"Remind me again why I have ta go with ye on this mission?" Carson mumbled as he pulled on his uniform.
"Well…last time I checked you were the one who diagnosed my son and McKay's daughter with Chicken Pox…and since I never had the chicken pox, and McKay has I couldn't care for the kids, and Elizabeth doesn't have the time, and well Lauryn doesn't exactly like to be away from daddy when she's sick. Somehow doc, I think you're having more fun on this mission than McKay is with two whining sick children," grinned John as he gently patted his friend's arm.
"John, are you guys ready?" Elizabeth asked from her spot over looking the gate.
"Ready and willing," John chuckled as Carson eyed her carefully.
"Be safe," she called as the gate connected and she watched her people step through.
"Bloody insanity," muttered Carson as they stepped through on the other side.
"Relax doc, Carson this is a good learning experience for you, look at it like this, if anything were to ever happened and you had to be stranded anywhere for any amount of time, you'll know how to survive," John attempted.
"What if something happens with one of the kids…"
"Carson, relax, Rodney's a grown man who actually likes kids now. Besides it's his daughter and my son, he loves those two more than he loves…well Liz. He'll be fine."
"Aye, but kids can be fussy…"
"So can McKay," John shot in return with a playful grin.
"Ye know I hate going through the gate…"
"Carson, would you please relax, don't worry, it's a simple mission, we're just here to renegotiate our trades, and we'll be done before you know it."
"Aye…somehow those remind me of famous last words."
Teyla accompanied Carson to the hospital in the city, where he diligently spoke with the other doctors working at the hospital. He had spoken with them before, but that didn't stop Carson from being worried.
"I'm asking for you to help my son!" a voice startled everyone from their thoughts. Carson looked up from the paper work he had been looking at on some of the medical items they would need to trade.
"Mr. Hemmilen, please understand there is nothing we can do for your son," spoke one of the physicians.
"See you keep saying that, but you haven't looked at him! What if something has changed…"
"What's going on?" Carson asked the head of the hospital, Doctor Marc.
"The man yelling is Frederick Hemmilen, his son Garrison is dying…"
"What's wrong with him?"
"We don't know, that's the problem this disease the boy has is unlike anything we've ever seen…we simply do not have what it takes to treat the child…"
"YOU WILL LOOK AT MY SON!" Screamed the father as he suddenly drew out what looked like a gun.
Carson gasped when he suddenly found himself on the receiving end of the weapon, "help me or he dies!" screamed the man again.
"Carson.." Teyla began.
"Easy luv, let's not provoke the man…take it easy sir…" Carson said holding up his hands.
"SHUT UP!" the man screamed.
"Everyone relax!" Carson suddenly called, he could see people starting to move, and while he valued his own head, Carson really didn't want anyone else getting hurt. "Sir…I'm a medical doctor…" Carson began, "perhaps I can help…"
"Carson…" Teyla began again.
"Back off!" the man's gun suddenly swiveled on Teyla.
"Easy, easy lad, I said I'd help you…"
"You're coming with me," the man snatched Carson by the arm and backed out of the hospital, the gun still shaking as it circled the area.
"Of all the stupid…lame brained…moronic…." John pinched the bridge of his nose between his two fingers. They had met back at the gate five minutes ago, and Teyla had quickly explained what had transpired.
"He was simply trying to protect us John, you know how Carson is."
"Yes…I'm well aware of how Carson is, and how stupid he is…"
"He was simply trying to protect the people of this city."
"Oh that's great, meanwhile we're all sitting here wondering where and how to he's gone," John hissed.
"Are we going to go look for him?" Ronan asked.
"No…we can't, not now anyway. We need to go fill in Elizabeth…"
"What about Carson?" Teyla asked suddenly.
"We're just going to have to hope he can hold his own for awhile, let's go guys…"
Carson was trying to be nice, trying to understand what the man was going through, but being dragged by the arm through the woods was not what Carson would describe as his highlight experience off world.
"Sir…" Carson began.
