Sally walked into Lightning's room. Closing the door behind her and taking a deep breath. Minty wasn't there she noticed. Sally honestly was relieved. She had to get this off her chest! She walked over towards Lightning and began, "Lightning… Baby, I've done something horrible.. I messed up!" She yelped. Tears falling down her face. "And.. I need to get it out before I decide not to tell you… I need you to listen!" She yelped. Crying and sniffling as she continued, "Lightning… I… I am so sorry..I was weak.. I did this awful thing. It's not like me! I'm not that type of person.. But.. I guess that is me now.." she muttered.
She sounded so bad. She sounded sick and depressed and horrible for this! "And I know how this goes!… Divorce.. And I can't.. I can't do that.." she sat down next to him and lay her head on the bed next to his hand. Crying her eyes out. The guilt killing her! The pain making her sick to her stomach!
Sally cried. Crying hard as she felt the weight of a hand on her head. She froze. All crying stopped sudden. Her eyes widening when she heard, "What… Did you do?…"
Sally lifted her head. Staring at Lightning. Her eyes wide, her heart racing. She stuttered, "L-Lightning?…" Questioning her sanity right now. And a miracle, he repeated in a raspy like hoarse voice, "What… Did you.. Do?.." Sally felt the tears even more now! She jumped up, leaned over him and hugged him! Lightning groaned a bit as she did! "Stickers! You're alive! You're awake!" She exclaimed. She grabbed his hand and held it tight. "Say something!" She shouted as if she still couldn't believe it!
Lightning growled, "Ouch..", barely was able to get out, "I love you." He rasped. Sally smiled. Her heart feeling warm and fuzzy! She leaned down and kissed the side of his face, "I love you too." She cooed. Crying. "Oh my god! I have to tell the doctor you're awake! And your Mom!" Sally pulled away but he had her hand. He held it tight and didn't let go. Stopping her. "Please, don't go.." He whimpered. Sally felt so guilty staring at him. She betrayed him. She hurt him and he didn't even know it. How could she!? "I won't leave you, Stickers… I'm not going anywhere…" She assured. Then she pressed the help button.
Lightning held her hand tightly. So tightly. Sally grew concerned and asked, "What's wrong?" Lightning grew frustrated and then letting go of her hand, he began to cry. He cried a bit more loudly then. Falling apart. Sally immediately sat closer on the bed and hugged him the best she could. "Oh… Stickers…" She whimpered. He cried pretty hard. The nurse rushed in and her eyes widened! "I'll be right back!" She shouted then took off! Lightning cried in Sally's arms. He was broken. Sally cried with him. Quietly.
"Lightning… You're alive.. You're alive and that's what matters.." The doctor and two nurses walked in. Shocked. Staring at Lightning and Sally from across the room. The doctor walked over and softly spoke, "Lightning.." But he was still crying. It was over. He was done! He crashed and that was it for him! Sally got up and let the doctor through. The man placed a hand on Lightning's and said, "I'm Dr. Tyrod.. Can you tell me your first and last name?" Lightning breathed. His crying coming to an end for now.
Breathing heavily. The doctor glanced at his vitals then said, "Deep breath. In and out." Lightning nodded and tried to. Taking a slow and deep breath in. Then out. In… Then out… Sally hurt seeing him like this. So broken. The doctor then reached up to the wrap around his eyes. "I'm going to take this off now, alright?.." Lightning sniffled a bit then nodded a little. The doctor unwrapped the covering over Lightning's eyes. The nurse shut off the main light in the room, letting the small bathroom light it gently.
Lightning opened his eyes. His vision so blurry. He blinked a few times. His eyes coming into focus. Then he saw… Her… His vision returning. He stared at Sally. Sally smiling. Such happiness her eyes teared up seeing his blue eyes again. The blue eyes she never thought she'd see again.
Lightning began to sit up, but "Ow.." He yelped softly and gave up that. The sharp pain in his chest hurt to much to sit up. The doctor was saying words. Saying something to him. But Lightning wasn't paying attention at all! Lightning glanced down at his arms. The cuts. The healing bruises, the Ivs.. He felt pain coming from his left shoulder and looked at it. The gown was slightly hanging off it enough that he could see stitching. His heart beat hard in his chest. Honestly, he was scared. He was so afraid.
