A/N: Back again! I've been trying to challenge myself a bit more, adding some more "meat" to the chapters, these characters are amazing and I'm enjoying my little jaunt with them, and I want to keep it going for as long as I can before I move onto my next story. (Which will be more written out than this one, I can promise you all that). But I figured, what better place to go to after that little Caskett confrontation was to… you guessed it! More Caskett! I couldn't help myself and I kept going and going with it. Hopefully it is as enjoyable to you as it was to me when I wrote it. Enjoy the newest installment and I'll catch you wonderful people on the next one, have a great weekend!
Chapter VIII
Hell of a night, had been a vast understatement, if anything that Castle had learned in the past 24 hours was anything to go by, and he had already gone through that much, but Kate?
Kate was going to get the truly short end of the stick, because her whole world was about to get turned upside down, and after the heat from that kiss had simmered down, realized that it was going to happen sometime within the next few hours if Roy still felt like being on a truth roll.
The two had long since broken their locked eyes, regretfully, but work had to be done, he assumed that the two of them would be talking later, especially after that kiss…
But it was business right now, because if the hit squad was any indication, things were definitely not cooling down.
The moment, however, was definitely not lost on Ryan and Esposito, enjoying the new silver lining in this case, a development in their friends' relationship, and they both non-verbally agreed to file that away for later, the teasing and joking could come after they put a neat little bow on this case. The two detectives instead opted to move to investigate the tied-up assailants in the dining room, leaving the big three standing in the entry area of the home.
After the two had left, the room had been mostly silent, and the space between all three was… quite vast to say the least, except the distance between Kate and Rick was a bit closer, and that gave him a little bit of comfort, but not the incredulous look she had on her face, the look when she was in detective mode, and he could practically feel the confusion/anger radiating off of her.
Hell, she was kind of hard to read right now, so he'd just chalk it up to that.
Eventually breaking free of his reverie, Castle finally realized the look that Kate was shooting at her captain, and with eyes darting back and forth between the two, knew it was not about to be good. Because if he was in her shoes?
Yeah, it was not looking pretty for Montgomery at all right now.
So he definitely wasn't going to be involved with this conversation right now, so he started to very gingerly, slink away, find something to busy himself so he could avoid how badly this was going to go. But apparently Kate had sensed his very subtle movement, and shot her left hand out to grasp his right wrist, stopping him in his tracks.
He glanced down at his hand, before quickly looking back up at the detective that was now attached to it, but her eyesight was still leveled on her captain.
"Castle," she spoke in a demanding tone, the kind of tone you'd hear when you were getting in trouble with your parents. Although he hadn't necessarily done anything wrong, he still felt guilty, it was all in the delivery. Letting him marinate in that thought for a moment, Kate eventually turned to look at him, with fire in her eyes and a set jaw.
Oh yeah, this was not going to go well.
"Where do you think you're going?"
He didn't necessarily have an excuse ready at the time, so he loosely gestured to the kitchen, but as soon as he did, he was reminded of the pain in his shoulder, causing him to cringe at the jolt it shot through his body, once again. A joke about making coffee was going to be his out, but, after being reminded of his new injury, knew he needed to treat it first.
"I was-uhh… going to go… find some bandages?"
Her eyes dropped at his comment to his shoulder, and it was then that her eyes went wide at the faint crimson stain starting to seep through his jacket. The fire that was present in her eyes just a moment ago was now extinguished, replaced with concern and worry.
"I thought you just tweaked your shoulder," she sounded guilty, almost as if it was her fault that she'd caused him the pain, and, of course, he waved it off in the traditional Castle charm, but she wasn't having any of it, already mindlessly pushing him off to the bathroom to doctor him up properly since it was obviously worse than a dislocation.
Roy was the last one left standing in the common area of the house, he wasn't entirely sure what to do other than to wait, wait for the questions to come spewing out at him from his protégé.
