Gerudo Desert – Gerudo Town
With their return to Hyrule Castle only slightly delayed, Zelda sighed and wandered the halls of Urbosa's palace aimlessly. Their newest departure time was the next morning now.
As she reflected on her time spent in the Gerudo Desert, she felt that it had been well spent. Though her powers had not awakened from her daily prayers, her efforts to improve Vah Naboris had proven fruitful. Even Jade was impressed with the work done. Most importantly, though, she'd learned some harsh life lessons that hadn't ended her life.
She stopped to close her eyes and take a deep breath. Even now, she could see the Yiga blade coming down at her. It was hard to banish the image from her mind, but whenever she focused on what had happened after, she found her fears fade.
Even though it caused her to blush a bit.
Better than being traumatized, I suppose.
Almost involuntarily, Zelda looked out the window toward the oasis Link was currently staying at.
It was odd. She had heard of his prowess and had even caught a glimpse of his abilities during the Four Swords, but to see him up close…
Zelda blinked and shook her head in an effort to clear her mind as her thoughts veered towards something… inappropriate.
It also occurred to her that she still hadn't apologized to him yet. Or even thanked him properly.
Of course,if he would take the time to talk to me, maybe it wouldn't be so hard.
Zelda shook her head. Given how she'd treated him, it wouldn't have mattered if he was the most verbose Hylian in the realm. What relationship they had, it was her fault, and she knew it.
There was no way around it: Zelda did not have the first clue on how to talk to Link. Or even boys in general.
I suppose this is when I would have talked to Mother about this kind of thing.
The thought brought a small bout of despondency to her that she pushed away with well-practiced ease. Zelda briefly entertained the idea of talking to her father before firmly ending that line of thought.
Terrible idea. I suppose that leaves…
Zelda stopped and looked over her shoulder. As always, Dame Serlut was standing nearby, and her presence was comforting, especially considering recent events.
She felt guilty about arguing with her father regarding her personal security—safety—and resolved to apologize to him as well when she arrived home.
He was right all along, and I was the one in the wrong. Perhaps I'm not as smart as I thought I was.
It was humbling, to say the least. Zelda fervently wished her mother was still alive so that she could talk to her about… everything, really.
"Something you require of me, Your Highness?" Dame Serlut asked.
Realizing that she had been lost in thought, Zelda blushed and shook her head. "No, just thinking… actually, there is something I would request of you, Dame Serlut."
"Anything you desire, Your Highness."
"First of all, answer me this: are you and Link close? I recall that you were together during my birthday celebration last year," Zelda said.
The question caught Dame Serlut off-guard, and she blushed, almost to the tips of her ears. "I-I-I, um… what? Uh…"
Zelda giggled. "I mean, do you speak your minds often to one another?"
"O-oh. Yes, well, um, I believe so," Dame Serlut said. She took a deep breath and cleared her throat. "We haven't spoken in some time, since my tasks take me away from Castle Town, while his are in the palace. But when I arrived, it felt like no time had passed at all. He was glad to see me, and I him."
"Hmm." Zelda looked around and saw that they were still alone. "Dame Serlut, I would ask that you keep tonight a secret from Link. In fact, I would ask that you never breathe a word about tonight to anyone, understood?"
"As Your Highness wishes," Dame Serlut said at once.
Satisfied by her answer, Zelda turned on her heel and quickly walked upstairs to Urbosa's room. She nodded to the guards stationed at the entrance before calling out. "Urbosa? I was wondering if we could talk."
Urbosa was sitting at her desk but turned around and smiled at Zelda's approach. "Always. What do you wish to speak about?"
"Urbosa," Zelda said. She paused and had to lick her suddenly dry lips. "I need advice."
Urbosa gracefully stood up, planted her hands on her hips, and tilted her head. "Oh?"
"… about… boys." Zelda was sure she was blushing now.
Urbosa grinned widely. "I knew this day would come."
Zelda could only smile weakly back.
Placing a hand on Zelda's back, Urbosa guided her out towards the town. "Come with me, Little Bird. I know exactly what to do."
Zelda gratefully nodded before glancing at Dame Serlut. She mouthed, "Not a word!"
Dame Serlut, whose eyes were wide with shock, could only nod back numbly as she followed the pair out of the palace.
~o~O~o~
"You asked just in time," Urbosa said as they walked through the palace towards the northwest exit.
"Did I?" Zelda asked, curious. She had no idea where she was being led to as they went down some stairs that would take them into the Gerudo training grounds. "What are we in time for?"
