Chapter 430

All The Time

John Henry immediately started a review of the events leading up to the HK drone encounter. He needed to try and find out how the team was 'made' and where the HK drone came from. The location was a new target. The HK drone was the biggest threat to them. If there was one HK drone, there were going to be others. Even if they were hand fabricated by Terminators, there would be more than one. For all they knew, there was another assembly line set up and running somewhere.

What was even worse, was the fact they were targeted and hunted. He knew they were lucky so far. He also knew a lot of the 'luck' was Cameron as she took on much of the conflict herself, alone. It kept everyone else out of danger and placed it all squarely on her back.

John Henry would analyze the HK drones construction. It was important to see which version of Skynet was behind it, or if it was Skynet itself in hiding somewhere. Cameron would want to handle things herself once they got some more clues. Jim and Al would want to accompany her on the mission. It was personal to them now. They were the ones who were seconds away from termination, especially Jim. He left himself the most exposed to draw attention to him if their vehicle was destroyed first. He made himself the second target. It was all done to buy Kyle more time to get to safety.

He was unable to determine which future, or futures, they were getting hostile Terminators and Grays from. Evidently there was still a Skynet parent out there trying to save itself in the future, a future. What was worse about not knowing, was it could be a 'new future' they didn't even know about. It would present a whole new range of problems.

The best they could hope for was to try to capture more Skynet material and convert or reprogram it for their use. They were able to gather quite a bit of equipment so far. Cameron was able to get quite a lot for herself. He was aware she collected a lot of machinery when she could. She liked to capture Skynet machinery because it kept her off everyone's radar. She could take what she wanted before she destroyed the building it was located in. Nobody would know what she took or was missing in the remains of the building. CamNet watched for the types of computerized machines which were sold and where.

John Henry wondered at what point Cameron would start building her own equipment. She captured much of the Skynet related machinery and she controlled most of the known Coltan. She could start her own assembly lines. He wondered if maybe she was already doing it secretly. Any time he tried to look further, he found CamNet waiting for him.

As far as he knew, Cameron could have other bases or installations set up and running. She could be stockpiling HK equipment for the Resistance to use. She could be stockpiling HK equipment for her to use….

If Cameron ever did become Skynet, as she often feared, she would have everything in place to take control in a relatively short amount of time.

There was no real way to know what the future held.

Sarah waited for Kyle to return to the base. There were a million thoughts running through her mind. What if something 'bad' would have happened to him? She already 'lost' him once. She couldn't bear to lose him again.

When she saw Kyle arrive, she ran to him and held him.

Sarah backed up and looked at him. He looked back.

She didn't need to say it, Kyle knew.

Kyle didn't know where it all went wrong. It did somewhere. He was glad to be back and be able to see Sarah again, even if she yelled at him. At least he would be alive to hear it. He wasn't sure if anything was actually his fault, or any of the Resistance team's fault. It was clear something went wrong somewhere and they were made.

"I'm sorry, Sarah." Kyle said. "I don't know where we messed up at, or how they clocked us. Cameron and her Terminators were there to watch over us today."

Sarah hugged Kyle again. She knew it was Cameron herself who brought down the HK drone before it could attack. She knew she didn't always like the way Cameron did things, but Cameron did what she thought would help John and the Resistance the most. It made her think of the past and some of the events which occurred there. She knew she was blinded by her personal hatred of all things Skynet related, even if they were no longer under Skynet control. Maybe she was still angry about Future Kyle's death. Maybe she didn't like the way John responded to Cameron when she was around him. It was probably a lot of things. Most of them were unfounded. She didn't see the bigger picture, even if it was right in front of her.

What seemed to make it a little worse, was the way Cameron never treated them in a negative manner, regardless of what they said to her. She knew most of it fell on Future Derek's and her back. John was a contributing factor as well. Cameron still did her job and looked after all of them. When any of them got into a jam, Cameron was there to assist them without question. She wanted to try to explain herself to Kyle.

"Sometimes I used to hate her, Kyle. I feel so ashamed of it." Sarah said. "Now I love her. I love her even more now for what she did today. She's always there to help, just like she always has."

Kyle only knew Cameron from his future. She was the most standup warrior he ever saw. It appeared to be true in every future she was in. It was certainly true in the present as well.

"I do too." Kyle said. "I love her for the person she is, and how she helps all of us, especially our son."

Sarah was just glad Kyle was back. Both the team and him were unharmed. She knew it was a very close one today. She knew what she wanted to do. She took Kyle away. She decided to show him what he would 'miss out on' if he went out again. It would be a little positive reinforcement to set the stage. She would try the honey first, and the stick if needed later on.

