If you got this far, that's great! I can't wait to disappoint. I would like to thank Fullmetal Alchemist for the creation of automail, as I do plan to use the reference here. It was completely accidental that Fae's dragon shares the same name as Jinorah's bison. I know Jinorah doesn't have an H, but I'm choosing not to change it.

I also want to give a shout out the like 2-3 people who have read this story through so far, it's viewers like you that keep me going. Thank you. :)

If you like, tell me if my depiction of phantom limb and self-harm is inaccurate, I'm open to criticism.

Trigger warning: self-harm, phantom limb, possible PTSD triggers

- ML

Western Air Temple, two weeks after Lord Minnow's visit

Walking proved to be more difficult than teaching a toddler. And Jinorah had collapsed or stumbled many times just like one. They began her physical therapy with walking in a pool, easy and smooth. The 19-year-old did not mind the beginning of the walking process. She could endure the padding in her wooden appendages, the belts keeping them secure, her lack of balance, and the strange feeling of round flesh inside bowls. She could manage the fear and panic during the healing process led by Kiana and Senma.

Considering her history, her loyal team of nurses—Senma, Nora, Kiana, and Yehn—did not restrain her, or force her to endure the healer's touch in one session. The healing would take two days, in fact.

One the first day, following the visit of Lord Minnow and his two mates, Kiana filled a pool with water collected from the heavy fog and low clouds below the cliff edge. The pool was also located in Jinorah's garden. Jinorah knew it was carved by one of the elder earthbenders, but she did not mind that. It was perfect for her physical therapy: 10 feet wide, four feet deep. A metalbender probably installed the metal bars for arm support while walking in the pool. And they could easily be removed by a metalbender too, if Jinorah decided she wanted to swim or soak in the pool at any depth she desired.

But the Earth creatures—especially Fire creatures who bend lightning—were forbidden from earthbending or metalbending in her presence.

On the evening of the first day, the pool was made much smaller and shallower at three feet wide and 10 inches deep. Jinorah was placed in that pool everyday until her amputation scars were completely healed. Kiana always sat herself at the other end, her palms glowing with that high pitched sound in small globs of water. It made her calm blue eyes appear like chips of ice. Jinorah flinched at her touch, closing her eyes tightly as if bracing herself for an attack. But no such thing happened there. Kiana hovered one palm over each leg. Jinorah's head rested in Yehn's lap. The nurse stroked her hair gently, attempting to comfort the airbender.

"AHHGH GET AWAY FROM ME!" the airbender screamed, sending a blast of air into Kiana's face. It might as well been a punch in Kiana's face. The waterbender fell into the rose bushes a few feet behind, scratched and pricked by dozens of stinging thorns. Jinorah curled up, suppressing sobs as Yehn pulled her out of the water. Jinorah scratched the scars, itching like crazy from whatever trigger she was dealt. Nora and Senma hurried to pull Kiana from the thorny bushes. The Water creature shouted and writhed in pain, instinctively bending the moisture out of the hostile plants to free herself. The roses shriveled and wilted instantly. Nora jumped back, alarmed by the strange form of waterbending. But the elder nurse Senma was unfazed, helping Kiana stand up. Kiana immediately stripped her outer robe, which had the most thorns stuck.

"Oh, that stupid plant. I should've known the Phoenix roses were a poor choice!" Kiana exclaimed, throwing the robe on the ground.

"Don't blame the plant, Kiana," Senma said calmly, attempting to diffuse the situation. Kiana sighed, backing away from the pool. "My apologies, Miss Senma."

"That's alright did your best today."

Their attention returned to the crying Jinorah lying on the grass, gripping Yehn's damp robes. Yehn did not move from that spot for several minutes, worried she would worsen Jinorah's condition. Senma and Nora sat with them as well.

All Jinorah could think about was that day, playing over and over in her head. Milo bleeding to death next to her; her father beheaded without a second thought; her mother and unborn sibling slaughtered; Ikki's charred face staring through her for hours; the crack of Rohan's neck echoing like a blade slicing through her head. Real Avatars make tragedy look so easy to face. They were so brave in the face of trauma, it sickened her to imagine someone seeing her as a potential Avatar.