Not even sure what the hell had happened or the severity of his injuries! "Mr. McQueen!" Raised the doctors voiced. Lightning looked at the man. Breathing heavily with wind eyes. The doctor then asked, "Can you give me your legal name?" Lightning had to think a moment before answering, "Monty McQueen." "Very good. Do you know what year it is?" "Uh, 2017." "Where are you right now?" "I'm at a… A hospital…" Lightning mumbled. The doctor nodded then asked, "Do you know why you are here?"
Lightning frowned a bit. Staring down at one of the iv lines in his wrist before answering, "I crashed…" He hated this. He hated admitting this. The doctor nodded then explained, "I'm going to give you two a moment. You look stable. Stats are good. I'll be back shortly to go over a few more things and try some range of motion and move you to a new room. How do you feel? Good to be back with the living, hmm?" Lighting looked up at the man with an expression of confusion and disgust before answering, "My throat.. Hurts.." Grabbing his throat a bit.
The doctor explained, "Yeah, it may for a little bit. You haven't had proper saliva and lubricants for a while. Nurse, get Lightning a cup of water, please." The nurse rushed to the bathroom. Taking a moment. She returned and handed Lightning the small rinse cup. Before the doctor could say another thing, Lightning drank it fast like a shot! But his throat was so dry, he wound up coughing immediately! He sat up, which hurt like hell! The water choking him and he gagged, spitting the water all over himself. Coughing over and over! The coughing hurt so bad! It burned his lungs! He grabbed his chest as he continued coughing!
The doctor rubbing Lightning's back and explaining, "Your body isn't use to liquids like this. It's not use to drinking and or eating. You are going to have to take it slow.." Lightning finally stopped coughing but now he was gasping! The breathing burned and his chest was in so much pain! The doctor grabbed the oxygen mask from the wall and placed it over Lightning's nose and mouth. Flipping on the switch, adjusting amount and held it over Lightning's nose in place saying, "Breathe… Breathe for me.. Calm down…" Lightning stared directly at the doctor. His eyes filling with tears.
He was so afraid. Lightning was afraid. The pain was unbearable, he was exhausted already! Ashamed. What did he look like to Sally!? Looking so weak and unable to do it. Unable to even fucking breathe right!? The doctor helped Lightning lay back down in bed. Leaving the oxygen on for a little bit. The doctor turned to Sally and whispered, "Let's leave it just you for now… I don't want to get him worked up. Breathing and oxygen levels was a big concern during his coma. He's going to be confused and in a lot of pain… Keep it quiet, the lights down and soft tone of voice. Don't work him up.. He may be in and out of it for a while with confusion.. He make ask the same question or say the same thing over and over.. be patient.. it's.. Just exhaustion and medication may make him fall asleep a lot… Let him rest.. Alright?"
Sally nodded. Worried about Lightning. She understood this meant she'd have to keep what happened with Ben a secret for now. Possibly for good. And part of her decided that that was probably for the best. The doctor left the room. Lightning stared up at the ceiling. Breathing through the stupid mask. God, he ruined everything. Every chance, every hope of coming back from this. Sally walked up to his side slowly. He glanced over at her. She smiled.
Tears in her eyes. She may her hand on his and sat down in the chair next to his bed, "I'm glad you're back, Stickers.." Lightning stared at Sally. Everything hurt. It a weird and numbing way. His eyes watered up. Staring at Sally. Sally placed her other hand on the side of his face. "I love you…" She cooed. Lightning nodded a little then said, "I'm.. I'm sorry.." "No, don't be. I'm here. I'm here and I'm not leaving… I'm so sorry.. I love you…" "What… What did you… Want to tell me?.." He asked hoarsely.
Sally stared a moment. She frowned. She couldn't tell him right now. "Not now, Stickers… Let's just be together and be happy that you're back. That you're going to be okay." She assured. Lightning sighed and looked back up at the ceiling. So tired. "I'm tired.." He announced. Sally squeezed his hand and asked, "Actually tired or feel like something's off tired?" "I'm tired.. Feel weak… Feel like shit." He said. Still staring at the ceiling. He could feel his eyes getting heavy. Heavier and heavier.
