I don't own Danny Phantom or Urusei Yatsura
Danny Fenton felt his legs burn even as he forced himself to keep moving forward. He could vaguely see teachers and other students blur past him, not that that fact would save him should his pursuer catch him.
"Fenton!" The blond behemoth cried, scaring off the students lest they become a substitute for the beast's rage. Danny honestly couldn't even fault them; he'd do the same if he wasn't Dash's favorite punching bag. The teen's shoes squealed in protest when he took a sharp turn into an intersecting hallway. He knew he could get away as long as he could get to parking lot; just had to make it another couple hundred feet.
'Two hundred feet.' Danny's mind unhelpfully supplied, 'That's like ninety yards.' Dash was the undisputed MVP of nearly every sport team at Casper High while Danny was one stiff breeze away from being blown away like a balloon. He'd have no chance of outrunning the jock but he couldn't just let himself get caught either.
Without warning, the teen fell forward and crashed face first into the hard linoleum floor. As in, literally into the flooring, through several feet of concrete and into a cardboard box full of meat.
"Dang it!" Danny swore. The teen had grown depressingly used to the basement in the few weeks since The Accident and it was luck alone that kept him from winding up on a metal slab. Danny groaned in annoyance as he saw his two friends waiting at the top of the stairs. Tucker stepped forward with a mighty breath.
"Blood sausage." Tucker announced, "You got pretty close to the parking lot."
"That was impressive the first couple times, but it's really worn out it's welcome." Danny groused.
Tucker Foley was lucky enough to be moderately close to average. He was nearly as thin as Danny himself but the dark-skinned boy lacked the height to turn 'scrawny' to 'freakish'. The thick-rimmed glasses were a point to his detriment but he could be overlooked if he kept his mouth shut.
"It's gross no matter how often I see it." Sam interjected, using a pencil to pull a stray sausage from the boy's hair. "You'd better realize you aren't riding in my car covered in that junk."
Sam Manson was pretty much the antithesis of Danny's number one rule of school survival: blend in. The girl's already pale skin was further washed out under the dark clothes and makeup that she wore. Her face was decked out with several earrings and even a couple small hoops poking out from her full lips.
"Junk?" Tucker reared back as if he were physically struck. It was pretty much the same thing to the black boy. "Meat is much better than the slop you eat."
Danny rolled his eyes but couldn't stop the smile that came to his face. Those two had argued over nearly everything since they were arguing over which crayon brand tasted better in kindergarten. And after the Accident, it was a small part of normalcy that helped ground him in his new weird world.
"Geez, you guys are like an old married couple." Danny joked, which was met with a combat boot to his shin. "Why?!" Danny cried while massaging the injury.
"Clueless." Tucker rolled his eyes before walking ahead to catch up to their rapidly retreating friend. Danny could only blink confusedly before he rushed to join his friends. Occasionally Tucker, Sam or even his own parents would call him clueless but none would ever elucidate. The one time he tried to force the issue had ended with a black eye and a furious Sam if her scarlet face was any indication.
By the time the half ghost arrived in the parking lot, Sam was in the drivers seat of her refurbished hearse and Tucker was in his usual place in the back seat. Danny's hand was on the door handle when a limo screeched to a stop next to them and a large man with a ruddy complexion threw him into the car's backseat.
"Stop!" Sam and Tucker grabbed the large man before he could slam the door shut, which kept the door open for another scant seconds.
"Bring them too." Before the half ghost could take advantage of the opening, a voice called from the passenger seat and soon the two other teenagers were literally thrown in. Had it been an anime, Danny would've ended lip to lip with Sam. Instead, he got her hard head to the solar plexus and Tucker ended up hitting a seat with his shoulder.
Danny forced himself to focus on his surroundings instead of letting his fear get to him. In addition to the red giant sitting perpendicular to him was an older man with a thick handlebar mustache, but the real distressing part was the two people sitting right behind the front seats; people armed with assault rifles. A quick glance through the window showed they were being followed by a few other dark cars and even a black helicopter. The doors were blocked by the armed goons so they couldn't just force their way through.