Jinorah wanted nothing more than to make the blood run down her amputated stumps to quiet the nightmarish memories. But she could not afford to look any weaker than she already was. The airbender sat up from Yehn's lap, looking at her legs. She collapsed back onto her resting place, giving up the goal of finishing anything that day.

The next day, Jinorah woke up to immediately dry heave from an empty stomach over a dream she no longer remembered. Any moment she could've thrown up, it was merely spats of saliva and stomach acid. This time, only Nora was awake to tend to her needs. The nurse had even brought a bucket meant for messes such as this one.

Jinorah cried harder than usual in that moment, gagging intently, but coughed up nothing to relieve her body of the nonexistent toxins within. Jinorah slipped from the bed, falling into the nurse's arms. Nora hugged the airbender as she cried, although she didn't know why it felt so right to cry.

"We're here for you, Jinorah," she whispered. But of course Jinorah couldn't hear her over the sound of her heart pounding in her chest.

When Jinorah was able to breathe evenly, Nora lifted her back into her bed. The airbender stared off sadly. Nora offered a cup of water, which she accepted.

"I'm worried about you," Nora began, meeting Jinorah's dejected gaze. "I fear the trials with do more harm to you than good. You can step away—"

"I can't quit," Jinorah grunted. "I've already lost so much. What more could the Avatar take?" The airbender looked at the nurse intently.

"It could take your life," Nora replied quietly, lowering her gaze. "The Avatar is merciless."

"The Avatar doesn't scare me," Jinorah muttered, glaring ahead. She had to become stronger. No matter how much she vomited, cried, or panicked so hard she felt like dying. Nothing would stop her from taking back her life through the Avatar.

On the second day, Jinorah was placed into the pool again. This time, Kiana focused healing on her mind. Jinorah laid her head on Kiana's lap. It was scared, but durable. But that mindset was short lived when the flashbacks surfaced as the healing commenced. Jinorah froze up, feeling the glowing water on her head. She gripped handfuls of grass, eyes wide in shock.

Tenzin's head. Milo's neck. Ikki's face. Pema and her unborn sibling. The incoherent shouting of the enemies as they laid terror on the family and temple. Fuck...

Kiana lifted her hands away with a flinch as Jinorah's chest heaved for air. The airbender gulped up air that simply did not enter her body. Everything around her collapsed on itself. Even her mind seemed to spiral into itself, screaming bloody murder for oxygen and order.

Day two was ended abruptly after she fainted from low oxygen.

On the third day, Jinorah sat up from her sleep, blinking sleep from her eyes. She hung her head for a few seconds. Republic City was probably still on lockdown due to the Air Water War, but Jinorah honestly couldn't remember why the city was in danger. Perhaps it had something to do with her father, previously a favored councilman. But Jinorah did not have the energy to face such a complex rabbit hole right now.

She scooted to the edge of her bed. Her upper strength was still quite weak, so she slowly, painfully dropped herself into her wheelchair, neatly falling off. Once the 19-year-old sat correctly, she panted from the effort, wiping beads of sweat from her forehead. She began to roll to the door, which was open of course. Senma was first to notice her early departure.

"Oh my, you've gotten up on your own?"

"Good morning, Miss Senma," Jinorah deflected, smiling a little. Then it dropped soon after. "I thought I would get myself up. I have to get stronger."

"Ah, I'm glad to see you're motivated," Senma replied, returning the kind expression. Her greying brown hair was bound in a braided bun today, a little different from her usual two or three braid styles.

"Do you need help in the bath?"

"Assuming the plumbing is decent, I can manage," Jinorah replied. The elder nurse nodded.

"Understood. The bath is already full, I had only come by to take you there. Do you need assistance getting into the bath? You could slip and hurt yourself," she warned.

"I'll do it myself, I want to," the airbender insisted, frowning. She might have needed help before, but she had to do this on her own now.

"It's okay if you still need help," Senma said. "Feel free to do certain things yourself, but the four of us are always here for you if you need anything. We are your family now."

"You are not my family and never will be!" Jinorah hissed, before pushing her wheelchair with brute force to get out of her room quickly. She fumed with anger, insulted that Senma could say such a thing.

