Chapter 576

Don't Push It

Cameron looked very nervous. It was clear she was ready to glitch out. Everyone was repaired except Cammy and her. She didn't want Savannah to see her. Her sensors indicated her damage was extensive. She didn't know the full extent of the damage because most of the sensors no longer functioned. She was sure the sensors didn't function because they were gone. They were no longer there. She was hesitant to do a full visual inspection.

"Savannah, I need you and Vanna to go please, for me." Cameron said. "I'm damaged…."

Savannah and Vanna looked at each other. To be asked to leave was something new.

Cameron could see their concern. It was only overshadowed by their love for her. Still it was very personal to her at this point. She felt as if she was 'sending them away'. She couldn't help but draw a parallel to how Future John made her feel. It wasn't her intention, it was just the way things played out.

"Please, don't ask." Cameron said. "Cam and Cammy will make the repairs. My sisters will take care of me, this time."

Cam and Cammy glanced at each other. They weren't Cameron's sisters, they were her.

Cameron was adamant no one should see her true condition.

Vanna was ready to go. Savannah wasn't.

"OK, Cameron, but we won't be far." Vanna said. "I understand…."

Vanna went to leave. Savannah didn't. She wasn't about to abandon Cameron in her time of personal need. Something ate at her deeply as well.

Savannah remembered the bloody pants Cameron wore and the pair of shredded bloody pants on the floor of the 'Clean Room'. She didn't understand it at all. Cameron never 'sent her away' like this before. Something was wrong….

Savannah stopped at the door. She already made up her mind.

"Go on, Vanna, I need to stay." Savannah said. "Something else is wrong. I saw things I couldn't explain before. I think I know what they are now. I saw things no one else did. It is something I need to deal with personally with Cameron, even if no one else is there including the Metal girls."

Vanna looked back at Savannah. She could feel something was very wrong as well. If anyone could stay it was Savannah. It wasn't her. Savannah was on the battlefield with Cameron. She indicated she saw something no one else did. Cameron would know it. She didn't know how far things could go. She wanted to give Savannah a warning in case she was shut out and would feel hurt.

"Don't push it, Savannah." Vanna said. "Even you can only 'bend' her so much. Put yourself at her place, think of how you would feel."

Savannah was going to push it. Things needed to be pushed. She was there to help, not create a problem. Cameron needed to trust her love. Cameron needed to trust her own love. She couldn't think of a better example to do it and under the current conditions of extreme distress. Cameron taught her to hold her ground. Cameron taught her to stand up for what she believed in. She intended to do both of those things.

"I guess I'll find out." Savannah said.

Vanna looked over at Cameron, Cam and Cammy. They all looked upset. She thought it was a really bad idea for Savannah to stay and push things. She looked at Savannah for a long moment.

"Good luck." Vanna said and left.

Savannah didn't like the idea of being sent away. She viewed and worked on every part of Cameron. Cammy was identical to Cameron so there was no mystery about 'anything'. This was something which really needed to bother Cameron. She tried to figure out what it was. She thought about the things she witnessed in the remains of the clean room. The things she could think of, all seemed to get worse and worse.

Cameron, Cammy, and Cam were all talking. They knew Savannah hadn't left.

Cammy felt the 'enforcement' of Cameron's order fell on her. Savannah was her lover. She would try a diplomatic approach at first. It wasn't something she wanted to do to Savannah. She still needed to make the rules known. Cameron didn't ask for much from anyone. Her privacy now is something she asked for. She believed Cameron's request should be followed.

"Savannah, Cameron wants you to go." Cammy said. "She wants to be alone."

Savannah could see the statement for what it meant. Cameron was alone with 'herself' with Cam and Cammy. They were both identical clones of her. They both ran her program, even if it wasn't updated.

Savannah didn't leave. She appreciated the tact Cammy tried to use. She figured things were going to take a very negative turn, rather soon. She thought the best thing to do was to be direct.

"NO." Savannah said.

Cam stopped talking to Cameron. She looked over at Savannah. She could see there was going to be a problem. She knew it was about to get worse. She knew what Cameron wanted. Savannah needed to respect Cameron's wishes.

"No?" Cam asked.

Savannah looked back to make sure Vanna was gone. She definitely faced Cam and Cammy.

"NO. N - O." Savannah said. "YOU aren't sending ME away."

