A Discovery of all Time

The Kuoh neighbourhood was a pretty little place that didn't have much going on for it. On the plus side, prices there weren't egregious, and most of the people who lived here were mostly families. There were probably one or two houses rented for students who came from other places and wanted to live close to the town's academy. And it was here where the Hyoudou family resided.

The Hyoudou family lived in a relatively modest home; a two-storey terrace house coated with a light blue paint on the outer walls, a balcony on the second floor overlooking the tarred road outside, and a brown roof that was the standardized colour among all the houses. It wasn't impressive by any means, but it was homely, and that had been more than enough.

Key word here is lived, however, because he wasn't sure he could be calling this place a suitable living locale any longer.

It was a strange feeling to be so accustomed to a particular place and be so worried about going there. Not after all the trouble he'd ended up causing, which he was indeed regretful of; people often assumed he was too much of a prankster to truly feel guilt, but he had a heart too. And it was hard not to feel bad after troubling such nice people.

As such, when the eldest daughter of the family made a demand that they cover the reparation costs, Azazel didn't mind. It wouldn't have been too expensive, and maybe that would be a good act of publicity for the devils. A sign that he held no enmity towards them, and was actively looking after the people under their own watch.

Nevertheless, he'd arrived early in the morning to check in with the family, having sent them a text ahead of time to notify them of his arrival. It was Gorou whom he'd been talking to, and the man had told him that it was fine if he came, but that something happened, and that hopefully he wouldn't be too surprised.

And after arriving, he could definitely say that something happened.

He could only gawk at the state that the house was left in; gone was the entire roof of the building, with even the wall facing the southern side, it seemed. Azazel saw all of this and promptly sweat-dropped, wondering how the hell the house had deteriorated this much since he last came here.

'Did our fight actually cause that much damage? Naw, it can't be. Last I checked, it was still intact. Heck, it was literally just the furniture that really took the brunt of things. And I guess it's drastic that they—well, Chiyo—would ask for a complete renovation, but with the state of things as they are now, we might as well.'

"Ah, Sir Azazel! Good afternoon."

The man was snapped out of his thoughts by the cheerful greeting of the eldest Hyoudou daughter, whose expression bore no hostility nor forced kindness. That was a good sign, a grin coming easily to him. "Chiyo. Good afternoon to you too, though uh, I can't really tell if it's good for you or not."

"Hmm? What do you mean?"

"Oh, I don't know… Maybe it's got to do with the fact that your house looks much worse than before?"

She quirked a brow at first, but when she glanced back at it, she sighed. "Right. We had a visitor yesterday. Apparently it was Ddraig's old friend, Tiamat, who came over and wrecked the place because she wanted to talk to him."

What. The Chaos Karma dragon came to visit their household? Talk about unexpected visits.

And wouldn't you know, she'd managed to top his and Six-eight-two's little fiasco. Was that a good thing for him? Probably not. They literally lost, like, a whole one-sixth of the house. That's pretty bad for them.

Actually, now that he thought about it, how is a house's proportions divided? Are they delegated solely to which aspect covers which side? If so, then it could be said that a house could be assigned six parts; the roof, the four walls (assuming the house is a perfect cuboidal shape), and the floor. But that would exclude the rooms themselves, which some might argue is technically the true composition of the house, seeing that they are the ones completely furnished and serving the functions of the residents.

Mind computing all of the philosophy of what a home truly meant, he shelved that thought and proceeded to give the girl a certain look. "Looks like the Hyoudou's are pretty popular in the supernatural world."

"Apparently so! Truly, I find it strange how so many occurrences take place here in their area. Granted, I've seen innumerable impossibilities happen, so this shouldn't really be all that strange, but hey! If Issei's happy with it, then I am as well. So long as they don't try to do anything that may harm my family, of course."

Any poor bastard who thinks they could get away with trying anything against them would be in for a rude awakening. Plus, by all accounts, the family was as clean as it could get. An honest father working his desk job, a diligent mother looking after her family, and a single boy who's far too young to have been involved in anything important.

And then there are the other members of the household, each one with a particularly curious set of circumstances of their own. And judging by the trend at the moment, he wouldn't be surprised if more would show up along the way.

Actually, no. He would be surprised, then not surprised, and finally worried as to how many more would show up and end up being pulled into this family, unintentionally or otherwise. By all accounts, this family was quickly becoming a supernatural magnet, and Kuoh would be getting a lot of visitors for certain.

