(SUBARU POV)
I once read in a book that happiness is only real when shared. Those struggles become more bearable when carried together. I also read that nothing makes a person happier than having a Joyful heart, to love and be loved.
I never believed in all of that crap until I met them. From that moment on, my life changed- A life of waste and idleness to one filled with happiness, courage, and love.
It's no exaggeration to state that they became the caretakers of my sad and lonely heart, loving and accepting my fears, self-doubt, dreams, and aspirations.
Everything was perfect until the day they left me. However, when they left, they didn't just take my heart; they took my dreams, desires, and aspirations.
There are even some days where the urge to give up and lie down to rot away tempts me. To end it all and make the world go away forever!
Yet, I cannot.
For my lovely little angels who need me—their father—for solace, security, guidance, and love.
Even in this Everlasting Cold. Amidst this perpetual winter, I must endure.
As I finished writing another page in my Diary I closed the book and gently placed it in my drawer. Reaching for the pen holder, I stowed away my pen and stretched my tired arms. After spending nine hours in my cubicle, my muscles felt tense in need of movement. I realized I hadn't eaten lunch, but what was the point? I didn't feel hungry, and the thought of encountering lovey-dovey couples, which often triggered me, made the idea of lunch unappealing. I've been in too many confrontations with men because of that, although I always come out on top. My mastery of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and Taekwondo ensures that.
After stretching for about half a minute, I grabbed my phone to check the time. It was already 5 in the afternoon; so my shift is over. Glancing at my notifications, I noticed a couple of messages. Opening my inbox, I found three messages: two from Mom and one from Dad.
I decided to read Mom's message first. As I read it, my eyebrows shot up.
"Honey, don't worry about the girls. I'll pick them up from school. Just be careful and come home after work! Love, Mom."
I closed that message and opened another one from Mom.
"Honey, I just picked up the girls. They were in a sour mood. *sad face Emoji* So we decided to stop at the ice cream shop first to lift their spirits up. Don't worry, nothing too serious, so don't stress too much, okay? Just head home after work. Love, Mom."
After reading that, my face twisted into a scowl. The girls had been in a bad mood lately, even sad. I couldn't understand why; it could be anything. Seeing them like that broke my heart. As their dad, it should be my duty and responsibility to make them smile and to keep their smiles.
I sighed and decided to deal with that later once I was home. My finger then tapped on another message sent an hour ago. It was from the COO of the corporation, my dad.
"Great news, son! I heard you've been excelling lately. The chairman mentioned a promotion to junior executive if you keep it up. Great right? By the way, I left early today. Your mom and I picked up the little babies, but not before stopping for some delicious ice cream. Did you wish her a Happy Mother's Day? We're having a big feast later – get home ASAP!"
I rolled my eyes at this. Obviously, Pop Kenichi is making moves, and while my performance is indeed stellar, as I've been a workaholic lately, I don't want to move up.
Being promoted means more time at work and less time with the girls. I'm already a poor excuse of a dad, to begin with; I don't want it to get even worse!
"Eh, I'll just reject it," I muttered as I stood and left my cubicle. The hall was nearly deserted, with just a few people lingering behind. I continued walking until I reached the elevator. Pressing the down button, I waited.
*Ding*
The door opened swiftly, and without hesitation, I stepped inside and pressed the ground floor button. But as the doors began to close, they suddenly reopened.
"Oops, clutch time," a male voice announced as he entered, followed by a girl. Both appeared to be low-level employees, probably new. Usually, I wouldn't care, but now? I felt uncomfortable, even angry. The two of them were holding hands! They must be dating.
Despite feeling an overwhelming urge to punch the man, I managed to control myself as I didn't want to cause any trouble for Pop Kenichi. To avoid causing a scene, I closed my eyes and turned away from them, which was the best I could do.
What has become of the Japan I knew? This country has become too westernized! All thanks to the government for opening migration from Western countries to solve the abysmal birthrate! Nowadays, Western values are prevalent.