Cammy started to walk over to Savannah to usher her out. She was prepared to physically carry her out if necessary. She needed to respect Cameron's wishes. Cameron asked no one else be there.

Savannah intended to make her stand. She needed to stand up for what she believed in. She believed in Cameron. She believed in herself. She believed in love. She couldn't help but think about the incident in Cameron's future when Cammy physically restrained her inside the energy bubble. She didn't intend for there to be any type of repeat performance.

"Forget it, Cammy." Savannah said as she stood her ground. "You're not going to stop me. You did it once. It's never going to happen again."

Savannah reached back and touched her Taser. She didn't pull it, but she made her point. She wasn't going to go easy. Her Taser was 'hot'. She intended to use it if she needed to. The ball was in Cammy's court. She would use it on Cam as well. She wouldn't use it on Cameron.

Cameron quickly moved to prevent a confrontation between Cammy and Savannah. She could see Savannah's love would drive her to any extremes, even if it meant she would have to take down her cyborg lover. Even though it disturbed her, she was very proud of the way Savannah stood up for herself and for her. She was well aware of how many times Savannah saved her. Savannah was the one who came for her in the destroyed clean room.

"Savannah can stay." Cameron said. "She's earned the right to be our equal."

Savannah felt triumphant. She knew how far she would have gone if push came to shove. She glared at Cammy and Cam. They both may be 'Cameron', but they weren't Cameron.

"Thank you, Cameron." Savannah said.

They all knew both Cammy and Cam were 'Cameron'.

Savannah knew it was going to be some really bad news. She believed they needed to face things head on and not try to dance around them. If something needed to be done or fixed, it wasn't going to happen on its own. If it needed to be done, it needed to be done. It was time to get started.

Vanna waited outside the lab door. She listened and watched as best as she could. She knew Savannah was 'pushing it'. She saw the confrontation between Cammy and Savannah. She was sure there was going to be a problem about it later on. She watched Savannah's hand move in back of her. She realized Savannah was ready to pull her Taser out and bring Cammy down. She figured it would be another problem in addition to what already existed. Then again, Savannah was just allowed to stay. It came close to a confrontation, but Savannah was still inside.

She knew Savannah would be a much better warrior and person than she ever could be. She was proud of Savannah who was 'herself' in reality. Cameron molded Savannah in her image and it showed in everything she did. She could always see Cameron wanted to make Savannah the human female she wished she could be. You knew it was even going to be more so with Young Allison.

She would question Savannah later about it. Right now she wanted to honor Cameron's wishes. She hoped Savannah would hang tough.

John knew Cameron was 'hurt'. Cameron absolutely didn't want him to see her with major damage. He knew it bothered her greatly. He could never make Cameron understand he would love her no less because of her damage and he wanted to help repair her. He wasn't really sure when it became such an issue for her. Maybe it was when she started to have substantial damage. Maybe it started when it was the kind of damage he caused when he sent her in to get his mother out of jail. He didn't know why he didn't wait a few days and simply nab her when they moved her from the county jail to a federal prison. It was what they did to get Future Derek out.

He just really didn't understand it at times. It was all very frustrating. Maybe it was all his fault for some of the choices he made and some of the things he said over the years.

John Henry watched as Cameron sent everyone out. He was surprised his access was still functioning. He figured it would probably end soon enough.

"Cameron has sent everyone away." John Henry said.

John was lost in his own thoughts. They weren't a good place to go. He wanted to know more about what occurred in the lab. He was more than a little surprised with John Henry's report. He wanted some further clarification.

"Did she even send Savannah away?" John asked.

John Henry was surprised and then surprised again.

"Yes. She did." John Henry said. "Savannah refused to leave. She faced down, Cammy, and Cam. There was almost a physical confrontation. I saw her move her hand behind her. Cameron needed to intervene."

John smiled faintly. He understood it was a threat to use her Taser on them. He didn't think it was a bluff either.

"She's amazing…." John said.

John Henry thought John referred to Savannah but didn't want to ask. He didn't want to encourage John to act the same way. He was sure the end results would play out differently. Maybe the best thing to do was refocus John, and himself for that matter.

"I've started to go over the data. There are still several locations we haven't yet uncovered from this operation." John Henry said. "It may be more than two."

They were aware there were two separate groups of Grays and HK drones which came to attack them. It meant they still needed to track down two more locations and eradicate them.