Out of the corner of his eye, he took notice of the chairs that sat underneath the table in the front entry, his wife had decided to put them there, saying that it would be nice to have a place to play a board game or have morning coffee while they gazed out of the large window next to it, so he charged himself with the directive of making his way into one of those chairs, and waiting, waiting for the inevitable pain he was about to cause.
She had found the bathroom rather quickly; it wasn't like she had never been here after all. She had been invited a few times by Roy and his wife to come have dinner with them and their kids, and a few times she had accepted, but sometimes she wound up staying past dinner, talking about various topics between the other two adults, so she became well acquainted with the first floor of the house, at least.
After shoving him through the door, avoiding his protests that he was indeed, fine, she knew he wasn't. That amount of blood that had stained his jacket had to have had something to do with falling out of that window, probably some broken glass had cut him well. But she couldn't see the damage still because the power was out.
Frustratingly she flicked the switch, on and off, on and off, but nothing, and her patience was wearing a bit thin.
Rick had sensed her frustration, and placed his hand on hers that had taken up residence on the bathroom sink, gently rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb, attempting to soothe her a bit.
And damn it if it didn't work.
That man's touch that she had so desperately been needing, and now that she had it, it was easy to relax, at least just a little bit, given the circumstances. Then, as if that wasn't enough, he spoke, his voice low and rumbled in the acoustics of the small bathroom.
"I'm sorry about all this Kate," at the use of her first name, she turned to look at his blue eyes, tears threatening to pierce the veil of fortitude she was putting up.
A lot of emotions were warring in her right now, and her anchor was now standing before her, soothingly massaging her hand, keeping her grounded in the present.
She was so grateful that he was okay, at least for the most part. If anything had been discovered by her since he had gone off the grid, it was that she needed him. The summer where he was away was different, she knew he was still alive and well then, but she had waited too long to tell him what she wanted to, and she had been paying for it ever since, at least until Castle had split with Gina not long ago, and that jealousy that had been there since that summer had finally dissipated, but she had been with Josh, and that threw a wrench in the plans.
But now, she had no obligations, and recognizing how different the situation was, after all, she didn't know where he had gone, he had gotten hurt and was on the run from… someone, that much was apparent. All that mattered now though, was that he was here, so she wasn't going to let this become another missed opportunity in a sea of regrets they both had cast off into deep waters in.
Her hand delicately took up residence on the left side of his face, which caused a fluttering of his eyes, resulting in their prompt closing, enjoying her touch, especially when it was one that she never gave him much of at all. Add that to all the emotions she was feeling, that feeling of dread and the other that she finally had a name for from the morning after that nightmare had returned in full-force and found itself at the top of the pile of feelings.
All she could do was smile, and, as if on cue, the lights flicked on, and both of their eyes winced at the sudden intrusion of light, but they recovered fairly fast, as well as the smile on Kate's face as she looked at the man.
The man that she loves.
"Rick," her voice was wavering, laden with emotion as she had finally found the strength to open her mouth to speak. She wasn't exactly a fan of how her voice betrayed her, but she wasn't going to let it stop her confession, swallowing the lump in her throat and closing her eyes, allowing the last bit of adrenaline coursing through her system to press on.
Castle was waiting patiently, and was quite surprised to hear his first name on her lips, that was a thing that seldom happened, so he knew that something important was about to grace his ears, so he would wait for her.
Then her eyes opened, with a look he had never, ever, seen before in her eyes.
"I… I was so afraid when Ryan and Espo told me about your blood at that crime scene."
Afraid? Kate Beckett was many, many things, and afraid was not one of them. And if the almost non-stop movement of her hands was any indication, she was speaking the truth, undoubtedly.
Her left hand at least stopped moving, after catching itself on the lapel of his jacket, her other hand that had been subject to Rick's ministrations, had twisted to capture it in a grasp.
She was telling him in actions before her words failed her, but he wasn't going to jump to conclusions, not just yet, but he could keep his eyes locked on hers, catching that feeling in her eyes that he was getting closer to placing.
