Chapter 3: Longing

"You're going to work today?"

Tomoka watched Sakuno fix her hair into braids. They had just finished with tennis practices and were done for the day. It was not long ago since Sakuno nearly collapsed in class resulting in her absence from work. It was also the reason why Sakuno pushed herself to go today. It would be troublesome for the restaurant if she's not there to help. Of course, more than the salary, she's the kind of girl who worries about other people more than herself. Being with the staff for more than three months really made her closer to them. Although only her, the manage, and Atsushi were the only staff there. And since she's resuming work again, she hadn't walked with Ryoma home lately. Sakuno figured he would suspect something, but her gut feeling told her that the prince couldn't care less. Besides, it's almost graduation and everyone is busy with college entrance exams, even a genius like him. Sometimes, in the middle of the night when she goes to the bathroom, Sakuno would catch a glimpse of him in his room, studying. She dared not to disturb him.

"Sakuno, wait. Take this," her best friend handed her a red notebook. It was quite thick. Sakuno took it and examined the cover. There were illustrations of cartoon and some written words.

We love you!

Go for it!

Goodluck!

She would have cried if not for the ugly drawings there. She figured Horio did the chicken, and the others were just ridiculous, she chuckled.

"We all made these notes for you. Exams are just around the corner," Tomoka smiled. It touched Sakuno's heart that the entire class came to help her. They must have noticed that she rarely had any time to study.

"You all did this? Thank you so much..." she flashed Tomoka a genuine smile, her heart feeling full. She even felt a few tears almost falling from her eyes.

"Not all of us, though. Ryoma-sama didn't write in it," she saw Sakuno's expression drop a little, but she followed up her statement, "but who knows, maybe he's doing something different for you!" she grinned. Her best friend has always been a teaser.

Sakuno sighed. That's just not possible. He's too busy to trouble himself with her but she didn't mind it. Ryoma has helped her in more ways than one, and that was enough for her.

Tomoka and Sakuno walked out of the classroom happily and they parted ways from the school gate. She started to head to the restaurant. Tomoka went home to study and to watch her siblings, too.

Sakuno looked up at the sunset. It was beautiful. She wondered if grandma could see it, too. It's been a while since she died but Sakuno still feels like it was yesterday. She never visited their house ever since, because she knew if she did, she would cry her eyes out and she needed to be busy to fill the void. Up to this day, she had not unpacked their photo albums, only her clothes and books. It will only distract her.

"What are you reading?" Atsushi asked her while they were taking a break on one of the dining tables. Sakuno looked up when she heard the boy's gentle voicce.

"Oh, I'm studying for finals," she smiled. The boy was surprised. In the past months that they worked together, nobody asked Sakuno's background. Mr. Arata was quite shocked to learn that she was still a student, as well.

"You're a senior? Wow, I never would've guessed, since you're already working. But wouldn't you like to study college? Don't be like this other brat here, who never studied!" the older man sneered at Atsushi. She learned that after high school, he started working here by his father's recommendation to Mr. Arata. Sakuno chuckled. She didn't feel the need to share that part of her life yet. But since they were like family to her now, it wouldn't hurt to tell them a little bit about her.

"Well, I was supposed to go to college, but my priorities changed after my grandmother died. She was my only relative. So, I'm going to start a new life again and hope to be independent," she shared shyly. It was the first time they talked like this.

Normally, the restaurant was jampacked but tonight was different. Mr. Arata wondered if business is going bad.

"Trust me, it's better to do what you want than what society tells you to," the young man smiled at her. Sakuno nodded. It was true. Everybody has been telling her to pursue her dream, but the reality is she cannot do it anymore. She wanted to focus on just surviving, nothing else. And talking to people with different opinions really cleared up her mind.

Their chat was longer than what Sakuno expected. It was already snowing outside since it's almost Christmas. She mentally noted that she would need to be extra careful on the way home since she's such a clutz.

The three shared their own stories. Sakuno shared about her grandmother's death but left out the part where she's living with her classmate and his family. They even learned that Sakuno was a person who's easily lost and has poor directional skills. It was a bit embarrassing, but Sakuno confessed that about herself. It only made the two men worried about her.

"How about Atsushi walk you home, then? We're all wrapped up here, anyway," Mr. Arata proposed. Knowing that she's now alone with no relatives, he felt it was his responsibility to watch over Sakuno. But the girl immediately refused, thinking that it will trouble Atsushi even after work. She managed to do it by herself during these past months, after all.

"I don't mind, boss," he smiled. This made Mr. Arata look happy. As for Sakuno, it took her five seconds to realize what Atsushi said.

"There you go, Sakuno-chan," Mr. Arata gestured a thumbs up to the girl.

"Wait, what are you talking about, Atsushi-kun?" she waved her hands to emphasize her refusing the offer.

"It's fine, Sakuno-chan. As your employer and him being your co-worker, it's our responsibility to make sure you're okay," the old man said as he started to compute today's sales.