Suddenly the man stopped, and turned to Carson, for a moment the doctor was scared that the father in front of him had lost interest and would simply shoot him, but instead the man shook his head, "I'm sorry…I have done wrong by the will of the ancestors…"
"I'm sorry, my name is Doctor Carson Beckett…what's yours?" Carson decided not to be angry with this man, his son was dying, and Carson had offered to go as it was.
"Frederick…"
"Hullo Frederick, don't be upset, I want to help ye, would you allow me to look at your son?"
"Many doctors have said the same thing."
"Aye…but what is one more, I'm offering Frederick, in the end when you release me or let me go, or my people find me I will make it very clear that I chose to go with ye."
"Very well…thank you," Frederick spoke.
Frederick led Carson up a small hill, just beyond it lay a small simplistic house, one that looked far behind the rest of the advanced city. Carson walked with the man, hoping that by some chance he could help this wee boy.
Frederick opened the door to the small simple cabin and placed his gun down. Carson continued to follow him, into a small bedroom where a tiny boy, perhaps no older than Johnny lay on the bed, pasty white, with deep circles under his eyes.
"Father?" whispered the boy.
"I've returned son, I brought another doctor with me…Garrison, this is my…friend Carson."
"Hullo Garrison," Carson said offering his hand to the young child, "I understand your feelin a wee bit under the weather…"
"Did Carson go temporarily insane?" Elizabeth tried not to shout as she heard what Teyla and John described to her.
"He was trying to help…"
"I think he needs to learn that First Do No Harm…also applies to himself," she mumbled. "Rodney will never forgive us if anything ever happened to Carson…"
"They're best friends…I'll never forgive myself if anything happens to him," replied John causally, unable to admit how worried he really was about this friend. "Speaking…of Rodney and Carson….how much longer until I get to see my son and brother?"
"Chicken pox is contagious for at least a weak John, sorry but you're stuck here," Elizabeth answered.
"How's Rodney doing with the kids?" Teyla questioned.
"Well…I dropped by earlier for a moment and he had just finished his shower and said he was doing well, that the kids were fast asleep, I think he's sleeping on the couch though," Elizabeth said grinning.
"Why do you say that?" John asked, he had told Rodney to put his son on the couch, the kid was small enough.
"Because Johnny and Lauryn were fast asleep in his bed," she said smiling.
"Well at least he's doing good…so what are we going to do about Carson?"
"He voluntarily went with the guy John, I'm afraid there isn't much we can do…you guys are welcome to go back to the planet and look for him, try to stay in radio contact with us and him."
"Can do."
"John," Elizabeth called before the man could make it out of the room. "Just be careful okay, Rodney would never forgive me if something happened to you too."
"Will do chief," John replied grinning.
Carson did a quick examination, looking the lad over, then he looked up at Frederick, "what are his symptoms?"
"Fever, he's always tired…he's bruising easier than he used to…"
"All right, I need to draw some of your son's blood…"
"You know what he has?" the man asked.
"I'm fairly sure, the blood test will confirm it…look sir, if I can help your son will, I promise, but…I have to see what he has first."
"Very well…how do I know you'll come back?" the man asked.
"You have my word…my mum taught me never to go back on my word."
"Good enough, when will you return?"
"Tomorrow morning, I'll bring back everything I might need to help him, but be warned, I may not be able to help him."
"Very well…"
Carson nodded, giving one last look at the small boy he headed out of the house.
John sat on the steps leading up to the Stargate, trying to pretend he wasn't worried about Atlantis' CMO, Teyla was watching out, while Ronan had gone wandering for awhile.
"Colonel…" came Teyla's surprised voice. Lifting his head from where he had leaned it against the top step he was surprised to see Carson running towards them.
"Carson!" John quickly got up and ran towards his friend, "where have you been? Are you all right?"
"Aye, I'm fine colonel, but…the man, I went with his son is dying…I promised to help him…"
"Whoa, slow down doc, what do you mean you promised to help him?"
"Colonel, I think his son is dying of Leukemia, I have a blood sample to prove it…I have to get it back to Atlantis."
"Wait…you mean you're coming back here? You're going to go back to that guy?"
"He didn't kidnap me Colonel, I voluntarily went, his son is ill, yes I'm coming back."