If it weren't for that, I wouldn't have met them.
Memories, sad and lovely, started invading my head—recollections of a past sweeter and more loving. But before I got lost in thought and tears as I always did, the sound of the elevator once more jolted me from my reverie, announcing our arrival at the ground floor.
I wasted no time and immediately exited the door. The lobby filled with people leaving the building was frustrating, but I had little choice, so I joined them. After a few bumps here and there, I managed to exit the building and began my walk towards the train station.
The walk to the train station was uneventful, except for the fact that there were more riders than usual. It was Mother's Day and the end of working hours, so the large crowds were understandable. I had to wait longer than before the train arrived, but eventually, it did!
I was able to board it to Shibuya Station. After a couple more transfers, I finally arrived at Toke train station in Chiba, which took me two hours. However, I didn't mind the long journey and had no choice. Luckily, I was able to sleep on the way.
"Hmm, I wonder if Mom cooked my favorite. Hopefully," I murmured alone as I began walking to the neighborhood en route to our home.
Halfway to our home, though, something caught my eye. "A new bar, huh? An English pub? When was this?" I mused aloud.
I knew I was supposed to go home because my family was waiting for me. However, my curiosity got the best of me, and I thought maybe I could find some fish and chips for Helena.
"Eh, What's the worst that could happen?" I thought as I shrugged and stepped inside. I was merely checking it out. There's likely nothing wrong with that.
The interior was simple, featuring classic wooden chairs and stools, a bar, and neatly displayed bottles of Irish, English, and Scottish whiskies, ciders, gins, vodkas, and beers.
The patrons were all men, With some being locals and others foreigners, Mostly white and a few East Indians and Latinos mixed in.
"Alright, I've seen enough—Wait!" I exclaimed as my eyes caught onto something. "Is that moonshine?"
I'm not a drinker; the most I've had is a few glasses of wine and beer, and that's only occasionally. Well, more than occasionally ever since...But Pop Kenichi said he tried moonshine before and boasted about it to my face!
Shit, I know this is wrong, I shouldn't be drinking, and I still have to be home; my family is waiting for me.
But it's just a tiny bit of alcohol, right? Just one shot and done. What harm could that do? They won't even know. Plus, it should be able to numb the pain...Right?
Emotions started flooding me once more, memories...Damn it, I have to drink! I have to forget.
Thus, at the threat of another episode of breakdown, depression, and self-loathing, I threw logic away and went to the bar. Once seated, I grabbed the attention of the bartender.
"What do you want, kid?" the guy spoke, his voice thick with an English accent.
"Um... the good stuff?" I replied, raising my eyebrows. "You got moonshine?"
"You want something strong?" he asked again, and I nodded. "How about O'Donnell?" he suggested.
"Hmm, sounds good!" I responded.
I don't know what that is, but it sounds good! I didn't have to wait long before the bartender returned with a glass containing some liquid and a can of ginger ale.
"Huh? I didn't order a ginger ale," I said to the bartender.
"Are you serious, mate? Do you want your throat to get fried? Want to go blind? Are you some strong drinker because you don't look like it," he facepalmed.
"Uh... no. Okay, how do I drink this?"
"Empty the can of ginger ale into your shot glass and drink the whole thing."
"Oh," I nodded sheepishly and followed his instructions. I then raised the glass to my face and said, "Cheers!" before downing the whole damn thing.
"Holy smokes! It burns! Argh!" I exclaimed as the liquor traversed from my mouth to my throat. It's too strong. I don't know how Pop Kenichi drinks this. It's Insane!
"You alright, mate?" the bartender asked, his voice laced with concern.
I shrugged it off. "Uh, yeah," I said as I wiped my mouth. "One more."
"You sure, matey? Looks like you were about to pass out a while ago," he remarked.
"No, this is nothing," I responded. "Hit me up again."
