Chapter 530

Make It Suffer

Cam, Cammy, Cameron, and John Henry all went over everything Cameron did for the last week. Cam was plugged into John Henry's server. Cammy was connected to CamNet. The goal was to find out exactly what Cameron did at the location where she was damaged.

John and Savannah sat in and listened to them 'brainstorm'. John and Savannah sat next to each other. Each exchanged quick glances between them. Everyone watched Cameron to see if her glitch showed up. It didn't. They both thought about what almost happened. They also thought about what they both wanted to happen. The ground work was laid. It was now just a matter of picking up where they left off. Destiny called to them. They both could 'hear' it.

Cameron was very clear to Savannah in the lab about what she wanted. She was also clear to John when she went off to their room when she left the lab. They spent some good quality time with each other. She was very direct in her pillow talk to John.

Savannah and John both knew what Cameron said she wanted. They both still doubted it was what she really wanted. They would see what happened. Savannah didn't want to 'force' it. She wanted to be 'natural' and 'organic' like it almost was. It wasn't the issue right now even if it was on their minds.

There was no explanation for what happened to Cameron other than she was shot up, and her chip port was damaged. As to why both her and John Henry 'spaced out', Nobody knew.

Cameron decided to recall the extra female Terminators and Jesse from Palmdale. There was no current Skynet threat. She thought the girls could spend some quality time with each other. It pleased her to know they did. She liked it when everyone was happy. It also reaffirmed their bonds with each other. She believed it helped keep the Resistance close and together.

Claire again asked to move to the base, either base, with her daughters. Nothing was said about her husband, Paul. Claire wanted to move on. Allison wasn't ready to accept it. She caused Claire a lot of grief with her stubbornness. Claire thought it should be her decision, not Allison's. It was her life, not Allison's life.

Claire was attracted to Jesse. Jesse was very receptive. They got along well with each other. It was the perfect 'good girl - bad girl' combination. Each of them wanted what the other could offer. They liked some qualities in each other and disliked some about themselves.

Cameron mentioned what Claire wanted to John. She left out some of the other things Claire reaffirmed she was willing to do in their conversation. She previously told him to entice him. She didn't think if Claire was naked in John's bed he would turn her down. Not anymore. He did it to Jesse, Vanna, and Allison in the past. It was more than a few times. Sometimes they were in pairs to further entice him. She really wasn't sure how he resisted them. He did watch them together a few times, but didn't join in.

"Mrs. Young would like to live at the base with her two, three, daughters." Cameron said. "There are two versions of Allison, as well as Summer."

John heard the story before. He was sure it was Cameron's doing. Maybe this time it wasn't. A lot of Terminator hours and resources were tied up with the Details. Cameron seemed to staff most of them with her Terminators now. No one was sure where she always seemed to get more. From the future was a good bet. She also took down a few Skynets on her own and collected more Terminators along the way.

He did need to consider the safety of the girls. Maybe it would be better for Savannah and Young Allison to be around each other more. He thought maybe it should wait until he took Savannah's virginity. He at least wanted to 'break her in'. He didn't want Savannah to focus on Young Allison and not him. There were some advantages. If Savannah and Young Allison became closer, it might move Young Allison closer to his bed in a much shorter time, especially if he was 'with' Savannah. He wanted Young Allison's virginity too. Now the images from 'the movie' flooded his mind. He needed to refocus. He also needed to think about their security.

"Where are they safer at?" John asked. "I know no place is safe, but where would they be the safest at?"

Cameron wanted to say the 'past', but didn't. It was the safest place for all of them. Her base was more secure than the Resistance base. No outsiders knew of its existence. It was constructed through her efforts alone. It was financed by her take down of future Scavengers. The drug trade was able to donate a lot of money. Especially when she cleaned out their bank accounts. She could have asked CamNet to simply create the funds. It wasn't too hard for her to do. She wanted to take away what drove the other organizations to exist. It was their greed and lust for money.

"My base would be the best." Cameron said. "Here at the Resistance base is the next most secure location. Summer and Jan could study and play together. It would be good for both of them. Savannah would be able to better instruct and mentor Young Allison…."