'Unless I phase them through.' Danny was unable to see the speedometer and was unsure if he could get them to safety before they stopped. He'd need to stay behind to keep them from shooting, meaning that a full transformation was needed.
"Danny relax." Sam pressed a hand on Danny's shoulder and whispered. "We will get out of this without you doing anything crazy."
"Thanks." Danny offered a smile. He blinked in confusion when Sam's face started turning red.
Before Danny could ask for clarification, he was brought back to the present via face to headrest courtesy of the driver slamming on the breaks. "We're here." The mustached man said. Whether it was a kidnapping or an attempt of exposing his powers, Danny took the chance to bolt from the car. The teen tripped on his feet upon seeing the all-to-familiar neon sign and the ufo-like installation.
"Wut?" Danny dumbly asked.
"Come inside, you'll see what's going on." The mustached man started toward the front door, his wooden walking stick clicking with each tap against the ground. Despite everything, Danny's heart slowed to its normal rate. The teen entered through the door with an undeniable spring in his step.
"What did Dad do this time?" Danny yelled.
"Accidentally create a black hole that swallowed the house ONE time and no one lets it go." Jack Fenton groused as he and Maddie Fenton came from the kitchen.
"Believe it or not, your father is innocent this time." Maddie stepped in front of her husband. Jack's usual smile returned for a second before the sentence clicked in his head.
"What do you mean 'believe it or not'?"
Jack and Maddie Fenton were infamous through Amity Park, even without the aforementioned singularity. Jack was a mountain of a man, standing at nearly eight feet tall and was nearly as wide. Maddie wasn't as striking as her husband except in comparison of size difference or the fact that both wore hazmat suits bursting at the seams with weapons.
"That's not important now." Jazz broke in from the kitchen. "You have a…guest."
Jasmine 'Jazz' Fenton was Danny's older sister, but the two siblings couldn't have been more different. While Danny was freakishly tall, Jazz was only slightly taller than the average teenage girl. Her hair was the color of rust to Danny's obsidian, and she wasn't as thin as Danny nor as wide as their father. But what really separated the two was that while Danny struggled to survive in anonymity, Jazz thrived in prominence.
Danny couldn't help but gulp in worry about how his family was acting. For a guest to elicit such a reaction, it'd have to either be really good or really bad. And with his luck?
"Oh boy." The teen followed his family, but he grew confused upon passing the threshold. The only difference from when he left home that morning was the mustached man and a large…thing in tiger print set close to the kitchen table. "Where's this guest?"
"Oh that'd be me." The thing turned and revealed a humanoid creature that dwarfed even Jack Fenton.
"Guys, I think I accidentally ate some of Mom's cooking because I'm seeing a giant with horns."
"Nope, we're seeing it too." Sam said, her voice wooden.
"Though not sure I want to believe it." Tucker responded.
"No need to be so stiff, kiddo's." The giant laughed in a way that would've been disarming had it not towered over the others. "Here ya go." Danny dumbly took the card offered by the giant and was met with a chibi version of the visitor below some strange symbols.
"Ok. Can someone please tell me what's going on?" Danny asked.
"The life form you see in front of you is an Oni from the planet Oniboshi." The mustached man from the limo answered.
"That's crazy, aliens don't exist." Sam cut in.
'Didn't we say the same thing about ghosts?' Danny wanted to ask. "What do you think, Tuck?" Danny turned to his left, but his other friend was no longer at his side. "Tuck?"
"If you're aliens, then you have to have some real advanced tech." The boy asked, hands clenched under his chin.
"Why of course." The alien guffawed. "I'll be sure to show ya if we takeover your planet."
"Cool!"
"What?!" The three friends cried out simultaneously. Danny and Sam glared at their mutual friend.