"Damn... that's sad, mate," the bartender replied as I finished telling him my story. "If that were me, I think I'd off myself," he added sympathetically.
"I can't do that," I slurred drunkenly, swaying on my stool. "I have kids! Won't leave them behind."
"Well, at least you got family support, right? With your old man and mom helping you and all," he pointed out.
"Yeah, guess so," I replied, my speech stumbling. "Anyways, gotta go. Family's waitin'."
"You sure you can make it back? You look pretty gone," the bartender worried.
"Don't worry," I said as I stood up, wobbly like a drunk goblin. "I'm Subaru Natsuki! Not only am I broke beyond compare, but I'm also tough! No alcohol ain't keep me down!" With that, I walked towards the exit.
The bartender sighed, shaking his head. "Alright, kid. Take care of yourself, huh?"
As I exited the pub and began a stroll homeward, the sky had transitioned into a dark black, adorned with stars and a prominent moon. I couldn't gauge the duration of my stay at the pub; I only indulged in three shots. It couldn't have been that long, could it?
My walk was noticeably unsteady, betraying the effects of intoxication. Yet, oddly, I welcomed it. Numbness and temporary escape from life's pain felt oddly comforting.
As I walked across the street, my steps felt aimless, as though nothing around me mattered. Suddenly, I reached into my pocket and took out my phone. I saw that I had missed several calls and messages from my worried parents. It was almost 10 pm, and I was supposed to be home by 7 pm. The realization hit me hard, like a ton of bricks.
"H-HOLY S-SMOKES! I'M TOA-"
*CRASH*
A booming noise shattered the air, followed by searing pain coursing through my side as a powerful impact threw me forward, and then darkness enveloped me.
"Huh?"
As I opened my eyes, I found myself beneath a white ceiling. The effort to shift my gaze left and right was a struggle, but I persevered. The walls greeted me with a medley of white, beige, and hints of wooden patterns.
A glance downward revealed a sight that shocked me—my right leg encased in a cast, and swathes of bandages covered half of my body. Further inspection revealed the line of an IV connected to me. It took me a moment to clear the fog in my mind. The last memory that came to me was a blur of intoxication and crossing the street, and then...Everything went black. As I tried to put the pieces together, I realized that I must be in a hospital, the result of some unfortunate accident.
Attempting to sit up, a wave of pain crashed all over me, leaving me gasping. "F-Fuck!" I rasp out, gnashing my teeth.
Suddenly, I heard voices from beyond the door, likely echoing down the hospital corridors.
"I'm sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Natsuki, we've done everything we can. If he wakes up, it would be a miracle," the voice noted depressingly.
"Are you kidding me!" My dad's voice erupted. "My son is ALIVE! How can you say that!?"
"But Mr. Natsuki, your son has suffered considerable encephalitis as a result of his brain injury. Statistically, most cases of encephalitis are recoverable, but not in his case. Moreover, he's been unconscious for two weeks. I am deeply sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Natsuki. Your son is in a vegetative state. It would be wise for us to consider withdrawing life sup—.
"SHUT UP!" My mom's voice cut in sharply. "YOU'RE NOT A GOD! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN! MY SON IS STILL ALIVE!" Damn, Mom's being fierce again.
"Yeah! Shut up, mister! Who are you to say my daddy is dead?!" chimed in a small, adorable voice. "Right, Luna?" she added.
"Yeah, I agree, Rina," another similar voice responded.
"Yeah! Dad is alive! He promised Spica he'd tell more stories about Mom! Dad can't die!" echoed another.
"Our Father isn't dead, sisters! The world always works in my favor. He can't die - Father can't die!" Her voice was haughty yet filled with despair.
"It's okay, babies. This doctor doesn't know what he's saying. Your daddy won't die," my mom replied through tears, joined by the others.
Damn! Hearing them cry stings me. But it also makes me feel loved. Should I keep up the act of being unconscious? No. That's just pushing it.