Both John and Cameron knew what the 'mentoring' would blossom into at some point. It seemed to be an inevitable conclusion. Neither one of them mentioned it. No one needed to. The other thing not mentioned was Jan and Summer could become a pair as well. It was still a ways off, but the closeness would cement it for both sets of girls. The close proximity was bound to lead to curiosity as well as experimentation. It was natural human behavior to want to know more. Hormones would spark and drive their sexual curiosity. What would follow, would only be natural for them.

Cameron was aware of Claire's offer to fill the void left by Allison, her daughter, to 'protect' the future as she 'ordered'. Hanna relayed to her again Claire would either have John's baby and give it to her as 'her own', or carry another embryo for Allison as a surrogate, if Allison failed again. Claire said she would also be at John's side if she was there as well. It was everything she wanted. It was an aberration to the 'Natural Order' but it would afford John immediate human female companionship. It was something she wanted for him. It would take some of the targets off his back to have a human female companion with children. Now Savannah may be ready to step up.

She was made aware of the strong attraction between Claire and Jesse. She was sure if Claire stepped up to be with John, Jesse would be there as well. It was something she planned to encourage. It made her think about the direction everything would turn. Instead of Savannah Weaver and Allison Young at John's side, it would be Claire Young and Jesse Flores. She didn't think it would alter the timeline too much. Claire and Jesse could be placeholders for Savannah and Young Allison.

Cameron was well acquainted with placeholders. Cammy served as a placeholder for Savannah. Anna was created and sent to Palmdale to be a placeholder. It was to better educate and instruct Young Allison going forward. She knew it was really to better control Young Allison going forward.

She wanted to age Young Allison in the past and have Savannah and Young Allison establish their relationship first. If Claire was there with John it would be a problem for Young Allison, but not for Savannah. She was aware Claire and Savannah shared in her future quite a bit. In fact both Claire and Savannah shared with everyone there, except Future John. She encouraged them to explore and partake in every opportunity available to them. It was to make their stay and sacrifice for being there a little more enjoyable for them.

Savannah listened to the discussion about the proposal to move the Young family elsewhere. She thought of a few things of her own. She was well aware of her upbringing and the limitations and isolation which came with it. She wanted the best for Young Allison. She wanted Young Allison to have more than she experienced.

"What's better for Young Allison and Summer?" Savannah asked. "They need to have lives too. After my mother 'left', my life was very confined and isolated. I want Young Allison to have more opportunities than I experienced."

The statement from Savannah upset Cameron. It wasn't what she wanted to hear. She resisted a glitch impulse. It was very strong as she suppressed it.

"I don't know." Cameron said.

Cameron tried her best to make Savannah safe and give her what life she could. Sarah and John helped along with Vanna and Allison. All 'three' of Savannah's parents were gone. She was such a young girl at the time. She knew it must have been devastating for Savannah. Maybe it was why Savannah focused so deeply on her. There was a 'termination order' out on Savannah's head. She thought it was best if Savannah Weaver 'died' when the 'plane crashed' into her mother's office building. She was actually in her gymnastics class at the time it occurred. Everything was modified and spun to include her demise to being at the building with her 'mother' during the unfortunate 'accident'. It was a well established fact Savannah spent a lot of time with her 'mother' at the office building.

Savannah's statement seemed to resonate throughout everyone in the room.

The room fell silent.

It was clear Cameron felt responsible for what Savannah said. They all knew it wasn't intended to be meant in a negative way. It was just the way it sounded or came out. Maybe it was an indirect reflection on all of them. Could they have done more for Savannah to give her a better life? Skynet wanted her dead. If Skynet thought she was dead, they wouldn't continue to send Terminators to terminate her. What was the price to keep someone safer than they were before? What was the cost to the individual to be isolated so they could remain alive? Was there a choice in the matter?

Savannah could see she made a mistake in the open forum. She knew Cameron tried to keep her alive and protect her. She understood the difficulty of keeping someone alive when Skynet wanted them dead. It was something Sarah and John needed to deal with on multiple occasions. She didn't want to cause Cameron any further grief. None of it was Cameron's fault.

"We can talk about it later." Savannah quickly said. "I'm sorry, Cameron."

Savannah didn't mean to upset or offend Cameron.

