Elizabeth sighed as she looked out the doors that led to the balcony. A lone figure stood, leaning heavily against the railing as the warm breeze blew through his normally ruffled hair. Taking a deep breath she took a step out, the doors opening then closing quickly behind her. "Didn't we discuss this already," she spoke calmly and quietly; not wishing to startle the physician.

"You discussed…I ignored," he replied callously.

Elizabeth sighed; she could tell anything she said right now would have no affect on him. He was angry, scared and frustrated, "Carson…you can't sit out here forever blaming yourself over this…"

"Why?" he suddenly whirled around to confront her, his eyes were ablaze with anger. She was taken aback by the sight of the suddenly smoldering blue eyes leveling her instantly with a cold angry look. "Why shouldn't I blame myself? In case ye didn't notice Elizabeth I pushed this whole project! It's failed hundreds of times, first back on Hoffin, then with Ellia and John…now because of me another good person is dead! How many more times will I have to screw up before ye finally get it through ye're head that I shouldn't be here!" he yelled. "Who's going to go next Elizabeth? I already almost killed John! How about ye, or Rodney…maybe Laura? Don't ye get it…I keep making the same mistakes over and over again! Ye just brush it off like it's nothin' but ye and I both know better!" he hissed.

"Carson," she began calmly

"No! I won't have this conversation with ye! Because in the end this isn't ye're fault! Just like the whole Arcturus project! It wasn't ye're fault! It was Rodney's! I screwed up, I keep screwing up, nothin' ye say is gonna make me feel better about this! So don't waste your breath," with that he turned away from her.

Elizabeth paused for a moment, taking a deep breath she tried not to take everything he had just said personally. She kept reminding herself he was just angry and tired. She reached out and gently squeezed his shoulder. She waited for him to shrug it off, stop talking to her or make her leave. Instead she felt his shoulder's sag in defeat. "Feel better now?" she said gently. He didn't reply; Elizabeth could tell he was seriously considering that question. She could only imagine what he was beginning to think; without another thought, she slipped an arm around his waist, a technique she often used when Rodney was having a rough time with something. It was also something he generally used on her now. She dropped her other hand around his waist and leaned against his shoulder.

Instantly Carson's arms wrapped around her upper body and he pulled her close…and that's when the dam broke. His head leaned against her shoulder and seconds later his exterior anger collapsed. Elizabeth's allowed her arms to slip up, circling his shoulders and gently rubbing the base of his head and his neck: trying to soothe the savage guilt that ran through him. She leaned her head against the side of his, she understood him all too well…he needed someone to blame and right now that someone had to be himself. Given time he'd either find a way to right his wrong, or he'd move past it. It would take a while, but he would move on. Learn to forgive himself; that's what it really was; he had to forgive himself before he could forgive anyone else.

"I'm here Carson," she spoke softly as his tears began to dampen her shirt. He was a few inches taller than her, but suddenly it didn't matter. She held him close while he let go of all the fear and anger possessing his mind, "It's not your fault Carson, it isn't your fault, just let it out," the mantra continued.

She smiled sadly as she thought about their relationship, everyone on Atlantis was close with a small group of other people, whether a specific team everyone. Carson had taken great care in getting to know everyone in Atlantis; he knew everyone's name…in that way he was very similar to John and Rodney. However he also got to know each person in depth, like she did. His heart was big and endless, that was perhaps his most admirable trait and his largest downfall.

Carson was anessential part of her little family on Atlantis, she couldn't quite explain it. She saw John as an older brother who wished to protect everyone, and Teyla was very similar, Elizabeth saw her as the protective older sister who tried to impart her wisdom and love on everyone, she was by far the soul of Atlantis. Then there was Rodney, Elizabeth saw her as an equal in all areas, although sometimes that created conflict when she had to treat him like an employee rather than the best friend that he really was. Ronan was different; Elizabeth still wasn't quite sure where he fit into it all. Caldwell was the over bearing brother that sometimes stuck his nose where it didn't belong and got burned. Finally there was Carson, like Rodney, she saw him as an equal, but more than that she saw him as a twin brother, someone she could always see eye to eye with on practically everything. She was his right hand man, and while she'd never tell anyone else the truth, Carson was the one she would always turn to if she had trouble with anyone else. Carson was her best friend.

She loved this man, like she loved John, Teyla, Caldwell, Rodney, and Ronan. Which meant she'd be here for him just like she was there if any of the others needed her, "Carson," she spoke in a soft and loving tone, "you need rest let's get you to your quarters, okay?" she asked gently.

"No…" he said softly, his head never leaving her shoulder, "I need people."

She nodded against his head, "how about another movie night?" she asked softly.

John had mentioned it earlier after their mission gone bad. He knew no one would be in the mood, but like always he also knew what was best for everyone, and Heightmeyer agreed that it wouldn't hurt for the group involved in this mission to allow the gaps to be filled in.

"Yeah," he murmured.

Elizabeth smiled and slid her fingers between his, gently leading him to the recreation room where John was already setting up for the night, Rodney sat in a chair they'd brought back from earth last time the Daedalus had been by. His eyes were closed, but Elizabeth could tell he was wide awake. Heightmeyer sat in a chair opposite of her friends, talking quietly in what sounded like Russian, to Zelenka. Ronan was over in the corner watching from a distance; Laura Cadman already sat at one end of the couch, her legs curled up by her side, watching John intently. Teyla sat at the other end of the couch looking between Ronan and John.

"So what's the movie tonight?" Elizabeth asked, announcing their presence. She smiled as Rodney pried his eyes open momentarily to glance at her, taking her completely in she saw a ghost of a smile cross his handsome features before he allowed his eyes to drift shut.

"Per request of Dr. Heightmeyer and the Lieutenant we'll be watching Princess Bride this evening," John replied grinning.

"Really? I love that movie," Elizabeth smiled, "I used to have every line memorized," she admitted she gently pushed Carson to the couch and moved to the floor in front of Rodney.

The movie was only a little over an hour and a half long, however by the end Elizabeth had to smile. The movie had had the affect Elizabeth and Kate had been looking for. Carson was sprawled out on the couch, his feet in Teyla's lap, having long since abandonedhis shoes. His head in Laura's lap as she gently caressed the side of his face while he slept silently, her free hand gripped one of his as though he were holding onto his only life line. Her head was leaned against the back of the couch, feet propped up on the table in front of them, her eyelids obviously growing heavy as she tried to continue watching the movie.

John lay on the floor by Teyla's legs, his head pillowed against her propped up calves, while she too tried to remain focused on the TV, but she was obviously losing the battle against awareness. Ronan was asleep in front of the TV, Elizabeth couldn't ever remember seeing him sleep, but somehow he looked like a small lion cub rather than an intimidating man everyone saw him as,he was almost cute.

Zelenka was half asleep, his head resting against the chair Kate now slept soundly in, her head leaning to the side she looked peaceful compared to earlier after the whole fiasco.

At some point towards the middle of the movie Elizabeth had joined Rodney on the over stuffed chair, and now had the drooling scientist perched on her shoulder, snoring softly. Elizabeth shook her head as she twisted to press a kiss against his forehead, unsure what it was about this adorable movie that suddenly had all of her toughest and finest men fast asleep like little babies.

Grinning, Elizabeth wasn't sure she had the strength or desire to wake any of her people, after all if she woke them she took the riskof them becominggrouchy again, and frankly she had no desire to cause deal with that. With a small grin on her face she snuggled closer to Rodney and allowed her eyes to close; either they would all wake up there tomorrow morning, or they'd all slip out off to their quarters for a comfortable nightwhen no one was awake and looking. Either way, she had no inclination to suddenly move.