"Do…do you really think that's wise, the guy threatened the hospital with a gun…"
"John, if it was Johnny dying, and everyone told you he was dying but they didn't know why…then suddenly a doctor who thinks he might be able to help, or at least tell you what he has that's killing him…would you let him help you?"
"I wouldn't point a gun at people…"
"John, listen to me, this man is desperate, I've seen you desperate, I know you can understand this man on some level."
"Ronan, get back to the gate, we're going home…Teyla dial it up."
"John…"
"You sold me okay, fine you can come back, but I'm coming with you…"
"I don't think that's wise…."
"Listen to me Carson, that man could do something crazy, we don't know what he's normally like, you're going to have protection when you go back there, and it's going to be me. Besides…my son is currently sick with the chicken pox, giving me nothing to do but worry that Rodney is feeding the kid right."
"Don't worry I have all the faith in the world in that brother of yours," Carson replied as Ronan joined the group and they stepped through the wormhole.
"Good…that makes one of us."
Carson found himself standing at the door to Rodney's quarters, the blood was being run for every test imaginable, and Carson had little else to do, so after some pushing form John, Carson agreed to go see how the single father was doing with his recent charges.
"Rodney?" Carson called as he knocked lightly on the door.
He was surprised as the door slid open, instead of Rodney, Johnny stood at the door, specked with chicken pox but none worse for the wear. "Hey Johnny, how do ye feel?" Carson asked as he scooped the seven year old into his arms.
"Tired…but I couldn't sleep anymore," explained the boy.
"Well, how is your Uncle Rodney feeling?" Carson said chuckling.
"We're doing fine...which is more than I can say with you, word has it that you allowed yourself to be kidnapped…and that you're going back to help him…"
"Aye, that would be right, Rodney, I have to go."
"Right," replied Rodney as he carried his daughter over to the small table in their quarters.
"Rodney, I really came to check on all of ye…"
"Well, Johnny here seems to be bouncing right back, he was pretty quiet yesterday, but he's doing much better today. And as for this little angel, I've discovered she can be as devilish as her father," Rodney joked.
"Aye well, she spends enough time with you, she is your daughter after all."
"Here Johnny," Rodney scooped the boy up and sat him in front of the table where a bowl of soup sat with a sandwich.
"Did you cook?" Carson asked.
"Yeah, mom taught me when I was thirteen or so, tomato soup and grilled cheese…these bigger quarters are great," Rodney said grinning.
It was true, they had seen the family sized quarters awhile back, they were the six of two or three single quarters, with a small kitchen, a larger bathroom and two or three bedrooms. Rodney had moved in shortly after taking Lauryn into his care.
"Aye aren't they…wow, you didn't even burn them," grinned Carson.
"Cute, for your information I'm a decent cook."
"Aye…right," joked Carson as he sat down beside Johnny, "well at least I can tell your father you're eating something healthy."
"Carson…" Rodney said warningly.
"Sorry, just joking lad."
"Did you want to join us for dinner?"
"Ah…sure," grinned Carson as he looked at Johnny. "Ye know Rod, I could probably find someone else to take these two hooligans for a couple hours if you'd like to…I don't know, enjoy a nice dinner with Elizabeth…" smiled Carson.
"Are you volunteering?"
"Nope."
"Didn't think so, here," Rodney handed the physician a bowl of soup and a cheese sandwich.
"Thank you Rod."
Carson sighed as he looked at the results later that evening, the two children and Rodney had willingly played a board game Johnny had brought from earth for a couple hours, before Carson finally left his friends and headed back to the infirmary.
"Carson?"
Carson turned and offered a small smile to Elizabeth, she returned it sadly and joined him on the stool beside his. "Those the results?"
"Yeah…"
"And?"
"The boy is dying, from Leukemia, I can't tell what kind without a bone marrow scan, but the white blood cells speak for themselves..."
"Can you help him?"
"No," Carson said sadly.
"What are you going to do?" Elizabeth questioned.
"Take some morphine, tell the father how to administer it, and apologize for getting his hopes up."
"Carson you didn't do anything wrong…" Elizabeth began.