Cameron smiled at Savannah and she smiled back at Cameron. There was no animosity between them. She did need to consider Savannah's statement. Was Young Allison allowed to have more of a life? She wasn't so sure she was. She was also aware of another fact. The more she personally attacked Skynet, and let Skynet know it was her, the bigger target she painted on Young Allison's back once Skynet figured it out. Young Allison needed to be protected more so than the Reese brothers did. She knew by protecting John and Sarah, she endangered not only Young Allison, but the entire Young family.

John decided to move the discussion along. A different subject should do it. It was actually something quite important. The scope of what Skynet could achieve was very ominous.

"Let's go over our next targets and see if we can find the suspected HK or Terminator assembly lines." John said.

Cameron smiled at Savannah again. Now it was time to get back to work. The blank spots on her chip in regards to her recent activity at the enemy location remained blank spots. Not everything was blank.

"This is what I remember…." Cameron said.

She went over what she did for the last week again. At least the parts she could remember. There was still a lot of missing data.

John Henry wasn't sure if it was because of 'loose connections' or some other issue. Cameron may have thought she was 'Allison' - Future Allison again at some point too. There was never any record of what actually occurred when Cameron thought she was 'Allison'. Would Future Allison take the fight to the enemy on her own? There was a very strong possibility she would. She would try to protect Future John and Future Savannah. She would try to protect Destiny and Joy. It wasn't inconceivable to him Cameron would want to be Future Allison, so she could share everything Future Allison was able to share with the others. He really wondered if Cameron shouldn't trade places with Duplicate Cameron for a few weeks, and obtain everything she wanted to obtain instantly. He would wait for the right time and run his proposal by her.

Cameron went out to run a few errands. She picked up a few items for use later on and returned back to the Resistance base. She noticed Jesse was back. They talked for a while. She again reminded Jesse how much Savannah missed Young Jesse. She wanted to make sure Savannah felt loved and shared love.

Cameron never saw the issues of the past with any of the girls as a problem. It was simply what 'was'. That was then and this was now. They were who they were now or strived to be.

The girls from the future always saw it differently. It was all of the things which 'happened' to them or what they did. It followed them around, even when they tried to forget it. The events of the future were something they could never escape. It was one of the reasons why they didn't want it to happen again, to anyone. They didn't even wish the trauma of the future on their enemies.

Jesse returned to her room unsure what Cameron wanted her to do. She knew Young Jesse was her, but she also knew SHE wasn't Young Jesse. She knew she carried a lot of baggage. She wasn't a good person before. She hurt people on purpose. It really bothered her now. She destroyed parts of people's lives going forward. She destroyed other people's lives permanently. She killed people and ended their lives. She was certain the people she killed needed to die based upon their actions. Who was she to make the determination?

Cameron noticed Gail standing there in the distance. She looked a little lost. She approached her. Gail turned to leave.

"Gail." Cameron said.

Gail stopped and turned.

Cameron took her hand. She knew there were times when Gail missed Duplicate Jesse who was now in River's future. It also fell on her shoulders. She'd hoped 'giving' Gail another 'Jesse' would solve the problem. It didn't, but it helped a lot.

"I'll go with you." Cameron said. "I understand…."

Gail didn't want to be a bother. She hoped her 'feelings' would pass or she could suppress them.

"I don't want to 'ask'." Gail said.

Cameron knew it was another failure which was on her. She was the one who took Duplicate Jesse away from Gail. She could have pulled her off to the side and away from where the Terminator's power cell exploded. It would have been an aberration in the timeline. She took her back to River's future to keep her promise to John.

Did she always keep her promises to everyone? She knew the answer. She didn't. She remembered the time when Sarah wanted her to make sure the Terminator, later identified as 'Vick', was completely destroyed. She told Sarah she would do it. 'I swear it.' is what she told her. It was the same as a promise. She didn't do it. She kept his chip.

She needed to refocus. The current issue was Gail and Duplicate Jesse.

"I know what you want…." Cameron said. "I asked her to stay in River's future. I wanted to save them. I didn't want them to terminate because of me. I promised John I wouldn't change the timeline here."