"I mean…you fiend!"
"What makes you think we'll just let you invade?" Danny asked, his powers bubbling right under the surface.
"Who's asking you to?" The alien sounded genuinely confused and Danny fell forward. "We'll leave peacefully if you manage to beat us in a one-on-one duel."
"What poor sap will duel you one-on…?" Danny paused mid-sentence as he recalled who the alien arrived to visit. The teen dumbly turned his index finger to his Dad, to which the alien shook it's head. Danny turned the digit to his sister, again a shake of the head. Desperately he turned his hand to the mustached man and once again received a shake of the head. Danny finally aimed his finger at himself and got a nod the smile never leaving the alien's face. "Why me? Can't you pick someone else?"
"You were picked randomly from all of Earth's residents, but if you reject this then we'll invade anyway." The alien said with the same cheerfulness as if he didn't just threaten to attack.
"Will you excuse us for a sec?" Danny didn't let the alien respond before he dragged his two friends into the hall closet. "How do I get out of this?!"
"You could always pretend to break your leg or something." Tucker said.
"Brilliant!" Danny picked up a Fenton Anti-Creep Stick that had been sitting against the wall.
"Wait!" Sam stopped the boy before he could bring the weapon down onto his own leg. "Even if they accepted this, you're the only human on Earth that could possibly beat that thing."
"Are you kidding? That alien has ten feet and a few thousand pounds on me!"
"I only weigh three hundred of your weight units." The alien called from the other room.
"I can't even handle Dash." Danny forced himself to whisper.
"That's because you don't use your full abilities." It only took the teen a second to realize what his friend was talking about.
"We're trying to keep attention off me, remember?"
"Sorry D, but Sam does have a point." Tucker interjected.
"Not you too. I can barely control my powers, how am I supposed to beat a three hundred pound alien?"
"Either you win or we rename the Earth Alienville." Sam saw the look on her friend's face. "And you'll be the most hated human on Earth."
"…Fine, I'll do it." Danny groaned before returning to the kitchen. "I'm in, when do we duel?"
"Oh, I'm not your opponent." Before Danny could ask his next question, the entire room shook as something flew overhead. "Sounds like your opponent has arrived, just in time." The room exploded in a shower of lightning, sending every human flying. Danny forced himself to his feet, coughing as he did. The half ghost felt his heart rate spike as the dust slowly dissipated. What kind of monster would take the place of the giant alien for Earth's fate? When the dust finally settled, Danny's heart had kept pace, but for a completely different reason.
The new alien stood around 5"3' with dainty horns poking out from long iridescent hair framing a round face and amber eyes. Her body was smooth as plaster, without so much as blemish marking her skin. The tiger-print bikini she wore did very little to hide her large breasts, round behind or the thin waist.
"My name is Lum and I'll be your opponent." The girl's voice was light and melodic, almost like a bell.
"Hnng," Danny tried to speak. Faintly he could feel his waist grow cooler, but all he could focus on was how numb his tongue felt.
"You humans have strange customs." Lum said.
Sam slapped Danny hard enough to leave his ears ringing, luckily that was enough to force the teen back to his senses. "So I'm supposed to fight you?" Danny asked as he pulled his pants back up. He might not have been able to fight Dash, but even he could beat a girl like this.
"You won't be fighting her." The large alien said, "You'll be playing tag. If you manage to grab Lum's horns within ten days, we'll leave Earth peacefully."
"That's it?" The last of Danny's nervousness left him. He had never been in a real fight before, unless you counted getting whaled on a fight, but he had played tag all the time as a kid. The horn stipulation did make it more difficult, but he'd be able to grab them once he grabbed..a hold? Danny's eyes immediately returned to the girl's model-like body barely concealed by her bikini.
"It won't be that easy, will it Lum?" The alien asked.
"No Daddy."
"'Daddy'?" Every human in the room save Danny cried. Sam saw her friend borderline comatose and grabbed his arm.
