Chapter 435

Calculations

Cameron heard Ally and Bob talking. It irritated her a little, but she knew they cared and were worried about her. She didn't understand why they would worry about her, it wasn't like she mattered or anything. Besides, she felt fine. She wanted to keep the original teams together. There was no need to do anything special on her behalf.

"No, Bob, stick with your team." Cameron said. "I'm fine. Nobody needs to worry about me."

Ally and Bob looked at each other. Cameron noticed. She felt they thought she was defective. She already believed she was defective. Their reaction and concern only proved it. Why else would they worry?

"No, really, I'm fine." Cameron said. "I was just thinking. I have a job to do and a lot of people will need to depend on me. I can't let them down. It is I who must sacrifice."

Ally wanted to give Cameron some support. It looked like she needed it.

"You're the greatest, Cameron." Ally said. "I'm here to assist you in any way."

Bob was unsure what specific event she referred to. It seemed like it could be many. Maybe it was better if he didn't know. It wouldn't matter anyway. Cameron would still go off to do what she wanted, or thought she needed to do. It seemed Cameron always needed to do things for others. It didn't seem fair to him.

"Do you ever do anything for yourself?" Bob asked. "You matter too."

Cameron felt very discouraged at times. All she could do was keep trying to fix things and make other things happen.

"I try, but it never seems to work out. Nobody will listen to me." Cameron said. "I'm fine. Let's go, Ally. Bob, stay with your unit. You're a great leader. Thank you for the female Terminator. I want any you can ever capture."

Bob was still worried about Cameron. He needed to give her two sets of Skynet equipment he procured. Now clearly wasn't the time.

"Affirmative…." Bob said.

Ally could see he wasn't sure what to do.

"We're OK, Bob." Ally said. "Cameron is in good hands."

Bob reluctantly left. He would wrap things up where they were and keep track of where Cameron was at. He thought he should let her know they needed to go over some additional items.

"I'll see you later on, Cameron." Bob said. "We have a few things to discuss."

Cameron watched Bob go back inside the building. Ally still looked at her with a reserved look. She wanted to put her at ease.

"I'm good, Ally, really." Cameron said and smiled at Ally.

Cameron loaded the female Terminator into the back of the SUV.

Ally saw how Cameron looked at the new female Terminator. She gently touched her cheek before she closed the rear door.

Cameron secured the female Terminator and held out her hand for the keys.

Ally thought it seemed like a bad idea right now. She was sure the term 'distracted driving' would apply to Cameron. She wanted to remain behind the wheel.

"I'm driving." Ally said. "I drove us here."

Ally's statement was technically correct, even if it was not entirely correct. Cameron actually drove most of the way there. Ally only drove the last part while Cameron armored up.

Cameron smiled at Ally again.

"Sure." Cameron said. "We can do whatever you want…."

Ally knew Cameron was lost in her own world, the world of endless torment.

Now Ally was really worried.

Bob rejoined his team and they finished going through the building. It appeared there was more going on than it first appeared.

They found what they were looking for. It was a 'front' for a pharmaceutical and chemical start up. They were gathering personnel to manufacture chemical weapons. It was to take place at another location. The training session hadn't ended well for the Grays.

Bob discussed it with John and John Henry. It was decided to remove the 'test' chemicals which were there for the Grays to train with, and replace them with drugs and cash. Those were items Cameron obtained on one of her 'fun nights' out. It would look like another drug deal which fell apart. It would give the authorities a nice concise way to close out what was left behind. Drug deals gone bad were a dime a dozen. The only honor among criminals was dishonor.

John and Derek hadn't liked setting the current operation out. Cameron was right about them needing to be protected, but they also needed to be in the fight. Kyle did have a close one, but managed to survive. Sarah leaned heavily on Kyle to take a step back.

John wondered about Cameron's proclamation to use her TDE, or River's, if she needed to. It was so no one would be killed, and they could get back in the game. He wondered what would happen if the TDEs all ended up locked out of the past. Maybe he better rethink things again….

He thought maybe Cameron better rethink things as well. The Resistance TDE was still locked out of going into the past. The one at her base might end up the same way.