Does she think she can replace my family? I have no family! NO ONE!

Jinorah arrived at her bathroom to a warm bath already run, steaming the bathroom. Jinorah looked down at the floor as she pushed the wheels through the doorway, slowing stopping at the side of the tub. In truth, she wasn't sure her arms could support her in climbing in and out of the bath. But she had come this far and it felt a little embarrassing to call for help after her outburst.

Jinorah untied the belt around her sleeveless sleeping robe, shrugging it off her shoulders. She shifted her bottom side to side to pull the robe from under her, then dropped it on the floor. Once she was undressed, Jinorah gripped the armrests of her wheelchair, struggling and shaking as she slowly lifted her upper body off the seat. She took quick breaths, face turning red from the weight of herself on her skinny arms. The 19-year-old lightly fell on her bottom into the tub, sighing with relief as the hard part was over.

The airbender rested her head against the headrest on the edge of the tub, closing her eyes. She let her arms float on the water. The calm swishing of fluidity washed over her skin like a lazy river. Lazy river...

Many Years Ago

Ember Island, or was it Jang Hui River?

Jinorah envisioned herself a smaller age, going to a place surrounded by water and festivities. The players featured something about a Painted Lady and a waterbender against an Earth Kingdom factory polluting the waters. The Painted Lady battled a real earthbender and sadly lost, but made a truce. Happy ended, clean river. Or was it a lake?

Little Jinorah just thought how funny the panda Hei Bai looked chasing a village player. She wanted to ride it over the trees and sour like her harpy Air Nation sisters. Their wings sprout from their backs like birds with arms, they looked so cool!

"They do dangerous work," Tenzin once said in a little tale. "The lazy river is a sacred place of rest and letting down one's hair."

19-year-old Jinorah pulled her hair from the bun it was tied in. It draped over her shoulders, soaking at the tips. For a moment, she felt her mother's arms over her shoulders. Maybe it was her father cuddling her. She opened her eyes, remembering she was alone. The airbender sat up to hug her legs to her chest. All she could hug was her upper body, shedding tears once more. How can her body be butchered, but her mind still itches in places long gone? It was so painful to never scratch that itch again.

The 19-year-old decided to cut her bath short. She looked over to her wheelchair, sniffling. She blew her nose into her hands, then rinsed them in the bath water. She gripped the edge of the tub, grunting as she lifted her body. Slumped on the edge of the tub, Jinorah made a go for her wheelchair. But what she realized too late was that the wheels were unlocked. The wheelchair rolled backwards and Jinorah fell on the floor. She screamed in frustration, punching the chair until it toppled over as well.

"It's okay, Jinorah," Nora was suddenly kneeling by her side, but Jinorah shoved the nurse. The nurse sat up, still on one knee, surprised by the airbender's reaction.

"Don't touch me!" she glowered through her tears. Nora nodded slowly, standing. The half griffon picked up her wheelchair, setting it down. She locked the wheels from moving, then stood by, looking at Jinorah expectantly. Jinorah looked back at her, wiping her eyes.

"W-what are you doing?"

"I'm waiting for you to try again."

"I, I can't. It's too high..."

"It's okay to accept my help, you are never alone here."

"..." Jinorah hung her head in shame. Nora's eyes softened as she extended her arms to the airbender to lift her. Nora used her foot to push a chair right beside the wheelchair, then sat the unclothed Jinorah down. Nora placed her fists on her hips once she backed away.

"Okay, try getting into the wheelchair. You can lower the armrest if it's in the way."

"But I'm too weak—"

"Nonsense!" Nora said with a proud smirk. "I'm confident you can get your upper body strength back, starting today."

Jinorah only nodded. Nora continued. "What some patients do first is balance part of their weight on one of the arms before settling into the wheelchair."

"Okay, I'll try that."

The 19-year-old grabbed the chair's arms, slowly lifting her weight. She struggled for a bit as she shakily sat herself on the arm of the wheelchair. Her muscles definitely did not welcome the exercise. The airbender then sat herself into the wheelchair, panting from the workout. She smiled at Nora. "I, I did it," she said. Nora grinned.