He sighed. "Well, I suppose we can discuss matters about the renovation now… Where are your parents?"

"Ah, Mother and Father are inside trying to clean up a little. Please, come in."

"Sure, thanks. But I do wonder, how did you guys even sleep in here if the roof's missing?"

"Oh, that's simple. Basically, we…"

It's Like Camping Outdoors

"Okay, bad news. The weather forecast said it's going to rain tonight."

"That's not good," and wasn't that the understatement of the century?

Miki sighed, looking up at the sky through their suddenly-very-exposed ceiling. She had to wonder if anyone in the neighbourhood had noticed everything that transpired, but Chiyo had told her that she put up a barrier around their house to hide any evidence of supernaturality and the like so that no one got worried. So Tiamat destroying their house went unseen by everyone.

Was that a good thing? She supposed so. No need to worry any of their neighbours. But on the other hand, that left them a roof-sized problem to deal with. And with the impending rain, they needed a solution—and fast.

Now, in a very realistic world such as theirs, she might have thought to get them all out and ask someone if they could stay over at their place. Or, if that wasn't possible, they would have sought out a hotel or a few rooms to rent out. Anywhere to at least stay the night.

Or, they could have scavenged some cloth and canvas to cover up the roof, which was not an easy task considering how wide of an area they would need to cover it all up. At best, they could only maybe just covered a specific area and sleep downstairs underneath the cover; better than to sleep upstairs, which would be the first place hit.

But not in this world. None of this was a normal situation with normal people, and what should have been a life-endangering moment was reduced to nothing but nonsensicalness in the end.

"I really don't understand why we don't just take advantage of the supernatural powers we have in our family and solve the issues that way. It'd be much easier."

"True, but we can't always rely on everyone's quirks to help us out," Gorou sighed. "It's practically a deus ex machina. I wouldn't want to end up being so lazy that I'd have to ask you all to help every single time something goes wrong."

"But isn't that the point of family, Father? To help out in times of need?"

"That goes without saying, but I'd feel bad if we always end up making you fix our problems when they're things we can solve ourselves," he smiled wryly. "Then again, something like this isn't something that we can settle in a couple of minutes either, so I guess that defeats whatever lesson I was trying to impart."

"No, it's a mature way of seeing things. Some people take the easy way out, and often for granted. At least you're actively pursuing the antithesis of sloth."

"Right… But, again, that doesn't really solve our missing roof problem."

"And it's about to rain in ten minutes," Chiyo supplied.

The whole family groaned, Issei and Ophis making a comment about whether or not thunder would actually strike the inside of their exposed house. Personally, she'd much prefer if that didn't happen. There was already enough problems on their hands; they didn't need more!

Nevertheless, drastic times called for drastic measures, and though she sided with her husband in the idea that relying on her family to fix their problems was just embarrassing, they needed to make a couple of exceptions every now and then. Only for the most important moments.

And Chiyo, being the dutiful and creative daughter that she was, had an idea right off the bat, smiling brightly as she set out to fix the issue.

Twenty minutes later, as a storm rolled over the little town of Kuoh, everyone slept at the bottom floor and in futons laid out—or, well, none of them were asleep yet, all too busy staring up at their ceiling; and at the very unique sight of raindrops pattering against an invisible barrier surrounding the house.

Where he was lying between Ophis and Chiyo, her son gasped in awe. "Whoa! We can see all the rain, like it's a glass roof! It's so cool!"

That was a good way to put it. Chiyo had essentially turned the barrier around their house into some kind of greenhouse; transparent and yet permitting not even a single drop of rain through. There was even a muffling effect to somewhat mute out the sound, so even if she could tell that the rain was devastatingly heavy tonight, it sounded quite distant, and almost soothing to an extent.

For some reason, even if this wasn't the fanciest of magics that she had seen yet, Miki thought this was the coolest one she had ever seen. And she found herself not minding if they would have to live with the house like this for the rest of their lives…

Sort of.

'I'd still like having a roof. Just need to make that fact known.'

To whom she meant those words for, she will never know. But hey, if there were also dragons and monsters, there was probably some deity out there listening to her. Hopefully they'd grant her wish.

…Wait a minute. Wasn't Ophis some draconic god too?

