Sundays for Sirena are spent at the markets with her mother, father, and brothers, preparing for the week ahead. Just off the square, you can find anything you need: thread, groceries, jewelry, furniture. These stores have been thriving for decades, and everyone in Catalina comes at least once with their families. Sirena loved coming here as a child. The sea-salted air, the bustling crowds bartering, the joy simmering in the atmosphere. Coincidentally, she stopped looking forward to Sundays around the time she turned twelve and her first slip went into the reaping bowls. The place lost its spark, and the happiness she once felt vanished.
Now, she's learned to appreciate it again. Being back in Catalina is restoring. As she marvels at a coral bracelet, she can't help but acknowledge how foolish she was for ever seeing this place as anything but delightful.
The old woman manning the stall shuffles up to her and gives her a gummy smile. "Just ten panars for that, love. The coral was harvested way out, so it's a little pricier than other pieces, but this isn't just any ol' catchpenny bracelet."
Sirena smiles faintly at the woman and tucks a loose strand of her black, wavy hair behind her ear.
"It's alright, I'm just looking."
The woman leaves her alone after that, keeping a vague eye on her as she pesters other shoppers. Sirena moves on to the exfoliating stones, leaving empty-handed. She rarely buys anything, saving as much money as she can for when she finally moves out. There's no specific goal in her mind yet, but her mother taught her that it's important to be prepared.
Sirena runs into a couple of kids from school and exchanges niceties with them. Marleen Felix graduated two years early from the training program the year Thames went into the arena. The other girl, Dewie, is pretty quiet; Sirena's only seen her a handful of times playing soccer in the courtyard next to the canteen.
"You're graduating this year, aren't ya?" Marleen drawls.
"Yeah," Sirena nods. "A lot of kids dropped out early, though. My classes are tiny."
Marleen looks confused for a moment. "Oh, nah, I meant from the program."
Sirena shrugs and eagerly changes the subject. "I'm not really focused on the program anymore. School's more important to me now. What are you doing for your final year? I heard from Angele Cleary that you're considering joining your dad's net-making business?"
"That's what he wants me to do, anyway. Keep the tradition alive. My dad got the job from his dad, and he got it from his mom. Up the line. Not many choices in 4 anyway unless you volunteer for the games. I'm not interested in risking my life to become a celebrity, no matter how poor I get. Especially after seeing Thames in the Quarter Quell."
Sirena's face must darken at the mention of Thames.
"You knew him?" Dewie asks, breaking her silence.
Sirena nods. "Yeah, we were pretty good friends."
No one offers a follow-up, and the three girls just look at each other uncomfortably for a few moments.
"Well," Marleen eventually says. "Dewie and I can't be here for much longer. We'll see you around?"
"For sure," Sirena replies.
Sirena tries not to leave too quickly, not wanting to seem like she's fleeing. She wanders for about ten minutes before bumping into another conversation. Her mother is in front of a table carving place, chatting with Callista Olmos.
"Sirena! Come here!"
Dread creeps up her chest and into her throat as she joins them. It's been two years since Thames' death, and Callista looks to have recovered well. The shadows once beneath her eyes are gone.
"We were just discussing how you're graduating this year," her mother says.
Sirena shrugs uncomfortably. "Yes, once I'm out of school, I'll be working on Uncle Merdan's boats full-time."
If Callista is hurt by the reminder that her adoptive son never got to graduate, she doesn't know.
"Oh," She says. "You're a smart girl. I thought you'd do something more like marine sciences."
Sirena shakes her head. "I don't think they'll take me. There are better students."
Sirena's caused another awkward silence, and she mentally kicks herself. No one likes someone who mopes around everywhere like a raincloud.
"Whatever you do, I'm sure you'll excel," Callista says graciously. Sirena thanks her, and her mother cuts in, turning the conversation into safer discussion. After a while, Sirena excuses herself to go to the other stalls. She keeps walking until she's out of their sight, then she sits down on the sea wall, putting her head in her hands and staring at the pavement.
A lump forms in Sirena's throat. Seeing Callista at the markets has upset her deeply. Why? Maybe it's because Callista, someone so close to Thames, seems to have moved on so well. Sirena has seen kids from District 4 die year after year, even vaguely knowing some of them. Everyone since Annie Cresta seven years ago has died in the games, so why is she so displaced by his death, which happened two whole years ago?
The obvious answer is that they were friends. It's idiotic to try and act stupid. His death left Sirena with hardly anyone else she truly connected with. The kids from training are fine, but she clicked with Thames in a way the other kids don't get. Sessions down at the beach haven't been the same since. Sirena knows she's lucky to have so many people around who are willing to be there for her, but she still feels so alone. So many times she's been invited to hang out. More often than not, she stays home to uselessly do homework. For no reason, because she wasn't lying when she told Callista that she's nowhere near the top of her classes. Not the ones that matter. What does P.E. do for one's resume when applying to be a Marine Biologist?
Four hours later, Sirena walks home, hands full of bags with appliances, fabrics, and non-perishable cans of food. Her parents and older brothers chat about a neighbor's baby, a curly-haired little girl, while Sirena remains in her own little bubble.
"You okay, love?" her mother interrupts.
Sirena blinks, caught off guard. She had been watching a flock of seagulls struggling against the wind over the port.
"Hm? Oh. Yeah, I'm okay."
"You're quiet. More than usual."
Sirena shrugs nonchalantly. "A lot of changes the past few years, I guess."
Moving harbors, classmates dropping out of school, the death of a friend.
"When I was a girl about your age, my parents, my siblings, and I had to move from the harbors to the factories for a couple of years, just to get back on our feet. District 4 was facing a lot of economic crisis thanks to dirty fish oils leaking into Umpaqua Port. It was painfully boring, but we stuck it out."
Sirena tries not to feel like her mother is invalidating how she feels. She has the awful habit of doing so occasionally.
"Whatever happens," her mother continues, "you'll get through it. Nothing would matter if everything stayed the same. You can appreciate the memories you made in Catalina, and you can create new ones in Irving."