Chapter 4: What the Heart Wants

Kisuke stared into Aizen Sousuke's deep brown eyes raptly, his mind screaming in warning, but his heart in disarray.

This can't be happening! There's no way that this could be happening! Our baby was lost, and as much as I tried, the hougyoku couldn't give me what was lost before.

Why?

Why now?

Why is it possible now?

He stared at Aizen, the answer striking him almost visibly as Aizen's warm hand curved around his cheek.

That's it, isn't it? So simple. So obvious. It wasn't possible at the time, but it is now. It wasn't possible then, because we had to change to make it possible. Now that we have and we are here, we can do what we couldn't have before. There is a small window of opportunity.

Aizen watched him carefully as he turned the facts over in his mind and only continued to come to the same conclusion.

I can revive Daisuke's and my dream.

All I have to do is...

"You see it, don't you?" Aizen whispered, bringing his lips to Kisuke's and capturing them in a long, spellbinding kiss.

And despite knowing exactly the danger represented by the man in front of him, Kisuke surrendered to the stronger call of desperation to undo the greatest failure of his life, the one thing he couldn't anticipate and head off with his powerful intellect.

I was so in love and distracted with having our baby, I lost the ability to see the path ahead. And when I lost Daisuke, I lost the desire to see it. I've spent years suffering over that, and I am only going to continue to suffer if I don't bring home what part of Daisuke's dream I can.

Does it come with strings? he mused, staring into Aizen's eyes and returning his offered kiss hungrily, Hell yeah, there are some huge strings. But...Daisuke was always the one thing that balanced Sousuke's penchant for wickedness. Sousuke loved his brother in a way that he never loved anything or anyone. Damn, I think we both need for this to happen!

He kept his grey eyes locked with Aizen's and nodded barely perceptibly in acceptance. His body relaxed in Aizen's embrace as Sousuke laid him slowly down on his back and leaned over him, kissing him and rubbing his still clothed body against Kisuke's. The shopkeeper's eyes slid closed and he breathed in deeply, taking in Aizen's warm, masculine scent and moaning very softly in anticipation as Aizen's hand slipped under his yukata and caressed his broad chest, earning an aroused sigh and he teased the dusky, alert nipples with his fingers. He followed with his mouth, treasuring each slowly as he watched the powerful reaction in the shopkeeper's expression. Aizen felt a little flicker in the hougyoku and heard Kisuke moan more amorously as the orb glowed and pulsed strangely.

What are you doing?" Aizen mused inwardly, looking down at the hougyoku, "He looks as though he isn't really seeing me.

As usual, the orb did not give any answer.

Aizen's brown eyes studied the shopkeeper's reactions closely as he dampened his fingers with saliva, then began a slow and tantalizing preparation. He probed deeply, bringing Kisuke's hips up off the bed and making him moan more enthusiastically as he found the sensitive bundle of nerves inside him. The shopkeeper panted and thrashed helplessly, his grey eyes glazed over and clearly not seeing as Aizen completed his preparations and positioned himself for entry.

He plunged into the shopkeeper's biting mouth, expecting some lingering wariness and surprised when he felt no sign of hesitation or lingering suspicion.

What are you doing? he wondered, looking down at the orb in his chest again as he began his entry and Kisuke writhed beneath him, staring up at him through unseeing eyes, then shocking him soundly with what escaped his lips.

"Daisuke!"

Aizen froze for a moment, half engaged in Kisuke's body and reeling as a question jolted him.

Is the hougyoku using my powers of illusion to hypnotize him?

Kisuke moaned hungrily and thrashed impatiently, teasing Aizen's alert member and distracting him out of his thoughts.

This is the power that my brother's love had over him. He looks beautiful like this...so enchanting. What a lovely display of just how intense their romance was. But Daisuke chose well. Urahara Kisuke is a fascinating creature...so very intelligent.

It makes me a little regretful I made an enemy of him.

Sinking deeply into the shopkeeper's mouth, he completed his entry and paused, enjoying the fast rise and fall of Kisuke's chest, his eager kisses and the way those searching hands wanted to touch him everywhere. He began a slow, rhythmic thrusting, observing raptly how Kisuke's fingers ran lovingly through his brown hair, then traced the lines of his face, that strong, willful body moving with his. Rising onto his knees, he pulled the shopkeeper onto his lap, running his hands down Kisuke's strong back and taking hold of his soft, white bottom, squeezing and encouraging him as he rose and fell more and more roughly, his handsome face overwritten in bliss.

I have never seen Urahara Kisuke like this...so relaxed and open, longing so much for his lover's touch and surrendering in a headlong, reckless manner to his passions. This man is so beautiful! No wonder Daisuke loved him so much. My own heart is fluttering.

Kisuke made a sound so erotic, it seemed to speak directly to Aizen's wanting privates. The shopkeeper flew off his lap and crashed down onto his belly, lifting his hips and inviting an enthusiastic approach from behind. Completely entranced, Aizen dove down onto his back, entering roughly, and finished with a wild barrage of hard, fast thrusts. They climaxed violently together, then turned to face each other, surrendering to a flurry of deep, penetrating kisses. Finally, they collapsed in each other's arms and dropped off into sleep, Kisuke's muddled mind reliving the nights in Daisuke's arms, while Aizen Sousuke found himself in the unenviable position of feeling like the odd man out.