A flash of thunder filled the world with white, the children screaming before giggling together, Ophis more of a humming laugh than anything else—still more emotion than any of them had expected. Naturally, the energy infected everyone, even Gorou and Nyan joining in with their own chuckles, Chiyo tittering with her siblings, Lucy yipping happily, and Six-eight-two being the straight man of every scenario.

"Well, at least that barrier is thunder-proof. I may be electricity-resistant, but even I wouldn't want to get shocked again."

"Yeah…" Gorou paused. "Wait. Are you talking about a little electric tingle or what?"

"With your children being here, I'll spare you any gross details. Just know that I've had more than a few intimate sessions with electricity that even you wouldn't want to know," both she and Gorou winced, though the morbid moment was cut quickly with his next words. "At some point, it was more ticklish than painful, even when they raised the voltage. They're idiots for thinking one thing will work when it already hasn't the first time."

"I mean… it was delivered in higher dosages, right? Typically, that's already pretty dangerous."

"Then they've forgotten that I'm no ordinary beast," he huffed, some pride colouring his tone.

"That's right! Mister Lizard is an awesome lizard!"

"He, exceeds the average entity, and holds the crown for being stronger than many others."

The children's simple praise had him beaming further, even if his expression didn't give anything away. It was the subtle way he seemed to raise his head, his tail swishing lightly, almost like Lucy whenever she's happy—then again, she's always happy, the cute thing.

"Well, I do not intend to brag, but you speak the truth. That is simply what it is."

"Now that I think about it, since you can mutate as much as you want, and you've absorbed—or at least, been exposed to—so much electricity, does that mean you can generate and amplify your own bioelectricity?"

Without speaking a word, Six-eight-two formed a tendril, raising it in the air a fair distance away from everyone. Slowly, he pumped electricity towards the end, the whole limb beginning to glow pale blue before it crackled at the tip.

The children were obviously impressed by the sight, going 'Ooh…', with even her own husband looking interested. Chiyo hummed. "Impressive. I forget that you're not utilizing magic like the rest of us, and that everything you do comes down to grounded physics and real-life concepts. That's pretty cool."

[Quite. Six-eight-two has mastered the core concepts of science—biology, chemistry and physics—to an absurd degree, making it seem like magic on his end when it's nothing close. Is it really simple for you?]

"It is. My body is just overtly familiar with this sort of thing. It comes down to feeling, and everything just feels like second nature for me."

[Fascinating… How about combining elements to materialize things? Like sugar?]

Six-eight-two made a face. The kind of face that someone constipating would have made if they were really bad; and they'd just eaten a spicy burrito mere moments ago. "I tried once, but it did not end so well. Sufficed to say, it tasted like my own body, and I'd much prefer not to experience that again."

Everyone stared at him.

"You've tasted yourself..?"

"Nyanlathotep, there are some things better left unsaid."

"Hmm. True. Very well, we shall leave it at that."

The conversation lasted much longer than she'd expected, though the lull of sleep eventually overtook the children, who grew silent with time before finally succumbing to sleep. The rest went one after the other, with Miki being the last one to make sure that her family were well asleep with the melody of the rain, and she sighed as she relaxed.

As far as nights go, this was… actually really nice. They'd always slept in separate bedrooms, but to share a space like this was genuinely a lot of fun. It was like camping at night. She wouldn't mind doing this sort of thing again in the future.

Camping outdoors, she meant. She would really want their roof back.

It Isn't so Easy to Decide

With the tea poured into his cup and the story regaled, Azazel had to stop himself from chuckling. Her words painted the entire scene in his head, and he could only imagine just how much fun everyone had despite the whole situation.

"I'm glad none of you were affected too poorly by this. Making the most out of the situation, huh?"

"That's right. It's everyone's optimism that really carried us through. Had it been otherwise, I don't think last night would have been half as enjoyable."

For certain. It was always easy to forget that the morale of a group could be even more difficult to maintain than if it was just a single person acting alone. If negativity stewed within even a single person, it could spread across everyone, and then no one would be happy.

That wasn't the case here, and for that, he was glad. The only person he doubted could have managed to maintain morale would have been Six-eight-two—bastard was far too cynical and moody for that sort of thing—whereas everyone were more than enough to fill a tank with happy juice; Issei, Lucy and Chiyo being the best candidates for that.

He sipped from his drink. The blend of Chinese tea leaves was a fascinating one, combining the mild flavour profile with a bitterness that thinned out to make way for a refreshing sweetness. It was nice, even if he would have liked just a pinch of sugar in it.