"Great job, I knew you could," the nurse said with pride. She picked up Jinorah's night clothes and passed her a towel to dry off with. After that, Jinorah laid the towel over herself like a blanket, tucking it behind and under herself to secure it. She reached down for the little latch on one wheel to unlock it, then the other.

"Will you still need me to dress you?" the half griffon nurse offered. Jinorah shook her head.

"I want to try doing it myself."

"I'll be near if you need me. Remember, we're all here for you."

Unbeknownst to Jinorah, Nora had already noticed the scabbing cuts on her wrists. However, now was not the time to address this new challenge. She could not risk the airbender shutting down in response to that confrontation.

Jinorah had managed to put on underwear. She also put on a long sleeve brown lace up linen shirt. She could only hope the scabs of cut wounds were unnoticed. The shorts were a challenge, however. She nearly slid down from the wheelchair as she pulled them up to her waist.

As of now, she joined her team of four nurses at the pool, left at the same size for the purpose of fully healing her scars. She stared at the clear body of water. It felt as though a lump blocked her throat, her heartbeat pounding in her ears. The space around her began to sink, drumming in her ears despite the sounds of peaceful nature. Everything was loud, closed in, and racing in her mind. Jinorah grabbed her chest over her racing heart, breathing heavily. Her chest seemed to tighten.

Senma instantly recognized her panic attack striking again, for the trembling frame to the gasps for air that did not fill her lungs. The elder nurse came to her side, kneeling before her.

"Jinorah, Jinorah, take my hand," she said softly. Jinorah squeezed her frailer hands, her voice pitched with each rise of her chest. Senma spoke softly to her, almost in a prayer.

"Your pain is understood and embraced. You are protected here. There is no danger. We are your safe haven. You are so blessed to be with us today in your journey of recovery. There is no danger," the nurse whispered to the 19-year-old. Jinorah slouched down to touch her forehead to Senma's soft hands, light tears forming in her eyes.

Senma said nothing else as she lifted Jinorah from her chair, helping her into the shallow water. Kiana sat across from her, opting to sit in front of the tall grass instead of the thorn bushes of roses. There was still visible opening where the waterbender had been blown into.

"Whenever you're ready, Jinorah," Kiana reassured the airbender. After a minute or so, she cautiously sank herself into the water, soaking her clothes in seconds. Kiana took that as the OK to begin. She dipped both her hands into the water. It began to glow, creating the high pitched sound of gentle power. Jinorah shut her eyes, whimpering in fear. Like before, she laid her head on Senma's lap. Yehn carried a cold breakfast tray of lychee nuts, coconut water, overnight oats with fruits and maple-cinnamon, and filtered water.

Jinorah dared to open her eyes after what felt like a short pause in time. She sat up, foolishly thinking she felt her toes wiggle in the water. Of course not. But her scarred tissue was completely healed. There would be no more waking up in blood stained sheets, no more restitching (they would pull a few at a time before each session). The scars were still there of course, but they looked years older and healthy. And the cuts on her wrist no longer stung; she knew they'd heal as well.

She had done it. Jinorah had sat through the end of the healing process. And now, she was ready for satomail.

The trip to Republic City lasted less than 10 hours of flight on Pepper, Jinorah's sky bison. She had missed the buggery beast more than she let on. And Pepper certain missing her too, licking her face until she was drenched in spot and snot. Kiana was kind enough to clean her and the bison of the fluids, but mostly because the waterbender did not like the mess of bodily fluids unchecked.

Jinorah was accompanied by her team, of course. They also packed a few essentials for themselves, as this trip would take up the remaining two weeks Jinorah had left before the Avatar trials were set to begin. The had no idea what the trials consisted of, unfortunately. The underground Purple Lotus did not reveal details that easily, it wasn't safe to be transparent these days.

"I'm excited for you to get your new legs," Yehn said to Jinorah. "How do you feel now that you'll get to walk again?"

"I don't know," the airbender confessed. "I'm a little nervous, but I have to get it over with."

She knew Republic City was still on lockdown, so the timing of her operation felt so inconvenient. Would they be turned away? Would she be told to stay on Temple Island again? She shuddered at the thought of surrounding herself with reminders of the family she lost, the family home frozen in time...