"I thought my world was about to fall apart… I started thinking about all the things you've done for me over the years, the coffee in the mornings, the," a brief chuckle escaped her serious tone, "absolutely out of this world theories you weave, just to make us laugh… me laugh."
That understanding look he had on his face had formed into an absolutely comforting smile, the one that she saw mostly when he spoke of Alexis, one that she had always secretly wished he would give her, and now he had, which had that leaping effect in her heart amplified that much more.
"I was a very different person before I met you, Rick Castle. The… joy in my life had been gone for a long time." She gave his hand a squeeze as her other hand trailed up his lapel to once again rest on his cheek, "Until I met you."
The tears that had been threatening to spill out, had now started to make their way out of the confines of her eyelids, spilling over, etching salty tracks as they cascaded down her cheeks, a visual representation of how much this had impacted her, and the grip she had around Rick's heart, had just tightened that much more.
Seeing her like this, made him love her that much more, even though he shouldn't, she had a boyfriend after all, but if this whole situation was anything to go by, something definitely had changed since he last saw here. So, he did the best thing he could do, what he always tried to do, comfort her. Letting his free hand run up her body to rest on her cheek, allowing his thumb to sweep at the rebellious tears spilling out.
Relishing in his touch elsewhere than her hand, she turned her head and kissed his palm, expressing a silent gratitude, eliciting an even brighter smile from him when she turned to face him again.
"I learned something important over these last few days, Rick… I can't go it alone anymore, and if I'm… going through it, there's no one else I want there with me than you."
Oh, that's a big one, does she know that she just said that?
At that little confession, she registered a new look in his eyes, one that she hadn't ever seen before, one that she couldn't read, which was equal parts exciting and scary, but that wasn't going to stop her, not now.
"So, I guess what I'm getting to… is," now her voice was starting to fail her, and she cursed herself silently for her body waiting until now, where it counts, to turn against her. Glancing down at their feet, attempting to gather her strength back up to get the words out, hoping he understood that she needed a moment.
And when she looked back up, seeing his caring gaze upon her, she gathered up the last bit of her strength to squash down the butterflies in her stomach and to finally get it out there.
"I love you."
All at once the air left his lungs, staring at the woman he loved before him, and her staring back up at him through her lashes, bottom lip sucked in through her teeth. She was the thing of his dreams, standing here in this bathroom of all places, with him, telling him the words he never thought, not once, he would hear fall so graciously from her lips, not to mention the fact that he himself had been warring with such feelings.
But now, maybe he didn't have to.
And the very thought of that made him disregard any pain that he had in his shoulder, he felt as if he had died and gone to heaven to be able to hear this, but there still was a concern in the back of his mind, a creeping voice, whispering a doubt to his mind.
What about Josh?
But,
If she told him, then that must mean… she and Josh must have broken up, because there was no way in hell that Kate Beckett was one to cheat in a relationship, if he would've heard the words before the kiss, he wouldn't know what to make of the situation they found themselves in, but it gave him confidence to rebolster himself, get that cat that had hold of his tongue and summon the words that were failing him as his mind was racing a million miles an hour.
After what had felt about an hour since he had heard those amazing three words, he noticed the look on Beckett's face, a look that said
Say something, anything, please.
Oh hell, he was diving in too, and after gathering his breath again, he conjured up, what he hoped was, the most loving smile he could as he uttered the words back to her.
"I love you too."
Her face relaxed, leaving the previous tension behind and giving Rick the most extraordinary smile he had ever seen, and at that moment, he took the second most important mental picture of a sight he would treasure forever in his life.
After his chivalrous act of wiping away her tears, his right hand had found its way the back of her neck, cradling her head, idly petting the nape of her neck, as the pair's eyes bore into each other's, occasionally glancing down to their lips before they both leaned in at the third time it happened, all smiles as they came into contact, but faded quickly when skin touched skin, the two being absorbed by the feel of each other.