Sally kissed him on his forehead. Making him blink a few times then look at her. "You're beautiful.." He smiled a little. That smile made Sally's day or night or whatever. That made her smile back at him. Seeing him smile and his blue eyes. She then patted his hand and said, "You go ahead and rest. I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here when you wake up." Lightning stared at her. His eyes getting heavier and heavier. He hated this feeling. This was an entirely different type of exhaustion. Looking at his wife. Somewhat afraid to fall asleep. Worried he wouldn't wake up again….
Lightning opened his eyes. His body so sore. His breathing hurt. The instant he breathed in, his lungs burned and he began coughing. Over and over. Sally rushed to his side and helped him sit up. It hurt to move! Lightning coughed a few more times before finally catching his breath. Deep breaths in and out. In and out. He closed his eyes. Taking a moment. Then he looked at Sally. She stared at him and smiled. He realized he wasn't wearing the oxygen mask anymore.
He looked at his arms.. His wrist. He sighed and asked, "Water.. Please.." Sally nodded and rushed to the bathroom. Grabbing him a disposable cup of water. Giving it back to him. Lightning stared at the water in the cup. Sally then reminded, "Sips.. Small sips.." Lightning sighed then sipped it lightly. Being careful not to send himself into another coughing fit.
Sally then asked, "How are you feeling?.." Lightning sat there a moment thinking. Then he looked at her again and asked, "How long… Was I out?…" Sally stared a moment. Not sure how he was going to take this news. "A while.." She said. "It was bad, Lightning. I… I didn't think… I didn't think you'd make it." "Awe, come on…" He rasped, "I'm Lightning McQueen." He joked. Sally smiled. Hearing him make a joke was amazing right now. Even if it wasn't that good of one. "The doctor wanted me to call when you were up. They want to work out removing some.. things.. and then get you up." "Really?" "Yep. If you can stand, they'll remove the catheter and BMS. But he said you have to be able to use the bathroom on your own."
Lightning's brows lowered as he realized where some of these tubes lead. "God.." he growled. "Yeah… Please… Oh god that's… This is gross." Sally rolled her eyes and reminded, "You have been in a coma." "Yeah… You're not the one shitting in a fucking bag.." He coughed a bit after saying that. Sally placed her hand over the side of his face. "You're alive. Stop worrying about little things that kept you alive. You're alive. That's what matters." She assured. Lightning frowned. Sure, just his dignity was out the fucking door. No big deal.
The doctor and two nurses came in. Explaining how they would remove certain lines and tubes before doing much else. Then how the plan was to get him to stand. Then the plan to make him walk. It would be rough. But Lightning was determined. Sally stood in the corner. Mostly for support. The nurses helped Lightning sit up. Still connected to some IVs. He sat on the bed with his feet touching the cold floor. One of the nurses out some non skid red socks on. Lightning stared at the floor. Feeling a bit dizzy.
The doctor then rolled a walked up to Lightning. "Use this for now." Lightning stared at this thing. No way! This was for old people! Old and broken people. he glared at it. Hating it. Sally noticed and scolded his name, "Lightning…" He glanced at her. Then back to the walker. He gave up and grabbed onto the thing. Swallowing nervously as he began pushing up on it and off the bed. A little woozy. The nurse and doctor on either side. Holding his arms to keep him from falling. Lightning pushed the walker forward some and slid one of his feet across the floor. Slowly.
Putting a lot of his weight on that walker. "There we go." The doctor praised. Lightning slid his other foot. Trying to lift it but his legs hurt so much! They hurt and they wouldn't lift like he told them to! "I… I can't." He panicked. His body shaking. Shaking enough that the walker was making little metal shake sounds. Sally worried immediately. The doctor coaxing, "Yes, you can. Calm down. Keep going." Lightning breathed faster. Trying to calm down. Pushing the walker and scooting his feet. One by one. Moving about a foot by now. "That's it. Keep going. Nurse, fix the robe up please." The nurse tying the back of the robe tighter. Lightning absolutely hated this!
Still shaking. Still scooting his feet forward. "That's it. Let's just make it to the door." Said the doctor. Lightning moved maybe another foot. Looking at Sally by the door. She was probably another three or four feet away. Fuck! This hurt. This hurt a lot! Lightning stopped. Still shaking. His left leg was killing him! "I can't!" He panicked. It hurt! Everything hurt so much! The floor became circles. Everything spinning. He was getting dizzy. The doctor noticed and as Lightning's grip on the walker loosed and he fell the doctor grabbed him up.