Putting his cup aside, he looked back to Gorou and Miki, both of whom were fortunately not looking worse for wear, and who sat opposite of him side-by-side. "So, regarding your renovations. Usually, there'd be a contract and all that jazz, but I suppose it wouldn't be necessary here, since I'm planning to oversee the entire process myself."

"Are you sure? There isn't anything you need in return?"

"Nonsense. What I want are Sacred Gears to study, and while your son possessing the Boosted Gear is interesting enough, I don't intend to bother your kid whatsoever. Plus, Ddraig made it seem like it wouldn't awaken in him," which was a good thing. Kid deserved a good upbringing and a normal, strife-free life. "Besides, I was the one that sort of wrecked your place."

"And Tiamat," nervously chuckled Gorou. "Although, we didn't exactly ask her for compensation. Still feels a little wrong to ask you, on the other hand."

"Nahhh, it's cool. If anything, it'd be good PR work for me," he shrugged back. "So let's talk about the house. Seeing that your family's a big one, I've been thinking that maybe upgrading your place is a necessity. Ergo, I brought an album with several pictures of different houses for you to pick from," he procured the album from a bag he brought, setting it on the table and pushing it towards them. "Go ahead. Take a look and see what you fancy."

"Thank you, Sir Azazel."

"Just call me Azazel."

The three Hyoudou's looked through the album, and there was an immediate trend that he could catch; where Chiyo looked excited with every picture shown, her parents' jaws continued to drop, ready to hit the floor if their shock wouldn't abate anytime soon. It was pretty funny.

Before they even finished through the album—hell, they only just got through a quarter of it—the patriarch cried out at him. "Wait, this is a little too much! The first few ones were fine, but the rest is just..!"

"What do you mean?"

"Azazel, there's a very big difference between a two-storey terrace house and a freaking mansion."

Ah, entry number eighteen. It was a nice design that was Victorian-inspired that he saw on the net once. Sure, it would look out of place in this shabby little place, but people would get used to something with time.

Sort of reminds him of the time he first dyed his hair blonde. Everyone had been shellshocked at first, looking at him as if he was an alien from someplace different, though even they got used to that in the end.

…God damn it, that was just dredging up old cringy memories.

Shivering at his old, teenage self, he focused once more on the people before him, noticing the panic on their expressions. "This is just too much! I mean, the costs that it would take to make this is just… you'd literally need to demolish this house and build it from the ground up!"

"Considering that your house already lost the roof, I think it's not too much trouble," he shrugged. "Plus, you've gotta' admit that your family's pretty big. And I have this weird feeling that it's only to grow even more."

"Same," the Hyoudou's chorused.

"But still, this seems unfair. You only wrecked the living room."

"True. But hey, it's not an issue to me whatsoever. I get you, though; you're a typical family with a modest financial situation, so the thought of the costs can be really scary," the agreement in their tones, minus Chiyo's confirmed his thoughts. "But something like this simply isn't a burden to me. I'm the general of the fallen angels, and considering all the work I do and the amount of funds I've stored over the years, I'm in a pretty good place. The only way I could even make a dent in my bank accounts is if I planned to build twenty pyramids. And even then it isn't enough!"

"Wait, did you—"

"That's not important. What I'm trying to say is, knock yourselves out! The sky's the limit. Pick whichever interests you. It's a once-in-a-lifetime sort of deal. Might as well have the most fun out of it."

The parents still looked uncertain, sharing a look between themselves. That was quickly cut off into surprise when their youngest ran up to their table, hopping on his feet. "Mom, Dad! What'cha doing?"

"Issei, buddy," Gorou smiled warmly, reaching down to pull his son onto his lap. "Nothin' much. Just browsing through some of these home designs. Azazel had a whole album brought out and everything."

"Ooh, these look cool! And so big, too!"

"Sure are," snickered Azazel. "The bigger the better, I say, and that's especially true for a house. Plus, with how big your family is, you'd want more space, right?"

"Mmhm! I mean, Chiyo and Auntie Nyan Nyan don't even their own rooms yet. Except the basement. But we never had a basement before! It only showed up when they did."