Cameron let Ally drive. She needed to think. She determined it was most important to visit Future John, or at least the Duplicate Cameron there and get a progress report. She was sure she could get there, but what was she going to find? She was almost afraid to know. What would happen if she wanted to stay there and not return? Maybe she could and Duplicate Cameron could return in her place. They could switch off every few months.

It made her wonder about Future Allison. She wanted to see her again. She missed her and cared for her. They spent a lot of time together. It made her think about taking Future Allison and Savannah and going into the past where it would be safer for them. It could be the three of them and they could 'get away from it all'….

Cameron decided if Duplicate Cameron re-established herself in Future John's life, she would ask if Duplicate Cameron was able to uncover what 'happened' before she was sent away. What she wanted to know most was if the relationship was 'intimate'. She wanted to know if Future John stripped her of her virginity. It could be worse too. Maybe she was a 'Metal Whore' once she was first captured. She heard the rumors about it. Maybe they were true. Did she want the information if it was correct? She did. She needed to know.

Based on what Mrs. Weaver said, it still bothered her about what may have happened. What was erased from her chip? Part of her life may be missing. If it wasn't copied, it was erased forever. How could Future John do that to her? Was there some other issue involved? Did he do it to cover up what he did? Maybe he was with her against her will. He may have 'ordered' her to submit to him. He may have programmed her to be compliant. She would really like to know what actually happened. She felt it was something anyone would want to know. She didn't think it mattered if they were male, female, or a cyborg.

Cameron was aware she avoided any contact with her future self, Future Cameron, and Future John, when she was with Future Allison after she rescued her. She was 'afraid' to know the truth. Now it 'ate' at her more and more. The more she thought about it, the more it seemed true. Maybe she should have tried to see what she could clandestinely. Her biggest fear was running into her future self, Future Cameron. They most likely would have been involved in a physical altercation. If there was any contact, it would contaminate the timeline and possibly even create another one. If future John found out what occurred, he may not send her future self, Future Cameron, into the past.

She also wondered what 'happened' with Duplicate Cameron, Future Allison, and Future Savannah. She knew Future Allison loved HER. They built a close bond and a very warm relationship. She hadn't allowed it to go sexual then. It could have happened several times. Future Allison made many overtures. She 'knocked at her door' multiple times. She was very tempted to do so. She thought of what Future Allison offered her.

Cameron WANTED it to happen, but she restrained herself. Now she wondered if it finally did happen with Duplicate Cameron. Did Future John have children with Future Allison and Future Savannah? If they didn't, it most likely meant the girls were non productive and probably sterile. She was aware there were never any children before, even with everything that happened. Future John was with Future Allison and Future Savannah many times.

There was another possibility which could play a factor. It was possible Future John was sterile. He might only be 'shooting blanks'. If he was, it was possible either Future Allison or Future Savannah could still get pregnant if they were provided with viable genetic material.

She wondered again if Duplicate Cameron would trade with her and return to 'now', the present, in her place. If they updated they would be able to pass off as each other. They would be each other. It was what both Duplicate Camerons and her were. They were all 'Cameron'. She was very frustrated. Maybe she didn't know what she really wanted. Maybe she did but didn't want to admit it.

No, Cameron thought. She needed to remember the 'deal'. She had a duty to be here with John. Sometimes it was so overwhelming for her. They made an agreement before about it as to which 'Cameron' would go where.

If Duplicate Cameron was able to get proof she was sexually involved with Future John, she wanted those files back. She wanted her life back. She wanted her first sexual experience back. Maybe her first experience was as a 'Metal Whore'. Now she didn't know what she wanted. No, she did, she wanted all of her life back, it didn't matter what it was or what she did, or been MADE to do. The girls from the future lived their lives with what was done to them. She should too. She wanted to know what her true 'worth' really was.

Cameron made up her mind. She would take a 'field trip' to her future first and the future with Mrs. Weaver second. She didn't see River's future as a major problem. She needed to do it soon so she could talk to Claire, Savannah and Young Jesse. If Cameron determined it was unsafe for any of them or if the future itself was too unsafe, none of them would be allowed to go. She wasn't about to endanger them and lose their reproductive capability. She wasn't going to endanger any of the girls or Claire needlessly.

She wanted to make sure there would be clean water and food available for them. All of her conditions would need to be met. If they weren't, the future with the most problems would be bypassed.