It's strange. Daisuke is gone. There is no reason why I shouldn't pursue him. He's probably the only man alive that I could see as my equal. And he is getting to me.

His heart skipped as he mentally replayed their spirited lovemaking, but again, he was nagged by that slight feeling of disappointment that the shopkeeper's responses were not aimed at him at all, but at a man who was dead.

The hougyoku is being rather cruel to him, and using me to do so. I wonder what his reaction will be when he wakes and finds himself in my arms and realizes he was just dreaming.

He tried to fall asleep, but couldn't drop off, so he instead, held Kisuke against him, letting his fingers play in the tousled blonde hair and caressing his back and bottom affectionately. Some time later, he felt Kisuke shift in his arms, and the shopkeeper's eyes opened and focused on him. He felt a thin shaft of disappointment at the way the grey eyes searched him for a moment, then blinked and saddened in acceptance.

"Are you having regrets?" Aizen asked, breathing in his scent and forcing his hands to only hold him without exploring anymore.

"No," Kisuke answered quietly, "If there's a way for me to give Daisuke what I failed to give him before, even if it means letting you inside me, I'll do it. And you know me. I never have time for regrets. I'm just on to the next problem."

"Hmm," Aizen mused, his heart darkening into moodiness.

"What's wrong?" Kisuke asked, looking back over his shoulder, "Are you having regrets now?"

"Perhaps. I didn't realize how lovely you are in the throes of orgasm. I think I'm becoming attached."

"Not my problem," Kisuke answered blithely, sliding out of the bed and standing.

Instantly, dizziness swept over him and his legs began to collapse.

Aizen shot out of the bed and caught him up, then laid him back on the bed as he blinked and breathed slowly, very gradually recovering.

"Are you all right?" Aizen asked, briefly scanning the shopkeeper's body.

"Fine," Kisuke said a little shortly, "I just got up too fast. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some things to look over in the lab."

"Would you like me to help with the tests as before?"

Kisuke shrugged.

"Help. Don't help. Doesn't matter to me."

"That is a sharp turn, Urahara Kisuke," Aizen commented, "to seem so fully involved while we were joined sexually and yet to take on so much disregard after."

"What? Are you upset because you know I wasn't with you in my head?" Kisuke asked brusquely, "You had to know that's where I would go. I'm not letting you into my head, Sousuke. Remember, I know who you are."

"You do," Aizen agreed.

There is something not right with him. The hougyoku fed him that illusion of my brother, and used me to impregnate him, using the remaining remnant of Daisuke's reiatsu. It is also stoking Kisuke's distrust of me...creating a smokescreen. The problem is, if I inform him, he won't believe me. He will think I am manipulating him. That's natural, considering I am a manipulating, conniving person. The hougyoku knows this and is taking full advantage. I can't make a move, other than to remain wary and try to anticipate what plan it has.

Yes, the hougyoku is definitely playing upon Kisuke's emotions for a reason. I need to learn what that reason is.

He left the bed and followed Kisuke into the hallway, pausing and watching the shopkeeper enter the laboratory, then he turned away and headed instead to the shopkeeper's hot healing spring. He sank down into the bubbling water, breathing slowly and thinking things over carefully.

The hougyoku is aware that Urahara Kisuke was chosen by Central 46 to destroy it. It also knows that it was created by Daisuke. So, is it just trying to use its connection to those two to convince Kisuke not to destroy it? Or is there a more insidious plan? Kisuke is so focused now on being able to have Daisuke's child, he isn't looking at things with the clarity he usually does. The pregnancy is blinding him, and that blinding is deliberate.

He mulled over the situation as he finished bathing, then dried off and walked back to the kitchen. He hesitated for a moment as he spotted Kuchiki Byakuya sitting at the table, alongside his new husband, Abarai Renji.

"Well," Renji huffed, glaring up at him, "if it isn't the devil himself. You must be feeling pretty cocky, out here enjoying the fresh air amongst the people you tried to kill."

"Renji," Byakuya said calmly, "will you excuse us, please. I would like to have a word with the prisoner."

"Hmph, doesn't look too imprisoned to me," Renji commented, rising and kissing Byakuya on the cheek before exiting the room.

"Is this where you give me a nasty speech about how you are watching me, and you won't let me get away with anything?" Aizen sighed, sliding into a chair and running his hands over his face, "It seems to be the common reaction of everyone here."

"Did you expect any different?" Byakuya inquired, "Renji was correct in pointing out that you did try to murder us all. And you are sitting in Karakura Town, a town you tried to destroy and kill all of its residents. You could hardly expect to be welcomed with open arms...and yet, by Urahara Kisuke, you have, haven't you?"

Aizen looked back at Byakuya silently.

"Don't you want to ask me how I know that you went to bed with him?" Byakuya inquired.