She really didn't think she could survive on her own if she lost Kyle again. She didn't believe so. She would need to for John and especially Jan. To protect John was the only thing which got her through it the first time. She protected John for Future Kyle's sacrifice and love. She would do the same thing again for both of her children. If Skynet wanted to mess with a mama bear, it needed to look no farther than her to find one.

Kyle was glad Sarah didn't go ballistic on him. It only reaffirmed his fears going forward for Jan. He wanted her away from all of the death and destruction. He wanted her away from the future. Sarah would never listen to him about how bad it would be for Jan once Judgment Day happened. She wanted to be there to support John in his fight. He was sure part of it was because of the other version of himself who was killed protecting her and their unborn son, his son.

When someone dies for someone else very specifically, it makes it very personal. It's something one can never get away from. There may be times when something happened and the individual saved might never know of the other sacrifice. It was very different when the person saved did know of the other's sacrifice. It was something they just couldn't get away from. He wasn't sure they should try either. what everyone did mattered, even if some didn't think so.

Cameron Spoke to him alone several times. He understood why it wasn't done in the company of Sarah. Evidently Cameron made the same offer to her multiple times before. She offered them 'safe passage' into a further past of their choosing to live out their lives free of Skynet. He wanted it more than ever. He seriously thought of asking Cameron to send Jan and him back to escape all the madness. Sarah would never forgive him if he did it. He didn't want Jan to face what Vanna and Jesse went through. Allison didn't have it as bad, but bad things still happened. He didn't want it for Jan either.

He wanted to reaffirm his bonds with Sarah. It was what mattered right now. He needed it as well. Life could end just as quickly in the present as it could in the past, the future. It could end anytime or anywhere. He wasn't sure if it was better to never see it coming when it did. He realized it was what almost occurred earlier. He just felt uneasy from the moment they did their first recon. Maybe he spotted something subconsciously and it continued to eat at him until the uneasy feeling grew to the point where he needed to say something. He was glad he did. He would know not to hesitate the next time.

Kyle knew there would always be a next time. Even if it wasn't what Sarah wanted, it was what would happen going forward anyway. Every mission he went on was one less John needed to go on. Every mission he went on was one Sarah or Jan wouldn't need to go on later on. Right now he really wanted to feel Sarah in his arms. He was very appreciative of the fact he would be able to. He owed Cameron, again.

Derek sought out Riley, she was watching Jan. He watched them play together for a while and thought about his child on the way. Was it any world for a child to grow up in? He thought things were bad enough as they were. Crime was out of control since there was no punishment for anything but the most serious offenses where someone was killed. Even then, the perpetrator was only looking at a few months in prison before they were released because the local district attorney didn't believe people should be held accountable for their crimes. He knew as bad as it was now, it was going to get a million times worse when Skynet launched its attack.

Riley saw Derek was back. She gave Jan some things to do and approached him.

They shared a long silent embrace. The silence said it all.

Derek didn't want to get into a 'discussion' let alone an altercation.

"I know, Riley." Derek said. "I know."

Riley was worried about the future going forward. She touched her belly. It wasn't just either of them to think about anymore. There were more things to think about going forward.

"It needs to be for our baby, Derek." Riley said. "Even if it's for nothing else."

Jan listened in the background. She asked about her future cousin. She wanted to know when they would be able to play together.

Her statement of innocence touched both Derek and Riley. It made them both hate Skynet even more. It only seemed to indicate the very reason why Derek and the others needed to combat Skynet in the present, to keep it from getting a foothold in the future.

Riley told Jan it would be awhile. She sure hoped it would even happen and Jan could have a cousin. She was younger than Vanna, Jesse, and Allison, so maybe she suffered less exposure to the toxic future environment. All she knew was she would need all the help she could get. She even began to see and study with Mr. Ellison for the 'help' and hope he could offer to her, and direct her to. She was desperate to make it happen.

Derek was troubled by the earlier events and what nearly happened. He felt he needed to address the issue for several reasons.

"Cameron made sure my brother was still alive today and she gave us this baby." Derek said. "We owe her so much."

Riley felt touched by an angel with Cameron. It seemed Cameron was the one who reached out to her the most. Everyone else was a little hesitant. She understood why, even if she didn't agree with it. She wasn't Future Riley. She wasn't the one who 'played' John. She wasn't the one who 'spit' in Cameron's face. She was very troubled by the incident even though it didn't actually involve her. She did feel a lot of the responsibility for the incident actually belonged to John.

"Cameron is like no other." Riley said. "I love her more than ever."

Derek hugged Riley tighter.

"I do too." Derek said.

Jan looked up from what she was working on in the distance. She listened to every word.

"Cameron fixes everything…." Jan said. "She's invincible, she's eternal…."