"You see, Atsushi-kun-" she was cut off by the younger man who was already at the door, holding his own jacket. He flashed a smile much like Fuji-senpai's, Sakuno saw. There's just no way out of these types of people.

Sakuno nervously stepped out of the restaurant wearing a thick jacket and scarf. Atsushi followed behind her. The snow kept falling so he covered Sakuno's head with both his hands. He was taller than her, and probably taller than Ryoma, too, Sakuno thought. She muttered 'thanks' as the boy simply smiled. He really does remind her of Fuji-senpai.

"Good, it's not a snowstorm," he looked around and saw nothing but a deserted street. A couple of lights gleamed on the snow-covered cars. Sakuno sighed. It's uncomfortable for her to be treated like this by the opposite sex.

"Atsushi-kun, you don't have to go with me. I can handle myself,"

"No, no. Mr. Arata will kick my ass if I don't do as he says. Besides, it's snowing so it's more dangerous than the previous nights," he said in a comforting voice. Sakuno blushed at the boy's warm smile. He really does sound like Fuji-senpai, smile and everything.

Well, if he insists...

The two co-workers walked side by side along the snowy street. Meanwhile, a boy dressed in thin sweater and jeans stood behind the lamp post a few meters away from the restaurant, his white cap covered in snow. Echizen Ryoma didn't anticipate the snowfall tonight, nor did he expect that Sakuno will have company, either. He shoved his frozen hands harder in his jeans' pocket and wiggled his head for the snow to fall.

When the Echizen house was finally in sight, Sakuno stopped walking and faced Atsushi.

"Thank you for walking me home, Atsushi-kun. Please be careful on the way home," she bowed in gratitude. The boy smiled at her and nodded.

"I've actually been meaning to tell you something, Sakuno-chan. We're going to have a party on Christmas eve. You have to come, otherwise it's just two men having a drinking party in a deserted restaurant," he chuckled. Sakuno blinked. She doesn't mind going, but if she remembered correctly, it was the prince's birthday. She weighed in her mind what was more important.

Why would I even think about it? Of course, Ryoma-kun is more important!

"I'm sorry, Atsushi-kun. I don't think I can make it," she gently refused. They stood outside the Echizen residence as the guy looked at her with curious eyes.

"Are you busy that day? Is it a special occasion?" he asked. Sakuno nodded.

"It's a... friend's birthday," hearing this, Atsushi frantically waved his hand in front of her as he felt selfish. He should've led with the question if she had nothing to do on that day.

"I'm sorry for asking so selfishly, Sakuno-chan! It's okay. You don't have to go," he nervously laughed, feeling embarrassed. The girl nodded awkwardly. Refusing people has not been easy for her but growing up, she's learned to say no if the occasion calls for it. After all, she really wanted to do something for Ryoma's birthday after all the things he did for her.

"Well, then," Atsushi looked up and admired the enormous house in front of them, "so, you live here." he said with an exhale. Atsushi admired the two-storey house with an enormous gate. It looked big and fancy outside. He wondered who Sakuno was living with. Other relatives, perhaps.

"Yes... well then, I'm going inside," she smiled and bowed to him as a sign to end the night. The boy waved his hand and started to walk back to the restaurant's direction. He lives near there, after all.

When Sakuno entered the house, Rinko greeted her as usual. Nanako is seen by the kitchen, cooking dinner. Nanjirou is probably outside by the bell, Sakuno guessed. But one more resident is missing.

"Um, Aunt Rinko. Is Ryoma-kun home?" she inquired as she took off her shoes.

"Strangely, he's been going home late these days. I do hope everything's alright with your studies. It seems that both of you are spending time in the school library often. As worried as I am, I'm proud of my two hardworking children," she smiled.

That's true, Rinko has been treating Sakuno like she has always been her daughter, and the girl has nothing but gratitude and comfort. But, since it has been a given that she liked Ryoma ever since their freshman year, she felt downhearted at the same time. Sakuno had long pushed that pursuing-her-crush at the back of her mind when grandmother died. Priorities change as you grow up, she thought. Those were ideas that Tomoka fed her mind, and for the longest time, she actually held on to hope. But those were childish things, they were going to be young adults soon and relationships should be the least of their priorities. And most importantly, having been devoted to tennis his whole life, she knew that she would never have a chance with him.

So, accepting that they're almost like siblings now is the best she could do. At least, Ryoma would still be connected with her life.

It was Sakuno's day off at the restaurant. It meant that she could walk home with the prince, if he's not too busy. So, she quickly gathered her things and shoved it into her bag. She ran to the courts to search for him. She felt excited to hand him the Ponta that she bought from the nearby vending machine. It felt like she hadn't seen the boy for so long that she couldn't help but be nervous. What would they talk about? What should she say?

She was nervous but she didn't care. She missed Ryoma's presence. They hardly ever see each other at home, both of them seemed like they're avoiding each other due to work and studies. Whenever she's home, he would be out. When she's at work, she would hear from Rinko that Ryoma's already asleep in his room.