"It doesn't matter how you know," Aizen answered, accepting a plate of food from Tessai, "I will consider myself warned that you are watching my every move. But I expect that. As you say, I did try to murder all of you. You would be unwise to take your eyes off of me."

Although everyone here seems to be completely overlooking the hougyoku. But for most of them, it makes sense. They associate me with the hogyoku, almost as though they think that I still control it. And it is still fused with my soul. But even though the rest of them could logically be fooled that way, Kisuke shouldn't be.

The thought nagged at him as he finished eating, then left the kitchen and walked past the bedroom he and Kisuke had shared and to the laboratory door. The door stood partway open, and though not sure what made him do it, he paused and angled himself to look inside the room before entering. His eyes narrowed in surprise at what he witnessed.

Kisuke stood near the laboratory window, looking out at the calm, blue sky, with tears running in streams down his face. Shocked by the sight and wholly unable to stop himself, he stepped into the room, catching the other man's attention and making him turn away sharply. Aizen moved forward, crossing the room and stopping behind Kisuke as the shopkeeper quickly composed himself.

"There are some results to be entered over at the computer," Kisuke said, his voice slightly muffled and his tone clipped.

"In a moment," Aizen answered, moving closer and sliding his arms around the shopkeeper from behind.

"Stop it," Kisuke warned him.

But there didn't seem to be any force behind the words, and he didn't move to push Aizen away as his arms embraced the shopkeeper and he brushed his cheek against Kisuke's.

"Riled emotions aren't good for you and your child," Aizen offered, "I am only providing comfort you need to gather yourself. You weren't expecting to be able to bear Daisuke's child. And being given that opportunity would certainly cause you to have a strong reaction. I know exactly how much you loved my brother."

"I'm fine. I don't need to be held by the likes of you."

"No, not you. You hold yourself up well in any situation...whether being heralded as a new taichou, being banished unfairly, or bringing hope to the ones despairing at being on the edges of disaster, when one of your brilliant schemes changes the tide."

"You do remember that you are the reason I was banished, don't you?" Kisuke reminded him.

"Of course. And although Ichigo is the one who defeated me, I also know he wouldn't have without your intercession. I know exactly who you are. And right now, I know it is best if you are comforted. You have taken away all of my possible advantages and moves. I can do nothing as you work at undoing the hougyoku. And in truth, I won't be sorry to see it destroyed."

"Not liking immortality?" Kisuke inquired wryly, regaining a measure of his levity.

"It has its ups and downs...much like what you're going through."

Kisuke gave him a measured look, then relaxed in his embrace. Aizen's hands slid down his sides and passed over his midsection, infusing the area with his reiatsu. He paused for a moment at the flutter of life he felt blossoming beneath his hands.

It's cruel. It really is like touching the soul of the brother I lost...feeling the life in this little one.

"Look," Kisuke said, startling him with the somewhat vulnerable edge to his voice, "I know you have to provide the stabilizing reiatsu, but I..."

"You want me to know that you aren't interested in me at all? That you don't want me misreading the way you look at me or respond to my touch? That you weren't even aware I was there as we made this child of my brothers?"

Kisuke looked back at him quietly, still blinking back tears.

"Believe me when I say that I know fully well what you are thinking, and what you were thinking while we were together. But you need to understand that whatever your feelings are, I am connected to this child through my brother. And although you've seen me act like a monster, the love I felt for Daisuke was something you saw and knew existed. I am as invested in this child's entrance into the world as you are, and that is why I have to tell you...the hogyoku..."

He broke off as a sharp pain lanced through his chest, tightening until he couldn't continue to speak. His lungs couldn't inhale and he quickly collapsed onto his knees. Kisuke grabbed him and eased him to the ground, calling his name frantically as he struggled to regain control. And as he struggled, a familiar and now malevolent voice sounded in his mind.

Don't.

Aizen's lips parted in a gasp for air and he panted as the tightness left his chest and he gradually began to recover. He looked up at Kisuke's tormented expression and felt a touch of relief.

He knows.

He knows now that the hougyoku is working us. But even knowing that, he is in a dangerous position. This was a direct threat towards me, but the hougyoku was also warning Kisuke through the hint of a threat to the child. We are going to have to move carefully.

"Are you all right now?" Kisuke asked, sounding oddly sincere, "You'd better let me have a look at you."

"What is the point?" Aizen sighed, glancing down at the orb in his chest, "We both understand, don't we, Kisuke?

A flicker of genuine fear appeared in Kisuke's grey eyes, then disappeared again. He slid an arm around Aizen and helped him to his feet, guiding him back to the bedroom, where Aizen laid down in the bed. Kisuke paused and looked conflicted for a moment, then slid in next to him. Aizen felt a touch of genuine sympathy go through him as Kisuke's arms embraced him and the shopkeeper pressed close to him.

You are caught between twin devils, aren't you? Aizen mused, You have a vulnerable child to protect and two deadly forces you have to manage. You are a wonder, indeed. Such a thing would drive most men insane.

But...if anyone can thwart the hougyoku, you can.

I don't want to consider the fate of our worlds...if you should fail.