Chapter 19: Departure

He sat inside a van with the rest of the members. They were currently outside a television studio to be guests at a morning show. He wore a black coat, a simple white shirt inside that was tucked into his trousers, and leather shoes. His hair was combed into a simple neat look.

He looked ready for a public appearance, but his mind was elsewhere.

Ryoma browses the internet for something to give to Sakuno for her birthday in six days. He lazily swiped on his phone, eyeing different kinds of items that women would usually want. He obviously has no idea what women want but he found a tab that was apparently dedicated to female selection, so he was at least on the right track. He saw luxury bags, high heeled shoes, jewelry, and even makeup. But he knew Sakuno was never one to rave about those things. So, Ryoma was in a pinch. He wanted to give his gift to Sakuno before he left for Rio. So far, he's not doing an efficient job.

They entered the studio shortly and were welcomed by well-known news anchors that they only saw on TV. Ryoma, having no idea who they were, only bowed and shook their hands in greeting. When the show started, the five of them were seated around a round table, the setting made it seem like they were in a living room.

"Now my next question is for Ryoma Echizen-sama," he flinched at the sudden mention of his name. He wasn't listening at all, and now all of the attention was on him and he never felt cornered before.

"Yes…" he muttered. He grew uncomfortable with how the host was grinning at him.

"Countless rumors and photos showed that you and Honoka-chan have been getting along quite well. What kind of relationship do you two have?"

Huh? Why was he being asked about her? He was taken aback by the sudden question about the girl whom he saw as insignificant if not for tennis.

He turned his head to Honoka, who was sitting beside him. He never noticed that she was there, wearing a short and rather revealing red dress which accentuated her body. Honoka blushed at his gaze, she felt like he was observing every bit of her, and it made her excited.

"We're teammates," he told the truth.

"Really? What do you think of her?" the host pried on. Ryoma took a moment to really think about his view on the girl.

Honoka is annoying.

That's it.

But she's good at tennis, a way better doubles partner than Momo-senpai, and… hmmm… that's it.

"She's the first girl I've met that is good at tennis," he nodded at his own response. It satisfied him because that's the truth. Ever since their victory in doubles, Ryoma had witnessed Honoka's true tennis and it amused him. He decided that she has a unique tennis style that not many girls had displayed.

"She's quite amazing," He added, looking directly at the girl. Honoka smiled shyly at him before nudging his shoulder. Ryoma raised his eyebrow with her reaction. He felt that he's the only one who didn't understand the whole interview.

The audience clapped and hollered. Ryoma had no idea why, but the people seemed to be overjoyed over the two of them. Was it something he said? Anyway, he's always been blunt and never lied. So, there.

"Alright, now on to Brian…" the host's voice trailed off as Ryoma switched his mind back to thinking about what gift would be perfect for Sakuno on her eighteenth birthday.

That night, Ryoma thought he would drop by the house before he returned to the quarters. He silently entered the house at twelve in the morning. He was greeted by the pitch-black house. He struggled to wave his hands in front of him to find the light switch, but he could never remember where it was, he didn't bother to wear slippers and just used his feet to find the stairs.

When he finally reached the second floor, he stood in front of Sakuno's room. Light seeped underneath her door, and Ryoma knew that she was still awake. His hand rummaged inside his bag and felt the small rectangle box inside. He planned to give his present to Sakuno before he flies to Brazil and tell her that he won't be coming back for a while.

Ryoma knocked three times on her door.

"Auntie?" she asked.

"It's me," he exhaled, preparing to see Sakuno again after a while. He missed hanging out with her and this small time that he could give her was all he needed to recharge.

The door slowly opened, revealing the girl that he sought. She looked even more beautiful in his eyes. The way her bare face reddened at the sight of him, the way her brown hair fell on her back like a waterfall, and how her pink pajama perfectly hugged her petite body.

"Ryoma-kun…" Her eyes widened. She never expected that he would be coming home at this hour, and that he would be going straight to her. She knew because he was still wearing his coat and bag.

He stepped into her room and closed the door behind him. He dropped his bag on the floor and took off his coat. Sakuno watched him move, all the while feeling tense at his sudden appearance.

Ryoma laid his coat by her desk chair, and he proceeded to approach Sakuno. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pressing her body up against his, making Sakuno tip toe. She couldn't help but clutch on his shirt, her face landing on his chest. Sakuno could feel Ryoma's heartbeat, and she felt his breath on her neck.

"W-What's wrong?" she whispered. It's not every day that the boy would drop by her room and just silently hug her for no reason. She wondered if there was something bothering him.

"Nothing," he said. He tightened his arms around her small waist, feeling her soft skin to her bones. He missed her terribly and he wanted to tell her, at least in his actions.