"Will you excuse us?" Once again the trio found themselves in the hall closet. "You two were right, Danny can't do this. We need to find an out."
"I'd love to volunteer." Tucker said with a wide smile.
"We can't. You heard them, it's either this or invasion. And I'm not about to become the guy that let Earth be invaded."
"Why not? It's not like you'll win either way." Lum poked her head into the closet.
"You have to win." The mustached man interjected. "For the sake of humanity."
"Get out of here!" Sam slammed the door shut. "It won't be that bad. We can always fight them off after they try to take over. Besides, who knows, they might be able to reverse all the damage done to the Earth."
"Sam." Tucker said, "Maybe you should just tell him."
"Tell me what?"
"I-I…" Sam started. "I don't think this is such a great idea."
"But you were all for it earlier?"
"As entertaining as this is, we need your answer." the mustached man said.
"Guess that's that." Danny gulped.
"Great, now let's get the details ironed out." Danny was pulled away. If he was lucky, maybe he could keep everything quiet and win without anyone ever knowing how close they came to invasion.
Main Street was packed with hundreds or even thousands crowding shoulder to shoulder watching the spectacle. Overhead several helicopters hovered above, along with tiger-striped platforms holding Oni's and floating orbs that presumably sent video to the army waiting to invade.
How did so many people hear about the match within 24 hours?
Danny forced himself to focus on his opponent. Lum was leaping from side to side, her long locks of hair changed color as they shifted under the bright midday sun. His eyes inadvertently traveled to the girls tight midriff and her large chest swaying. Danger no matter where he looked. Danny felt his waist tingle and immediately grabbed his pants before they could fall to his ankles.
"Welcome to the Duel for Humanity." The MC called from a raised platform. "The ultimate game of tag that will decide whether humanity will remain the dominant species or if the Oni's will gain a new planet."
'I think I'm gonna be sick.' Danny thought. 'Is it too late to run away?' The MC explained the rules, mainly that there were no rules except the timeline and that neither could kill or seriously harm the other. By the time the gun fired to signal the start, Danny could feel his body shaking in what was either fear or anticipation. The teen raced forward and despite the clear warning, Lum hadn't moved from her starting position. When the two competitors were within a few feet of one another, Lum leapt clear above Danny's head and stayed there even after gravity should've brought her back to the ground.
"You can fly?!" Danny yelled.
"You should've done your research." Lum teased as she descended enough to speak without shouting.
"I'm actually not as mad at you for hiding it as I'm at myself for not guessing you had some trick ready." That was enough to put a competitive smirk on the alien's face.
"At least you're quick on the uptake."
"I'm stubborn too." Danny raced forward and just as it had been previously, he was unable to even touch her before she leapt into the air. The teen raced forward again, only to meet the same results. By the time that the sun dipped behind the horizon, Danny was on his knees, panting like a dog. Meanwhile Lum didn't even seem to have broken a sweat.
"Welcome to Day 2!" The MC cried. "Young Danny Fenton wasn't able to even touch Lum yesterday, but will today be any different? Let's give the boy a warm round of encouragement." The crowd cheered, but Danny was too busy thinking of his plans to really care of the millions of eyes on him; okay maybe he cared a little. The teen held a Fenton Foamer, courtesy of his parents. The large weapon was unwieldy in his hands as it was built for his dad. Lum watched unimpressed and instead just stood at her end of the street with her hands laced behind her head. Danny found the alien girl through the sights and placed his finger on the trigger. The rules kept either of them from starting the match before the signal, but there were no rules against looking at Lum through a reticle.
Once the gun fired, both competitors moved. For Danny that movement was taking the small squeeze to trigger the weapon while Lum immediately leapt into the air. The projectile fired from the Foamer wasn't a conventional bullet but a glob of ectoplasmic foam and was slow enough to only catch Lum's retreating foot. The girl noticed she hadn't gotten away scot-free and glared at the half ghost.
