She stepped out onto the balcony, crossing her arms over her chest, protecting her body from the chill of the night. The city was lit in public places, but many of the personal quarters were dark. However even the beauty of the city couldn't draw her attention away from the beautiful ring on her left finger. A grin spread across her face yet again, for the millionth time in two days. It was a beautiful ring, one large diamond sat in between two smaller rings, which were surrounded by three tiny stones etched into the ring. Rodney said it was called a past, present and future ring. Each diamond stood for one of the three. He'd also said that the three diamonds could stand for the three children they'd have some day.

They'd chosen to celebrate with their friends the night after getting engaged, instead of that night. They'd left Lauryn in Carson and Laura's care for that night, and took it all to themselves to just enjoy one another's company.

It all seemed surreal to her, unable to believe that she'd found the man she wanted to spend forever with. That he wanted to spend forever with her just as much, that he'd asked her…and that she'd said yes. She was going to be Dr. Elizabeth Weir McKay. She hadn't decided for sure if she was going to hyphen her name, or just change it all together.

She grinned, turning around she silently stepped back into the room and chuckled, Rodney lay in his bed sprawled out on his stomach, an arm dangling over the edge, the other above his head hiding under the pillow. One bare leg hung out from under the sheet. She shook her head; this was why she was marrying him. For every ounce that Rodney was rude, annoying, bad with people and sarcastic…he was sweet, gentle, kind, loving, a daunting parent, and an amazing friend. He cared about those he loved like no other.

They were going to make it official, and soon they could have their night, spend their night together without feeling any guilt or fear about it. She sighed, and slid back under the covers on her side, she was surprised, but comforted when she felt the bed shift, and felt him scoot up behind her, curling around her protectively. There was no question in her mind, Rodney loved her. She felt a kiss pressed to the back of her head then felt his breath even out.

"You know Elizabeth, it's not like the ring is going anywhere," John mumbled the next morning as she stared thoughtfully.

Elizabeth went red and grinned, John hadn't been the first to say it, and both Carson and Rodney had commented on how often she tended to look down at her ring, as though making sure it was still present on her finger. "I know," Elizabeth replied as she looked down at it one final time, before slipping her hands under the table.

Rodney grinned through his mouthful, "Let her look; just means I did a good job picking the ring."

"I guarantee you put a ring on ye're lass' finger and she'd be grinning just like Elizabeth and Laura," Carson muttered between a drink of his coffee and a bite of his bagel.

"I don't have lass…Carson," John replied blankly.

"What do you call Teyla?" returned Carson.

"A friend…" his voice trailed off, causing his three friends to roll their eyes.

"Speaking of which, where is our beautiful Athosian?" Rodney spoke up.

"She left for the mainland last night, some big harvest ceremony…felt she had to be there," replied John.

"She'll be back in a day or two, meanwhile Ronan is visiting his sister, grounding Atlantis' number one team for the next couple days, so welcome to a lovely vacation Rodney," Elizabeth explained.

"Seriously? A Vacation?"

"Yep, for you and John. Carson; however…"

"Oh Elizabeth…no," Carson began.

"I'm sorry Carson, but it'll be a quick and easy mission, all you're doing is going with Lorne's team to vaccinate a few babies. That's it, nothing complicated about it."

"Aye, nothing's ever complicated abou' it, 'til I get involved."

"Carson," Elizabeth rebuked.

The planet and its inhabitants were pleasant; however if there was one thing Carson disliked vehemently about the planet was its lack of sanitization. He'd been horrified on his first trip to this planet when he'd watched them share needles back and forth. He'd spoken to the head medical doctor of the city at the time. The man had casually explained they didn't have enough supplies to just throw things away, so they did their best to sterilize and reuse things such as needles.

Carson found him self unable to truly believe the doctor when he'd watched the man stick a needle with blood stains on it, into another man's arm to draw blood.

He sighed as he removed the small child from his lap and smiled up at Ambrose, the head doctor of the small hospital. "All done," he offered.

"Actually, we just received a transmission…there is a young child at the northern edge of town in need of vaccinations…her mother has been unable to work or move and could not bring the child in. Would you like me to show you the way?"