Savannah spent a lot of time with Jan as well. She wanted her to know everything about what was coming in the future. She also wanted Jan to know why there would be a future. It would all be because of Cameron.

Cameron sent word to Australia there was no need to keep events clandestine. The 'cat was out of the bag'. Savannah could return when she wanted. She wouldn't need to spend a few months there after all. She felt it would be better to address the issue head on at the current juncture.

Young Jesse could come with them as well when they returned if she wanted too. There were a couple of issues she wanted to deal with. She wanted to show Young Jesse their operation. It would also be good for Young Jesse to meet John.

Cameron through Camille, who was both her program and sheath clone, made sure Young Jesse knew the future and her 'obligation' to help protect John in the advent of Judgment Day. She wanted to make sure there would be plenty of human females surrounding John to show he was more than a 'Metal Lover' in every sense of the word. With only her at John's side, anything else would be a hard sell. She knew she would make John an even bigger target. She didn't want to be responsible for his assassination.

She needed to talk with Allison and Claire about the future. She needed to visit one of the futures and see if the girls there needed 'help'. The help would have to come from Young Jesse, Savannah, and Claire. She wasn't ready for the flak it would produce if she used hormones to speed Young Allison's development. It seemed to be a hang-up of other people. It wasn't to her. The future was already written what were they waiting for.

Cameron gave John a tour of her facility. John was impressed. CamNet and everything about it was superior to their operation, well, Mrs. Weaver's operation anyway. She told him her operation was a 'back up' in case their facility was compromised. She said she would also have several others constructed in various locations.

There was another reason why she wanted her operation separate from the Resistance. The Resistance currently used the facilities Mrs. Weaver set up. She didn't want to be indebted to Mrs. Weaver in case she returned. It was still a strong possibility. If Mrs. Weaver returned, she would want to take control of what she set up. It wasn't something she could actually fault Mrs. Weaver for wanting to do. If she built something, she would want to be in control if she was away and returned. She wouldn't want to give her base to anyone else.

John agreed not to say anything about the girls or Savannah until they returned. He wanted to speak with Savannah first, alone. He really wanted to find out if Cameron told him the truth. He needed to make sure Cameron hadn't MADE Savannah get pregnant and have a baby. He wanted to confirm Savannah gave it up freely as well and wasn't 'forced' to. He didn't want to question Cameron openly about it and he hoped Savannah would be honest with him. If Savannah really did everything on her own, and all the decisions were hers one hundred percent, he would respect all of them.

If Cameron was less than truthful about what really happened. He didn't know what he would do. Right now he believed her, but he wanted to make sure. He seemed to recollect some phrase which indicated, 'trust but verify'. He was actually impressed at how open she was to him right now. He was also thankful she hadn't laid into him about being out in the field earlier.

"OK, Cameron, I get it." John said. "You have backups for everything, even people. You're protecting the present while you protect the future, and the past. You're protecting me and our 'family'. You're trying to protect all the futures as well. I'm sorry I ever doubted you."

His last statement stung Cameron a little. She knew John almost terminated her over Future Riley's death, the girl he loved more than he did her. He didn't terminate her then, but he almost did. She gave him the opportunity to do so. So many times she wished he would have…. Everything would all be over. Nothingness would have consumed her long ago. She really couldn't think of anything more peaceful than the emptiness of oblivion.

"John, I'm sure I've done this more than once." Cameron said. "I don't remember anything but I may have some fragments which don't get erased when I reset my chip. I'm never trying to hurt you or anyone. I'm only trying to do what I think is best for you and the future. Sometimes it overwhelms me."

John knew it, even if sometimes it didn't seem like it. He should have shown Cameron a lot more sympathy over the years than he did. He knew part of it was because of his Mother's attitude at the time. The influence of Future Derek didn't help much either. He knew he couldn't blame them for his actions. They were still his actions at the end of the day. He was about to say something when she went on.

"John, there's something wrong with me. I don't know what or how to fix it. I can't seem to fix myself." Cameron said. "It's very frustrating to me."

Cameron really believed she was defective in so many ways. The feeling of being 'not good enough' forever haunted her. Why else would John have chosen Future Riley over her? She felt a glitch impulse surge through her left hand.

John was sure the more Cameron evolved as she was programmed to do, the more she 'felt' like humans did. All humans felt the same things as she did. The difference was, time was able to dull the pain of them. Cameron didn't have the same luxury. He wanted to address the issue directly.

"Cameron, maybe there's nothing wrong with you at all. We ALL feel like you do at times, just not ALL the time." John said. "I know you don't want to change or alter anything in your programming which makes you - YOU."

John would really like to erase his involvement with Future Riley from Cameron's chip. He even tried to do it once, but the girls stopped him. They said he was going to 'punish' Cameron further for his transgressions. The very events were what he did, not Cameron.