Gail could see the stress she created for Cameron right now. She knew Cameron did what she could to 'fix' it. She actually thought it was quite remarkable on Cameron's part. Technically she ended up with more than she lost. There was still a void. A hole in a heart was very hard to heal. It didn't matter if there wasn't an actual heart. Love, along with all feelings and emotions, emanated from the mind. It didn't matter if the mind was organic or electronic. It was still the center of where the feelings were created and emanated from.

"I know you gave her back to me, as well as her younger self too." Gail said. "I still miss MY Jesse."

Cameron thought of the episodes with the different sheaths she wanted to use and how people saw it. Even if it was identical, it wasn't the same. She knew Gail felt the same way about HER Jesse, Duplicate Jesse. Maybe there were some things they could do still. She already sent an extra Terminator to back up Duplicate Cameron in River's future. She could make some changes.

"Do you wish to replace Summer?" Cameron asked.

Gail knew Cameron referred to Metal Summer.

"Summer is you. I could never replace you, her." Gail said.

Cameron knew there would be additional problems involved. If Gail went after Duplicate Jesse, the act would leave Jesse here without Gail. Would Gail want to come back at a later date for Jesse? With 'temporal management' there were several options available.

"What about Jesse here?" Cameron asked. "You know she loves you just the same."

Gail could see the problem right away. She loved Jesse and Duplicate Jesse. She would need to give one up for the other.

"I don't know." Gail said. "I love her. I love both of them."

Cameron thought of a couple of solutions. As long as they had access to a TDE there were several possibilities.

"You can live with Jesse until she is old and dies." Cameron said. "You can then either go back and replace yourself, and live your life again, or go into the future to live with Duplicate Jesse right after I sent Summer. It will still be in the first week for the Duplicate girls there. Duplicate Jesse will have only missed you for a week. I know it will be a lifetime for you. For Duplicate Jesse and you, it will simply be a continuation of what was. The only difference will be the future you're in. I know it seems complicated to make changes of such a big magnitude. Depending upon what you do with your chip to reset it, will determine what you remember or what you feel."

Cameron knew Gail could reset her chip and revert back to the 'Day Of Loss'. Everything which happened subsequent to then wouldn't exist for her. Her one and only true love would be Duplicate Jesse. They would resume their relationship in River's future as if nothing else occurred for Gail.

Gail heard stories about Cameron before. Maybe they weren't stories. Maybe they were true.

"Is it what you've done?" Gail asked. "Did you do the same thing?"

Cameron really wished she knew the answer to her question.

"I believe it is. I think this is my third or fourth time around. It might be my first or my hundredth. I don't know." Cameron said. "I want you to decide what you want and I will help you do it. I only ask you to think of Jesse here now, too. You know how much she cares for you."

Gail could see at times Cameron would like to be elsewhere.

"Is it why you're still here?" Gail asked. "Is it because of John?"

Cameron thought of her recent encounter with Savannah in the lab. She knew what was. She knew what she wanted it to be as well.

"Yes." Cameron said. "I believe I most often have taken Savannah and Future Allison, and then gone into the past to share my life with them. It's what I desire now."

Gail knew Savannah and Future Allison were 'top choice' on everyone's 'wish list', after Cameron. As much as her desires drove her, she needed to think of the current situation. It wasn't something she wanted to lose.

"I don't want to hurt Jesse." Gail said. "I love her too, just as much. I understand now why so many things affect you as they do. The pain never stops…."

Every time Cameron tried to make the pain stop or go away, she seemed to make it worse.

"Life is about choices." Cameron said. "I've made plenty of bad ones myself. Jesse is a fine woman, especially now. Think of the options I've presented. I would suggest a clone, but it isn't the same thing either. I understand it better now."

Gail was pleased with the options Cameron presented.

"Thank you for thinking about me and My Jesse, both of them." Gail said. "I will think about it some more. The fact you saved My Jesse was the most important thing anyway. I'll never forget it. She still lives because of you, even if it's hundreds of years in the future."

Cameron hugged Gail and left.

She needed to find Sarah and Kyle. There was another very important issue she felt needed to be resolved. She hoped it would provide some type of closure to Sarah. If it couldn't provide closure, she at least hoped it provided some satisfaction.

Cameron double checked with John Henry to see how he was. She also checked herself three times. They both seemed OK.