"Nay lad, thank you though, I'm sure I can find me way. Contact us if ye need anythin' else Ambrose," Carson shook the man's hand; he then grabbed his medical bag along with his radio and headed out of the small hospital. "Major, this is Doctor Beckett."

"Lorne here, what's up Doc?"

"I've got a patient at the northern edge of the city…I should be done with the hour."

"All right Doc, we should be done by then as well…we'll meet you back at the gate in one hour."

"Very well Major, Beckett out."

He arrived at the small shack just over twenty minutes later, he smiled softly; it was a small house, simplistic to any eye. He gently rapped on the door and waited.

A small fragile elderly woman, with pepper gray hair opened the door and smiled at him, "Tova, you must be Dr. Beckett, please come in."

Carson had to smile; he finished up inoculating the two year old boy less than ten minutes later, when he moved over to the middle aged woman who lay on a bed near by. "Hello lass, my name is Carson, what is yours?" he asked as he reached out and pressed two of his fingers to her wrist, looking at his watch.

"I am…Protoka…You are the Miracle man?" she whispered in a horse voice.

He smiled as he gently probed her throat, "Miracle man? No lass, I'm a doctor…have ye been feelin' very tired lately?"

"Yes," she whispered.

"I thought so, get some sleep lass, I'm goin' to leave some medicine with ye're mother…ye'll be good before ye know it."

"Thank you," she whispered smiling up at him.

Carson nodded, pulling the blanket back up around her shoulders, and then moved back into the main room of the small house. "Ye're daughter is suffering from a very common illness called mononucleosis, it affects people with damaged or weakened immune systems…it's a fairly simple disease, she's going to need lots of sleep and liquids…give her this medicine two times a day for one short cycle…she should be up and around in a cycle's time."

"Thank you doctor."

"Ye're welcome lass," he gave the woman a soft smile before he headed out of the small house, leaving the people behind. He was ten minutes from the house, enjoying his surroundings and taking in the beauty of the planet when he heard an audible and familiar click from behind him, a click that sounded very close to the cocking of a gun.

Carson slowly turned around, his eyes growing wide at the sight in front of him.

Major Todd Lorne stood at the gate groaning for what seemed like the hundredth time, "has anyone seen Beckett?" He didn't actually expect any of his people to answer.

Dr. Katie Brown shook her head, four weeks ago Major Lorne's scientist had been seriously injured, and Carson had put the young man on lab duty only. Placing Lorne in the position of picking a new scientist; the major had come to Katie two days later, explained the situation and that he'd be honored if she'd consider joining his team. So here she was. "We haven't heard from him," She explained slightly.

"Just great, he's fifteen minutes later, damn it, Smith, contact Atlantis…let 'em know that we're going to be a little late in getting home."

"Do you want me to tell them Dr. Beckett is missing," the black sergeant inquired.

"Not yet, don't worry them…if he doesn't show up within an hour, we'll have them send reinforcements or something."

Carson stared at the barrel of the gun, holding steady only inches away from his forehead. He felt his heart freeze in his chest, and his blood run cold.

"They say you're a medicine man…that…that you can cure people," the man stated.

Carson looked at the man for a moment, he was probably a little shorter than Zelenka, he had dark, short black hair, pulsing green eyes that were sunken in. His face was thin, pale and drawn, it was obvious he was probably dying…and from something slow and painful. Carson also could tell that he could easily take the guy…if he didn't have a gun pointed within an inch of his nose. "I don't work miracles son…I just try an' help people."

"Then you will help me!" demanded the man, the gun never waving as he thrust it forward, almost hitting Carson.

"No offense lad, but I can't help ye with a gun in me face!" growled Carson in return, daring to bite back.

The safety was immediately removed with a click, causing Carson to flinch, his eyes growing wider, "you will either cure me or kill me, and those are your only two options."

Carson looked around nervously for anyone to help, but he was on the outskirts of town, no one was around for miles. He looked back at the man, "I don't even know ye…why don't ye just put the gun down and tell me what's wrong with ye."