Holding him up with an arm around his shoulders and back. "I got you." He assured. Lightning was breathing hard. It hurt so much! The doctor then explained, "If you can't do it, I'll have to have the tubes and lines out back in." Oh fuck no! Lightning was not having that! So he grabbed the walker. Determined. Scooting his feet across. One at a time. "There we go." The doctor praised again. And with determination, he did it! He made it to the dam door! Lightning panted from exhaustion! Sally smiled proudly and said, "Great job, Stickers." He just glared and snapped at her, "Oh yeah, great.. I have to learn how to walk again. How amazing is that." Sally stared. He was just frustrated. So she let it go…
Lighting laid back in his new bed in the new room. Out of breath from walking. When was walking so difficult? Sally walked up to him and the doctor walked to the other side saying, "You did great. But no more unless you need to use the restroom. We can try showering tomorrow night. Now, every day I'll have a nurse and I will come in and ask a few questions. Just standard after what you have been though. It's going to seem dumb, but it's important you answer the questions, alright?" Lightning nodded.
Still panting slightly. The doctor smiled and left. The nurse walking up with a clipboard and asked, "What's your name?" Lightning looked at her answering, "Monty McQueen." "The year?" "2017…" Panting still as the nurse continued, "Where are you?" "In a room.. In the hospital…" "Why are you here?" "… Because I crashed…" "Great. What's this?" She asked as she held up a pen. Lightning stared at her a moment. Was she serious? "A pen." He answered. Then the nurse pointed to the tv in the room and asked, "What's that?" "A tv…." Lightning answered.
The nurse then pointed to the window. "And that?" Lightning looked over at the window. He didn't answer. He stared. The blind were partly open. Enough he could see outside some. He stared and looked concerned. The nurse raised a brow and asked, "Do you know what that is?" Lightning continued to stare out at the window. Now he was worried. He was shocked. Staring. Sally glanced at the window. Confused as to what he could be fixated on. "Stickers?.." She called. Lightning didn't even look at her. Just continued to stare at the window before asking, "Are those?… Are those.. Christmas lights?…"
Sally immediately frowned. He didn't know how long he had been out. She sighed. The nurse then answering, "Yes, Sir. The city really did a great job this year." Lightning's breathing quickened. It was Christmas time!? He had been out over a month!? "What day is it?" He asked with such fear. "December sixteenth." Answered the nurse. Lightning looked away from the window and now to the nurse asking, "Was I in a coma that long?…" The nurse nodded then again, "Do you know what that is called?" Pointing to the chair across the room. Lightning rolled his eyes, "It's a chair. Happy?" He asked.
The nurse nodded, checking off boxes on her paper then left. Lightning looked at the window again. Fuck. "What happened?…" He asked his wife. Sally hesitated before answering, "Well… After the crash… You had a few surgeries and complications.. You had a difficult time waking up and… It was rough, Lightning… To be honest.. A lot of us thought we'd lose you and.. A lot of things happened. We can talk about more another time. You have to rest and heal. The doctor said no stress." Lightning frowned. He could not believe he had been out that long!
Sally then grabbed his hand and asked, "Now that it's aloud, want to let your Mother in? she's been here sense pretty much day one." Lightning didn't answer at first. Mostly because he was worried his Mom would just start an argument about racing. After Robert and now this? Oh he was dead. But.. He nodded. Sally smiled then pulled out her phone and texted Minty…
Minty walked in and she instantly ran to her son and wrapped her arms around him! Crying her heart into his chest. It hurt a lot, but Lightning didn't mind the pain. He wrapped his arms around his mother and held her closer. Minty pulled her knees up onto the bed and crawled herself into his arms next to him in the bed. Crying like any mother would. Lightning holding her as tears gathered in his own. He caused his Mother a lot of pain. Minty finally calmed down after a good cry. She looked up at her son's face and asked, "Can you talk?" Lightning nodded answering, "Yeah, Mom.. Just hurts a little."
Minty got out of the bed. Standing up next to him and fixing her clothes. "God, Monty.. You scared us all." Lightning snickered, "Sorry." "You think that it was funny? You could have given me a heart attack and your brother… Oh, I got to call Chad and the others!" Minty announced and grabbed her phone. "Your brother is gonna want to talk to you!" She added. Lightning stopped his Mom with, "Wait…" He then looked at Sally. Sally standing there with tears gathering in. Lightning realized seeing his Mom's reaction verses Sally's. She was distancing herself from him. Something was wrong. Something was wrong with Sally.