'19' Danny mentally counted before swerving the gun to his target. '18, 17'. The girl kept swerving to avoid his shots, hopefully not noticing that Danny was purposely aiming high to force her closer to the ground. The half ghost barely allowed the girl a chance to breathe, each shot barely leaving the gun's barrel before he pulled the trigger again. '3, 2, now!' Danny tossed the gun to the side and used the momentum to fish out the weapon hidden in his back pocket. The Jack O'Nine Tails flew forward, racing to the alien bombshell. The girl's eyes widened upon seeing the change in weapon, slowing her reaction just enough that the near miss managed to latch onto her. Danny allowed a smile, the electric shock might be going overboard but once she was down he could grab her horns all too easily. At least, that was the plan.
"Mhmm, delicious." The electricity sparked around Lum and she actually smiled. "Looks like this will be more fun than I thought." Danny shook his head. It might not be as easy as he'd have hoped, but he still had the line attached. He pulled on the line, but stopped when Lum's body started sparking.
'Yeah, why not. Her only being able to fly was way too easy.' Danny's entire body tingled, just in time to avoid the lightning blast. Though the Jack O'Nine Tails fell from his grasp, it was the first time Danny was grateful for his powers.
Lum had pulled the weapon to herself and quickly found the release button, effectively putting them in the same positions as the previous day. Without the Jack O'Nine Tails, Danny couldn't pull Lum down and even the few traps he had would work even less now that she was wise to some of his tricks. Of course, that wouldn't stop him. Danny pulled a spare weapon from a holster and took on the shooters stance he'd been taught since he could walk. The new blaster was useless against anything but ghosts, not that Lum would know about that fact. An idea popped into the teen's head and Danny forced himself to adopt his best poker face.
Lum was zipping between shots, only seeming a little winded for her efforts. Her attention was focused solely on avoiding the energy blasts. Good.
If the girl wasn't so focused on Danny alone, she might've noticed that his shots were leading her directly under an Oni drone or that said orb was damaged when she dodged an energy blast. The alien was forced to the ground and Danny raced to her side. The boy lifted the drone from the prone girl, but before he could wrap his hands around the horns, Lum fired off enough electricity to push Danny into a brick wall with enough force to leave cracks.
"Ow." Unbelievably, he felt grateful for his powers twice in a single day. Had he not been as durable as he was, he'd be looking at injuries bad enough to force a forfeit. There had to be a way to beat the girl without exposing his powers; there just had to be.
For the sake of his anonymity. Err-and the sake of humanity of course.
Danny's shoes squelched as he entered the living room. He wasn't sure how, but his latest plan had left him covered in pool noodles and day old chicken broth. The teen collapsed on the couch and mindlessly turned on the tv.
"With only two days left to the Oni's deadline, many have doubts that Danny Fenton will be able to win." The newscaster said. Danny groaned in annoyance and went to change the channel, only to see the remote had fallen off the couch.
"Whatever." Danny's muffled voice called from the couch cushion. After the day he had, movement was the last thing he wanted to do.
"Next are some people on the street who offer their thoughts." The woman said and the next voice was obnoxiously familiar.
"Fenturd! If you lose this, I'll pound you into paste!" Dash Baxter called, his cronies matching his actions as he slammed a fist into his open palm.
'Well I'm sorry. Catching a flying taser isn't as easy as catching a football.' Danny glared at the tv.
The clip ended and next was a video of Ned Needleman reading a comic book. "I'm worried that if the aliens take over, I won't be able to collect my comic books anymore."
'That's your biggest concern? Mine is more along the lines of probing.'
The next clip calmed the teen as he saw his two friends onscreen. At least they wouldn't be calling him out. "If the aliens do take over, I'll be so excited to see what other kind of technology they have." Tucker said before Sam stomped on his foot.