"I'm dying, that's what's wrong! You're from the ancient city! I've heard them talk about you, you can fix me!"

"I…" it was like trying to explain death to a young child who was looking for all the answers.

"MOVE!" ordered the man as he shoved Carson forward. He wasn't stupid; Carson understood how deadly and dangerous the situation had just become. He'd seen people die slowly in his job, some handled it with dignity and grace, taking the pain and suffering upon them as though it was just another part of life. Others had trouble dealing with the truth, and generally lashed out and snapped at everyone around them. This man was obviously the latter of the two.

He carefully moved forward, looking for some way out of the situation that wouldn't end in his blood being spilt everywhere. He cursed to himself, where were John and Rodney when he needed them.

It was a ten minute hike to the shack this man obviously inhabited. It was a piece of crap, there were holes in the roof, the windows were busted in. Carson felt panic rise, knowing if he was forced into the house, there wouldn't be an easy way of getting out.

Elizabeth stood on the balcony, leaning against on of the many railings as she stared out into the ocean. Major Lorne had reported in six hours ago, explaining they'd be one hour later. An hour later they'd reported in that they required back up to search for one Dr. Carson Beckett. Now, after three hours of searching and coming up empty handed, they'd returned to Atlantis as the night had settled on the planet. They would return the next morning to continue they're search.

"Hey…thought I'd find you out here," Rodney's voice caused her to jump slightly. She shrugged as she felt his arms loop around her waist and pull her close. She sighed as she leaned her head against his chin.

"What have I done," she whispered.

"Excuse me?" Rodney asked suddenly as he gently looked down into her eyes, "Elizabeth…you're not seriously blaming yourself for this are you?"

"Who else should I blame?" she said suddenly whirling around to face him.

"Oh for cryin' out loud Liz! You know better than anyone that bad things happen. There's no rhyme or reason to it! Carson's a strong guy, he'll be fine…we'll find him and bring him home. But even with that, he would be furious knowing you're blaming him for something you had no control over. I won't let you sit here and blame yourself over this," he reached out and encircled her in his arms again, allowing her to lean back against his chest. "This isn't your fault, and we will find him. I promise you that."

"How's Laura doing?" Elizabeth whispered softly.

"She's hangin' in there; she's a strong woman…probably why they go so well together, compliment each other. Don't worry Liz; this is just another situation we're going to over come."

"I swear, if we find him, I'll never make him do another house call in all my life," she whispered, causing Rodney to chuckle softly as he pressed a kiss to her forehead.

Carson glared at the man who had held him captive for the past twenty-four hours. He'd learned in those twenty-four hours that the man's name was Jelob, and he was suffering from a disease he'd developed over the past five years. Carson didn't really want to break it to the man what the disease really was. However, Carson was also fairly sure that Jelob was on his last leg.

"What are you staring at?"

"Nothing," replied Carson getting annoyed with the man. "How long are ye goin' to keep me here, before ye finally believe I can't help you?"

"I don't believe you," the man stated, his gun still poised at doctor. "When I was a very small child a traveler form the Ancient city came to our world…I watched him heal my mother of the very same disease just by touching her…"

"Lad, I'm not an ancient! I can't do that…believe me I'd like to so I can go home!"

"I gave you your options Doctor, either you heal me or die with me."

"Ye wanna know what ye're dying from? I'll tell you ye're dyin' from a lack of sanitation…ye're people don't sterilize the needles they stick in ye're body. Ye're dying from something that twenty or thirty hundred other people on this planet are probably dyin' from! It's called Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome! It slowly kills the immune system in your body, until you're so weak you could die of the common cold!"

"SHUT UP!" screamed the man as he cocked the gun, instantly causing Carson to clamp his mouth closed.

"You will heal me Medicine Man…or you will die."

"I can't cure you Jelob…no one could, not on this planet, not on my planet, not even on Earth could they heal you. Hundreds of people die of this disease on my planet…because we can't stop it. What makes you think I can help you? Ye're dying!"

"No," the man growled, "I won't accept it, you know how to fix me!"