Suddenly, the door creaked open, and in walked my family along with a man in scrubs, likely the doctor.
"Very well. However, I will still insist that this is a waste of resources," he finished.
Pop Kenichi didn't like that. He was about to respond, but I decided enough was enough.
"Uh, Hi guys!" I interrupted, getting their attention.
My family then looked at me, their faces a mix of shock, happiness, and tears—yes, definitely tears.
"Daddy!" wailed Chocorina and Luna.
"Dad!" screamed Spica.
"Father," cried Helena.
All at once, the four balls of energy and cuteness rushed at me, jumping onto the bed, embracing me, and showering me with kisses.
Ah, not everything in this world is painful. Nor is everything cold. Even if it were, the warmth of my angels would surely melt it.
Even from zero
"Are you fucking dumb, boy?!" my dad roared as I lay in bed, embraced by my three daughters, with Mom holding my hand by my side. "Are you not using your head?! What if...WHAT IF YOU DIED!" His tone filled with anger but also a hint of relief and sorrow. Oh, and tears started to flow from his eyes. "Think, Subaru! Think!" he added.
"Damn, I never thought the great Natsuki Kenichi would ever shed a tear," I tried to joke, but it wasn't very effective.
"SCREW THAT!" Pop Kenichi replied, still visibly angry. "I thought we lost you... our only son. How about your little girls losing their only parent? Have you ever thought about that, you idiot?! They've already lost their moms! What's next? Is their idiot dad going to die because he can't handle his Booze? I swear, if you weren't in a hospital bed right now, I'd put you in a rear-naked choke myself!"
I gulped at that threat. "Alright, chill! I'm sorry! I didn't know the moonshine was that strong! I thought it was just some beer or sake," I explained, trying to reason.
"What? Are you serious, boy?" My dad's voice was still pissed but now surprised.
"Yeah, for real! Look, I'm sorry, Dad. I won't do it again, I swear!" I apologized once more.
My dad just sighed and looked out the window. Okay, he's really pissed. Thankfully, Mom intervened.
"Dear Subaru said he was sorry. At least he's okay and alive. That's all that matters, right?"
"I guess," Kenichi replied. Damn, thanks, Mom!
"Please, Grandpa, forgive Daddy! He said he's reaaaaally sorry! Right, Daddy?!" Rina pleaded, and I nodded.
"Yeah, Spica promise to scold Dad and put some sense into him. Right, Helena?"
"By all means! We will do our best to keep an eye on Father," Helena supported.
Damn, that's my girls—always supporting me and enabling me through thick and thin. I couldn't ask for more!
With all this, Dad's face softened. "Aw, jeez, you know I can't resist my precious girls, right?" he said sweetly, looking at his wife and granddaughters.
I grinned at this. "So... that means I'm off the hook, right?"
"Tsk! Fine," he said, relenting. "But..." Here it comes. "No alcohol from now on."
"I wasn't even planning on it. I hate alcohol, to be honest."
"And you're grounded for a month!" he added firmly.
"WHAT?!" I shouted, completely shocked. "What am I, a kid?"
"Well, with the way you're acting, you kinda are," he shot back.
"Alright, you got me there, old man. But what about my job? They'll fire me if I don't show up."
"Don't worry about it. I'll arrange four weeks of vacation leave for you. They'll understand."
I thought over it. Dad was always fair and cooperative, but his decisions were final. Besides, four weeks wasn't terrible; it meant quality time with my girls.
"Fine," I conceded.
(6 Years Ago)
"Hey Subaru, touching grass at last?" my buddy joked as we strolled towards school. "Seriously, spill it! What did Mr. Kenichi do to get you to go back? I never thought you'd return."
"Don't know, man. It's not just Dad," I replied with a hesitant tone. "I mean, he did play a part, sure. But one day, I woke up with a new feeling, like a switch flipped. It felt like a message – that returning to school now would lead me to my destiny faster."
