A/N: Hello! I had a case of writer's block that caused this chapter to take so long. It's a little shorter than some of the others, but I hope it was still worth the wait.
Happy reading!
6. You Are in Love
You can hear it in the silence, silence, you
You can feel it on the way home, way home, you
You can see it with the lights out, lights out
You are in love, true love
You are in love
- You Are in Love, Taylor Swift
"Look at this." Claire says, pulling old Fleetwood Mac t-shirt from the rack she'd been meticulously looking through, with glee. "Quil will love this!"
It was a Saturday in mid-November and Angela, Claire and I had made the hour and half drive into Asheville. I'd only been to the city one before, when I was too young to really remember it, but Angela and Claire made the trek fairly often and had taken me to what they deemed the best kept secrets that Asheville had to offer.
We'd had lunch at Bones Smokehouse, where I'd had the best barbecue I'd even had, then spent the afternoon exploring the city, making our way through small mom-and-pop stores before finding our way into Lulu's Vintage.
The store was the perfect combination of industrial and farmhouse. The exterior looked like it used to be a garage and was painted a dark gray with wooden accents around the front door and windows. Boxes of multi colored flowers were placed on either side of the front door and under the windows. A sign sat out front inviting all to come in and explore.
The inside had old flooring that looked like it belonged in a Victorian home that was stained a dark, warm brown. Wooden beams ran across the metal ceiling, accented by the warm glow of the lighting. Racks and racks of clothes were everywhere, packed to the brim, causing you to have to really dig to find anything, which in my experience were the best kinds of place to explore.
"That's awesome." I told her. I'd already found several pieces myself: two sweaters, a pair of jeans, and a Nirvana t-shirt. My wallet wasn't going to be happy with me when I left.
"I can't wait to see him." Claire sighed, putting the shirt on her own ever growing pile. Quil was her boyfriend and a senior at Clemson. He was coming home for Thanksgiving next week.
"Speaking of which," Angela starts, "are you both coming to Thanksgiving at my house again this year? Ben wants to know how to plan."
"Not this year. Quil's mom really wants us at her house this year."
"While I'm going to miss you both at my table this year, I am looking forward to you not practically burning my house down this year."
Claire looks at her offended. "I didn't almost burn your house down. The fire was contained to the oven."
I snort.
"We still had to call the fire department."
"Yet, you still let her cook at your house a few weeks ago." I point out.
"Don't remind me." Angela grumbles. "What about you? If you don't have anything planned, you can always come to my house."
"Thanks, but my mom and sisters are coming in for the holiday."
I always loved Thanksgiving growing up. The house always smelled of cinnamon when we came downstairs where mom would be putting icing on the cinnamon rolls she'd baked. Dad would have the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on the TV and we'd all watch it, eating our cinnamon rolls that Mom always put extra icing on, my fingers getting sticky from the sugar.
Since we were little, Leah had been Mom's shadow in the kitchen, always wanting to be her helper, even if it was something small like washing the potatoes before they were boiled, that mom would then let her mash.
While Leah and Mom were busy in the kitchen, Dad would play board games with Jessica and me. He'd always beat us at Monopoly, but would always play Candy Land with us afterwards, never saying anything when we'd cheat. It was always my favorite day, especially as my sisters and I got older, when family time was scarcer than when we all lived at home, more precious.
That first Thanksgiving after Dad passed was hard. It had barely been two months, the loss of him so fresh. Nothing felt the same and none of our hearts were in it.
When Mom had called a few days ago to make Thanksgiving plans, I'd suggested they come to Fontana to celebrate the holiday at the cabin. Thanksgiving had been dad's favorite holiday and it would never feel the same anymore. I thought that a change of venue would help. We'd never celebrated at the cabin before, so I thought starting a new tradition would be beneficial, help make it feel like Thanksgiving again. I was also eager for them to meet my friends, to see the town the way I'd come to: for something more than a summertime get away. It had become so much more.
"Aw, you have to be so excited." Claire beams at me.
"I am. This is the longest I've gone without seeing them." I smile, feeling my excitement at the fact that in only a matter of days, I will be seeing my mom and sisters again. "What exactly did you catch on fire?" I ask because my curiosity has gotten the better of me.
"Green bean casserole." It's Angela that answers. "She didn't set a timer and forgot about it until the smoke alarm went off. Then, once it wasn't on fire anymore, she said that if we scraped off the top, we could still eat it."
"The inside was fine!" Claire defends.
"And smoke flavored." Angela quips back.