They rarely go to school together anymore. It was a given that Sakuno always gets up early, but it's a shocking thing that Ryoma has started to get up earlier and go to practice.

It made her a little sad that maybe Ryoma felt sorry for her that he took the time to help her cope with her grandmother's death. And now that things are looking up for her, the boy must have thought that he didn't need to be there for her anymore. It was reasonable. She's just a classmate that happens to live with him. He probably felt the responsibility to take care of her in the meantime. And maybe it was over, Sakuno's smile faded. She was beyond thankful for that, and she's not supposed to ask for more.

Anyway, as a thanks, she wanted to be there for him, too. Like giving this Ponta that rested in her pocket, and to keep him company on the way home. Studying must have been wearing him out.

When she arrived, Sakuno found the courts to be deserted. She thought now that Nationals was over, there will be no club activities. But she clearly remembered that Ryoma would always practice here even though there's no match.

A boy who was returning the cart of tennis balls to the equipment room noticed her and asked what she's up to.

"I-I'm looking for Ryoma- I mean Echizen-kun," she answered. She probably shouldn't address him too familiarly.

"Oh, senpai went home already," the boy said.

"A-Ah, okay. Thank you," she said, her good mood fading out of her. The boy only shrugged and continued on his work.

With a disappointed look, she held out the grape Ponta and sighed. It was bad timing, that's all. She figured Ryoma got used to the fact that she's always disappeared right after class that he didn't feel the need to wait for her. Of course, he's got other things to do instead of babysitting a girl like her. Even though she hadn't mentioned to the Echizen family that she's actually been working at night, he never questioned her whereabouts.

That's fine because she's not significant to him.

Sakuno started the walk home alone while she watched the sun set.

It was midnight and she couldn't sleep. They will be having their finals next week and it will determine if they graduate or not. Sakuno has been pulling an all nighter almost every day. Her books were scattered in her desk, and countless papers thrown here and there. She was having a hard time with math and knew that if she can't pass this, she will have to repeat one more year. Sakuno can't afford to do that. She's got her plan ahead of her.

Feeling her throat dry, she stood up and quietly opened her door to get a glass of water downstairs. Carefully stepping out to not cause a sound, she spotted Ryoma's door slightly opened. The lights were on and there was faint music coming from inside. She tiptoed towards the door and took a peek.

Ryoma is sitting in front of his desk, seemingly doing what she was doing, too. Thick books on the desk, papers everywhere, and a cup of coffee sat on the side. She watched him yawn as he continued to scribble something on his notebook. She giggled. Sakuno never imagined Ryoma was this hardworking at home. He usually exhibited a genius image in school. But now, he's slumped in his desk, wearing a simple shirt and grey sweatpants, completely absorbed in his studies.

She took the time to stare at him with longing in her eyes that she didn't notice that her reflection is on the window and Ryoma stared at it. The boy turned around and startled her.

"Ryuzaki?" he said with a surprised look. Sakuno jumped from his sudden movement.

"O-Oh, Ryoma-kun! I'm sorry for peeking!" she whispered as to not awaken the other members of the family.

"Did you need something?" he stood up from his seat and was about to approach her, but she stepped back. Ryoma took a long look at her. Dressed in her nightgown and bunny slippers, and her long, brown hair free from those pigtails, the boy marveled at how different the girl looks like at night. But her hair is too long, he thought.

"N-Nothing! I was just about to grab a glass of water downstairs. Do you want one as well?"

"No, thanks," he cocked his head on his cup of coffee, "I'm all set."

"Well, then... goodnight, Ryoma-kun..." she slowly closed the prince's door and heard the doorknob click. She stood there as she waited for her heart to regulate its beat. She sighed and closed her eyes. Sakuno thought if the boy would not mind if she asked him why he wasn't by the courts that afternoon. But Ryoma would probably think she'd be meddling on his schedule too much.

In his room, Ryoma sighed and stretched his arms upward. The finals will be held in a few months. Soon after, they're going to graduate and that means he'll be going away to participate professionally in the tennis world. He's leaving for good. His parents' plan was to get him to move to America and attend a university there while going pro. It has been his father's dream for him, and he thought of it as the normal route to go. His mother never asked what he wanted. After all, he didn't know what he wanted or where he wants to go from here. All his life, his family knew what was best for him, so he never questioned it. All he wanted was to be the best and defeat his father. Then, he will conquer Grand slams, etc., which meant he'll be living in America forever.

He'll never see his friends again.

Ryoma gulped the remaining of his coffee and stood up to return the cup downstairs. He opened his door and was greeted by a can of Ponta standing in front of him. He crouched down and examined the can.

"What's this for?" he muttered. As he rotated the can, a sticky note was attached on it and as he read it, he smiled. Probably the sincerest smile he can do.

I wish you success all the way, Ryoma-kun.

To be continued.