Kate's hands had both come to wrap around his face, framing it in as she held him close to her, never wanting to let go, not even wanting to break free for a breath of air, truly relishing a kiss like this in private.
Then she got bold.
That much was apparent when Rick had felt her lips separate and the tiniest of movements resulting in her tongue breaching the divide and gently tracing a line along his bottom lip, probing, asking for entry.
This woman is going to kill me, he thought, but oh, it would be so worth it.
He opened his mouth, granting her entrance, letting her taste him, before he promptly pushed back, getting a taste of Kate Beckett for himself.
And she tasted… heavenly.
Exactly how he would've thought, no, imagined. But the one he placed first was the coffee, followed by something that was uniquely her. A few other things, sure, but those two, those two were at the forefront of his mind.
The first was his, bringing her that cup of coffee every day, but now he had access to both, and he was not going to be taking this for granted, ever.
His other hand had found itself resting upon her hip, slowly and sensuously tracing up and down her midsection, prompting a brief moan to erupt from deep within her throat, and that was a noise he definitely wanted to hear again, so he redoubled his efforts, allowing his hand to drift higher and higher until it touched the curve of her-
Ow! Ow ow ow!
He broke apart the kiss at the sudden jab of pain in his left shoulder, wincing as he did so, the sudden loss apparent on his lips and hand when it had left her neck, which now brought itself to his shoulder, putting pressure on it.
Kate was confused for a moment, thinking she did something wrong.
Until she recognized that he was cringing in pain and cradling his shoulder again, and then the second realization hit her, the entire reason that they had come in here, to patch him up.
Suddenly, her face shifted into a furrowed brow and concerned eyes as she felt a slight pang of guilt, after all, she had originally come in here to patch him up, but the for the first time, emotions won out, because she had to get it off her chest before any change of mind happened.
"Oh, Rick, I'm so sorry."
"Don't," he blinked back the pain for just a moment, freeing his mind to speak clearly, staring back at her enchanting hazel eyes, "don't apologize for that… ever."
Maybe it was the way he looked at her, maybe it was words he said to her as he locked eyes with her, or maybe, just maybe, it was the way he said it. She knew he was specific in his vocabulary and inflections, so the caring tone injected into those words carried that much more weight, which simultaneously caused a smile to break out across her face.
The grin had not taken up residence on just one member in that bathroom, because the author was now smiling affectionately at the detective, and she couldn't help but draw her lips to his once more, in a quick and chaste fashion, letting her words dance across his lips as each letter found its way to touch them.
"Never."
And with that taken care of, she set about taking care of the man, fishing out some medical supplies out of the sink vanity and laying them out on the counter, with the most likely tools needed ready to be disinfected.
She had turned back to Rick and realized that he was still wearing his jacket, and that simply wouldn't do, she wouldn't be able to, uhh, well, treat the injury properly.
"Need some help getting your clothes off Rick?"
Castle lurched forward at her comment, legs wavering in their rooted place when he heard her say that, catching himself with his somewhat good hand on the countertop. The innuendo was nothing new, that much was certain, but after that little confession about five minutes ago, he was totally excited at the prospect.
His shoulder however, not so much.
Just the thought of any of that kind of physical activity caused it to protest. But that didn't stop his eyes from widening at Beckett.
"Woah there cowboy, you have a little injury to take care of first."
First? Oh god, she can't go giving little hints like that now, because all self-control was going to self-eject and it would be resigned to another… well, he knew where it would go.
But then there was the traditional Beckett smirk, her trademark that told him that he was such an easy mark.
Only for her.
Gathering up that last little bit of courage to throttle his self-control from pulling that little magical lever, he opened his mouth to at least get out a cohesive thought,
"Give me a hand?"
"Sure Castle."
With her help, he was able to get out of the lacerated jacket and shirt, but she stopped short when she saw two things.