"We're here!" Nora announced, leaning out to point to the horizon. Avatar Aang's metal statue stood tall, posing offhandedly with the signature sniper away from the city, a menacing reminder of his bravery in battle. She paid a silent respect to her grandfather. Her stomach turned in knots with anxiety as they neared the familiar city.

"Asami Sato, don't let me down," she whispered.

Pepper landed on the rooftop of the Sato engineering school. Asami stood with a few of her employees, waiting for the Western Temple group's arrival. The bison grumbled, breathing through their mouth. Kiana popped open her water sack to gently wash the bison's snout and nostrils. The creature did not mind the gentle washing, having grown used to the treatment by now.

Jinora was helped by Nora to get herself into her wheelchair. Asami appeared surprised by Jinorah's disability. In truth, they hadn't seen each other in nearly a year.

"Oh, Jinorah," she trailed off, unsure what to say. The airbender glared at her, a silent gesture of "don't even think about it." The non-bender smiled. "It's good to see you in the flesh again."

"Yes, it's been a while," she replied blankly, pushing her wheels toward the businesswoman.

"These folks are my satomail department," she gestured the toward three people. They were a Southern Water Tribe serpent man, Earth griffon man, and Fire Dragon woman in their human forms, of course. They wore the familiar Sato Industry uniforms, as well as unique badges only worn by satomail department members. Jinorah pursed her lips in a tight line. She did not want to speak to these strangers. It was obvious to her that they could bend.

"I'm Saku," the earthbender said. "This is Isha," her gestured to the firebender. "And Tsun." The waterbender.

"We're new to the team, but it's a great honor to serve a descendant of Avatar Aang," Tsun smiled at Jinorah. She nodded in response. Senma stepped forward, bowing with her fist in her palm. Yehn, Nora, and Kiana followed in suit.

"Thank you for your service, all of you," Senma said.

"It's a pleasure to help," Asami replied, bowing as well. "Now, let me show you what I've worked on."

"It's already done?" Jinorah asked the senior nurse.

"Oh, yes. I sent your measurements and other information ahead of time. Your legs have been built for about a week now," Senma explained.

"We can't upgrade to satomail just yet because the procedure requires surgery," Asami chimed in, beginning to walk them to the roof door. "I'm starting you with prosthetic limbs to get used to feeling of walking. I know you're familiar with wooden legs. But our platinum model is more durable and immune to metal bending."

"How long until I get the real satomail?" Jinorah asked her.

"Since the requirements are a little different, it'd be four more months," Asami replied.

"Four? I might not be here in four months," the irbender frowned. This already seemed like a hopeless cause.

"I promise I will have your permanent legs by then," the businesswoman reassured the 19-year-old. Jinorah only felt that dreadful pit in her stomach deepen, but said nothing. The look on her face was that of frustration. Why did everything have to happen so slowly with time running out?

The group of nine got into an elevator from the rooftop, down to floor 9 of 24 floors, including two basement floors. The engineering school attracted students and instructors from all over the elemental world, including waterbenders and airbenders outside the war.

Jinorah was pushed by Yehn, which she allowed in favor of resting her sore arm muscles. Tsun opened the door to room 920, a decently sized lab for building prosthetic limb parts. Arms, legs, hands, face masks, and more items hung in organized lines all around her. There were four desks with their respective messes of sketches, supplies, and tools, and an assembly line across the 20-foot stretch of lab space. Jinorah's set on a pair of metal legs on a separate line from the other body parts. Asami took the legs down individually. Yehn pushed her wheelchair to viewed the prosthetic limbs closer.

The design was basic down the simple shaping of the feet. The legs appeared to be the size of her old fleshy legs; even the feet were accurate, but shaped with no prosthetic toes. She looked at Asami. The non-bender nodded approvingly. She felt her hand along the thigh portion of the right leg down to its shin, calf, and ankle.

"These are only temporary, until your satomail legs are ready for the operation," Asami reminded her. Jinorah exhaled. Her belt didn't ache, but she still felt nervous about the new type of training ahead of her.