Yes, well, he'd gotten enough time to learn the truth behind the two eldritch entities. Needless to say, they were a whole history book's worth of information and more, and it would take a whole long time to truly understand them. Between his hobby of studying Sacred Gears and his side job of helping the SCP Foundation, he'd need to find time somewhere to pursue the world of eldritch.

"Wait, can we have an elevator? In case someone's tired to climb the stairs."

"Sure thing, kiddo. Anything you want. A swimming pool, a greenhouse, a ballroom; whatever you want, just name it."

The more he spoke, the brighter the sparkles in his eyes. Miki chuckled nervously, hand on her face. "We appreciate your generosity, Azazel, but I think it's best not to say these things in front of Issei. You're giving him too many ideas."

The fallen laughed in turn, finding amusement in the excited tone of the boy. Well, he was young, so it made sense that he'd be enamoured with everything. Children were easily excitable like that.

Not like he could truly say much about kids to begin with. While the title 'ladies man' had stuck with him for too long, he doubted he was just about ready to finally find the one and settle down just yet. He had many more years left before him, and he sought to make the most out of it before starting a family. And having kids was the last thing on his mind.

But if he could get a kid as great as Issei here, then he was down for it. And hopefully he'd stay this good growing up.

"Ooh, ooh! Why don't we ask everyone what they want? Maybe then we can choose one that everyone likes!"

"I… Yeah, that's a good idea, Issei. Chiyo, could you call everyone here?"

"Sure thing, Father!"

A few minutes later, with everyone huddled around the table and browsing through the catalogue together, the decision was fortunately made in the end—after much persuading of the parents, of course. All that was left now was to gather the appropriate manpower to actually wreck this place to the ground, then build it all back.

Again, the offer to use magic was kindly turned down on the off-chance that the neighbours be left utterly confused on what was going on. Plus, the need to alter everyone's memories and cognition to just accept the suddenness of it all.

Not like Chiyo or Nyanlathotep would have had any trouble of doing any of that, but to respect the parents' wishes, he supposed they could do this the old-fashioned way.

"In the meantime, you guys could take a trip somewhere. Maybe spend a week away or something," because building a whole house would take longer than a week, and there was no way they wouldn't be speeding things up with just a bit of magic.

"That's not a bad idea. The kids haven't had much of an opportunity to go out of town for a while now," smiled Gorou, rubbing his chin. "Though, that does make me wonder where we could try visiting."

"How about the beach?" Nyanlathotep suggested.

"That's a good idea. We've never brought Ophis there, and I'm sure the kids would love the chance to just frolic in the sand. Lucy too. But for a whole week? People usually just make it a three days, two nights trip."

"If that's the case, then let me handle it," Azazel grinned at their curious looks. "Don't worry. You just focus on prepping for your trip. I'll let you know later on whenever you're ready to go where's your destination."

"Umm… This sounds like you're scheming something."

"It sure is," he didn't even bother hiding it, shrugging with a grin. "I was a schemer in my younger years; I'm a schemer even now," he chuckled again. "Don't worry about it. It'll be good for you. Now then, we'll see each other next time."

Departing from the Hyoudou residence, Azazel quickly phoned his secretary, who was initially exasperated by his request, though quickly zoned in when she realized that he was doing a favour for the Ouroboros Dragon. You don't get a bigger deal than that.

And yes, he was totally planning a beach trip for the family. There was a totally good reason for that, of course. One he considered after much thought given, and realizing that Six-eight-two was now living with them. He still wasn't fully on-board with something as dangerous as him being allowed to remain with a human family, but with how quiet things have been in Kuoh, he supposed he could turn a blind eye and keep this info away from the SCP Foundation's notice.

Plus, they'd be rolling on the floor if they found out that the family was not only living with the single most dangerous biological weapon, but also a draconic god and some cosmic entities. That was a headache he could do without.

Nevertheless, knowing that the family was one that still succeeded in coexisting in peace despite all the differences, he would have to trust them to be able to deal with them…

'How would they take their appearances? Heck, I'm practically heaping them on the family. Hopefully they won't be too mad…'

He shook his head. Well, that was an issue they'll handle when they get there. And if it didn't work out, he'll just have to continue looking after them to the best of his abilities. Nothing would change then.

But if it did go well, then that's one less burden on his shoulders and some new additions to the family. He had a feeling the little brat would like that.

Author's Notes:

Not much to say. Missed this story aplenty, a little short of a chapter than usual, much more fun and antics awaiting out family in the future. That's for sure.