The injury in his arm, that definitely wasn't from broken glass.
And the stab proof vest he was wearing underneath all of those clothes.
"Castle?"
He closed his eyes contemplatively, knowing that tone, she wasn't going to let it go, like a dog with a bone, he mused. But he figured it would be coming out of the bag eventually, something more was going to tip her off that he was a little bit different than what she had originally thought him to be, and there was no time like the present.
Upon re-opening his eyes, he found her still staring at the vest, raised eyebrow, hand on her hip, wait, no, she was studying the vest practically, eyes tracing all over it, almost as if she could get an explanation out of it before she could Castle.
"I-uh, look… can we, maybe patch this hole up in my arm, and then I can explain?"
Broken out of her detective trance, she slowly nodded as she took the vest off carefully, eventually making her way to look at the injury.
It wasn't pretty, that was for sure.
But, then again, blood has a tendency to make things look worse than it actually is, and with a new goal in mind, she grabbed a rag and doused it in rubbing alcohol, which caused a certain author to go tight-lipped and wide eyed.
Oh crap.
She was going to practically torture him patching him up, wasn't she?
"Uhh, Kate?"
She slowly turned her head to look at him, looking all innocent and coy as she carefully cradled the rag right-side up.
"Yeah Castle?"
His throat bobbed as he carefully eyed both her and the rag,
"That, uhh, necessary?"
Then the worst thing he could've hoped for happened, she started walking his way with that rag in hand, ready to put it right on the wound.
"Of course, Castle, we don't want it getting infected, do we?"
He nervously laughed, as if to alleviate the oncoming pain, or to maybe stop Kate in her tracks, but the rag quickly found its way to his shoulder.
And a low, guttural scream rang out through the house, stopping at the kitchen where detectives Ryan and Esposito were going over the assailant's equipment, causing the two to look at each other.
"Remind me to never get on Beckett's bad side."
"Same here bro, I'd hate to be in Castle's shoes right now."
The screams had progressively died out as the alcohol had done its job, thoroughly disinfecting the wound, allowing Kate to finish patching up her partner.
The screams did grant her quite the advantage to tease him about being a big baby, and, to tell the truth, felt a little good to make him squirm after the events of the past 24 hours, but concern was still reigning supreme over it all.
She hated seeing him hurt, thankfully the alcohol had done its job, and she could move onto placing some butterfly stiches over the separated skin, followed by some gauze and medical tape to keep it cordoned off from any outside elements.
Satisfied with her work, she finally shifted her gaze from his shoulder, but didn't go to his eyes, a fact that was not lost on one, Rick Castle, as her eyes had carefully traced over his arms, taking in the sight of him without his usual attire on.
And she liked what she saw.
She definitely appreciated the physical, but the person was what she fell for, the personality, but the physical was just an added bonus, a great added bonus.
She hadn't noticed previously, but when she had been applying the bandages, his muscles had been flexing under her touch, but now she did as she idly traced the veins down his forearm, and she was loving having this kind of effect on him, especially the sight it gave her, each muscle appropriately toned and taken care of across his upper body.
Castle really didn't want to interrupt this little private moment, but they, unfortunately, had more pressing matters to attend to.
As her hand came back to reach his, he softly grasped it, causing her to look up at him, instead of finding his usual smug look at catching her eyeing him in some sort of fashion, she found that he was smiling tenderly at her, but his eyes were nervous, darting from eye to eye, like his eyes couldn't decide which side of her face to focus on.
Before she could ask him what exactly was wrong, he started talking, using his usual storyteller's voice when he would weave some far-fetched tale at the precinct next to the murder board. But his added tone, suggested otherwise, suggesting truth in the words he spoke.
"Story time Kate, and it's a… long one." He gestured for the two of them to sit on the edge of the bathtub in the small bathroom as he took both of her hands in his, cradling them in his lap as he stared at her hands, so happy to see them there, but also dreading dragging up the past.