"I know that Danny will win. Even if he has to pull out a surprise and put on his game face." The girl might as well have winked given how much she was stressing those words. Danny sighed and turned off the tv.
"What am I supposed to do?" The teen asked himself. So far, every trick he thought of failed and he was almost out of time. He could probably win without too much trouble if he went ghost, but then he could kiss a normal life goodbye.
'When did my life get so complicated?' The teen groaned. Just a couple months ago his biggest problem was surviving high school.
"Maybe I should just give in." Danny muttered. At least if he went ghost and won, then he'd only be chased by ghost hunters.
"Don't talk like that!" Jack Fenton yelled.
"Where did you come from?" Danny countered. How did a seven foot tall man sneak up like that?
"Doesn't matter. What does matter is that you don't give up."
"But how am I supposed to win?"
"I don't know." Danny deflated. "But what I do know is that this match is just like marriage."
"…", Danny blinked, "Dad, did you eat some of Mom's home recipes again?"
"No. That's a mistake you only make once."
'It was green and screamed. Most wouldn't need once.' Danny wanted to interject, but stopped himself.
"In marriage and in this competition you have to keep moving forward. Even if you can't see why your wife is angry, you just need to keep moving."
'That's it!' Danny leapt up from the couch, all exhaustion vanished. "Do you have any jumpsuits my size?"
"I've dreamt of one of you kids saying that for years." Jack Fenton weeped.
"This is the second to last day. Let's see if Fenton can–who am I kidding? We're all boned anyway, but let's at least try to enjoy the match." The MC called.
Danny put on a show of donning a gas mask and fixing a mask over his head. The teen switched from his usual short sleeve and blue jeans combo to a black and white jumpsuit. Lum crouched low, ready to race into the air the second the match started. Danny glanced to his friends waiting in the wings, who were wearing their own gas masks.
The gun cracked through the air and both competitors were moving before the sound had faded. Danny threw a round cylinder close to where Lum had been standing and soon the area was surrounded in a thick, yellow smog. Lum and every Oni could only watch from above while the humans below were shrouded from view.
If anyone could've seen through the fog, they would have noticed a bright light flash through the area. Instead, the first sign to the Oni's that anything was wrong was when a second flash appeared near the edge of the cloud dome. Only a second later, Danny tore through the thick smoke and tackled Lum.
"Let go!" Lum sent an electrical charge through Danny's body. The half ghost grit his teeth and forced himself to keep his grip. If he dropped now, he'd have to reveal himself to win. The teen kept his hands tight even as the mask lenses broke. When the two competitors met eyes, Lum gasped in shock and stopped her onslaught. Not one to ignore an opening, Danny used the brief window to leap forward and grab Lum's horns.
"Danny Fenton won?!" The MC cried in shock. "I mean of course he won; I never doubted it." The MC lied.
'Halfway done.' Danny thought as the countless human and Oni camera crews approached.
"Is it too late to get married instead?" Danny muttered to himself, his heart racing faster than it had during the game of tag.
"Ok, if you insist then I will marry you." Lum said.
"Cool." Danny absently responded, before his mind registered the sentence. "Wut?"
"I said I will marry you, Darling." The girl hugged the boy, her impressive chest pressed against him.
"The Earth's first interplanetary marriage?" One newscaster asked.
"Could this be the way our planet will advance to the stars?"
"Way to go Princess Lum."
"She can do so much better." Someone else called.
"That lucky jerk!" The crowd whipped up into a frenzy as humans and Onis crowded around to get news of the supposed nuptials.
"He is not marrying you." Sam called from the outside of the circle, drawing everyone's attention away from him. 'If she wouldn't kill me, I could kiss Sam.' Danny thought, using the chance to duck between the legs of some reporters and use the cover to escape.
As some of you may have noticed, I restarted this story. The reason for that is I looked back over the previous version and realized that I didn't like how it was; and rewrote this instead of changing each chapter on it's own