"You'll see. In here," Urbosa said. She approached an open door next to the base of the stairs.
Zelda peered inside and saw that there was a class of some kind happening. There were five Gerudo adults inside: four students sitting at desks, and an instructor standing at the front. When Zelda, Urbosa, and Dame Serlut entered, the chatter stopped as all eyes turned to look at them.
"What is this?" Zelda whispered.
"Just a bit of help for you, Little Bird," Urbosa replied. "This is where we learn about voe before all vai of age leave Gerudo Town in search of their future mates."
"So this is what people in town have been talking about," Dame Serlut murmured.
Urbosa allowed Zelda to sit in the back. Dame Serlut remained standing at the doorway, though she was unabashedly listening in. Urbosa walked up to the instructor and whispered something to her before rejoining Zelda and taking a seat.
"That's Letty. She teaches courses for Voe and You," Urbosa said. "Children's courses are taught during the day, but the adult courses are taught in the evening."
"I see," Zelda said. "So, we're 'on time'."
"We have a special guest today," Letty said to the class at large. "The princess seeks knowledge about relationships with voes. Let's share with her what we've learned so far."
Zelda sat attentively, while Urbosa crossed her arms and legs and relaxed.
One of the Gerudo students raised her hand.
Letty pointed to her. "Yes, Nayla?"
"When you see a voe who interests you…" Nayla took on an aggressive expression and pounded her fist on her table. "Twist his wrist and make him come home with you!"
Zelda froze, her eyes widening in shock, an expression Urbosa and Dame Serlut mirrored.
"That's ridiculous!" one of the other Gerudo students shouted. "You should knock him out so he can't run away!"
"Are you both crazy?" another Gerudo student asked scathingly. "Invite him politely for a meal, then slip a sleeping potion into his food."
"Everyone, please!" Letty cried out. "We discussed giving people potions without permission in last week's class."
At this point, Zelda wasn't sure if she was supposed to interject, and for the life of her, she did not know what to say. Instead, she watched, transfixed as the Gerudo argued about how to pursue a man—voe—in either increasingly aggressive or underhanded ways. A small part of her wondered if she should be taking notes or not.
Urbosa pinched the bridge of her nose and noisily sighed. "I'm so sorry, Zelda."
"Is it really kidnapping if you introduce yourself first?" Nayla asked.
"Still illegal," Letty said tiredly.
"Yes, but what if you ask nicely first?"
"I-I shouldn't take this seriously… right?" Zelda asked. Privately, she wondered if Urbosa had had ideas similar to those of the other Gerudo students in her youth.
Ah, she did mention she was aggressive in pursing Sir Revan. Perhaps I should ask… maybe?
"Absolutely not, no," Urbosa said. She quickly got up, pulled Zelda to her feet, and marched them out. "Right. Let's do this the old-fashioned way, then. A pair of vai talking… over drinks. With something very strong for me."
Zelda managed to giggle nervously as they left the bickering class behind.
"Should I warn Link?" Dame Serlut asked nervously. "I feel like I—we should warn him."
When both Hylians stared at Urbosa, she sighed irritably. "He's a strong and smart voe. Unlikely any vai here can force him into anything, and he cooks his own food, so I'm sure he's fine."
Dame Serlut remained dubious but nodded anyway.
"Urbosa… is this why the laws against men… voes are in place?" Zelda asked.
Urbosa slowed down and looked thoughtful. "You know… I haven't looked at it like that before. I used to think we were protecting ourselves from voes… but now I'm wondering if we're actually protecting voes from us."
Both Dame Serlut and Zelda shared an uncertain look and a nervous laugh.
"Um… we should probably get that drink," Zelda said.
"Yes, let's. Hopefully, the advice I have will be a bit more substantial," Urbosa said. "Failing that, perhaps Serlut might have something to offer."
Zelda had thought Dame Serlut a strong, confident woman, so it was a bit of a surprise when the knight nearly tripped when Urbosa suggested she help. She regained her balance but was blushing furiously and avoided eye contact.
Maybe I should seek help elsewhere.
~o~O~o~
Author's Note:
This was not my idea. This was the brainchild of om-nom-berries, an artist that illustrated this entire comic. I was given permission to novelize it and add it to my fic. Thank you, om-nom-berries!
I urge you all to give it a read for a lovely chuckle. The artistry that went into it is also something I found fantastic.
Here's where to see the comic:
Oh boy, here I go drawing again ( )
Alternatively, you can also find it on Tumblr or search for the dub on YouTube, titled "Voe Advice".