Warning: suicide attempt. A sad little chapter.
Chapter 5: Peaceful protests.
EPOV
I collected as much paper as I possibly could scribbling aimlessly on all of them
Father. I do not doubt that you love me but I am simply finished with this mortal coil. I have grown a shell of who I once was and naturally, I must descend and become the angel you always say I am.
Great. I picked up another piece.
Mother. Words can not describe how much you have improved my life, do not think of me and weep, for if I have to see that for all of eternity, I will surely grow sour and become a demon.
Stressed tears now forced their way out of my eyes. Did I really want to do this? Yes. I had no more business here, besides they deserve a bit of heartache.
Alice, Jasper, and Emmett. I have been kissed by a rose on the grey. Do not miss me, rather, loath me for all the trouble.
Rosalie. Perhaps we didn't get along in life, sister, but surely we will in the afterlife. I don't tell you enough but I do adore you.
I folded that part down and began writing on the top.
I despise you and I detest your temper. I apologize that you won't have anyone to argue with now that I am dead.
Good. Now Rosalie would be the only one who knows my true feelings about her.
Should I write anything for the servant girl?
The page of Oedipus she had been reading caught my eye and I snatched it quickly.
Bella.
"My unhappy children! I know well what need has brought you, what suffering you endure, yet sufferers though you be, there is not a single one whose suffering is as mine—each mourns himself, but my soul mourns the city, myself, and you. It is not therefore as if you came to arouse a sleeping man. No! Be certain that I have wept many tears and searched hither and thither for some remedy"
That should do.
After placing all my letters in a circle, dressed myself in a blood-red tunic and grabbed my candle and its holder.
Stop.
Keep going.
Show them.
Vengeance is not the way, Edward.
The words of myself and my family argued with me as I stormed down the hallway. I have to do this.
My steps grew lighter and lighter as I walked myself toward the end, life and vampirism alike have been worthy opponents.
Checkmate, Carlisle.
I opened the tower door with ease and continued up the old, hard stairs, my shoes clicking with every step and unneeded breath.
The city shined beautifully beneath the tower, every human in the town was sleeping peacefully now, and here I was.
Would my mother dress in something wonderful in the morning only to then have to exchange it for a mourning dress when she finds the news?
Would my brothers and sisters ask for me, grumbling about my moodiness and anger like it was a funny quirk that I just needed to get over, only then to be carrying my casket a month later?
Would my father phantom blush as he thought about my childish actions and the measures he had to take only then find he is almost completely alone in this world?
Maybe some farmer will be awake to see my grand exit. Some say the world will end in fire others in ice but I can't help but think of how beautiful it will be.
I rolled my eyes at my musings.
How is it that when presented with death one is so keen on enjoying everything? The glory of the town never interested me until this very moment and I usually could simply not give less of a thought about what the farmers saw, until now, when I felt the sudden urge to turn away from the view to spare an old man's eyes.
The candle fire flowered in my hands and I felt my bravery lessen a bit, would it hurt? Of course it would.
As I stood there deciding when to act on my most primal urge the servant girl from before entered my mind.
Would her dark eyes fill with salty human tears as she thought about me, would she wish she spoke to me more? God forbid she would think it's her fault.
Maybe we would find each other in another universe, in a faraway land where I would be open to her love, perhaps I'd be an alien or another extravagant creature and she'd love me either way or perhaps it was arrogant of me to assume her fast heartbeats and fluttery breaths had anything to do with me.
Sticky venom tears started running down my cheeks, I welcomed the burning feeling and thought about my family one last time.
"Edward," a tiny voice, not in my head, said
"Bella?" I turned to look at her, probably looking rather pathetic
"Put that down, we can talk about this... this isn't the way"
"Can't you see! This is the only way!"
She took a slow step towards me.
"Oh Oedipus," she began
"Stop this. I could hurt you"
"...Unhappy Oedipus,"
"It would be over in the blink of an eye" I yelled back, tilting the candle towards me, she didn't seem to react to this though, as she promptly continued to recite the play while attempting to close the distance between us
"...that is all I can call you," tears filled her eyes and I felt my knees go weak
"...And the last thing I shall ever call you"
When she reached me she promptly blew the candle out and I realized I had failed.
"I am sorry," I moaned
"It's all alright now" she cooed in response, her heart beating a hundred miles an hour.
And I laid in her soft embrace for what felt like lifetimes until we had both stopped crying. The disappointment weighed heavy on my shoulders- the disappointment the others probably felt and the disappointment I felt in myself, both for failing and for even trying.
I chuckled, suddenly realizing where my plan had failed. Alice.
Obviously, she saw, had she been scared? Had it taken a long time before she had figured out to ask Bella?
Sweet lovely Alice, Sweet lovely family.
I promptly stood up.
"You're okay now?" Bella asked sleepily
"I'll never be alright, my love. And don't ask why I call you that because it is painfully obvious," I sighed "We must greet the others now, calm their minds"
A/N: Hi! Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I loved writing it and I feel sort of proud of the finished project. If there is any chapter to read it's this one!
Also because I don't want any questions about why I decided to add a random bit of corporal punishment to the last chapter, I have to say that this entire story is a piece of work where I try a bit of everything, and like Edward would say: don't question me!
The next chapter will have mixed POVs so stay tuned.