He will leave tomorrow and that means they're not going to see each other anymore. He's not sure if Sakuno even cares but what the hell, he does.

"Ryoma-kun. Why are you here? Aren't you staying in your quarters?" Sakuno tried to escape his arms, but he didn't budge. She couldn't speak properly, but she admits that this is way better than being able to breathe properly.

"I just…" he trailed off. He wanted to say how much he missed her, and how much he wanted to go home every day and see her blushing face whenever he teases her, to hear her voice stutter when she calls his name, to see her smile whenever she's happy. Ryoma missed all of those things and right now, in his limited time before he needs to go back, he wants to experience all of those things, just to have something to take with him when he leaves.

Sakuno frowned. She wonders if she should talk to him about it. These days, she has been feeling upset with all of the things around him and Honoka.

Sakuno forcefully removed Ryoma's arms from her and sat on her bed. Her heart throbbed loudly as she prepared herself to do the one thing she's been thinking about. She will have to address her feelings, and end whatever it is between them.

She had made up her mind to let go of him.

Ryoma followed suit and sat beside her, waiting for her to say something. He scanned the room and noticed very few girly things decorated the place. She really is different from the other girls, he thought.

"So… how have you been?" He initiated the conversation. Sakuno nodded.

"I'm fine," she lied. She has been deep in thought every day that she hasn't focused on finals at all.

"That's good," he offered a small smile. He stifled a yawn, now that the exhaustion is coming back to him. He doesn't want her to know that he's fighting off sleep to spend time with her.

"Ryoma-kun, I have something to tell you."

"What is it?" He looked at her serious expression, waiting for her words intently. He doesn't know why but he felt that there's something wrong with her.

"I can't be with you."

He blinked.

"What?" he sat properly and cocked his head to the side, studying her face. She refused to look him in the eyes, as she continued.

"Think about it. When you go pro, I won't be able to support you anymore. Other than that, people will talk. They will wonder why you chose me. I'll ruin your life," she fought the urge to cry. Not yet at least. She can't cry in front of him.

"What are you babbling about?" he realizes how he was holding his breath, as if that would stop her from saying all of that nonsense.

"Ryoma-kun, this something… if something is between us, it's nonsense to keep going." She sniffed. "We're both leaving, it's illogical to continue."

He was quite surprised with her reason. Sakuno knew that she was being brutal right now, but he needed to know everything that's been pent up in her mind. As if the damn videos weren't enough to torment her every day, with her classmates watching it like it was part of their routine, she would actually watch a live interview of them. Sakuno would have been prepared to swallow the pain when Ryoma and Honoka were seated with each other like it had been planned.

The most painful thing she had ever heard was the statement that he said about Honoka.

"She's the first girl I've met that is good at tennis. She's quite amazing."

A tennis player like Ryoma would obviously be attracted to an equally talented female player like him. Honoka is very beautiful, much to Sakuno's dismay. She admits that the girl is desirable in every way. Paparazzi would flock all over her for a single statement.

She's not blind. Compared to Honoka, Sakuno looked tiny. Her thin body and dull hair, her ordinary face doesn't look that inviting. She wants Ryoma to find his own place with his kind of people, not her.

"I know that I'm bad at tennis. I can't bend my knees, my hair's too long, and I have no real achievements."

"Hey, I meant those things as a joke," his voice got a little hard for his own good. He felt a bit annoyed that Sakuno would try to resurface those old issues to him. Did she hold a grudge against him all this time?

Before he could continue, Sakuno spoke again.

"I'm not amazing like Honoka."

It was like Ryoma was playing Tetris in his head and suddenly all the pieces were perfectly combining together. He seemed to have that epiphany of figuring out Sakuno. His mouth formed an 'O' and his anger deflated. It didn't even cross his mind that Sakuno would watch that crap of a show.

"I'm sorry. I didn't think much when I said that," He knew that Sakuno was feeling fragile about the fact that he had praised Honoka's skills but would consistently make fun of Sakuno when she's playing. Ryoma felt so bad that he wanted to hit himself. He was frustrated because he doesn't know how to comfort a girl, let alone apologize sincerely to someone.

"These past few days, I've endured a little bit more than what you may have known. But this… I can't go on. I'm supposed to leave in a few months. I'd like it if we just stop to spare my heart from heartache. You deserve someone who can support you in everything. You can't reach your dreams with an ordinary person like me."

Ryoma could feel his blood rise from her statement. It was the first time he ever felt annoyed at her. She doesn't have the right to tell him who he can and can't see. Those reasons were not enough for him to understand.

Sakuno was about to stand up, but Ryoma grabbed her wrist.

"Wait, Sakuno."

She shuddered at how Ryoma said her name in such a cold way. She fought the urge to face him, since she's supposed to run away now. That's what she planned to do.