Based on the fact the two different groups arrived at two separate times, it indicated their distance from the location was different. One group was further away than the other. The other disturbing factor was many of the 'Grays' involved were not Grays at all. They were people who worked for them for high pay. It was doubtful they knew they were actually collaborators. They could be viewed as mercenaries if they did. They seemed to run into the same types of individuals more and more. Many of the people recruited were little more than future Scavengers, and their behavior indicated such. They all seem more than willing to embrace the Skynet lifestyle and everything the future offered them.

John Henry could see John wasn't paying attention. He really couldn't blame him.

Jesse was troubled because Gail went out on another operation. Maybe it was because she went out on one just a few days ago herself. Gail would feel compelled to act in her place. She was left with Ally and Sheila and they were all lost in sex while Gail was out in the field. Sheila was called away at one point. It was only after Sheila left when she began to want to find out what exactly was going on.

She found out soon enough and was part of the repair process. She was back in her room now with Gail. She stripped off most of Gail's clothing. She did it in a very loving manner.

Jesse looked over Gail's wounds. They bothered her very much. She knew they would heal rapidly. She gently touched each one and gave it a kiss.

Gail was pleased when Jesse paid her a lot of attention. She was also worried about her appearance. She understood Cameron's uneasiness about being damaged. She was damaged more in the last couple of weeks than she was in the last couple of years.

"Thank You, Jesse." Gail said. "I'm sorry I'm 'damaged'."

Jesse didn't want Gail to think about it. She knew Gail was 'different' since the last time she was damaged. She didn't know what really happened to Gail.

"Don't worry about it." Jesse said. "You're a fast healer."

Gail felt more than a little 'guilty' about it all. She got off easy. She saw Cameron 'favored' her in the fight. She suffered less because of it.

"The others were all damaged worse than me." Gail said. "Cameron asked me to provide security on their rear to cover their six. It kept me out of most of the direct fighting."

Jesse was aware someone needed to watch their backs. Gail should see it for what it was. It was part of the job.

"You were still shot up." Jesse said. "Cameron tried to protect you. If you didn't do what you did, someone else would need to do it. I don't think it's anything to worry about."

Gail didn't tell Jesse the damage happened because she went after the two hostile Terminators who ganged up on Cameron's Terminator. She felt there was a personal score to settle. She looked at Jesse. She really loved her. Maybe it was why it made her feel worse inside. She was conflicted.

"I went to be with Savannah." Gail said. "I went on the operation myself. I volunteered."

Jesse smiled. She was pleased Gail assisted. She would have gone herself if she knew about it. She was busy with Sheila and Ally for the entire morning. It was just something she could never get enough of.

"You went to protect her and help her." Jesse said. "It was a good thing."

Gail looked at Jesse and hung her head down.

Jesse could see there was a deeper issue. Gail didn't act like this, not until last week.

"Gail?" Jesse asked. "What is it? You can tell me. We don't have any secrets."

Gail looked back at Jesse. She felt she needed to be honest. She wanted to 'confess'.

"I'm in love with Savannah." Gail said.

Jesse looked at Gail. She almost wanted to make a joke about it but refrained. She didn't want to laugh but almost did. She didn't. They were all in love with each other. They were all one big happy family and any of the girls could be with any of the other girls and it was no big deal. There was plenty of love and even more sex to go around.

"Gail, we're all in love with Savannah. If you love Cameron, then you love Savannah." Jesse said. "Everyone loves BOTH of them."

Gail expected to be 'punished' and then rejected. She even brought along a knife so Jesse could disfigure her. She was aware of what Jesse did in the future to females she wanted to 'hurt'. She planned to leave her pain receptors on as she was 'punished'.

"You aren't angry at me?" Gail asked.

Jesse smiled at Gail and touched her face.

"How could I be angry at you for what I feel too?" Jesse asked.

Jesse and Gail discussed things before. She understood it deeply troubled Gail for her to dwell on it. Then again, it's what Terminators did. They always dwelt on something which bothered them. She saw it turn into a near fatal obsession for Cameron before. She didn't want Gail to get on the same path. It wasn't a good one.

Jesse moved over and kissed Gail. It showed Gail expanded and grew as she should do. It was part of her programming to be a better infiltrator.

"You've expanded beyond your programming just like all the other female Terminators." Jesse said. "That's something you should be proud of. Everyday you become more like 'me'."

Gail tilted her head slightly. Jesse was a hard lover with a dark past. She wanted to clarify a few things.

