Teriani Shepard is eight years old when she first dreams of space. She dreams of distant skies and uncharted lands far, far beyond her reach. She dreams and wishes she was far away on a spaceship where she could be lightyears away in a blink of an eye. Life soon teaches her that dreams are only that and nothing more. The life of an orphan is not one that she chose, but she makes the best of it. Living in the wards in New Orleans demand it. She survives by taking what she needs and running when she has to. It's tedious and monotonous, but her little cousins need her - they're not related by blood, but she would kill and die for them. They look out for each other, and despite all the dreaming and wishing, she'll never abandon them. But, still, she yearns.
She wants to fly away to the farthest reaches of the galaxy, wants to go places her imagination could have never even thought of, and most of all, she wants to be free. The stars, to Teriani Shepard, mean freedom.
Freedom is hard to come by in the lower wards of New Orleans, especially as a child orphaned years ago, given up on even longer ago than that. Teri's life is spent mostly stealing what she can, and staying at her Auntie's house whenever it's safe. Her Auntie isn't really her auntie, but that's what all the kids around call her. Auntie is the only one who will give them meals when stealing isn't really an option, and lets them stay with her for awhile, at least while her husband is gone. That man is a mean man, and all Teri wants is to beat him up. Teri's family is small, but she holds on to them as tightly as she can in her little fists and hopes it's enough.
Of course, it's never enough. One day, Teri decides to stop by Auntie's house, but the blinding lights of police cars stop her in her tracks. Her heart beats so hard she can feel it in her chest, and she runs as fast as she can to the house, shoes slapping loudly against the pavement. She sees her cousins huddled up off to the side, clutching each other like their lives depended on it. Maybe it does, Teri thinks with fear and dread chilling her blood, and quickening her breath. She sprints over to them, out of breath, body trembling. "What happened?"
All they do is shake their heads, and clutch each other harder, sobbing hysterically. Teri instinctively knows that whatever's happened, it's bad. She gives them a quick hug, and rushes over to the house. There are officers posted all around her Auntie's house, and she knows there's no way they're going to let her inside, so she puts on her best scared face - though she doesn't have to try hard, she is absolutely terrified - and tugs on the sleeve of the closest officer.
Her voice trembles and she can't even pretend like it's an act anymore, really. "E-excuse me, I'm looking for my Auntie. Can you tell me what happened?"
The officer, a nondescript looking brunette man, looks down at her, and his face tells her everything she needs to know. Her world is spiraling, but she has to know for sure. She wants this man to tell her what she already knows deep inside. Her Auntie is dead and her husband did it. It's a truth Teriani has already internalized as absolute, but she wants to hear it, needs to.
The man kneels in front of her, and gently puts his hands on her shoulders. He sighs with the weight of a thousand worlds. "Your Auntie...she's.."
He hesitates a moment longer, and a fit of anger consumes Teri. She jerks from the man's grasp. "She's dead, isn't she?! And THAT MAN did it, didn't he?! Why didn't you bastards do anything?! I'm ten years old, and I knew that he was a mean man! How did none of you grownups see this coming!" She lashes out at the man, small fists reaching for any part she can hit. The man just takes all her punches in stride, tears in his eyes, and lets her wear herself out.
She falls to her knees, chest heaving, and the man hugs her tightly, and whispers, voice thick, "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."
Sorry isn't going to bring her Auntie back, but it breaks something inside her, and her sobs renew in earnest.
When all is said and done, they take that man into custody and they tell her that her cousins will be sent into the foster system, in hopes someone will adopt them. Teri knows better than anyone what that means; she's never going to see them again. Whatever was left of her heart shatters in her chest. She loved those two like they were siblings, and to be apart for any extended period of time is soul crushing. They spend their last hours together huddled close, lost in their own world, whispering promises and reminiscing, ignoring the tears falling down all their faces.
It is time for them to go, and Teri stands there and watches them as they drive away in the cop car. She stands there until they are no longer visible. She stands there for hours after. She stands there and realizes that she is truly alone in this world.
This is the first time Teriani Shepard's world falls apart, but it is not the last.