Ally sat silently next to Cameron and held her hand.

Cameron realized Ally must have been holding it for some time. It must have started to glitch. She also looked around and they were back at her base. It didn't seem right. They just left the target location a few minutes ago. Maybe it was longer.

"How long have we been here?" Cameron asked.

Ally thought she needed to play it loosely. She didn't want to get too specific. There was no need to give Cameron something additional to worry about.

"We've been back for over an hour." Ally said. "You were talking to yourself and your hand started to glitch."

Cameron looked at her hand and Ally released it. It seemed fine now.

"It was?" Cameron asked.

Ally debated what to do at first. It seemed it was best if she let it play out. It was what she did. She heard what some of the things Cameron talked about where, when she talked to herself. She could tell they were things which were very important to Cameron. If she would have interrupted Cameron earlier, she was sure it would have caused Cameron even more stress. They seemed to be problems she needed to work through for herself, more than anything else. She even contemplated some additional assistance to deal with Cameron in case the problem got worse.

"Yes. I was about to call Sheila to help me get you inside. You said a lot of things and made a lot of calculations. I wanted to let you finish first, it seemed important to you." Ally said. "I was worried about you. I'm worried about you."

All of Cameron's calculations led back to the same place, the future, her future. It was where she needed to start first. It was where the answers were. Future John was important. He was almost as important as John to her. She needed to look out for him as well. It was all very confusing to her as exactly what to do where, when, and with who.

"I don't know what to do anymore, Ally." Cameron said. "Whatever I try to fix seems to make two other things go wrong. I need to fix the future first before I can have what I want."

Ally was sure Cameron wanted to 'jump the gun'. It was only because there were some 'alternates' available which allowed Cameron flexibility and to be able to manipulate the present and the future. She really didn't think Cameron needed to 'force' anything. She believed many of Cameron's perceived problems were because of the extra females available to her on several different levels.

"Maybe the present will fix itself when it has to, Cameron." Ally said. "All the players aren't even 'ready' yet. The more you try to rush things, the more complicated it becomes."

Cameron shook her head. NO. She was in the future. She saw how things were. By the time it was the future, it was all too late. Everyone would be the same as they were in the future already. The damage Skynet did to the bodies of the girls from the future, would all happen again.

"If Judgment Day comes it will be too late then. The future will repeat itself." Cameron said. "I need to see John and then go into my future. I have to do this. I need to go."

Cameron needed to get started right now. She assured Ally she was alright. She didn't want anyone to dote on her, or question what needed to be done.

Ally was a little skeptical. She needed to deposit the new female Terminator.

"You wait here for now." Ally said. "I need to let off our new female friend. I'll be back."

Ally took the new female Terminator inside Cameron's base.

Cameron watched Ally walk away. She waited until Ally was inside. She moved over into the driver's seat and started the SUV and then drove off.

Ally looked back and saw what Cameron just did. She grabbed Sheila as soon as she dumped the new female Terminator off. They headed out after Cameron. She asked John Henry to track Cameron. They followed Cameron to see where she went. She seemed to head for the Resistance base at first and then she made a detour.

Ally looked over at Sheila.

"Where's she going?" Ally asked.

Sheila didn't know.

"You know as much as I do." Sheila said.

Sheila figured Ally actually knew more since she was with Cameron for hours.

Cameron turned and went into a gas station.

Ally suspected something was up right away. She knew how much fuel was in the SUV.

"The fuel tank was three quarters full." Ally said. "She doesn't need gas, she doesn't need anything from the convenience store, she doesn't need to use the restroom."

Sheila pointed out the flip side.

"It was also a quarter empty." Sheila said.

Cameron started the fuel pump and went inside the little store area. She came out a few minutes later with a bag. She put the fuel hose away and the gas cap back on and then reentered the SUV and drove away.

Ally wondered what Cameron did inside.

"What do you think is in the bag?" Ally asked.

The same question was on Sheila's mind as well. She couldn't think of anything Cameron needed. She could think of something a little more sinister.

"I hope she didn't just rob the place." Sheila said.

It was an unpleasant thought for both of them. There didn't seem to be any type of negative activity from inside the small convenience store after Cameron left.