"We can sit here an' argue about it all ye want lad, but it isn't going to change the outcome, ye're dying, end of story…I'm sorry this happened to ye… but I'm not the miracle ye're looking for. My guess is you've know you were dyin' for a long time now. See as I met ye back two or three months ago and ye looked terrible even then when I gave you the antibiotics for your flu."

"I'm dying a painful death…fine then…kill me, just put me out of my misery," his words slipping out as more of a beg than anything.

"I can't do that Jelob…I'm sorry."

"Why not?"

"It's not my place to take your life."

"Then you will suffer with me!"

Elizabeth stood beside Charlie, the Technician and looked down at her friends, "bring him home," she said softly looking from John to Rodney.

"We will Elizabeth," John returned as he nodded to her. He looked around, Major Lorne's team, Cadman, Ronan, Teyla and Rodney all returned his glance, "Okay everyone, we don't come home until we find our doctor. Move out."

Elizabeth watched them all disappear into the event horizon, before glancing back at Charlie and offering him a small smile, "let me know when they've returned."

"Yes ma'am."

Elizabeth stepped into her office and looked at the two year old sitting on the floor as she colored in a book from earth. Two ocean blue eyes looked up at her, and a smiled danced across the child's cherub face. "Mommy, wook!" the girl held up the book to show Elizabeth her beautiful coloring job.

Elizabeth chuckled softly, leaning down she lifted the child up into her arms, resting the girl against her hip and she moved over to the window, sighing as Lauryn laid her head against Elizabeth's shoulder.

"Mommy sad?" She asked quietly, playing with one of Elizabeth's curls.

"Mommy's a little worried right now honey," replied Elizabeth as she looked at the gate she'd just sent her best people through.

"Don't worry Mommy," the girl spoke suddenly as she sat up and looked at Elizabeth, "Unca John says onwee worry 'bout fings you can change," she explained wisely.

Elizabeth smiled as she suddenly hugged the girl close again, thanking whoever was paying attention for such a perfect little gift as this child. "Thank you Lauryn, Mommy needed that," she whispered as she cuddled the child.

"Love mommy," she whispered clearly.

"I love you too angel," Elizabeth replied, she smiled softly at the pet name they'd given her, she was an angel. Even more she was their angel, Rodney's and Elizabeth's angel.

Two more days passed by, Carson got little water and even less food. He was growing tired of this man's persistence, it was obvious that Jelob expected to either be killed or healed by Carson, neither of which Carson could do. As each day rolled by the man only grew sicker, and eviler.

His friends continued to search for him, never finding their best friend. For two days they'd been away from Atlantis, standing firm in their decision to return only when they'd found Carson. They'd radioed back to Atlantis every twelve hours with little to report and a heavy burden on his shoulders.

Carson was listening to the man's tirade again; about how he'd kill Carson unless the doctor created some miracle. That's when Carson spotted it, the gun on the table. Something in his mind just snapped as he looked at the weapon, it was very similar to earth's 9mm. Carson glared at the man's back, he wanted nothing more than to shut the man up, he was easily ten times more annoying that Rodney.

As if some primal instinct of survival of the fittest kicked in, Carson reached out and grabbed the gun, it never waved in his strong hands. He pointed it directly at Jelob.

The man turned, his bloodshot eyes met Carson's and he grinned almost wickedly, "Are you going to kill me miracle man? Have I finally broken you? Have I finally convinced you that death will free you? Go ahead Doctor, pull the trigger, deep down you'll be murdering someone. Your kidnapper; who deserves to die more than your assailant. You know you want to kill me," the man goaded.

Carson felt his stomach tighten; sweat began to roll down his face, tears filling his weary blue eyes. The gun began to shake in his hand, was it true what this man had said. Every man had a breaking point….he'd been a good man; when had everything suddenly changed. It wasn't just this distinct moment, he'd hurt people, almost killed people. His mind raced at the thought of what he had done to Michael. He'd been on his way to a Nobel Prize back on earth for his gene therapy…now he'd never practice on Earth again.

If he pulled the trigger he'd be murdering another person, and no matter how he looked at it, it would be in cold blood. If he didn't shoot this man, he'd be stuck here forever until the man died or killed himself. "Come on doctor, you know you want all of this over," the man continued.