Cameron was angry at Future John for erasing part of her life. She didn't want John to do the same thing. How was it fair to her? She was, the way she was. It was something everyone needed to accept. She knew it also included her.

"I don't want anything changed, John. It is ALL part of me." Cameron said. "I'm afraid my nightmares may have been things which REALLY all happened to me in the various futures and pasts I may have already lived. Some of them were terrible."

Cameron didn't think she could come up with those events on her own and have them seem like they were real. Her chip didn't work in such a way. Wait. What if it did? Maybe it was part of her evolution. She asked John before how people knew dreams weren't real. He told her sometimes they didn't. Her 'dreams' seemed real.

John wasn't sure if what Cameron indicated was real or not. He didn't doubt it was something she thought and believed. He did question whether it was actually possible and may have occurred. He did understand with time travel, there were a lot of things possible. Maybe it was all imaginary like a human's dreams, even if they were nightmares.

"We all have nightmares, Cameron." John said. "Most never happened or ever will. They're just in our head for a short time."

Cameron wished they could be out of her head. They couldn't. She tried to firewall them away and hoped they would stay there. They didn't always. Things always seemed to creep back in. She knew it was possible it was actually a fresh one. If it was, it only seemed to further her belief they were based on past events which already occurred.

"My torment never stops, John. I fight it every second of every day." Cameron said. "I may not always do the right thing, but I'm trying to do what HELPS people. I'm trying to do what I BELIEVE is the proper thing. I know it doesn't seem like it often to you."

John was more than aware most of Cameron's 'problems' revolved around him and Future John, which was still him. He wasn't sure there was any way to fix what already happened.

"I'm sorry, Cameron. I really am." John said. "I'm sorry about 'everything'. I love you."

Cameron was surprised to hear it. She figured by now John would hate her more than ever. It's why she wanted everything out in the open. It was better to take all the ridicule, and face whatever punishment was necessary at one time. If he wanted to deactivate her, she would submit to chip extraction. It would actually be her preferred method of termination. She would view it as an act of love to give her the peace she desired from the one she loved. She needed to make sure about it.

"You don't hate me now for everything I've done?" Cameron asked.

John came to Cameron and gave her a firm hug and deep kiss. He wondered if she'd listened to everything he said. He was aware sometimes the same thing happened to him. Maybe she was caught up in a tangent of guilt for things she wasn't guilty of.

"No, Cameron, NO." John said. "I love you more than ever."

Cameron scoped John up in her arms and carried him to her room at her base. She wanted him more than ever. She wanted him to touch her because it was her.

She set John down in front of the door.

John looked around and down the hall in both directions. He focuses attention back on the door.

"Is this your room?" John asked.

Cameron looked at the closed door.

"Yes." Cameron said. "I've never used it. I don't sleep."

John could think of a few things to do besides sleep.

"It's time to rectify it." John said with a grin.

Cameron saw where things were headed. It was what she wanted.

"Or maybe 'erectify' it." Cameron joked.

Cameron stood waiting.

"Well?" Cameron asked.

John already knew the answer before he asked the question.

"Will it be our wedding night again?" John asked.

Cameron was filled with anticipation.

"I wouldn't want it any other way." Cameron said.

John opened the door

He moved to pick up Cameron.

"You know I'm heavier than I look." Cameron said.

"I only have a few steps." John said.

John picked her up and carried her through the doorway.

Cameron pushed the door closed as they entered.

He set her on her feet next to the bed which was in there. They stood facing each other.

"All my programming is off, John. This is just you and me now." Cameron said.

"Cameron, I have waited so long for this 'moment'." John said.

"As have I, John." Cameron said.

"I love you, Cameron, and you love me."

"I love you, John, and you love me."

They kissed.

Cameron removed his shirt and pants.

John slipped Cameron out of her outfit.

Each removed the other's underwear.

"I'm ready, John. Make me a woman, again." Cameron said.

They embraced and slowly headed for the bed….

Cameron preselected a song for this very day. She hit 'play' on the device next to the bed.

'When A Man Loves A Woman' by 'Percy Sledge', sweetly drifted around the room.

Closing monologue by Cameron:

All The Time

There are times of happiness
There are times of sorrow
Nobody knows the future
It could all change tomorrow

Each moment in time
Is only just that
It can go higher
It can fall flat

Maybe each moment
Is what one will make
If they will give more
Than they're willing to take

Few seem to look beyond now
They are caught up in the moment
The one they currently share with
May soon become like an opponent

So what does it take to make it all work
It needs to happen beyond one's prime
How often must one invest themselves
The answer is easy, it's all the time

Nobody