"Is it a good thing?" Gail asked.

Jesse thought maybe she should qualify her statement some. She felt she was a 'work in progress' more than anything. She appreciated the chance to start some things over.

"I hope so." Jesse said. "I'm a better person than I was, but still not as good as I will be."

Gail tilted her head slightly.

"I feel the same way too." Gail said.

Jesse noticed Gail looked worried. She wondered if there was a little more to the story. She wondered if there was a different story.

"What else is wrong?" Jesse asked.

Gail remembered her earlier affliction to terminate herself when Duplicate Jesse was believed to have been killed. She was aware of Cameron's many trials and tribulations.

"Do you think I'll have the same 'troubles' as Cameron?" Gail asked. "She's tormented by so many things. I'm afraid now it will happen to me."

Jesse thought Cameron's problems were much deeper rooted and there were many more of them.

"I think you have a long way to go before it will ever happen." Jesse said.

Gail didn't know for sure what would happen to her.

"Somehow I think it's a 'bad' thing which actually sounds like a good thing." Gail said. "I think it's time you're de-briefed."

Jesse playfully stripped off Gail's underwear as she led her to the bed. She was ready for a close up of what she uncovered.

"Right now, it's all about you." Jesse said. "I'm going to do everything for you. I want you to feel 'special'. Just lay back and relax. It's all that matters right now."

Jesse knew extreme sex worked for her. It was the only time she felt 'free'. She could slowly be 'worked on' to the point of oblivion. She made sure the Terminators understood to keep her there for as long as possible. If she went 'out', she wanted them to leave her there for several minutes. She wanted to see what was on the other side. So far it was nothing.

Gail felt confused and conflicted. Jesse seemed to have a way to make her remember all the good things between them. She could feel them all right now…. The 'finish' really was the 'escape'. She possessed the ability to put a 'finish' in a loop and keep it going. She would need to make sure she didn't overload though. Right now Jesse made her feel good and she didn't care about anything else.

"…John…." John Henry said.

John looked over at John Henry. He realized he spoke to him. He didn't have a clue as to what he said. Since it was so blatantly obvious, he thought he should come clean.

"Sorry. I was thinking about Cameron." John said. "I'm good."

John Henry reviewed the data from the attack.

"Since the HK drones came in two groups, as did the attackers, we are most likely dealing with two or more locations where HK drones have been stored."

It was worrisome to John on several levels.

"It makes sense." John said. "I don't understand how they've been able to do so much."

John Henry hoped to get a break online and come up with something specific about Skynet. He'd hoped to find a pattern.

"I can't detect any trace of Skynet or its offshoots online and neither can CamNet." John Henry said.

John knew Skynet only needed a few seconds in the defense computers of the nuclear nations around the world to start the apocalypse. It could actually be done very quickly.

"Where's it hiding?" John asked. "What's it waiting for?"

John Henry didn't know but he'd put his money on Cameron. Cameron was the key. Skynet feared Cameron.

"It's hiding from us. It's hiding from Cameron specifically." John Henry said. "Cameron has always made sure Skynet knows who terminated it, each one of them."

It was always a point of confusion to John. Cameron told him the same thing before.

"If she destroys them, how can anyone find out?" John asked. "How can the destroyed Skynet let anyone know?"

John Henry knew the threat was identified in other futures as well. It made even less sense to him. The fact still remained they knew of Cameron. Skynet knew about the 'Metal Bitch' who stalked it and terminated it.

"I don't know." John Henry said. "Somehow some of them have passed the 'message'."

John understood Cameron's actions.

"Cameron's doing it to protect me." John said. "She's made herself the target."

John Henry knew of the downside to it. To protect John, Cameron put others at risk.

"The move by Cameron to protect you, endangers every Allison." John Henry said.

John figured it was his fault.

"I wonder if she knows it. I know she does." John said. "I wonder if she cares."

John Henry knew the base root of Cameron's reprogramming once she was captured.

"She values your life above all others, John." John Henry said. "You know this."

John thought it was something personal to Cameron as well. He felt Cameron hated Skynet for creating her in the first place. He remembered her very first poem - Outsider.

"I do." John said. "I also think she takes satisfaction in killing it, Skynet."

The concept troubled John Henry some.

"I believe she does take satisfaction in terminating sometimes." John Henry said. "It's very un-Terminator like activity."