Carson's eyes narrowed, his thumb went to the safety button: when suddenly the door burst open, Teyla, Rodney and John stood in the door way, guns drawn pointing at the man Carson held the gun to.

"Dear God, what took you so long," Carson whimpered as the gun slipped from his grip the ground where it clattered with a resounding thud.

John grabbed the dying man by the arms and hauled him out of the house, while Teyla and Rodney approached their friend, "you okay?" Rodney asked.

"No," he said faintly looking up at his best friend.

"Come, let's go home," Teyla said softly as she led Carson from the small shack.

He stepped into the infirmary and looked around; it was dark, as though someone had purposely turned the lights off to get away from everything. At least that's what he assumed. He sighed; they'd been home for all of about five hours…the first hour had been a hot shower, food and a shave. The second hour had been a short briefing, in which he had been eerily silent, only responding when a question could be answered with as few words as possible. The third hour had been the darkest hour, Carson had disappeared from view…he'd been missing every since. "Everyone's searching for you…just for the record."

He was met only with silence, but he didn't mind, he knew Carson was here. He could hear the sound of harsh breathing, sob like breathing; he could sense the man somewhere in this room. He moved forward another step, like Carson he knew this place like the back of his hand. Part of him was fairly sure that was because of all his frequent visits here. "They're pretty concerned; with reason. You've got everyone going crazy."

Once again there was no response; nodding Rodney continued to move forward, until the figure finally came into view. Huddled in a corner on the floor, knees pulled up to his chest, face buried in his arms. Rodney took a moment, trying to decide what to say to his hurting friend. He'd never really seen Carson cry…he'd only really ever seen Elizabeth and Laura cry. He didn't know how to handle a guy crying, however as much as he wanted to shy away, or get one of the girls to handle it; he was aware that Carson needed a friend, his best friend.

So with a calm breath, Rodney decided to do what he knew Carson would do for him; and he sat down right beside his best friend, drawing his own knees up to his chest, resting his elbows on his knees he watched the doctor for a moment. "I can't pretend to understand what you're feeling right now…but I can tell you I know what it feels like to have the gun in your hand…ready to fire…feeling the rush, the temptation to end it all…all your suffering and pain. I also know you're probably angry, and I can understand that too…I mean hell, you and me, we weren't meant to kill…that's not why we're here. You're a healer Carson, you know that, you're not supposed to protect people with you guns, you're supposed to heal with your hands. You faced a tough decision today…probably one of the toughest decisions you'll ever have to make. You'll never get used to it, the pain will never go way; in fact all I can give you is that with time, and trusting your friends, the possibilities of what could have, would have or should have happened will fade to a distant memory."

"I'll never be able to go home Rodney," came the weak whisper.

"Me either," murmured Rodney in reply, "none of us will…we've done some pretty bad things, we all have. We understand the feeling of guilt you're getting. We've all made mistakes…every man has his limit Carson…it wasn't something I truly believed until I came here and found myself in the hands of the Genii. You don't realize your boundaries until you're nearly pushed over the edge."

"I've aimed a gun twice, perhaps three times in my entire life time…I've never truly shot to kill anyone…I was taught how, John requires it…"

"But nothing will ever prepare you for the moment you actually consider pulling the trigger?"

"How can I practice medicine…how can I even pretend that I'm a good man…when I was ready to kill a man for driving me to the brink…I was ready to kill him…I nearly played right into his hand Rodney. He wanted to die! That was his plea everyday, fix him or kill him!"

Carson finally looked up at his friend; his face was pasty white tear tracks lining his cheeks, his eyes red and soaked. "I'm not a doctor!" he cried.

Rodney allowed his instincts to lead him, and he slowly pulled his best friend into a hug, holding the physician as the man clung to the life line and sobbed. "Yes Carson, you are a doctor; you're just scared, confused. I understand Carson…I'm here," he whispered. "For as long as you need."

It wasn't much, but it gave Carson the chance he needed to heal, to know that a friend cared deeply about him. It was something he'd been searching for the past four days. He missed home; he missed those who cared for him.