"I would have still eaten it." Claire tells her, clearly still feeling very passionately about the situation.
"I have to admit, I'm with Angela on this one." I tell them, laughing at the look of betrayal on Claire's face.
As we make our way to the register, my phone pings. I dig it out of my purse to find a text from Alice.
Alice: Holy shit, Bella! This is the hottest fucking shit I've ever read!
I could feel my cheeks flame as I read her words. After my date Edward, that included eating pancakes in the middle of the night while sitting on his kitchen counter wearing one of his t-shirts that may or may not be laying on my bed right now, I'd locked myself in the cabin the rest of the weekend, writing like a mad woman as I finished the next batch of pages. To say I was inspired was an understatement. The chapters I sent Alice were the spiciest I'd ever written, but they were also the most emotional as the heroine comes to realize how deep her feelings are for the hero. They'd been pretty autobiographical.
"Are you okay?" Angela asked, looking at me with concern.
"Yeah," I waved my phone in her direction, "just a text from my agent. She's reading the new pages I sent her." My phone pings with another message from Alice. This time it was a string of incoherent letters and the mind exploding emoji. "Apparently she likes them." I clear my throat as I put my phone back in my purse, my face tomato red and it suddenly felt twenty degrees hotter in the store.
I didn't get embarrassed when it came to Alice reading my smut. I'd written some pretty scandalous things over the years, much more scandalous that what was in those pages. The only difference was that this time, art was imitating much too closely to my real life for me to not feel a little over exposed.
"How is your book coming along?" Claire asked.
"Better than expected, honestly." I'd written more in the weeks since being in Fontana than I had the last three years combined. The words spilled out onto the page with an easy that I hadn't experienced since my early twenties. The story was nearly done, and it felt like I had just started. "I think it will be done before Christmas."
"Oo!" Claire bounced on the balls of her feet in excitement, reminding me so much of Leah that it made my heart ache a little. "I can't wait to read it. What's it about? If I can ask that?"
"Of course you can ask, it doesn't mean that I'll tell you." I quipped, laughing at her clear disappointment before I give her the answer. "It's about a woman who comes to a small town in the mountains of North Carolina to get heal from her father's death. Along the way she meets some interesting people, and maybe… a certain special someone." The description didn't give the story justice, but I didn't want to give too much away.
"Sounds familiar." Angela bumped my shoulder with hers.
I blushed. The story was autobiographical to a certain extent. There were things that I changed from my own story that felt too personal to share, like the fact that I hadn't been able to leave my apartment for months on end. That version of myself felt so far from who I was now, that it was crazy to think that it was only been a matter of weeks that separated me from her.
"I know the book club is excited for your next book." Claire adds as we make it to the register, where a woman with teal hair that was shaved on one side and a nose ring, was waiting to check us out. Her name tag letting me know that her name was Lyla. She greeted us with a smile and a warm hello as she checked out Claire's items. "I think they would love for you to join us again. We're starting Tanya Denali's new book next week, so it would be the perfect time."
While I'd purchased Tanya's newest book weeks ago, I had yet to start it.
"I wouldn't be intruding?" I asked, watching Claire swipe her debit card.
Claire waved me off like what I said was nonsense. "They loved you."
The book club meeting was low key and hearing their thoughts about the story and characters was a highlight for me. While doing book tours was never my favorite thing because of how introverted I was, I always enjoyed getting the readers thoughts on the stories, what their favorite parts were, and what they thought would've made it better. Even though the main conversation was about My Summertime Fling, we talked about all of my books, going well beyond the usual time the meetings ended. I'd never had so much fun, and it had everything do with how Angela had kept everything so normal. She'd introduced me like I was just another member of the group. I was going to be forever grateful to her for that.
"I would love to, actually." Once my novel was done, I was going to need something to fill my time while I thought of my next story and completed edits before it went to print.
As the three of us headed out of Lulu's Vintage to where Angela's car was parked up the street, my phone pinged with a text.
Edward: How's my girl doing?
I bit my lip to try to hide my smile that was threatening to split my face in half. Every time I got a text or a call from him, it would make my heart race, butterflies invading my stomach.
Bella: Good. Angela, Claire and I are just leaving Asheville. We had a girl's day exploring the city.
Edward: Did you have a good time?
Bella: Hard not to with these two.
Bella: How was your day? Any kids with toys stuck where they shouldn't be? ;)
Edward: Not to day, thankfully.
Edward: It was a rough one, though.
Bella: I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?
Edward: Can I see?
Bella: I'll bring take out.