They followed Cameron to a homeless encampment. She parked two blocks away and got out of her SUV. They parked a block further away. They hurried out after her. Their first thought was she might be going after a future Scavenger. It was something many of the males in the homeless camps would end up as once Skynet took control.

The only positive thing about when Skynet unleashed its chemical and biological warfare into the environment was all those with pre-existing conditions terminated. It decimated the majority of homeless throughout the globe. It left more resources for those who were healthy and fit. It was a major miscalculation on Skynet's part.

Cameron moved into the brush on the side of the road as she neared the homeless camp.

Ally and Sheila did the same thing.

"I think she's going to terminate someone." Sheila said.

Ally hoped Cameron didn't go berserk. She could terminate a lot of individuals in a relatively short amount of time. It was exactly what a Terminator was constructed to do. If she used any weapons, she would only add to the death toll.

"Maybe she'll terminate all of them." Ally said.

Sheila didn't see a problem with it. The future would be better off without them.

"They're all future Scavengers anyway." Sheila said.

They closed up on Cameron. They wanted to see what she would do. If she started to terminate everyone, they would assist her. It would become another 'off the books' operation at that point. They went on plenty of those with her.

Cameron moved up to a cardboard shelter. It was propped up with a shopping cart which was missing two wheels, and an old tire without a wheel. There was a female inside. She was dirty and her clothing was ripped. One withered breast was exposed.

They watched as Cameron spoke with the female for a few minutes. It appeared they knew each other. She offered to take her to a shelter. The female declined.

Cameron opened the bag and handed the female some items. They were food items. She gave the bag of food to the female. The female expressed her thanks. She started to walk away from the homeless female. She stopped and went back. She took off her top and gave it to the female. She walked away with only her bra on and headed back towards her vehicle.

Sheila and Ally looked at each other. Cameron apparently tried to help the female who she must have encountered before. She literally gave her the shirt off of her back even.

They rushed back towards their SUV.

Ally took her top off and tossed it inside Cameron's SUV as they passed. She didn't want Cameron to return to the Resistance base with only her bra on. It would be sure to raise some questions.

Sheila looked at Ally and smiled as they ran. There was nothing but exposed sheath material above Ally's pants.

"It's a nice view." Sheila said. "You're topless now."

Ally always tried to be as much like Allison as possible. She loosely held one arm in front of her exposed breasts. It didn't bother her when she was nude. She was more concerned about anyone who might see her. They might try to become involved, or report it.

"You know Allison seldom wears a bra. I'm the same." Ally said. "It's no big deal."

Being nude was something Sheila liked to do.

"I'll say." Sheila said.

Sheila pulled her top off and handed it to Ally.

"I like to drive topless anyway." Sheila said. "I do it all the time. I like people to look at my nipple rings. There isn't anyone who can't. I can walk around topless like this and no one ever looks at my face. When I'm naked, their eyes never make it above my shoulders."

Sheila made no effort to cover herself as they made it back to their SUV. She liked her nipple rings to be seen. She liked how everyone looked at them, both male and female. She read a few studies which said females spend as much time looking at another female as males do when they see a new female. They both look at the same things, even if it was for different reasons.

Cameron returned to her SUV and noticed the top. She didn't remember Ally leaving it there earlier. Maybe she did. There were more than a few things she didn't remember from tonight. She briefly considered returning to the homeless female and giving it to her as well so she would have a spare. She realized she might need to make a few more stops. She would attract less attention with a top on, rather than just her bra. She put the top on and drove away.

It was something she often wondered about. Females didn't like to be seen in their underwear under normal circumstances. The same female would wear a bikini which didn't even have half the material to cover things as well as the underwear did. She never could understand what the difference was, especially when one showed much more than the other did of the female's anatomy.

Sheila and Ally again followed her. This time she did return to the Resistance base. Once John Henry verified she was inside and with John they then returned to Cameron's base. Sheila remained topless for the rest of the night. They were afraid Cameron would wander off. They wanted to be able to help her if she thought she was 'Allison' again.

It was an interesting prospect to both of them.

Ally wondered how Cameron would react to see 'herself' when she looked at her. She understood Cameron's reaction was bad enough when John told her who and what she was in the halfway house. Cameron told her she was genuinely happy right up until the moment when John ruined everything by bringing her closer to reality.

