chest tighten and her breath pull inward as her body fell in a disorientingly spinning descent off a cliff into unconsciousness. The monitor above her throbbed a fast and anxious rhythm as her eyes fluttered closed. Her head pulled back, bracing for impact and relinquishing control to the anxiety attack.
"Kate! Kate!" Castle's frantic voice temporarily broke through the chaos in her head. He was shaking her arm hard as nurses rushed in.