-IS-
I stopped at the cafe I ate at my first day in town before I headed to Edward's. He and I shared our love of their patties melts and milk shakes, which seemed like just what he needed after a hard day.
I parked behind his car in the driveway, grabbing the bag of food from the passenger seat. I let myself in using the key he'd given me a few days prior, saying that if I was going to be spending so much time here, I might as well have a key. I'd waited for the anxiety to hit me at the implication behind him giving the piece of tiny metal, but just like with the awkwardness that I'd braced for when we'd first met, it never came. The only thing I did feel was a warmth that burrowed further into my heart, where it stayed, glowing, only burning brighter with each day that passed.
I found him in the kitchen in a pair of thread bare sweatpants and a white undershirt, hair a mess from running his fingers through it. He was looking at his phone with a frown of concentration on his face.
"Hey, you." I announce myself, walking into the kitchen, placing the food on the counter.
He looks up from his phone, a smile breaking out on his that turns my insides to mush. I never wanted him giving me that smile to get old. It made me feel special, like I was the only person in the world he saw.
"Hey," his voice is tired, so are his eyes. He walks over to me, placing a chaste kiss on my lips before pulling me into a hug.
I wrap my arms tightly around him, burying my nose into his chest. "Do you want to talk about it?" I place a kiss over his heart, waiting for him to answer.
He sighs into my hair and it gives me goosebumps. "I lost two patients today." My heart clenches at the pain in his voice. "They'd been involved in a head-on collision. We did everything we could, but it wasn't enough." He releases a shuttering breath and I know exactly where his mind is at without him needing to say it.
"I'm so sorry, Edward." My words have a double meaning. I'm sorry about the people he lost today, the ones that despite knowing better, he feels like he failed, and I'm also sorry about his parents, because I understand that no matter how long ago a loss was, it can still sometimes feel like it was yesterday.
He hugs me tighter, "I just… I needed you."
I looked up at him, running my thumb along the stubble on his jaw. "I'll always be here for you." He'd been there for me so much in the last several weeks, that it did my heart good to be there for him for once.
I can see it on his face in this moment, the words that have been hanging between us, that I'm sure he's going to say them, but he pulls back instead. "Patty melts?" he asks with a timid smile.
"Of course." I tell him in a tone that says I think it's ridiculous that he thinks I'd bring something else.
We settle at the dining table, not bothering with plates as we dig in. When he takes his first bite, he releases a moan, a look of bliss on his face that makes me smile that I was able to make his day a little better.
"What were you concentrating on so hard when I came in?" I ask, wiping my mouth with one of the many napkins the restaurant put in the bag.
He smirks, looking me in the eye, looking almost amused.. "I was reading."
For the first time, anxiety creeps into my gut and my palms start to sweat. "What exactly were you reading?"
"Reclaiming the Tide." My stomach bottoms out. Why did that have to be the first one he read? "Lauren, one of the nurses I work with, said it was your best."
My ears are ringing and I feel like I can't catch my breath. Reclaiming the Tide was the last book I wrote. The book, that through the course of writing it, finally gave me the courage to leave Paul. It was one that I didn't revisit because it brought back memories that were too painful. My therapist said that in time, once I'd healed, it would get easier, but I don't know if I believe that.
"The raw emotion that you captured… it's unbelievable, Bella."
I bite my lip, trying to come back down. I'd told Edward very little about my relationship with Paul. All I'd been ready to share was that our relationship was a toxic, but he didn't know to what extent.
I push my food away from me, no longer hungry, and place my crossed arms on top of the table. "It's easier when you're writing from experience."
The hush that descends is deafening, you could hear a pin drop. I can't look at him because I'm afraid I'm going to see the same look in his eyes that I occasionally see in my family's eyes. The one that says they think I'm broken.
After a few beats of silence, I feel his fingers come to my chin, lifting my face to look at him. The pity that I expected to see is nowhere to be found. Instead there's a look of awe on his face that is unexpected.
"You're an incredible woman, Bella. Everyday, you impress me with your strength." He says it with such conviction that it brings tears to my eyes.
I don't think, I just stand, going over to him to bring him into a searing kiss. I pour everything that I'm feeling into the kiss, whimpering when he grips my hips, bringing me down so I'm straddling his lap, the food forgotten.
Hours later, after we've had our fill of each other, and are lying in bed that night, I'm absolutely certain.
I'm so in love, that it feels like I might stop breathing.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed.
Two more chapters and this little baby fic will be over. I'm going to be sad to see these characters go. I've fallen in love with them and they hold a special place in my heart.
See you next time.