Lightning sat up. God that hurt to move like this. Then asked Sally, "Are you okay?" Sally nodded. Lightning then motioned for her to come over closer. She hesitated, but walked up to his side. Lightning sighed and took her hands in his. "I'm sorry I put you and.." He glanced at his Mom, "Everyone through all of this… Come here." He said softly and managed to scoot over on the bed. Sally hesitated once more but crawled up into bed next to him. Lightning really didn't understand why she was distancing herself right now. Maybe fear, maybe she didn't know how to react in this situation. He just didn't like it.
Sally nestled into his right side. Lightning wrapping his right arm around her. It was the left side and his chest that hurt the most anyway. So this was fine. Sally whimpered and mentioned, "You kind of smell.." Lightning snickered, "Well.. I kind of decided to go on strike against the showers here for a while now." Sally snickered as she closed her eyes. Lightning kissed the top of her head. Her scent smelt different. She didn't even smell like what he remembered. Did he even remember her scent though? Everything seemed different and or new sense he woke up. He was different. So maybe it wasn't Sally.
Maybe it was him. Minty sat down in the chair next to him and asked, "What have the Doctor and his nurses told you?" Lightning looked to his Mother, "Um… Not too much yet. I have to start walking. Tomorrow I can shower.. I'm starving.." He griped. Minty nodded and replied, "You haven't properly eaten in like a month!" "Yeah.." he glanced out towards the window then leaned his head on Sally's. She just closed her eyes and rested. Lightning realizing she was about to fall asleep. He smiled. He loved her. Loved being able to hold her. He hated himself for putting her through this. For putting them all through this.
Lightning then looked at his Mom and whispered, "Do you.. Think I could ask.. A favor?" Minty nodded so Lightning asked, "Could you please buy me real clothes. I can't stand this gown.." Minty smiled and nodded. Standing up. "I'll run out to the mall real quick. Anything else?" "No." "Okay, when I get back, you need to let me call your brother." Lightning agreed with a nod. Minty leaned down and kissed her son on the forehead before heading out. Part of her didn't want to leave because she was afraid something would happen, but. She stared at him from the door. He was going to be fine….
Minty returned to find Lightning passed out on the bed. Sally still snuggled up with him and passed out. She set the bag of clothes down next to the bathroom and sat down. Gazing at her son and Sally. Just so happy that he were back. She walked over and sat next to her son. Lightning blinker a few times and groaned a bit as he opened his eyes. He looked over to his Mother. God it hurt to move. To breathe. "Alright… Sally… Get up, baby.." he said as he gently woke her. "I got to piss… I can't hold it. It hurts. Everything hurts.." Sally crawled off the bed. a little sleepy and groggy.
Lightning pushed up more and pulled the blanket off. Minty quickly asking, "Are you sure you can walk?" Lightning sat his feet down off the bed. He hesitated. He really hated that stupid walker. But he knew from the pain that he would need it.. He closed his eyes and sighed; "Could someone please give me that walker.." Pointing at the metal thing. Sally grabbed it and placed it in front of him. Lightning hated this thing. Hated this so much. He should not have to use a fucking walker. To walk!? He stood up. It hurt. Scooting one foot then the other. Feeling rather ridiculous.
Sally then asked, "Do you need help in there?" Lightning sighed answering, "No, I think I can manage.." Oh fuck he didn't think about how he was going to do this. He hated this with a passion. He was not asking for help. He didn't need nor want the help. Lightning then asked, "Where are the clothes?" Minty nodded and grabbed the bag of clothes. Sally quickly asking, "Lightning, do you think you can even change into clothes." Minty explaining, "Just some sweat pants, boxers and a t shirt." Sally just stared at Lightning. The man could barely walk. She really didn't know if he could manage to even pee on his own. This was bad. This was going to be a long healing process….
It took him a while. But Lightning finally came out of the bathroom wearing the clothes, the black sweatpants and white t shirt is Mother got him. Sally felt a little better seeing him in normal clothes. It just was another step in getting him home. Lightning managed to use the walker to get about half way to the bed then stopped. Breathing a bit quicker. The pain in his left leg hurt. The pain in his stomach, his chest. "Fuck." He growled. He felt dizzy. Sally ran to his side and grabbed his arm. "Lightning." She grabbed his attention.