--
She is fifteen when she gets her first tattoo. Her eyes are squeezed shut the entire time, and when it's over, she's trembling, but the guys in the gang ruffle her hair and grin widely at her, and she puffs out her chest in pride. Her back throbs like crazy, but each throb feels like family. It feels like belonging and for the first time since That Day, she feels something close to happiness. She's finally carved out a place of her own (again), and something in her heart has settled. All her life, she's fought and scraped in order to live and all she's wanted is to belong. To be loved. And this is the closest she's gotten and she wants to hold on to this little piece of earth she's stuck her feet into. So she leaves the tattoo parlor, head held high and ignores the pitying looks others in the shop send her. She grins widely as the other guys waiting outside crowd around her, congratulating her in their own raucous way, and yeah, this is home. She looks up to the sun, shining brightly on her, turning her skin golden in the light, and she feels for the first time that maybe she might be okay after all.
She's able to hold on to that peace - peace is such a funny word, all things considered - for three whole years, and there's no part of her body now that isn't marked, and she's sitting in a C-Sec prison cell, whatever's left of the gang - her family - either dead or long gone. Bad jobs happen, she knows this all too well - the scar across her chest reminds her every day - but this was an unmitigated disaster. Somebody ratted them out, and they didn't stand a chance. Anyone who could run, did, and those who couldn't, well, at least it wasn't painful. A simple in and out heist turned into a massacre and Teri vows to catch the bastard responsible one of these days, no matter what. She's so caught up in her mostly murderous thoughts, she almost misses when a man walks in the room. She lifts her head, and takes a good look at the man. He's a tall, black man dressed fully in Alliance blues - Teri will freely admit to gagging a little, she's spent too much of her life running from cops of all kinds to trust this man - and he looks at her cooly. She just stares blankly back at him, and says nothing. Anything you say can and absolutely will be used against you. It's been her mantra since she was ten years old and nothing about it has changed, so if he wants to get anything out of her, he'll have to work for it.
The man sits in front of her, sighs, and finally speaks. "Teriani Shepard. 18 years old. No parents. Grew up in the Ninth Ward in New Orleans and then decided to join a gang."
Teri smirks at him. "Didn't know I was famous enough for Alliance bigwigs to know me. Want an autograph?"
The man doesn't take the bait. "The only reason why you're not tried and sentenced already is because I asked them not to. I want to cut you a deal, Shepard."
Teriani can't help the bark of laughter that escapes her. "A deal? You think I was born yesterday?"
He leans closer, elbows on his knees, and folds his hands together. "The way I see it, you've got two options. One, rot in this prison cell for the rest of your life - if you're lucky - or come with me and join the Alliance."
Teri rolls her eyes. "So you want me to swap one prison for another."
The man just leans back again, brown eyes boring into her. It makes her uncomfortable. Like he's looking right through her and her bullshit. The truth is she doesn't actually want to go to prison - or worse - but admitting that she's scared feels like defeat. "I've had my eye on you for awhile, Shepard."
She twists her body away from the man, and scowls. "Creep."
The man rolls his eyes, and Teri grins a little and mentally pats herself on the back. Nice to know she could get some reaction out of him. "You know what I meant. You have a lot of potential, and I think we both know that you were meant for bigger things than this."
He waves his arm around the cell, and Teri's eyes can't help but follow. Claustrophobia creeps up her spine, and she can't help the way her heart beats a little faster.
Suddenly, Teriani Shepard is eight years old again and dreaming of stars and freedom and the yearning returns, fiercer than ever, and she realizes that she's once again at a crossroads. If she says no here, she may as well forget about everything she's ever dreamed of. Still, putting her life in someone else's hands isn't easy for her.
She sighs and looks at him, hands twisting in a nervous tic she hasn't been able to get rid of yet. "..So let's say I do take your offer, what happens to me then?"
The man's shoulders slump, almost like he's relieved. "Your records get expunged, and you start basic training as soon as possible. You'll be taken care of, I promise you that."
Her mind screams at her that this is obviously a trap. Good things don't happen to her, and this is way too good to be true, but she wants to trust this man, who's eyes haven't lied to her and who hasn't treated her like she was some sort of disease to be purged. She reaches back in her memory and recalls her Auntie, her cousins, and she thinks how they would all want her to do this, how proud her Auntie would be, and how her cousins would think she was the coolest person to ever exist. Her heart pangs at the memory of them and tears threaten to fall, but she doesn't let them. She lets out a shaky breath. "Okay."
She meets his gaze head on, and as he smiles softly at her, Teriani can feel her world shift, yet again.
He gets up to leave the room and Teri calls out to him. "Hey, I never got your name. If I'm gonna be imprisoned, I should at least know who did it."
He huffs out a laugh, and Teri gives him a small grin in return. "Name's Anderson. David Anderson." He leaves the room, and Teri slouches against the wall, a myriad of emotions running through her. "Anderson, huh?" She lets a small smile grace her face and dares to let herself hope.