"Aye, perhaps not…but I offered to help…I gave a man hope that was never there to be given.
"There's no way to save him?"
"No, he's too advanced in the cancer, he will die…probably in a matter of days…if it had been caught months ago…perhaps maybe we could have done something for the boy…but no, there's nothing that can be done now."
"I'm sorry Carson," she reached out and grasped his hand.
He shook his head, as he looked down at the floor, "First do no harm…" he whispered.
"Carson…"
"Elizabeth, I'd like to stay there…until the boy dies…"
"Carson…it could…."
"Days, perhaps, I'll be fine…I brought them this far…I can't abandon them…"
"Very well, John will stay with you…"
"Thank you," he whispered gently.
She squeezed the hand she held in her's again and smiled sadly at him, "you're a good man Carson, we all love you here…"
"Aye, thank you lass." Carson said gently as he squeezed the hand in return.
"You sure about this Carson?" John asked as the two friends made their way back to the man's house.
"I don't know John, it's one of those things…I feel obligated to help…I give them the hope, then I should be there…"
"To what? Suffer along with them? Carson…"
"Aye, I know, I'm a good man…but that doesn't the lessen the fact that…I keep making stupid mistakes."
"We all make mistakes buddy, you're not the first one, and you sure won't be the last…"
"Yeah…" whispered Carson.
"oh…by the way, I hear tell from a certain Scientist that you've got a date with one of my people," grinned John.
"What?"
"You're dating Cadman?" John asked.
Carson grinned and chuckled softly, "we've been dating for a few weeks now, just casual stuff, dinner, sometimes retire to my room or her room and watch a nice movie."
"All of this behind my back, Carson I would be hurt, if it wasn't for the fact that you're the only one of the three of us who can get a date."
"Well it's not like I'm marryin' her tomorrow John, we're takin' it a might slow."
"Well good, with any luck maybe you'll be our first official couple on Atlantis."
"Perhaps…she's a lovely girl."
"I imagine," grinned John.
"What about you Teyla, I've heard rumors that you've been hanging out with her a little more often."
"Ah, well, Johnny likes her, and he's taking martial arts, so…I watch."
"Right."
"Thank you John," whispered Carson.
Smiling John clapped his friend on the shoulder and smiled, "any time Bones."
"Frederick, this is my friend Colonel John Sheppard…" Carson introduced.
"It is nice to meet you… have you discovered what is wrong with my son?"
"Ah, yes, I believe your son has a disease called Leukemia…it's when the body forms too many white blood cells…"
"Can you treat it?"
Carson looked down for a moment and sighed, "ah, perhaps if I had met you several months ago…and we were on Earth…I could have, but no. I'm sorry the doctors were right your son is going to die."
John watched the tall skinny man stand there and take the news, the man's green eyes began to well with tears. John closed his eyes against a wave of sadness, he couldn't imagine how this man felt. John didn't know what he'd do without his son, what he would do if anything ever happened to Johnny.
"How long?" struggled the man.
"Days…"
"Can…can you easy his suffering?"
"Aye, I've brought pain medication…but the best thing for him is to be with you, make sure he knows you love him…."
"Thank you…will you be staying?"
"Aye, I will do my best to keep him alive as long as I can," Carson replied.
I'm down on my knees again tonight
I'm hoping this prayer will turn out right
See, there is a boy that needs Your help
I've done all that I can do myself
His mother is tired
I'm sure You can understand
Each night, as he sleeps
She goes in to hold his hand
And she tries not to cry
As the tears fill her eyes
The next several days seemed to drag all too slow for them three men as they watched the seven year old boy slowly die of a terrible disease. Most nights Frederick spent kneeling at his son's bedside, holding the child's hand as the boy either slept or cried through the night.
Carson sighed, rubbing his haggard stubble covered face, desperately wanting to rid the tears of weakness and sadness from his eyes. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked over at John, "I don't know how you feel about God…or anyone god, but my mom always taught me to pray. Even if it means we pray for a painless, quick end, it's better than nothing," John whispered.
Reaching out Carson grasped his friend's hand and bent his head in a silent prayer, John smiled sadly and bent his own head in prayer. Maybe someone would hear them and help the father and son get through this pain.