"I can't accept that reason. It's too shallow," he sighed. He felt trapped in his own world. He knew that the solution would be to stay away from Honoka. But how could he do that when they're set to go to Brazil together? Honoka is a valuable teammate even if she's annoying. He didn't know what to do in this kind of situation.

After all, this is the first time he's loved someone.

"Shallow?" Sakuno could feel herself growing angrier and angrier. It's the first time she ever felt mad at Ryoma in six years. He called her reason shallow. The immense anger that she felt clouded her brain completely, and she couldn't stop her mouth from saying something that she completely disagreed with.

"We can't see each other anymore."

"Why not?" Ryoma was having a hard time processing everything that she's saying. It felt like Sakuno is different now.

"Because… I can't do this anymore," she closed her eyes, remembering the pain she felt whenever the people would talk behind her back, saying she's undeserving of being Ryoma's girlfriend, and how ugly she was compared to Honoka, how she sucked at tennis unlike Honoka. All of her insecurities were being used against her and she couldn't do anything to stop them. She felt helpless.

"Why…?" She could sense the sadness in his voice. Rip it like a band-aid, Sakuno thought. She needed to do this if she wanted to be at peace.

"I don't like you."

She blurted out, wiggling her wrist from his grasp almost violently. She didn't attempt to turn around and see his reaction.

Her words haunted his mind. He doesn't know how to process that information in his brain, and he doesn't know how to react. His hands remained on his lap, and his discarded bag laid on the floor. His muscles throbbed from exhaustion, and his head began to hurt again. Ryoma stared at her back after dropping the bomb on him. He realized how much of an idiot he was for running after a girl who was not entirely interested in him. He felt too full of himself to think that anyone could easily like him. He thought Sakuno liked him so much that he didn't even second guess her feelings. He couldn't help but recall all that happened between them.

The late-night walks from the restaurant, how he rescued her from the terror Mr. Takahashi when she dozed off in class, how he watched her work hard in her job, how they spent time in a Cat Cafe and the beach, and when he got upset with her because she didn't want to tell people that they were friends. That hurt a lot, the mere thought of being friends with him seemed absurd to her, and now this. She had just told him that she didn't feel the same way.

Ryoma felt like a big idiot, pushing himself to a girl mindlessly. He chuckled at the thought.

However, he understood Sakuno. How could she endure being with someone like him? When he goes pro, there will only be a million more interviews, and less time that she would ever spend with him. In his mind, he actually thinks that she made a good point. He had no idea what she went through during the times he's away, and how sad and alone she must have been.

Sakuno chose to protect herself rather than follow him blindly in a world where he's always in the spotlight. Ryoma wants her to be happy, but if she can't find happiness with him anymore, then he will let go of the idea that they might just end up together.

After all, she never said she liked him.

"I see… I'm so sorry for everything."

Ryoma stood up, the mattress making a small creak sound, he grabbed his bag, and he silently exited the room with a bruised ego and a shattered heart.

Tomoka felt Deja vu. Ryoma Echizen has just called her at four in the morning. She almost forgot that he knew her home phone number, and the fact that they were close friends now, to her, at least.

"Ryoma-sama… what could you possibly have to tell me at this hour? Couldn't you wait until you come back to school?" she yawned and rubbed her eyes. She wasn't necessarily annoyed at his call, but she just needed her eight-hour sleep.

"No, it can't."

She blinked. What could it be?

"Well, what is it?"

"I'm leaving today for Rio. So…" he hesitated, Tomoka raised her brows. It was unusual for the prince to pick his words carefully.

"So… take care of Ryuzaki. Thanks, and… bye," before she could ask why, Tomoka heard the call disconnected.

Did he just say his goodbye to her? Now that was something… But then, okay, what about Sakuno? Did they talk already? Is she going to the airport with him? So many questions clouded Tomoka's mind, but she was too sleepy to think about it now.

So, Tomoka returned the receiver on the phone and went back to sleep. She decided to talk about it with Sakuno tomorrow.

Sakuno woke up, the sunrays blinding her eyes. She rubbed them before sitting up. After the confrontation with Ryoma last night, her mind was blank as she proceeded to go to bed. Now that she recalled, she sort of broke up with him. But it was for the best, Ryoma wouldn't be tied down here when he should be aiming for the top. Sakuno won't hold him back anymore. The same goes for her. She won't feel the need to stay there and be miserable. She's going to see through her plan and start her life elsewhere.

Ryoma…

It was funny. They haven't even started a relationship yet and it ended just like that. It's been fun to experience being with him, laughing with him, hugging him, kissing him, and just… loving him.

Sakuno didn't realize that tears were continuously streaming down her face. She didn't understand anymore. She had made her peace that she would let go of him, so why is she feeling uncertainty and regret?