"It's one that'll explain why… I didn't want to be found by you, why I'm wearing a stab vest, how the tactical troupe wound up the way they did, and why I'm here in the first place."
She had smiled at the small levity in his words, but her breath hitched at his last admittance, but was slowly restored to normal as he tenderly ran his thumbs across the back of her hands.
His gaze was still on her hands, not wanting to look at her, and she quickly picked up on it, knowing that whatever he was trying to say was weighing heavy on his soul, and she knew how that felt.
So, she offered the best comfort she could, touch.
She wriggled her left hand out of his grasp and raised it to his cheek, carefully cradling it as she gingerly asked him to look at her. At the first request he didn't, but the second time he did, when she used his first name, in a way that he had never heard before, in such a loving fashion that he couldn't not look at her.
When she had eventually gotten him to look at her, she saw the fight, no, war, waging behind his eyes. Fire fighting against fire, but as she gently massaged the side of his face, fingers dancing on his skin, trying to let the tension flee from him as she looked him so endearingly.
She stopped but for a moment, when he had turned to kiss the palm of her hand, just as she had done for him, and recognized it as it was, a silent thank you.
That war was over, and she was pretty certain which side had won when the words started coming out again, and as he continued, she continued her silent support for him.
"Well, my uhh… past isn't exactly what you think it is." She shot him a raised eyebrow, "Wait. Before you start thinking it's all a lie, it's not. It's just, a bit more complicated than what you think."
She nodded, silently prodding him forward.
"So, it all started sometime after Kyra left." She felt a slight sting at hearing her name, but remembered the words that she had spoken to her before she went off to get married, and smiled at how true it was now. Not one to get off track, she continued listening to him as he continued to tell this story.
"I felt lost, I still wrote every now and then, and by then I was on book number five I think?" He started to get a bit off track in his thoughts, trying to accurately piece together the timeline, until she gently tugged on his ear, pulling him back to the present.
He released a timid smile as he silently admonished himself for getting off track so easily.
"Sorry."
"Anyway, it was before the Storm books, before a lot of changes in my life, but this one was the domino that set the others in motion."
Before the Storm books? Domino that set the others in motion? What happened back then?
"I was in the Old Haunt one night," he chuckled as he recalled the memory, although the laughter did not reach his eyes, "trying to get through a bought of writer's block… but I did have a faint idea for a book series I wanted to launch, and every idea I posed to Black Pawn, they shot down."
"Until I met Agent Gray."
Gray… Agent Gray… where had she heard that from? Wasn't it from him? Oh-wait!
Her silence now broken, "The guy you called on that con artist case? The one who disappeared after his comment about the first Heat book?"
He nodded, "the very same."
"So, you've known him for a long time then?"
"Yeah, you could say that. I still don't know much about him, truth be told, other than that at that point in time, he was in recruitment for the CIA."
Her eyes widened at his comment about Gray, and she was already forming an idea as to where this was going, but she wasn't going to rain on his parade, let him come about with it, that's what she decided was best.
"He offered me a job, knew something about me not being able to write, and somehow, the guy knew I was wanting to start a book series, he told me," he laughed a bit more, this time it reached his eyes, letting the corners of them crinkle as he recalled the memory, "he told me, I could, quote, use the experiences as a source for inspiration in this new book series, unquote."
Wait a minute.
"So, I didn't necessarily have any ties to keep me in New York, or anywhere at that point in time, and an opportunity like that sounded, well it sounded amazing. It would grant me the opportunity to keep my career as a writer alive, and get to experience some new things, and after my first assignment, I wrote 'In a Hail of Bullets.'"
Her mouth dropped as his confession, not at all expecting this conversation to have taken the turn that it has taken.
"Y-you… you're the,"
Rick nodded, he figured she might need a moment to catch up after that little information bomb dropped on her, but he couldn't help this one little audible confession to her.
"Yes Kate, Derrick Storm is real, and it's me."