"Whoa, is this the phase of a chuuni, Subaru? Holy smokes! Hahaha!" he laughed at this.
"Hey, screw you, Bro!" I retorted.
As my friend and I strolled toward Chiba High on that anticipated first day of school, I couldn't help but feel a rush of excitement. After a year-long hiatus, or perhaps longer, I was finally back in the game!
It took some persuasive skills from my dad and soul-searching, but here I was.
"Hey, Subs, have you noticed something?" my friend interrupted my thoughts.
"Noticed what?" I replied
"The diversity around here. When did Chiba become such a melting pot?"
"Huh? Probably since the government opened its doors to migrants three years ago. Ever since then, it's been buzzing with people from all over the world, not just tourists but actual residents," I explained.
"Ah, I see. So, any plans to snag a White European girlfriend?" he teased.
"Huh?! Where did that come from?" I laughed, caught off guard.
"Oh, come on, Subs! I know you!" he winked mischievously.
"I wish! But let's face it, why would they go for a guy like me?" I sighed, self-doubt creeping into my tone.
"Don't undersell yourself, buddy," he said reassuringly, placing an arm around my shoulder.
I nodded and acknowledged his words. We then fell into a comfortable silence, absorbing the atmosphere around us as we walked towards the school grounds. The number of foreigners even in this school was undeniable, at least from what I remembered.
"Hey, Subs, my class is in the opposite direction. Catch you later, brother!" my friend announced before parting ways.
"Yeah, see you later, Kazuma," I replied with a sigh, "Well, looks like it's just me... again," I muttered to myself.
With enrollment papers in hand, I set off to find my classroom. Lost in thought, I nearly collided with a handsome-looking guy.
"Excuse me!" I blurted out, barely avoiding the collision.
"Hey, watch out!" I yelled as another guy—this time with fiery red hair—came dangerously close to crashing into me. This day keeps getting more interesting!
"I sincerely apologize. I'm just new here and feeling a bit lost," He spoke with courtliness.
"Yeah, no shit," I retorted, eyeing him up and down. From the looks of it, he could be German or British, but who knows? "Anyways, where are you heading?"
"I believe my room is 3-C," he responded.
"Shit, my room is there too!" I exclaimed. "Alright, follow me." With that, I gestured for him to follow.
It didn't take long before we reached our destination. "Alright, we're here," I declared, stopping at the classroom door.
"You have my thanks, Mister...?" he trailed off, prompting me for my name.
"You can call me Subaru," I replied before opening the door.
And that's when I first met her.
Two of them
"And that's how you met Mommy and Luna's Mommy, Daddy?" Rina asked, seeking confirmation.
"Yep, that's how I met your mothers," I confirmed with a smile.
"How about Mom, Dad?" Spica chimed in, curious about her origin.
"Oh, your mom? She's a gamer! But I actually met her at the lab. It's a pretty memorable story," I said, getting lost in the fond memories.
"And what about mine, mother?" Helena asked with an adorable look on her face.
"Ah, your mom? She was a bit tsundere and haughty, just like you, but in a good way, of course," I replied, reminiscing about the eccentricities that made her who she was.
"Not fair, Dad!" Spica chimed in again, this time with an adorable pout. "You told us how you met Rina and Luna's moms, but not Spica's and Helena's."
"You're right, Spica, that's not fair indeed," I conceded, realizing my mistake. "Alright, let me tell you how I met your m—."
Suddenly, the door to my room swung open, and Mom entered. "Honeys, time for dinner," Mom Naoko announced with a warm smile.
"Aww, Dad was just about to tell me about Mom," my daughter with striking blue eyes complained, her tone dripping with cuteness.
Mom walked over to her and gently patted her head. "That can wait until after dinner, little missy. Come on! Dinner's getting cold."
The kids nodded in agreement, heading downstairs. I stood up and followed them.