Her shoulders shook uncontrollably as she began to sob loudly. She tried to cover her mouth from making any more sound, Aunt Rinko might hear her and fuss over something she can't possibly talk about. After all, Ryoma being there last night was just between the two of them.

As her watery eyes blinked, she spotted Ryoma's coat from last night still hanging on her desk chair. Her feet shuffled their way to the floor and her hands carefully grabbed the coat, as if it's a piece of glass that shouldn't be dropped. Sakuno felt a strange wave of emotions within her. She could almost throw up at the sudden urge to cry. She hugged Ryoma's coat as tight as she could to at least feel his presence, her tears dampened it in the process.

"I'm sorry…" she sobbed.

When she managed to calm down, she mindlessly walked over to her room and got dressed for school. She didn't bother having breakfast and started her way out.

The walk to school was even more gruesome. She could hear the other student's conversations about the prince and Honoka.

"That Echizen. I knew that he's got some taste no matter how weird he was," a guy commented.

"Yeah, I know he's not interested in Ryuzaki. I mean, would you look at the difference?" another guy said before they chuckled.

Almost immediately, Sakuno thought that she made the right decision. This is the reality that she was facing every day and after she leaves the city, it will stop.

They had not realized that Sakuno was right behind them. She tried to calm herself down and ignore their laughter. A tear threatened to escape her eyes but she fought against it. She's not going to cry now.

"Hey, Sakuno!" she spun around and saw Tomoka frantically running to her, she seemed to come from the school entrance.

"Tomo-chan," she wondered why she was hurrying to her.

"Is the rumor true? I can't believe Ryoma-sama actually chose Honoka over you."

"It's not true…" but it may as well be, she thought.

"Well, I haven't had the chance to ask him when he talked to me this morning. What about you? Did you two talk about it?" Tomoka lazily slung her bag on her shoulders, not aware that Sakuno had stopped walking behind her.

"Y-You talked to him?"

"Yeah, we're that close now." She recalled the times when she would approach Ryoma about Sakuno's work, and how he became his confidant over her best friend's job. Tomoka feels like she's a part of Ryoma's life now and she's going to brag about it for as long as she can.

"When?"

"This morning, he called my house. I'm surprised that you didn't take him to the airport, though."

"Airport?" Sakuno's brain couldn't comprehend what Tomoka's been saying.

"He left the country this morning. I thought you knew!" Tomoka yelled. She was confused with how her best friend was reacting. Weren't they a couple now? Why is she acting like they don't know each other? The same goes for Ryoma. How could he not tell his girlfriend that he's leaving early? They're the weirdest couple she's ever met, Tomoka thought.

Meanwhile, Sakuno froze in her spot. Nothing could have prepared her for this. She actually forgot that he's leaving today, and it just made her feel worse. He picked a fight with him last night, when he purposely came to her when he should be resting in his quarters. He took the time to see her, and she told him that she doesn't feel the same way as him.

Sakuno felt like the most despicable person on Earth.

When she came home that afternoon, Sakuno found Rinko and Nanjirou eating on the dining table. They were acting the usual, laughing about something funny that happened on their day, and just looking so… happy with each other.

"Sakuno-chan, welcome home!" Rinko greeted her and automatically poured juice on an empty glass for her. Sakuno bowed to them silently and forced a weak smile. She was feeling drained for so many reasons.

"The brat left this morning," Nanjirou spoke. He felt the need to tell her in case she didn't know. In his mind, they were already dating or something.

"Yeah, sorry for not taking you with us. Ryoma specifically told us not to trouble you," Rinko added.

"Oh… it's fine," she mumbled. In the end, Ryoma still looked out for her. She would have easily fallen for him even more, but she already dismissed their relationship and it's irrevocable.

"Come and eat with us–" Nanjirou smiled at her, hoping that she's not too upset about the boy's departure.

"Uncle, Auntie… I'm going to rest now. Sorry," she dragged her feet to the stairs, and to her room. She dropped her bag on the floor as she shut the door silently. Sakuno felt her legs turn like jelly and she unwillingly dropped to the floor. She had no expression on her face, unsure of what to do now.

He's gone.

Sakuno let her tears roll on her cheeks, it was silent, it was comfortable, she cried quietly alone.

Her eyes caught a blue object by her nightstand. She slowly stood up and observed it. It looked like a rectangular box that she had never seen before.

"What is this…" she lifted it and opened it.

It was a gold-plated necklace with a small pearl pendant. Sakuno's eyes widened at how sparkly and expensive it looked. She wasn't sure if this is her belongings since this is the first time she's seen it. Realizing that she was stepping on a small card, she picked it up and read it.

Sakuno,

Happy birthday. Take care of yourself and goodbye.

-Ryoma

To be continued.