Can You hear me
Am I getting through tonight
Can You see him
Can You make him feel alright
If You can hear me
Let me take his place somehow
See, he's not just anyone
He's my son
"Father…" came the pained whisper. Frederick looked up into the eyes of his son, he smiled sadly as he gently rubbed his fingers against the child's cheek.
"I'm here my child."
"I'm going to die aren't I?"
"Yes child, but do not fear, you will be welcomed by our God, for your kind life."
"I'm not scared father…but you shouldn't be either…I will no longer hurt," the child reached out and brushed his hand against his father's tear stained cheek.
"Oh child, I want you out of pain, but know that I am not afraid, I am sad…I will be loosing my little boy."
"Do not be sad daddy…do not cry…carry on for me," he whispered weakly.
"I will carry on for you my son," whimpered the man as he pressed a kiss to the child's pale forehead.
Sometimes late at night I watch him sleep
I dream of the boy he'd like to be
I try to be strong and see him through
But God, who he needs right now is You
Let him grow old
Live life without this fear
What would I be
Living without him here
He's so tired and he's scared
Let him know that You're there
Carson knelt beside the bed, gently grasping the frail wrist in his head, he lowered his head, and another silent prayer of thanks went out for the father who would be left. Carson lifted his blood shot eyes up to the man and nodded sadly.
The man looked down at his child, crying softly as he settled his head against the boy's chest. John looked down, rubbing his own eyes, trying to remove the tears as he grasped Carson's shoulder and squeezed.
Can You hear me
Am I getting through tonight
Can You see him
Can You make him feel alright
If You can hear me
Let me take his place somehow
See he's not just anyone
Can You hear me
Can You see him
Please don't leave him
He's my son
"Thank you…for all your help Doctor Beckett," Frederick whispered as he shook Carson's hand the next day. They had laid the child to rest behind the house.
"I'm sorry I couldn't do more," Carson replied gently shaking the outstretched hand.
"You did pleanty."
"Take care of yourself Frederick," John said also shaking the man's hand.
John and Carson stepped through the Stargate, "DADDY!" came the joyful cry. John smiled as he swooped his son up into his arms, hugging him with all the gusto he had.
"I missed you little buddy," John said as his son wrapped his arms around his father's neck and laid his head against John's shoulders.
"I missed you too daddy…Uncle Rodney says I can live with you again."
"Oh he did, did he," grinned John as he smiled at his brother.
Rodney seemed to know what he was doing when he handed Lauryn over to Carson. Carson's frown instantly turned to a smile as he hugged and pressed a kiss to the little face. "Missed you little one," Carson whispered.
"Welcome home," Elizabeth said as she joined them in the main gate area.
"Thank you ma'am," Carson replied.
"Daddy," came the soft voice, John looked up from where he was seated on the couch.
"Hey buddy, what's up?" John asked as his son moved over to his side. In one fell sweep, John lifted his son into lap and smiled for a moment.
"I couldn't sleep…"
"Any reason why?" John asked.
"Thinkin…"
"You sound like your Uncle Rodney, tell you what partner, how about I read you a bedtime story?"
"I'd like that," whispered the boy.
"Good, go get yourself a book, I'll make you some of my famous hot chocolate."
John headed into his son's room a few moments later and smiled as the child sat on the bed holding the Chronicles of Narnia. Chuckling softly he placed the cup down and lifted the boy into his arms.
John became aware no more than ten minutes later his son was fast asleep in his arms. Smiling softly, John pressed a kiss to his son's head, then rested his cheek against the boy's silky hair. "Love you buddy," whispered John as he held his son. Suddenly unable to think of a day without his son in his life, and how much he missed his daughter at times.
In another room, further down the hallway Rodney sat in a rocking chair, his daughter lying against his shoulder, sleeping soundly as he leaned his head back against the chair, also unable to think about his life without this little miracle he held in his arms.
One room over Carson Beckett sat with a glass of scotch in one hand, his arm comfortably wrapped around Laura Cadman's shoulder as she leaned against his, sipping her own scotch as they watched the movie and just enjoyed each other company.