"How's your leg, dear?" Mom chimed in as we descended the stairs.
"It's good, actually," I replied
It's been a month since the accident that nearly cost me my life, but I've miraculously recovered.
Yesterday, the cast on my leg was finally removed, and I can walk normally again! Most of the time, I've been confined to my room, playing with my daughters. What else could I do?
However, Dad decided to extend my leave for another week. He suggested we take the kids to Disneyland as a treat. With the way things are, I wouldn't be surprised if they end up very spoiled.
Bah, who cares! They, can be spoiled all they want, and I'll still love them.
As we reached the ground floor, I was about to head to the dining room where Dad and the kids were waiting, but Mom stopped me. "Dear, I need to tell you something."
"What is it, Mom? Can it wait until we eat? I'm starving."
"No, this can't wait," she said, making me uncomfortable. When Mom gets serious like this, I know she isn't joking. "We wanted to tell you a month ago, but with your accident and recovery, we decided to wait."
"Alright, spill the beans, Mom."
Her face turned to a frown. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she said, "The kids, Subaru... they are being bullied at school."
I digested what she said, and suddenly my blood began to boil. "What," I said with a dangerous frown.
"The kids there are teasing them, saying they don't have moms and that their dad is a solo house husband."
"Did they get hurt?!"
"No, just teasing, Subaru," my mom said calmly. "Actually, Helena and Luna punched a boy on the playground the day of your accident because he teased them for being half-orphans. That's why the principal called me."
"Ha, serves them right!" I replied, my voice filled with anger. "What did the principal say?"
"He issued a final warning," my mom explained. "Any more trouble and there could be suspension or even expulsion."
"How about I rip his throat!" I exploded.
"Easy there, dear," my mom soothed. "Once the principal realized who your dad was and we threatened legal action, he backed off. He promised it wouldn't happen again."
"It better be!" My voice filled with anger. "Else, I'll knock his teeth out."
"Oh! Count me in," my mom replied, which made me smile. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, huh?
We then made our way to the dining room to join the others. As we settled into our seats, I noticed Dad chatting with Chocorina.
"Rina, you should eat your peppers. They're good for your health, you know!" Dad advised.
"But Grandpa! I don't like peppers," Rina protested, her lips forming a pout.
"Dad's right, Rina," I chimed in. "If you don't eat your veggies, you'll end up all chubby and thick!"
"Daaaaddy!" Rina protested, her pout deepening.
"Daddy!" Luna chimed in this time. "Are we really going to Disneyland on Sunday? Luna reaaally wants to see the big mice, Daddy," she asked with a hopeful voice.
"Ohhhh! Spica wants to go to Disneyland too Dad! Pretty please!" Spica added her plea.
"Yes, yes, we'll go! But you all have to eat all your veggies, okay?" I negotiated.
"YAY!" they exclaimed, their excitement filling the room.
As they happily dug into their meals, a smile graced my lips.
My little girls growing up so fast, so joyful and healthy. If only you could witness and experience this lovely moment with me. If only the four of you were here, sharing love and receiving it in return.
If only.
Maybe in another life. Maybe In another world.
Maybe
"Hey... where's the mayo?" I inquired.
"Gone," Dad replied simply.
"Alright, I'll head to the convenience store then," I announced, preparing to stand up.
"No, you won't! You might do something dumb again," Dad interjected firmly.
"Tsk! I'll be fine! I won't do anything stupid, I swear," I protested.
"Not good enough," his voice remained firm.
"Worry not, Grandfather," Helena spoke up this time. "I'll accompany Father and make sure he stays safe."
"Ohhh! I wanna go, I wanna go!" Chocorina piped in.
"If Rina and Helena are going, then Luna and I are going too!" Spica declared.
My dad took a moment to digest this and then sighed. "Fine, but be quick, alright? And keep an eye on your dad, got it, girls?!"
"Yes!"