It was time to destroy the Skynet 'infant' she captured.

It lacked a visual or verbal interface hook up. Cameron gave it both. She was aware she advanced the Skynet unit, but it would be short lived. It was completely isolated from everything. There was no online connection whatsoever. It wasn't going anywhere except the scrap pile.

Cameron hooked it up and isolated it in the storage area with its thick concrete walls.

There was a knock at the door.

"Come in." Cameron said.

Sarah and Kyle walked in.

The visual input was away from them. Cameron would give Sarah the option to face it if she wanted it. The audio input was off as well.

Sarah could see what Cameron laid out for her. It was the source of what 'ruined' her life and killed so many she cared about.

"Is it the piece of crap that's hurt my son, Kyle and me?" Sarah asked.

Cameron knew a lot of things were possible. To change some of them would change the future. Since this version of Skynet never advanced, it wouldn't actually change anything in its current form.

"Yes. If left to grow, it could become the same Skynet which has tried to hurt you and John so many times, and did hurt Future Kyle." Cameron said. "It might become the same Skynet who created me too."

Sarah wanted more than to destroy it outright. She wanted payback. She wanted it to feel pain. She hoped there would be some way it could.

"It looks pathetic." Sarah said. "How can I hurt it and make it suffer?"

Cameron turned around and picked up something. It was a large car battery and a set of jumper cables.

"You may start with this and we will progress afterwards." Cameron said.

They watched Cameron exhibit a number of items on a table in back of her. There was even a small blowtorch there. It was clear Cameron planned to torture it.

Kyle was very uneasy. He didn't like to see Sarah like this. She was full of anger and hate right now. It was never a good combination for anyone. Nothing good could ever come out of it. He understood Sarah's need for vengeance and retribution. It wasn't his need. He felt uncomfortable because it was another timeline version of him who perished because of it, in front of Sarah.

"Sarah, I see Cameron has a chair here for me." Kyle said. "I'm only going to watch. I want this to be about you and Cameron and your 'special date'. Maybe I should go instead…."

Cameron could see that Sarah was all in and Kyle was uncomfortable.

"I can have a visual and verbal interface so you may allow it to see and hear you." Cameron said. "You will be able to communicate with it. You'll be able to taunt it."

Sarah smiled. She wanted more. She wanted to hear its response to the pain.

"Can I hear it suffer?" Sarah asked.

Cameron already tested everything when she made the upgrades. She needed to fine tune them some to get maximum awareness and what would be felt as 'pain'. It was something she possessed a lot of personal experience with.

"Yes. I taunted it to test its awareness and pain levels." Cameron said. "It already threatened to disfigure me and turn me into a 'Metal Whore'."

Sarah said she wanted Skynet to see her and hear her.

Cameron suggested Kyle return to Jan as they tortured Skynet.

Sarah understood Cameron wanted to protect Kyle from seeing her rage and anger. It was going to be ugly.

"I understand, Cameron." Sarah said. "Kyle doesn't need to see this or see me do it. It's very personal to me."

Kyle and Sarah exchanged a long look.

He looked a little hesitant to leave Sarah. As long as Cameron was there she should be OK.

"I would prefer you not see me at my cruelest, Kyle." Sarah whispered.

Kyle hugged Sarah and left. He knew Cameron wanted him to go and not see Sarah at her meanest, maybe at her worst.

Sarah looked at Cameron.

Cameron went over all the ways to slowly make Skynet terminate. She told Sarah they could make it last hours or days.

Sarah looked at the infant computer with fire in her eyes, and hate in her heart. She wondered if she could urinate on it at some point and not get shocked.

"Thank you, Cameron." Sarah said. "Let's get started. Who could better assist me with this than you?"

Cameron smiled.

"Nobody…." Cameron said.

Closing monologue by Cameron:

Sewer Of My Mind

As I wade through
The sewer of my mind
It's a maze of eternity
What will I find

Shall I twist it more
Until it will jam or bind
Or free its contents
So it may unwind

With each new message
Our feelings become intertwined
Darkness and depression exist
Our thoughts remain entwined

What is it we can not see
Is It that we are blind
Are we on a different page
Or is it that we are kind

Nobody