Sheila wondered if she could 'take a run' at Cameron if she thought she was 'Allison' to see how far it would 'go'. She thought it would be a sweet experience. She also knew it was 'wrong'. If she was with Cameron, she wanted Cameron to be 'Cameron'. She pushed the thoughts out of her head and refocused.

"What are we going to do about her, love?" Sheila asked.

Ally knew Cameron came before her. She might need to sacrifice herself in the short run so Cameron could continue if anything happened to her.

"I need to make sure she updates her spare chip before she goes. I may need to have you replace mine with it." Ally said. "Cameron comes first."

Sheila didn't think it would go so far, but it could. Maybe Ally knew more than she said.

"Do you think it's that bad?" Sheila asked.

Ally was sure the underlying issues were. She wanted all the bases covered.

"Yes." Ally said. "This chassis may have to become 'Cameron Prime'."

Sheila didn't want Ally's existence to end. It was what she basically just told her would happen if she needed to relinquish her chassis.

"What about you, love?" Sheila asked.

Ally was ready for a change in the short run. She also didn't need to be one of many. The chassis from the female Terminator she carried into Cameron's base earlier was available. It was also undamaged. Because of the darker pigmentation, everything was different on it than it was on hers. She would be unique among the female Terminators.

"I can use the new chassis we brought in today." Ally said. "I think her dark sheath is lovely. We will have to use the laser for sure on her, I checked…."

Sheila tilted her head slightly. It was something she hadn't been able to observe yet. It also seemed like a radical appearance shift. She was sure it would take a long time to completely Resequence if Ally chose to do so.

"Would you Resequence her back to Allison's appearance?" Sheila asked.

Ally already gave the whole issue some thought. She could try several different approaches on her appearance. There was one she would really like to try.

"No. I would take Summer's DNA. She's more beautiful than Allison. She will be anyway." Ally said. "It's why Cameron sent Summer away. She banished her to River's future."

Sheila wondered if a new 'name' would be in order as well, if Ally actually went through with her plan to eventually look like Summer.

"Would we call you 'Sally' or 'Sully'?" Sheila asked. "I don't think 'Almer' would cut it."

Ally didn't like the last two names Sheila mentioned. The first one wasn't too bad. There was a bigger issue in play. Maybe the best thing to do was to get in front of it and go see what was happening herself.

"I don't know, Sheila." Ally said. "Maybe I should go to the different futures in her place to check things out for her myself. I can pass for Cameron."

Sheila wanted to be diplomatic, but there was no easy way to say it. The bottom line was Ally wasn't 'Cameron'. She wasn't even a program clone. Anyone with past knowledge of Cameron was bound to notice it wasn't the same individual relatively quickly.

"I don't think you could for very long." Sheila said. "No offense."

Ally shot Sheila an angry look. She knew it was true but it questioned her ability as an infiltrator as well. She knew a lot about Cameron's existence and past life. She didn't know everything.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence." Ally said.

Sheila didn't want Ally to take the risk. She would rather do it. She could also settle a score for Cameron. There were people in her future who needed to atone for their actions. She thought she was best suited for the task on several levels.

"It would be better if I went." Sheila said. "I could hook up with the anti-Metal faction who sent 'that Jesse' and terminate all of them."

Ally liked the idea but she still thought she should be the one to go. Cameron needed some help so everything didn't fall on her back.

"I don't know. We need to help Cameron." Ally said. "I love her too."

"We all do, love." Sheila said. "We ALL do."

Maybe it would be better if both of them went together. They could accomplish a lot more as a team. They could bring some of the other Metal girls as well.

Closing monologue by Cameron:

Calculations

People can see the world
Each in a different way
Nothing has actually changed
Except what someone will say

Where is the common sense
Which so few seem to possess
Its absence seems to cause distress
While creating even more stress

Why is doing what's right
Worse than doing what's wrong
The weak are given a pass
While they persecute the strong

There are many things to consider
When someone makes a choice
The question might really be
Will anyone hear their voice

Before one develops expectations
They need to think about fluctuations
As they build tomorrow's foundations
While they make life's calculations

Nobody