Lightning began shaking. "Okay, come on." Sally's coaxed. "Let's get into bed.." She helped him move closer to the bed carefully. Lightning trying not to lose grip and fall. Finally making it to the bed. Sally gently pulled the walker away as Lightning held onto the bed. Carefully turning around and sitting on the thing then scooting back and laying back on it. He sighed. That was so much work. Just to walk to a bathroom, piss, change clothes and walk back to the dam bed. It was embarrassing and demeaning. At least to him.
Then someone knocked at the door and came in slowly. It was just the nurse. "Ready to try eating?" She asked. Lightning just stared. Honestly, as hungry as he felt, he wasn't sure about it. The nurse walked over and handed Lightning a juice like box of Beef broth. "Broth?" He questioned. The nurse smiled and nodded, "Start with this. You got to work your way up." Then she left. Lightning sighed. Sally smiled at him supportively. He glared at the box and set it down on the bed. Laying back and staring at the ceiling. He just didn't want to. Sure, he was hungry. But he didn't have any interest in this. In anything.
He honestly could not take this. His eyes teared up and he whimpered, "I want to go home…" Sally nodded, "You will. Soon.." Lightning sighed. He hated this. He wanted to go home now. He wanted out of here. He wanted to be healthy and walk on his god dam own! He sat up and glanced at the broth juice box thing. He sighed. Opening it up and finally sipping on it slowly. Then he asked the women in room, "Did Jackson win? The cup?" Sally and Minty glanced at each other and that answered that for him. He nodded and frowned. "Great.." He growled. "What did Rusty and Dusty say?" He asked next.
Sally shook her head, "Not much.. They were just worried about you. I'm sure everyone will be visiting soon." "No… Please no.. I.. I don't want to see anyone." Lightning whined. Sally softly replied, "Come on, Stickers. People want to know you're okay." "But I'm not!" He snapped! "I'm not okay! I can't even walk right! I can't race! It's over for me! I crashed! Do you understand that!? It's over! I fucked up! I did the one thing you can't do in the last of your career! I… crashed…" he finally calmed down and accepted it. Tears falling down his cheeks. He began to cry. It hurt to cry. It hurt to breathe. Fuck! Sally stepped closer to hold him but he only snapped, "Don't touch me." Rude. Sally sighed. He was going through a lot right now…
Sally and Minty stood in the hall. Lightning asking to speak with Chad on the phone alone.
Lightning sat in the bed. Using his mother's phone on speaker in his lap because it hurt to even hold the phone up. It rang a few times before Chad picked up.
Hey, how is everything going?
"… "
Hello?
"Chad."
Monty!? Mom-I-.. Monty, are you really there?..
"Yeah, I woke up earlier.."
How are you feeling?
"I'm sore… I want.. I just want to go home.."
Yeah, I bet. I'll head up there. I'll pack up and drive down. Are you okay? Can you see? Walk? Move?
"I can barely walk.. I'm hurting everywhere. But I'm alive, so… Can't complain much.."
I'll be there soon.
"Chad, what happened? I know I crashed, but Sally doesn't want to talk about it. I need to know… What happened.. With Sally?"
What do you mean? We were all tore up through the entire thing, Mon.
"Im sorry…"
You did nothing wrong. Just don't die. Please don't die.
"I'm not. Sheesh.. Sally is… Different. Mom is at my hip constantly. She's driving me crazy and it hasn't even been a day."
She's mom. You're the baby. As for Sally, I don't know. I know she kind of stopped coming to the hospital the last week I think.. I think she was just heartbroken, Monty. She even had some doctor from trauma come and see you and try to make sense of all of this. She was trying to get answers while you were out.
"Okay… I'm sorry…" Lightning apologized as he began to cry.
No, no. Don't be. I love you. I'm on my way. I'll be there as soon as I can.
"I'm so sorry.. I didn't… I didn't mean for this."
It's alright. As long as you're alive. I love you, brother. I'll be there soon.
"Love you to.." Lightning whimpered and wiped his eyes. He hung up and began to cry again. Not even able to hold back the tears and pain. He had no control over this emptiness over him. No control of the heart ache and tears. He hated this! He felt funny and powerless and weak. So weak.