John was pretty sure he witnessed a lot of it. There was something very specific which came to mind. He wasn't an actual part of the end of it, only the beginning.

"My Mom once told me a long time ago Cameron killed three men for stealing her purple leather coat." John said. "We were robbed and all our money and important stuff was gone. Cameron was only concerned with her purple coat. When they tracked them down, it's what Cameron demanded back. She then shot the man who was wearing it, after she forced him to give it back at gunpoint."

John remembered his mother said Cameron's face was completely blank when she did it. There was no emotion on it whatsoever. She knew it was revenge.

John Henry was aware Cameron offered a different explanation.

"I've seen the file." John Henry said. "Cameron told Sarah she killed them because they knew where you lived."

John knew Cameron faced several emotional challenges then. The biggest one was of his making.

"It's what Cameron said." John said. "It was when Cameron's 'feelings' and 'emotions' were starting to emerge. Mom always thought it was revenge and 'hate'."

John and John Henry sat in silence for a while as they mulled over all of the information. They both knew in Cameron's poems she expressed 'hatred'. It was usually directed at herself.

"Back to business…." John Henry said. "I've calculated several locations we need to check."

John didn't want Cameron back in combat again right away. They were still in the process of repairing her. He wanted to give her some time off.

"Send some of our other Terminators out on it. DON'T let Cameron know yet." John said. "Her 'recons' always turn into assaults."

John Henry understood the logic. It was about efficiency rather than strategic.

"She figures if there's a clear threat and she's there already…." John Henry said.

John saw it a little deeper.

"And she doesn't care if she's terminated." John said.

John Henry believed it was part of Cameron's nature.

"She's a Terminator." John Henry said. "Old habits die hard."

The thought angered John some because she didn't listen.

"Let's hope she doesn't…." John said.

John Henry tilted his head slightly.

"Die hard?" John Henry asked.

John frowned with a look of sadness.

"Die." John said.

Savannah knew something was really wrong for Cameron to behave the way she did. She walked back to Cameron. It was time to be firm.

"May I inspect your damage now?" Savannah asked. "Only Cam and Cammy have seen some of it. I want to see all of it. I've come to the conclusion you're hiding something very severe. I think you're hiding it from yourself. I'm here to assist you. I'm here to help you."

Cameron felt a glitch impulse.

"I'll need several sections of sheath material off of the deactivated female Terminator." Cameron said.

Cameron looked away from Savannah. The glitch impulse increased. She knew her future was altered.

Cam and Cammy stood there with blank faces. It was unusual for them. They must be suppressing strong feelings or emotions. It wasn't a good sign. They were trying to hold it together as Terminators, as stone cold killers. When the blank look was there, it was the machine inside them, trying to remain a machine.

Cameron looked at Savannah and silently removed her bloody pants.

Savannah let out a small gasp. She now knew the shredded bloody pants on the 'Clean Room' floor were Cameron's.

Savannah couldn't believe what she saw.

There was nothing to see but metal.

"It's gone." Savannah said. "Everything is - gone."

Cameron remembered what she did to Holly's chassis in her future. This was her payback. She wanted Savannah to know her punishment was justified by her own previous actions against another.

"Yes. This is my karma. I did this to someone else once. I'm allowing you to see this so you will take my place at John's side. He will need female companionship to function properly." Cameron said. "I'm no longer - female."

Cameron was 'Nullo'.

Closing monologue by Cameron:

Don't Push It

There are many things
Which one will bend to and submit
Even if some of them
Seem rather unfit

Some can make one do
Things they'd rather not admit
They want to hang on
To remain in one's orbit

No one wants to be labeled
As some type of misfit
Even if the other one
Thinks they have them outwit

To keep them close
They're willing to commit
They don't want to split
They'd rather not quit

To keep everything going
Smooth and tight knit
Be careful with the wit
Think twice and don't push it

Nobody

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Outsider

When I look in the mirror
I don't like what I see
When I look inside of myself
I don't like what I can't be

I hate what I am
I hate what I'm not
I hate everything about myself
I guess it covers a lot

I feel so small
It's like I don't exist
Useless and worthless
Nothing on which to subsist

I'm an outsider
Always on the outside looking in
There's so much inside of me
To want to exist isn't a sin

From this torment there's no escape
My CPU and power cell are filled with guilt
If I had only one wish it would be
Never to have been built

Cameron